Bila you cakap pasal finally dapat the right diagnosis tu I boleh relate sangat!! I dah lama self harm, tracing all the way back from I was 14-15 years old. our age difference cuma 4 years so during that time yes, I tak faham kenapa I rasa macam mana I rasa sedangkan I grew up privileged. I genuinely don't know what exactly, but I just KNOOWWW deep down that something is different, something is wrong. Eventually I developed depression, itu pun I banyak kali chicken out from getting professional help. Ye la I fikir depression is for trauma. If anything I am privileged as hell??? Tapi I was suffering so much jugak that I banyak kali go to different GP mintak referral to psychiatrist tapi I never had courage to actually go and set up the appointment. Bila I finally jumpa psychiatrist at 23 and was diagnosed with not just MDD but also PDD sebab doctor cakap I dah lama sangat depressed. But the treatment didn't help sangat. Yes, the antidepressants stopped me from having breakdowns tapi the feeling of there's something wrong still ada. For 2 years I dapat treatment for depression and bila I point out yang it's not working the doctors just bagitau I that it takes time. I even gained a whole 20kg from the medication. One day I tersampai appointment lambat, patutnya 9AM tapi I sampai 11AM. Sebab HKL so very packed and I orang yang last doctor jumpa. Tapi hikmah dia is that the doctor actually pushed me to another doctor sebab dia nak pergi lunch so this doctor tak penat and actually had a whole hour to listen to me insisting that something is still very wrong with me. This doctor finally agreed, yeah you punya symptom ni could be from something else. Your depression ni could be rooted from untreated condition. This doctor whom I didn't remember his name tapi I ingat dia pakai scrubs HUKM even I time tu kat HKL bless his heart I kalau ingat dia I mesti doa ya Allah tolonglah give him anything that he wanted. This doctor finally explained to me he suspected I ada either BPD or ADHD and actually set me an appointment with pakar for further diagnosis siap pesan next appt bawak parents I sebab nak tanya childhood behaviour and pregancy history. Finally at 24 years old, 2 years behind in my bachelor's degree, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Bila I pergi therapy and makan ubat ADHD baru I rasa macam "OH so this is what I felt different from my peers. Ni rupanya the feeling that I can't describe to the people around me." Now I dah 2 years under ADHD treatment, I dah managed to shed off 8kg from the 20kg that I gained, I dah boleh stop antidepressants and although severely behind in my degree siap pernah attempt 2 kali sebab I rasa impossible untuk I grad, I tinggal fyp je untuk graduate. So yes, getting the correct diagnosis and treatment is such a life saving and changer.
I remember joining your tiktok live back in 2021. You were obviously not fine. Nampak sangat kacau bilau, you talked about BTS, The Sims but I remember it clearly when you were looking for the ghost through your bedroom window masa tu dah lah 1-3 pagi. Few weeks after you kerap sgt buat live dekat tiktok that time, I was worried when you're disappeared all of sudden. I'm glad you're back now. Thank you Nisha for being strong❤
terima kasih nisha for this sharing..adik akak pun tak berapa sihat..lebih kurang kes nisha..and serioisly akak mmg cari org yg sharing info macam nisha..sbb kami(family) tak nak dia rasa sendiri dan kami pun nak tahu how to help her..tq nisha tq sgt...
Salam. I feel you Nisha. I remember crying my eyes out reading your writing about mental illness cause I can feel your pain. Let me quote it here ; "I know your illness robs you of your dignity, strips you down naked and makes you feel weak. Makes your head feel heavy but your eyes are wide awake. I know there is a storm inside you and that you are drowning, gasping for air. I know you are tired. I know you are broken. I know you are only a shell of your old self. I know you are screaming for peace but you are just out of reach of it. Your wings are broken and beaten and mangled and you could barely stand up, let alone fly like you used to." That made me cried like crazy. In 2022, my first diagnose was mdd. But on my second appointment doctor said my mdd medication triggered bipolar. I was in denial masa doctor kata. I remember telling my doctor rasa macam duduk dalam dua kotak. Satu kotak rasa macam nak mati, satu kotak high on energy. I think I dah try almost 10 jenis ubat utk bipolar but still, i feel like shit. I dont even know what to do with this life anymore. Sama macam you cakap, nak mati tapi ada benda nak buat. Btw, keep going Nisha. I wish I can hug you in person. Thank you for being alive. ❤
Alhamdulilah nisha dh recover ❤ i doa you always sehattt. And hope your journey inspired smua org yg ada masalah yg sama. Yg penting for me, kita ada kne ada org yg sokong kita mcm family n org kita syg. Supaya kita lebih bersemangat. Take care nisha. Lovee your story❤❤ shade skintific- vanilla 01 😊
watching your video really opened my eyes how difficult it is bila deal dengan mental illness yang more severe. thank you for making this video nisha and letting us about some things yang takda banyak info (macam ECT)
I tak penah come across this kind of video.. selalunya yg share suruh seek professional help je..but never about side effects of meds. It's not that long..kalau video sejam pon I tak skip. I'm happy that you're better now. May Allah protect you! ❤ Selamat berpuasa
Nisha no, your video is not that long, it’s really useful untuk orang yang macam i yang selalu dengar pasal mental health tapi tak pernah tahu exactly what is mental health person going through. Nisha thanks for sharing your experience with us. anyway im in the shade beige
Speechless because i had thru the same, dr diagnosed me with psychosis and mdd back then. After recruit airforce I thought I totally survived from mdd and psychosis, but lately it’s come again and now im hate being alone and don’t want suicide attempts like i used to do…..
i feel u.. haha i mula kena diagnosed with mdd, a year later, bipolar disorder type 2. i suka bila dgr org yg ada experience mcm i, sbb i rasa tak alone. waktu first time i experienced mdd, i selalu rasa alone. lepas i mcm kenal dgn org2 yg ada mental illness baru i rasa mcm semangat.
I rasa bersyukur sgt you share how psychosis felt and how medications affect you. I really wish you boleh share what happen during admission, mcm apa therapy being offered and how ward look like
I nangis tgk vdeo ni. Its not that im facing the same thing. Its the thought of what the people like u been going through while being sick like this. Thanks for sharing im proud of u.. People with mental health issue please seek help if u think there is something wrong with yourself. And i harap org2 sekeliling pon lebih aware kalau ada dikalangan kita yang 'tak sihat' mcm ni. Jangan kalau org kata nak mati kau sbok srh doa sembahyang sometime its just not it..
Im facing psychosis phase at the moment. Memang nmpk kelibat hitam like suka pantau i. Wherever I go. Even time i nak tidur i nampak tiba tiba diri dpn i. But then bila tutup mata and buka balik. Dah tak ada. Nampak mcm kelibat someone i know pun ada. Sometimes it confusing me whether it’s psychosis or benda ghaib 😅
Hi Nisha, I've been watching your video since a long time ago especially about the make up things. But tbh I think you should produce more videos about your mental illness update. You don't know even though you just want to share what youve been through as mental illness person but your video might help others who might facing the same things to make a first move, is to seek for help. I hope you will not stop make youtube video, please stay active 😊
Thank you nisha for sharing this with us. I can relate to some of your experiences. I’m just wondering, in relationshop wise, how can our partner support us? I hesitate to be in relationship because I’m afraid that I will scare them away…
Been watching your vids since my spm & now dah habis diploma and nak sambung degree pulak, rasa mcm tgk your vid membesar together with ur vid 😢… watching ur vids doing review, makeup tutos makes me feel in safe place & rasa macam tengah chit chats w you 😂 pluss knowing u having the same illness makes me feel “oh im not the only one” okay lah done rant hahahaha. Love u nisha 💗 & happy women’s day to you and everyone who read this . . . Im in a shade almond!! @srheliana
Dari dulu sis suka tengok vd Nisha bebel2, rasa tertunggu2 new vd... Sis pun ada anxiety and MDD.. bayangkan sekarang 2anak, memang kena survive setiap hari dengan mood kadang ok kadang tak... Makeup2 ni terapi juga, tak adalah bosan sangat..Sis doakan Semoga kita semua sihat selalu, Aamin Ivory @nurliyanarahmat
Im happy to see u now. Much more happy than before. Thanks for sharing pd smua yg tak thu yg tahu psl penyakit ni. Bkn mudah nk lalui sbb kita je yg thu. Alhamdulilah u ada fmily utk support u. Lovee u nisshaa and loveee your sharing. ❤❤🫶🏻🌹Shade skintific -vanilla 001
Thank you for sharing your journey with us Nisha. May you always be surrounded with love and happiness ❤ I really want to try skintific cushion. My shade is 06 Honey 🍯 - @nadiey.h
Hiiii I’m hereee for the monthly video update and also for the skintific giveaway!!! I’m in the shade 04 beige, hopefully I get to winnn this time @h.day.h
I wanted to try cushion foundation but i’m not sure either my shade petal or ivory 🥲 hopefully i can win this. I think petal kot hehe. I wanted to try this so bad 😭 @eriena.s
