I needed this like you would not believe. I was incredibly passive as a kid and still am as an adult. I notice that when my partner is transitioning to a new position, my mindset is to just let them get the position and defend from there instead of using aggression to challenge them and force a scramble. In effect, I have to unlearn 30-odd years of mental conditioning from myself and others. Not an easy task but at least now I have a starting point. Thanks!
Bro, I can relate completely! Learning how and when to apply necessary force is a real struggle for me as well. I've never really fought as a kid and when I had to be aggressive as an adult, I went too far, so those events made me even more passive and submissive, in life in general. That's one of the reasons I started BJJ a week ago, to regain control of my capabilities and stand my ground if necessary. Keep it up!
Adjusting my aggressivness when rolling is actually one of the hardest things to me.. I think I worry too much about hurting my partners or myself when I roll too aggressive I also need to learn how to deal with really aggressive and rough opponents that go really hard, that's when I pull guard a lot of times and try to tire them out before I start my own attacks 😩
when they get aggresive i start to get as well same as you , i always very quiete, very quiete roll with the flow, when they wakeup the demon within .... it turn into mma very fast ..
@@twinsunpredator7998 I’m with you there too lol I match energy almost always but I start out almost timid so if anyone matches my energy it’s usually a slow paced bout. I wish I could dive all in instead of caring too much about my partner lol
@@rkoistheman i reckon we got the right mind set , care about your partner , flow , cause one day , when you won't have to care about your partner , you ll be able to do the move with extreme brutality i think about my hips throw , i have use it on real aggression outside the gym .... control is fundamental , look rda last fight on the weekend . pure control
This is the perfect video at the perfect time for me. I got my blue belt yesterday and my coach has been telling me for a couple weeks now I’m too nice in the gym and I need to be more aggressive or assertive. Thank you for what you do. You’re always a big help.
YES. Been struggling with this lately. I used to be aggressive as a kid, but as I’ve gotten older my passivity is to prevent injuries, both my own and my partners’. I’ve realized that when I roll I wait for my partner to give me an opportunity instead of just taking it. I’ve been building up the mentality of taking instead of waiting. It’s been helpful but the fear of injury is still there. Great video and advice.
I found the book you mentioned, and I will read it when I can. I also have some things I need to work on in life, both for me as me, and me as a future educator of people in special education education. If I ever start jujitsu, I hope it will help.
I play water polo and my biggest struggle is not being aggressive enough. I am planning on take jujitsu lessons to build my confidence with physical contact and bring my aggression to play
Passive blue belt is a real problem I’m dealing with man. I got a tournament in like 3 weeks and I’m trying to get out of this damn rut. I know I need to wake the hell up and get after it.
I remember when I was an early blue belt & the brown belt I was rolling with was especially agressive but not in an unkind way. For instance grabbing my belt & posting up with his forearm in my neck. He taught me two counters to make that position untenable for him & that really impressed me. He was just doing his thing. It made me a better person in there. I realised you can be aggressive & kind at the same time. BTW I have a Tattoo of Zeph Zero's character, Spartan Buddha on my calf. Both sides must be integrated.
You learn this idea pretty well when you compete. I'l roll with alot of people who aren't as good as me, and they'll say, "Hey, I think I did pretty good against you, I almost had you, etc." and I'll often just kinda go with it to be nice and supportive (because I really don't get anything out of smashing people anymore. I'm 150lbs and I can smash most dudes who are bigger than me at this point), but I can definitely tap that competitive part of me in a moment's notice. I wouldn't say I coast anymore, I just emphasize fighting the technique than the actual person when I roll.
I know this is off topic, but can I compliment the sound quality for a second? Seems like the quality sounds better since the last gym rant video you’ve posted.
I went from being the smallest person in the gym and being able to grind into people free of worry as a white belt to a middle-sized blue and purple belt as well as being one of the more experienced people on our mats. I did feel like I was almost being a bully if I was putting too much pressure on people, they were around my size and I was better than them, no need to squish them as well right? So I gradually shifted to more focusing on finding perfect frames on bottom and only using bodyweight on top, and it has made jiu jitsu so much more effortless. Now I can roll with the newer people and totally smother their movement while floating lightly on top of them or sweep them so softly they don't even know what happened. If you have anyone in your gym who's bigger or better than you, go at it! They can take it.
I just got my blue belt, but I had the same issue. I was letting new guys get the better of me. A few months ago I said you know what, I’m going to stop being a B**ch. After that I started winning my rolls and my rolls after getting my blue belt have been some of my best rolls ever.
I have this same problem, when I roll with newer people who aren’t as big strong or experienced I can’t help but take it easy. I know it affects my progress
i always match intensity, when i go against a hobbyist it's of course more flowy, but against a fellow competition guy or a HS wrestler it's fuckin go time lmfao love it
This is my problem. I don’t know why I do it. I am not a small guy and find that a lot of smaller lighter people get the best of me as well. It’s very frustrating and I don’t know if it’s because I started jiujitsu later in life after I’ve calm down over the years or what it is but I’ve also had that feeling of not wanting to “hurt“ someone. But they sure as hell don’t mind putting it on me LOL
Hi Chewy, I have a question. I am new to bjj but i have seen this in my gym and a few videos on here. Guys laughing when they beat new guys/ white belts. The guy on a video on here was laughing so much about beating on new guys. Its hard being new to this as you know, i have never seen you laughing at beating people in any of your videos. It was a purple belt doing situational rolling, he beat the white belt in seconds and then was laughing about it as the white belt walked away. Disrespectful i think.
This was my problem as well since I'm a bigger guy and didn't want to hurt people. Well, I found some guys who train hard that helped me bring it out. To add to what Chewy said, harness it because you're going to need when you get you advanced belt(s)... Stay strong brother!
Same here. I am big and naturally strong. I’m a purple belt but I am happy to hear this out there in the ether because I think about it all the time. I train at a nice guy gym… and I’m older, so not trying to hurt anyone or (more importantly MYSELF) is my top priority. Knowing when to turn it on is hard. The concept of moving with purpose is big too - I still find myself moving to positions around the head to slowly, which gives opp too much time to defend and the sub % drops dramatically.
I’m with Matt. I’m non-aggressive. I started my journey with some bigger than me boys and got comfy being uncomfortable. Now I play mostly defense and or I shut down any opponents attempts. But once in dominant position I struggle with setting of submissions. I’m approaching the blue belt level and this is going to be a problem for me.
Thank you ChewJitsu for addressing this situation a lot of us face. Sometimes we don't want to be "That Guy" you hear people frown upon in the gym as being "Too Aggressive." So I try to make it a point to submit slowly and with absolute control to prove to my training partner I'm not trying to hurt them, and that I submitted them with technique and gave them a good amount of time to break out of the submission. No one wants to be the bad guy in the gym, so thank you for addressing this for the rest of us having this problem, so we can try to find our balance✌
Man you should hear me on the mats, hit a submission? Profusely saying sorry. Apply some shoulder pressure to pass guard? Whispering sorry constantly. Tonight I was knee'd in the face and spat out a BIG pile of blood and moments later said sorry for ripping a guillotine on. I just like, want to be competitive but am so fearful of people thinking im an asshole.
I'm a pretty big guy. 6'1" and float around 295lb. I have had at least four people in the last month Yell me I am to nice while rolling! This is a mental battle for sure. Slowly I have been overcoming this. It is totally OK to use this side of you rolling! Hang in there and keep at it! You and your traing partners are there to train for the same reasons! Keep that in mind.
Great point. Find the people that want to go hard. And no, the dude/chick that is 100 pounds lighter than someone massive, doesn’t want to go hard. That old dude that has 30 years on someone, doesn’t want to go hard. Go hard against people that want to and are capable of going hard. There is a difference between being aggressive and going hard, and rolling with no regard to the consequences to your partners’ bodies of being aggressive.
If the term aggressive gives you the image of someone going wild and being rough and acting like a UFC/Sponsorship contract is on the line, then think of it as being proactive and initiating your techniques and playing your game vs being reactive and defensive the entire time. This may help put you in the right mindset so that you can improve in your technical skills and more easily transition to competition mode.
Honestly this is something I've had to work hard on. I like to play chill and technical, and my coach pushed me to continue that but ALSO fight for every point, position, submission, etc. It's been cool because I knew I could go from 0-70%, now I know I can go from 0-110% and still be technical. Learning to match intensity is a cool part of the game.
I had genuine aggression and anger issues as a young man. Therapy, meditation, and martial arts saved me from myself... The analogy I like to use is now I see my inner demon as on a chain... Tamed and only allowed to act when I will it so. My rage never left me, I simply tamed it to be a tool, vs. letting it make me a monster. This took years... I hope this gives someone inspiration to develop self control and accept their lower nature as an aspect of their human journey 🙏🏼
@@Y0kzuna At 41, happily married, great kids, home owner, excellent career, half way through my blue belt in bjj, holding black and brown belts in several other arts... What's cringe about the TRUTH? The mats and results don't lie... cringe indeed... Work on yourself more kiddo, and sh*t talk others less... Best of luck in life. If I can make it, anyone can...
I've been meditating for a while and that's not how it feels like for me at all. It's more like anger and aggression being uprooted. Made void. Trying to be aggressive on command feels contrived. I get angry when something doesn't go my way of course, I'm not an arhat, but not for long enough to actually carry it on the matts. Like, I'd actually have to be slighted and then go fight my opponent in the competition 10 seconds afterwards for that to work.
i'm not a blue belt yet. but i feel that way too. i deal with it differently, tho. i just dont mind losing in training. kinda. sometimes my partner is spazzing and wins because of that. but i feel that is better for me to be in that calm state when im rolling, because i have to rely even more on technique to get that sweet sweet win. in the long term, losing can be very productive. and also... i gas out quickly if i dont do that lol but i agree that when the short term is more important, aggressiveness is needed.
I have this problem. I am always way too passive and worried that I may hurt someone and don't commit to my moves sometimes. I will definitely continue to work on this. Thanks for the video
One of your best videos and very profound. I'm a history nerd also and recommend looking into the "American Battlefield Trust". Great organization that preserves history.
Love the idea. I’ve had a few times when my inner aggression makes it’s way onto the mat and it’s helped me push boundaries of what I can do. There are times though I am hesitant to release this aggression for fear I will go past what I can control.
I sometimes go aggressively, sometimes I take it very easy and play passively. It depends on how tired/worn out I am and who I'm going against. That said, given the right circumstances the switch almost flips automatically. Nothing gets me moving as much as that new guy I've been taking it easy on elbowing me in the face.
I like to avoid the term "aggression" because that is consistent with recklessness -- or an extreme and unjustifiable imposition of risk of harm. Instead, I like to think in terms of a reluctance to try to "impose one's will" on another person. This reluctance might be traced to risk aversion but it ultimately becomes self-defeating. The risk aversion goes like this: If I go on the attack (e.g., try a sweep, commit to a lapel grip, etc. etc.), then I may fail to secure the grip or position, or I may get hurt when the other person reacts, or I might hurt the other person. The result is that the other person, who throws caution to the wind, ends up securing their grip or sweep. Although the risks identified by your risk-averse side are all real, it's important to remember that, as long as you're still doing jiu jitsu, they don't go away. It is an illusion to think otherwise. So might as well try to impose your will.
I’ve been away from BJJ for a year and Don’t miss 225lb plus guys jump on me and hurting me and then I have to go to work and do physical labor while miserable from physical pain that was not necessary
I'm entering week 3 in BJJ and my aggressive side Is dormant for sure. I get told "good, but be more aggressive". I don't want to be the dumb white belt that hurts a training partner or myself.
Wow That was the most though provoking video on RU-vid. I am prety much that blue belt but I never thought of asking that question. Thank you for the video
For me my issue is because I have very bad anger issues and certain sadistic natures that I don’t show on my exterior and I’ve worked on them a lot, but when I’m rolling that beast just hides inside me but sometimes I just have this trigger for example someone scratches my face I just turn into my full potential and I am just having difficulty turning that on and off because I’m subconsciously scared of letting that very prominent evil in me out again.
For me I just roll and have fun, I don’t care either it’s gi or no gi I like it both, in rolling I don’t care If I’m defending or attacking, as long I’m having fun in my jiujitsu class 😎
Btw this Matt guy is extremely similar to myself. As a white belt, the higher belts would completely smash me. I told myself I wouldn’t be like that when I was in that position. As a third degree blue, sometimes I get beat by lower belts because I am being too nice. I need to remember that aggression and remember that it’s alright to use it.
Hey Chewy Started bjj , 3 years ago , i remember once , i wrote a comment and ask to shave your beard and you did it and it was awkward !! getting older Chewy m you start to have more white hair so do i , peace
I think it's the aggressive side that fueled my motivation to face my fears and push my limits. I'm not a very aggressive person, quite the opposite, but it has helped me grow and get to know myself better. I used to really struggle with people being in my space, and also being very claustrophobic. 3 years later, blue belt.
Chewy as a newly promoted blue I just said last night I think I’m going the wrong direction, I’m gonna give this a shot and see how it goes cause i too have been beaten or should have gotten the better of someone and couldn’t
Love this! Thanks for sharing…. I’m like the guy from your vid… only I struggle with using assertiveness cuz I’m half the size of most of my partners and I’m afraid that if I get too rough, or simply roll like they roll with me, it’ll come back to bite me. I have been learning tho that I’ve got to aggressively take steps to get on top first or I just get smashed the whole time. It’s a process:)
As a WB under one year, I’ve assume the calm “monk like” demeanour was part of the point? But I relate to this video a lot! As a 36 year old, I definitely find that young 20 year olds are full of this and you can’t just let them handle you. Thanks for this, and all your videos!
To piggyback off of this I feel like I’m somewhere in the same space. I was an aggressive wrestler white belt and took a few years away came back a little older and a little more out of shape and as a blue belt now, I find myself going too light out of fear of injury and trying to keep it smooth.
This is so helpful to watch. Seeing that others have the same issue is also pretty empowering. I'm a white belt and I got pummeled all through practice yesterday. But I feel as though I gave up opportunities because I didn't want to do something wrong and hurt anyone. I've really only been able to get aggressive when I'm angry, which rarely happens. I'll be spending more time trying to focus on relaxed assertiveness to improve my mental game.
Thank you for making this video… this is my problem in training… I train without being aggressive…… By aggressive I mean the intensity is mediocre. It really became a problem when I signed up for a tournament and in the match I just could not get my aggressive side up… I wanted to continue rolling at that mediocre pace…. I suppose there is no other way to become better than actually doing it in practice… I guess I have to find training partners who are ok being aggressive with
That was powerful. This was such great information. I just had my best tournament experience so far this weekend, finally tapping into my aggressive side. I still lost, I made some mistakes but I was pushing the pace and had a clear and driven mindset. I couldn’t be happier because that’s been my biggest shortcoming with competition.
I think the "too aggressive" label is usually on people who substitute gooning for their lack of skill. I've never had more then a bruise getting mangled by higher belts, in contrast I remember a new guy 20yrs younger and 10lbs heavier within 10 seconds hit me in both eyes and tap because he also sprained his own toe..
There's people you roll hard with and people you don't. Then there's people you talk to before the slap bump to see where you're at. If you don't want the roll intensity to go up, don't make it go up. If you want to just flow, talk about it before the slap bump. But never feel bad that you fought to overcome someone's resistance in a fighting sport. Ego has hurt more people in BJJ than everything else combined. Unless you're doing something obviously crappy or dangerous both you and your partner can always tap and start over.
Chewy knows best. I’m athletic as shit, strong, wrestling background and extremely passive. I’ve noticed more and more how much pressure I let off in the room and it’s always translated into competition both wrestling and Jiujitsu. I know I can. But it’s sleepy 😂
It's hard to discern the difference between disengaging one's aggression vs remaining calm and focused in intense situations. This is why we roll, to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's like learning to take your foot off the gas in a muscle car vs trading in the muscle car and buying a prius because you can't stop getting speeding tickets. Harnessed aggression requires attention and restraint... It requires effort. It requires being diligent, disciplined, and being alert/engaged. It requires balance. And balance requires constant micro-adjustments... Such is life.
Love this video but sadly for me BJJ has become the 1 sport that just doesn't come easy for me and by easy I don't mean simple I'm just not getting it im 45 and started this back in late August and I try to go 2-3 times a week and when I spar I'm still very timid and I'm not a timid person it's that I'm just not able to go with any sort of confidence. The fact that BJJ is hard and humbling is an aspect that I love and keeps driving me forward but the fact that I'm so uncomfortable and lack confidence is what troubles me. Any tips or words of wisdom lol for someone who wants to succeed and loves the work that's involved in the training but can't seem to find himself on the mat .
I think it's also worth pointing out that for a newer person, they probably aren't confident in their ability to be aggressive and also safe and in control, especially if they've experienced rolls with other new people who are aggressive and feel unsafe.
Interesting video, I'm the same way...I'm too chill hahaha I feel like I'm afraid to hurt people. I don't mind when people fuck me up though, I tell them I'm not in any pain though.
There is this guy in our gym where he always rolls so lightly, but when we saw him in competition, the dude was an outright animal and simply mauled all his opponents (winning gold). So guess he was saving all his aggression for battle. He said rolling lightly makes him more technical.
Brand new white belt here 👋 I have only had 1 class so far and instantly found this... my first day I didn't know anybody at the gym so I was partnered with the other person who was left out. She was about 120lbs max, and just as inexperienced as me. I felt terrible practicing with her because I didn't know how hard to go, but I was also just faking it and letting her pass positions with no resistance, which isn't going to help her much in the long run.
If you are not the finest guy in the game, certainly you are one of them! Thank you so much for your vídeos, and PLEASE keep up this beautiful work Chew!
Being a beginner to jujitsu, and also being a bigger guy weighting in at about 260, I’ve always been very cautious of my weight around people. I’m always told to use it to my advantage but just rolling with the guys in my group I always feel like I’m gonna hurt them by sitting on them or putting my whole body weight on them especially when I’m rolling it a guy half my size, have you had run into this kind of issue before with some of your students and any advice you could give a newbie that’s just really in it for the fun of it
This is 100% me. I'm a 48yo blue belt and I have an aggression problem - I don't have any. I'm incredibly conflict averse. When I go hard at people bigger or better than me, I just seem to spend more energy getting tapped out. But I also don't want to beat up on the people I should be beating.
