This is the best statement !! Every Dad should talk about his daughters like this, because honestly it is one thing to care about your daughters so much that you want to protect them from any guy that might want to harm them, but actually trusting them and also respecting their descisions and judgement enough to let them date whomever they choose is the best way to show them the love and appreciation you feel toward them !! Just amazing !!!
Its also the best way to have her heart broken. A lot of people don't make smart decisions when it comes to relationships, especially when they are young. Plenty of people stay in abusive or unhealthy relationships because they are too attached to the other person and can't see how bad the relationship is for them. And a lot of women don't expect men to treat them the way they should so letting them make such important decisions that can affect their entire life at such a young age, on their own, is beyond idiotic. If you have a daughter one day and she gets pregnant, gets an STD, has her heart broken, is abused etc. you will realise how wrong you are.
NathanEpic0123 That is the stupidest thing to say. A broken heart is a normal part of growing up. As for staying in abusive relationships, getting pregnant and getting stds, that's what you get with the shotgun approach. Raise your kids to know what's right and what's wrong and they'll come see you if they have questions or problems, but raise them to do what you say when you say under threats of punishment and they'll go wild when they hit puberty.
Ireallyreally Hategoogle Just because its a normal part of growing up, doesn't mean it has to be. If you are okay with your daughters heart being broken then you are a horrible parent. I have had my heart broken numerous times already in my 19 years and the emotional scars are still there. While my life may have improved because of it, It was horrible and I would do anything possible to protect others from that same pain. You can protect them and keep them safe. There isn't a lot you can do about a broken heart as that will always happen like when someone they like doesn't like them. However that is only minor. You can stop them from entering a relationship until they are 100% sure it will last forever. That way they don't go through a devastating breakup. Or teach them proper mediation skills so they can sort out issues in relationships. While you can't completely prevent broken hearts you can limit them. And raising kids right doesn't guarantee they won't do any of the above things. Assuming they will come to you when they have problems is stupid. They might, but there is no guarantee they will every time. I'm not saying we shouldn't teach kids right from wrong, but that isn't enough to protect them on its own. Peer pressure, persuasion and influence and very strong in teen years and even among adults. If you want them to be safe you need to teach them right from wrong, as well as keeping a close eye on them and stepping in when necessary. Besides, exactly would your kid coming and talking to you help if they are already in an abusive relationship and have suffered, or if they are already pregnant. It won't. You can teach them to avoid these situations but again, that alone doesn't guarantee safety. You need to intervene when necessary and if you are actually capable of having a mature adult conversation with your teens they will understand why you did what you did and will thank you for it.
NathanEpic0123 "You can protect them and keep them safe." No you can't, you can try but you'll fail because life will happen. "You can stop them from entering a relationship until they are 100% sure it will last forever." Once again, no you can't, unless you lock them up for life. You're 19 so that may be difficult for you to hear, but there is no such thing as "forever". That's a fairytale ending, not reality. "teach them proper mediation skills so they can sort out issues in relationships." Now that is a great way to help you kids. "Peer pressure, persuasion and influence and very strong in teen years and even among adults." Yes, there are no guarantees, it's called living. The best protection from peer pressure, persuasion and influence is self-esteem, self-respect and good influences. The "Daddy will protect you." mentality does not foster these. As for keeping a close eye and stepping in, you won't see anything if your teens fear disappointing you or fear punishment. Again, there are no guarantees in life, but if your kids know they can talk to you and you can have an adult conversation with them, they'll tell you if something is wrong and you can teach them that an abusive relationship is wrong. You have to equip your kids to deal with life and be there when ever they need you. Sheltering them will just make them dependent and that leads to abusive relationships. Love your kids and be a decent person and that will make you a good influence to counter all the negative influences they'll be subjected to.
What a refreshing, modern, level-headed attitude. Raise your daughters right, teach them to use good judgment, instill confidence, and they'll attract the right guys. Don't treat your daughters like princesses locked in a tower.
When I read the title of this video, I thought he'd be yet another father who overreacts about their daughters dating. To my surprise, he did the complete opposite. You rock, Harry! More fathers (and mothers) need to raise their daughters to have good enough judgment to attract good quality guys. Enough of this stupid shotgun thing, we need more fathers who trust their daughters and raise them to have good judgment when it comes to guys.
Until their daughter is found murdered! Ok I escalated I know, but men have a lot better understanding of another's mans motivations - same with women! Young girls often are naive and go for the wrong guys, nothing wrong with dad stepping in!
firewater1083 I will agree with you that men know men, and women know women, but that's yet another reason for parents to raise their daughters knowing self defense.
heidos7 I know, but the majority of teenagers (I would say 75-95%) do at least one of those things. Here is a study on teenage sexual behaviour: www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html And two on underage drinking: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/special-populations-co-occurring-disorders/underage-drinking www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/special-populations-co-occurring-disorders/college-drinking Last I checked the legal age for consuming alcohol in America was 21 yet by the time they turn 21 over two thirds of people have already consumed alcohol. And the fact that condom use is so common is disgusting. Not to mention the level of drinking at teen parties, rapes and other forms of idiotic behaviour. Most teenagers aren't role models or upstanding citizens.
heidos7 Yes but not all of them. As stated about two-thirds of teens do something bad. What's to say his daughters, or yours one day are not part of the two-thirds that make mistakes. That's why trusting them is bad. You have zero guarantee that your daughter will make smart decisions even if you have taught her them her entire life. With peer pressure and social influence even the smartest can be led astray.
NathanEpic0123 I'm not a parent but from what I've heard, telling your kids what to do and what not to do only makes things worse, specifically at that age. There needs to be discipline yes and teach your kids right from wrong, but at a certain point you have to let them get out there and make their own mistakes. How else are they supposed to learn?
I would say this guy is a horrible dad and doesn't know shit. Having faith in a teenager of any gender is ridiculous, and having faith that his daughters will make smart decisions when it comes to men is asking for trouble.
Paul Fatosin Yes, cause adults are mature and make smart decisions. [Sarcasm] If adults use drugs, commit crimes, drink and drive and engage in reckless, dangerous and sometimes illegal activities, I think its safe to assume that even adults shouldn't be trusted to make smart decisions.
NathanEpic0123 Not every adult or teen makes mad decisions. You really shouldn't look at people and wonder if they're trust worthy just by what they are (Adult, teen, ect.) instead you should look at who they are and the choices they make. There are millions of good people in the world if you don't focus on only the negative.
Ashley Hart I never said every adult or teen makes bad decisions. But seeing how 90% of the population has made a stupid decision at some point in their life, that the majority of teenagers are doing stupid things, and that adults are constantly in the news for bad or stupid behaviour, you can't blame someone for looking at a teen or adult and assuming these things. Just like you can't blame someone for looking at a nun and assuming they are like mother Theresa, or assuming a gang member is a criminal. You can't fully review something until you have looked at every aspect of it, but you can certainly have first impressions. A simple look at your average adult will show you clearly a lack of morals, values, common sense, logic and intelligence. All of which can be remedied, but are not. Millions of good people in the world. Explain to me how one of the largest countries in the world is full of misogyny and mistreatment of woman. Explain to me how an entire country is violating nearly every human right possible yet their leaders are still on the face of this earth. Explain to me how 100 girls can go missing in Africa and months later still be missing. Explain to me how a terrorist group can rampage through two countries killing and raping without interference from the outside world. If there are so many good people, why are so many bad things happening unopposed. A correct assertion is that there are millions upon millions of bad people, and a handful of good people.
NathanEpic0123 There ARE millions of Good people. There are also millions of bad people. If you haven't noticed, there's over 7 billion people on earth. There's more than just a handful of good people if you really put in the effort to get to know people without judging them and assuming things by first meeting them. Sure, you can have first impressions and yes some people you can look at and assume those things about them, but you can never be 100% sure. I know a few adults that I've been introduced to that I now consider family that I thought wrongly about at first until I got to know them. Also, Everyone makes a stupid decision in their life. A mistake. It's called being human. Nobody is a perfect. And yes of I can't blame someone for looking at someone else and assuming things. I suppose you're not an "average adult"? I love how you talk about this average adult as if you think you are above them. I mean, you do obviously have common sense, logic and intelligence but looking down on people for not having some of those things is really shallow. Remember, you can look at a man who looks messy and lazy and he may be one of the most itelligant people you can meet. A simple look at someone never clearly show anything.
If you think about it, he's pretty much saying that to question your daughter's choice in companions is to doubt your methods of raising her. ..Shit this just got deep.
It's so refreshing to see such a thoughtful response to his daughters' dating! Kudos, HCJr! Your daughters are truly blessed and highly favored to have such an incredible Dad who trusts their good judgment.
This is sooooooooooo real. Thank you Harry, girls can use their judgement and attract the right men so father's, brothers, grandpa's, uncles, etc don't have to be on guard all day. It's up to us after a certain point you know!
My dad has always had the attitude 'it's your business' when it comes to me dating because he trusts me to make good judgements. And if I don't, it's a mistake that I will learn from, and it doesn't make me a bad person or mean I'm broken. My family will just assume that whatever guy I bring home is great before they even meet him, because I obviously think they're great. I can imagine if my dad was super protective and feeling like he needed to take charge of my love life I would have totally rebelled.
Since people should only have sex with one person in their life and women specifically should be treated with the utmost respect, any mistake that you make through dating could very well mean you are broken, be it losing your virginity to the wrong guy, getting an STD, being abused. Trusting people and letting them learn from their mistakes is ridiculous. Its why soldiers for centuries have gone through extensive training, cause a mistake in combat could not only mean their death, but the deaths of others. And the best soldiers were the ones that were drilled constantly, educated day after day, and had their decision making skills perfected. If humanity had just started that would be an acceptable approach, but humans have been around for thousands of years and have made every mistake possible. So to make the same mistakes now and say you have to learn from them afterwards is stupid. Learn before hand. Some caveman probably stuck his hand in a fire thousands of year ago and it hurt. He didn't have anyone to learn from so he has an excuse. We live in an age where as stated every mistake has been made, and we have an entire history's information at our fingertips. People shouldn't be touching fire and realising it hurts nowadays. They should know well before because people have realised that before and gave us the information to protect ourselves. And plenty of mistakes have been made in relationships and we have the information to prevent ourselves making the same mistakes. So saying you need to learn after you have made the mistake is short sighted. As for your dad, if he truly cared he wouldn't be risking his daughter being hurt. If you truly love someone, you never want them to be hurt, physically or emotionally. You never want them to be scared or in pain. So you do everything under the sun to protect them. And if you don't, it says a lot.
NathanEpic0123 Read the first sentence of your comment and didn't read any further - you do not know me or my opinions at all, that is extremely evident from just that small bit of information I unfortunately got from you.
anditspaganpoetry I stated my opinions, some of which pertained to the respectful treatment of women. You disagreed with "every single thing you've said". Therefore we can infer from that that you don't think women should be treated with respect. We can also infer that you think we should trust people, let people make mistakes and suffer pain. Guess what moron, I do know your opinions. Because you have stated them. That is what this whole conversation is about, opinions. And by disagreeing with mine you are making it clear what yours are. Can I ask one question? Did you fail primary school?
NathanEpic0123 I'm a woman, and a feminist. Still didn't read more than your first sentence. No idea how you got the idea that those are my values from what I said - not that I need to explain that to you.
Spend more time teaching your daughters and children in general to have good judgement and be a good person; teach your daughters especially to have enough self esteem to choose good guys and get away from the bad - teach them that they deserve better. The fact that a guy said it makes it even more valuable!
I do too, but I don't know any of his daughters personally. His family has been known to come see the school musicals and stuff like that, so that's really cool.
So I came to this video after watching his daughters' interview Cameron Dallas on Harry but the comments are disabled on that video so I'm just going to say here, his daughters are absolutely gorgeous! I loved his answer to this question though and based on the other video, I wouldn't doubt that all three definitely have a good head on their shoulders!
Fathers want their daughters to be wise in their choice of good men, but most fathers do not spend the time with their daughters to teach them what a good man actually looks like and how to interact with them appropriately. A hands off approach from a father, to me, seems very lazy and disrespectful towards a daughter, unless that father has actually put in the "Man" hours to teach their daughter whom to look for and whom to avoid. This stands true and strong for sons and mothers as well; no sexist stereotypes here. A 50% + of divorce in the US, teen pregnancies above and he roof; this is due to laziness and neglect on parents towards their children. Hopefully this guy put in the time.
***** You are partly right, but then there are children who do just to opposite thing, not due to the laziness of their parents. Hopefully you don't think only Mom's can talk to sons and fathers to daughters. Also, there are families where several children are respectful and very decent, and one will go the other direction, so parents are not all the cause of what their children, whether it is good or bad. Something else that hasn't been brought up is there is evidence that was brought out several years ago, that young girls were actually participating in sex acts on some school busses. Why? Because they wanted the boys to like them, and the boys wanted what they wanted. What goes on even in grade school is mind boggling. There was a 7 year old in one of the schools here, who's "boyfriend" decided it was ok to punch her, and do indian burns on her arms, until the day she hauled off and gave him some of his own medicine. She isn't very big, but she was done with it all. Then he started calling her a bitch. That stopped when the Principle was made aware of what had happened. She never got in trouble for hitting him either, even though the school has a no hitting policy. I guess the school decided not to open that can of worms. Afterall, it was happening on their playground.
I love Harry! I never let my parents know if I was dating a boy. Lol was a Tom Boy, so I was always around boys, they just didn't know if I was dating one of them. And then all through High school I didn't date at all. Didn't have the time. =)
Well All grown women were once upon a time teenage girls and not all of us acted like Ally Cats in heat just like not all men that were teenage boys acted like dogs and Frat boys. The point he is making is to instill confidence and self worth in a teenage person so they don't get caught up in the feelings of a relationship. Boys are just as bad when it comes to getting caught up in "feelings", but you need to raise them that its more than about the "feeling. My parents gave my sister and I the speech every year, every dance, nearly every outing that we had with our friends we had no desire to even tread in that territory; and yeah my parents trusted us and we did right by them.
Cantetinza17 There is so much wrong with your comment I don't know where to start. While its true not all women acted like "Ally cats in heat" the majority of people as teenagers make mistakes and some of those affect their entire lives. Again there are some who didn't make mistakes but there are also those that have STD's, or had a child in high school and so on. They may be "grown women" now but they are paying for mistakes they made earlier. Feelings? What the flipping fuck do you think relationships are about? Banging each others brains out! If that's the case put a bullet in your head and save me the trouble. The most important part of a relationship is feelings. Being loved, developing an emotional connection, being with that one special person. It has everything to do with feelings. Teaching kids to not get caught up in feelings is going to lead to one night stands, sluts and whores, and an entire fucked up generation.
Trust me I know my friends yes plural were teen moms, so get off your soap box. I think you read my comment wrong and that is your issue and not mind. I think you need to take control of your own feelings. My parents taught me well about feelings and yes not being an Ally Cat. I was not one of those teens that got all caught up in it. My parents spoke to us so darn much I had no desire to even venture there. Not all kids get that. Not to mention some kids are going to do what they want. I don't know what whore hurt your feelings, but that wasn't me. You need to get your life and stop being sensitive cause whatever you getting all upity about is inaccurate.
He's a total fraud. He pretends to come from New Orleans, but he's a native of Weston, CT, where he attended public school from 1970-1982. He's pictured in all the Weston Public School yearbooks for that time. Boo Sony Phony!
