Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before RU-vid by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps: 00:00 What We Get Wrong About Happiness 05:23 Current State of Modern Happiness 14:02 Why Faith is Crucial to Happiness 20:05 The Importance of Family & Friends 27:01 Finding Purpose in Your Work 35:43 How to Manage Your Desires 43:49 The Pleasure of Reliving Memories 51:38 Optimising for Satisfaction 1:01:48 Being Seduced By the 4 Idols 1:10:59 Why Meaning Impacts Happiness 1:23:16 Meaningful Parenting in a Comfortable World 1:26:37 Differences Between Happiness & Unhappiness 1:30:59 Why Anxiety Has Become Common 1:35:25 The Modern Evolution of Envy 1:41:25 Understand the Complex Human Experience 1:44:07 Where to Find Arthur
Good and bad episode, which makes me sad and I have a lot to say: I always find it amazing how Arthur Brooks hits the very center of the bullseye of the topic that is closest to my heart. And he is so polished with the right words and definitions. I'm consistently amazed... BUT ultimately his insight isn't much of a life preserver if your life isn't already successful. Listening to Arthur is more like gaining an academic understanding of life & happiness, not an understanding of how to live. Out of "faith, family, friends, and work" I have faith, but making the other 3 healthier and thriving is the tragic odyssey of my life. I feel like I'm going to war every single day to get my life nutrients, but that day doesn't feel like it will come and I'm likely to starve. Understanding your 'idols' and 'crossing off political opinions from a list' just doesn't cut it, Arthur. The world is competitive, we're all competing for the same jobs and we all want real connection from each other. It's HARD. There's also less connection available to go around because we're also competing with technology for people's time and attention. I feel MW is difficult to listen to because I'm a struggling dude and every guru is so successful in life nutrients. Where's the guests where things didn't work out so perfectly in the end? Where's the guests where they actually know male (or female) relatives or coworkers that are lonely out of their minds with no obvious problem to point a finger at? I'm dead serious here. If you want to keep calling the show "Modern" wisdom then I think you need to have people who actually live in the modern world without being insulated from the unique features of it. People who don't themselves have as large of a cushion of life nutrients, or who have close relations to someone without that cushion.
I agree with all your points . The cushion of family and being loved properly by your parents I think is the biggest factor towards increased happiness ability. People who say “money doesn’t matter so much “- that’s ridiculous . They have never been truly poor. The comfort of money can help a great amount when you have no comfort from family .
@@Samantha-bq8bo The people who say that "money doesn't matter" are oftentimes people who did nothing else besides building wealth and when they reached that goal, it was empty and they felt just as lonely and shitty as they did before. There is an amount of money where, after you reach that amount, your life doesn't become better. You just get more things. If you have no money at all and can't pay rent and can't eat... well, that is the other side of the coin. Point being: Money is not the answer for EVERYTHING. Once you get comfortable with money, you'll know what they're on about.
This is the definition of "misery loves company". Also kind of sounds like you atribute all your problems to the eternal world and never yourself. I may be misinterpreting what you said and I don't know you, obviously, so please take this with a grain of salt.
@@Darko1.0 I'm interested in interviews that I can relate to and is applicable to me. The kind of content would speak to an important group of people in the modern world. I attribute my problems to myself. And so do other groups of people in the audience whose lives I don't relate as well to. What you said was off base. We're all trying to not feel lost and find our purpose. Don't try to squeeze me and the group I represent out of the conversation.
I feel the same. I have learnt a lot listening to these conversations but many times I feel totally disengaged, listening to people Who live in a different world than mine.
Anyone else feel like Chris is listening to their thoughts and just puts out episodes precisely when you need them? Looking forward to this episode, really enjoy some Arthur Brooks
I swear to you, I thought to myself ‘I feel directionless, I don’t know what my next step is gonna be for me (career wise; as I work for minimum wage atm and need to escape that). Then I go on my phone and this is the video I see at the top of my feed! 😮. I also genuinely just finished a clip from JRE featuring Howard bloom and he was explaining how ‘everything is connected’. So ….. yea 😶
I was having a conversation with my brother 5 minutes before this episode was released, about him having the ability to make small changes to have a high impact on improving his life.
One minute into this video and it's already one of the most important, profound things you could hear, happiness is not a destination it's a direction 👍🏻
I agree with mostly everything. But many times people don't come from a good family and for them it's very hard to understand how a family environment is important. It is my case, and it's a big turn you have to make on your head to start believing that family is a good thing after you spend 20+ years in a bad family environment. The nurture part is very defining on those aspects and it's a chain effect. If we have good families it's more likely that in the future the next generation would like to keep it that way. But it's not what I see happening, the future looks grim in this aspect.
I enjoyed it too, although I think I will pass on the suggestion of taking a 2.30am walk alone without my phone. 😂 But definitely some good take aways on the whole.
Your perspective on family is both insightful and deeply personal. For those who haven't experienced a positive family environment, understanding and valuing familial bonds can be a significant mental shift. The cycle of dysfunction can indeed seem hard to break, but recognizing this challenge is the first step towards change. Creating a better future for the next generation starts with redefining our own understanding and experience of family. Your story emphasizes the importance of breaking these cycles and striving for healthier relationships, even when it seems difficult.
None of that matters, the reality of things is that you are the person in control, create your family and put the effort into making the change in your generation, otherwise, nothing anyone else does matters
My two points in my life where I was experiencing depression was when I'd invested and sacrificed a lot to be very good at something I was very passionate about and nobody was hiring me to do it.
Arthur looks very healthy and energetic, especially if he's 60! Inspiring, and does make what he's saying seem more worth listening to - he walks the talk.
Hey Chris just started listening to your podcasts loving your work. getting a lot from them. But this one with Arthur Brooks just blew me away his energy enthusiasm I just couldn’t get enough. Thank you both
There are three macro trends that have brought us here. 1. The long march of the 1960s Boomer “counter culture”. 2. Globalization. 3. Tech. Silicon Valley is the nexus where all three meet. Anyone who is not actively fighting to roll back the first two and approach the third with the question “what’s best for humans?” is not worth listening to, and is usually obfuscating and gaslighting. Globalization has been an utter disaster for Western economies, which have been limping on life support since 2008 with low growth due to massive trade deficits and open borders, while the cultural revolution has destroyed the fabric of society that used to provide support in difficult times. Tech is neither good nor bad inherently, but those in positions of responsibility have been flailing to adjust to it, when they’re not trying to harness it for Orwellian oppression. But no, kids aren’t depressed because of social media. They’re depressed because they have no economic future, and their minds and relationships have been destroyed by cultural insanity. Social media, drugs, games, ‘corn’ and so on are what people fall into when they have nothing else.
Your analysis of these macro trends and their impact on society is thought-provoking. The convergence of counterculture, globalization, and technology indeed shapes our modern world in profound ways. While each of these trends has potential benefits, their combined effect can also exacerbate economic and social challenges. Your call to critically evaluate and address these issues with a human-centric approach is crucial. It’s important to foster a balanced perspective that recognizes the complexities and strives for solutions that enhance human well-being amidst these ongoing transformations.
This about happiness reminds me of a podcast with David and Huberman. When its mention that in life need to have friction to be better and happy overall.
What if your family hurts you and you’ve tried many times to make it work . But your parents are in the age group of judgement and sometimes coldness . It is a huge loss towards happiness not having family. But you have to leave the situation to stop being set back emotionally. The other note is .. if you’ve lived in poverty success would give you comfort and calmness . It’s just balance . When you’ve struggled forever you don’t really need the struggle to keep going ..the fear keeps you going lol
"If you get married and have kids you WILL be happier. I have the data." What he misses here is that it's not really anti-marriage rhetoric or philosophy that's stopping people from having kids, it's something way deeper. Most guys hypothetically want to have a wife and kids, but solitary life is becoming way too comfortable with all the technology we have now. Both men and women's standards are going up, on top of hypergamy and the lack of social pressure to settle down. We all know the usual incel spiel, but what all of this ultimately means is that even if a dude is able to start attracting women, there's little incentive NOT to just run through them. I'm seeing early 20's girls saying they HAVE to date guys in their late 30's or older to find someone who's even remotely interested in settling down. I feel like that wasn't around 10 years ago. And if you're a woman over say 32, what guy given the choice would risk a geriatric pregnancy? It's really sad and messed up and I think it will be the downfall of our species. I wonder if creatures like us have evolved before on Earth, but after a few millennia they just download themselves into quantum foam or something and they vanish from the fossil record.
Marriage and kids are definitely NOT for everyone. Indeed, as you said, going single is becoming quite viable as a strategy (or at least not getting married/having kids), as it lets you save up money much more easily, and have a chance to secure a decent retirement. Otherwise, just the freedom to live as you please is quite attractive, as is the peace of mind that solitude offers. With multiplayer games about, and things like Discord, it's easier than ever to enjoy a "night with friends" from the comfort of your own home. And, for anyone not inherently attractive/charming, dating can be tough work, and often not really worth the hassle.
@@TheFuzzicianexactly what he said. You have to actively go against the animal brain, in order to achieve happiness. All of the things you said about going the easy route is what is keeping everyone so unhappy.
I know 32 is considered geriatric, but I think as long as they are healthy, they do just fine. my mom had me at 37, and my older sister had kids at 37 and 39, both healthy... it is true that health issues are more and more common though. the point of his 3 questions was to really narrow in on what you're here for presently. I doubt many would say, eh I just wanna play video games and watch porn... or would they? I don't know I'm out of touch with the younger generations to some extent. many of the new kids at my company start talking immediately about gender... and I feel like that's not that important. Well the egyptians were certainly advanced... now they are foam... I like it.
@@JSiracusan unfortunately statistics would prove otherwise. The rate of problems with pregnancy go up significantly. Not to mention problems with the mother, but malformations with the children as well.
I know what the stats say. However, living life in accordance with stats is severely limiting. Why would anyone get married? Given 50/50 outcome?. And there are things you can do to limit risk in marriage... no guarantees... and things you can do to limit risk in having children. And physical health of the parents is a huge one. Hopefully you see what I'm saying... generally yes, specifically, not necessarily.@frontierlandfrank5314 @@frontierlandfrank5314
I liked the bit about distilling our personal meaning to its purest form- and questioning what is worth dying for? That was quite useful. Arthur does seem to push his beliefs on Chris, particularly with marriage and faith/spirituality. Sure, the research might say some good stuff about it, but its your adherance to the credibily of the research that makes it a self-furfilling prophecy for you. Lets keep it clear here: the value in relationships is connection, and the value of faith/spiritual beliefs is in transcendence. It seems Arthur has found himself in the position of directing people how to improve their lives and this extends to how he directs Chris. He is obviously very self aware-and states and overattachment to his own beliefs. 😊 Some great things to think about from this episode.
Arthur probably believes and has accepted catholism because it’s his wife’s belief and that is Intertwined with family which is a beautiful and feels so good when you know there is always someone there to catch you. That’s what a religious community can give you. Boundaries and love and everyone following the same rules of loving kindness feels so good. So he has accepted those rules and it works for him. His needs are met and he is happy and supported and loved. Connect to source in the way that feels right for you. Hopefully community and connection if you meet the right partner will come and it could be beautiful too for all. Like he’s says stop chasing the useless crap that will never fulfill your souls and heart. Love is the answer. I’m not catholic, I’m just connected to source, my husband is Muslim tough and I see how lovely that community is. But I don’t full believe in all of it so I cannot submit to it. Since lots of religions have a tendency to reject gay people, I don’t like that. Love is love! ❤️
What I got from this episode is that Happiness is not a thing; it is an overall direction in your life. Your overall happiness is about your connections with other human beings. It is about the quality of your connections with other human beings. Working hard, working long hours, accumulating wealth, and so on are not going to make you happy. Pleasure is not happiness!
My childhood: 'you are more exceptional than your peers, the world is scary so we will do everything for you, when you go against the grain we will plant doubt under the guise of being concerned, we don't talk about emotions'
Hmm Thomas Aquinas reference. Chris you can find some commonalities with Bishop Barron on the topic of values. He can also discuss the youth and latin mass culture
Incredible talk! Im only half way through & got 4 pages of notes! cholk-full of practical advice. Thank you Chris for inviting Arthur Brooks. Keep doing your great work!
I love Arthur Brooks’ work in popularizing the fluid vs. crystal intelligence as it relates to finding purpose later in life. I’m only in my 30s, so it’s a great perspective to explore given that so many of my relatives and mentors are actively figuring out mid-life
the question is when Chris's future wife asks him to be home more what does he do? Say no, and she's in her place, but may ditch you for it, say yes and you've lost your mission and she may ditch you for it. That's a tough one and it's not just that.. it's like parental leave and much more to navigate. One thing I've heard on multiple podcasts lately is that, oh yeah , people in the past didn't have that problem, therefore they must've been happy. one example was that widows in the past were happy after their men died, to counter the point of the man saying that women hit the wall and want a man. In this case, that older men didn't have envy before phones and must've been happy in their bubble... I think that is very much speculative and probably just a half truth if that. The older people in my life were not any happier, both men and women. They were just who they were with their own struggles sometimes happy and sometimes not. Does being enlightened mean happy? or just being lighter? This was a great podcast though. I may re-listen because I didn't take notes. I don't think they touched on the marketing of happiness, which became a cultural phenomenon... Like that if you're not happy, then you should be chasing it, or that there's something wrong with you if you're not happy (take a med or something).
i wonder if the question we have been fixating on: are you happy? is even an accurate or relevant one to have? because the more we fixate on "happiness", the more "unhappiness" will become amplified and obvious. perhaps not having these conversations or placing so much emphasis on it will make everyone more happy LOL.
this obsession or desire to derive answers to happiness, as if there's a formula, is a pretty simplistic one in my opinion. whatever experts say may contain some truth but i dont think it should be used as the be all end all blueprint for everyone. it is extremely generalised and does not take into account individuals and their unique and contextual situations and personalities. i think personality type and a person's innate strengths and weaknesses can have a huge bearing on happiness.
Not sure I agree with the real friend thing (weekly talks). Turning 50 soon and had a best/great friend since age 5 and we talk about once monthly for an hour or so.
He brought up Nietzsche and said most people follow him. Then he just said don't follow him. He glazed over him. It's because no one can actually counter Nietzsche without going into extremes to counter the apathy. I think it sucked that he acknowledged Nietzsche ideas as the leading contender in modern life, but like many other people doesn't provide an actual satisfying modern answer to this. That's because no one really counter it or requires some deep understanding of the modern world right now. Not history. That's my 2 cents.
People need to stop listening to some well established, everything in order academic and need to look within themselves. Academia tells you about the "average person". There is no average person. It's a statistical thing. "When you look at the data" doesn't mean shit FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY. It can tell you something about OTHERS and what THEY have in COMMON, but that average statistical thing doesn't apply to everybody, does it? Everybody is an outlier in some way and average in some other way. Stop consuming social media (that means this shit, too), stop watchnig TV, stop gaming, stop overworking yourself for AN HOUR and just go outside and DON'T even TRY to do ANYTHING at all. Just fucking walk. Disconnect from the outside, reconnect to the inside (you don't have to do that actively btw...it just happens once you allow yourself to be with yourself without distraction.) When you ask most people: "What is scarier? Spending a day with a person you hate, or spending an hour in silence looking at a wall?" most will answer "the wall." But that is exactly what the fuck they need. How can you expect to ever be content (not talking about happiness here) if you're running away from yourself?? Everything is just "run run run gotta get the bag" even though they can live comfortably (not starving, can pay rent, are safe). Instead the conclusions are "if I have X amount of money, THEN I can live life and then I'll be happy.", "When I reach X amount of years in age, then I am able to live life.", "Gotta get that promotion to go to that expensive place for a vacation, THAT'S what I need.". Nah. What you need is values and a good life philosophy, which you now actually have to work towards, which means THINKING / WRITING about it and asking YOURSELF tough questions you probably know the answer to already, but are actively lying to yourself and avoiding the answers to. Why? Because you know you'll have to change things and it's going to be uncomfortable first, before it gets comfortable again (think drug addiction: Why are some people able to just walk away from smoking cigarettes after 25 years of use from one day to the next? Even though it's one of the hardest habits to quit, some people have a realization and just walk away. Some struggle and relapse, but eventually quit. It's not about the substance, is what I am trying to say: It's about your inner workings. That's why you're turning to drugs in the first place). We all know this to be true within ourselves, if you've spent ANY amount of observing your inner turmoil once you encounter such a hard truth. "I should break up with this person, but I really like the sex" is a good example of your hedonistic side winning over your morals and the innate knowledge of what the right thing to do is. Again: The right thing to do oftentimes is uncomfortable but very much worth it. The easiest thing is not the thing you need to do... Do the hard things, which doesn't mean WORK EVEN MORE. You know exactly what's right and wrong. If you don't....disconnect and go for walks. You need to listen to the thing inside of you that is telling you exactly what YOU - NEED - to do. Trust it (have faith). Not in some god / religious way (but if you are religious, you're gonna have a way easier time with this), but in YOURSELF. There is no losing. It's all winning and learning. No step back. It's ALL forward. Doesn't matter that you lost the job, if your character and integrity is intact. You will find work / purpose that suits YOU, not you forming yourself to suit some work! It's gonna be tough, but that is part of the course. In the "end" it's all worth it. Life is only hard, when you firstly: don't know who you are, what you want and what the direction you're going in life should be (all of those things are just lying inside of you, waiting to be HEARD, but you're unable to hear them, because you're busy jerking off, doing drugs, playing video games while listening to podcasts in hopes that you'll hear something that makes you change your life) Secondly: you're so poor that you're starving. How many people in the western world are really THAT poor. People in the comments listening to Modern "Wisdom", having access to the internet which they're probably accessing from a mobile phone which has been built on the backs of slaves (african cobalt mines / chinese workers that regularily try to kill themselves so much so, they installed nets around the buildings so they can't - research it) and commenting on how poor they are, need to rethink what poverty means. You don't have to make 100k/yr to not starve, or to attract a partner, either! Be somebody that is comfortable in their own skin, have a goal (which you can only find if you listen to yourself) and work towards it. That is everything you need to do to be "happy" in the end. Before I forget to mention it: You have to be honest. With others ofc, but honest with yourself most of all. Truly 100% ruthless honesty. What do I mean? Maybe you're unhappy with your marriage and you have kids with the other person, whom you most certainly love. Still, you're unhappy. You know you have to talk about it, but you're afraid of what the other person might say or do, you're afraid you're maybe gonna lose your children and everything you own in the divorce, if the worst case were to happen and so you "accept fate" and live unhappily for another 5-10 years....then you really fucked up. Now the worst case actually IS happening and you lost the chance to do anything about it when the time was right (when you noticed that something ain't right). If you had been honest with yourself, honest with your partner and genuine in your approach and talked about it, things might've turned out differently. They might've turned out the same, but you wouldn't have lost 5-10 years of your life being miserable, too. Your fear of conflict / of hard decisions / of a hard life made you choose the easy way, but that made everythinig so much harder in the long run, that in comparison the hard life WAS the easy life. In the end, what's better? Saying something, being aware that you're unhappy and DOING ANYTHING at all, or ignoring it and just "living life" in hopes that the problem is gonna go away on its own? It's not going away. You know it. You can FEEL it. Listen to that feeling FOR A BIT and just SEE FOR YOURSELF. See where it wants you to go and watch things magically fall in place. You will start wondering if fate is real even if you're an atheist (which I am). You'll watch everything, even problems, become opportunities. You'll experience negative things as a way to grow, like a challenge from the universe and when you do your best 100% of the time, are honest about everything, then even if you "fail" at something the universe gives you a little present. That is what religious people call God or God's plan / fate, Buddhists call Karma and so on. As Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: "Ignoring what goes on in other people's soul - no one ever came to grief that way. But if you won't keep track of what your own soul's doing, how can you NOT be unhappy?" - Book Two: On the River Gran, Among the Quadi; Marcus Aurelius' Meditations
This guy is so specific to his own experience with his prescriptions. “Listen to Bach” - later explains he was in a choir. “Speak to your friend(s) semi weekly or they aren’t your friend(s)” - then explains that’s how his friends interact. Kinda loses a bit of credit with the specific anecdotal absolutes.
How long was covid? What child " never" got socialization? You had years before covid, even if only 5 years and you still had time with your family. I feel like many people had better family time.
42:35 - This made me think about going to the gym alone, or going on a run alone. Would these be considered enjoyment or pleasure? By the definition above you'd say pleasure (although the gym is healthier than watching porn). Do we accept that going to the gym is a "good" enough behaviour that it's acceptable to do it alone without it seeming sad in the same way we would view someone drinking alone in their house?
Fuck words like happy and pretty and well-adapted etc. what percentage of your experience has been characterized by contentment? how do we justify the incessant suffering when it fails to be counter balanced by some semblance of positivity? what do we tell these folks? EVERYBODY requires genuine attention and the interest of others, what of those who go without? loneliness is a real Hell and it tends to feel deliberate and specific to those who suffer.
'my wife grew up in Barcelona' lol like coming from Europe is somehow indicative of rough life even if it's a wealthy, big, developed place? Sounds weirdly ignorant
Totally. I am from Spain. It looked as if Barcelona was another Planet and not one of the best cities in the world to live in, specially a few years ago (not so much now).
Kinda had enough of 'Harvard" at this point --- PhD = Piled Higer and Deeper The evidence of those on his campus makes all what he says specious - like the loving and wise parent who has spoilt unruly kids who manage to annoy all the neighbours bc he is both too benign and going about bleating... all these "rights without enough emphasis on receptibilities - which is exactly what we see on the Harvard campus.
“i am the 60 year old version of you.” um, kind of. you have the same type and level od status seeking. but you are very different personalities. chris = ni / fi intj (i think) and orher guy is ne / fe entp. so, some things in common but mostly very different.
two good looking, tall, intelligent men, blessed by genetics, from the top hierarchy talking about the theory of how to stop feeling lost and finding purpose, what an irony
I would like to share this discussion with others. However, the profanity from Williamson makes it difficult to pass along. Is there any way you can conduct interviews without the F-bomb? We get what you’re saying, there is no need to add the language.
No reason for happiness? wah? Way off...It's so much easier to go through life happy as appose to sad and miserable. .. happiness is a helpful characteristic of being human. It's helpful to have joy and happiness... If it was just a miserable life and nothing could be enjoyable..then I'll just kill myself. I wouldn't just survive to survive. Some sort of reason to even get up in the morning. ..."well, I like to get the daily news! " George Costanza
"Walk an hour before the sun comes up alone" is a pretty unhelpful recommendation with no caveat. I guess I'll get my mace and start taking self defense classes because I don't live in the setting he obviously does.
Yeah, it's the same old same old. Some privileged, rich, guy telling the peasents how to live life completely ignoring the obvious situation of 90% of the populace. Just read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations and you'll find more wisdom in two to three sentences than you will in this whole conversation... Self improvement sphere is such a scam on RU-vid. Just taking advantage of people trying to better themselves and stealing their time that they could've invested in cleaning the fucking house xD You'd be happier if your house didn't stink. ( Just an example, I am sure you get what I am saying). People trying to be happy and watching 5h of self improvement podcasts while playing video games, but the dishes have roaches feasting on them and the garden looks like a scrap yard… Everybody needs to take a hard look at themselves and be honest about their situation FIRST. All you need to do is look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is what you want. If not: Do something, ANYTHING, about it. Doesn't have to be huge… Baby steps.
@@robertmaxa6631 I wonder if you would conclude the same regarding an animal mother instinctively putting her life at risk to save her offspring. For me it isn't instinct, it's love that transcends this life. I didn't even give birth to my children (we adopted), but I would give up my life for them, as I would for my country, my freedom, and especially my faith. I'm sorry my initial response was rude. I hope for your sake that you are young and that given time and life experience, you will discover many things (the very things that make life beautiful and worth living) are worth dying for. "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it." Matthew 10:39
26:00 "If it doesn't hurt your heart when you haven't spoken to your friend in a week, they're not a real friend" - I like the sentiment here, but I feel like you don't need to be in touch with your friends once a week to maintain a true friendship. We all have busy lives, and some of us go weeks or months without speaking, and then we can get together and hit it off like we saw each other yesterday.
This bit struck a nerve with me also. I'm in a similar boat with my friends as you are with yours and yet they're still the people I can turn to when I need them and they're still the people I'd like to spend a lot of time with. Sometimes life can get in the way (although, to be honest with ourselves, the only reason we don't have the time is because we don't make it a priority to have the time)
Yeah, I completely agree. I don't think I've ever had that pain with anyone except my wife, kids, and parents when I was a child. I've had curiosity about what they're up to. They're in my thoughts regularly, but, yeah, everything else you said.
I understand the realism of seeing people only occasionally, but the other side is, if you don't have someone who you can see almost regularly, your friendship has reached a point of distance where it's at an optional status. That realization is hurtful, and can create yearning for someone who is more present for you.
You bring up an important point about the nature of true friendships. While frequent communication can signify closeness, the real measure of a friendship often lies in the ability to reconnect effortlessly, regardless of time apart. Life's demands mean we can't always be in constant contact, but the strength of a friendship is evident when we can pick up right where we left off. This understanding acknowledges the depth and resilience of meaningful relationships, highlighting that true connection goes beyond regular communication.
@@wkb9211 You know, I’d have no problem paying if not for their political censorship problem. Perhaps, after the election if they are even handed. Not looking good so far, unfortunately.
Married people are happier if the marriage goes well, if not is hell. Mr. Brooks, why don't you show us the data that you shout so loud that you have, and expecially, explain to us how they have collected and analyzed. Harvard is bin of garbage, and seeing how you talk, I realized why: you are making ideology not science.
Unfortunately Mr. Brooks hasn't all the answers for all people. What resonates for me might not be for you? Sometimes, in our own unhappiness, we start placing blame onto others. I wish someone had all the answers, but in reality, it's never going to work out that way.
I hope one day we can all realise that the nature of our mind, pure consciousness, is happiness itself. And that we need to do nothing in order to experience it. It’s not a feeling or an emotion. It’s the lack of resistance to life. Any step we take towards it is a step in the wrong direction. It is in our last attempt to escape the moment that we realise happiness is already what we are. Have a great day guys.
Professors are like career military - they go that route so they never have to think or worry about anything. lol They go from parents - to institutions that are basically their parents, for life. Take advice from either with a grain of salt.
I enjoyed your aura and insights very much, Arthur. Thank you. I also appreciate that CW was excellent at delivering his questions. BUT.. When people say, “You are perfect,” they mean that you are wonderful just as you are in this moment. It does not necessarily imply that there is no room for personal growth or improvement. Rather, it is a metaphor suggesting that you can find contentment and happiness within yourself, regardless of where you are or who you are at any given time.
Kinda have to say that I disagree with all the “data” quote and quote. Of course I highly suggest to involve yourself with society, and get into a relationship. But I don’t think it’s enough and if you are not ready for it then it is going to be a miserable ride, that’s why there are more divorces now.
Wonderful conversation. I was really hit by the topic of letting your kids see you doing hard things, and having it be okay to fail. I find that I'm a perfectionist, and I often don't let myself get outside of my comfort zone, therefore I'm not risking failure. But I realize that's not what I want my daughters to learn, I want them to dare to do the hard stuff. So I'm going to show them what that looks like. Thanks Chris, as always, really enjoy what you're doing.
To say " we lost a generation" is just extreme and untrue. Majority of mchildhoodod consoled of self loathing, neglect, emotional abuse...oxytocin deficit. I was depressed at the age of 5, homeless and drug addicted by 15, only 5 years ago at 25 did I start my journey down self love and happiness. Despite my past, I consider myself one of the happiest people, because I choose to be. Just because my braindevelopment environment was not conducive to happiness, it doesn't mean it can not be learned.
The moment I heard about brahmamuhurta, I switched off. This is some old age nonsense from India, and the reason why we are superstitious and backward.
Women will also be happier married with kids that’s an even bigger counter cultural message then telling it to men these days. Though I guess in the past when I was younger (90s era) the messaging was always that men hated marriage and women were such a burden to them. That was probably detrimental to young women and girls at the time. Why the hell was this the messaging? What woman would strive for marriage if she thinks her husband only tolerates her and would rather be a bachelor? We only have ourselves to blame for young people’s reluctance and negativity towards marriage and family.
