hating men & growing up not “man enough”. 

I’m glad you said that about surgery because it’s INSANE to think girls my age or younger (23) are getting surgery 😭 like ??? Can we please just give ourselves a chance to grow fully into our bodies?

my therapist told me recently that telling myself "I am a bad person" doesn't motivate me to be better, it actually just keeps me stuck in my rut because I think I can never change. I think a similar thing is going on with our current movement of feminism. the more we say "all men," the more we make masculinity/men INHERENTLY bad, the less we motivate them to be better. I love love love the idea of rediscovering a positive view of masculinity so we can give our young boys an ideal to be inspired by, rather than a label they will never escape. Loved the video as always, Dustin !!!!

when i think of positive masculinity, i think of my dad. he's a great dad and when i think of him, i think of feeling safe. i think protection can be a positive masculine trait!

i relate to this sm but from a female perspective. from a young age i noticed in conversations men were more respected and carried the conversation with dominance. majority of my family members and relatives are male so whenever it was holidays and hanging out i was always the one female. my cousins would ostracize me and it left my self esteem and respectability broken and because of that i rejected everything feminine. i hate femininity sm and looked up to masculinity. i wanted to become “one of the boys” so from a very young age i would try to wear clothes similar to my brother and i always went to the boys section. my parents hated the clothes i chose and would always berate me for not being feminine enough. then growing up i slowly started to realize the toxic masculinity and how we live in a patriarchal society and i started to hate men. i even started looking at my dad and own brother differently even though my dads literally the sweetest guy. but from my environment and the way i grew up even when i tried to have female friends i felt like i wasn’t feminine enough even though they prob wouldn’t judge me and when i tried to hang out with the boys no matter how masculine i tried to act they always dominated conversations so i felt invisible. this led to isolation and depression all the way through my teen years. this all changed when i moved to college and i was put in a different environment. i wanted to change my perspective and be able to trust female friendships and males as well. i joined a school club and the rest was history. i made so many male and female friends that weren’t toxic and they just accepted me for who i was. because of that i was able to experiment with my femininity and masculinity and started wearing skirts and switching it up and become unconditionally myself. so i’m def in a more positive mindset now that i threw away all my prejudice❤️❤️

dustin i'm a girl, but your feelings towards masculinity are exactly how i've felt about femininity growing up

it’s something i’ve noticed in my partner. it took him about ten months before he cried to me. he’s always been scared of being gentle and loveabl, but the longer we’ve been together, the more of that he’s showing. he was taught to be this big man with no emotion or empathy, but now he is okay with being vulnerable with those close to him and i see it as such a beautiful thing.

I used to think similarly to you as I definitely felt insecure for not being the most athletic, not having large muscles, and generally not relating to other guys growing up. However, I have come to realize that masculinity and femininity is only as real as society makes it - it’s comparable to international borders or the very concept of race itself. They are all obviously real but only because their importance is perpetuated. In reality, none of them have any significance - it’s just personal expression, just land, and just physical appearance. What’s the most unfortunate is that because society deems them important, it’s a means for prejudice and discrimination through genderism, xenophobia, and racism. Masculinity/femininity, border lines, and race do not exist fundamentally - only systemically. That is why I choose to not care anymore about masculinity or femininity. Giving less of a shit liberated me so much. I enjoy painting my nails, putting on eyeshadow sometimes, and wearing crop tops - it’s my own personal self-expression with no regard to what society says, and this has made me feel so much more confident and attractive as well. I also appreciate the self-expression of others more because I see them as an wonderful individual rather than simply the one defying societal norms. To be so invested in how you are perceived is to deprive yourself from enjoying life fully.

as a trans guy, i totally agree with everything you talked about. it's so weird to me personally, because growing up i've never had a preference for "masculine stuff", but once i started to actually explore my identidy and and be like "oh wow yes i'm a guy", was when i started to have the feeling of being off. i think it's more of a insecurity metter, about how i'm afraid i won't ever be enough of a boy for liking a lot of things that are considering feminine stuff and having mostly girl friends and etc, because idk you're not expected by society to have a relationship with a girl unless it's romantic or your family, and you're not expected to have the bare minimum self care, or to like "girly" things such as idk sanrio and taylor swift, but "masculine" interests just always seemed so boring to me that it's something very difficult to deconstruct and explore more. it kinda makes me sad that i've never been able to experience boyhood, even knowing that it's a lot of times a toxic environment to grow up on. i guess i'm still learning how to be more chill about my "feminine side" (if you can put it like that) and how it's ok to like what i like and it doesn't make me any less of a man

as a woman 😭I cant help but relate to all of these feelings man. Especially in the context of dating, it feels impossible to actually find a decent, sweet guy.

this is very important video to me, as a transgender guy i can relate so much, cause even tho i am who i am, i dont want to be this stereotypical alpha man. i love taylor swift, experimenting with my looks, cleaning, decorating and all of it that is considered “girly”. i cry, im sensitive, i show my emotions and im not ashamed of it. thanks dustin!

For anyone who is interested, Hybrid Calisthenics is one fitness influencer I've found to be pretty wholesome and low-pressure! The guy on there gives great tutorials with lots of variations for people who might not be used to moving or have limited mobility, and it's helped motivate me to take care of myself just to enjoy existing as myself (and there's no yelling)

i needed to watch this video, i myself is a transgender man who hated men for my entire life and even after coming out i had a hard time accepting that i had become what i always hated the most. i still cry very often bc i know the world will never see me as a person with feelings, interests and history, i will always just be a bad man in the eyes of the world. i am struggling to begin the "rediscover masculinity" journey bc i dont know where to start. but i will eventually, thank you for putting things in perspective so well dustin!!

SOOOO real... finally someone speaking about this topic!

This video damn near made me cry. I relate so much to your dialogue about masculinity. Thank you SO MUCH for being able to articulate what I can’t. I love you dustin 😭😭

i feel like ive been going through a similar process thinking about how femininity and masculinity impacts my life and view of other people and i think you've done a really sound job putting those thoughts to words

I'm a guy and I feel the same as you do. I had a lot of masculine presence in my childhood, but I always felt somewhat opressed and overloaded by what's considered "male" energy. Everything they did had to be so harsh and intense in a way that I just couldn't bear. Because of that, I spent most of my life being way more comfortable around girls and women. Even now, despite not feeling as awkward when meeting another guy as before, I still don't have a lot of friendships with other men because I think most of them are not very interesting to interact with.

i have the exact same feelings about men. my hatred for men was at its peak when i was a teenager because i heard a lot of stuff guys would talk about in the class backseats and most of the time they were disgusting things, just toxic masculinity and misogny at a disgusting level. at that time i had a guy friend (the only one i ever really approached myself bc i just really liked him as a person) that was similar to you, but that didn't stop me from having such a negative view about them, because all the other guys were awful. i befriended another guy now (my friend's bf) who's actually really sweet and healthy abt his masculinity, many years later my first guy friend. those were the only two straight men i have ever felt safe around and funnily they held the same views towards men, they say that the male friendships they had were mostly about toxic teasing, hitting each other or that men just weren't fun to hang around, so they prefered friendships with women or lgbtq people. i don't hate men anymore, the word hate is too strong, but i also can't say i can fully trust a man due to my experiences in my teens, which genuinely saddens me. i know positive masculinity is actually amazing, but it's not the main culture between men (that's a fact i checked for myself ty) and it just makes me SAD. that's why we have to look out for the next generations. young boys have the right to grown up in more positive and kinder enviroments to become the beautiful humans they should be.

its so refreshing seeing someone else explain these feelings and thoughts. In a bitter sweet way its nice to know its not just me

dang im sad and happy reading all these comments. sad in the sense so many ppl are describing how hard it was(is) feeling out of place for so long or have a part of u hidden in order to fit in w 'norms'. but i'm also happy to see the amount of people that feel safe enough to share their feelings and experiences on here even if its an uncomfortable topic to discuss for some

As a kid I had to go to this doctor to train my tongue posture. I didn’t know why and what I was doing there as a kid - because the exercise were rlly silly - but through these mewing videos I re-remembered that time and started doing these exercises again. My jaw actually moved forward and my tongue can now rests on top of my mouth after 1-2 years. I couldn’t even hold it on top in the beginning. I can also swallow properly now which is cool. So there is some depth to it if you have some issues but I’m not prettier. I gained some self confidence but that’s because of therapy.

wow.. thank you so much dustin for expressing in a so sincere and personal way your experience and perspective on this topic, which I do think we as a society definetely don't talk about enough.. also, i found really surprinsing and wonderful how you as a guy show this immense critical thinking and reasonability, acknowledging the toxic traits of masculinity nowadays.. really, thank you for that, we need more of this content!!!

From the Barbie movie, it made me feel like it was pushing for people to be themselves rather than something that's imaginary. Like to just be human by feeling what you're feeling and the emotions that you have without judgement or expectation of how you're supposed to be. "You're this identity and that identity and all these experiences, and then you're dead." Those ideas aren't there anymore when you're dead. I feel as though I made up those identities in high school because of media with the jocks, the nerds, and pretty people, the untouchables, and smart kids, etc. and slotted myself into places instead of just livin'? The positive times with guy friends is when we did tease each other and got competitive but it was often with a sense of playground fun like you know these people are just playing with them. Or you're getting competitive because it was fun to grow and to help someone else to grow like a rival. I find it funny that I had more girl bullies that would make fun of you for how you looked and calling you a creep when you're just minding your own business playing by yourself or eating lunch. There was one girl in tennis who would always yell at the guys and say that they're better and spit in our gatorades and water bottles. And that girl in soccer who would dig her cleats into my toes when I was tying my shoes and told me not to cry. I don't see these girls as a benchmark for all girls because there were also a lot of incredibly nice girls. Rather just bad people and lessons/expectations taught while growing up intermingling with other lives in school and in public. I don't wanna continue to be reserved out of fear of acting out or being called those things, and not for the sake of being more manly, but just to enjoy myself more and all the good and bad that comes with me? Like even if you aren't any of these identities you're still here, you still exist. Ken is ken, Barbie is barbie, Allen is Allen. Everybody is themselves. What that is is up to them to figure out.

Alpha male ROARR 🦁!! That really made me laugh. From a girl’s perspective I loveeeee your discussion so much. When I was younger, i used to think that I was attracted to ‘masculine’ men but now, I value qualities like kindness, introspection and gentleness so much more. But I’m also like “where are these men!??!??”. Thank you Dustin for taking one for the team and I hope you influence a new generation of boys to be as thoughtful and confident about their feelings as you ❤️❤️

The majority of men are raised not to show emotions and just suppress them. It's rare that, for example, you see a man cry, let alone talk about how he really feels. Many of them also have a strange perspective about how they should behave towards others and about relationships with others in general. I too have given up on this many times - where I live (the Balkans) everything is even more "traditional" and it's rare to find a man who isn't macho and raised in such a way that he doesn't show emotions. I have seen many times how parents scold their child because he cries, even if he is crying because of pain due to an injury or something similar. No wonder they grow up to be such people. But it is true that I notice more and more men who share their feelings and have this 'femininity' to them. But in the end there are bad representatives of every gender, but I can agree that is more common for woman to have more empathy and be more open. Overall this is a really important topic and am glad that someone is talking about it 🙂

Your words resonate with me as a male and for that reason I am following

This was such a needed topic to be talked about. Thanks Dustin for being so vocal about it.❤

Such an important topic! I love your channel Dustin ❤️

From a "male" perspective as someone who can't stand men, especially straight men, I find it tiring this notion that we should collectively be "nicer" and more "compassionate" to man as if they haven't been on the receiving hand of said kindness and compassion. I am surrounded by amazing, loving and caring women, who extend this version of themselves to anyone around them. The truth is that unless it becomes a trend for men to be nice, kind and compassionate LEAD by men it will never happened, which in turns kills any hope or interest of mine in seeking peace with men.

as a trans guy, i relate to this pretty heavily. i play a lot of "masculine" sports because i enjoy them, but also because i wanted to be more "manly." i've always thought that i need to go to the gym or work out in order to be considered more masculine, but despised gym culture because it has always felt so toxic to me. i've never had strong male friendships and i constantly envy those who have them, whether its a strong friendship between two guys or a guy and a girl. i think that also growing up as a girl has caused me to be closer with girls and i think that made me realise that i didn't like men at all. but that never stopped me from wanting to be one and experience boyhood at the same time? i'm not sure if any of this makes sense but i really appreciate this video, so thank you, dustin!

As someone who isn’t classified as a stereotypical “male”, I’m gonna say that I never understood why feminine men put women on a pedestal. I grew up with very toxic parents, one of them being my mother, and I never really understood why women are put on a pedestal, especially at the end of the day, we’re all humans. You wouldn’t trust me simply because I am or I’m not a particular person. I know a lot of people won’t agree with me, but this just feels like something shallow that was thrown on me, especially since I’m part of the LGBTQ+ community and have yet to support this argument. 😕

Im so happy you made this video Dustin, as a fellow male who’s mainly grown up around girl friends for most of my life, I’ve found it very hard up until recently to be able to just vibe well with most men I’ve encountered in my life. It made me jealous that I missed out on having a male friend group, especially when you see media and think that you’ve missed out of what should be “normal” for boys to experience. Growing up I was also more creative, I loved music, I loved to draw, and I was in touch with my emotions, and lots of the ppl in my life would describe me as nice or kind. But deep down there was always that underlying feeling of being less than other men around me due to this, even though that isn’t the case. Ever since I found your channel years back, it was so comforting to see someone that I could relate to so well. Thanks for this video :)

What I really don't understand about my male friends is that when we talk about mental health and they say the male suicide rate is higher than womens and that they always have to be strong and such. 10 minutes later when another friend joins the conversation, they flame him for his body weight and bodyshame him for the first 2 minutes and always bring it up during the conversation. They say they're just joking and no one takes it seriously. But still, how can the same people that just complained about how they as males have to be so strong and have it so hard in life, how can they be such bullies a seccond later??? It makes no sense. How can they complain but also be the source of their problems??? .-.

I’m the same, as a woman I’m personally very repulsed by masculinity in its stereotypical form. in my experience it makes men scary and disgusting to be around, zero emotional management skills and poor hygiene, no thank you. even though I’m bisexual my sexual preferences are feminine men AND women I don’t think it’s going to change for me in this lifetime even if we do remedy the masculinity crisis. I so badly want to do away with gender stereotypes but it doesn’t seem like it’s going away any time soon so whatever lol

Omg this made me flashback to the Dude Wipes debacle 😭like only when someone decided to put WIPES, a wet version of what you were already using, in a Black package with bold text did you find it okay to use WIPES? They're WIPESSS. Also I heard a debate about whether it's okay to buy a man flowers or a man buy himself flowers... it's a plant??? it's never that deep.

If you like movies about boyhood, definitely watch "My Life As A Dog", it's so sweet and kind of sad but also like a more sensitive and fragile boy who struggles with masculinity in a very strange way

The timing of me finding this video cause is somewhat perfect. I'm just waking up from a forced nap i took in attmept to take a break from criticizing and hating my physical looks all day. Like i was so angry and tired i had to shut my body down so i couldn't think about it anymore. I relate so much to everything you've said, as someone suffering from severe insecurity about my looks and currently watching it grow worse for me everyday. At this point i might just admit i have body dismorphia. I just feel like nothing i do makes a difference, and i do a lot. Help

I can talk about this for hours. As a girl I’ve never felt feminine enough and I’ve never felt confident enough to try masculine styles. I’m also a gym rat and struggle between getting the lean feminine body vs the “muscle mommy” look😭 I feel like I don’t want to be on either sides of masculinity or femininity. I have a bad perception on both sides and just want to exist outside of the binary, if that makes any sense.

The way you think of "masculinity" is so wrong. Being tough, teasing others, and not having empathy, is not masculine, it's simply just being a douchebag (and the majority of men), sprinkling in some avoidant or anxious attachment style & some form of childhood trauma. Speaking as a feminine man who is bi, I have always had the same ideology about men and masculinity all my life, up until recently when my mom found her current boyfriend. Watching this video I almost got emotional because I literally see my past self as you in this video. Unfortunately, when I adopted this negative view of masculinity, I've never felt lonelier in my entire life, I struggled with creating male friendships because I simply wasn't as masculine as them and we never had the same interests, it also didn't help that I always look at them in a judgmental lens and had to lower my voice and act different every time I had an interaction with a man. Now, I learned that a masculine man is a man who takes care of others, sets on missions, goes after his goals, and is a provider(doesn't have to be family related). That's why you only ever hear men say "I want to propose to her" and women always say "I can't wait to get engaged". I've always been feminine since I was a kid, I love to be pursued, looked after, take care of my health, and always have some sort of feminine self-care regime before bed. Being feminine is about sitting back and letting the masculine do the pursuing. Regardless of sexual orientation, the principles apply. After seeing men differently, I started leaning into my own energy and the men around me are surprisingly really nice, my relationship with men has increased significantly, I'm more confident around others and finally feel like I started living again. Strangely, I'll also add that a LOT of men have been pursuing me as well, especially romantically. This might tie into how everything is YOU pushed out. I felt really compelled to comment on this because I really really hate how people attach negative traits to being masculine. The men who boast about sleeping with 5 different women are not masculine, it's actually the opposite, it's so fragile, it's all ego. I also really really recommend listening to Margarita Nazarenko, THE best girl hands down. Her videos helped me a lot and I hope the people reading this comment check her out as well, she talks about feminine and masculine energy, and I particularly love her older videos about self-concept, attachment styles, and all things about confidence.

Super agree about hating friends boyfriends & distrusting men in general. I often felt like that the men I knew divided the world into two categories: 1. Men who are Bros and 2. Women they can pursue. Being a feminine man means you exist outside this binary worldview, so ostracism from masculine men is almost inevitable. You're not really their ally, but you're not quite their enemy. I don't think hating these negative aspects of masculinity is bad - they objectively suck! How can men defend emotionally stunting themself by never crying, thinking feminine people are below them, viewing themselves as naturally more capable, etc? If you are a man and you think being born with a dick, a complete chance event, makes you any of those things - you should feel bad! And I hate how men are babied with this topic - we need to hit the breaks on this whole operation and evaluate what is actually going on. All that being said, I think wanting to be stereotypically masculine is fine if it's just what you genuinely want. If you feel forced to perform masculine traits, that obviously bad. The idea that you can't be feminine and also the breadwinner of your family or masculine and nurturing to your children, is literally archaic to me. If you just happen to be a guy and want to be the breadwinner, that's fine - but expecting it "because you're the man" is insane.

I found this video by chance. Compared to how I was growing up (hardcore internet kid) I feel pretty out of touch with trends nowadays. This was interesting to watch and I cannot imagine growing up in such a time. I grew up when people looked all kinds of way! I agree with almost everything, I will reiterate that yes people most of the time wanna look better to be *treated better* , so actually insecurity isn't the sole reason for doing plastic surgery as you said imo. I myself always viewed myself externally neutrally where the positivity I associate with how I look came from me loving myself, knowing myself, my personality and looking at the mirror and knowing that rather than an object to be stripped out of all historical associations of its owner and be 'rated', it is *me*. Nowadays, I look at myself as if I were an outsider, I try to think of how I am perceived, and I 'rate' myself. Growing up with a lot of cousins, relatives, school friends and family friends, they all eventually come to 'fill in' their faces/appearance. Their faces cannot be separate from who they are, how I know them, their voices, their body language. Nowadays we are exposed to endless streams of strangers irl and online. We view people as objects more than ever. I also agree it is important that we were never meant to be so aware of how we look, cognitively. Another issue is, all of this emphasis of how you look, truly places you outside of yourself, causing you to operate, be, and live in such a dissociated state and perception that you forget to just be, take in experiences. All this emphasis in movements of 'bettering' your looks, of this chase that doesn't truly ever reach an end, you're too occupied to truly live just the way you are to make space for things that matter like experiencing life firsthand. You're too occupied with something that is always in the future.

12:44 i think that this is why we never feel completely satisfied. we want to fit every ideal that we have even when those ideals are incompatible

You look like a nice person to genuinely have a conversation with

You articulated all your points really well and I appreciate how well thought-out and honest this video is, thank you for taking the time to make this

As a woman with a long history of abuse my various men in my life, I never really appreciated masculinity. But now that I am older, I have found good men who are caring and loving and gentle,.. if I had to sum up positive masculinity in one word I would choose "protective." I also think I have a good insight into this as a disabled teenage girl, as there are many times I need to assistance of men in public as I have passed out/ need help standing etc. A good man will stop at nothing to protect the health and wellness of a woman (or person in general) that he truly cares about. There are good men out there!! I promise!!

Hey Dustin, I really do appreciate your take on this topic. For me personally the constant pressure men have to endure from constant judgement is backfiring into overworking yourself, not really getting to know yourself and trying to fit into this box, which leaves no room for growth. However accepting yourself and slowly growing with time and naturally adapting to what it truly means to be a man, aside from all toxicity is truly a powermove, and I applaud and praise you for that alongside with your honesty. As a girl who is currently 22, I always felt weird because I never truly learnt to adapt to girlhood. As of now, I have a similar journey like you, finding my feminine side and slowly accepting and embracing it, In the end there is not really much of a change, it is just a different point of view and perception, adaption . It is cool to feel comfortable in doing what slowly feels familiar whatever it might be. Life is all about learning, trying and embracing. You are doing a great job at that! Love you and I truly appreciate your videos, you brightened up my day :)

5:56 THIS!

You have no idea how much I needed a dustin sit-down video.

You’re such a nice guy

Joe Lee is one of my favs for some chill gym vlogs

I can relate to this so much, I'm a full straight male but the way men are portrayed on media and it's subsequent impact on younger boys are something I've never been able to relate to. I also loved the way you talked about women which is something I've always thought after all I was raised by my mother along with my sister, and many of what I consider positive traits have a "femenine energy". Nowadays I'm trying to accept this side of me a bit more, definitely it helps to have such a sweet girl as best friend who accepts me for who I am. :)

My looks are important to me, but I also have hobbies and interests outside of my looks. It helps me on days I’m not feeling cute, because I have all of the other interests.

10:08 fr that's why I like those guys who make videos about calisthenics because they're usually much more chill and less pretentious. I love Colin Murray and yvguo.

i relate to this so much im crying thank you, dustin!

Ok this is maybe gonna be a weird comment but growing up as a black girl who was a tomboy I kinda related to what you said. I mean I did receive toxic masculinity because I was a women who « acted like a boy » so I see what you mean you said that you wished you had positive masculinity growing up cause me too. I also wished middleschoolers weren’t so seperated by their sex because I think this is the root of having négative masculinity /feminity.

the friends bfs thing is SOOOO real

so freaking cute

I don't understand at all why in our time femininity and masculinity are widespread as something important. Are these literally stereotypes about gender, like femininity is tenderness, beauty and kindness, and masculinity is strength, stone and roughness? wtf I personally think that it would be better if people were not told what to be based on their gender, because a feminine man or a masculine woman will still be considered something strange in society. So fuck that society;)

In lieu of your craving for male media that isn’t toxic/out rightly negative and negating kindness I’d HIGHLY recommend “Darius the Great is Not Okay” and its sequel!! Two beautiful books about a male character who enters and exits many a scenario gracefully and interprets boyhood in a very nuanced way despite his age!

Leanbeefpatty is a nice balance between calm but also energetic

Great video :) Ive struggled with the same issues, needed to be reminded being me is ok :)

This video helped restore my faith in men. Thank you.

⭐⭐"WAS smthing I said"⭐⭐

Stand by Me, one of my favorite movies. grew up surrounded by toxicity. Got in trouble by not being as toxic as I needed to be, made me to be a loner, a loner because I also did not identify with femininity, or possibly kept my distance to protect myself from being call a pansy/girly. I also read the book, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Liked it very much.

Dear Dustin, You have my heart with all the content that you put out

10:48 honestly, Peter Le has been pretty good as far as editing, gym, aesthetic, and gentlemeness. He recently posted a gym vlog like right around your last video release!

There is Wanhee here on YT, he's one of the more chill fitness influencers I found, he makes videos for aesthetic trainings!!

If your looking for chill gym content it's the girly's gym ruitine videos for me Becca Watson's are very relaxing to me! 👍

you are so real idc

after all your videos i feel inspired to journal you articulate your thoughts so well i feel like i always learn something from you

love this ♥️♥️ but i’ve heard that if you exist and are the way you are that means people like you exist xxx

i think the reason its so hard to define positive masculinity, is bc masulinity is essentially a power dynamic created to oppress those deemed "too feminine" i personally know lots of cases where female friend groups embrace a more "feminine" man into their group, not as a token but as a genuine friend. ive never seen or heard of a group of men doing the same for a girl. this is bc at its core, masculinity is a guarded privilege that most men want to keep exclusive to themselves.

You remind me of my self in so many ways

I could literally write a whole essay about you no joke

there is such a great video from 10 years ago I think called 'On Being Ugly' by karakamos on here that talks about your value in society based on your looks and being "ugly". I haven't seen it in a while but I remember watching it in high school and it really affecting me.

thank you for talking about this.....such a hard topic that isnt talked about a lot in my social circle.....

So excited to watch the video aaaaaaaaaaaa

Alpha male "Rrwaaahhh!!" 😡💪🪓👺 I almost spit my rice 😂

'i just think girls are so great! they're just so much... better" thanks dustin

I realy like Strength Side for my fitness content. They're way chiller and are focused on bodyweight training and stretches. It's kind of like white mom yoga but with actual strength benefits

I just love the whole vibe of the video. Thank you for making my evening

Dustin, couldn't agree with you more throughout the video, so real and so true. Also, I suggest you watch the sturniolo triplets

Growing up in a toxic masculinity society like a countryside in Vietnam make it even more obvious but of course people around me didn’t realize that and even consumed that is “culture”. And it was so ridiculously that as soon as I’m 18, I want to get out of the town and didn’t ever wanted to come back or live there when I retired. The toxicity disgusts me, the society make me sick and make me think that I am the problem. You know the social media does saying that the environment wasn’t the excuse for who you are, change your perspective and habit not the environment but I THINK IT IS AND ITS NOT OUR FAULT, IT’S JUST THEY GROWING UP WITH THAT MINDSET DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO BE LIKE THEM

I'm always so happy when you upload. This was a very insightful take into all this ✨

You're AMAZING Dustin ❤ I LOVE U 🥰

love these long ranting videos!

The Domo hat!!! But also I agree w you a lot of good points king

I think a reason why intensity in masculinity exists is because of the correlation between testosterone and our emotional management,as emotional inteligence is linked to a "gurl thing"we usually dont develop this trait and this transforms in this intensity(the whole trend of the sad boy gym teens is literally because they dont see any other way to kanage their emotions other than lifting),i see positive masculinity as being a person able to solve problems and be when ppl need you the most,someome they can relly and you can relly to them,a kund leader figure but someone just able to help the others and provide solutions to them,while also taking care of oneself and aolving your own problemz

love you for making this video

Unrelated but I like your domo hat :D I really liked mid90s but I skateboarded and was used to this dynamic haha I wish you the best in finding your own kind of positive masculinity

I love your Chanel so much Dustin. I Can really relate to a lot of the topics you talk about. You make your videos feel so safe and I always find myself waiting for your next video to come out. Thank you ❤

dustin vuong my favorite man on the internet ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

@yusuftruth is such a chill gym influencer

gentle and clam men are so awsome and humanly, being aggressive and arrogant, feels like the soul of the person has scars and the person dont wanna acknowledge it, you are not an animal, beinv vurnable at times and showing emotions is what makes you human, it is what makes you a living being, living life without showing emotions is not masuline isnt it just dead, like isnt it just like being unalive? Resepectful and emotionally mature men are awsome and what we need, its good for them too being able to understand what you want, respecting others feeling and regulating your emotions normally, is not femmine , its what normal mature human should be or its not less masculine its a common practice which should come to a wise and mature and normal adult, we are not always perfect and its okayyyyy, honestly men who are always agressive alpha beta sigma, are exhusting , a gentle being is healing to soul, not only to others but to own soul as all.

thank you so much for these thought videos, you have such good points!!

When men discover the concept of skincare and taking care of themselves and form a whole new movement 😮😮😮😮😮😮

This is a weird situation. I realized the other day that the reason why I was hanging out with the guys so much is that I was usually the odd "girl" out (I'm agendered, did not understand or care for gender at 6, only see it as an aesthetic now) and ended up getting along with the boys fairly ok because I liked the same TV shows and had a goofy sense of humour. So in a sense, I learned to like my "prison" because some of the inmates were nice enough to take me in when I was younger. Societally, I look like this fem-ish person with more masc leaning tendencies. I only hated feminine things because my mother forced them onto me (liked to run around outside, was forced to wear dresses and bright colours, things I don't like still) and my lack of fine motor skills made some "girl" toys difficult for me to play with. Out of context, I seem like a pick-me my today's standards...nah, just being myself. But tbh, most of my friends are queer and masc leaning, or people mistake for being queer and masc leaning. My friendships with obviously straight men have disintegrated since uni.

I feel you!!

I agree on the surgery part so much, like nowdays people are just normalizing surgery, which I am not in a favour of, kinda dystopian , like its there wish let me do surgery, but bro after some time it would be everyones wish, beacuse why not many time it also stops the inner growth, I am not a super attractive person, really really average, and I have my moments of insecurity but I don't let it take over beacuse it's normal to feel this way, and the saying is true you are in charge of your own happiness, as long as you dont mind others, you are happy with yourself, and accept things and accept it's not the only thing in life... it becomes better like your whole life is not how you look, by thinking and clinging to it, you are just making your life worse, and you will be never satisfied, you will always feel missing and lost, and then as your yourself why do we not understand ourselves? True happiness comes from within knowing there are people who love you, you don't need 100s of people around you at the end of the day you are gonna end up with one person or none so why it matters, the inner growth for such people is nil, being comfortable and with content with yourself is a practice. The musk deer always things where is the smell coming from he always runs , here and there till his whole life it drives him crazy, but in actual the smell is coming from his stomach... it's same with happiness and satisfaction. Also in my opinion gentle and clam men are so awsome and humanly, being aggressive and arrogant, feels like the soul of the person has scars and the person dont wanna acknowledge it, you are not an animal, beinv vurnable at times and showing emotions is what makes you human, it is what makes you a living being, living life without showing emotions is not masuline isnt it just dead, like isnt it just like being unalive? Resepectful and emotionally mature men are awsome and what we need, its good for them too being able to understand what you want, respecting others feeling and regulating your emotions normally, is not femmine , its what normal mature human should be or its not less masculine its a common practice which should come to a wise and mature and normal adult, we are not always perfect and its okayyyyy, honestly men who are always agressive alpha beta sigma, are exhusting , a gentle being is healing to soul, not only to others but to its soul as all.

Okay first omg my names on the cup. Secondly didn't know I've been mewing my whole life. Like that's just naturally how my tongue rests in my mouth. Also my boy sent me this so I'm bout to watch the rest and get back to him

unrelated but LOVE THE BROWN HATTT