Healing from Manipulation & Betrayal: Calm Trauma Flooding and Return to Connection

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During relationship crises one can feel flooded and overwhelmed by their partners lies, manipulation, abuse, and poor choices. You have to take deliberate steps to practice healthy coping and fully process your thoughts and feelings as you navigate "next best steps forward." Kristin Snowden, MA, LMFT, CDWF is a licensed therapist and coach that specializes in helping individuals and couples in crisis after infidelity, emotional abuse, and/or uncovering addiction. Betrayed partners get hit with two tidal waves from the trauma: First, the pain of discovering the betrayal and all the chaos that ensues, then they struggle with feeling hijacked and overwhelmed by their emotions and triggers as the continued crisis unfolds. Kristin offers four steps one can use to process through overwhelming emotions and triggers and get back to healing. The four steps are 1) Understand the CONTENT or triggering event 2) Explore the CONTEXT that includes the trauma response, the shame stories, and the painful history related to the trigger 3) Bring back CHOICE and decide how you WANT to respond to this trigger 4) COMMUNICATE your fully processed feelings and experience with your partner (when its safe to do so). This is for anyone in relationship crisis exploring answers and a path to healing and recovery. Relationship crisis can be spurred from uncovering an unknown addiction, cheating/infidelity, porn use, and other forms of betrayal. The constant chaos and instability brought on by lies and manipulation can feel like its taking over your life. You don't have to go through this alone.
(This is educational, NOT THERAPY)
www.kristinsno... | KristinSnowdenMFT@gmail.com
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Timestamps:
1:24 Betrayed partners (BP) have to face the pain of discovering lies at the hand of their trusted partner then they have to struggle through feeling overwhelmed and in constant crisis.
3:00 Constant crisis and trauma can lead betrayed partners to act outside of their character and "who they tend to be"
4:23 The emotional flooding and overwhelm can cause a BP to get trapped in a betraying partner's blaming narrative
6:00 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy "Think - Feel - Behave" chart, goal to fully and healthily process thoughts and feelings
7:03 The Four Steps to stop overwhelm: Content, Context, Choice, and Communication
11:02 Having and experiencing messy emotions is NEVER an excuse for your partner's acting out behaviors
12:45 Step 1 Content is identifying what's happening that is NOT OK
14:58 Step 2 Context is understanding the trauma, shame, stories and history behind what's happening now
17:21 Feelings are chemicals and hormones that create body sensations
20:10 Addicts can use this 4 step process
22:26 Defining shame
25:26 Why you need to fully process thoughts and feelings rather than numb, ignore, distract, and blame
26:30 Step 3 Choice is exploring how you want to respond and cope after they've been processed. What's a congruent, productive response?
30:08 Step 4 Communication to engage your partner, only if he/she has shown evidence of being able to talk about hard things, take accountability and grow from hard conversations
32:24 Process in a group setting if your partner is emotionally unavailable.
Download Kristin's FREE eBook: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Crisis: bit.ly/Relatio... to set you down a path toward healing and clarity. It’s a small collection of education, important first steps, and resources to get you through the initial crisis period.
Need help and guidance now? Get Kristin's Relationship Masterclass: Resiliency & Recovery Access her full online library of eye-opening content, helpful tools, comprehensive workbook, and much more. Options for one-on-one LIVE COACHING with Kristin bit.ly/RRROnlin...
**Join Kristin's LIVE (zoom) WORKSHOPS for betrayed partners and beyond. New sessions posted. bit.ly/Kristins...
Meditation Made Easy with Muse! Get 20% off with code KRISTINSNOWDEN for Muse biofeedback system and app to help with consistency, motivation, tracking, & accountability. Go to choosemuse.com... (I receive a small commission)
** / kristinmsnowden for announcements and discounts
KRISTIN'S FREE LIVE WEBINARS EVERY ODD MONTH, THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH AT 9:30 AM (pacific time) through SexandRelationshipHealing.com . Zoom link: zoom.us/j/2441...
#betrayaltraumarecovery #couplesincrisis #couplestherapy #addictionrecovery #Infidelity #crisismanagement #healthyrelationships
Kristin is the co-author of Life Anonymous: 12 Steps to Heal & Transform Your Life bit.ly/LifeAnon...

Опубликовано:

21 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 11

@cajuncrackerranch7990 2 дня назад

Thank you 🙏 Kristin! This content has been very resonating. 20 years unknowingly married to a woman clinically diagnosed with FULL spectrum Cluster B Personality Disorder with much more classifications hidden behind a well constructed mask… ALL the covert/malignant trauma of emotional, verbal, mental, physical, and financial abuse and destruction burnt images into my neural traces that have branded me for life. A human being does not “just get over it” when blindsided like I have been. It takes time… It takes patience… It takes strength… It takes courage… It takes faith… It takes hope… It takes everything you have and everything you have lost… to stay alert and to stay alive. It is a spiritual battle of the soul; armor up! Thank you 🙏 Peace ✌️

@lolliisabusdriver.4447 4 дня назад

I really appreciate your insight and information. I feel a little less crazy because of what you shared.

@KristinSnowden 4 дня назад

Glad to hear it. That’s what I’m here for….

@prw-v5i 4 дня назад

I got cheated on by my gf. I have to constantly tell myself if she really did care, she wouldn't have cheated on me. There is no respect at all.

@Epic_Lemonade 4 дня назад

My ex is in school to be a marriage and family therapist. I found out she was cheating at the end of July, and after a short break, I really wanted to make it work, but she rejected me. That experience broke me. I thought we'd spend our whole lives together. I don't think I'll ever trust the same, and that goes double for therapists. Despite those feelings, I just wanted to say that your videos have helped me tremendously. Thank you. Maybe I'll survive this and eventually put myself back together.

@acerpalmatum6446 3 дня назад

My Dday was a month before yours. Support groups have become so important in my healing. I hope you can find one!

@KristinSnowden 3 дня назад

@acerpalmatum6446 thank you for sharing that. I’m a fan of support groups as well. I’m glad they’ve helped you

@KristinSnowden 3 дня назад

I can completely understand your cynicism around therapists, women, marriage, anything related to your betrayal.

@fruity_mango6539 3 дня назад

Two children and 21 years together. D day was eight months ago. Now when I have a trigger, he will briefly attempt to “hold space“. But then he doesn’t want to anymore. He said that it’s already been eight months and that I need therapy Because he’s sick of having to walk on eggshells“. Then he likes to minimize and say “it was just porn”. “I only went to a strip club and got a lap dance once”. “You only caught me attempting to have one affair“ “I only kissed your friends neck, right in front of you one time” now with the fallout, and his children not respecting him, he blames me. He tells me that because I haven’t modeled respect for them, that it is my fault that they look at him the way they do. He told me that I am “manipulative and a liar, and that I gaslight him“. this was all the other night where the conversation went, when I had a trigger and brought it up to him. I ended up defending myself.

@MarinaM-o6p 4 дня назад

😂 what connection ?? If he cheated he doesn’t not have a connection with the cheated on .

@KristinSnowden 4 дня назад

“Return to connection” is generally applied to mean that you can work through emotional flooding and regain connection with yourself, your feelings, your instincts, and others you deem trustworthy.