😭😭😭….I cried and laughed, cried and laughed with this. Mark my brother from another mother, thank you for this video. Truly, I thank you. Thank you for putting language to a lot of how we are feeling and going through. Thank you for the tools to be overcomers. Thank you for creating a space for many of us to be vulnerable so we can heal from the inside and out. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I grew up in a very very abusive family and never felt safe. I appease to stay safe and get through a situation. I thought I had gotten past this point. Just fell back in it the past few days and I get so mad at myself! I literally just had this exact conversation at dinner today.
7:00 I hear ya. This is so needed. It reminds me of the episode of sponge bob where he is out of the water with Sandy the squirrel and he is dehydrating! He is killing himself because He needs water (because he is a sponge!)! We can't give and give and give without filling ourselves. Thank you Mark. Amen.
I need to watch that! So agree. I feel so many times that I’m “Losing Power” when I’ve put myself in a situation that is out of my “world” to accommodate others.
Wow!! In the beginning I felt like you were describing me one year ago!! It's so nice to see how God has brought delivery and healing to my soul and mind!! Now I just need to keep it and never go back!!! Thank you so much for the video!! May God bless you so much!!!
My son's constant anger and fiery temper when anything is discussed which he doesn't like. He goes mad! We tip toe around him, constantly trying to placate him. It's terribly stressful and makes us not enjoy being at home, the one place we're meant to feel safe and relaxed.
2:50 - 2:59 If only I were that honorable . . . no, my response to familial chaos or conflict, I would usually to go into passive mode, because while I did always feel loved, I didn't feel I was necessary or had an important role in my family. I was always told about how lucky and blessed I was to be shielded from certain things so I indirectly got the message that whatever pain I went through shouldn't be there and if it is, then it is all my fault and it means I have weak character because I have been given everything and if I fail, well, it's because of me. And I feel like there is a lot of truth to that. But at the same time, it does make it hard for me to say when something's wrong because I have been programmed to think that I should not only not feel pain, but that I should already know how to deal with it because of all I have been given.
How do you overcome this and be confident is using your own “voice”! I have a voice and will too…..I hate when people are in my face and I back down. I get so mad at myself for not being able to express what I’m trying to say/feel.
I'm a Japanese guy, so I have two languages going on in my mind. Usually I'm talking to God and repenting both ways. I did write my testimony down before I had a stroke. I'm on a nonstop obsession journey.
all the time.. it was so bad that i feel this immense pressure to evangelize 24/7, even when im doing things for myself to relax, or just pumping gas, i'd get intrusive thoughts that command me to "save" the people around me. i grew up in an extremely violent and abusive home with police and cps checking in on me when i was 6-7. of course, when i was pulled aside at my elementary school to talk to the social worker, i somehow knew how to lie in that situation, and told her that everything is fine at home, that i wasnt being abused (i was never the subject of the violence, but learned to mask and dissociate from my surroundings in order to survive), and faked a smile. i think i vaguely remember my parents saying something like "if the social worker comes, don't tell them anything," and of course, i didn't want to be taken away from my family so lying became a very instinctual defense mechanism since i was a child. ive paid for meals for random people on the street coming up to me when i originally used that time to clear my mind. sometimes i have a tendency to mistake the suffering of others as some sort of "test" from God to be a good samaritan or if he put these people in my general vicinity at that exact place and time. i remember having to be a therapist to my parents at age 10-12 (and maybe younger), trying to talk them out of threatening to kill themselves or each other, walking up and walking into the kitchen and finding it completely wrecked with holes in the wall, glass on the floor, and food stained all over the cabinets. or just walking into a random room and seeing my father weep alone, only for him to burst out in a psychotic rage moments later. so none of the adults in my life were emotionally stable or autonomous figures growing up and i was the "strongest" person in my family for the longest time (who didnt have full symptoms of trauma manifest into a traumatized nervous system, etc. YET....), until last year, where after speaking out online against my ex who sexually assaulted me, i was suddenly met with a court mandated restraining order where he falsified abuse accounts and played the victim and manipulated the system just to take revenge on me for outing him. had to see him in court again, and the judge sided with him, didnt even read my statement and evidence provided to refute him (turns out if you even have a measly fifty ONE percent of evidence that seems convincing enough--they call it "preponderance of evidence," they'll grant you the restraining order) ive recieved a lot of healing already along with deliverance, but there are moments where i find myself falling back into these performance based patterns to feel in good standing with God and being still and receiving is still something that i struggle with. i would like to be healthier in establishing boundaries with people, because once i notice doing something thats based in trauma, i get this self protective anger that's from years and years of neglecting myself and decide to not help anyone. and then comes the condemnation, telling me im selfish, narcissistic, etc. its difficult because while i have healed a lot from whats happened within the last 3 years, my mind has been so conditioned by rumination and i still occasionally struggle with emotional flashbacks and have the voices of past abuse echo back and forth in my mind.
Thank you Mark. I love your books and viedos. Learning to love my self. I appreciate what you said about guilt. I felt like a was maybe neglected. I was always caretaking. I was confused about love and guilt. I'm learning what love is.
I know the feeling of the symptom of in Ptsd , the hypervigilent. "The role to feel safe as you are " Yes!!, EXACTLY!! If a caregiver was angry id be a peace keeper when little. " . Yes!!! Relateable!!
I need this, Excellent teaching; this guilt is my immediate family, this is how I was raised by my Mother family.. My stepfather was Abusive physically and verbally towards my mom. Thank you Mark.
Yes but it also was like I'm trying to live my life but all these issues are going on that is stopping me from moving forwards but aslo should be part of my growdiscipline. And the battle of wanting and did do more and also not wanting to something even out of obligation. And started to believe people were helping me by asking for them to help them then my mind set changed to see how I was manipluated then ended up doing the same to others when I broke down and "rebelled" not wanting to help anyone even if they asked and gotten to the point "now what". That's what I envisioned the simple life when I got married stay at home mother and Husband that would work and take the leader role (like my father). I had it to a point but also had my own issue connection christ like attitude and relationship connection. It seemed like it stared good but could see some faults due to Christian standards. And got into a comfort zone. Then That belief and fear also took on me (and still does beacuse I spirraled worse instead to in prove in thoughts or actions I got overwhilemed with more lack of doing and just didn't want to do it)
" feedin false responders " " they're always goin goin " " they dont know how to how to sit in silence " . I've seen countless church goers like this. Some close relationships , some not..
