As someone who read the book on recommendation, I will say Colleen Hoover is an excellent writer. She evokes such strong emotions in me, and I must thank her for that. Never have I ever wanted to burn a book more than when I read... that thing.
If you read her other books, you probably agree with fans. Cause the others just... Skip just skip it. Many of her books like other romance book that look like have same template. Extremely handsome. Good body. Etc
the same thing with "cuties" by netflix, which was originally named "miginonnes" and had a much more tame poster than the one we know and hate today. wtf
My mother was in an abusive relationship with my father, and never left him. They were seperated by death. And people asking things like 'why did you stay in an abusive relationship?" Simple question- you still love them. Colleen wrote Ryle as a man who was honesly a decent guy until he hit Lilly. That's it. Versus in real life, instead of seeing a man who hit her-- my mother was in love with the man she first met. It didn't make sense in It ends with us- there needed to be signs of abuse and there weren't. Not only did Colleen write a terrible novel, but she portrayed physically abusive relationships TERRIBLY. Colleen should have had knowledge, and known what she was writing about. And even if she did, abuse isn't something to potray as a romance novel.
As someone who stayed in an abusive marriage far too long, I find it really painful when I hear people say things like "no one understands why women stay in abusive relationships. It's unfathomable." What do you mean it's unfathomable? It was my life! Why is my experience so hard to empathise with? Why do people have to write controversial books for people to have a glimpse into understanding? Can't you hold my hand and hear me say that I experienced it, that I'm a real person with real feelings and that this could happen to anyone?
Sadly, I think a lot of people either have to have found themselves in an abusive relationship (particularly when they always thought it could never happen to them 🙋♀️) or have had to invest time into studying the cycle of abuse to understand. I’m so glad you’re on the road to healing now, friend. Hopefully more will find understanding without living it.
@@solarydays Thinking you're smart enough to avoid being taken advantage of is one of the warning signs you'll be taken advantage of. Listen to your last sentence and then reread your second sentence--it's difficult to make people see things they don't believe in, such as red flags in someone they want.
It's the same as me when i was hearing "Fifty Shades!" "Fifty Shades!" everywhere and then i read the first page and went.... "this is the book everyone's going crazy over???? ITS GARBAGE!"
What I find very disturbing is that 50 shades and other "dark romance" novels sell and romanticize manipulative men. They make women believe that the bad boys will change with enough love. But "my dark Vqnessa" tells the truth how these stories end and is by far not that popular
@@Simpleandslowlivingmy mother is currently reading this book! She has good taste in books and i am sure it's better than whatever Coleen is trying to achieve
“Because if its not a love story… then what is it?” I’m literally sobbing bro, the red balloon is an incredible way to approach it, I feel so genuinely sorrowful for Vanessa and I’ve only known of her snippets of minutes :(
I read “Verity” by her when it was first released. I was visiting my sister and my 15 year old niece recommended I read it because according to her, “It was the best thriller mystery novel she'd ever read”. Sitcom laughter noises to that comment. I have no idea why a 15 year old should be reading a book like that but, I decided not to pry. A year later, I was at a bookshop and one of the workers there recommended this book to me. This absolute lowest piece of mankinds thoughts put into paper. The thought that a demographic of teens are growing up reading such works just... appalls me. These are the same teens who'd read Wuthering Heights and think it's a romance novel. Who'd sympathize with and see Hannibal Lectre as a role model. These are the same people who read Lolita and try to defend the actions of Humbert. It's horrible to say the least.
@@aychazyt6987 well cause most people read it as kind of a romance/revenge story. I don't think it's meant to be read like that. You won't get the sense of satisfaction from it as The Count of Monte Cristo. You gotta read it as a tragedy. When I read this, the decisions, the motivations behind those decisions felt...almost realistic.
@@katsuo3228 that's kinda why I hate it ig. Both the main characters are so toxic and cruel and all the good people in their lives have to suffer for it. That made me wanna smack the both of them lol. Also I don't see how it's a tragedy considering most tragedies go from "good & normal" to "everyone's dead". To me, it was more like a story that explores how cruel and sadistic people can be. Plus the ending doesn't feel all that tragic to me tbh
@@aychazyt6987 they were meant to be toxic though. And it doesn't romanticize their toxicity. Catherine Earnshaw suffered mentally till her death due to the decisions she made and Heathcliffe literally went insane due to his obsessive love towards Catherine. And then many people suffering throughout their lives all due to some misunderstanding, ill-made decisions and too much emotion towards someone leading to insanity, felt tragic to me. Ending is something I didn't like either at first but then I thought, after what those kids went through, they deserve it.
My Dark Vanessa makes me think of myself. My dad had started getting severely ill at 12, and a teacher at my junior school proceeded to groom me. He made it seem like i was the one in control, and how my body distracted him. He would make me feel like the only girl in a class full of my peers. I only realised at 21 how horrible it was. Vanessa needed to be protected 💔. This is why books like It Ends With Us feel so harmful to young girls and women and how they can rationalise terrible people and acts when they don't acknowledge the harm of the behaviours.
I don’t like most booktok commentary videos because they an echo of the same thing. “It’s awfully written, it’s cringy and it has the most diabolical thing I have read.” But it doesn’t dig further into why that is so I really enjoyed this one.
This video is pure art. The way you decided to talk about a serious topic that needs to be talked about, in a beautiful way without losing the important point or falling into any wrong idea. I love how you used the passages of Vanessa in relation with the whole thing.
Istg in my German course the teacher asked people what books they would recommend… and everyone who raised their hand recommended this shit, without exception 😭
I want to go back to the times that romance novels had actual plot and development between the two mcs and not just “her boobs boobed boobily,” and “he was 11’6 tall and had a 12 pack.”
"her florist's steampunked quirkily, anticipating the first erotic punchkiss, while his violent 12 pack twerked with dark helpless tension. They had baby the end"
See thats the thing. The book isn't even bad. It's the romanticizing of ryle that is bad. Colleen wrote the book to make people get out of toxic relationships. But the young girlies are just finding ryle hot and defending him (I know some). I don't think that adding smut in this book was a good idea
@@zyrevelvrein2388 And of course she wrote it as something that sexually turns the audience on. Some people don't know how to write disgusting things or either they are turned on by what they went through without even realizing. Eventually they didn't went through it and just wrote it sexualizing it because they can't just relate to people who went through it. And so they write it while unintentionally sexualizing the serious subject because they let their fantasy carry them a little too much. Mostly seen with people who are less emphatic as children and teenagers. Hence why abusive relationship fantasy is seen as "hot" among younger female audience.
your coverage of my dark vanessa was really beautifully done👏 i haven’t brought myself to read it yet because lolita was extremely difficult to get through but your commentary was very well framed
Y'know I kinda wonder if Colleen Hoover romanticises abusive relationships because of her upbringing and thinking as a kid that was what romance was and brought it into adulthood and her books. just food for thought
My mother and grandmother both love Colleen Hoover books, and they cannot understand why I hate them so much. Somebody said that Colleen Hoover books are for women who never got to read Ao3 fan fiction in middle school and I agree.
This is an absolutely amazing video. You make art with this medium and it makes me feel and think about just as much as the source material, if not more. Thank you for sharing.
I'm speechless, the way you presented this heavy topic in a consise way like this is incredible. I've never seen a book commentary so well made, one that isn't just criticising but actually showing why it is bad by comparison, it's super effective. Also your voice is really soothing
this is fucking amazing. as a victim of sexual exploitation this is a perfection explanation of how to properly handle it and abuse in relationships, your video invoked such deep emotions in me and it was so beautiful 💓💓
I was looking for a video to work on my uni tests, the title was funny, and the memes were funny, but believe me when I say the ending FUCKED ME UP, like I straight up stop working and just stared at the screen for a few minutes bcs I was not expecting so much emotion, it was amazing
I was recommended this book by a classmate. I was complaining to her that how in so many books the girls choose to stay with their abusive partners and I am just left screaming at the woman to see the truth that I can so painfully see. She said I should read this book. So, I picked it up. I admit I was told Ryle is not to be trusted. So, I did not. But, I question myself if I hadn't known would I have liked him? Would I have fallen for him? Would I be like many who praised him only to say well, he had to be bad for collen hoover to prove a point? I think after much deliberation the answer is I would have been fooled and then devastated by the character that Ryle was. Not because I would have glazed over the many awful things he does but because of what Lily and I both wanted. A love story. A happily Ever After. A belief that he could be what he should be. And, when the first slap had ringed, I think the silence would have too deafening. Because again, "How can he slap her?" As a woman, I do not know how men work. I have never known, So, I always tried to understand and ask myself one thing; Do I deserve this? Does any other woman deserve this? If the answer is no than it does not matter that it could have been a love story or that his life was destroyed. What matters is that he dared to do something bad. Honestly, I did not understand this hate for Collen Hoover, I thought she did a brave thing writing a book on an important topic. But, I did not know that she romanticized the Ryle that vile. I haven't read any of her other books. I did not think I'd like them, But, I did not think she supported abuse. At least I was happy not knowing that, now that I do she is another person I do not know but maybe dislike. How weird is internet, it is so easy to find people who we can dislike rather than like.
The writing in the book is such that it portrays Ryle's horrible behaviour in a romantic way when that kind of behaviour shouldn't be considered romantic in the first place. I don't think Colleen Hoover is a horrible person or that she supports abuse, I would never know that, but she is a terrible writer which can be harmful and detrimental.
honestly even if you genuinely believe this book is good and doesnt glorify abuse, just look at verity, or literally any of her other famous books. all of them have abusive main characters, and none of these male characters are ever portrayed in a negative light. its always supposed to be “hot” that theyre controlling and horrible people. plus, you claim she did a “brave thing” but that wasnt her intention at all. she may have accidentally written a single good point in her horrible book, but the entire rest of the book she intended for Ryle to be a positive character. she intended this despite his actions, even at the beginning where he wasnt a good person. Honestly i think you should read some of her other books, because so many of her male leads follow the trend of being generally bad people, one of them even rapes the female lead though i dont remember which book that was. and none of this behavior is ever treated as negative or wrong. its fine to have characters who arent inherently good but never acknowledging that they arent good people is what ends up glorifying abuse, which is exactly what colleen hoovers books do. its made worse considering that her audience is mostly impressionable teenage girls who could start believing that this abuse is in fact romantic
I would recomend watchugn revolutionary girl utena for an actual pov of abuse that reflectw the victim's confusion as it is but doesn't excuse it like trash author Hoover. It's free on youtube
This hit me in a way I didn't even know I could be. Just...wow. I don't need to be told why women stay in abusive relationships, I've been there, and I think all it really takes is some empathy and self awareness to understand it otherwise. And yet, your delivery of Vanessa's story...I *felt* that, in all it's heartbreaking and despairing intensity. You took me from a place of detached curiosity to immersed responsiveness, and that deserves recognition. Nevermind this misguided and irresponsible attempt by Colleen, you managed to convey it in a way I don't think text alone could. You took Elizabeth's work and channeled the soul it was made with.
My take on this book is that you cant really sincerely say that CoHo was"actually trying to create awareness abt what its like to be in an abusive relationship ". Not when the whole "plot" Revolves around ryle being soo hot and soo misunderstood. Its giving "i know this isnt you jason" 💀
i feel like coho should stick to writing thriller horror novels with teenage girls as the protagonists. i know the ellen letters are cringe but to be honest i felt like her writing was at its best during those parts since it delves into that teenage mental process pretty well. not understanding why her mother just wouldn't leave because her father is an abusive piece of shit, yet also longing for those fleeting moments when her father can actually fulfill his role as a good parent and husband. it was surprisingly nuanced and tense at points, even with the simplistic writing. now if only she wasn't addressing them to ellen out of all people, and all the other horrid flaws of this book...
Funny thing is I actually had the idea about writing a story about a teenage girl who is groomed by her teacher, but she thinks it's just a forbidden romance until she grows up and realizes what actually happened. Then I found out it already exists, and it's called "My Dark Vanessa." Great minds think alike, I guess.
Absolutely outstanding and an instant subscription. Holy hell, your voice for narrating, along with voice acting, is absolutely impeccable and packs so much emotion. I wasn’t expecting this much of an in depth video from the title alone, but I’m so so glad I clicked on it. One of my new favorite videos. Fantastic job 🫶
I think this is one of the best video essay I've seen. It's just amazing. Your voice, the question you asking, the quotes...All this things are ideal for a really serious themat, altough you handled this problem so incredibly. Once again, I LOVE your voice and sure it's gonna be one of my favourites video. Thank you !! :3
That last line reminds me of a quote I read. "Every painting I make must be a masterpiece." "But why?" "To make up for the fact that it's me who is making it." Thank you for putting so much time into such a beautiful video
you took this feeling I’ve been holding inside of me for years, and you’ve given it a voice - I don’t know how to thank you for it, but I feel that I must
I clicked thinking this was a video essay about a book called "It Ends With This Book", wich I thought was a horrifying psychologycal and/or philosophical book. Reading the title "Heaven is for people who haven't read this book" also gave me that impression, right now I'm 1:21 seconds into the video, and now know that all the assessments I made prior were utterly and unmistakably incorret, and yet, here i still am, for i love (what i think it'll be) a review/roast of a horrible YA book whose author inserted weird (if not criminal) power dynamics, thank you for the content, I'll return in about 20min to say if it subsided my neverending hunger and entertained my rapidly declining in attention spam brain, bon appetit
I have a very good friend (female) who reads Hoover's books, including 'It Ends with Us' and something called 'It starts with us' or something (I don't remember well). She and I have been friends since 3rd Grade (now we're in 9th) and trust me, despite having same class, same school and same apartment, we are polar opposites. She grew up reading such books which are 16-18+ since 3rd grade while I grew up reading folktales, autobiographies, children novels etc (I still read age appropriate books) She tells me how emotionally matured she is by indulging on such interests since 9-10 years old, reading such books and trust me, that's where the line between a matured and immature teenager is drawn. I won't say that I have gained 100% of emotional maturity before even turning 18 but I can tell that I'm still alot emotionally matured than my friend by how and what kind of decisions she makes and topics she talks about with me, along with what kind of friend she makes. She CANNOT fit in the groups of academically smart people (specifically talking about my group where everyone gets the highest grades, including myself) she does feel extreme jealousy in finding me fitting in such groups. She fits more in the groups of females who...are basically like herself. My group is innocent, trust me when I say this, because all we do focus on is in academics and all the dirty topics we hear and know are generally from everyone else outside our group. I won't say that NO young teenagers should read Hoover's books because it's completely not my business to pick on, but I'll just say that young teenagers who often grow up reading such books, ends up having a polluted mindset and mind. I mean young teenagers are not really supposed to know SO much about sexual stuffs (talking about early teens like 13-14) they should not be so much exposed to such stuffs where they end up not taking the actual animal reproduction as a part of science chapter in schools seriously. In my class when my teacher first opened the chapter to teach us about it, the entire class for a second felt silence and then started laughing (it can make any other student uncomfortable by the way they laughed) and the teacher ended up skipping it for the next exam... It's no good. I have myself seen so many classmates of my own, even friends like the girl, having an unpleasant aura and personality to tolerate (I have high tolerance) but in the end I just wanna say that there should actually be age restriction in huge letters at the front page of such books, not just Hoover's, because that's when concerned and protective parents who are often found most of the time in their work, can be alerted, if not, it's in their hands, but either way....that might still bring a good change in our current and future generations.
I really like how you impressed upon viewers the gravity of the topic by using atmospheric elements like memes at the start to end with a sombre piano piece and a powerful quote, as the review turned from slight mockery to deeper dive on the subject matter. Thanks to algorithm for rec-ing this. Your review was art on its own, well researched and presented!
12:33 facts. I haven’t read any of her books I am pretty much shocked about this story what on earth was on her mind to write such a story It’s like she is “romanticised” this kind of relationships Which is absolutely wrong and nonsense
...She outright says what was on her mind, she wanted to write a story about how women stay in abusive relationships. Romanticizing abusive relationships is part of abuse and makes sense for a book about an abusive relationship. That's not the problem with a badly written book.
@@cam4636 you do have a point but still my mind can’t accept such a stories to be published because many girls may start romanticize this kind of things
@@cam4636 Honestly that feels like an excuse. The writing is not good and self aware enough to portray that part of an abusive relationship, it's clearly sold as a romantic story and many fans see it as such so 🤷
@@ijustbored4379 I love Lolita BUT because it is disgusting. I read that book and felt like tearing all my organs out and my skin off. I love the way it was written but I hate the stuff that happened to Lolita and that is not something to be romanticized, as you said.
the sad thing is that this could have been a good book. colleen could have written a story criticizing the culture that romanticizes abusive behavior from men, for young girls and teaches them accept it as normal or even passionate as well as showing where those romanticized red flags actually lead in a relationship. instead she wrote the very thing she could have brilliantly satirized.
I'm only on the beginning of the video and omg, your editing and comedic timing are 10/10! I already want to subscribe lol but gonna wait to watch the whole thing
I love the way you narrated this whole thing❤️ The way you talked about the serious topics really sucked me in. And the jokes in the beginning actually made me chuckle.
Actually...I clicked on this video because it started to autoplay and then Caleb Joseph showed up. And I was like "I AM SAT". The editing of this is IMPECCABLE.
I read a book that infuriated me once, because the main character shared a name with me. (My dead name, and no, I’m not telling) It’s hard to imagine another book provoking the same rage THAT particular book did. It was riddled with typos, had far too many moments where the characters emotional states were going in circles and not making any real growth, repeated sexual abuse that was NOT warned about, premises and a world that was not fully exploited, and on top of all that- the most disappointing, undeserved, and unsatisfying ending I have ever suffered through. Somehow, someway, I think Colleen Hoover’s books would make me angrier.
This is so good, so so so so so so so gooooooood I'm screaming giggling kicking my feet in the air cackling crying throwing up. Thanks, I hate it. Subscribed. I hope you get more popular so many more people get destroyed by your writing :)
I absolutely love this video I don't really know what to say other than that, just Everything about how you constructed this feels so emotional and on point
I won't drag this on as i am sure other people in the comments have done a much better job than i will ever be able to do. This is an absolute masterpiece of a video, thank you so much.
This is first time I watch your video and I must say that you are incredibly talented, you have mesmerising voice, music and paintings create amazing background, for a long time I don't see such a interesting video, not only wise but also beautiful. Great job ❤
This video hit home very deeply because my father was abusive, he never made it sexual, but I connect deeply with a lot of what was quoted from “My Dark Vanessa” and have found myself saying to myself a lot of what she said in it… my mom and sibling got away from it almost 7 years ago and the trauma still haunts me to this day. Thank you for making this video, it made me feel seen and sympathized with.
Why do women stay in abusive relationships? They stay in abusive relationships until they realise that these relationships are going nowhere, and that becomes the moment they start fighting back.
I usually never comment, but I started watching this video with criticism and now I end the video with tears. You described exactly how it feels in abusive situations sexually specifically for me was the most relatable. Though from the beginning when you showed us how Collen developed the abuser at the beginning of the book I was repulsed by how she developed the character, But how the mind of Lily is described makes me reconsider the book all together.
