+TheAshMaster1000 They are in South Korea. Her niece is supposed to respect her for raising her, that carries a lot of weight. They should have addressed it, but you can't expect them to handle it like America. ("JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!") This is a definite case of the aunt building up her innocence early and it being very clear that she doesn't think she does ANYTHING wrong--it's kinda freaky...she calls the police and doesn't trust her, and clearly she has no life because she is CHOOSING not to and is narcissistically raising her niece to feel like she owes her for raising her somehow. How someone can pull a knife on another person, then be surprised about it, is beyond me.
i think the aunty isnt innocent in this situation. a child wont grow up to be so against her caregiver like that if nothing had happened to them as a child.
The girl mentioned a knife and it was completely ignored. What the hell? I've had a very strict upbringing to the point where I thought I might've been disowned if I didn't act perfectly, but never has a knife been in the picture. Why would you ever hold up a knife up to someone you care about? I don't care how much money you spent on them, if they give you no respect, whatever, why would you threaten her well-being like that? It's one thing to pull her hair or hit her, but the knife is too much. Personally, I'd be scared of my aunt at that point and do everything I could to stay as far away from her as I could.
i cant say for sure that her case is the same or similar to mine but my mum occasionally pull the "knife threatening act" as well. i dont really know how to say this but never once did my sister, brother or me as well feel threaten (physically) bcoz of that. we just know "ahh mum is realllllllly angry this time" (lol, it pretty obvious, i know). we just know that this mean we should shut up n listen to watever she has say. i mnt the girl did just sed "she pulled the knife out" maybe all she did was pull the knife out from the drawer n not really anything else. that is the case with my mum. my friend who is asian as well sed her mum just do that sometime as well n either of us know that our mothers is just angry n that she wouldnt do anything dangerous with it so we never really think too much about it. i do think that the aunt is a bit obsessive calling her at 8 and all that but i thibk she is the one who earn that distrust first. i meant with the running away n the so called "bad friends", any mother would b worried. she sacrifice most of her life n even spend money on something like plastic surgery for her so i think u can say for sure that she love her. i think it's a lie if anyone in her position say they dont expect anything in return (they would want the child to at least love them back n respect them). and to be frank, i cant see that from the neice. she doesnt seem like she care too much. they relationship should have a mother-daughter feel since her aunt raise her up from the age of 1, but she treat her aunt like some annoying aunty. i think anyone in her shoe would feel betrayed too. i hope she changed and realize that she shouldnt take sth like this for granted.
riko chan I understand where you're coming from. I consider hitting to be normal as a punishment for doing something wrong. There's a borderline with where it's fine and where it's abuse. I guess you could say the same about the knife, in your case. I think both sides have issues. I think the niece sees her aunt as an enemy because her aunt does trust her, sent her to a mental hospital, and pulled a knife on her. The aunt may have had her reasons, but the niece had no idea how to react. All of those things together, not knowing why they're happening is scary. However, the aunt really wants the niece to behave and doesn't want her to do bad things that will destroy her life. So she does things that don't really provide the best results. For me, my parents were always worried about my chances of getting into a good college and other people trying to ruin my life. So they screamed at me since I was a small child to get A's and told me that I couldn't have any friends. I understand where they were coming from, but it didn't really yield the best results in me. Especially since I was as obedient as possible and came out with no social skills (which is terrible in a country where that's the basic thing you are supposed to develop before grades). I don't really know what they can do other than try to understand each other more. However, it's a bit difficult if they don't really talk about things.
CuteKitten321 yeah i do agree that both side have issues. issues that can only be solved if they both work together to do so. i do think the aunt want that but just chooses the wrong method to do so. however i dont really see the niece wanting it as much, she doesnt really appear to be very grateful for all the things her aunt does for her nor does she appear to really want to listen or respect her aunt wishes. but obviously i could b totally wrong. i dont know the girl nor the aunt so i wouldnt know what they are like. n seeing them from the programme isnt always accurate since most programme edit thing out to appears certain way. but what i am trying to say here is that i think both party are at fault. but the difference is that the aunt accept that to a certain degree n wishes to change (n probably will compromise with the niece wish to a certain degree also) but the niece just keep seeing the aunt as an enemy, not like a family that turn into an enemy that one usually wish to change back or mend the relationship, just an outsider kind of feel enemy. i hope after the show, she realize that that it is not the case.
Is everyone just gonna ignore the fact that she pulled a knife on her? Like I get the odd smack here and there when you misbehave (part of the culture too) but A KNIFE?!?!??! That's scary
I didn't really think it was too weird I was like oh okay because my father always did it to scare us into behaving well Actually he has left a cut on my leg once before... I forget how old I was though maybe like 13. I just can't agree with the aunt but that girl is a brave soul, whenever my dad pulls my hair out I wouldn't dare lift a finger. I know that it's shocking to some people and other cultures but there's nothing that can be done a lot of the times families guilt victims from getting actual help saying it's a "personal family" matter that shouldn't be shared, or that they'll be unhappy/without a roof and food if they report the parent. That's why we can't go to the authorities but things like that can happen in many countries with strict dictator-styled asian parents present. The only thing I was surprised about was that the aunt actually sent in a concern thinking she wouldn't be exposed, we can read the lines between bullies and victims pretty well and obviously the aunt isn't innocent at all. I'm waiting for the day I can move out, I think the realest solution this girl has (considering the social aspects that surround her situation) the best thing she can do is move out and never, ever, look back.
My dad and my oldest brother sometimes takes out knife, when they fight with other people who are relative or friends, They don't stab them but try to show fear. The aunt took care of her, feed her , made her have clothes to wear... They also give shelter to her yet she disobeys her rules(food,cloths,money)... I think if she is not happy than she should leave without giving the family hard time, Just straight up tell the aunt " i cannot live here, i can't stand you being strict to the me, Thank You for everything...Please don't look for me" ... I know the aunt was also not right... She should have tried to talk to her instead of using violence.
My mother was did it too to me coz she was too angry of me. I was really bad daughter. Always did bad things and always against him in my rebel teen days. Now when I think of it, I really felt sorry for all those bad things that I've done and for always made her cried because of me. When I saw my nieces rebelling her mother or me, now I know how's my mother was felt and what my nieces done is not as bad as what I've done tho. As you said, its might part of our different culture with the western.
Being a teenager is not an excuse for bad behavior or attutude, if they want trust and freedom don't just ask for, prove that you deserve it.That girl is still lucky, some parents gave up with their children when they left home.
I don't want to argue, just stating my point of view. You aren't Asian, so you don't know how much stress we get everyday. In our culture, physical discipline is more than just common. We get stress from everything. Korea have the highest teenage suicide rates. In Asian culture, academics and results are literally everything. We have to do good in exams or we're just a failure, our parents would be disappointed in us, teachers will give up on us and we won't be able to survive in the society.Everything is academics, that's the sole thing in our lives. Unlike Americans and other ppl, we seldom go to parties,seldom have fun, seldom hang out with friends, everyone's just studying. In Korea, all students study an average of more than 15 hours a day. They go to school 7+ am and reach home 10 or even 11+ pm at night. There are many perspectives towards a matter, I just want you to know about what we go through everyday.
Honestly, I can't come to hate the girl. I myself grew up in a strict family and have went through many things she did, but mine's worse. Because I'm bad in my studies, my mother say hurtful things to me and both my parents beat me up. My father used many things such as canes, fishing ropes, bamboo stick, broom, slippers, chair, hangers, glass, cups and many more to hit me.I often get out the beating with blood and wounds. The worst is when he use his bare hands and legs to pull my hair, kick me and punch, that's the most painful. Honestly, that's what many of us are going through now.I kind of feel insulted by your comment cause u don't really know just how much we're going through everyday and how much we endure to get by each day.I have a dream that's probably my everything, but my parents stop it and want me to become a lawyer. Really, we're just dolls.If u hadn't go through any of that,u won't understand.
I've ran out of house before too, cause I seriously can't stand it sometimes. I bet the girl's going through the same thing as me too, cause as she said, her mom even pulled out a knife during a fight. Everywhere I go, my parents want me to take a photo and send it to her, she calls my friends to check on me and even stalk me at times. It takes a lot to be Asian. It's been more than once for many Asians going through the same thing as me to think about suicide, let alone thinking bout 'I would rather be in a orphanage'. Honestly, I'd be happier. At least, I know I can chase for my dreams and do the things I want to do in life. If it wasn't for My dream, I wouldn't' expectations already been dead. If it wasn't for BTS, I wouldn't have found an escape in life. U know how Korean students live? They tear up each other's notebooks and often ruin each other's projects to get no.1 themselves. It isn't just fake kdrama material, I've seen it too many times with my own eyes.
It's not an Asian culture but its more common in Asian families. My whole family is asian but my parents were never strict to me and my sister. Occasionally we get scolded but that's only when we misbehave. Most of the people I know have parents that aren't strict to the extend of physical displine too. So, please don't say it's an "ASIAN" culture, even though I do know that Korea has crazy discipline standard. thanks (:
trust is something you have to earn, not given. If she's been playing with bad kids, smoking and doing bad stuff I think it is very acceptable of her aunt to be more guarded and protective towards her as she is treating her as her own daughter. be more mature. maturity doesnt come with age. she's dedicated her own life and treating her as her own daughter
The aunt is way too obsessive with the girl, but at the same time, she shouldn't have been doing bad stuff like running away, smoking, and drinking. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. But I agree with that guy who said that she's taking her aunt for granted. The aunt really could have let her go to an orphanage. She was 27 and wasn't very wealthy. She shouldn't be acting like a troubled child when her aunt does a lot for her. At the same time, taking out a knife could be a bit scary.
u're right when u're scared, mad, nervous u just start acting uncontrollably..we can't hold that against them. but they can stop whatever that is causing it to happen :)
inft_boy.scouts true. I get that the aunt did basically save her from what could have been a horrid life, and yes, the niece should be grateful. But at the same time, pulling a knife on someone? Scary and obsessive as hell. Both of them have a bit to learn from this.
Doesn’t matter what the niece did, pulling a knife on someone is never ok! It is never ok! Self defense is one thing, but this is diff. This is clearly caused by frustration and anxiety. The aunt should be the one who goes to a mental institution or see a therapist to learn how to relax and stay cool. There’s so much you can teach and protect your offsprings, and after that you need to let go and let them to live their lives and face consequences. It’s a beautiful thing that the aunt raised the girl and gave up marriage and have a family of her own; however it was the aunt’s choice and the niece isn’t a property to own and control. Ppl need to learn there’s a diff between being protective vs controlling. I’m team niece.
The aunt was that kind of person who easily get angry and not show her love but she work hard to make her niece feel happy and satisfied and for the niece too she knew how many sacrifices her aunt offered for her but she didn't show her grateful to that ... so both of them failed in express their love to each other causing this problems between the two of them
나쁜 애들이랑 어울려다니고 맨날 거짓말이나 일삼으니 뭔 말을 해도 안 믿지. 네가 믿게 행동을 해봐라. 말 안한다고 때리고 말 한다고 뭐라고 했다고? 에효~안봐도 훤함. 감히 부모가 얘기하는데 노려보면서 말을 씹었으니까 때린거고, 부모한테 말 함부로 막하고 말대꾸하니까 뭐라고 한거지. 그리고 상황에 따라 다른거지 그걸 저능아도 아니고 이건 이거 아니냐고 징징거리고 있냐. 미래가 훤하다.
That is too much, I just can't take the side of the aunt at all. The niece is in the right for me, I understand that drinking and smoking is bad but maybe the aunt was just so untrusting to her and maybe just doing all sorts of things that made her feel distressed and was forced to rely on smoking. The aunt is just too possessive, all she's doing is adding points for people to feel sorry for her in my opinion. I mean pulling a knife out on a person you're raising is just ridiculous, there's other ways to do things. The aunt should give the child more freedom and trust if she wants the girl to be better. The aunt is just putting an excuse saying that I gave up everything to raise you. If she wants the girl to act better, she needs to be better herself
I also hate it when my parents make me feel indebted to them. I already know that. They don't have to slap it in my face. I agree with what Yeongja's niece said. Parents should never say those words to their child. I am thankful for all the things my parents did and gave to me. But if we see it on another perspective, it is their decision to have me, to raise me. It is their responsibility to provide for me. All teenagers think like that. When I first heard those words, I wanted to prove them that I don't need them. From then, everything started to go wrong. My rebellion stopped when I realized that I am only ruining my life and all the repercussions are only for me. I strugglednto change and my parents met me halfway. That is the only solution. Parents and their children should meet halfway. They should not think that just because they are the parents, they should not reach for their children.
gurl i feel u. my parents r always like, "think about all the money i spent on u" but tbh i work part-time to buy my own phone, pay my own bills, pay for transportation, buy my own stuff and ive never once in my life gotten an allowance. i love my parents and when they get old i will also pay for a caretaker for them, buy them presents, pay for transportation to visit them, so i hate when they bring money into the picture. cant they just say, "we love each other as family so dont do it?" my parents never say they love me -_-
That is really true. What did parents think having children would be like - playing with dolls?! Children should never take everything they have for granted but at the same time they should not be constantly told that they are indebted to their parents because that is a given in a parent-child relationship. What sets apart people and most wild animals is that, as long as the person is decent enough they feel grateful to their parents (without being told that they are indebted constantly) and repays back by taking care of them when they are older and more helpless.
True... I know I should be grateful to my parents and honestly I am but to slap it on my face every single moment makes me feel worthless. I had lost a huge amount of self confidence and couldn't live my life freely. It made me feel like I am a burden to them. I know they don't mean it that way bt it still has a huge toll on me mentally.
for this I can see it from two perspectives ; The aunt's & niece's . Firstly for me, if you are still living with your parents , and are not paying for food , or rent you are not independent yet. she kept telling her aunt leave me alone , but in Korea over the age of twenty is when you are a adult (I think) . So if she really wanted her to leave her alone she should become responsible and move out . However she is still living with her aunt , showing that she is clearly not being responsible of herself . Therefore , in my opinion to the least , she should at lest follow the aunts rules slightly . She does't need to do EVERYTHING , but things like family dinners stuff like that should be kept in mind when making plans . Though I say that , her calling at 8pm is a little bit over , and needs to refrain herself . I understand why , but she needs to understnd that she is growing . She needs to trust the niece a little more , if even after the video chat she still doesn't trust her , it is definitely something she needs to work . In any relationship trust is needed to keep things balanced and of course if you can't trust one another it will not work out. Yes the daughter going out of control like that is pretty devastating , and yes the daughter saying she wanted to live in an orphanage obviously hurt her feelings , however she was young and impulsive. I cannot accept how she took a knife at her , and could have caused an emotional scar at her. That is unacceptable in my book . For me I can see a difference between abusive beating , and punishment beating. When my mum was angry at me she did hit me , but it was more of a fact of disciplining. She never once took a knife out at me ,and used that as a threat. That is something I couldn't do to a stranger , let alone do it to my child or a child I considered my own . That is just a terrifying thought to think about. Also sending her daughter to the mental clinic was not right . She as a mother ( or at least considered herslef as one) should have went up to her and figured out her leaving. if she had done that she would have realised that it was her fault . How she to over protecting, and restricting her. She could have kept the police out of it , and stopped from sending her to the clinic. From eatyourkimichi , I was able to find out that going to a therapist goes down on you medical record , which companies go into. Big Companies are more likely not to pick you if you have something like that on there . Why would they choose someone who has/ had depression problems, over someone that is perfectly fine. Even though they may not be . She may have pit her daughter in a dangerous position where she may not be able to a job. Okay , if you reads this your gonna think I am bias to the girl , and personally I am The aunt is sociopath , however people are hang up on the part where she raised her. I have a question to you all who think like that , if a parents abusivese a child mentally , physically or sexually does it make it right even though they raised them? No . The same thing with this . She has no trust , she threatens a child with a knife causing emotional pain , creating other problems later in future , and sends her to the mental hospital just cause she ran away once. She is obviously not thinking right in her head . She needs to have a check up quick.
You're comment is the most rational and balanced out of all the comments I have seen in this page so far! You see both sides and point out matters quite objectively.
i like the show, but i think it will be better if they have a psychiatrist along in this show, so a not-very-simple case like this wouldn't be treaten so lightly. the niece has done wrong (about drinking and smoking), but holding a knife and putting the niece into a mental hospital for 6 weeks is not an act that 'mothers in general' will likely do to their children (the aunt claims many times that she loves her niece so much like her own daughter), unless if the niece is addicted to drugs or having serious mental illness, it's a whole different case. and then the sister of the aunt talked about orphanage and plastic surgery (both of them tried hard pointing out the good deed the aunt did, and as well embarrassing the niece the aunt said she loves).
+mystyle Yes! If only they have somebody professional along it would be the best. Like to listen to the hosts&guests' opinions and also a professional opinion would be great and more problem solving.
I think the on-stage part is mostly for entertainment. Idk if it’s true or not, but some people said they do have help and real serious talk behind the stage or something like that. Who knows tho. It’ll be good if they do get real professional help.
This woman sounds like my mom, i totally understand the niece. Until you have lived with a strict overbearing emotionally manipulative/abusive parent, you will never understand.
gosh I hate how they all sided with the aunt!! staying out late and smoking is bad, but pulling out a knife and sending a sane person to a mental hospital for 6 fucking weeks is not???? and what's with your 21 you're an adult?? girl still a teenager wtf it's as if she has a dept to repay, they keep repeating that without her aunt she would've been an orphan not caring how she actually feels not being raised with her real parents... ugh I really wanna give her a hug, talk to her for a bit and comfort her.
asma oh man it especially pissed me off when the aunt said that the girl couldn't control her impulsive behaviour and used that as an excuse. Like yeah??? That's actually part of being a teenager. Their prefrontal cortexes are underdeveloped, making them impulsive. Like, goddamn if every parent sent their kids to mental hospitals for impulsive behaviour high schools would be obsolete
I think this isn't as simple as "let's figure this one out together" thing. In my opinion, in this case it has gone to whole new different level, where i think a professional should has been involved. I mean look, i don't think it is wrong if the girl herself send a letter to the show?
The girl didn't send the letter; the aunt did.. The ones who send the letter sit with the MCs and the guests and the person they have the complaints against sit amongst the audience..
@@ShreyashiSarkar94 He is saying that it was a concern for both of them. The girl also could have sent a letter and her story would have been taken as the sob story.
No matter how much you care deeply about your loved one, you shouldn't pull out a knife, shove them in a mental hospital without their consent and use violence as a means of punishment. That all just becomes scars that can never be erased. Don't yall know, mental scars are the scariest?
The woman grabbed her niece by the hair, but everyone surprised only by the fact that the niece did the same thing ??? And what was she supposed to do? The majority in these situations does the same thing. Her aunt grabs her hair by anger, but then what should the niece do? Endure? I just started to watch and I don't care who is "evil" in this story, I'm just surprised that to be aggressive is fine, but to respond to it while defending yourself is not normal
Are you asian? Cause here respect for elders is something really important and doing that to someone older even though you're treated like trash is still like a crime. I know it sucks
I think both parties are in wrong. The niece should just listen and the aunt should know how to trust. They should talk like a real family. aw. and the knife part. That shit scare the hell out of me. I once saw my mom threw plates and alot of fragile things towards my dad and that itslef scared the fuck out of me. Oh God.
she thinks she did so much for and gave up so much for her so she thinks she is basically a mother but what kind of parent puts a knife in front of their child while talking and even put them in a mental hospital knowing it would ruin their lives (can't get jobs or marry etc). of course the girl would have rebelled. others would have looked down on her as she didn't even have a parent and couldn't have accepted the sad reality because she was a young girl that she is different to everyone else so tried to feel stronger than other people by joining the "bad kids".
Hanny In my opinion is all about 'where are you live'... Once I went on a date with a really sweet guy and when my father found out he cut my pinky off... After all I love my father with all my heart and he loves me too...Don't get me wrong, he's not a psycho and etc. And please don't say any harsh word about my dad because he's actually a really good father...I just wanted to write my opinion, that if somebody do anything wrong doesn't mean he or she is a bad person...Please, understand this
I support the girl instead. Sorry to everyone, but look at things from a different perspective. Before stating about how bad the girl is, ask yourself if I've gone through what we go through as Asians. I've been beaten by my father since young with canes, fishing ropes, glass, chairs, bottles, bamboo sticks,hangers and many more. The worst is when he kick, punch and pull my hair with bare hands. Physical discipline is so common in Asia that we're all just used to it already, I only get out of beating with blood and wounds.The average study time in Korea is more than 15 hours a day, and academic is all ppl talk about. We go to school 7+am in the morn and only reach home around 9-11pm at night, depending on whether exams are near. We have the highest teenage suicide rate in the world. Parents stop my dreams,force me to become a lawyer and just because my result's bad, they've done more than enough to be qualified as child abuse in other countries.
Many Asians have thoughts of suicide, let alone thinking bout smth like 'I would rather grow up in an orphanage'. Sometimes it's not what ppl give u, but what u really want/need. Of course, my parents give me food, clothes and a roof to live under too, but the consequence I give is way too much. They told me "I raised you, so you have to follow my route and everything I say, don't refuse". Therefore, instead of following my dream, I'm being forced to become either lawyer/Doctor. Unlike many ppl from other countries, we seldom party, hang out, have fun and be happy. There's no such thing as YOLO. All we do is study at home. Because my results are bad, my parents actually said to me hurtful things such as "I regret giving birth to you", "u're trash", "I don't love u anymore" and "u're ungrateful to me raising u, the least u can do is have great results and earn face for me, u're a embarrassing daughter, I wouldn't even want others to know our relationship".
Think about what u go through yourself first before judging others. U guys don't understand living in such families, how much we have to give up, go through and endure.Sometimes,it just comes to the point that just seeing them is so hard u have to run away. My parents too, they tell me to take pictures everywhere I go and calls my friends to check on me, even stalk me. Is I say I'm studying at a cafe, u will see them peeking through the door after 30 mins, checking if I'm there. How can u blame us for wanting freedom when u yourselves live such good lives. Living in such stressful enviroment since young, I've been diagnosed with anxiety melancholic depression for around 2 years now. At least I know if Imm in an orphanage, there will be less expectations from me and at the very least, I would have been able to chase for my dreams and do the things I want in life. At the very least, I would've been able to go for my passion and be happy. What I can tell u is, I'm not happy,VERY not happy
If u have parents who pull out knives during fights and send u to mental institutions, u will have the same thoughts. Even if u donnt say it out, u will have it. Do u guys really know what putting a teen in mental institution mean? No matter what happen, no parent should ever put their child in mental hospitals of it's not serious. U can bring them to councilors, psychiatrists, but never in a mental hospital. It will cause the kid to lose confidence in themselves and look at themselves differently. It will hurt them very badly. And pulling out knives? Are u serious? The aunt giving up her life raising a child doesn't mean the child will be raised greatly. Yes, it's good that her initial intention was great, but she really failed badly. Sometimes what u want to give and what u really give is different. Sometimes, what u give isn't what the person need. My parents goes on about loving me too, but the truth is they hurt me badly.
+BANGTAN TRASH after my parents hit me, they say they do it for my well-being. The truth is, they ruined me. They caused mental problems on me, they caused depression, they caused sadness, try caused agony, they caused hatred, they caused everything but happiness, everything but good things. They say they love me too. They say that what they blurt out when they hit me are just words of anger. But what's said Said. Them talking bout how they regret giving birth to me cause I canny give them good academic results, they're forever stained in my heart. Yet they still say they love me and it's good for my well being. When I have thoughts of suicide, I always think about how they always say 'it's good for you'. So what's so good for me that can force me to want to stand on the edge of a bridge?
I think it's a difficult problem because as a viewer you don't really know what's actually going on between them out of the show... While reading some comments here I thought I'd just to say that as a child you don't ever have to feel in dept of the one who raised you. It's kind of naturally expected to behave respectfully and stuff but that'll never mean to have to pay off a dept all the life. It's a kind of mutual give and take in such a relationship so if it doesn't work mostly both parties probably made a mistake.
That boy with white top is Siwan and boy with orange too is Hyunsik..both of them is korean singer group..their group is ZE:A..they have 9 members in ZE:A ^^
I know she loves her niece but trying to tie her and restrict and stopping her from doing things isn't the right way. The more you tie a child to your side, the more they'll resist to get away from you. The aunt should trust her niece. My parents gave me ample freedom to try stuff and allowed me to learn and figure things out for myself and I believe that worked out great for me. I don't smoke, drink and my friends are fine too. I actually have a friend who has super strict parents, the more they restrict her from doing stuff the more she feels distance from them. Trust her. Trust your niece and trust yourself that you've raised her right and would know not to do wrong. And then in return, when the niece feels that you trust her, she wouldn't try and betray that trust and she would be afraid of disappointing her. I could guess that she only did those things (smoke, drink) because the aunt THOUGHT she was doing it and accused her for doing it and that's why she did it to spite the aunt
this girl should be thankful that her aunt still care about her, you'll cry your heart out when she doesn't care anymore. you'll find it more scarier than you thought, hell no girl it's not freedom once she does.
To be really honest we also have to understand the Niece, imagine you not having parents and your aunt just raise you up without much freedom or trust. It's really frustrating tbh.
Except, you know, she gave up her whole life for her, and the kid repays the $2300 surgery that was probably hard to afford with smoking and drinking. So yah. And 8pm is out later than what I can stay out, you don't see me complaining. She gave her lots of freedom and trust compared to other parents all around the world.
If she was given up for adoption or brought to the orphanage, her aunt restrictions are less compare to the orphanage. And she should be grateful someone even took her in. And gave everything she needs, without providing for herself. She privilege she doesnt have to work at the early age. Some kids out there lost their parents at a early age, and start working. I once ride a cab, the driver was just a kid and he was just 19 but started working at 14 when his father died, and his mother got sick then passed away when he was 18, he has a younger sister who is 14. When he turn 18 he started he got his license and became a taxi driver, as i was talking with him, cant help myself tear up and feel his pain, he stop going to school just so he could take his sister to school. He never asked help from his aunt and uncle for he want to prove to them that he could make it without any help.
Honestly I understand the niece but at the same time I also understand the aunt. The aunt worries and cares for her. She basically raised her up and who knows where she'd be now without her aunt. So of course she has the right to feel upset when the niece goes out and drinks or smokes or even hit her back. No matter how old or frustrated the niece is, she shouldn't grab the aunts hair. But the aunt needs to understand that she isn't a kid anymore. She needs space and the aunt needs to put some trust into the niece. Beating her and threatening won't do anything, it'll only leave scars. Both of them need to fix their problems with each other.
I haven’t seen the very beginning of hello counselor and wow, everyone has changed so much and look at the set!!! Watching this episode really hits home, I just lost my sister in law in August and I have a young niece and nephew that I’ve been caring for when I can.
+Siti Nurul Hikmah She sent her to the mental hospital because the girl's doctor recommended it not because she was angry with her or anything. Pulling a knife on her was totally wrong though. The whole extended family is a mess. How can they think of sending the girl to an orphanage when her grandparents and aunts are still alive. They probably told her to be thankful to the aunt all the time for raising her, which destroyed any motherly bond the girl may have felt towards the aunt. And why she's so rebellious.
They should do hello counselor international, where once a week they take one concern from another country and talk about or have them on the show of they can. Maybe even Skype.
That would be great for international fans, bug I don't think that will ever happen. Hello Counselor (or "Annyeonghasaeyo" in Korean) solves domestic/local problems of their country - that is the concept of the show. If they did international concerns, I feel like it would be controversial because of Koreans lack of perception outside of their country bounds. sadly, Koreans lack knowledge of western influences or traditions and they would not be able to contribute to helping foreign related problems.
When I first saw the title, I thought those guys (in the thumbnail) were crazy over their niece. I was like "incest? Whuuut" but when I watched the vid I was like "oh"*sings sorry sorry by suju in jeju accent* 😂😂
Its very saddening how the niece can do that to her aunt when her aunt raised her. Cant she just understand her aunt more and fighting with your aunt is just unbelievable. Even her aunt break her bones she should not fight back because its a lifetime debt to her aunt that she raised her.
That's extreme. She should definitely be more appreciative but she didn't ask her aunt to raise her, she's not going to understand the sacrifices that her aunt made for her. And the aunt has handled this in a horrible manner. I mean really, she threatened her with a knife. I understand why she's so upset but abuse is never acceptable.
i think its true thats aunt expecting much from her niece,,, she always mention about how she lost her half life only for raising her niece and this is what she got,,, she raising her with love but why the girl feel unloving? the other side,, the niece feels never ask her aunt to sacrifice her life,, first. aunt never feel happy with her own life second. because she doesnt get love from her niece make her more unhappy,, so she blame her niece,, and fight happen
zayn1more she have the right to expect something from her niece , she is not her mother and she devoted her life to take care of her so i think if her niece showed her some love and respect nothing of this will happen ... even our parents expect something from us for their them take care of us
No matter what, we can see her aunt loves her more than she loves her aunt. She said she hoped her aunt would give her more freedom, whereas her aunt hoped the niece would live happily, and be successful. That said a lot!
I really wish Korean parents/guardians would stop hitting there daughters I see this all the time in dramas and real life situations. They hit there daughters to discipline them and to teach them the dangers of staying out late at night but being at home can be just as bad if not worse in some cases. This is not a good way to teach our daughters about safety by showing them that violence equals love.
No one really should have any judgement on either party. Unless, you were involved in a same type of situation. I grew up with my aunt since I was 9 There were multiple times when my aunt would physically abuse me. However, I don't hate her. Its not even about whos right or who's wrong. Its all about forgiveness. I have been in contact w knifes to Golf clubs belts etc. But all in all. It made me realize that I should become a truly great father to my kids in the future. I'm currently 22
Actually looking at the story I kind of wish I was like her. Honestly there are times I get so angry inside that I get scared of myself. I think "oh shoot one day all these pent up frustrations will make me do something really bad." Because whenever my dad pulls my hair out I just say I'm sorry, when he cut me with a knife to shut me up I just shut up. But I understand why she lived with it and stuff, we're told it's a "family matter" and personal and that if we are to report them to authorities we would get our house and food taken away because at least they feed us. There's also the shame of just having a parental figure like that and the judgment that will surly go around. In her case, in particular, since her aunt always seems to say that she made a huge sacrifice to raise her it's the guilt that prevents her from actually reporting abuse, I think (i'm not 100% sure of course it's her own personal story), but that's what I felt watching this. The social pressure, the guilt, the warnings they give you and that fear; it's all factors as to why we can't really actually file a report. She turned to smoking and drinking and hanging out with friends. It's tragic how her aunt didn't see that she was the one who caused it. I'm waiting for the day I can just leave with my brothers and hide out, I hope that now she's older she can settle away from her aunt.
officialkpopfan are you okay ??? take care of yourself... your situation does not seems as well as it is. they give you shelter, food and whatever you need but that does not meant that they can abuse you. I hope you know what's more important here. your life, then from there, look for wealthfares that are able to help you. not living like that.
I'm used to it now I think of it as... well if they gave me the life I don't really have a right to what happens to it, i think that's what i've been told. Umm thank you for the kind words though ^^
officialkpopfan I know it's none of my business and coming from an Asian family that is dysfunctional and has a very hot tempered father I have experienced some beating but my dad has never drew blood or purposely use a knife to cut me. I really think you need to figure out ways to move out or move in with other members of your family and get your father and you help. Please don't think it is normal and you're used to it, at that level and extent it's abuse and domestic violence. I wish the best for you and hope that you can get yourself out of that living condition.
Huskiro Jennie Thank you for sending me this, i never really thought of it as out of the norm since I don't have another to base it off of hahaha interesting.... but yeah I plan to move out when i'm not a minor anymore, thanks again
officialkpopfan No worries, I know where you're coming from and people don't speak about their family problems so you can't compare or know. It's become your own norm but that's so good you have the option of moving out. It'll be hard but you'll live a much happier life and realise how wrong it was. I really wish you the best and all my love. If you ever need help or anything just to talk, you can reach out to any of my social media on my channel.
Hmm....There're times when I am very pissed and dissatisfied with the way the concerns are resolved on this show and this is one of those. It is true that the aunt raised her niece, spent a fortune? on her and probably loved her in a way that I see as slightly obsessive, abusive and twisted, I will give her that. Regardless of the nature or the magnitude of great great things she did or sacrificed for her niece, the moment the aunt drew a knife, physically attacked or sent her to a mental hospital, the aunt has lost all my respect. No matter how young or how immature your child is, I believe that a child is first and foremost a person who deserves respect, privacy and freedom. The aunt, in her process of obsessing over her obsession with her child, in my opinion, forgot that fact. Unless she finds that in herself to trust and respect, I doubt if they'll ever make up completely. It may now be too late. Just my opinion.
Am I the only one that found the aunt's behavior more disturbing than the girl's? I mean, even though she says she treats her like a daughter, no mother would (or no sane mother) pull a knife in front of their daughters, or even pull them by the hair. Idek if this is normal in Korea, because in a lot of these stories they find beating to be normal, but still...
u can't help it, when u're young u're mostly stupid and arrogant.. when u grow older or when u lose the people who took care of u that's when u realise how stupid and regretful u feel...she's so lucky to have an angel-like aunt,even tho she might have over reacted and over protected her am sure she had her reasons and obviously love is one of them.. i hope things are alright now they deserve a happy life
My advice for them would be that for the aunt to trust her niece and for her niece to gain that trust. It's touching how the aunt raised her for 21 years when she could of had just not do it. The aunt should give her niece freedom and let her do whatever she wants and trust her, but her niece should just call her aunt sometimes and update her aunt about her safety and where she is. And instead of worrying about the niece, the aunt should find her own things to keep her busy.
Not gonna lie. I thought the niece would have bleached hair, red lipstick, thick false lashes, maybe eyebrow piercings and a choker. Seriously thought she'd be dressed in ripped jeans, crop white shirt and a leather jacket too. Heck even gray colored eye contacts as well. Overall, I wasn't expecting a normal looking girl.
me too. I somehow think the aunt is overreacted because she loves her niece way too much. just like hyunsik said the aunt express her love in wrong way.
I hardly missed a day at school, I did my homework, I'd be told that I was smart and dedicated to school, I followed the school dress code, I have never done anything illegal or anything considered delinquent, I have won prized for this and that, but I really resonate with the niece saying that she couldn't say anything when she was younger because she was scared; I felt the same way whenever my mother would scold me which would often involve some sort of physical reprimanding (they were not all necessarily physical abuse people, and no she didn't use a knife), and it is terrifying for us, the child and we can't think of anything in that situation. Even when we actually had something we wanted to say our minds just goes blank after a while through the scolding out of fear and because we, or at least I somehow get convinced that you're side of the story/emotions doesn't matters at the end.
I say "not all necessarily physical abuse" because in the recent couple of years with the divorce and mom's dislike for father kind of makes me feel like she's punishing me for being like my father/a fool, and would overreact, be hysteric, and hit me in those fits. I do think that the few recent beating were abusive beating, rather than punishing beating like it used to be.
+whytedaises Not everyone would sacrifice themselves for a relative.Especially in Korea,they would ask you "Why are you taking care of someone else's kid",Koreans are very big with blood relations. The aunt should have let her gone to the orphanage and made a life for herself. That's why people are scared to adopt..in the end they turn into ingrates.
I know its been such a long time to reply, but yes, I agree that not everyone would sacrifice themselves for a relative. It is very hard. I have a distant cousin who became an orphan. My grandmother and the adults decided to take her in (from another country) and held funeral masses for the deceased and created an inheritance for her. They raised her and provided her as an equal to us or better. They started having issues like many teenagers in high school. My uncle and aunt (whom she was living with) was lenient so that she can be her own person and develop (part time job), but didn't want to adhere to the rules. She moved out with her bf (college time) and have never seen her again. It has been at least 2 decades now, the family and I still wonder about her from time to time. Hope she's okay and happy.
I think this is what the heardest thing to be a fatherless daughter... This is what a father should do... Scolds his children, tells them what's good to do and what's not good to do (with affection of course), and a mother is for take care of them and reminding them their dad's words... Because a father has more power as a man.. But her aunt do all of it.. It's hard even for a single mother, pluss she got a call as "her aunt".. I'm a fatherless daughter too.. I understand this kind of case..
honestly, i can understand where the girl is coming from...i'm 21 and over this past summer break i went to Hong Kong for an internship at one of the universities over there even though i could've probably gotten one here in the US...so i left home for about 2 months, i lived in the dorms at the university but my primary guardian for my trip was my aunt (my mom's sister) and lets just say she was more worried about me than my mom was who was a whole ocean away from me
true, but this girls story is a bit different since it seems she doesn't have a mother and her aunt raised her since she was 1. The girl could show a bit more respect to her aunt. Though they're both in the wrong here.
true she could have a little more respect for her aunt...going from a mom who respected my independence and trusted me to an aunt who was the exact opposite....yeah, i practically stopped reply to her texts after a while because it was so bothersome but i know it was cause she was worried...but seriously if you keep babying kids they're going to end up leaving the house not knowing how to do laundry and the dishes...(no really, my first year of college i met so many people who didn't know how to do their own laundry)
yeah I can understand that's frustrating. And indeed they should learn to trust you at least when you're 21, since then you're a grown up and you need to take care of yourself. Haha I believe you, I think it's frustrating (and I mostly think they're too spoiled) when people at the age of 20 or over can't do those things themselves. I'm 23 and my parents trusted me enough and learned me how to be independent, so yeah I can do all the chores myself when I need or want to
The niece is trying to set up her boundaries, which is a good thing. Aunt is obsessed. She needs to start learning to respect people’s boundaries. People need space to grow up and learn actions and consequences.
I don't know how it feels like to be a mother and at most, a single mother. But it's not easy raising a child. I'm not the perfect daughter and my mom and I have gotten physical once but I grew up learning from my mistakes and apologizing to my mom. It's probably tough on the aunt since the mother passed away so she feels the responsibility of taking care of her the best as she can in place of her deceased sister. With the knife situation, we're not aware of details since we don't know how the niece was behaving either. She was capable of pulling the aunts hair too. Hopefully she grows and understand her aunts true intention & the aunt can be less obsessive. And aside from that, I couldn't stop staring at hyungsik 😍
You really realize the culture difference when the aunt said she pulled the niece's hair and my jaw drops, but no one there moved a muscle...the aunt said the niece pulled her hair back, I don't make a move, but the people there are shocked
The girl clearly wasn't behaving appropriately, so i understand the aunt, she was probably at her wit's end. But she pulled a knife on her niece?! And they just glazed over that part! I mean wtf that's not acceptable at all. Then they all start laughing over beating up their relatives. I guess it's because physical punishment is more accepted in Korea, but that made me so uncomfortable. So i can also understand the niece, i think her aunt would drive me crazy too! They both have issues as far as i'm concerned!
i am sorry..but i think the aunt is too possessive over her..she was 21 and yet she send her to a mental hospital because she got out of her house and stayed until late...takes out a knife during a conflict..things could've escalated from just that...i don't think she is any position to bringout the 'i took care of u card'..sure it must've been hard to watch her slipping away from your care..but 21 is an age where you should face the world on your own
I understand why her aunt acts that way since my parents are also very strict when it comes to me. Personally, her aunt is less than strict than my parents are. My usual routing is always house-school-house like really. And also i don’t really have the voice in our family, i always get the blame and i’m only child, no one to talk to sucks. Also, they are old-fashioned not in terms of clothes but in the way they think.
The aunt is sweet, by kind of dishnoest. Like Yeongja's niece said, if she truly thought of them as mother/daughter she wouldn't expect her to be any kinder to her just because she raised her.. She expects her to constantly think 'My aunt raised me even thought she didn't have to, I should treat her better" Even though that's true, no one constantly thinks "My mom/dad raised me, I should treat them well", at least not teens, people reflect on that when they get older.
Hm I understand both sides. The aunt should learn how to trust her niece now that she's grown up and tone down her interference in her life just a bit, but the niece should learn to have a bit more respect for her aunt because she did give up part of her life to raise her. She could've done otherwise, but instead she gave her a roof over her head and food to eat, etc. so they both need to improve some things, but I think they'll figure it out after this.
Everyone keeps saying that they understand the girl better, i'm still in high school but i understand the aunt better. When you grow up and when ur doing something u actually like, who are you going to thank? Ur friends? No, it's the people that look after you. Though there may be some people who have family issues, no matter how much you fight with them, don't you love them in the end? People should stop critising the aunt and stop and think. This is only my opinion, please don't hate.
Mothers don't think of their children as someone who needs to pay back the years spent loving, caring and helping them to grow up. They also know their children will become independent, become their own person and live their own life. This lady was never a mother herself so she thinks that her niece has to somehow pay her back all of those years in some way. You can't hold onto them just because of that. This aunt constantly reminds her niece that "I gave up my life for you." STRESSFUL.
it's good to watch HELLO COUNSELOR,in their legal version with the subs is really good, but I think kbs must promote it more cause I know this show normally watched by more than 80.000 times in many subers,and many place like dailymotion and another streaming web, so I think you must promote more for us the international fans of this show. thank's KBS I hope this show will got better and better again in the future^^ terima kasih
The only thing that makes the aunt wrong is she was obsesses on concerning about her niece(which is natural act of being a parent). But if you look at the other side the aunt have sacrificed A LOT of things just for her niece. And her niece never thought of that, It'll be understandable if her aunt didn't treat her right since she was a kid.The aunt was just too concerned and she must understand that if she's a good kid.
Yeah I could see it too. In korea, it's much more intense what elders expect of kids. I read your other comment about how teens don't always think they should respect their elders, but in Asia, it's even more expected that you are always polite to your elders than it is in any other country, so when someone is giving you a punishment, you're supposed to take it, that's why it shocked them when she struck back. Frankly I don't blame the aunt one bit, act like a bitch get treated like one.
i guess we only know a small part of the whole story. maybe the aunt was too controlling and that made the niece misbehave more. or the aunt gave too much to her that she took her for granted and misbehave. maybe the niece misbehave more than what we think and the aunt is at her last resort to get a knife to threaten her and send her to mental hospital to seek help. or the aunt can be just that controlling. either ways both of them of to work together to get a balance and what works for both of them. you cnt just plainly fault one party.
