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I sang this one for myself, I hope that's ok
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So I've lived in fear of the business world my entire life and I decided last Summer to try and face all my anxieties and traumas. You never know if your fears are valid until you face, right? Well, I threw myself at it with eyes closed and I had as many panic attacks and intrusive thoughts as I thought I would. But maybe things would get better? And they did in a way, I was meeting deadlines and sometimes would get small compliments, I felt like I was finally a useful person to society. But suddenly it ended. I was told I wasn't needed and that the economy was good so I shouldn't worry. That was the moment I realized I hadn't conquered my anxieties but had instead been just pushing them down in order to "just make it through the next day" and "someday I'll be good at this". I'd been fooling myself and now I was using all my working paychecks to just pay for therapy that work gave me. Just a zero sum game ironically haha. I wanted to share my story with everyone even if it's a sad and slightly pathetic one because I think it's important to talk about struggles. I'm not an idol or living a perfect life, I'm crawling through mud and fighting myself every day. But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to find my own path. It won't look like anyone else's but I'm going to find a place that allows me to live and not just survive. I hope you do too.
ORIGINAL CREDITS:
✦ Music: KEI
✦ Original: • 「Hello, Worker」 - KEI ...
COVER CREDITS:
✦ Vocals/Mix/Video: Juby
✦ Art: 美森
✦ Piano: シ★ン
- Stream -
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--Find Me----
✧ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ
/ jubyphonic_p
✧ ғᴀᴄᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ
/ jubyphonicp
✧ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴛᴇʀ
@JubyPhonic_P
✧ ᴇᴍᴀɪʟ
jubyphonics@gmail.com
--Lyrics--
How can all that I am be fit
Inside of a sheet of white A4?
A smile and I’m hoping they come to accept
Me with a “welcome aboard!”
Twisting through, now I’m lost without a clue
In a maze of ups and downs
Said try until it’s over and won, but I found
There may be no way out
But everyone is way ahead
I’m being left behind again
A world beyond a track
I yearn to move past
When can I have that?
But tell me
What do I want? Who do I wanna be?
And what am I good at? Can I do anything?
See how I made it so damn far?
I did it crawling on my knees
What about tomorrow? I don’t what it brings
What about the future? It won’t change anything
Then let me have this one, day only for me
“Wish you well” were the words they’d always tell me
A life cut bit by bit
And handing out the pieces to anyone now
But told I just don’t fit
They said I couldn’t do a thing
And honestly I might agree
I’m worn in every way and crawling through days
Will I look the same?
Or maybe
Was it really worth it? Was it my dream?
And what did I lose in the flow of everything?
Searching for the answer, I came this far
And did it grinding down my teeth
End it all tomorrow, the world and me too
Maybe I’ll forget it, the day before soon
So let me have this one day only for me
But everyone is way ahead
I’m being left behind again
So tell me where did I go wrong?
What was I doing all along?
They said I couldn’t do a thing
And honestly I might agree
I’m worn in nearly every way
But breathing and alive today
Telling me
What do I want? Who do I wanna be?
And what am I good at? Can I do anything?
See how I made it so damn far?
I did it crawling on my knees
What about tomorrow? I don’t what it brings
What about the future? It won’t change anything
Then let me have this one...
This moment, only one...
Belongs to you and me
1 окт 2024
