Helping Toddlers Manage Their Big Emotions Using Emotional Intelligence 

For me the hardest part of being a parent is riding out the emotions. It's hard not to be affected.

I feel like I’m doing a great job as a father. I’m only two years in and this is the first time I searched a video for handling toddler emotions and everything that I seen as an example, I’ve been doing. I just pray my daughter knows how much I love her even when I’m validating how she feels even when she’s two

That’s how i did with my 2 daughters who are 20 and 21 today. People were judging me by saying that i was « too soft » on them… i didn’t listen and now that my kids are grown ups, people now see that i was right! They are good girls with a good heart with no big issues in life. They blossomed so well and they thank me for that 💕

Your son is an angel. My toddler kicks, hits, scratches and screams, hourly.

I love this gentle approach. I'm a nanny (not yet a mom) and I deal with toddler emotions on the daily. One thing I don't know how to handle besides just ignoring the situation and redirecting is when I am trying to assist a child with a task they are very invested in, but they do NOT want help (normal) and cannot do it on their own. I try to offer help but I get screamed at and more crying. Sometimes I just butt in and help (like trying to move a stroller the child wants to move but cannot move himself), but both options deeply upset him. I try to explain why I want to help, but it seems to only escalate the situation. At this point, I usually say something empathetic like "I'm so sorry this isn't working. Let's see what else we can do" and move on, but it does not always work. What else can I do to validate the child's emotions and solve the issue, rather than letting him cry it out?

As a teacher many years ago I am heartened to find out that I did many of these things naturally! That rubbing of the back took the stress out of a little body almost immediately! However when I had my own children I found it much more difficult! When they were having emotion meltdowns I felt I was a failure for letting that happen! How I wish I could have had access to these wonderful insights then!With thanks!

I need child therapy like this. This has made so much sense why I act like this still. I don't have anger meltdowns but I have emotional ones. Therapy is sometimes hard bc I'm doing adult stuff when I haven't ever got emotional help as a kid

Identify their why vs the observation of Behavior you don’t like is the game changer!

I'm not even a parent but I already did this with my 6 year old cousin a when I used to do Pre-K work with him when it was remote learning. From what I understand, getting angry at your child, screaming at them to stop will not solve the problem. When he got upset I turned off the Xbox, instant meltdown. I got on his level and I was saying "i know you're upset but you have to do your work". Patting him on the back, and just riding out his emotions. It took a long time, so I told him when you're calmed down come to me.

It's nice watching you e gage with your son by trying to learn from his reactions instead of forcing him to do things the way you want him to without understanding why he is upset. Understanding how to calm him in ways that make him feel comforted will go a long way. It's a win for you and him.

Thank you so much. I am feeling so desperate right now. Watching this shows me at least things are “normal” in my house. Hahaha. I have never told myself to breath as much as I have the past month. He turned 3 last week and wow…I feel like I have a pmsing teenager instead of a toddler. 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

The demo was so helpful. Thank you for this!

Thankyou for sharing this video, it helped me immensely! I've been feeling really down about not knowing how to deal with my sons tantrums, as everybody tells me to ignore him or stop babying him. This is reassuring that I'm not the only one who's toddler continues crying after I comfort and that I'm not doing bad! Just want what's best for my son and for him to know I love him even in those moments

Thank you. I’m single dad of two children, 9 months boy and 2 years older girl. It’s getting really hard to look after my son while my daughter is throwing tantrums, but hopefully this will help.

This is wonderful and I will be sharing this with ALL of my speech therapy parents for their toddlers. Thank you!

Omg this is so good & EXACTLY what our daughter is going through now- this is the first video I’ve watched that i can relate to! Thank you!

Thank you for sharing!

This was soooo helpful. And I would love to watch and learn 👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏾♥️

This has helped me be the best mom... so has inner work on my own EQ skills.

This was great! Thank you for teaching me/us!

This was a great help. Thanks for sharing it. 😊

Thanks from south korea! My son is 31months, and the video is very helpful and i start doing this technics with my son dealing with phone using. Thanks again♡

Wow. I feel like I’m watching my own boy. I really needed this video. Thanks for sharing! Subbed.

excellent information ty

Thank you for this video I'll definitely apply these techniques to my children. One problem I have is that I'll lash out on them. I'm a single mother with 2 children (2,5) I work full time as well as cleaning homes to make ends meet. I hardly spend any time with my children an when we do spend time together I get really frustrated with them because I know that they act like angels outside of my home (daycare & school ) I've received nothing but amazing comments on how well behaved an how happy my children are. But when we are all together they do the complete opposite. They dnt wanna eat food only junk food. They wanna make a mess but dnt wanna clean up. They fight with eachother. They talk back to me an tell me " NO ". I'm not someone with patience at all an when it comes down to my kids lord knows I try my BEST to not lash out. But man oh man it's so hard. I spank them I yell at them. My parents say I'm taking down to them an that's gonna traumatize them as they get older. Please I want to be a better mother for my children. Our life situation is so stressful an most my time is taken up by me working and making sure we have EVERYTHING we need. I know at the end of they day they'd love to just hang out with mama an have alot of fun. I feel so guilty as a mother because I feel as I neglect my kids emotionally. I need help on being a better mother.

Thank you soo much for creating this video! This was so helpful to me. My son has such big emotions and up until this point if it occurred at the "wrong time" I would become so frustrated.

Thank you, this really helped me understand and connect with my daughter.

Beautiful!!! Thank you!

Thank you for the video! I will definitely try this approach

I'm going try this thank you so so much!!

Remember to label the emotion in this process. What is “you look upset because” mean? What is upset? You look angry because….. You look sad because….. You look scared because….. Why it is excellent that you identified how the child’s body is reacting with the emotion, the actual emotion should also be identified. It will help the child begin to learn to use the emotion word in verbal language, understand why his and her body is reacting and then be become available to learn and use self regulation. Your coregulation is incredible! You also released your child when your child showed resistance to being held and comforted but accepted your kind words and gentle touch. A child develops self regulation after first experiencing co regulation with a safe adult. The adult is with the child in the emotion and feeling safe in the emotion. Validated by the support through the emotion rather than trying to change it. Wonderful video!

This knowledge you are giving is AMAZING. thank you thank you thank you! 📈💛

Thank you so much!

My son is 3yrs 11months... He shows quite a severe emotions sometimes... Crying without a reason, difficult to understand. Feels helpless sometimes. I just hug and calm him down as much as possible

Yes please more information

Well done great video

Awesome 🧡

I love this! The points were pointed out and shown very well and the video is very informative. This could be my favorite video of helping regulate children's emotions. This made me subscribe to your channel. Looking forward to more!

Thank you for sharing this found it so helpful and useful. I'm a mom of a 5 year old girl with autism and helping her manage her emotions has been one of the toughest things I've experienced as a parent. It's still a work in progress but i know i will be able to help my daughter.

Love this! My only challenge is what happens if they start school and they don't get this same attention and patience?

Im babysitting my niece today, so this is going to be helpful, lol.

thank you ✨🙏✨

ASKING THEM TO TAKE A BREATH IS VERY HELPFUL!

I do like your video a lot! It's very helpful 👍

So inspiring

This is quite helpful to me as a teacher-and I tutor high schoolers!

Thanks you.

This video is helpful. Hope you can share more things about my situation. When my son is on tantrums, he is comfortable in pinching, slapping or kicking someone who comforts him.. or throw things.. so challenging

My son had a huge personality!

I will try all of these! My baby is terribly 2 and isn’t talking much yet.

Interensting✨

this is a lot to deal with sometimes im scared of my son but I'm strongly and willing to help my child with his emotions I won't give up

I use this technique as well. It's really helpful though sometimes a bad day gets in the way a little bit and I tend to forget dealing hehehe but rarely it happens.

Thank you so much. Recently my son is getting very emotional, and I don't know how to deal with it. He starts to throw things around and constantly wants to be in my arms.

This helps!

Watching this late at night after a hard day of so much big emotions and i read and have tried these techniques but I just forgot how impactful they are especially when I doubt myself so much as a mom that i dont think I am doing doing good enough. But it was just a nice reminder to myself that i am doing my best and to stick with what is right for my son. Thankyou so much! And you should really put a link about the books in the description so we can tske a look at them!

Hey, im just wondering what the name of the song you played at the end of the video is called. Loved this video btw! So helpful even for me as an adult understanding my own emotions

yes do more please! this is very helpful thank you. i have a 4 year old that usually cries a lot when he doesnt get things his way with his cousins, like sharing things, or playing catch, he seldom gets angry he expresses his emotions though crying... how do i help him with this or even help him probably be stronger or learn to grow out of this... thank you..

Yup it just worked!

I struggle getting him to cooperate regarding general bodily functions. He doesn't want to eat, bath, change diaper, potty train, blow his nose...it's so frustrating. He is 3 and 2 mo ...and when I try talking to him gently as you suggested he lashes out and hits...but he is not this way at daycare...just when he gets home. At daycare he is an angel...at home he is challenging.

Hahahah the day i had some hot food waiting for me my dad to give his meal as his carer too was when she had her first huda emotional reaction before bedtime she slipped slightly on her step stool whilst brushing and this happened before without a reaction i checked she did not get hurt but it seemed like she did so my reaction after realising it was not because of real pain but because she was overtired and wanting connection too having had a mixed up routine. It all added up and came out in this one mishap. I realised that i was using mirroring techniques hugging soothing gentle talk and riding the emotions whilst ensuring we didnt have an accident without her nappy on yet. Its was tricky but not as bad as i would have though i was just feeling her and guiding her through it it really was so much better than trying to stop her crying to telling her its okay or trying redirect her straight away the emotions had calmed so quickly you wouldn't even know how badly she was crying before we were readingthe bestime book in her nightie like 3 minutes ago. Alhamdulillah i am so blessed to have this information i wish i could have this sort of support in learning to regulate my emotions even now. I can have patience for my babby but other people especially my own parent and husband is soooo tricky.

Hi. New to your channel. I was wondering how to apply the techniques displayed here, in public

Please guide me in handling twin tantrums and their fighting

My first born nephew is 14 months. I’m the oldest of 7 myself and I cannot have children of my own. That’s one generational curse down. Next, helping the next generation to have a better handle of their emotions. ‘It takes a village’ and this auntie villager is willing to pitch in.

My son just today started having tantrums. So here I am on you tube looking for help .

30 or 60 second big emotions....our little ones last up to 15 minutes in a daily basis. Quite hard to handle

Hi I am working in afterschool club and I have a child that just doesn't want to listen and running and teasing other children what you will recommend what approach to use? Other other toddler he has tantrum that we have to hold him otherway he just run out or hurt himself or others.

It’s a great way. You can also check out the CALM technique by Jennifer Kolari. It does take practice but it works like a charm.

Hi! I love this. Our boy is 2 1/2 and recently diagnosed autism. I noticed the video is over a year old now, so just wondering if you'd still handle this the same way? Or if you've learned new techniques since posting this? I appreciate you! Thank you so much ❤️

What's wrong with saying, "oh that probably hurt, but hey hey look at this".... and just distracting them from their emotions so they learn to to self soothe by doing something fun instead of sitting in their sorrow. There won't always be someone around to stroke their hair and pity them.

So what's coming up for my toddler at the moment is he's so flooded that he's full on running away from me when he's upset and or telling me to leave him alone. He is two years old, so I understand this is a process he is going through. My concern is that if he's running away from me, I do not have any opportunity to connect, name his feelings, and redirect.

if someone had touched me like that when i was lil it would had made it worse (know the child is step 1) (im on the autism spectrum)

What if the child's default emotion to a challenge they think they can't manage is to cry? My kid cries 10 plus times a day?

My 3 yo will randomly burst into tears and scream ouchy and point to random places on her body (mostly hands and feet) all I have to do is kiss the spot she points at. Then she is fine. But she does this over 30 times a day. If I don't kiss the "ouchy" she breaks down into a tantrum. Idk how to get her past this.

thank you so much but i got problem who does not want to potty train him and he is two everytime i ask him nicely he just starts doing it in diper then hides not wanted to chance but many times in bathroom he very ok talking what about it he knows what u do where 😄i never forced him how can i ho about this?

Ok. You just said that our toddlers learn how to view the world by watching our expressions… if we constantly keep our voice and expressions soft, then how does a child deal with the outside world? Especially when people are so cruel. I worry that this approach will make a child be unable to cope when someone is not kind or they are cruel. I understand that we need to be a stable and safe place for our children, but how do we get them to be prepared for when the world is ugly to them? I am not saying that we as mothers or family should be ugly to the child but how do we prepare them? I feel there’s a problem with the way parents are with their children within the past decade or so. A lot of children and young adults are entitled. I believe there needs to be a happy medium of acceptance, love, understanding, discipline, and consequences, so children, or young adults don’t crumble under pressure, or have meltdowns when things don’t go their way. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not in any way saying that we should beat our kids or something crazy like that. I understand babies don’t understand emotion regulation and need assistance dealing with emotions. Just how do we make a happy medium?

Is this technique from 1 particular book or several books? I want to learn more about this approach but which book explained it the best?

Recently my toddle refuses to go nursery and having big emotions every morning. Any advises ?

My daughter is almost 5 years and I only recently started knowing about mindfulness and emotional regulation and I want to ask what to do after the meltdown is over how to address the incident and how to redirect??

Okay how can I (the mom) do this when my almost 3 year old is LOSING IT (tantrum) and I’m already frustrated. Example when he gets something taken because he wasn’t listening.

This is very good. I truly think that emotional intelligence can help with any thing! #coacheq2020

What if riding out the emotion includes hitting, kicking & throwing toys?

Toddlers may struggle to manage their strong emotions, but parents and caregivers can assist them by utilizing emotional intelligence. Naming and validating the emotion, teaching coping skills, modeling emotional regulation, using positive reinforcement, and practicing empathy are all part of this process. Toddlers can develop healthy relationships with their feelings and the skills needed to deal with difficult situations if they are taught to recognize, understand, and manage their emotions. Allowing them to connect with them and be with them when they encounter big emotions is very important to ease and practice their emotional intelligence.

Such beautiful video❤ thank you for guiding shared with my moms group ❤️❤️ Could you please also make video how to handle a baby who cries for small small things Even if remote button don’t start or I don’t immediately do what he is asking Pls help me

My son (3 years) I feel I can control him more when my wife is not around, but when my wife (mother) is around his behavior is much more difficult to manage, he gets angry very fast, for the smallest thing, such as when he's throwing food and when I say to stop it, he gets angry and start to do it more or start to throw even other things around, and it seems he does this on purpose, because sometimes he laughs while in the middle of act of showing anger

My 2.5 year old always runs away when I need to change his nappy. Please can you give any tips, how to stop this and to make the nappy changing experience pleasant

me : seriously trying to catch the idea 0:22 : hellow!

No child was harmed in the making of this video ..... 😂

Have granddaughter who has big emotions. She will turn away from us and not want us to be by her or talk to her. She has a hard time settling down. What do I do?

Do you do the same thing when you are in public?

My 4 yo keeps doing things which I tell him not to do, so even then I need to tell him calm voice ? In public ?

My grandmother had 19 children… imagine how that would work? OMG the human race would not be here still if we had to do this all the time. But I guess happy some people have all that time :). Let the child figure it out!

I Love You

He looks tired too....could also be the reason why he is crying

Can I use these on adults??

We never outgrow these techniques!

The after school burnout tantrum 😔

For me it's getting hard is if something changes in his routine. For example he doesn't want to wear his coat or Jacket on whilst going outside and he doesn't want to watch different cartoons.

When i got my finger stuck in door I cry and my nanny helps me crazy

Please make new videos