HHC-Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder 

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Someone I care deeply for has symptoms of BPD and even though she broke my heart, I still love her and pray for her every day.

Explaining BPD is hard enough as it is, this woman is amazing and so incredibly brave.

I’m 49 years old and my emotions rule my Life. I’m a survivor of child and adolescent sexual abuse and neglect This is my life explained and I didn’t even know Lonely and invisible

“I didn’t want to be seen as this monster. I loved people, I loved the world, I loved animals. ...I just didn’t get it” That line hit me hard :’( great speech, thank you for having the courage to share ❤️

Thank you for your story.. My late first husband was a Borderline. The fact that I kept loving him and forgave him the rages every time I think made it work. I was from a toxic home and he gave me a good life... I sort of clung to him and his love. He knew that I would never leave him. He studie after work and did 2 B degrees as well as honnours and his maters... As well as degree in teaching. He became psychotic at age 60..was at a psycogical institution and died o e month later. I am so glad to hear that the rage was not who he really was. His kindness.. Many beautiful qualities was who he really was! It does not mater that I was walking on eggshells. He never wanted to see a psychiatrist or take tablets

I've had Personality Disorder since my early teens i'm now 55 & it's prevented me from making something of my life. I had a very traumatic childhood being abandoned and put in a children's home for 11 years. "It feels like you aren't living at all."

Wow. I applaud her because not everyone makes it especially if they don't have the supportive group around them. Bless her courage to be able to talk about BPD and to give insight into what it was like for her to grow up with BPD.

Without going into too much detail... I think this presentation downplays the negative effects of BPD on those people around the sufferer. I've been in a relationship with someone and had to leave as her constant outburst almost ended in my death a number of times. There was no option to leave during an outburst without her physically assaulting me and when I finally did leave she used the police as a weapon. I guess I become a victim of a victim of this disorder. I had no idea of what I getting into, no one around her would assist me, they made excuses for her, no one else ever saw the horror of my existence with her. I'm not discounting that it's traumatic for the sufferer but it can be just as bad for those around them.

"They are that beautiful person." Thank you for this. I don't want to leave them.

I have just been diagnosed BPD and i tell you what these videos help so much and make sense of so many times of my life.

the first half of the video was the only time i've ever felt like someone really understood my brain in my entire life. thank you for making me feel less alone and for giving me hope that things will get better

I will say one thing tho. I refuse to let society tell me that I am an invalid because of how I feel. I have every right to feel deeply and passionately and modify my behavior to let me emotions serve me and other positively

DBT therapy has helped me a lot. So has Eckhart Tolle, going vegetarian, adding almonds & mood boosting foods, meditation and soon I hope to check out EMDR therapy. I hear it helps with PTSD. Borderline is an attachment disorder. Learn to self soothe and regulate in ways your mom didn't teach or show, deal with the flashbacks, etc and as time goes on it helped simmer ky rage and help me accept my past morex I also offer a library of mental health vids from many doctors and gurus on here who have helped me understand Borderline personality on a deeper and more FACT BASED clinical level. This. is is great.

I appreciate your experience. Thank you for sharing. I think what this disorder definitely needs is more people like you speaking out about their experience. Bpd is Actually very common and most suffering don't know what's wrong or are too afraid to Seek help because of the stigma attached to the disorder. It's important people with this disorder know that their are treatments and they can improve and live normal thriving lives.

This was a very compassionate and informative talk on BPD

The highs and lows. If you are truly in love with human nature and see the best in people you will see if you peel that onion. BPD people are the most loving and beautiful human beings. They're like wolves glorious beautiful strong and by nature dangerous for self and others but thats what makes them beautiful. The high and lows. Like day and night both make each other so beautiful.

One thing I’ve noticed about Borderline people: they all seem exceptionally bright.

I'm not so sure I'd say that her mother was there for her. It took me aback when she said that. As a child, this young woman was off on her own, couch surfing at 14. A mother who is 'there' for her daughter wouldn't allow that. A mother who is 'there' for her daughter would be searching for answers, solutions and ways to help her daughter. A mother would want to keep searching when one thing and another doesn't work. A mother would listen to the problems her daughter is feeling emotional about and validating her feelings. She help her child work through her feelings and understand them. A good mother lets her daughter know that her daughter's emotions are OK and that her feelings are not something to fear. Please note I did not say a mother should validate bad behavior. But bad behavior doesn't generally exist in a vacuum and a good mother would also recognize that. Something causes it, especially in a child. If I'm understanding correctly, this woman was sexually molested as a child before the age of 8 repeatedly? And then it continued throughout her childhood into her teens? And she didn't feel safe to talk about it to her mother? Yeah, this effects a child deeply. This is where the over emotion comes from. She was neglected. It sounds to me like mother was not showing her much love from an early age. No wonder she wanted to hold onto that kitten. I am happy that she got the help she needed finally, but it doesn't sound like her mother had all that much to do with it. If your kid is behaving over the top with emotion, wouldn't you want to know why? And if she felt as though she couldn't talk about it because she was afraid she'd get in trouble for her emotions, she was set up by the adults in her life to feel like that. The more I hear experiences about BPD, the more the illness sounds like scapegoating since they don't seem to be taken seriously. Childhood abuse causes complex PTSD.

The wreckage caused by BPD people is massive especially for parents siblings and spouses of them. Compassion and support for family, spouses, children is imperative. When you have a sibling with this it can make the “normal emotions “ child or whatever you want to call it feel invisible. No one wins and it is a nightmare for everyone not just the BPD person. This fact needs to be stated more in this video.

Wow! This is VERY powerful! Thank you for sharing!! ❤️

I have just seen my daughter in distress with a very angry outburst. It hurt so much to see her in that state because I could see it was not her. It made me realize she had BPD (she has been formally diagnosed). It made me realize how much she has been suffering. Seeing this video made me realize how much I need o learn t herp her, to understand her, and to be there when she goes to a dark place.

Male BPD. Getting away from my family is what worked for me. Men and women are different and this may play a role. I was traumatized as a child and shortly thereafter had an experience that made me think the solution to that trauma was to be a righteous person at all time; I was wrong. My efforts to stay righteous at all costs put me at odds with my family and the world. However, figuring this out and resolving it would not have been possible had I not left my sick family of origin. Sick people don't make good nursemaids and my mother and her family (both her parents and her daughter) taught me that. Getting healthy, for me at least, looked like getting away from sick people, working and processing my repressed emotions and endeavoring to become financially independent. Good luck, feel free to reply if you have any questions.

i understand her and feel for her and respect her for downplaying the abuse and shitty mom

its like she tells my story...

I can relate completely and at a point in my life where im fighting myself about starting dbt...i am at a dark point right now, but trying to pull myself through life

Thank you for this, my daughter has BPD and this is so exact and helpful.

Baby, thank you for your voice, for telling your story, my life makes more sense. Hugs to you!

I'd like to see a video about the victims of BPD people !!! My ex has BPD and she is NUTS and DANGEROUS

Key word for Cause of Most Personality Disorders" MOTHER"

I now see my life through her life, im 57 and i finally recognize it...so enlightening and some inner peace, unfortunately i had to go through a painful breakup to realize that..thanks for your story

Its hard when a family member has this. My mother has been displaying the signs of BPD for the past few years, with the official diagnosis coming last year. Its hard to deal with because she keeps treating majority of people in her life. My sister and her former best friends walked away because they cant handle mum, but have said they will come back when she is a tad more 'stable'. I have been trying for months to explain that to her and she just wont listen. It's OUR fault because WE dont understand what she is going through as she doesn't either. She keeps putting the blame on my sister who just doesn't talk about her and just wants mum to focus on herself. I'm struggling to cope as i want her seen to before i get stable as when someone says something small, she just blows it out of proportion. There's been so many times where she has made everyone else out to be in the wrong she she was and doesnt understand that

Realizing the greatest gift I could give someone I love, is to leave them alone is heartbreaking.

They should Get this Boderline treatment, online accesible to the public domain, so they can treat themselfs, especcaliy for the ones that are afraid to seek help.

That’s one of the paradoxes though....support of friends and family. How can one have needs/boundaries and give “support” to someone with BPD. The vitriolic abuse can be so overwhelming, even when you’ve helped in many ways. Whatever you do is never enough, not the right thing, and on and on. To agree with everything this person says would be invalidating to myself...and I’ve already had that in spades. I’m just learning to validate myself and that my needs and boundaries matter too. It seems codependent to “support” someone with BPD, at least it would be for the person I know. I’d love to support them, if they could recognize and appreciate it...but I am more punished for support than I am for completely not interacting with them. How is this supposed to work? I have become physically/emotionally taxed and unwell at times due to this person’s behavior. I’ve done more for them than almost anyone and yet they are angry for it and say I’ve never done anything. So, a person who needs validation, railroads over others with complete disregard and invalidation...and we are supposed to support that? I’d love for them to be healed, love themselves, stop living out their fears of abandonment and unworthiness...but they keep perpetuating those wounds themselves and not seeing it. It’s heartbreaking beyond measure. What we fear we create...applies to many, but especially to those with BPD. The self sabotage is of epic proportions. I wish all with BPD would see they are creating the barrier to the very love and acceptance they deeply want. It’s like chronically pushing on the pull door, and not seeing you’re keeping yourself out. 💔

wow! well done on managing to put it all into words- I've been trying for soooo many years & 2 much has happened 4 me 2 remember it all & keep on track of the subject. u r a strong and positive woman who is now helping others outta all ur pain. u've got a good heart 💜

I don't know how this would ever be possible, but I would love to form some type of dialogue with you. I am so grateful for your story which resonates so much with me. Thank you for being so brave. X

This video is AMAZING and LIFE CHANGING! Thank you!

I just came across your video and I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story. You allowed such vulnerability and rawness to come forth. You are precious to share this. I have a 33 year old daughter that has lived an almost identical life to yours and we’ve never known what was going on. Now her 13 year old daughter is developing the same behaviors. I’ve recently started going to therapy just to be able to handle more of the drama that has come into our family because of her behaviors. The very first day I saw my therapist and described what was going on, she said it sounded like my daughter had BPD. I don’t know how to approach my daughter with this possibility, for one thing shes never stays in therapy and has a very defensive respond to anything I say to her. If you have any suggestions for me, I would welcome your response. Thank you

my favourite BPD experience video, one that I think all most all people who have been dx with BPD can relate to on some level

You are so right on.... a great personal experience synopsis. watching this makes me feel less damaged and more heard. Thank you for bearing your soul. I feel stronger having seen this. Keep it up, amazing persevering woman.

This is the mirror image of my life in so many ways

Thank you for sharing your story.this touched my heart in a way nothing else had.

This is amazing!!!! Thank you so much for realizing that I am actually different, I ve been always feeling that I am strange as the storries begin and end rhe same way. Very tough life, it s like devil inside of an angel...never sleeps, always observes and plays the role in the moment you never would expect..You are actually anybody you want but only if you really want:)

You are speaking and it is exactly how my life has been.. how do I deal with this idk.. I'm in tears.. wow.. thank u I dont feel so alone now.

I don't have a support system. My fam does not care to read about or understand my suffering. So when it's dark it's dark.

Why isn't there a 12 Step BPD PROGRAM for us?

Thank you. It was a very helpful and a very wonderful presentation. Love and blessings : )

Thank you for sharing your story!!!

You are awsome! You really brought real clear understanding to emotions. Also you clearly explained that everyone will react strongly sometime but BPD goes on with difficulty dealing with emotions all the time. THANKS‼️💯🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😎🙌

Thank you, this is so important. Brave woman, it is such a hard thing to speak about. Thank you, stay strong always.

This is so me too. Hope you've gotten better.

Thank you. You are blessed to have a wonderful support system...most BPDs repel members of their support system.

What if family is the source of the anxiety and depression? Counter to supportive but abusive.

They are that beautiful person.Hmm thank you for that.

You are amazing I too have had BPD for many years 36 to be exact. I had the 6 sessions that you have to have prior to starting the actual DBT therapy. This was only offered to me 28 years into my illness after waking up on the Life Support after yet another off the scale determined Suicide attempt. For some reason Jesus keeps saving me time after time when I do a thorough attempt. Intensive Care Unit Life Support being given the last rights several times. Police sitting next to my hospital bed waiting to tell there Sergeant time of death. The only thing I can think of is fulfilling my ambitions of writing my unbelievable life story so that it can show others to surviving against the odds on any circumstance is possible and to encourage people to keep fighting and never to lose hope. Also I would love to raise funds to open a sanctuary for Lost Souls misunderstood unwanted people who have lost everything and have nothing and nobody. A place staffed that damaged people will find kindred spirits. People who they can feel like family and a place they feel loved and welcome...a place they can call home. Love to you. Jessica Bell xxx

Oh my GOD thank you for telling your story, your story is mine, tiny details are different but the feelings are exactly what I’m going through my whole life and I don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I have tried everything.everything is so intense all the time,

I’ve come to find that I probably have some level of BPD on my one journey to find help for panic/agoraphobia. I wonder how many others have this also.i feel the emotions of anxiety can be unbearable, and I have anger issues. I am an abuse survivor and always just thought I was just more sensitive and in tune to the world/ heightened sensitivity than others.

It's really lovely and comforting to hear educated people talk about 'me', but sadly the big wide world is nowhere near as educated, understanding or kind.

At 44:07~ “sometimes we fear that the emotion will never end” oh dear God, this has always been the worse part of the panic disorder/agoraphobia. Just leaving BPD Is linked

You have given me understanding and hope and a determination to stick with my partner whatever it takes.

Gosh, this is brilliant! Thankyou

I was put in a group home when I was 12 years old I was beaten at home etc I won't go into all of it but I wanted to say that after I got out almost 2 years later my mom said I think you got enough attention when you were there when I asked to go to the talent contest they were having. She was always this mean to me even as a adult, has not talked to me in 5 years because I did not wash the dishes after buying and cooking Easter dinner in 2015. People don't get borderline personality disorder and all the other things I have because parents were loving and kind. Most of the time we end up this broken because of what a parent or parents do to you and sexual abuse etc.

Thank you to this amazing person for bravely sharing your story

I have BPD from childhood neglect. I'm now 59 yrs old. Certainly not healed but I've learned to cope & protect my heart by keeping to myself. & im Lucky to have a gentle kind husband. If I meet someone sense a connect with, I take it with a grain of salt. I will text to say hi; may reach out again weeks later... still no response - Done. Good riddens. I consider it cold, rude & unkind when someone chooses not to respond to a simple hello. These are folks UNworthy of your friendship. Genuine pple are rare. & Folks are generally not trustworthy. Feeling lonely sometimes but peace of mind & time alone with GOD is beautiful & healing - my treasure. This world is very harsh.

I gave my life to God at 11 (Jesus) I had a really bad childhood and youth God brought me through I may Wright a story of my life I list my dreams Of what I wanted in my life But God did bring me through I'm very blessed and thankful

“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams..

The audio only has left channel. Are you trying to influence our left brain only ? :)

My trauma began when we moved to France 🇫🇷. Parents stuck me into a French school, assuming that children quickly pick up a new language. Well, a year later I was still struggling to learn French but I did get the art of daydreaming down pat. Then began terrible tantrums. The BPD diagnosis was a frightening possibility in my brainy little head. I was furious with Parents (both Harvard profs) for the years suffered and at 14 ran away for 7 months. My tantrums stopped, but people were afraid of my 'coldness'. Always wondered if I had BPD or just am an aloof (but loving) person. Few understood that i was hiding pain. The idea of BPD was a terrible concept to embrace. I read constantly that It was the worst possible diagnosis. Not treatable. Today I remain aloof and alone, though wish to participate. Is this BPD ?

Being in a relationship with this person is hell on earth

This only applied to me with my favorite person...or as I saw it as a replacement of my parents...I would say to by boyfriend at 14 yrs old...or even my bestie or best friend.....I love you more than my parents ever could.

Thank you for helping me understand.

Everything centres around the Mother. i love my mom but i also know that the situation i'm in, has largely to do with how she treated me. i'm in shambles. i have no hold on my life whatsoever and i rely on her and i bear this terrible guilt that i'm a burden to my parents. Also, no access to therapy because the only doc i opened up to, gave me pills that i'm on and that's it. How do i live with myself..? i have no idea. i don't want to die but i can't live either.

There is much in the way of good information here - and I will add that those of us with much empathy have been ground down by our significant others who have used us to perpetuate a cycle. At some point, a line needs to be drawn. People, when the iron is cold, need to choose to seek help and accept the love that sits with them as they work through their life questions.

What if you have no family?

My daughter has this borderline personality disorder and i have liter ally diagnose . i went researching and discovered my daughter has at 7 out of the 9 symptoms. I have placed her literally at the feet of Jesus. Hes the only one that can cure her. I pray that she and others that suffer with this desease find true Peace , Trust , and their identity in Jesus. Thank God this woman has a support system. Yes my daughter is a really kind person. I know that i know she'll be alright.

wow thank you so much...excellent information

My best friend has BPD and she got very angry with me because I told her I couldn't move with her, and I do wonder if part of it was her mood, because she had just gotten done telling me she wouldn't be mad if it wasn't what I wanted, and I felt pressured. But now she's deactivated her Facebook, totally withdrawn. I know she's hurt, and she said she doesn't want me around. I would never mean to hurt her. This happened on Thanksgiving. Her son's birthday is Tuesday. I want to respect her need for space, but don't want to let her son's birthday pass without acknowledgement. I want to wish him happy birthday and tell her I'm sorry I hurt her. Will she think I don't care, or is it better to let her come to me? Thank you so much for your help.

CONTENT WARNING : First half of video has mention of unspecified childhood sexual abuse, addiction, self harm behaviors (cutting), and medical/professional harm to children or adolescents (description of child being pulled from chair & dragged down hall in mental health facility) & other (mostly verbal) harm by professionals probably not intending harm. First half of video is a self-described person suffering from BPD describing their history and 1.5 yrs into DBT. Second half - about 38 minutes in - is therapist speaking about Borderline Personality traits and Borderline Personality Disorder mostly to adults with children who have Borderline Personality traits, it seems.

Thank.you for this wonderfully informative speech. This was an eye- opening moment for me..?

Good luck if you live in Canada and you are needing help with this. Some off the organization around this don’t even have the courtesy of returning your phone call even though your GP initiated the contact.

Expectations may be a problem. So much concentration on self. So many references too I and the word me. Id be depressed too if my mind centered on self. Just a thought. Just putting it out there and I’m probably wrong and uneducated in this. We do have a family member who has been diagnosed with this personality disorder.

Karyn is absolutely brilliant and immensely passionate.

Oh my goodness! The person who took the video never showed your slides. How could we get the benefit of the things you found important enough to put on a slide . . :) I really wish I could have seen the slides. Thank you. :)

I like Jamie's hair

I love this. I feel like I was watching her tell my life story. I'm struggling to find a video in Spanish that explains real life experiences like this. I want to tell my parents what I've been experiencing but I don't know how to explain BPD to them in Spanish. Does anyone have any recommendations?

Emotional regulation disorder = highly sensitive emotional human Not validated

Thank you for such precise articulation on this!!

What strikes me is that she isn’t full of blame or bitterness

It’s so hard for me to allow myself to feel bad for Them with Bpd such as the kind that are being explained in this video. I was torched by someone like they describe and I’m a very sensitive person i care and hold in crying over anything “sad”that I see or hear… But I really feel that there is no excuse for the lack of control over and over because at some point as an adult you have to of learned and seen others react correctly to anger and irritability.. to be 3o years old and older with people giving their all to try 24/7 to not upset them but be treated so rudely in return. Everyone feels emotion definitely but acting out negatively over what is thought or assumed or because of feeling insecure is not ok after becoming aware of their behavior and how it affects ones trying to support and love them is just not okay

Should have a speaker up that has been at the receiving end of this horrible behaviour, the gaslighting, lying, cheating, defamation ect

BPD so hard to live with so HARD Identify a lot with this share thank u XXX

At least she had support and realized that at twenty. I’m 36 years old and I’m just figuring this shit out. Suffering, suffering, suffering for years.

My family have given up on me.. my long term girlfriend has given up too... I exist in complete isolation as a result because I feel like I don't belong anywhere

How do you deal with BPD in an immediate family situation ( I have done all the validation and understanding I could possibly do) when I may have some BP traits myself and on top of that suffer from depression and grief ( having lost a loved one ) and the BPD person is tearing you down with anger and rage and harsh words and totally in hatred toward our family members that you happened to love

❤️ this video on many levels.

Very good info here. I want to understand this better.

HI, I wanted to ask if the first speaker would be my friend? I need friends...you're entire story felt as though it was my story. In other words, I understand you and how you feel because I can relate. Anyways, I could use some friends, having a bit of a hard tme right now. Thank you for sharing this

I have adhd but I can relate to everything she's been with.

Thanks for this