"High functioning" autism comes with invisible struggles

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21 май 2024

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Комментарии : 430

@YouLikeKrabbyPattiesDontYou 16 дней назад

whenever someone comes at you with the "you don't look autistic" my favourite response is always"yes I do, because I AM autistic, so this is what autistic looks like"

@alexanderstrauss4785 13 дней назад

No, thats what an average more intelligent person with autism is masking to and trying to be and behave like others.

@xbluebae 7 дней назад

I love this

@j.b.4340 5 дней назад

Take it as a compliment, not an insult.

@greedbun 2 дня назад

@@j.b.4340 When people say "you don't look autistic" it's usually because they only have one type of autistic person in mind or a perceived stereotype. This is not a compliment. It is a display of ignorance and implies that people who are "more obviously autistic" can't do well for themselves. Kinda hard to see the compliment here for anyone.

@grey5751 22 часа назад

There are studies on facial features being used to identify autism with fairly high accuracy, but I don'tthink that's what this is usually supposed to mem. It's just very likely that this was meant to say you appear to be doing well in spite of your (perceived) impairment. Intentions matter, and I like to assume the best of people.

@lisa_wistfulone7957 Месяц назад

“From a young age, I internalized the idea that an extremely high amount of stress and anxiety was normal.” That hit hard, and perfectly describes my experience too. I was diagnosed 4 years ago at 51. Health issues, mental health misdiagnoses, lots of social difficulties. I’m so grateful I now know about my neurodivergence and what it means. It doesn’t all go away, but now I’m not just a confused victim of my own life. I have support, and I can choose how to support the needs I never knew I had.

@marthamurphy7940 Месяц назад

"a confused victim of my own life" -- I love that phrase!

@mary-janereallynotsarah684 Месяц назад

I had migraines all my life until I dropped out if high school. I also started self medicating once I realized alcohol took away my anxiety. I was so tired of being anxious.

@joycebrewer4150 Месяц назад

I was not diagnosed until 59. What is now called level 1. The relative who bankrolled my testing assumed there would be a therapy to "fix" whatever mental hangup I had. They were disappointed to be told there wasn't, and fell back on training that suggested there darn well WAS a way to get me to launch out into a typical life. Basically homegrown ABA, which left both of us angry and exhausted. I finally insisted on a separate residential arrangement for me, to get out of that. It took a couple years to get my sense of well being mostly restored. There are still changes I would make if I could, but my finances are shot. The degree of independence I have here is precious to me. I hope that doesn't change for a long time.

@angeladyson7367 27 дней назад

I often get migraines from stress, not enough sleep, or too much bright light.@@mary-janereallynotsarah684

@Jakkiroxx105 25 дней назад

I had extreme anxiety and stress since my childhood too. My childhood was horrible and that added to it. I'm also Autistic

@SunnySunshineField Месяц назад

Society loves us to shut up and fit in. They love our ability to mimic social behaviors, our desire to do everything the “right” way, our honesty & empathy. So we go thru life masking out the wazoo. We do it bc it makes other people happy with us. We fall apart but do it in private so we don’t inconvenience anyone. Others are clueless as to what is going on & honestly I don’t think they could handle the truth. It is the same for someone with other issues that society is not sympathetic towards. Health issues, etc. We become experts at not “inconveniencing”. And because of this we do not get the help we need (if that help even exists….)

@kateshiningdeer3334 Месяц назад

THIS! This is my exact experience. I spend so much of my life being pushed out of my comfort zone that I refuse to do it to others, even when I probably should. You are the first person to put it so clearly! Thanks. 😊

@julietteferrars3097 Месяц назад

💜

@neonice Месяц назад

This is pretty much the same for everyone. No one enjoys having to blend in with every boring place yet they have to do it. It sucks for everyone, that's just life.

@notNajimi Месяц назад

@@neoniceshoo

@kathydodge8028 Месяц назад

@@neonice the difference, I think, is that people with autism have no idea how to function in society on pretty much any level by default, without (often intense, analytical, and very prolonged) observation of everyone else. It's like we didn't get the start-up operational software, and our self-learning system therefore has to overwork itself to the brink to be able to keep us functional.

@perrymorcombe9289 Месяц назад

I was diagnosed as high functioning 4 years ago, at 68! I have been seeing my wonderful therapist for 8 years now, and yesterday I told her I had been feeling a new feeling, feeling happy!!! ONG! Experiencing feeling happy at 72!

@CruzR1111 Месяц назад

That’s so amazing, inspiring and heartwarming to hear. Keep on shining that awesome light of yours. 😇

@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334 Месяц назад

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@brendalevesque6384 Месяц назад

I was 62 when I was diagnosed four years ago.

@nryane Месяц назад

@perrymorecombe9289 Great feeling, right?!!!🥰

@phoenixtoliman1881 Месяц назад

Spirit 3640 I had a therapist like that. ( CBT) I also found it very distrusting. Since learning also Autistic ( diagnosed in my 60s) I've found the advice from many Autistic people on youtube far more helpful. There is a really brilliant one I cant find at the moment. See what makes sense to you, is the most important. "Mom on the spectrum" has a good video to help with therapist. Kate Morton is also good. Yo Samdy Sam ( How therapy can traumatise you. Hope you find what you need.

@bobbyb9718 Месяц назад

Well said. Being “high-functioning” externally comes at a great internal cost that most can’t see.

@xbemos Месяц назад

⬆️ ⬆️ ⬆️

@ms-literary6320 Месяц назад

One of my mum’s first comments when she first *began* believing I *might* have autism was “well you’re very high functioning!” I think she was feeling defensive for not noticing. I just kept thinking “at what cost though, at what cost though”

@julietteferrars3097 Месяц назад

My mom gets very defensive too. Whenever I talk about the struggles I had as a child she gets all guilty and makes me feel bad for bringing it up.

@jul.escobar Месяц назад

At a lot of cost! The uncomfort and mental duress of squeezing self into a box is difficult to deal with self. It costs us more than it should.

@lulumoon6942 Месяц назад

Indeed.

@user-wh2kt4zf6r 29 дней назад

@@julietteferrars3097we need to normalize it being ok to not be in the life of our parents who treat us like this. If something or someone doesn't align with you, you simply walk away. No obligation. We do it for breakups, friendships, why not narcissistic family members? I don't talk to much of my family as I was emotionally, physically and mentally abused and it's best for me and them for me to not be in their lives. It's better for my mental health. I was diagnosed with BPD last year. And I believe I was born with this condition and it amplified more and more as I got older due to abuse.

@doctorberkowitz 28 дней назад

Sometimes I think the purpose of autism is for a small minority of the population to truly understand that humans are garbage.

@TomiSimatupang Месяц назад

No humble-brag intended.. 10+y ago I forced myself to go to a party where several musicians were present. I let it all out in an improvised jam session that went on for hours and did things I didn't know I could. At the end one of the musicians said "'What have we done to deserve to make music with a genius like you". I had all possible conflicting emotions at the same time and would have loved to say what *I had to do to be there. Instead I went home and turned my phone off for the next week. I know many artists like this - we get exploited a lot.

@jul.escobar Месяц назад

Great story I can totally relate too. I'll be great one moment and hiding the next. I get so burnt out after events, hiding recharges 🙌

@TomiSimatupang Месяц назад

@@jul.escobar Thank you! Yep, that's the downside of making hard stuff look easy. Wishing you the best! As I write, I am preparing for the next adventure. I've normalised communication my needs beforehand but that doesn't mean people react to it like they should, if at all.

@jul.escobar Месяц назад

@@TomiSimatupang thank you for the good vibes! Cheers to you and your next adventure! 🙌 Good for you and your improved communication with people. People are funny things, we cant worry about them so much. They are barely thinking of us. LOL I'm trying to refocus myself away from them and their reactions, I place to much internal emphasis on them. Darn abandonment issues.

@TomiSimatupang Месяц назад

@@jul.escobar Hey, thank you also! Well not worrying about people is a difficult task. There is a sociotechnical side to this. For instance, I have communicated my special needs to work at an event over a month prior. They are making me go through meltdowns by completely ignoring that, even waited until the last moment to sign the contract. It's underpaid and will be very strenuous. With my Aspergers, I still have to work to pay my bills. I think that where we can, we must let them know what they are doing to us. Even though and just because all of our needs are so individual, and one we all have in common is the difficulty in communicating with allistic people. I see this as a way of strengthening our community, just like emotional support, for which again I am very grateful! I wish you all the best!

@menthalightfoot4948 Месяц назад

Whenever someone says something like that to me, I now say, “I know.” And then I provide a brief explanation of what masking is, and why I appear so high functioning to neurotypical people because I had no choice.

@Sibelladonna Месяц назад

I think teeth can be very related because many people store stress in their teeth. Many people also grind their teeth (TMJ) from stress, and teeth alone can play a huge role in terms of sensory issues. Going to the dentist for a sensorily sensitive person can also feel like its own unique form of torchure on many levels. I also think that we are very aware of our teeth, and so we can also fixate on them, become paranoid about them, and therefore manifest more issues with them. The same can be true for other parts of the body as well. At least, that's my two cents. Blessings all ❤

@brendalevesque6384 Месяц назад

I grind my teeth too, mostly at night. I have to wear a night guard. The dentist says my teeth are in poor shape because of decades of teeth grinding.

@LHydro Месяц назад

I get so stressed my teeth crack and fall out and the pain is too much to get worked on without spending 6k extra to be sedated. The pain is too much too often. I don’t see life lasting long but I know there are ways to fix them if one has money…

@TomiSimatupang Месяц назад

People get so freaked out when they hear my jaw cracking! One of my stims has always been clacking rhythms with my teeth. When I sat down behind the drums for the first time, I only had to transfer that to my limbs 😅!

@JeremiahSenner Месяц назад

One of my low visibility stims is grinding my teeth. Also, I grew up rather unsupervised so basically never brushed my teeth till my mid 20's. I was homeschooled in a rural area and my family never participated in community social events except going to the store and church. But an interesting thing is that I have a high tolerance to pain. I had wisdom teeth surgically removed in my 40s with only local anesthetic and barely took anything for pain afterwards. I was wide awake and fully conscious during surgery and found the dental processes fascinating.

@alxndria1 Месяц назад

@@TomiSimatupang I do that too! I’m teeth drumming right now!

@jimallen8238 Месяц назад

I had an autistic classmate in middle school that was a brilliant artist and was being “mainstreamed” in our class. He wore a helmet as a younger child because he was prone to fits of rage where he would repeatedly bang his head against the wall. So, when I was diagnosed as an adult, it was hard at first. I connected autism with severe disability.

@naomiparsons462 22 дня назад

Yeah I also experienced something similar, even after hundreds of hours of research on autism I was still thinking "Yeah this is similar to me but OBVIOUSLY I can't be autistic" because I was just connecting autism with everyone I know who is autistic with very obvious and severe characteristics.

@maryn4150 9 дней назад

@@naomiparsons462same here, my only reference to autism was a classmate of mine in elementary school who was a guy and who seemed further on the spectrum. I didn’t even know males and females portrayed different behavioural symptoms, let alone that not even two people with autism can be identical to one another! Now i know why some things i don’t relate to - like echolalia - show up in others and yet i can still be autistic.

@thehomeeclady Месяц назад

I'm gen X and I don't talk about my "issues" - just mask them as best I can. A few years ago, I worked with a group of elder gen Z and thought it would be ok to share with them why I was weird. They ostracized me and gossiped about how I was lying behind my back. They immediately started talking down to me like I was stupid. It made the temporary work assignment unbearable. I don't share it anymore. People in general do not have a grasp of what autism is or means. Thanks for trying to publicly change that.

@zofiajaneczek184 28 дней назад

As another Gen X, I’m truly sorry. So many of us in our generation are just fitting the pieces together and they’re starting to make sense as so many of us were flat out abused and had really horrible lives. It’s the weak and broken parts of Gen X that makes Gen X so strong!

@AndreaCrisp 27 дней назад

Also GenX here. Totally relate. Just figuring out the autism and figured out ADHD-I 2 years ago. Trying to decide to disclose and really not okay with hiding or disclosing. Ugh. We just can't win.

@hedwigwendell-crumb91 25 дней назад

I am a millennial. I shared my diagnosis with my manager recently (late diagnosed, first time sharing at work) who is gen x. He has spoken to me like I am an idiot since then and always assumes I don't understand. You are right when you say the general public do not have a grasp of what autism means.

@KadieJ501 24 дня назад

I'm a millennial who's been overly socially abused by gen z ers. Millennials got hated on so much back in the day, but I have never seen people so sick and mean as those in gen z. They're all emotionally numb and stuck in some shared digital psychosis

@TestUser-cf4wj 22 дня назад

I will reject any diagnosis of any kind of neurodivergence. I refuse to accept the pathologizing of non-normative behavior. Everyone is unique. We all have our own way to be. There is no such thing as the "right" way to be. I am also Gen X. I am not a victim. Of anything or any one.

@slys114 Месяц назад

I was persistently sick, endless breathing issues. Like yourself dental issues were also prevalent; grinding teeth, cavities. My first therapy experience was when I was a little girl now I'm 74 and will be in therapy indefinitely. It is my current therapist of 8 years, that diagnosed my autism. The answers of my life are falling into place. I am FINALLY able to understand WHY I could never connect the dots before. I'm so happy to know the why's.

@marthamurphy7940 Месяц назад

I completely agree. High school, especially, was miserable. It was so stressful. I should have fit in, since I was one of the top students academically, but I never fit in socially. My sister was a year behind me -- she had lots friends and a boyfriend. College was better. I had a couple of friends to hang out with, but they graduated a year ahead of me, so I had to make new friends senior year. I married a man who turned out to be controlling and verbally abusive. I always felt like a failure, but I couldn't figure out why everything was so much harder for me than for other people. I also had PMDD and have fibromyalgia. I have had some very happy times, but mostly life has been a struggle. I was diagnosed at age 75.

@panodilla 8 дней назад

OMG ! I will be 75 this year and I realized recently that I am autistic . Tests confirmed it and all the puzzle pieces started being put together . Got my whole life explained

@marthamurphy7940 7 дней назад

@@panodilla You and me both!

@amyrivers4093 Месяц назад

Thank you. I was diagnosed at 32 and I'm now 46. The hardest part of my diagnosis was my sister. I was relieved because it explained my whole life really. I have many physical illnesses like crohns disease, arthritis, pica, damaged venous system etc. Both my parents passed away in the last few years and it's been hard. My sister has lived on the other side of the world since she was 22 and I was 20. She mistakes my autism as me being dumb. She hired a lawyer in an attempt to put me into a care facility so she could have my half of our inheritance. She doesn't understand why I'm reluctant to talk to her.

@lindaT82 Месяц назад

Sorry you have gone through this. That sounds extremely difficult and sad. Hope you have safety and peace 💖

@amyrivers4093 Месяц назад

@lindaT82 thank you, I have my own home now and two little puppies to brighten up everyday. 😊

@lightseeker3100 7 дней назад

Holy shit, that is not forgivable do not talk to her!

@amyrivers4093 7 дней назад

@@lightseeker3100 That's only one of many things she tried to do after we lost our mum to cancer and then Dad 13 months later unexpectedly but peacefully passed away in his sleep. I'm trying to forgive her my sake, but I'll never trust her again.

@heatherinde Месяц назад

"From a young age, I internalized the idea that an extremely high amount of stress and anxiety was normal." This. I’m trying to unlearn that now and what a job that is. Thanks for sharing this.

@doctorberkowitz 28 дней назад

I feel like if I let go of the stress and anxiety, I won't be able to survive.

@rickm-42delta95 23 дня назад

@@doctorberkowitzI held in the stress so long it almost killed me from heart problems. The career path I was on pushed me beyond my breaking point. Letting go was the only way I *could* survive. And I never let the stress back in. I moved, redirected my career path to something less stressful, and my life is 1000% better not worrying about the problems and stressing about everything all the time. I promise there is life beyond the stress, and its absolutely wonderful. I hope this helps you

@lrwiersum Месяц назад

Extremely high level of stress indeed !! Level 1 as well. I’m 65 and prefer isolation now. My nervous system has had enough !!

@nryane Месяц назад

Isolation tends to suit me, as well. My friends don’t understand that I’d rather stay home for some events. My dog and cat are my main companions.

@xbemos Месяц назад

40 late diagnosed life makes sense now. Mom of a large family. I’m done w ppl all they do is judge and are extremely mean. Even after I’ve told them in neurodivergent and process different. Sucks to relate to the crazy woke crowd more than my own generation because the young kids all atleast grew up knowing people were different. Isolation.

@doctorberkowitz 28 дней назад

Mine too.

@gordocojones 26 дней назад

I still have never seen anyone about it, but I can identify with what you’re saying here.

@jenna_sass Месяц назад

I stumbled onto your channel last year, thinking you'd have some tidbits to share as a mom to an autistic child. My daughter is a HF 10yo and we never understood where she "got it from." But instead, you opened my eyes to the realization that I have been HF all my life! I'm 49 and undiagnosed officially, but the autism quotient test essentially confirmed it. I now see so much of myself in my daughter and I get it now. Stress, anxiety, masking, stimming, always second guessing myself, ruminating... figuring that having a million things going thru my brain at one time was just normal and "I guess everyone does it??" Even though I didn't know any other kids who could sit at the piano and play for 2 hours, just because. :) It has given me so much compassion for my younger self, and other family members that I now see links in as well. I needed your channel. Thank you, Taylor. 💖

@xbluebae 7 дней назад

I know this is slightly off topic, but I love seeing older moms talk about their kids. It makes me less worried about not having had children yet 🙈

@AdventurousGeek День назад

Same!! I’m 43 and just received a formal diagnosis of high functioning autism (among other things) for my 12 yr old son. Funniest part was when I found out that it’s usually inherited and I started wondering who he might have got it from. I always saw so much of myself in my son and felt I understood so many of his struggles. Going through the evaluation process for him made me for the first time in my life begin to connect the dots to realize that I have major signs of autism as well. So now I’m proceeding to get myself evaluated too. ❤

@autisticBBBELady Месяц назад

I am a level 1 and was diagnosed at 61 yrs old. I am now 64. Life has been and continues to be a struggle. I am relieved to know, however, that there is an actual reason that I struggle and I am being more understanding with myself. I am not less, just different. I am glad that I am different when it comes down to it. I see things in the big picture of the world that a vast majority do not. I'm OK with that. I no longer apologize for my quirks. I finally just let go and be me.

@doctorberkowitz 28 дней назад

Me too. Everyone hates me.

@autisticBBBELady 28 дней назад

@@doctorberkowitz They are probably afraid because they don't understand us.

@innocentnemesis3519 Месяц назад

I’ve seen a lot of content recently trying to browbeat high maskers into accepting that masking is a “privilege.” I’m still trying to understand the extent of my disability, and it just feels like more ableism to dismiss the struggles masking has caused me as being a “privilege.” Like, wanting to unalive myself for half my life isn’t a privilege yall, stop trying to make me internalize the ableism I’m still trying to unpack!

@gengarfluid Месяц назад

In the plainest sense of the notion, we are privileged to be *able* to mask, in that it is something that we can do that can save our lives or give us access to levels of independence our non-masking members of the community do not have. As a black autistic person i am privileged to be able to mask where my cousin cannot - it has saved me from police brutality in instances he wasn't able to avoid, and the crumbling of my mask then exposed me to violence. He didn't have a choice or access to the option to mask. Which isn't to say it's all good, or that the way we are forced to mask is healthy or safe and without risk or trauma. Anyone who denies that is patently wrong - but it is still important to recognize that it is something we can access, and that access grants us a lot, even if it is at an expense.

@NoiseDay Месяц назад

It's not a privilege, it's a survival mechanism

@kathydodge8028 Месяц назад

@@gengarfluid fuck, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you both

@TheWilliamHoganExperience Месяц назад

@@NoiseDay Exactly. Masking is an involuntary survival mechnism. Masking is an extreme form of social camoflage to avoid predators. It's driven by terror. Comments about privledge always seem to have resentment at their core. I could just as easily argue that the higher levels of support level 2 and 3 autistic people recieve are "privledges". But that would be untrue, cruel, and insane. Recieving care and support for basic survival needs isn't a privledge: It's a human right. Supporting ourselves through masking is only necessary if we do not recieve the social acceptance we require to survive unmasked. Unfortuantely masking comes at a terrible cost. It slowly suffocates us. So what the "masking = privledge" argument says is: "death by suffocation is a privledge" Absolutely nuts. %-/

@sarahporter9892 Месяц назад

@NoiseDay yes, it is a survival mechanism, so to have access to it in a world that's often hostile to people who "act" autistic. This person is just saying that people can acknowledge that without dismissing the struggles that come with being a high masking autistic person.

@persephone1001 Месяц назад

So much this. Officially diagnosed last month at 40, got my ADHD diagnosis just before my 40th birthday. I have severe asthma, allergies, tinnitus, IBS, migraines, depression, anxiety and PTSD. Not that I look autistic... I feel like we should be really proud of getting this far without the support we should have had.

@Jo-kh1yo 12 дней назад

Leaky gut is linked to autism, asthma, anxiety, depression and many other symptoms. IBS is just a term for a symptom. Leaky gut affects the gut brain axis.

@SweetTD Месяц назад

I have been searching and searching for a therapist that specializes in neurodivergent people! Can’t find one anywhere. I had a horrible provider diagnose me and then proceed to tell me I was depressed and needed to affirmations. We really need better healthcare providers in all areas that truly understand our neurodivergence!

@siennaprice1351 Месяц назад

I was born with a rare brain condition that caused me to be totally blind, and it also caused me to be on the autism spectrum. I also have childhood PTSD. I haven’t been told that I don’t look autistic. But I have been told that I don’t look blind. I’ve also heard people tell others with PTSD that they don’t look like or act like they have PTSD. It’s because they don’t always see our struggles, because a lot of us were shamed for things lik crying, struggling, and just being “too sensitive.”

@hameley12 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing. My cousin was deemed not blind enough to be in a special group that gathered for therapy. He was never invited. Which made us really upset. But now he is seeing a therapist for his PSTD. It isn't kind or professional to say such things to anyone. When I was diagnosed with AuDHD at age 26. Everyone said "But you don't look Autistic. You know? Like that savant movie?" Sadly, I had to educate myself and my family about what Autism/ADHD and AVPD is, and how it works. Few walked out of my life. Others stayed and listened. Some of them even apologized for being so hard on Eddie and me growing up. Eddie had been blind on one eye most of his life and no one believed him, until he was also diagnosed as an adult. I hope you are doing well. And more humans wish to learn than judge. 😊 💕

@siennaprice1351 Месяц назад

@@hameley12 thank you! I’m doing great. I won’t go into detail, but my childhood PTSD was from a caregiver who limited me from doing certain things. Mainly things that benefited my blindness and autism and so many ways. I wasn’t allowed to touch everything. I wasn’t allowed to run into things. I wasn’t allowed to show my emotions, and I wasn’t allowed to not communicate my emotions. I know it might not make sense to you. But I was darned if I did communicate my emotions, but I was darned if I didn’t communicate my emotions. I really wasn’t allowed to do anything. I now live with my mom. I’m also married to a husband who is also blind and autistic.

@hameley12 Месяц назад

@siennaprice1351 I have an idea of what you mean. My first adopted family taught me not to cry, not move, not run around the house, and other things I enjoyed. Not just me but a group of other kids. We were told to put those mean, ugly thoughts into multicolored cute little bottles, breath all that bad vibe out. Once the bottle was filled, throw it outside. Lol! For the others, it worked but not for me. Being told or limited from doing certain things as kids it deems us as statues rather than humans. I could not and still can't act act like a statue. They even put me through ABA. 😄 Years later, I still stim, run around the house on tippy toes, bare. And yell out loud when feeling frustrated 😂 They try to limit us, and shape us, but there's a part of us that cannot be removed, and that's a childlike mindset freedom. I'm sure other autis feel different about this. 💕 Also, congrats on finding true love and having a family. I'm sure they are lovely people.

@siennaprice1351 Месяц назад

@@hameley12 yes. They really are. Other things I wasn’t allowed to do was keep my emotions to myself. By that same caregiver ironically. One minute I was told to not cry or be mad. The next I was told not to hide my emotions and to tell them what was wrong otherwise, they couldn’t help me. They would tell me that talking about it would help me to feel better. But if I did talk about it, then I would get shamed. I wasn’t allowed to touch and explore my surroundings as a blind person. I was told to keep my hands to myself. Especially at stores. I wasn’t allowed to touch anything. I wasn’t allowed to run into things without being shamed, or laughed at. I was told that I could help it, and that I could control it. And that I was just using blindness as an excuse. I was also mocked for having meltdowns, and even slapped a couple times for it. Thankfully, my mom doesn’t do that.

@kathydodge8028 Месяц назад

@@hameley12 It's awful that no one believed him until he was an adult, and that he wasn't allowed into a therapy group that really could've helped. Did people just think he was lying for attention or something? Smh

@mindymac_does_stuff Месяц назад

So yesterday I was with my ADHD therapist explaining some sensory struggles, and some social struggles, and eye contact struggles and she brought up that it could be ASD, and then she gave me some examples that she saw that I hadn't discussed (hating shoes, falling apart when my routines get disrupted). We made a plan on how to navigate going forward. I felt shocked but good. Fast forward to a few hours later, I tell a close friend what's happened and I get ' but you're so successful/high functioning' and 'well aren't we all a little autistic'. And maybe it's not ASD but that shit isn't helpful, and do your point I have 2 auto immune disorders, one which constitutes chronic pain, and then a third thing that's considered chronic pain. I look fine, but if you know me, you know I'm in my 40s going on 87 🤦

@kinseylise8595 26 дней назад

I heavily agree with the sentiment "maybe it's not this condition, but doing things to help that condition helps me". DBT therapy techniques were specifically designed for boderline personality disorder but we've discovered that they're very useful for all kinds of things, this is one of the places breathing exercises come from! And when I first thought I might have autism sure I didn't know, but I did realize that wearing earplugs and doing things to make my body physically relax made me less miserable, which I wouldn't have if I hadn't looked into ideas for autistic people. Just today I was walking through a loud area and covered my ears. Before I considered that I might have autism I would have never considered covering my ears because it appears abnormal. Now that I've considered it, I recognize that forcing myself to endure 2 minutes of loud construction noise means losing that much more patience for later in the day. Can I afford that? Do I want to endure that? Those are questions I never would have asked myself before considering if I had autism. I bet there are people who don't have autism who would benefit from these kinds of ideas, and I also bet that this is how a lot of people start to realize they might have autism. I hope you can find many ways to accomodate yourself, regardless of what diagnosis they fall under. If they make life easier or better, you should do them.

@mindymac_does_stuff 26 дней назад

@@kinseylise8595 I agree with all of this. I actually spent some time yesterday writing down the struggles I have with sensory and social, and then what accommodations I can give myself. I'm really lucky that diagnosis or not my partner is super good with all my sensory needs, he knows to warn me if loud noises are coming and has no problem with me pulling the curtains mid day because it's too bright or wearing my sunglasses on rainy days when we're out. But to your point, if I hadn't started suspecting ASD I wouldn't have given myself permission for some of these things. I've been feeling really disregulated lately and have felt bad about it, but again, I took a step back and was able to say 'well it's the brightest time of year where I live, longest days, and I had a medical emergency a couple weeks ago, its no wonder I'm out of sorts because these are huge sensory events for me', so I approach myself with a little more compassion and understanding. I work to find the ways to relax and settle again. Even 5 years ago I wouldn't have had the words for this if I didn't suspect ASD and started sorting through some of my challenges under that lense. Anyway, long story short I completely agree, diagnosis or not, approaching our challenges through the lense of finding ways to accomodate ourselves where we can definitely feels right. Because like you, if I walked past that construction zone without covering my ears I'd probably be agitated for much longer then I needed to be. Also, as I age I just don't care so much what looks abnormal to the outside world. If it doesn't hurt anyone else or infringe on their rights or use of a space then they can eat dirt if they want to make my sunglasses on a rainy day an issue 😀

@branes1212 6 дней назад

I was just diagnosed yesterday. I'll be 43 Saturday. It's crazy the flood of emotions I went through and the acceptance I feel like I can better give myself now that I know where so many things I have daily stem from.

@margiecole824 Месяц назад

Treated for anxiety and depression for many years. Finally, at age 75, self-diagnosed as autistic. Frustrated with my last therapist when I told her I don't fit in anywhere. She basically said count your blessings. So I did my own research and now I understand why I have struggled so much with jobs, relationships, life in general.

@CruzR1111 Месяц назад

So well said. I’m 47 and suspected in 2008 when a health professional mentioned it but I blocked it and ignored it til 18 months ago when perimenopause exacerbated both Aufism and ADHD exponentially. Only got diagnosed for ADHD 2.5 year ago and though I’ve not gone for formal diagnosis for Autism it’s very clear that everyone in my immediate family is. The one brother I shared this with got a formal diagnosis and my other brothers told me individually that they were too and thought everyone in the family was. My ability to mask is why I struggled through 11 years of drug addiction. It allows me to be more social and not I think everything as much that is until the chemicals imbalance from constant drug use just made me a basket case. I did energy healing and conventional therapy for 15 years now and it’s helped a lot. Your videos about autism in women is what finally made me realise it was time to stop hiding and pretending and for that I am truly grateful. I really needed this particular vid right now too so thank you once again from my grateful neurospicy heart. 💓 🙏

@marthamurphy7940 Месяц назад

When I told my 18-year-old granddaughter I'm autistic, she said, "Well, that explains the rest of us!"

@CruzR1111 Месяц назад

@@marthamurphy7940 aww that’s sweet and humorous. Did it get worse for you during the perimenopausal years?

@noahzinc Месяц назад

“Neurospicy” is a fun term

@marthamurphy7940 Месяц назад

@@CruzR1111 I didn't know I was autistic then, but I had PMDD really bad for many years.

@Askalott Месяц назад

I struggled with opioid use disorder for 10 years. In addition to childhood trauma, I think a big reason why I used drugs was so I could mask more effectively. It really helped slow my brain down and turn down the volume on all the sensory input. Obviously it only “works” for so long and eventually my entire life burned to the ground. Now I’m slowly rebuilding with this new understanding of myself and it’s pretty scary. I feel so raw and exposed, constantly trying to act neurotypical when I know the way I experience the world is so much more intense than most people can even imagine.

@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334 Месяц назад

How many of us have autoinmune diseases? 🙋🏻‍♀️.

@jeffcarr392 Месяц назад

My son has an ASD diagnosis, I'm quite sure my dad was and I am on tue spectrum. I've never heard anyone say that to somebodies face. But I'd always want to respond with "that's funny, you don't look stupid"

@joycevanrossum1811 Месяц назад

I was sick all the time, every other month I would be out for a week. Since I have been diagnosed, it gave me room to make my life less stressful and I have been sick significantly less. It's striking.

@wolfdreams2000 Месяц назад

I'm 63 and was just diagnosed autistic level 1 with adhd in January, and I have so much to learn about this in correlation to my life. I, too, was sick a lot as a kid. Bronchitis was my thing once my tonsils came out when I was 6. And my teeth? Horrible. Thanks so much for all you do, Taylor 😊

@sandisslantoneverything Месяц назад

I have been sick so much, from anxiety and a panic disorder, that it gave me an eating disorder, and finally under stress I couldn’t keep any food down. After an 18 month bought that took me down to 95 pounds at age 49, they put me on a feeding tube. That….was when they diagnosed me with autism and adhd. They knew about my son for 8 years by that time. My stomach will never come back online, fully, and my teeth are ruined. But now we know. And instead of therapists trying to ‘cure’ my anxiety with talk, my current therapist knows to work with a situation, from an AuDHD standpoint. It has really changed so much, and my husband understands better now. Thanks for talking about this.

@andreag601 Месяц назад

This is happening to me too! I'm having my appointment tomorrow so I can get some anxiety medication and finally eat again. People underestimate stomach issues with autism. I know it's a part of it.

@sandisslantoneverything Месяц назад

@@andreag601 The Mayo Clinic doctors that I see, say it takes about 10 years for the things they discover or do research on to make it to a mainstream doctor. The brain-gut connection is very real and completely entangled. Know that you need to take care of your stomach, and work to eat what you can and gently during a flair. I hope you feel better soon.

@andreag601 Месяц назад

@@sandisslantoneverything Thanks for the kid words! You lost a lot of weight, but since I look to be a healthy weight in person and on the scale weight wise, people think I'm doing okay and nothing's wrong with me. I'm hoping to get some help today!

@SweetCedar Месяц назад

I'm so sorry little you had to endure that strain and pain for so long without access to help, answers, and validation. I absolutely empathize and grieve for all of us who grew up this way before finding out we were just different, not broken! (I include the adult portion of growing up here, because we never really stop growing and changing do we :) Thank you for sharing so genuinely and generously. You've been immensely helpful in my journey of discovery and compassionate understanding. *insert sparkly hearts of gratitude* Hope you have a lovely rest of your week! :)

@nryane Месяц назад

THIS!!! Thank you, Taylor! This post best says what I’ve attempted to find out about myself for decades! My diagnosis was almost a year ago, when I was 80. I’m still in therapy, as autism compounded by CPTSD, can make one wonder about who she is! I, too, have been ill a lot. I had tonsillitis and illness, when I was a kid, was ill during my work week and would crash on the weekends, often taking at least Monday off, many times. Therapists, counselors, doctors visits, were part of my life. The diagnosis has given me many “aha’s!”, explanations for what I experienced. Thanks, again!!! Keep on posting. I learn so much about myself from your posts.❤

@ArtemensiaK Месяц назад

I feel you. SO many diagnoses were thrown at me. And everything was still off. And then Instagram Algorith for ADHD and consequently for Autism. So I took action and sure enough: Autism and ADHD. And I finally don't feel like a strange, crippled horse anymore, but a perfectly normal zebra, if that makes sense. I have my diagnosis now for 2,5 months and these were the easiest, best months of my life. I know how I must act, to get things done, how I work. Purely by accepting me. I am currently in the process of ADHD-Diagnosis (officially), and after that therapy, meds, disabeling pass (Dunno what it's called in english). SO much better

@katjajunnila9496 Месяц назад

The perfectly fine zebra phrase makes a lot of sense to me because my husband has Asperger's/ADD and he uses parables in his speech all the time. :D When you find more relevant and relatable traits from youtubers like momonthespectrum here, your relief keeps growing 😊 Blessings to you 💚

@RetroHoo Месяц назад

This is exactly my experience... Lots of Ill fitting diagnosis as well. I got my diagnosis at 44/45. I have teeth issues as well, odd wearing marks, stress related. Thanks for sharing.

@Azzi0921 Месяц назад

My diagnosis at 42 June 2023.

@LynIsALilADHD Месяц назад

I posted a video yesterday that was really similar to this.... essentially it was a trauma dump of the things my missed dx's have let slip by as just "normal" in my life experience. Looking a certain way definitely didn't make our issues less noticeable internally.

@chong2389 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing that part of your experience. The seemingly perpetual childhood illnesses and dental issues were, and to a certain extent, still are my story too. At age 11, I spent a week in hospital undergoing tests to determine why I got sick so often. All tests were negative. My paedeatrician concluded it was probably the tonsil tags that I still had due to an incomplete removal due to haemorrhaging during the operation at age 7. The tags were removed but I continued to get sick two to three times per year. I went to therapists and doctors too. They only treated me for depression. They did not go into any life history, but then, that was in the 70s.

@armentajewel4165 Месяц назад

I was diagnosed a month ago at age 57. I've been so sick all my life. I was asthmatic and had several severe bouts of pneumonia at age 7. I was in intensive care and missed 9 weeks of school in 2nd grade. At 19 the gut issues started and at 40 and 45 I had emergency surgeries on my large and small intestines. I nearly died both times. Doctors told me over and over my conditions were stress related. Reduce stress? Like that's possible!!! It takes me days to prepare just to go to the grocery store. 😂

@passaggioalivello Месяц назад

Level 2 autistic here, undiagnosed during childhood, and I can relate.

@suzannetunnicliffe2422 Месяц назад

You are an amazing woman. I've just started writing down my issues since I was 5. I'm now 61 and a long way to go it seems. You and the group are helping in that too.

@blackmber Месяц назад

I got cold sores and plantar warts frequently, and my mom was always commenting, “it’s because you’re so stressed”. I also had sleep problems, stomach aches, and persistently tense muscles. People would comment that my shoulders felt like rocks. It all makes sense now.

@Jewlz4ever Месяц назад

I’m also level 1 and have other invisible health issues such as Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, heart issues, and a few others.

@retsimskeeseem6866 7 дней назад

Thank you so much for this. Having suffered a TBI in an explosion that lead to accidental late diagnosis, I appreciate that someone is talking about this. Invisible injuries and conditions are a real pain in the ass.

@pkwork Месяц назад

There may be a gentic connection between autism, other neurodivegence, and auto-immune diseases. My whole family struggles with many of these, many multiple diagnosis, across multiple generations. Thank you for sharing. I had not really thought about all of the confusion younger me had, not understanding that everyone wasn't like me. It helped a lot, though, that most of my family got it, and taught me their own ways to cope. I also internalized a lot of normalization. smh

@janicemacmillan2610 Месяц назад

I had no idea what was normal. I was adopted, so i knew that the people that raised me were not like me. I just figured it was because I was adopted. I did not find anyone like me until I had my child. We were clones. We even sounded exactly the same. I am extremely smart, I just figured that all the autistic experiences I had was because of that. I experienced everything intensely. No one said anything about autism until all my grandkids were diagnosed with it. I wish someone had hit a proper diagnosis much before that, I did try to get help, but was gaslighted a lot, so that I avoided people altogether.Drs of all kinds are really difficult for me to deal with. I have multiple autoimmune disorders.

@doctorberkowitz 28 дней назад

I always attributed my differences from other people to being smart too. I had no idea I was autistic until my mid 40s. Everyone would describe me as quirky and I thought I was just smarter than they were!

@lyanimoody6554 Месяц назад

Yes Tay you always come through with the accurate information. Be well rest up and do something fun so your energy will be at its best. Truly appreciate the videos and your time. Peace and blessings 🙏🏼😊💛

@TheWilliamHoganExperience Месяц назад

Wow Taylor - just wow. It's like you're describing my childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. The axiety thing - OMG the anxiety! I now realze at age 59 that I got through my life pre-diagnosis on ADRENILINE. I appeared high functioning - so much so that I graduated cum-laude with an professional degreee in architecture in 1991 from Cal Poly Pomona - an insanely competitive state college program that 90% of my peers dropped out of. I now understand it was the monofocus thing: Not eatin, sleeping, or going to the bathroom was rewarded in architecture school. So was wearing black every day, not showering, and extreme social withdrawl to work on my drawings and models. It was hard, but it was structured and predictable. It all came crashing down when I had to make the transition from school to work. "The real world" was hell. Office politics and clients and contractors and crazy bosses in open offices made me crazy, and stared having "panic attacks" (internal meltdowns). What folllowed was a series of short-term (2 years at most) stints with several employers. I kept having difficuly with supervisors and/or co-workers until I landed at Walt Disney Imagineering in the mid 1990s. Disney was great. As autism freindly as it got back then. But I was still trapped inside of windowless buildings in biege "Matrix" style office cubicles under flourescent lights in front of low refresh rate flickering computer screeens strobing away at my migraine addled brain. In short, it was still hell - just not the deepest level. I had less anxiety, and fewer internal meltdowns, but they were always a threat. Then I let Disney and became an architecture professior. That was the worst career decision I ever made. I gambled that academia would be better a fit - and I lost, big time. By age 45 I was DONE. The stress and anxeity and resulting panic attacks and depression led to a prolonged shutdown I've never fully recovered from 15 years later. As I came to understand that I was autistic through self diagnosis, eveything began to make sense. Ultimately I sought and recieved a medical / psychatric diagnosis to confirm what I already knew. All I can say to anyone out there who suspects they might be autistic is to learn as much as you can about the condition and the various ways it impacts people like us. It can hide in plain sight. But we can survive on adrenaline and fear only so long before it all comes crashing down, and they higher we fly, the futher we fall. So give yourself grace ;-)

@doctorberkowitz 28 дней назад

This all sounds very familiar. So what do we do now? I also gambled on a move to academia at 40 and it was horrific. It's one big, stupid political game where no one cares about education at all. I quit and I don't leave my house now and I don't know what to do. I'm smart and well-educated and I feel like I'm wasting my brain, but the world just makes it impossible. I just can't help humanity anymore.

@thehomelesshebrews 7 дней назад

I'm an AuDHDer, and a lot of us don't like when someone says HIGH FUNCTIONING or LOW FUNCTIONING Autism. We know that it IS a Spectrum however. I am 52 and I have A LOT of stress/anxiety. I also believed this was "normal".

@IruTheday Месяц назад

I relate to this. I even had to wear a heart monitor because I fainted randomly for a while. They didn't find anything and said it was vasovegal syncopy.

@Askalott Месяц назад

I fainted all the time when I was a child. It usually happened if I experienced any pain, like my nervous system just couldn’t handle it so my brain just shut down. Maybe that speaks to sensory sensitivities.

@codename495 Месяц назад

I had and still combat teeth issues as well. My coping mechanism was to clench my jaw and grind my teeth. Couldn’t have outward motion because I’d get in trouble or smacked, so I would grind my teeth. It got bad enough that I had Botox in my masseter muscle to stop the clenching before I ground my teeth to dust. I still notice myself clenching to the heat of a song and have to consciously stop myself.

@BillieGote Месяц назад

Yes, same! The bruxism, deterioration of the TMJ, the thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours spent in the dentist chair over my lifetime, and yet I have no long-term solutions to address the root cause of uncontrollable night time bruxism. Meanwhile my crowns are falling apart and the edges of my tongue are frequently Warren raw and sore from repeated contact with Sharp tooth edges of molars

@actisami1960 Месяц назад

Depression and anxiety as long as I can remember, chronic fatigue from a young age, autoimmune disease in my 20s, breast cancer in my 30s... I can definitely relate...

@Autisticheather Месяц назад

Same same same same same!! Im posting this on my regular feed. I had to quit my job suddenly as a preschool teacher because I caught EVERYTHING that was going around. Except for lice... which I felt was next so I went home and didn't go back. I was sick for about 7 weeks or more. I also have stomach issues EVERY DAY

@saraparks5212 Месяц назад

I didn’t get sick a lot but I now have an autoimmune issue, severe adrenal fatigue and cPTSD.

@aubreyleonae4108 Месяц назад

Your experience sounds so much like mine. I'm 66 and just learning this with my therapist. I'm not sure I can remember a time I was not in therapy or looking for help. I've battled digestive issues since middle school, frequent ear and kidney infections also. I guess i made it look easy or s omething. People couldn't tell I was stressed out all the time. I fight CPTSD also. I always thought that was my whole problem but I'm learning the autism has played a major role. It seems hopeless to try to sort it all out. It's so exhausting. But things are getting better now that someone figured it out and we started dealing with that.

@larryk731 Месяц назад

As a person probably on the ASD spectrum (56 year old independent adult who never bothered with a diagnosis), outsiders never know what goes on behind the scenes. I've learned to tolerate large formal family functions (weddings, minerals, bar/bat mizvahs etc) but need a day or 2 with minimal human contact to recover.

@NiaLaLa_V Месяц назад

I feel like if I do not complain constantly the people around me forget that I am dealing with a bunch of disabilities. And that part is hard.

@fleetingmoment Месяц назад

Like a duck gliding gracefully on the water, below the surface its feet tell a different story. Once I got past my several-month-long post-diagnosis shock phase, I entered an equally long period of elation. I'm currently in a _just roll up your sleeves and try and get on with it_ phase. Despite the fact that I have gained great insight into who I am, getting through the day (somewhat convincingly) still requires a huge amount of effort and energy. Insight can only take me so far. Being (now) self-aware means that I deliberately limit how much I talk and interact with others, knowing that if I don't, I'll invariably find a way to ramble on about my special interest and, at some point, also end up committing some other kind of social faux pas. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder at work, making sure nobody is there, allowing myself a few seconds of stimming time. I dread lunchtimes and the associated fear of not getting to sit in my usual place. The maelstrom of emotions I felt when it has happened was terrible and long lasting. So much for being 'high functioning'.

@aroneurodiver Месяц назад

passing slightly as neurotypical drove me into burnout. I wasn't functioning! I was not okay. can we stop repeating that term even in " ". there is no high and there is no function and I am not a machine. the cat is cute :) my best guess is the invisible struggles are best understood by those in the same position, it is a weird in between position with its very unique challenges! I hope your body can be again the way it wants to be. nature is the key. thanks for your advocacy. all the best

@Kenghym Месяц назад

Watching this while at home, sick again and stressing out because once again I don't meet the mark I'd like to meet. Doesn't matter that I worked multiple 15 hour days in hyperfocus last week and continued on saturday, building up enough overtime to take a bunch of days off. But I will still get the 'you are always sick' comments from people who don't want to understand my weird brain. They assume I'm as inefficient as they are on my good days and wonder how my results at the end of the month can surpass expectations. So I keep stressing out, get sick with autoimmune stuff and feel my heart freaking out (and skipping beats) constantly. Fun times.

@tscott12345 Месяц назад

Id be interested very much in knowing more about the variety of autoimmune afflictions people with autism have, or that are connected in some way.

@simplesimonhadapie Месяц назад

I totally get you Taylor. I worked in the finance industry in contact centres and when I was diagnosed many people were surprised and people constantly said it must be good to not be that autistic. (I am level 1 myself) I struggled almost every single day to process and manage each day, pre work stress vomiting and shaking, days of dread so enormous I just couldn't manage and internally always being on the extreme edge with heart rate and fear. I suffer from fibromyalgia as well so the combination now because of my nervous system regulatory troubles mean I can't really move very well but it's not a struggle I can easily represent

@londonwolf69 7 дней назад

We need more people to explain their autistic experiences thbnk you for sharing miss

@CtDDtC1919 Месяц назад

I relate. I was always sick with strep throat, impetigo, and neurological issues, and if a cold or flu was going around, I would get it.

@njb1126 Месяц назад

I got step throat a lot too as a kid, I had a lot of ear infections as a child too.

@alansewell7810 Месяц назад

I figured it out when I was around 60, but, yes, it was rough until then. My parents were loony when I was growing up (alcoholism and childlike immaturity), so that didn't build a great foundation for coping with life, while being autistic to boot. You just have to work hard, giving your employers or customers your absolute best, giving your spouse and kids your best, being pleasant to get along with even in extremely provoking circumstances, and the other things wise and self-controlled people learn to do. Everybody has a weak area. Some are unattractive, some stutter, some grew up in poverty, some are chronically ill from birth, some are in wheelchairs or blind from birth. The winners of life look at those setbacks as things that make them stronger by overcoming them --- Stevie Wonder and other fantastic musicians who were born blind, for example. We have to do the same.

@letsrock1729 Месяц назад

Could it perhaps be that your parents were also autistic? Not to excuse them for anything, but it might explain some of their behaviours. There is a link between autism and alcohol addiction, as alcohol is a coping mechanism for those who can't cope with the world. Alcohol numbs reality and relaxes people, socially. Also worth mentioning that autistic people can often be seen to have 'childlike immaturity'. I've been able to forgive my father for a lot of his behaviour now that I realise he is also almost certainly autistic and was always struggling too.

@alansewell7810 Месяц назад

@@letsrock1729 That seems like what it was with my mother. I inherited characteristics of both, so we do have to be careful about being overly harsh with people whose behaviors seem bizarre. Much of human behavior --- good and bad --- is genetic in nature. I've learned in life not to despise people too soon, because what we dislike in others may be present in ourselves, only our egos blind us from seeing it.

@kaleemoore4639 7 дней назад

I genuinely want/need to know how I’m supposed to bring this up to my doctors. Like without them thinking I’m joking or dismissing what I’m saying.

@laurakruithof919 29 дней назад

I stopped going to school when I was 14, way too much stress. Got diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. At 18 I got diagnosed with autism. Chronic fatigue faded over time, still not able to work (I'm 28 now), but feeling much better since I am starting to understand myself. Thank you for your video!

@Cutty_Bronson 24 дня назад

I’m Gen-X and have PTSD and panic disorder. The panic disorder started from severe childhood trauma but didn’t manifest into my first full panic attack until I was 21 years old. The PTSD continued on after I joined the military and also had other traumatic experiences - both mentally and physically - and continues to this day. I turned to alcohol. It helped (short term) but I found it also exacerbated my symptoms. I’m different in the regard that when I’m in any kind of dangerous conflict or it’s time to panic for everyone else around me in a situation, I’m calm and collected and can navigate myself and others through it. But when I’m not in such situations is the times I’m most susceptible to panic attacks. It’s so backwards, but I’ve learned that that’s what comes when a brain is wired at an early age from trauma… it’s the fight or flight mechanism that sends a crazy rush of adrenaline to my system, and if I’m not in a situation that calls for me to act on an emergent ordeal, my brain messes with me by flooding my brain with that adrenaline response and I have no outlet, so I choose the “flight” mechanism because I have no other choice, other than to go full out and release it. It is truly hell; feels like I’m simultaneously drowning while having a heart attack. You know that it’s all in your head, but your subconscious mind finds new ways to trick you into thinking that this time it’s real; this time you’re actually dying. It even invades you in your sleep; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up and jumped out of the bed in terror, in fight mode, while also thinking I wasn’t breathing. I have - as I type this - a gash on my bottom lip I woke up with the other day from who knows what I was dreaming about. Apparently I bit through my bottom lip while sleeping, most assuredly from a nightmare (probably a flashback). I feel the mind blocks out a lot of the subconscious for self-preservation. I have very few memories from my childhood/adolescence, and even early adulthood. I am now weaning myself off of alcohol and, while it’s going to be rough, I think it can only help. If you’re reading this, stay strong. We’ve been through a lot, but even though it doesn’t feel this way, it has made us stronger. Keep pushing forward. We got this. I have only two true warriors in my corner, and that’s my wife and daughter. I strive to make their lives better with my presence in their lives, since I promised myself at an early age to be the opposite of my father, but it also pains me to know that they have to, as beautifully empathetic, loving people, deal with my affliction. It makes it harder on me, but also makes me strive to get as better as is in my capacity to get. I owe them that. If you have anyone in your corner willing to do the same, so do you. Again, don’t give up; don’t give in.

@roseanne1234 29 дней назад

My husband who passed away last year was undiagnosed autistic. He knew, but his parents are still in denial about it. I believe that the stress that he had to constantly deal with just on a day to day basis had a lot to do with his cancer. Thanks for your channel ❤

@beckybequette8212 Месяц назад

Diagnosed at 56, level 1. Not surprised, my son is level 2. Yeah, I don't "look" autistic whatever an NT means by that. But I work and mask SO HARD. I've had major depressive disorder since age 12. Wonder why. I always feel I have to be absolutely perfect. There are parts of my mask that will never peel off, but it's so freeing to feel comfortable hand stimming while I'm grocery shopping

@lulumoon6942 Месяц назад

👉You're speaking for SO many! I wasn't ABNORMAL, but everyday in every way life kept telling me I wasn't NORMAL, and my body kept the score! 🙏🕊️

@suzyh74 Месяц назад

I really identify with what you've shared. i was diagnosed 7 years ago in my mid-60's. Because I've reached the top of 2 professions, people don't think I struggle but they've got no idea how tough life is. I'm getting quite a few physical health issues now but don't share with others because I don't think they would understand how much anxiety they cause.

@newbeginnings5610 22 дня назад

I only just realized two weeks ago that I've been clenching my jaw for years. Just one stressful day in particular. It made me cry so hard.

@gunning6407 Месяц назад

Thanks for this. I've been thinking about your stimming video, and I'm realizing that my pervasive tooth grinding (invisible stim) is deeply intertwined with my experience of autism. This realization is helping me let go of some of the guilt and regret associated with poor health outcomes (like my current lack of tooth enamel!) and replace them with compassion as I develop better coping and self-care strategies.

@RowenJ420 Месяц назад

I am in the same boat in school they keep saying I had anxiety disorder and was drugged for it but i just had autism or Asperger’s as it was called in 2002.

@cattollefson3635 17 дней назад

Ditto to so much of this. I wasn't fortunate enough to see any counselors along the way but reading more has made my understanding of who I am easier. My mom was constantly manipulating me into her idea of "normal" because she constantly feared it would reflect on her. She made me feel so much less all the time but then would tell me it was because she loved me. Yeah, messed up. Now, I don't have any relationship with her and silence is peaceful. I honestly think all this information from other autistic people is my form of therapy and helps me understand things like my messy childhood and young adulthood. Thank you Taylor ❤❤❤❤

@mommabecky83 Месяц назад

This is literally my life too.

@ginamarie2349 10 дней назад

I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through. To relate a bit though, my son is high functioning. When people tell me that, they can’t tell or that I worry too much, I die a little inside. I’m not telling them for fun, it’s to protect how the world sees his unique behaviors or explain why I always want to talk to new teachers or he’s just now having a chance to play sports because he’s spent years in therapy that didn’t leave time for it. It’s that silent, unseen struggle of the high functioning group that emotional wears you all down. Big bless you to healing and peace beautiful lady.

@BunnyTheCat 24 дня назад

Thank you for this 🫂💜 just diagnosed at 26 recently and have had many of the same issues. I realized after working with the autistic community for a long time that wow I can help them so well because I’ve dealt with a lot of these issues too and can help from a place of understanding! It took 7ish yrs working with these folks to realize wow, am I one of these folks too??? Then recently my doc was like “have you ever heard of the autism spectrum or Asperger’s syndrome?” And from there I was diagnosed lmao my family has been like ???!!!! About it but I mean I’ve had these issues from childhood but just IGNORED them because I couldn’t express why I struggled with them so much. I felt like a failure growing up, but now realize I ended up in the right place. I have proper help/support now and can help others like me and even farther on the spectrum than me and take immense pride in doing the best I can to improve lives while slowly improving my own as well. Thank you again, your words are so helpful and I appreciate you so much for talking about what you do 💕

@TheSaneHatter 24 дня назад

When it comes to talking about intense, daily stress, even under normal conditions (or for that matter, even when things are going WELL), you’re preaching to the choir here: on any normal day (or worse, a downright productive day), I feel like my head is going to explode, almost 24/7.

@RuaLuithnire 5 дней назад

I never put these things together before, but this really resonates.

@carolynv8979 Месяц назад

Yes, I’ve always gotten sick a lot, and I always caught things “worse” than the people around me in my life. Strep almost every year, scarlet fever in college, I once tested positive for A B & C strains of influenza all at the same time (my doc said I was their office’s first confirmed triple threat that year) . I was stressed so constantly that I didn’t recognize the sensation in my body. I used to say it was a cruel bait & switch that my body looks like a tall sturdy milk-maid instead of the Wilting Victorian Flower 🥀 my immune system thinks I am.

@Sanshaino 8 дней назад

Whenever someone says "oh I could never have guessed" my first instinctual answer has always been "that's on purpose". I didn’t think about it the first time I said it, it was kind of an impulsive statement meant to redirect the conversation back to the topic at hand, and then I kept using it because. It's true.

@sake343 Месяц назад

I was diagnosed at 43 last year. I told a few people at work and it made me realize how few people (myself included before I got diagnosed) know about Autism. Lots of people think it causes people to be stupid/slow.

@jfdc8432 Месяц назад

Thank you. So helpful. I totally relate.

@InterDivergent Месяц назад

Spot on, great summary of the struggles we face.

@ladyphoenix_111 Месяц назад

I'm so sorry you go through this. I always felt crazy, and was told to stop being so sensitive as I was growing up. They mean well, but then it's an added layer of another thing you are ashamed and embarrassed about to focus on, and not know why you are doing it and how to stop. Thank you so much for sharing this type of content. I find it is encouraging. I have felt alone for years. I have ADHD. I have known for half of my life. And now at 49, I'm learning I might have autism as well, and it's so confusing. Thank you for sharing this personal aspect of yourself publicly. I can't tell you how helpful it is to me. It helps things to make sense. And less of blaming or internally bullying myself which never works. Thank you! 💕💕💕

@hedwigwendell-crumb91 Месяц назад

I was denied benefits in the uk because i am late diagnosed. The report said this person has dealt with autism for 40+ years and so the problem cant be that significant!

@xbluebae 7 дней назад

Ooo my 29yo ass is crying. Still on generic antidepressants 14 years later 😅

@greendruid33 Месяц назад

I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I have just recently received my ADHD diagnosis and I suspect I am AuDHD from the self-tests offered through Autism Canada. I was sick a lot as a child too and my anxiety over my stress in similar ways to what you described would manifest (and still does to an extent) as GI upset and complications. I also get bad headaches and migraines to this day that can ground me for days or significantly impact my functioning.

@angeladyson7367 27 дней назад

It's good to hear your experience. I was always getting sick with stomach bugs, colic or coughs and colds as a kid, I used to wet the bed and frequently had sleep problems and nightmares as a kid. I do still have some vivid dreams, and medication that helps me sleep. I await my assessment for autism.

@xbluebae 7 дней назад

"We recieve ill fitting diagnoses along the way" Don't forget us women being touted as 'emotional' or 'hormonal' 😅

@badmonkeyking Месяц назад

When I'm working with clients in Biomechanics, muscle dysfunction theory, both in nuro divergence in nerve or physical masking to PTSD, which Autistic people don't deal with PTSD. Over clenching teeth, not going into physical prealasis during sleep. Forgetting to brush teeth 😬 also my hair falls out from stress. (I'm AudHD lvl 1) beige careful to not out people or diagnose in my office outside my license only 7 years of person therapy and train being late diagnosed. But the body speaks. Nd Nurodivergent bodies on the table speak loudly and softly 21 years professional body worker

@GermanHerman123 28 дней назад

I can empathize with that so much. So many therapies all my life, basically from the age of 16 onwards.

25 дней назад

I consider a compliment when someone says that I don’t look autistic. I think you should consider it. It means that our efforts to function normally are working. I understood much more about me and specially about other people point of views when I discovered my autism, which is level 1 too.

@davidcooper7811 Месяц назад

Six members of my immediate family, we are all autistic. I get you, in so many ways. My kids might not have this insight yet but I do❤

@ry6184 25 дней назад

Love seeing this community of older people. So many beautiful people in this comment section, and the video! As a young person, this is incredible inspiring

@Onthe9thlife3730 Месяц назад

Man, wish finding out had improved my life. All it has done is made it very very clear that I don't have any way to exist in the word, I still don't have any accesses or supports and my family just expects me to ignore it and continue masking which I physically cannot do anymore.

@ToadalSimplicity 8 дней назад

I think part of what we all experience as late-diagnosed folks is related to not being truly seen at every stage of our life pre-diagnosis. Childhood emotional neglect doesn’t have to be intentional. The “why” doesn’t matter and it’s not our job to make other people in our lives feel more comfortable about their own lack of support or understanding. Educating others is valuable and important, but we also need to truly accept that our experience is valid and that our needs aren’t delusional. You don’t need to convince anyone else that you’re not lying, being melodramatic, being manipulative, etc. If they someone consistently chooses to interpret our thoughts and needs in uncharitable ways, then that is a person worth cutting out of your life. It’s obviously not cut-and-dry or simple, and I truly feel for those that are in situations that prevent them from breaking free of that type of neglect/abuse.

@theresetravis6124 Месяц назад

My previous comment saying your last line hit a nerve, meant in a good way…astounding, deep to my core kind of way. You’ve given me a lot to think about.