Hoarders: 31-Year-Marriage Torn Apart By Hoarding | A&E 

These hoarders have mental disorder .Maybe some of them r just too lazy to do anything.,....

This just Hits A whole Family

she gonna go alone with a uber something

They probably will be, if not worse; Hoarders are rarely cured and keep hoarding for the rest of their lives.

I love when they do update episodes so much

most of these people need to be in assisted living with strict rules. a lot of them cannot be helped/fixed.

Some have

Over 90% return to their hoarding filthy ways. And blame. They always blame. I’ve seen it. Not to this extent but bad. They destroy every place they go to.

and the ' pretend ' curtains don't keep a single kilojoule of heat in .... it's time the world WOKE UP to PROPER WINDOW COVERINGS ..... that can GUARANTEE .....minimum 40% heat retention ... when used correctly

And wants Wallace to act normal while living among this chaos

my opinion is she stopped cleaning because she got done cleaning after the big child, and that’s how the clutter originally began to form

@@galissss4890 Yes, this seems likely. She's fed-up being the unpaid maid, and thought "surely if I stop cleaning up after the oversized toddler he'll clean up after himself eventually..." What she failed to take into account is that male laziness and male entitlement are bottomless chasms, and if they think they are owed something from a woman, neither heaven nor earth will make them provide for themselves. I hope she leaves him.

@@galissss4890 Yes, it was her form of control. I'm sick of doing it on my own, so I'm not doing anything.....

Lol! 🤣😭

I would be 🤬

i mean i think it makes sense. everyone is going to have their own feelings. sadness bc of how theyre living and they want better for their family, but mad because they may think they did it to themselves even tho its a mental illness, and mad and frustration out of trying to understand how someone allows themselves to live that way. honestly i would feel both!

I think if they’re emotionally intelligent they’ll be sad.

If you didn’t know that’s how they lived you’d be sad. If you’re one of those people that gets yelled and screamed at by the hoarder because you’re always telling them they have to change their ways and they’re in denial then you’re probably super angry that it was allowed to get that bad.

Either way the true feelings comes out.

Not being judgmental but he does look over weight so probably eats a lot in order to cope maybe with all the clutter and stress. Making messes and not cleaning behind him and she gets mad at that. But she causes the main issue.

It’s never about the plate. It’s never about the stuff.

😂 Well, might as well play devil's advocate then: The plate was the last straw! 😜

10:43 he does have teeth tho

Sometimes men get the wrong idea about women. They are not 24/7 house maids. Give and take on both sides. Has Wallace been able to just pick up after himself?

Just come across this vid now and immediately spotted the problem: Wallace. His poor wife was so worn out and frightened trying to cope with his laziness, she used buying as a displacement activity and the items to build a shell for herself. The confrontation over the dirty plates was so telling.

Get real. Yep, he maybe lazy but she’s the one who made it into a pigsty. If they just showed a dirty house, I’d blame 50/50… but the hoarding wasn’t Wallace. She’s just playing the poor victim

My heart goes out to the Husband, He is a Saint to have stuck around so long.

I’m hoping they left some key things out because the way it’s edited doesn’t make sense. Comes off as he’s being held responsible for her habits.

Man bad, women good. Typical new age stuff.

I think the hoarding is about getting a reaction from her husband. Not to cause a fight, but almost a cry for help. And he doesn't react the way she needs. They live separately instead.

@@7MissedVATSinARow grow up man you gotta look at yourself first before you cry like this😭 now what in the world is that pfp

This is a condensed version of this episode. The full version covers this problem more. I am a literal OCD cleaner, partially due to my Asperger’s need for a peaceful and orderly environment. I married a slob. A good man, but a slob whose inability to see and remedy messes has caused me enormous stress and years of feeling helpless in my own home. I can relate to this woman. Imagine the petty level of gaslighting when they were talking about the napkin in the sink. Her husband said, “You’re spending a half an hour asking me about one paper napkin.” Which means he stood there for x amount of time justifying his actions rather than cleaning up after himself and/or acknowledging it frustrated his wife, all while blaming the mystery crew person, and the therapist, and the pipes... It’s like living with a toddler, except toddlers learn and grow out of self absorption.

Some people eat restaurant food. Some people hit the dollar store and clearance sales. I don’t think it’s that hard to fill your house with stuff over 20 years without spending a ton of cash over that time period.

@@violetgypsie Good point.

I have a friend that used to hit the yard sales every Sat, 7 am. Her house just has little pathways. The problem is, she can fill up her house pretty quickly and cheaply. Also yard sales are condusive to random/impulse buying for things you may/may not need in the future. If you are buying at a store, it's usually for something specifically that you need.

They don't buy soap, detergent, cleaning and grooming stuff. They don't bathe or clean. That adds up 😂

@@peggypeggy4137 Good point!!

No, the man must find peace. He needs his own place, away from that crazy woman.

She clearly said that she couldn't go on living with him. He should run!

What does it even matter?

​@@FiftyfourhundredWattNot much, but it's nice to give to people who actually DO need it, dumba$$.

But what are they going to do about the heat, water and air conditioning? I feel so down when elderly people live like this. And it’s happening everywhere.

I just said that too. I th all looked so clean and the pretty colors made it look nicer than all others.

It’s on its way

@@michaeljordan9879 those services can be repaired now that the hoard is cleared. Repairmen couldn't access the plumbing/mechanics b4.

@@loriannrichardson7644 of course they can be repaired. The question is where will the money come from. I hope the best for them .

This happens all the time.

If they dont go the therapy this will happen. They need mental help, not just physical help.

Smh very sad what a waste of time and resiurces

Very true they absolutely need mental help

Not necessarily so. I helped clean up an old man’s house when it got in near hoarder state. He was so proud of how it looked it really changed his life. A clean house lifted his self-esteem. He started being more social. the therapy he needed was what we all need -- human contact. Now he doesn’t let his house get cluttered. He has a lady friend now and he doesn’t want to scare her away.

I pretend I am on a sinking ship and I have to jettison things to stay afloat. I also take 3 things to the charity stores for each thing I bring in. Plus watching Hoarders. Just remember objects have power, when you get rid of them they have no power over you.

Excellent Horacio you can do it. I know it's so overwhelming though. You are right just start now and do baby steps. If you can, a good idea is to take stuff outside, sit in a chair and have some boxes and start throwing. I know it's hard in Winter so you will have to do it inside then. Just know that every little bit helps and try to fill a box every now and then to toss away. Getting outside away from the chaos helps of course if it's possible and sorting out there. Blessings.

@@saran.4001 objects have no power unless u give it to them

That is true, and that is what these people are doing. That is why they cannot get rid of them. The object triggers an emotional response that is usually not a good one, and adds to their depression. These people are trapped in their memories and unfortunate attachments.

When you get motivated too purge do small areas. And let things go. Don't try too do all in one day!! And seek counseling. With out therapy, and support you'll not deal with the issues behind the keeping of things. Things do not make you who you are. Good luck.

That's how they are.

It's not that easy.

My home is much like this one. My wife has rooms full of stuff, all of it mixed with everything else, making it impossible to just pick up a box and toss it into the trash. I would ask my wife to start going through her stuff and taking what she doesn't need to the Thrift Store, or the Trash. She never did. Instead, she just added more. My wife too complains about a bit of Bread crust I left in front of the toaster, while the rest of the home is stacked full. I would think, your complaining about a small bit of toast? I just brought up this subject with her earlier today and she told me she hasn't had time to go through her stuff. Sadly, I see no positive end to this situation. Busting up is where I think this is all going, and for such stupid reasons too. And yet, the stacks of stuff is very real, and is only getting worse as time goes on. Crazy!

It doesn't appear overnight.

exactly. gotta love how joyce completely turns the situation around on him and then has the audacity to act like she doesn't know if SHE can stay with HIM. like sorry, what? you're the one who created this horde over time which slowly began to destroy your home and marriage, but your husband still stuck around and dealt with it, but now all of a sudden you're not sure that you can stay with him....?

she was embarrassed. instead of taking responsibility for themselves they make their partner look like the problem. lots of the hoarder on this show (for some reason mostly women) try to put the blame on someone else because they cant accept the fact that they have a serious medical issue.

I think it was more about what he expected his wife to do than just a dirty plate in the sink.

@Paul O'Sullivan. They do touch base with him in the full episode. Those segments are left out in this condensed version of the original episode. I think the concern was the husband was using his wife's hoarding problem to shield his own slobbish behaviour and thus contributing to the problem without taking ownership of it. In the full version he kept excusing his mess because his wife's mess was bigger. Sort of like "why are you taking notice of my mole-hill while you're supposed to be looking at the mountain". But I personally think it was him mentally checking out and I have pity for him. Often times people give the main consideration to the hoarder and gloss over how the chaos can mentally damage other family members who have to live with the mess too. But that's just how it is when there's a time constraint. People prioritise the main issue and hope all the other issues solve themselves once the crux has been dealt with. The husband resents the wife for the hoarding and thinks what's one more crumpled used napkin on top of the hoard? While the wife in turn resents him for not acknowledging his contribution to the mess even if the bulk of the blame is on her. I can understand the source of frustration on both sides, but I think the husband was a bit hard done by even if his issue had to be addressed too.

@@opheliamaples i totally agree. Wish i can see the full ep

There are layers to it though. I'm a hoarder (mostly in recovery now but there have been ups and downs over the years) and my partners that I've lived with TRIED to deal with it and I wouldn't let them. It would cause me panic if they tried to throw away my things. I wanted to respect their desire for a clean house, but hoarding comes with anxiety and control disorders, so I had to do it all myself. When it starts out, you just say "Oh, I'll move these boxes somewhere else out of the way so they don't bother you." but as the piles take over, you run out of places to put them. My bedroom was the worst, because that was my way of getting stuff out of common areas. I still shared the bedroom with my partner, but I let it fill to the brim because I justified "Well, that room is my space, and if you don't want it in the living room, it has to go somewhere." So sometimes the other person is an enabler, sometimes the other person is just not equipped to handle the mental health issues that cause this.

@@Arionlappy 🙏🏿 it is a NEVERENDING FIGHT to keep our place clean😤

@@thiabrabson2533 I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Is your partner willing to get therapy or address the situation?

@@ArionlappyYOUR space!? Wow, not “Our Space”, “My Space”; Yeah, why not go, “MY Space, MY Room, MY House, home or whatever” Cause that’s where this is headed if that hoard mentality persist…

@@carlsail644 as I explained, it'd a control disorder. Which includes being possessive about your things and your spaces. So yes, the "my space, my things" is part of it. And we were not married and that partner did break up with me many years ago. The hoarding wasn't the only reason of course but I am very aware what the state if the house did to mental health, so it was definitely part of it. I moved from that house a few years after the breakup and got rid of a lot. My current space isn't nearly as hoarded, but it's still a journey to conquer the mindsets that cause it. And not that I blame my ex partner for being a hoarder, but living with my partners has seemed to exacerbate my problem. Some kind of stress-control thing. So currently I don't live with my partner and I think that works for so I can manage my own selfish issues.

What a weirdo comment. It's a mental illness brought on by trauma. I HOPE they are taking "pharmaceuticals" because that is often the path back to good mental health, that and CBT therapy.

Shepherd's Chapel Network !!!!!!! Pastor Murray is an Anointed Servant of GOD who teaches the Word of GOD with Authority!!!!!!!

good 🙄grief

The common thread in most hoarders is emotional trauma. They’ve suffered a loss. it’s depression, deep anxiety coupled with OCD. I have a cousin who is a hoarder. They imagine a bleak future where they have nothing and no one. And all this junk is how they brace themselves to have something in the dark days ahead.

They are as bad as each other. If I lived in that garbage dump I would give up too.

Someone gave context from the full episode elsewhere: the crew noticed Wallace wasn’t helping and wouldn’t lift a finger, and that discussion about the dish was the culmination of that. Notice how he immediately jumped to justifying why he couldn’t put his napkin in the bin, instead of just doing it? That’ll be what his wife has put up with for who knows how long, and likely she gave up on picking up after him like a maid. The hoarding definitely came after his laziness, likely as a control/coping mechanism (and i’d say a way to get out of the house). Apparently he also used abusive language towards her, and she admitted she was fearful of him.

But not having heat in the home because they can't get to it kinda puts it over the top.

Marriage is a co-dependent relationship.

Senseless

Yes. I agree. I think if she was to leave him now, she would hoard where ever she lives twice as fast as she did this house. Its how she copes with life. So she needs to find new ways of coping, well before making a life changing decision or she will simply do what she has been doing, just twice as much.

i smiled 😊

a huge part of their view on reality is cleaning their house

Agreed

What was your favourite part of this video that you commented on tho 🤔🤷‍♂️??

Quit begging for likes you beg friend. I don't know you

You couldn’t give a flying f**k if any of that happens! You’re just here trying to get likes it’s not sincere 🤷‍♀️

Happiness is overrated... you grow when you step out of the comfort zone

🙏♥️🙏

😂

😂

…perhaps in the longer version, those issues were discussed.

What if that space heater burns the house down? I guess that's one way to solve the problem! (LOL)

yea there wasnt a new episode on yesterday

It always says for instance uploaded 6 days ago or suchlike and the videos are 5 years or 10 years old.

@@earnold1896 well yea cause youtube puts the date its uploaded not the date its first aired lmao

must be a tremendous ego trip to judge fellow humans...

If you live with a hoarder, their thinking: I must buy knick knacks and paddy wacks. Shop and drop, shop and drop! I must never throw anything away. I might need it.

👁👄👁💦

Their offical website... If its available in ur country Not available in my country 😢 Links in description

@@sindhuchimnani3168 use a vpn

does it snow every winter? `how long does the snow stay on the ground?

uh ya it's a mental illness