Thank you so much my love ❤ It was such a blessing to create this video together 🌟🌟🌟 We had an amazing conversation and I pray it helps so many people!!
Melanie explains it so well. While I am not a hoarder, I was raised by my grandparents who were, including hoarding animals. She has helped me to understand them and to have compassion. Thank you Melanie! And thank you Robyn! Love both of your channels!
This was fantastic. Melanie explained her disorder so well as to why and how she relates to each piece of clutter. I had no idea of the psychological meaning behind hoarding. It's too easy for people without the disorder to judge the ones who do have it. I don't have that disorder, but I had been overweight most of my life. When she said hoarders don't seek help because they're deeply embarrassed and seeking help opens them up to negative reactions, it completely resonated with me. We already feel horrible about ourselves, yet people feel free to judge, ridicule and shame us, not understanding there are emotional issues, not logical issues. Every overweight person knows exactly how to lose weight, but it's what the food (or in Melanie's case the clutter) represents emotionally to us. Thank you so much for having her on to explain the why's and the need for compassion.
This is so interesting. Thank you both for doing this interview. As a child of two hoarders, with multiple friends and relatives who hoard, I couldn't understand why they hoard at the level they do. Too much stuff stresses me out. Interesting to learn that one reason hoarders keep stuff is because they find it soothing.
"We're resourceful, but there's no boundary to that resourcefulness" this comment reframed SO MUCH about my life, omg! Thank you for this interview, this was wonderful.
This resonated: "I didn't know I could get rid of things". That was me. I know now after the topic blew up on the internet. There's so much wisdom from *all of you* who teach on this subject. It took me about 5 years of peeling back the emotional attachments; getting rid of the easiest items first. I just wish I would have been able to get a grip when my now adult children were young.
I love Melanie. She is a sweet heart. I come from a long line if pack rats and I myself have ADHD. And decisions can be hard for me. She uses methods that work well for that. Sweeping through in waves and letting go of stuff that is easy. There is plenty of easy stuff that I can let go of. And just doing that can get you in better head spaces. And also helps let you know what is there. We forget. And stuff does loose meaning and some things get stronger meaning. It definitely shifts over time. I like that she skipped certain categories in the beginning knowing it was harder for her. And even doing that she still was able to let go of some of that stuff along the way. I also like that she is making categories for stuff. Lots of cluttered homes are jumbled messes. Hard to declutter in categories when everything is spread all over. So she could do categories better after her initial sweeps of the house.
Great video. This describes my mindset. I've watched videos by psychologists who tried to describe the reasons behind hoarding and wow! They do NOT get it. At all. Completely wrong. I can't imagine what it must be like to seek help from a psychologist who "knows" what's behind the hoarding but is 100% wrong.
I love both of your channels and this is a delightful interview. I totally agree that the medical profession needs to reclassify hoarding disorder. The way Melanie suggests they do so is really spot-on.
Wonderful interview; maybe your best, yet! Insightful is a perfect description. She explained her journey so well, I could almost feel her story. Grateful to have seen this ❤
I discovered Melanie's channel last year after watching her talk at Organised HQ and it immediately resonated with me. I also struggle to let go because I have an emotional attachment with my stuff. Her channel is helping me change my mindset.
Two of my favorite RU-vid ladies! Great chat, guys. Melanie has helped me understand so much with not just hoarding, but also with just your run of the mill packrats that I have helped with decluttering.
👀 Eye opening. I’ve never understood people who save stuff. I will collect things because I don’t have time to decide what I want to do. Now that I’m retired, I’ve been working slowly to clean out the stuff & give it a new home.
I am awed by Melanie, I know how hard it was for me to tell the truth (I don’t let people in my house because it is out of control), rather than make another excuse. By the scale Melanie gave, my house would probably qualify as a level 1or 2 hoard. I can let things go, but for along time I acquired faster than I let go and I was ok with that till I reached a tipping point. I definitely have a scarcity mind set and everything has potential. It was last summer on the occasion of a reunion that I declined to host a subset of the reunion. Another reunion is scheduled for next summer, we’ll see where I and my house are next year.
Oh my goodness, I finally get to hear your story! I used to watch Hoarders Heart, as I also have tendencies. Eventually the algorithm led me to Minimal mom and Cas from clutterbug andI hung out there for a long time now. She explains so much of the mentality!! Its so me! Almost all of it, except i had lots of siblings so i wasn't as lonely, but i still turned my stuffies into living beings. Almost everything i got was free or dirt cheap, for the same reasons.
What she says about feeling alone in a minimalist room resonates so strongly! It feels sterile, cold almost sinister. My childhood home was pretty bare - we moved house a lot and there wasn’t a huge amount of money for "stuff" - and I think hanging onto all my belongings is a reaction against that.
I love this collab! I remember years ago watching some of Melanie's videos when she was still remaining anonymous and not showing her face, and I'm so happy to see that she is so open about it now! (Also I'm part Chilean and I love that she has a painting from a Chilean aunt that brings her joy ♥).
I go back and forth between feeling like a minimalist...or a level 1-2 hoarder. 😬 Really appreciate this! I feel like I need to make a lot more progress because I'm afraid hoarding is in my genes (almost every known ancestor was a hoarder--like level 2-4), and I know that might could be triggered by a major personal loss/tragedy. 😟
I simply love your channel. You approach this subject which so much understanding and kindness. I'm one of those ashamed by the state of my home. I keep losing important things in the mess. When I put on your video, your kind and understanding approach motivates me to clean. So now I spent 35 minutes cleaning and decluttering while listening to this episode
My sister IS a hoarder. She assesses every item as either an emotional or monetary value. She also holds a mental tally sheet with things that she has given to others. If that person doesn’t value that item with her value they are chastised. I leave her be for the most part. On occasion I go over and go through her mail. She has piles of it. She doesn’t know what’s important and what isn’t. You can not reason with her.
Wow, you pretty much described my sister. Her stuff was so important to her. Another thing she liked to do was buy things for others that they didn’t want or need. Now I’m married to a hoarder & we argue about his stuff all the time. I can’t have family or friends over, there’s no place for them to even sit down comfortably. I’m at my wits end. Also, I’m so angry at myself for being so weak.
@@joevahargitt1556 don’t be angry. I know easy to say when you’re drowning in someone else’s stuff but it gets nowhere quick. It may be his reason for hoarding is to put people off, if that’s the case he’s been successful. Leave him home and go visit. He is only going to change if he decides to.
Watch Dana K. White on "A Slob Comes Clean." I used her process on my mom when we had to clean out her horded house. Her process works no matter how much time there is to declutter and it doesn't make an overwhelming mess by pulling everything out. Go non-emotional/non-monetary/non-judgmental, first. Just have THEM look for garbage (your garbage isn't their garbage) with a time limit. Spend 5 minutes each room, in a visible location, throwing away garbage and doing nothing else. The piles get smaller and they realize they aren't as overwhelmed. If they start to get overwhelmed or talking about organizing, just remind them "we are only looking for garbage for only 5 minutes." It does make a difference. Second step is put away stuff that is procrastination clutter, things that have a home, they just need to go there. Again it is non-emotional/non-monetary/non-judgmental, just put it away. Don't make piles for each room as this creates more clutter, just put away. If there isn't room there, look for garbage or something there that needs to put away somewhere else to "make room." There are 3 more steps, but it does work in any room, any level of energy, and any time limit.
Sorry for the fact is that some or most hoarding is about TRAUMA. I personally have gone tru a Divorce and my Identity stolen. When I separated from him, I looked for work everywhere. In the process, someone had easy access to my documents,(ID, Social Security, and other stuff). That ruined my credit. I had to live very limited for many years. I have been very blessed many ways, but I struggle with huge piles of paper clutter. Anything thing with my loves ones' name on it or mine, I struggle to trowing away. Items that I have aquire, I struggle like crazy. Recently, I had to produce 10 years of different types of documents, having some many paper was emenzly helpful. My Now Husband and I were very thankful for my clutter. Yet, I have definitely decided that I have a better idea of what I want to continue to hold onto. I also want to either burn or pay to have the other shredded. I have been letting go from around 5 to 15 pieces of clothes weekly. I do more when I have more time, leaving it in my vehicle. When a month goes by I didn't need anything of those things, they get donated or to the trashed❣️❣️❣️ I also have learned by my research that I probably have ADHA or Autism. I will be seeing a specialist someday soon. My doctor didn't hesitate to request approval. He has been my Doctor for more than ten years.
Oh Melanie you have no idea what it was like listening to someone, who thinks like I do as far as our belongings. I’ve been in my decluttering journey for over the last 6 yrs, I would declutter then refill my home, oh the joy of being a hoarder. I did try konmari and the problem was 99% of my belongings sparked joy, I did try it and struggled letting go. I found the minimal mom and l started to learn but still wasn’t there. I also watched Clutterbug, Robyn, Diana, you and a few others. So over the last 6 yrs I’ve learnt so so much and are still learning. This yr my step Son said he was coming over late September and that spurred in into action. I’ve decluttered so so much and my home looks like someone cares and not on the tv show hoarders buried alive. I will always struggle with hoarding but I definitely look differently at things I want to buy because I really don’t want to go back to a cluttered home.
I too feel anxious when I am in a more minimal space, empty shelves and cleared off counters make me uncomfortable (lonely and sterile are good descriptions). I would mot be considered a hoarder but I do have clutter!
I loved this interview!!! The only thing I felt was missing is that I believe Melanie also worked with a therapist to help her with the emotional side. Maybe it was mentioned and I missed it but I think that's important to know.
Hn, this video made me think about those things my late dad saved from the landfill - sometimes quite literally - and that I am still curating. Don't get me wrong, it was stuff people would call antique today. Stuff from the 19th and early 20th century. The whole thing is getting generational. 😂 PS: I'm in the progress of decluttering my stuff though. This old stuff is slowly leaving my home.
Yes! This is so common. One thing to ask yourself with items that seem sentimental is if the memories that they hold are yours or someone else’s. Check out my video on Seedish Death Cleaning and that might help you let go of most of these items! 🙏🏼❤️
