Holiday in Afghanistan: Idiots Go Abroad 

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"The general concensus was that Kabul wouldn't fall that quickly" The consensus of politicians maybe, but people who actually served there were largely unsurprised.

Lord Simon "Legend" Whistler. Sounds great.

Simon: 'That fellow student needs to stop dumping on this guy' Also Simon: Makes whole video dumping on this guy

Simon's into of "as always I'm your host" is becoming more and more literal

I remember reading about a guy who decided to go to Iraq or Afghanistan after things went nuts to quote "see what the situation was like" instead of going home to see his mother for the holidays. Got decapitated. Mission accomplished?

Medicine in America isn't ALWAYS expensive. As a cancer survivor, the medicine I take every day to keep me alive only costs about $1.76 a day. It costs about $0.02 to make, but how could pharmaceutical companies survive if they didn't make a 880% profit off a drug first synthesized in 1914?

Afghanistan withdrawal makes me feel like everything we experienced and attempted to accomplish was completely moot and irrelevant.

Re: Katie Hopkins - By "lower class names", she meant "culturally Black names". She meant Black people.

Keeps: a hair loss solution Me: imagines Keeps sends you a box to keep your lost hair. I may have been listening to Simon for too long. Nah, that's not possible.

Simon: "I've told this story before, haven't I?" Also Simon: launches into story. Sam: helpfully hits the FF> button. Thanks Sam 👍

We've had teachers taking classes of children down to the beach to 'watch the tsunami' when we've has tsunami warnings in New Zealand. So often the govt had to tell them to stop.

Keep in mind that there were a lot of tourists to Afghanistan before the Saur Revolution of 1978 started all the carnage. I’ve known a lot of people who went there in the old days and every one loved it. That doesn’t make people like Miles any less of an idiot, of course.

People like Katie show us just how blurred the line between contrarianism and being a troll has become…not that contrarianism is a virtue, on its own.

I remember rimmy’s video on the guy who went to Afganistán, I highly recommend going and watching that video. He bought a lord title, he exposed the name of an Afghan government translator, Rimmy used contacts he had through playing arma to scrub that from the Internet, surprisingly successfully. P.S. Miles accidentally exposed the U.N safe house he was in.

No actually Danny was right to write it that way, it was pretty obvious stuff was going to hit the fan once military personal has left the chat. I mean it is the literal Taliban, how did people (in charge as well as general public) expect this to roll out otherwise?!

You know you've gone wrong when an ex-penal colony deports you back

Jack Monroe wasn't even earning a great deal of money when it happened, they were a struggling single parent writing cook books for those on a budget. Jack also gives out copies of their books to food banks and is generally a great person

Thank you Sam for fast forwarding through Simon's story about filling out forms.

Imagine seeing the vacation photos as a student from that Costa Rica trip.

On behalf of us Aussie’s we’re sorry for sending Katie back to the UK she would of made great drop bear bait

25:19 If Simon knew who Barnaby Joyce is, he'd designate him as an "absolute bellend" (because Barnaby Joyce has a lot of scandals, not because of the lockdowns).

Simon doesn’t get that “lower class names like Charmaine and Chantelle” is code for black people, allegedly.

Simon, we have credit scores in the UK too... and if you put the wrong details on banks, it's definitely fraud 😅

Come on Sam! Why did you have to fast forward the part that Simon tells the student ID story? I wanted to hear it for the 27th time.

I live in Australia and while Ill admit the border laws are strict, its not like there was no warning they were closing. Those people overseas who got stuck, its not like they had no idea it was going to happen. The government had been saying for weeks "We are going to do this, come back home folks and if you are planning to leave, don't. People overseas, if you want to come back, come back home now. Okay its been like a month now" *Door closes* Suddenly, people overseas "WHY WERE WE GIVEN NO WARNING???". Wait, what? What the fuck? What the ever loving mother fucking fuck? The pandemic was getting heavy, you were told, why the heck didn't you come home. There comes a point in things were people have to take responsibility for their own actions. By the time borders were closed you had had plenty of warning it was happening. Its not like it was like the government set a stop watch at three seconds and went "Three, two, one, sorry you're fucked". The problem with this issue is letting a pustulent infection like Katie Hopkins in when our own citizens couldn't get in. I mean if I was an Aussie still stuck overseas Id be like "Oh damn, maybe I should get a swastika tattoo and start posting hateful shit against non-whites online, maybe then I can get back home". Seriously Aussie government, what fucking message are you sending to the world. "Racists welcome! Everyone else can fuck off!"? We are like a dollar store South Africa. Edit: 20K was too much for Katie. The UK should have paid us to take her. I am not even sure why we deported her when we have so many sharks just offshore :P

I think this might be Simon’s most unhinged channel

20,000 Australian Dollar equals 10,690.30 Pound sterling - it’s even worse!

There’s a reason why we Lincolnshire folk refer to it as “Skegvagas”. It’s the most exotic part of the shire.

An F-list celebrity perhaps, but A-list in our hearts ♥️

Ah yes Skegness the most dangerous holiday location.

I have a suggestion for a future BB episode that SIMON WILL LOVE! "CEOs and heads of state who chose to rely on astrology/voodoo/fortune cookies/etc." (For example, the President of Haiti in 1963 claimed he had caused the assassination of JFK using the power of voodoo! (Allegedly.))

Simon, keep these nutty rants up. they're helping me stay sane.

Miles Routledge probably was inspired by Rory Stewart, who at the age of 30 (2002) took a break from the British Foreign Service to hike across Afghanistan and then was made assistant governor of a province in Iraq, despite having little relevant experience. Rory Stewart's book, "The Prince of the Marshes," describes the descent into chaos of his province during his tenure. Upon his return to the UK, Stewart entered politics and was elected to parliament and served in the cabinet. He is now a fellow at Yale University. His books are worth a read.

I wonder how many Americans gonna scratch their heads to Simons "I don't have a credit card" 😁

I was rather confused for a minute when it appeared Simon knew who Barnaby Bell-end Joyce was, given that the beetroot faced Barnaby is one of the must lacklustre politicians is Australia.

That miles dude is funny until you remember he took an evacuation flight space from an afghani who worked with the west, who has now probably been executed.

Holy shit! Not three minutes in and Sam is ON IT!!!! Lmfao!!! He deserves an hour of freedom from the basement!!!

If Instagram was around in September 1939 you just know people would be making a beeline for Poland to take some selfies.

I am a teacher. My first excursion, in 1983, we took the kids to a sugar cane farm. The the local sugar mill. The final stop was the Beenleigh Rum Distillery. While the kids went on a tour of the Distillery the teachers were left in the tasting room. Enough said.

are you background lights burnt out or is that just part of your AMAZING lighting skills?

Simon with the best ad reads in the biz. Didn't disappoint.

Count Dankula live-streamed with this kid Miles.

My neighbor and his wife went to Lebanon in there 20's and were part of a group who were legitimately kidnapped and held hostage.

25:23 - I think you're confusing Australia with the UK bruv... 😂

You can buy a lord or ladyship online (even a foreigner) for not much money. One of these major services is even running a black friday sale on titles right now. It's not that they're fake, it's that they're meaningless.

Simon: How about we don't do that? I don't care if you like tories or labor; how about we don't spray that across war memorials Me, who probably has more than a few fundamental disagreements with Simon: Yeah, I can support that. Let's not do shit like that.

I didn’t recognize Katie Hopkins either until you mentioned the names and that moment I was like “oh it’s the name bitch!”

I watched an interview with Myles. He was doing humanitarian work and got stuck. He was making his, but was terrified.

I always watch videos on x2 speed except a few channels. I always forget to switch back to normal so Simon isn’t a chipmunk.😳

I was so happy to hear that Jack really did take Katie Hopkins to court! Legend

Brain blaze the best thing to watch while taking a poop

Never has the song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again as a piece of Australian culture been the greatest in reference to Katie Hopkins

I love the description. "Getting completely wankered". XD

When you trip over edgy and falls straight to total idiot.

Excuse me, Sir ! Could you point me in the direction of Skedness ? Words can't even begin to describe the gllories !

Mrs Richards: "I paid for a room with a view !" Basil: (pointing to the lovely view) "That is Torquay, Madam ." Mrs Richards: "It's not good enough!" Basil: "May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically past?..." Mrs Richards: "Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea!" Basil: "You can see the sea, it's over there between the land and the sky. " Mrs Richards: "I'm not satisfied. But I shall stay. But I expect a reduction." Basil: "Why?! Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment ?"

11:20 The U.N. has better things to to spend political capital on in Afghanistan than protect egomaniacal American tourists.

Reminds me that the local media brought several stories about unfortunate German citizens who got stuck in Afghanistan and are now fearing for their lives and don't know how to get out of the country... people who went there on holiday to visit their families, during the pandemic, right when everyone was pulling their armies out of Afghanistan. Seriously, if you're making decisions THAT stupid, why do other people have to solve the almost inevitable problems that ensue? That's a bit like building a nuclear power plant on a tsunami-ridden coast in one of the regions most prone to earthquakes on the entire planet... oh wait, that happened... Honestly, that guy seems A LOT more reasonable than those people. Or, well, maybe not "reasonable" but... more like "crazy" rather than just plain stupid.

There is a story about the guy who went to fight with the YPG for spring break

I call the bald picard style a Skullet

Myles Routledge was a complete bellend and does not deserve any respect. If memory serves, *_he revealed the personal details of his interpreter/guide in interviews amidst the evacuation_* ; during a period where everyone was highly concerned and suspected that the Taliban would and were making reprisal attacks on people who had collaborated with and worked for Western countries. In other words, he revealed to the world (and the Taliban) the identity of the guy helping him get out of the country, as well as how to find said guy. It took a bunch of third party people who spotted this to quickly intervene and scrub those details off the internet; which was made trickier since the articles posting those details had already been archived in a number of places. Also, by putting "lord" on some of his documents, it potentially put a bigger target on the people around him from people who might be tempted to kidnap him to ransom him off; with the people around being expendable by the kidnappers. Seriously, if not for the intervention of others, Routledge's behaviour and action could easily have led to (if not would have led to) people helping him getting killed.

I love Simon dunking Katie

Huge fan of all your channels...thanks for all ur hard work

I live in Australia and no body here had any idea who the fuck that lady was. It was random, suddenly people were going on about this weird lady nobody knew about. Might be just my silo.

New scent: Komodo dragons breath.

I’m waiting for you to show up on one of Robert Evans’ podcasts. It would be glorious.

My grandfather was nearly one of those idiot travelers. He packed up his wife and his kids into the car and headed out across the channel and towards his final destination. He had heard of strange things going on there and wanted to see for himself if they were true. They got as far as Austria but had some difficulty finding gas (petrol) so they had to turn around. Thus they were in Switzerland on the day their visa stamp said they should have been entering Germany, September 1st, 1939. If this date is unfamiliar, it's the day Germany invaded Poland and started World War 2.

PETER! Cancel my afternoon meetings. Another Business/Brain Blaze video came out.

That stripe around the edge is called a cul d' sac

"On my student ID it said Simon Legend Whistler" - Now THAT I respect.

I want to buy Rotting Turtle, but jeez that's expensive 😢. My perfume is $20 or less man. Bath & Body spray for life.

23:45 Simon Whistler taken out of context. Heh.

“No regrets!” “Mhmm” 😂🤣😂🤣

Praise the Blaze Brothers!

Wow. Never heard about that Katie thing. That was grossly inappropriate that our government allowed that when so many people are still overseas. Even without knowing her views and the fact she was likely going to behave exactly how she did.

Its ok, most of Australia don't realise he is the deputy PM 😂 I personally had forgotten until you said it

"oh sh*t, he f*cken win didn't he" I love these comments!!!

I'm not sure... I'm pretty sure if you ignore losing your hair it *does* go away... that's the point of not ignoring it...

The blaze... Yay... Thank you Simon and co...

Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson all baldies and all bad ass action stars.

Wait, do people outside of Ilkley know the song on Ilkley moor baht ‘tat? Obviously not Simon though

Where is the "Allegedly" merch? C'mon SImon, it works for all of your channels!

I love how "they dont allow you to get any hair back" sounds like its just Keeps' use policy or something instead of an intrinsic property of hair-loss treatments

Lord, Legend, Simon Whistler. Dont mind me, just doing conjugation.

I really wish Simons other channel’s videos were as long as these.

You should do one on soldiers who fought multiple wars on their own volition.

I didn't knew that they're so many alternatives for postman * Learning stuff with Simon

The notification I await with baited breath.

You could skip using the manscaped merchandise for a bit and then have those transplanted to your head!

The Daddy Chill meme- I googled it & all I got was the meme. What is the context? From a movie or comedy show?

He didn't take anyone seat! Those planes were filled with people who in no way deserved to be flown out. We left all the people who deserved those seats there to die!

No one should be banned from Twitter Simon. That little comment was disappointing.

Sam's in some kinda mood

Fun fact, you can actually buy a small plot of land in Scotland, I think it's 10 square feet or something, which comes with the right to call yourself a lord or laird. It's raising money for reforestation. I don't recommend it as a deterrent to beheading, though. Being a lord has never been that.

Blaze Boi is covering Lord Miles' escapades? Nice

34 FUCK YEA SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE '87 BABIES OUT THERE WE ARE ALL FUCKIN LEGENDS

Today I found out Simon doesn't have a credit card. Just...How?!?

Yeah the collapse of Afghanistan wasn't much of a surprise to Biden, not after he told the Afghan President to lie to the world about the imminent collapse while he was begging Biden not to withdraw air support. Sometimes I wish Simon would do the least little bit of research on the politics he apparently doesn't care about but still has an opinion on.

Have you considered microneedling and minoxidil and finastritide I've seen people go from completely bald to a headfull of hair