This is what I realized years ago. A lot of women don't want a man trying to better them. That takes too much effort and isn't fun in their minds. They'd rather continue with their bad eating, drinking, spending and social habits. That's what they consider having fun and "living life/doing me."
Me and MOST OTHER BLACK MEN will tell you... WE'VE WATCHED MOST BLACK WOMEN CHOSE THE WORST DUDES OVER AND OVER. I'm 44, and I've seen it since middle school.
They secretly hope and pray that they will FINALLY find a bad boy type who will have the responsibilities of a good boy. A bad boy who will bring home the 4ps of protection, provision, problem-solving, and procreation. They want their cake and eat it too.
My mother is actually the reason how I found the RP community… My mother turned me against my father when I was young and was told nothing but bad things about him….some of them things may have been true….HOWEVER…when I moved in with my mother in my 30s to help her out with bills….I seen how she interacted with men and other women like co workers she would tell me that they said or did something to her…when Covid dropped and we both worked from home…I seen her lash out at men she dated…I heard lash out at co workers….and I would ask her what happened to this guy…or, what happened to this boss or supervisor at work…she would tell me that THEY said THIS to HER. When in fact I know that was the opposite….so I started thinking of ALL of her stories over the years…and noticed how they all sounded….or ended the same. And that’s when it hit me…SHE was the cause of all of her situations. Long story short…it didn’t end well between me and her…and she threw me out when I got her a government job that I was indeed interested in…over the years she insulted me and threatened me…after I never spoke to her again I heard from family that she was out here saying that i said those things to her! Everything I knew was a lie. Can’t believe I let a woman turn my back on my own dad. Everything she claimed he did to her…she did to me.
Here's another kicker, they truly believe that you (because you are a man) will never figure it out. You can't possibly reason through their BS to a viable conclusion.
This is the exactly what I dealt with dealing with my EX. She used all those words. I was tired of her procrastination and bad money habits. She piled on 8k of debt and didn’t pay any bills. I tried helping her solve problems, but she resisted.
could it be that she never liked you? I never understood why black people cant see the signs of when someone doesnt like you. You dont treat people you like poorly. It just doesnt happen
@@RONALD...... Exactly. It could be that the way bp grow up, their dominant parent taught them it was normal to be treated poorly because thats what love is. Its complete BS
@@robert9525 Yea, I believe everyone should put themselves 1st but the issue is when you put someone elses life in danger and act like nothing is wrong. Running up a debt on someone else is dangerous and ridiculous.
Isaiah 5:20 King James Version 20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
@@JusTheKing. Amerikkka is dooooooomed. If these verses don't wake "negros" up than nothing else will. Deuteronomy 28:16-68(KJV)(slavery), Genesis 15:13(KJV)(slavery), Obadiah 1:4(KJV)(Judgement of Amerikkka),Ezekiel 1:16(KJV)(U.fo's/Chariots of T.M.H)Genesis 1:6-8(KJV)(Glass dome/firmament), 1 Chronicles 16:30(KJV)(Flat-earth)Genesis 1:14-20(KJV)(The sun, moon, stars are within the firmament). Shalum. All praises to 👉YAHU'AH YAHU'SHA👈 THE JUDGE OF ALL JUDGES AND KING OF ALL KINGS!
This hit home. My last relationship ended earlier this year because I told her the truth about her pre-teen son (she asked me for my input on him, mind you). She didn’t take it well, talked real aggressive and threatened to end things, so I broke it off. Didn’t want to, but she called my bluff. I had just lost my father and grandmother in the same month, then boom-no girlfriend. No lie it hurt like hell because I really loved her, but I refuse to tolerate disrespect from someone I’m there to protect.
So younger me had three things I went by. 1 Your pass don't matter 2 I look at you for what you could be and not who you are today 3 no matter what we can figure things out. I HERD THOSE FOUR WORDS THE MOST RIGHT BEFORE THEY ENDED RELATIONSHIP. Now 1 Your pass ABSOLUTELY MATTERS 2 I look at you for who you are RIGHT NOW, and if you could have been better you would have done it already. 3 I will leave in a New York min the moment you are unwilling to work with me. Now the word I herd is ASSWHOLE when I ended. Raise Your Standards Gentlemen RYSG
I have 3 older sister and they each had their own specific man they were dating at some point that I told them was good. I told them God had blessed them and they would never have any man better in their lives. They each disrespected those men and only had loosers afterwards. They reminded me of my words a few weeks ago when we were all together and their regrets for not listening.
Isaiah 5:20 [20]Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
I don't even date anymore. I see how terrible they are in terms of choices. They prefer no accountability and no class. I had enough.. Better by myself. On my purpose 100%
Oh I remember these words like yesterday! Haven't been in a relationship for 3 years because of what I went through and I'm still trying to heal from the PTSD. I've even had dozens of even better looking hyenas trying to catch my eye but I'm low-key terrified that they might be trying to set me up or something. When I say I turned cold.. God Please Heal Our Community smh
I've been called controlling but I knew that was a red flag and my cue to drop that zero. As I think back and ask myself could I ever take any of my exes back the is no I can never take any of them back. I'm 43 years old with no kids and never had any STDs nor felonies. I don't have to pay child support or alimony. I'd rather be single than to be somebody's whipping boy or ATM 🏧 Proverbs 11:22 A beautiful woman lacking discretion and modesty is like a fine gold ring in a pig's snout. 14:1 A wise woman builds her house while a foolish woman tears her's down by her own efforts. 21:19 It is better for a man to live in the desert than with a quarrelsome fretful woman. Matthew 7:6 Cast not your pearls before swine unless they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. The more people act surprised that I don't have any kids or never been married the more I refuse to care. People who ask me about it has turned a blind eye to society and what it has become. I'm not in a stupor to pretend I don't know what is going on. It's a lot of women in this country who practice dark arts and I don't trust them. My own mother has forsaken me and refuse to do right by me. I don't trust anyone who has a reprobate mind because they are lost causes. So if anyone who reads this comment and know they are guilty of driving away good men or mistreating their own kids then they are vile people and the truth is not in them. I don't pity such people because they are grace wasters. They're the ones who are controlling. They're not qualified to be with good men.
Shalum brother. "We" have the same "mindset" and "practice" the same "works" here in Amerikkka a.k.a (Sodom and Gomorrah/Babylon/Egypt). I refuse to fornicate or marry "any" of these "Babylonian Semen Demons". Isaiah 5:20 not only describes our "society" as a "whole", but also "our people too". Stay safe brother.
You were right on point with the 4 words, Kendra - narcissist, controlling, demanding, and abusive. No matter what program or video I watch, its always one of those words, like they're all reading from the same script.* *Just remembered another word that is constantly used - - toxic. Everything is toxic (which means poisonous). Supposedly, the man is toxic. Or the relationship was toxic. No explanation, but it was toxic (poisonous).
Spot on Kendra . Simply spot on. Its why I'm childless and single now. It's like many of our sistas become enraged when we take leadership and provide proof as to our leadership.
@@mstwelvedeadlycyns YES! Ma'am, I literally was told vehemently by an ex of mine that my accolades meant nothing and that she didn't need any other bosses than at work. Even home girls , whom I attempted to apply mere logic and acumen to the situation, provided me with anger and resistance. I just cannot comprehend why we are told to "just lead ", and when we do that , we are scolded for that ? It's like I as a scholared black man am being punished for doing everything right Miss.
Look, I'm not even RP or Manosphere adjacent but Crimson is Speaking all facts. It was a HUGE eye-opener realizing that women of so many races just can't handle a Better Man. It harms their image- they love to be the better half.
That was fire Crimson Cure. You broke they ass down like a double barrel shotgun. It's really refreshing to here a real sister speak the truth about this gender war that we are unfortunately in. You a soldier baybeh and we appreciate you. Real time.🖤
Women: he’s a narcissist me: what are the top 3 criteria for a narcissist? Women: he’s was abusive me: starting in what year of the relationship? Then they’re pissed lol
Crimson was so on point with this one, every women I ever dated when they talked about an ex described them in this way, but while I dated them I saw red flags in their behavior and it made me think hmm, I see why their last relationship might have ended. Not saying guys don't have issues but to hear women tell it, it is always 100% the mens fault. Also there was a female who liked me and saw me as funny and easy going. We sat down one day and were discussing a serious topic and I gave my perspective, you could see her mood change because she had never seen me talk this way with purpose and insight. She actually said wow I have to look at you in a different light. I knew what she meant, she knew now that I had standards and would not pass my vetting and that scared her. So as you can probably guess we never went out again lol. So I am glad she saved me the trouble.
Story of my life, I'm laid back, easy going type of guy. When women of my past find out I'm assertive, resourceful, insightful, disciplined, etc.... All of a sudden, I gotta watch you, you not who I thought you were, I didn't think you could express yourself like this etc... etc.... Ish CRAAAYZEE bro.
I left my wife of 7 years because of these same reason she wouldn't let me lead or be the head ..it was a blended faimly/ marriage we had no children together but she had a 14yr daughter and a son/husband 25 that she let do whatever they wanted and i said to her put them in check or im leaving she did not .i dont believe in Divorce but i exhausted all my options i even used all the bible standards and she was making me lose my spiritually so i ask God for forgiveness and i left.
I classify myself as a decent good man with no kids, no criminal history, no gang violent history, never been in trouble in my life, I don't smoke or drink, I don't run the streets, I work a 9-5 Job I pay bills, im a decent looking guy, women call me handsome all the time, but yet women still over look me, for pooky, treat me like a ghost because Im not rich or not dark skin or 6ft+ tall..been single over 5-6 years now maybe more lost count..
When I was overseas in the Military, I founded out from my wife friends (now ex-wife) that she was telling lies about me to them to justify why she was frequently running the streets and going to the clubs. One day as I engaged a few of her friends in a conversation, one of her friends stated, "I find you nothing like what your wife said about you, she said I don't think there's anything wrong with you, you are very intelligent, smart, sensible, and friendly!" Right then, it was like the lights just got turned on in her friends' minds and the truth as to why my wife was telling these lies, became as clear as day. It was clear that my wife was telling these lies to disguise the fact that she is and will always be a woman for the STREETS!
I lost my apartment in Dallas cause of expired license and couldn't get hired (actually found 2 jobs) but was cutting yards and home improvement still....my sister put me out after a couple months then LIED and told our MOTHER saying she woke up one night and THOUGHT she smelled crack knowing drugs is the best LIE to tell....who's gonna fault her for that...I slept in my car for 3 or 4 months got my license saved up ..moved back home to Arkansas..in 3 months I had a apt.. job and a woman...minus the woman now and doing even better...I wish she'd run across this video
This helped me understand how after 15 years and two children all of a sudden my wife don't want to be together anymore it was mind-boggling I couldn't understand because I tried so hard to be the best father and the best version of myself but now it's clear she did not want to elevate and she knew she couldn't put up with the foolishness that the kids were trying to pull with me in the household now in the house is in total chaos and I live in peace but it's still hard to watch
Miss Kendra, you must have a crystal Ball, LoL. You just described my last relationship to the letter. She made me out to be this Monster of a person. Far from the truth. The more I leveled up, the worst she got. I could not figure it out to save my life. But you made it very clear. Thank you Miss Kendra, for what you do for me and my brothers around the world.
The whole topic is flames.. my ex wife of 20 yrs abandoned our marriage and our 4 kids missed all of the graduation she went to the streets stayed gone 2 yrs riding the CC and I finally divorced.. after finding the videos on the computer.. another story. I even stepped up and raised her son from 1 yr old to 17 yrs old.. Im retired military get lifelong benefits and she left when her son left at 17.. I always felt the competition I Was like why you trying to compete.. I spent 20 yrs in the military so I know leadership, planning structure and order..all she had to do was follow but threw it all away even her kids and remarried some other dude and us now homeless.. You’d be suprised at how many women agreed with her in leaving smh… This hit right at home and is Accurate Accurate Accurate.. FACTS that’s the story she told everybody Im a narcissist Im controlling Im toxic , naww She didn’t like structure and order and boundaries that’s what women use to reinvent themselves but she left the marriage and our kids.. smh .. 6 yrs no apology no contact no nothing but our daughter has took the same path as her mother ..Never again
Much respect for doing what you had to do to raise your family. I'm sure the children will look back and appreciate what you did for them. I hope something happens to make up for the pain caused.
Why is it that they always seem beat down military men. Heard Alot of stories about respectable military brothas being done wrong like that and much worse.
Believe it or not, I had to tell one of my soldiers, a 19 year old, to talk to his father (who was in jail) before he took his mother word on what type of person his father is to her. And I told him, "Always get both sides." I know this sounds biased, but women will _always_ make themselves appear candy-coated.
The harder you come the harder they fight against this therapy you serving… Only after scuffling and struggling in chaos will they see the good dude is gone.
I know someone who uses these words to describe an ex. Now while he was abusive, it is interesting to hear her vilify him when she stayed for yearsssss.
I genuinely appreciate you Kendra! You seriously speak to exactly how I feel in this video & many others. I was just having this conversation w/ a friend about dating and the challenges that come from interacting with the average blk woman. I’m 33, childless, in shape, & an engineer living in Atlanta - this past yr alone I’ve encountered a good deal of women but their mindset and resistance to being healthy/fit (and other factors) turned me off most times. We seriously have an issue in our community. I’m just trying to do my part to correct it & be the man I’m supposed to be to be best prepared for when I finally meet ‘her’. Peace, much love!
#DefiniteFacts big sis: You are definitely on point!!! My Ex: was saying the same thing " You treating me like a child and controlling " so that's where our disconnect was with us until I dropped her just about 3 months ago. I couldn't deal with the (Headache) with her.
Truth can be a brutal stabbing or a smooth, serene, beautiful healing. Anything can be compromised, imposed upon, misused, but you can't compromise TRUTH! Listen!
Thank you 😊 you clearly made sense of a situation I was just in. Now I am clear and able to keep walking. Far far away from her. Great message!! Salute 👏 👏 👏
You literally just described the last 3 women I've dated seriously or in a relationship with. They used the phrases I was: demanding, controlling or judgy. I hold myself to a high standard and I demand they hold themselves to a high standard. Ultimately they crumbled and broke off the relationship for whatever reason. Looking back at it, they've gone on to date other people and they can't find anyone to replicate how I treated them🤷🏾♂️. As my pops would say: "I didn't raise his boys to be the average n**ga, y'all are exceptions and anomalies and hold yourself as such" My parents are still married for 37 years. I tryna to get like that.
Dam. I've heard it many times and it confused me so bad I wondered what was wrong with me. They say things like: "You are too controlling." Or "You expect too much from me." And the other one, "I'm doing me." Then I'd say to myself, I don't see how I'm trying to be in control, where do they get that from? I honestly want the best for any woman around me, what am I missing? The relationship never goes past that, eventually fizzles out or the chick would get on my nerves to the point where I just stop engaging. Thank you for clarification on the issue. It always helps to have female friends you can trust so they can clarify things men will never understand without a "Woman's Perspective" Thank you so much.
I appreciate you so much for this I’ve been alone for the last year because of a woman that I was with for 6 years who tattooed my name on her 3 times decided she wanted to cheat on me. I took my daughter I got custody of and we moved out but she been trying to get me back and you know what hurt more than the cheating was what I heard she said about me behind my back. I can never with such a snake even though I loved her more than I can say where a person can understand.
Alhamdulilah, SubhanAllah sis jazakallahukhair for this!!! When I try to support my sister's I say a lot of what you said and was told that I was insensitive and dissmissive of their feelings. I'm so glad I found your channel. May Allah swt increase you in all things good ameen 🤲🏽
ASA WR WB okhti. ALLAHU AKBAR!! I'm very happy to hear that you're on the same level & speak on the same issues that Sister Kendra speaks on with other sisters. Masha'Allah!! May ALLAH SWT bless you with a GREAT Muslim husband, protection, Islamic knowledge, wisdom and many blessings.....INSHA'ALLAH.
Damn, I had to play this back again. 15yr relationship, and Crimson just called out everything from my ex. 4 beautiful girls and I swear this woman was not pleasant to be around. This woman gave not only me the bare minimum, but even our girls got the bare minimum. It was hard to watch. Towards the end of the relationship I started to apply too much pressure, and she ran instead of fixing what she knew she needed to fix to better not only our relationship but our home. I got the business started and that wasn't good enough. The issue was she wanted me to bow to certain things and I wasn't, so she says. Well, are we gonna keep going neck n forth. I'm not gonna do this for u if you're not gonna do this for me. I kept the our oldest, and she has our 3. It actually worked out for the best. I am Liberated!!!! These women want your blood while they reciprocate nothing. No more!!! This is why some men stay away all together. I do feel slighted because I know I was a good man to her, and she didn't deserve it
You are speaking so much truth. ......... I realized when she wanted a divorce, how blessed my life would be, I jumped in the air 4 feet with joy and never looked back, I won my case, and then didn't take nothing, I was so HAPPY and hurt because I value marriage, but she wasn't marriage material that were Happy looked to healing. Now life is amazing joyful, living my best life, God is so good as my journey is a dream come true.
Today I just left my girlfriend and Im not going back to her ever Im tired of her constantly demanding things from me always and being financial terror to me.I tried to sit with her and guide her but she got angry everytime I talk to her about being a financial terror to me she told me to shut up and I must just give her money whenever she wants it.today I called it quits forever she can go and party as much as she wants just without me anymore
You're so powerful with your words!! Hoping the best for yourself & the movement You're bringing to this space!! #Blessings my beautiful Sister Queen 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This was powerful. I heard these constantly, knowing I was doing my best. Even recently, she told me we aren’t together because she had to “react” to all the “abuse” she was giving her. It’s 100% confirmation that I never was crazy 💯
These are definitely the "last days". Isaiah 5:20 King James Version 20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
I didn't turn on my car radio for a few years because I only wanted to fill my mind with correct things. I finally turned it on and there was a woman with a the most beautiful and melodic voice singing about wanting someone to love her they way that she was. I was immediately disgusted because I knew it was conditioning propoganda to inforce the idea that requiring change/repentance equates to hate and love equates to self-will. Cain wanted to do and give according to his standards and was angry when it wasn't acceptable.
I just gone through exactly what she's saying. I dealt with a female who was on low income living, no job, sleeping on the mattress on the floor with a 7-year-old daughter from a previous. Came in took her out of the low income status. She didn't work for over over 10 yrs of our relationship. She finally gone back to school and once she got her job after 3months of working. She bounced on the relationship problem we had. This chick just didn't do nothing. I was actually raising a like minded child. Telling her to cook clean and how she wasn't nurturing our 2 daughters properly. This chick was supa lazy.
As goofy as my mother is and was she told 75 percent of the truth about her failures in relationship and how she wish she could do it better. She told me my dad was too good for her and she was right he was. But his family broke him.
Sis Kendra, you truly understand the breadth and depth of todays topic, you're latitude longitude coordinates are spot on. To rephrase a scriptural passage, "flesh and blood did not reveal it to you, but our heavenly father revealed it to you." If you hear a virtual "what the hell!" that's because at the mention of your first key word "narcissist," in context is a fact. I just encountered that label. An individual will go out of their way to hire an expert to make that label stick as a means to justify their decisions. It's to a point, I limit my communication down to two words "Yes" or "No" in response to any/all email or text exchanges.
Kevin Samuels has shown us many times how Black women are the Queens of breaking off marriage engagements. You Kendra Davis goes into depth on this subject. Real talk.
After overlooking the good guy for a big house with pool, tennis ct, sauna, conservatory & 3 trips abroad every year, got PHD got degrees 👈(2+) 🤔hmm now they can't even get a sperm donation according to statistics 🤪 err I think they gonna need to work on their personality after all!
