How Could You Leave Us- NF - Reactionalysis - Music Teacher takes the NF Journey 

"Certainly she is not on drugs when she is doing that." This comment stopped me. Having been raised by two addicts and then later adopted by another addict couple, I can 100% say that addicts will drive under the influence. Most addicts I know get to a point where they believe they cannot leave their home if they are sober, since the world is too difficult to deal with that way. I agree that addiction is a disease, but not similar to a heart attack. Addiction is a disease that to me should be viewed like a mental illness. After finally leaving an addict filled home I understood that I was not angry because my loved one was sick with addiction, but that they refused to try to get better. It's difficult to watch your parent make decisions that hurt you or your siblings, and then refuse to change once they realize what they have done. Everyone deserves forgiveness, but death shouldn't be the line that forces you to see your bad decisions clearly. A second level of anger can come from the fact that your parents still had you, knowing they struggled with addiction. It feels like an injustice to be born in to a life held together by someone unstable. Ultimately the anger shields us from the pain their decisions cause. I'd rather be angry with my past then feel hopeless because my parents refuse to attempt to get better.

He has forgiven her. As an adult he realized she was dealing with her own issues. This song was written by that scared kid. In an interview he says he feel guilty about how angry he was at his Mom, but he was honest about how he felt at that time. It's easier for some people to show anger than sorrow and pain.

This song is the reason I got clean my son played it for me and I could see my kids pain through Nate eyes and and feel it in his pleas and cries. I've been clean for 2 years. I hope he realizes not only is he helping troubled kids but mom's just like his. 😔💔

And just like that hes back. Hope you are doing well.

Interesting thing about trauma is that even when youre "grown up" it leaves that hurt part of you at the same age you were when it happened. You smell cigarette smoke and suddenly you're 9 years old in the back seat of the car again. And so he may be speaking here as an adult, but he's an adult who experiences these memories like he is a child. When you have chronic traumas you can develop cPTSD, and from an outsider's perspective, I think he has it. I saw a more recent interview where he said he's worked through a lot of this in therapy and feels differently now than when he recorded it and understands it's more complicated than "just say no." It's interesting that's what we are taught as kids though, to "just say no" to drugs. And that showed his limited understanding as a kid who didn't get what was going on, only felt the pain of his needs not being met.

I think the confusion you feel about his emotions likely represents exactly how he was feeling. Dealing with someone who has an addiction is such a confusing, overwhelming situation. You still have that love for them and want them to be there, yet you're angry at who they've become. When most people listen to this song they're overcome with sadness, but I think you dug deeper into it and felt all of his conflicting emotions. Im glad you're back. Thank you for this.

Scent is closely linked to memory. As a kid, I rode on a tractor with my dad a lot. He’s been gone for 21 years. To this day, the whiff of diesel exhaust immediately brings me back to that tractor and my dad. Diesel exhaust is a comforting smell to me. It reminds me of him.

His missing both the mother he never had and the potential mother she could have been if she would have gotten clean. And I think he has some guilt because his anger stopped him from calling her and maybe he thinks if he had called he could have saved her.

This is why it’s important to listen through his music in order and also to not get stuck in one album or on one song. There is a growth and progression, not just in his music but also in himself as a person. His music is personal and incredible. Whether or not that is where he is now, it’s where he was at this moment in his life and that is real and raw!

Isn't it said that there are stages to grief and one of them is anger? I get that an addiction is a disease, the same way that depression is, that there's something permanently changed in the chemical balance of our brain. But I have a cousin that is an alcoholic and a drug addict and I still get angry whenever he shows up drunk or drugged and asks me for money. I know that I can't force him to a rehab if he doesn't want to and I think this helplessness is what turns into anger as well. I think NF knows this all now and probably knew that also at the time he made this song but the same way the addiction is a disease and it's not that simple, the anger is irrational and you can't stop feeling a certain way just because you know it's not fair. It's not simple either.

Couldn't click that notification fast enough, good to see you posting again

I already have another comment already, but, nf has said in a couple of interviews that he has changed his views on this song in particular. When he wrote it believe he had a lot of anger at his situation whereas now he has changed on his views. This is all my personal beliefs based on what I've seen of him in songs and interviews so it could be wrong

I have to be honest, this reaction has gotten me pretty angry. It's 3:15am. I never sleep through the night and woke up and was happy to see you're back as I have checked many times. I don't know if you have a personal connection to addiction but that's how I felt watching your reaction. I do agree that addiction is a disease and you can't blame someone for being sick. Here's where it changes for me. I am 39 and have suffered with severe mental illness most of my life and I am technically disabled due to it. It got worse 10 years ago when I had a child that passed away. I wanted to die and thought about suicide every single day. I cared about my family though and didn't want to hurt them so I am constantly in therapy, hospitals, and even have had my brain shocked many times to try to get better. It hasn't worked. At this point in my life, I can barely walk, my hair is falling out, and my depression and anxiety are horrible. I think about ending it every single day and have prayed to die in my sleep so many nights. I keep fighting though. The difference is that no matter what we still make choices. We make choices to fight our disease or let it take over. It is a daily and sometimes hourly fight. I fight to stay here to not hurt my family. I think that is where Nate's anger came from. She didn't fight. She let the disease take over. It may not be "fair" for him to blame her, but it wasn't fair to him to lose his mother. We can't always control our emotions. Now I obviously don't know if she sought help or not but from the song it would appear not. If you compare addiction as a disease to having an illness like cancer or diabetes, people choose to try to get help. That doesn't mean it will work but the effort put in changes things. I don't know if I'm making sense, but the anger seems to be what he was going through at that time. I know that his opinions on the loss have changed but I thought you were a bit harsh in your criticism of him blaming her. You came off quite angry in my opinion. I don't think it's fair to judge someone else's feelings or emotions. (which is sadly exactly what I'm doing to you right now) And music is his way of coping and putting it all out there. It's his therapy and sometimes just getting it all out helps people heal and move forward. I hope you will think about what I said about choosing to fight and maybe understand where he was coming from at that time in his life. He's moved forward and grown since then which ultimately is a wonderful thing. I really feel like you may have some type of personal connection in some way to this to bring out your anger. I hope you heal from that as anger just eats away at us. I'm proud of Nate for laying all his anger out there but then moving forward. I hope whatever was keeping you away is better now and I look forward to more reaction videos.

Nice to see ya back. This song kills me it is exactly my mother’s life. Luckily we had a stepmother save us boys.

Out of nowhere he drops and all the fans will embrace it

This was a cautionary presentation to those still able to say no to early and potential addictions.... Preventative medicine if you will... and NF is also being brutally honest with the true perception of his evolution of emotional conclusions over the coarse of his mental healing...

Such a powerful song... I've been waiting for someone to recognize the simplicity of the song. Musically, it's actually a horribly repetitive song. It has the same four chords and the same beat repeating over and over again. But this is EXACTLY what the video and the lyrics emphasize. He mentions it in his lyrics: "Welcome to the bottom of hell. If pain is a prison, let me out of my cell." In other songs he talks about how much time he spends with his regrets (Mansion, Remember This, among others). He's trapped in his mind (Mansion, Intro II, Outcast, Outro, Intro III, The Search). Likewise, in the video you see these same memories cycling over and over. It's as if he's trying to show both the intensity of the emotion and how his memories are constantly haunting him. I'm a therapist by trade, and I would say that this was incredibly therapeutic for him. Not to get too psychodynamic here, but his inner child never dealt with the pain of all those times his mother abandoned him. It's interesting to see his reflection on this song now. He'll admit that he's come to a better understanding of where his mom's struggle was coming from. He's shared that he would write a different song, one with more understanding of his mother's struggle. I think this would be equally therapeutic. Personally, I would hope that he does. One is addressing the pain he's carried over the years, the other showing understanding and empathy for his mother who was lost in addiction.

So glad you’re back!!! Love love your insights This was his raw expression of working thru these emotions. Love how all us NF hardcore fans are defending our boy. He moves people and fair to his mother and addiction or not lots of people can relate.

He's back and it's with one of the hardest hitting songs out there. Great analysis as always Mike. Glad you're back too.

NF really had both relationships with his mother. If I recall, she wasn't always addicted, and at some point she was trying to be a parent. However, since NF was so young, his built up resentement clashes with the happiness she brought him as a kid. I think he meant for the track to show that his mother's addiction has messed him up so bad all the memories sort of blend in, leaving a mix of feelings that are quite confusing.

Missed you, teach. Glad to have you back

Not expected this but highly appreciate it! Good to have you back!

When I wake up I always check my phone first and this is NOT something I expected to see, I've never gotten out of bed this fast! Welcome back MTR!

good to hear a more in depth breakdown of the lyrics. I feel that he is trying to portray that, at least by what we have been given in his songs, he wished that she had taken steps to help herself, like rehab or even reaching out to somebody but didn't . I feel that he has all this pent up anger she would have at least made an attempt to. Yes, addictions are very real and isn't something you can just quit and not have a hard time doing it, but at the same time if having a relationship with your children would give you a reason to fight, instead of putting up a front.

Literally woke up and saw you posted a video. Normally would go back to sleep but I love your reactions and breakdowns. I have been waiting and glad to see you back.

So glad your back! And with NF! tough song to come back to.

That is crazy he never cussed in any of his songs he is talented artist

Happy to see you back. Hope you're doing well! NF's song "Nate" from The Search explains a little more about his relationship with his mother. I think someone else mentioned it but I watched an interview with NF where he said now that he's older, he looks at the situation with his mother differently. Thanks for your reaction!

I LOVE THESE! Can't wait for the next album reactions

1:For a person to move on with life after a situation like this, they need to grieve. We aren't always emotionally mature, especially when we are grieving. ( You can only forgive once you have truly grieved.) 2:We know that Nf uses his music as a therapist. Being completely honest and talking about what we feel helps us understand why we feel that way. 3:This is a milestone in his career. He can now look back at this moment and realize his growth. 4: Thank you for this break down.

Good to see you back here again, and finally you’re at this point. One of the songs that has touched me the most, because it’s a very personal song for me. A great video once again! Love watching your videos. Hope you are doing well!

At the end of this song when he recorded it in the studio. He asked everyone to leave. That's what we hear about at the end of this song when he starts to rant about how his mom won't be there for her kids. Those are Raw authentic emotions. I'm glad you dissected this song in the way you did. Keep up the great work! I've been to 2 nf concerts. Should have been 3 but it got canceled due to covid

I relate too much to this song and it meant a lot to see you react to it. Thank you.

I don’t even know where to start but your point of view of the addiction and how it holds people captive, literally just flipped a switch in my head that helped me heal my inner child. I can’t thank you enough for this perspective. It’s hard to hear because it’s easier for me to stay mad, but just like in “Wake Up”, staying made doesn’t help me progress forward. Sometimes I get lost in the lyrics which helps me in the moment, but it’s hard for me to get out of it. Thank you.

I've been waiting for this! ❤ cant wait to get home and watch it!

So happy you're back! Another great NF video

I always learn new things on songs that I heard a million times when I watch your videos! Love the content!

So glad you are back. I've missed your reactions. I hope everything is going well for you.

So glad you are ok and glad you are back. I missed your reactions and insight, your truly are a genius

Finally! I've been waiting for your return. Can't wait for your next video. I really love your reactions and I cant wait for the next one. Keep up the amazing work.

Welcome Back! We missed you and love your Reactionlysis.

So glad you are back, I was starting to think we wouldnt get video til the school year ended. Edit: the deafening silence of your spacebar caught me so off guard.

“Without silence, you can’t have sound” This was brilliant

You have NO idea how excited I was when I saw you uploaded a reaction video! I told ya Billie brought me to your channel but I didn’t care who or what song your first reaction back would be that I would watch all the way through...and that’s just what I did. I’m going to keep this light-hearted but THANK YOU for returning. Ps. Your response to the neighbors car backing out was one example of what I have missed about you - love ya and look forward to more reactions!! 💚

I’m so happy your back!!

I’ve been waiting for this one for a while, THANK YOU, hope you are doing well!

Love how you planned out the intro of this video. I would say “talented” but you obviously put in the work.

It's been a hard week and waking up and seeing this video notification was the best thing that's happened all week, it made me so happy! So glad you're back and doing okay. I think a big part of this song is how NF is confused about why he is sad and why he misses his mom so much when she wasn't ever there before and he never had the relationship even before she died, so why did it hurt so much when she was gone for good? But I think it's also what you said about him missing the mom he wishes he could have had. Maybe while she was alive he always had a hope that she would get better and she would come clean, and so when she died he lost all that hope too. I think it's definitely meant to be an angry song, and it's the first time he really put all his emotions about his mom into a song and so you get all of the anger and the sadness and the confusion mixed up together which makes sense if you think about how he's finally getting out 5 years of these emotions. He did say in an interview that his perspective has changed since this song and when he listens to it back he knows that's not how he feels anymore.

I finally watched this video. I'm a HUGE NF fan--have been since the Moments album, but I purposely avoid this song. As a recovering alcoholic/addict (14 years clean and sober) I always tend to feel incredibly defensive and maybe a little bit resentful at not only the emotions that fuel this song, but at the public response to it as well. Addiction is an insidious demon. I got really lucky and am somehow still alive. But I've lost track of how many of my friends in recovery did not make it. That does not mean that they didn't fight. You are the first person that I have heard who has said publicly that they disagree with some of the lines in this song, and I cannot even begin to express how much I appreciated seeing that.

Hi! Really happy that u are back! Love your reaction! For the perspective of him now or him kid, he said like 2 years later that, he don't regret writing this song because it's really emotional and what he was feeling at the time, but he said that now he realize that he's been hard on her and he now understand that she didn't had control.

Like button hit. Comment commented. Then play button hit. Glad to see you're back!

This song is an old song. He mentioned in a recent interview that his prospective of his mother's death has changed, because he didn't know what she was going through.

Welcome back! Been waiting to hear from you again and glad to see that you're back. To help address some of your confusion as to the song, you're trying to apply logical thought to reasoning/thoughts derived from (almost) pure emotion. The song is structured in a way that shows him trying to get through the 5 stages of grief although he only manages to get through pain, depression, and anger. Also, his approach is mostly that of the perspective of a child trying to understand why his mother wasn't there (and being a mother) but rather was lost in the pills, not to mention trying to understand *why* his mother even got addicted in the first place (or rather, why she ever took them to begin with/allowed them to get her addicted). I don't think the anger is towards his mother over her addiction but rather at the addiction's hold on her, how it had power/sway over her. I don't think the anger is aimed at his mother but rather what the addiction (and life) had robbed him of (which was his mother) and since his mother was the "centerpiece" of his angst (or rather her lack of presence), that is where the anger just happens to be directed. It was/is something that he's still struggling with. When he says "I wish you were here", he's referring to his mother being there in his life as a mother. No matter how angry he gets, she's still his mother so he still loves her and wanted her to be a part of his life and it's the mother he never really had (due to the addiction) that he wanted. It's anger at the loss of "what could have been" rather than anger at what happened. Hard to explain it really... As for his line "why do I feel like i lost something I never had", what he's referring to is actually that lost potential relationship. When she died, that actually killed any and all hope and potential of an actual relationship that *could have been* between them. He's not referring to the loss of a mother that was addicted but rather the mother that "could have been" had she not been addicted. In other words, the anger in the song isn't so much directed at his mother but rather at the *loss* of the mother/son relationship that *could* have been had it not been for the addiction that kept them from ever having/building that relationship. The title itself can be a clue this because by saying "How could you leave us" followed by the actual content of the song, he's actually asking how could you leave before we could ever have/build that relationship? How could you leave before we could set things right? How could you leave before we could finally have a genuine chance at a relationship rather than essentially being strangers due to the addiction? So... In other words, he's lamenting at the loss of the potential mother he never had and is lashing out in anger at the situation/events themselves rather than at his mother (though it sounds that way). At the end, if you're paying attention and putting it all together, you'll realize that what he's talking about is what could have been but will never happen now since she died from the pills. Not to mention that the anger towards the addiction because it not only took his mother away when he needed her most (growing up) but then they turned around and killed her which prevents any kind of reconciliation and recovery of any potential relationship between them. The anger is actually directed at the addiction, the pills, and the parts of her that those things had a hold over rather than at the "mother" part of his mother. The evidence for this is the anger in the verses and yet the sorrowful crying in the chorus. There were two sides of his mother and he's talking to both of them... The verses (anger) were directed at the addict part of his mother while the chorus (and the end) were directed at the "mother" part of his mother (the part that was smiling, happy, loving, and that was there for her children when she was in control rather than when the addiction was in control). I'm not sure if I explained myself well but I hope this helps clarify/clear up some of the confusion and allows you to better piece the whole thing together in a way that makes more sense to you (especially the parts that *seem* contradictory but actually aren't).

Glad your uploading again man! Love your vids!

I had the opportunity to attend his second Therapy Session Tour back in 2017 when he did perform this song during the concert. He stated just prior to performing the song that he still loved his mom and he misses her. He was in High School when she passed away, a matter of months before graduating. Also, the Crying is real. Tommee Profitt, NF's primary producer, as well as everyone else in the studio was asked by NF to leave and keep the microphone recording. It took him a number of days to record this song. Again, this song is on an album named Therapy Session. He is simply letting out that emotion. His views of the song have changed, having stated that if he could rewrite it that he probably would. He also stated that at the time of writing this song that this was still something that he needed to work through as a person.

WELCOME BACK!! We missed you!!

Seen this coming from a mile away, and yep at that point in time it made sense "how could you leave us" would be recommended to our favourite musical teacher.

First of all, WELCOME BACK! You were missed! This was the first song I heard from NF. It was a few months after I lost my son to addiction in 2017. The line”I hate the way I remember you” struck me so hard because it had been so hard for me to remember my son before his addiction. NF did write this before he truly understood addiction. He has said in an interview that he was finally able to forgive his mom once he realized that addiction is indeed a disease. I do feel like I lost my son twice. Once when his addiction began, and again when he passed. I think this song has been very healing for many people. I am trying very hard to remember that my son was so much more than his addiction. So glad you are back! You were missed!

Good to see you back!

I'm pretty sure the majority of us requested your reaction to the song because we just wanted to know if you were gonna cry like a big old baby like we did!!!! 😭😭😭😂😂😂 Great video!

Heyy, Mike is back! Welcome back my guy

So good to have you back! Been checking almost every day for new content :D I hope you're well!!

Great to see you back. We were waiting ... Keep on!

as a man i cried like a baby hearing this song the first time. Really hit way to close to home. great to see you back, looking forward to the upcomming reactions;)

Great analysis!

good to see your content again!

It's finally here! So excited to watch this one.

Hey, you're back, I'm so glad, I'll start watching now xD

Great to have you back!

Seeing the different perspectives from children or family members that suffer from addiction is really interesting. My mother was an addict my whole life and recently passed away. I never really felt any anger towards her and I always tried to make sure she knew that I wasn’t angry and always tried to prevent her from feeling more guilty than she always did. Whereas my sister was the complete opposite. She was always angry and always put the blame of her own addiction onto our mother

I relate really heavily to this song. My dad was verbally abusive to my mom so she shrunk into herself and stopped being a present mother. I blamed her for a really long time and this song came out right around the time we stopped speaking. You can tell by the way he cries that he hates how angry he is and that he knows he shouldn't be but can't help it because it felt like she chose to leave. Luckily my mother is out of that relationship and we are very close now, but I totally understand his anger and hurt. He has said in interviews that he doesn't feel that anger anymore and has been in therapy to accept that her addiction was not a choice. But sometimes it takes a long time to get to that point of acceptance when you have such deep feelings of hurt. This song still brings me back every time to the hurt I felt about my mom, and she was alive and still able to be in my life if I chose. I can't even imagine the hurt he felt, and the guilt he has probably had to process over the anger he has expressed towards her

I love that you're back! I agree with what you say about him blaming her. He has talked about that in an interview once, he changed his view. Back then her death was more recent, so he still was hurt more. (She died when he was 18 and therapy Session was released when he was 25). A couple of years later he said that he changed his view and has less anger towards her and understands what she went through. Love the video as usual! Hope you're back for a while

My eyes popped when I saw this vid in my recommendations. Mike, I've missed you!! I kinda feel bad THIS is the song you come back to. It's heavy. As he has grown older, his perspective has matured, too; I hope that helps. It is very complex. Great breakdown.

I’m glad you’re back! Hope everything is okay and I’m excited to see what you post in the future too :)

Long have we waited for this moment

IVE WAITED SO LONGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

so touching for an excellent video

NF really needed this song. He's clearly angry about his mother and is allowed to be a little selfish. This was therapy for him and extremely moving for us.

I’m not crying.... You’re crying!

Wow, that was worth the 78 day wait, not that I was counting... I really do enjoy these reactionalysis(es?). I hope you are doing well during all this. Australia seems to have gotten the virus under control, but where I live in Illinois we get as many cases as Australia has had total in two days (yikes!)

Thought you stopped!1 Glad to see this!

So excited when I got this alert!!!! WOOOOOOOOO

Missed you, glad to see you're doing well.

I think there’s sometimes a misunderstanding about anger towards an addict. People think it’s not fair to hate someone with that disease. But, at least for me personally, there are SO MANY feelings to deal with when you begin to try to work through your issues with the situation. I usually hate this analogy, but it’s like peeling an onion, and anger is one of the easier emotions to peel away first because it’s directed at someone else. Even as an adult, you have to peel that anger away before you can start to work on the more introspective emotions like pain and fear. Those are so much harder to handle. The thing I love about NF is that he’s not afraid to bring us with him as he works through all of the things in his life. He is letting us experience his anger and pain, which might be considered as childish, but as he works through things over the years, his perspective and feelings change. He’s more recently said that he remembers his mom differently now, from a place of grace and forgiveness. His journey is a beautiful, inspiring one, and it’s made even more beautiful by how honest he’s been willing to be since the beginning. LOVE your reactions! I always enjoy seeing my favorite music through the eyes of someone who can appreciate all of the elements of the music and break it down so well. Thank you!

In mansion he said one of his biggest regrets is that he didn’t call his mom when he was about to lose her and in the end of this song he said things that were out of control and the fact that he mentioned that he wished would of called her is just amazing how NF really does put his life out into songs and means it

It’s the one I’ve been waiting for...and I’ve been worried so this is a nice surprise

This Song is the Most beautiful Piece of Art ever been made... And Welcome back !

A death of a loved one is like having a piece of your heart ripped out of you, it is violent , painful, messy, devastating and a nightmare that you keep thinking you’ll eventually wake up from. You walk around numb wondering why life hasn’t stopped, why people seem to be going about their lives as if everything is normal while yours has stopped leaving you broken. No matter the cause of death, when someone you love dies, you will never be the same, that place in your heart now ripped apart can never be whole, the sad emptiness and devastating scares will always be there. You will never be the same. Now add the stages of grief which everyone eventually goes through and yes, you have to go through them all, anger will hit you, anger at yourself, your loved one, other people, even God! You have to go through these stages to heal. Getting angry is healthy as long as you don’t stay there. Moving through the stages…moving forward is key. Nate was very brave to release this song. He could have kept it to himself, not letting us hear him in a very desperate, agonizingly vulnerable place. That would have been understandable, yet his value of Real Music and being true to himself won out. It’s important not to judge people in their pain, everyone is different and the timeline it takes to process the pain of death and how people choose to process it is ver personal. Watching/hearing someone in their process can be very uncomfortable, especially if you can’t relate to it. I think Nathan did this amazing brave thing to release this song and to show us this side of him. Seeing all the comments where it’s helping people who relate as an addict and a person abused by someone who was addicted is incredible. Emotional, mental and physical neglect is abuse. It doesn’t matter if the abuser can help it or not. Abuse is abuse. He loved his mother despite the abuse and add death on top of that, leaves a lot to unpack and process. NF working through this in his music has undoubtedly helped others. I am proud of him.

Thank you for this video. I understand what you mean about the disease. Anger always covers pain. It is a defense we use. Think about any time you have been angry and you will see. He was writing as the son of a drug addict that died. He is all ages as he writes it. At least that is how I hear it. The music part of your analysis was great. You make me love the art work of music even more.

All the crying and the soliloquy was taped when he was alone in the studio he turned out all the lights and just thought about her. She lost custody because her addiction didn't allow her to see that his boyfriend beat Nate really badly.

Scrolling through recommended, and found this, haven't started watching yet, but already know it'll be good :)

addicted to the spacebar sound, all you have to do is smash it but you never did. Welcome back

Glad your back man

On crying: I read that Nate recorded this song on the first take, and that he wasn't supposed/planned to cry, but he couldn't hold back his emotions his first time singing it--and then kept the crying in the released version of the song. That could be why it's in-between the chords and the singing.

My parents used to smoke but they got over it easy. People with that type of experience don’t realize how hard real addictions can be. It’s good that you said that So people know. 👍

Song is spoken from child's perspective. So glad your back.

Love you man

I finally finished my cross country move and am happy to be able to get back onto your NF journey!

i know im late to the party but i believe the disconnect is understanding and logic dont heal wounds. child or an adult he is brave in even expressing these things. Many times the pain can be so bad all one can do is hide it deep inside. Even if it starts like this for NF in regards to his vision or resentment of his mother it has to start somewhere. I had parents where were both alcoholics and i am one also. i have resenments even knowing the struggle myself. I just hope NF, myself , and others can grow toward freedom and peace.

We missed you!!!!