Avoidants come on very strongly. Then they literally fault find with no communication so u never have the ability to correct things. They are way way too secretive and if you try to get too close or ask normal questions that’s when they back away. Everything literally is on their terms. Honestly unless u are in a relationship with one you could not even imagine. It’s the most challenging relationship I’ve ever been in. Never ever again …
I use to be scared of going places and getting lost. I believe it stems from my parents arguing over the map . My dad drove and mom was reading the map. Many arguments. Better today but still get worried.
Here is what will help us in the clinical approach. ALL trauma responsive behavior is narcissistic. Period. We can stop being afraid of the word. Whether intentional or not, we have to highlight fear-based ego responses as they are without minimization. It doesn't help people to discount their undesirable traits. The main proponent of change comes through facing the shadow aspects. Avoidant behavior is fearful behavior and it is narcissistic. Anxiety-ridden control is narcissitic. It's self-preservation. It's okay to call it narcissistic so that people can make accurate decisions.
