Used to watch your videos last year and relate and be fascinated by everything you were saying and how accurate it was. I had SO MUCH mental hunger and weight to gain. Now I'm watching you recovered (physically and mostly mentally) and its painful to even think about how that felt I honestly don't know how you manage talk about it but it helps others so tank you. In my ed I became extremely bulimic to the point my weight became deathly low and vitals were unstable (I didn't count cals in my ed). I needed to do ANYTHING to get out of the cycle as nothing had worked and this is going to be controversial but it worked for me I began to count calories (a temporary bridge). I didn't increase them every week, I increased them everyday according to my hunger. This educated me on what I was eating as well as helping me get over my fear of increasing what I was eating while still maintaining some sense of control (otherwise I felt completely out of hand and binged). I continued this and made sure my weight was increasing and then began to slowly let ti go (Go for meals out with family several times a week untracked etc.). As I gained weight I got a job.... I had to be stronger to properly be able to do it and it also got me socialising again and having a feeling of purpose which helped shift my focus away from ed and food and open my eyes to the world and experiences again. I then got into uni which gave me another thing to focus on and new experiences and food became less and less important. I now only loosely track with the aim to eventually segway into completely intuitive eating. This is what worked for me as when I tried all in it failed for me several times.
Your reply has given me some hope. I was restricting and calorie counting/weighing all my food and myself. I've been a bit like you by increasing my calories bit by bit but now I'm nearly 2 stone heavier and I hate the weight gain. I'm still calorie counting etc. but reading your post has given me some insight in how to begin to let go of the counting & trying to let go. Wishing you all the best as you work towards your goal of eating Intuitively
@@paulawhittaker3538 Aw this comment made me so happy!!! You should 100% have hope. With an eating disorder lighter in never good enough. You say you hate the weight gain… honestly I did too, it’s expected with an Ed, but what you’ll realise is that caring about what you look like with more weight is actually kind of silly if it allows you to be healthier and live more and not be consumed by food. I guarantee you your life will be better and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks as long as you are happy and taking care of yourself. As you continue to gain weight and other interests you won’t care about it anymore, there’s no reason to! I now know what I felt like underweight and I know that I was 1) deeply unhappy 2) not satisfied 3) irrational 4) socially isolated 5) boring 6) obsessive 7) depressed 8) low energy and the list goes on. If gaining weight gives me more life and not always obsessed with food then being heavier/stronger is worth it even if I don’t like the way it looks. You will get there! Take it one day at a time but always move forward. Just ask yourself why you want to stay smaller and figure out what the root cause it and really question it
Deathly low and vitals unstable. It’s so triggering to think that you have to have a death low weight to warrant recovery. These kind of comments should not even be here 🤦♀️
My God, I miss when I was like you like 1.5 yr ago. Now, 4 weeks into recovery from Anorexia with B/P tendency, I'm obsessed with food, thinking about it 24/7, wanting to eat everything as if I'm going to die the next day, planning it, and ONLY looking forward for my next meal. It's taking over my life so much I stopped drawing, reading books, playing piano, lost my libido, working and going to school. For how much longer do I have to suffer!? My life is ruined and still is despite going into recovery 😭
@@britnycypironoski643 Hello. I'm recovered. I still struggle with bad thoughts when indulging on sweets but I still eat it with no restriction haha. I wish I had been kinder to myself during recovery. I truly had to give in to the feast-eating. There was a reason after all why I was thinking about food 24/7 and eating all the time. I had to call in sick and stay at home at least 4-5 months because I truly had to just rest and eat, nothing else! During my sickness I had such severe movement compulsion and all my body was in severe pain. I only truly recovered when I gave myself FULL permission without any judgement or restriction AT ALL. Eat exactly what I crave in the amounts I crave. Unfortunately, it is scary. Some days I ate unimaginable amounts of food! And, sometimes the extreme hunger went away and came back like a truck! Once again, I wish I was kinder to myself back then. It was after all kinda nice to finally freaking rest from the demons and just be super lazy, cozy, chill and eat all the food. And dang, did that food taste good. Now I'm not as obsessed or excited about food unless I go out and eat. If you got more questions about my recovery feel free to ask. I wish everybody could recover super fast. I feel so much happier now 😭❤️ you got this!!! 👍
Welcome back! Glad you had a good holiday and enjoyed the English cream teas and pork pies, lol Omg the kittens are SOOOO cute . Definitely precious to e barn cats, lol
The example with the cat is very important! When you're in your eating disorder all you care about is food & you have no space to care about other human beings, which is soo sad! Even that should be enough reason to recover!
Hey Tabitha, I'm in recovery for approximately 4 years now but in quasi recovery, I tried to commit 2 month ago, gained some weight (not wheing myself) but don't know if I'm doing it the right way but I'm trying my best, I eat nearly what I want and especially in the evenings , walk 40 min a day ( still a bit of compulsion to move and to clean or stand up) and I'm very ridgid about the time I eat. I'm in university and it is very difficult for me because classes can end at 1 pm but I usually eat at 12. When I have to wait I get very hangry at everyone and can't focus on my lessons. I can't hear anything and just focus on the fact that I have to wait one hour before eating and that this is awful blah blah blah.... It's the same when I'm in holidays so I prefer not going anywhere and stay home alone. I'm very scared of going back to Uni after summer break because of that. I don't know how to manage that, it's a pain in the ass and it's ruining my relationships and my ability to be spontaneous because I have to make sure that I will be able to eat when it' s time to. 7am 9h30am 12 3pm 6pm and 8pm... It's one of the thing that bother me the most. I just can't wait more than those hours! Do you have any advices? Thank you, lots of love❤️
Dear one I can relate to you I am now recovered but had to be willing to let go of the routines, exercise, compulsions and trust the process My goal was not to interfere in the process of resting and eating unrestrictedly at any time, any amount and any kind of food Let go and trust those who have recovered I am free now to live joyfully and put my focus on the Lord instead of myself Commit to … Eat at different times and eat more so you don’t get hangry as often Stop walking the 40 minutes Commit and trust Give your mind time to adjust to body changes Never never never run back to ED - only bondage there Praying for you to be set free!!
I also notice that when i was restricting I was fascinated with wields which are pretty popular. Now Im so not interested and they seem so weird boring and unrelated to me I can't even watch one the whole way through. Its so weird how the brain isn't obsessed with food anymore after getting out of a deficit. ITS AMAZING
Jayyy, she‘s back!! Hope you had an amazing holiday! I really need your videos right now haha I know if would be better if I didn’t but doing this by myself sometimes just feels like too much… and I guess listening to you talking about the same things over and over again also kind of has a learning effect on my brain? Like building up new thought processes by hearing the same thing a thousand times?
If someone thinks about food a lot would you say they’re not fully recovered? I don’t think about calories or the amount I’m Eating at all but nutrition is very important to me and knowing myself and my children are getting a wide variety of foods and different colours. I always eat things I love and enjoy but make sure they have nutritional benefits. I’m not trying to stay a certain weight or lose weight just eat in a way that feels good and prevents sickness. So I do think about food, I do a lot of cooking right now making 2 different types of cookies for my kids ☺️
I have a deeply pressing question. What if you accidentally got massively into energy deficit (and fast and extreme weight loss) again based on an emotional and physical trauma that last 3 weeks? And before that you were in a great state of recovery but for some reason all of the old anorexia thoughts are plaguing you way more than ever as well as severe PTSD from what just occurred? How do I start recovery again? And is it possible that your body and mind can have unconscious food anxiety when you do go to eat so much that you feel ill and sometimes throw up when you do go to eat? All I want to do is go back to eating again. But my mind is keeping from itin a way it never has before
What are your thoughts about people that have recovered and still thinks a lot about food because they love food? I see ex anoretics having food accounts on instagram, making cookbooks etc all the time
Thank you Tabs for answering my question. Gives me hope that when I am through this eating face that it becomes calm around this topic and I can be really free and enjoy with people without judging me or others. Simply eating and loving. LOVE your sweet kitties❤️🙏 be blessed
I think this question could of been answered better. I understand that you don’t think about what you’re eating but you could of spoken if you wake up and have breakfast straight away or just a cup of tea and have breakfast later on? Do you have 3 meals? Do you snack? Do you have desert. I totally understand that you’re answering in the way that means you’re not caring about what the actual food is but saying it saying it’s 0.5% of your brain space seems like you don’t actually eat much. I think the person asking the question wants to know what a typical day looks like for someone who is recovered. 3 meals, snacks, etc.
I had similar thoughts. But it is her life and I think she is aware of her past and is responsible for her actions. Apart from this it would be encouraging to here from someone like Tabitha ...yes I love food and eat regulary meals through out the day but I gave a shit of the nutritiens because I trust my body to mange it out.... but maybe she wants to challenge us to be free from others😉
@@marie-kristinkrohn5008 I think that’s spot on. Definitely not telling the whole truth here, but I can’t really fault her for it. As frustrating as it is, I think she knows that the only thing that would come out of her quantifying her eating is absolutely vicious comparison from 90% of her viewers. There’s no point.
You may find Tabitha's video titled "What Is Eating Like Now?" more informative (it's from a few years ago): ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-UDdbODy5N_Q.html
