Join our Recovery Library and gain access to 3,000+ expert resources: www.affairreco... Samuel shares helpful insight into do's and don'ts for attempting to woo your spouse back.
This was great, thanks, I've been looking for "what do i do when my wife wants a divorce" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my friend got amazing success with it.
I feel you!! I can't help but chuckle out of deep understanding from what you said. I'm tired of doing all the wooing! I guess he doesn't speak my love language and vice versa but all I need is a sincere apology and empathy instead of him getting angry when I try to bring it up
I love this series. I'm not in a relationship that has been tainted by an affair (thankfully!) but I feel like the lessons are extremely valuable all the same. Expectation constantly ruins good things. Giving without expecting anything in return is better, not only for them but for you. Because you have achieved your goal regardless of the reciprocation. You can feel good about yourself for making the effort, rather than being subject to your loved one's mood. And if they do give you praise and appreciation, it just makes it that much sweeter.
I realize I'm commenting on an old post and this won't be seen. I'm the betrayed husband and I never felt "woo'd" by her. How could she woo me back after a sexless marriage where she convinced me that sex isn't important to her; Just for her to have a long term affair? She says she loves me, but doesn't show me the passion and desire she had for her AP. How does a woman "woo" her husband after that kind of betrayal?
My wife (the betrayed)didn't want to observe yesterday (our 27th anniversary) as of a month ago. But she surprised me with a video call and we had a really nice conversation, really just priceless. Maybe I am showing her I want to be with her and do the work. I do know that I want to go all the way to being hers again. Don't give up!
My husband started buying me all kinds of stuff. Smh I remember I felt like he was groveling at my feet. I had shut him out. I would go from raging out on him to days of silence and just ignoring him. The first few weeks were the worst. I was so in shock by what had happened.
Bottom line is, if your heart is not in the right place, your doing it for selfish reasons or with any type expectation dont bother. Not only will she see right through it but I think it shows where you are in the process. I say this because I've done it as well, mainly because I was lonely. But like you've said Samual, we gotta buck up and put our big boy pants on, the same ones we had on when we thought it was a good idea to have an affair and take our medicine. The solution is just be genuine, kind and loving and if it gets thrown back at you just take it and move on. It's hard but just take it and don't respond and move forward
those situations happen frequently... it's ok, it's very normal. connecting and communicating about it is what's key to moving forward after things like that.. i'm sorry it went that way.
I’m the betrayed and I feel as if I’m the one trying to whoo her back. She has done every right in trying to regain my trust and she has shown how deeply she is hurt from what she did, so why do I still feel as if I have to win her back even though she is trying so hard for me not to feel this way?
hi chevie...it could be a couple things. 1. maybe you're dealing with codependence and need to address that professionally and you're feeling as though you're the reason she cheated? ((which isn't right but maybe you feel that way)) 2. maybe you're experiencing some guilt that you need to work through and you're unaware of it? it's something you definitely need to get help for so you can understand it though my friend.
My ex gave me a second chance after I cheated..I made more mistakes by not making her feel appreciated enough. She ended things. I feel terrible what should I do??
i'm so sorry brandon. i would focus on your own healing and your own next steps. it's vital you take care of you: from forgiving yourself, to healing areas that need to be healed, to even finding out why maybe you didn't do the work you needed to do. get expert help and heal my friend.
My husband won't even enter a conversation, never mind anything else. I find myself walking on egg shells like I was the one who did the wrongs, or I have no right to be hurt. He makes zero effort to make anything more bearable.
I betrayed my wife and I would like to give her space and id like to do therapy or anything been married 10 years and I feel like this may be the end but it seems like the more space and time I give her the worse it gets ... Help please
You have to talk to women. Space actually makes it so much worse. It’s like you don’t care. It’s as emotionally painful ( not talking about issues) for a woman as being physically hurt.
I had an affair on my partner of 7 years 2 kids.. she found out a week ago, all I want to do is fix it and hope she doesn't move on and will give me another chance but it's so fresh that it's hard to find the positive
Why did you do it? Do you realize how bad it hurts? And you hurt her over sex. Why? I don't understand man. It is evil. True evil to do that to someone.
I have also cheated on my partner. It was wrong and stupid; but you're not the first and you won't be the last. I wish you the best of luck; you will not be able to control her decisions. I hope you are remorseful and are trying your best to realize how much you have hurt your partner. I know I have; it has not been the first time she has been betrayed either. What I did was evil; I need to fix myself. I hope everything works out in the end for you, Mr. Sarginson.
My ex found out about an online affair I was having. The girl that I was having an affair with contacted my ex and apparently showed her everything. My ex has since blocked me and stopped all communication with me. I am devastated and shattered as I still deeply and truly love my ex. It has been exactly two weeks since she found out about the affair. How do I make this right? I am desperate for answers :(
i'm not sure you can make it right my friend. it may be time to give the process time and work on you and your own healing. it may also be time to let the ex go a bit and giver the ex space.
commit to bettering yourself as best you can. give them space, but perhaps as you're doing work they will open up to the possibility of reconnecting slowly but surely?
it's tough when this happens....i would take that as a bit of a message that i need to give them space, work on me, work on my own healing and finding out why i did what i did. it's vital you care for yourself and do your work or else you'll miss the opportunity to focus on you and communicate to your betrayed that you'll only work on the marriage for them and not because it's the right thing to do.