@@renealexander2703 nah, no need to limit yourself. and i understand where he's coming from. dating straight women means you are being seen as a man 100%. bi women, you may always have a bit of doubt, not because you dont trust them but due to your own dysphoria. it's hard to explain & it varies from man to man, but bi women are not the solution for us.
Colton, I have ran into the same problem with a girl I was going out with. I met her in person and didn't disclose I was trans until we went out closer to two months for the same reason and it didn't workout after I came out. Same thing happened she just distanced herself after I told her. I have had more luck meeting girls in person, as opposed to online dating. I have also encountered the problem of not knowing when to tell a girl I am trans. I feel like the sooner the better for everyone involved. You're not alone man, going through the same thing. Just enjoying the single life, and taking care of yourself is the best we can do! Cheers!
Zac Coletta yeah its such a tough thing to navigate...just trying to take it day by day with the whole dating thing, but it can definitely feel defeating at times. Thanks for dropping a comment. Its nice to know im not the only one dealing with this haha 🙌🏼
@vl2 baby you shouldn't try tell people what they are or aren't. He's a guy and he will always be a guy no matter how it triggers you. If being trans was a choice then why would we go through this bs of dating? 🤔
@vl2 Your very misinformed on trans people. Either read up or go home. Though I'll share the facts. Being trans isn't a choice. Transitioning is a choice sure. There isn't anything stopping a cis person from transitioning though it usually results in wanting to transition back as that isn't their gender identity. The whole reason cis people detransition is how trans people feel in transitioning. Also there aren't loads of prople detransitioning either. Their a minority of a minority you've clearly ignored. Please don't be picky with facts. Also conned by who? Who do you think is behind this secretive trans agenda? Jeeze. Honestly, cis people like you sre the ones eith an agenda. Conning people into thinking trams people are monsters for wanting to be who we are. Why does it bother you so much what our chromosomes are? Have you even seen yours? lmao.
@vl2 You still don't know what your talking about. Though your wrong on everything you assumed about me lmao. If you have sources to back your reasoning I'd love to see. I've got plenty of scientific proof for trans people if you want to see mine aswell.
I've found for me the 'sweet spot' in disclosing is between being real friends and seeing obvious signs of mutual attraction. It's still a risk in the sense that maybe you disclose to the wrong kind of person and they try to humiliate you(and if you really chose wrong, kill you) but the most common worst case scenario is they either ghost you or they categorize you as 'just a friend'. A thick skin and lack of neediness is a necessary component, of course
I’ve dated a few straight women. I was always upfront about me being trans. I just don’t really care for dating straight women. I’d rather be with someone who sees the world the way I do. My girl and I are both bi. It works out for me at least. But I hope you find you a girl who loves you for you. Good luck brother.
I thank you for telling your story time. I’m someone who likes a guy that I’ve known for a few months but never told him do to us working together. I don’t date people I work with. Now that we don’t work together he gave me his IG name to add him. I saw he was FTM. I didn’t mind beside he is so fine, kind hearted, and finds positivity in all he does. Yes this is new for me a but I still see him as the same guy I have always seen him as. So I asked him out 😊. (He said yes btw) I think being honest up front helps to avoid confusion. Also if she wants to be with you truly and sees you for who you are then be honest up front. It helps save you both time, emotion, and heartache. I truly hope you find the women for you and happiness.
I have yet to be with a girl who hasn’t known from the jump about me like that. Then again it’s only been two years into my transition. I’ve definitely been considering going stealth, but being as open as I am in terms of self expression, I don’t know know if I’ll ever get close to a girl without having her know ASAP. Something about holding that in until the “right time” for me is too difficult
Delilah!!!....I'm So glad you're back!! Been wonderin' about u! The first girl I dated after coming out as trans is the same girl I married 🤣 that was 2 years ago! We met on craigslist!!! Funny the way life is sometimes. 👍looking forward to more videos!!
I just want to ask you a question. If you are a straight guy, why do you only prefer cis women ? And if you do then why do you think straight cis women preferring cis men is problematic ? This is double standard dude. Either both are problematic or both are preferences that doesnt need to be justified or analyzed. If you only are attracted to or date cis women then you have no business complaining about women who prefer cis men. It's a pot, kettle situation here.
Dolna Ray I say multiple times “preference is a thing” lol Love and sexuality is so damn fluid dude its hard to even have a convo about it without opinions flyin all over the place.
@@ColtonRyals My sister, my mother, my cousin and my aunt are all cis woaman and they don´t date trans man. My neighood girlfiend wouldn´t date a trans man. She also wouldn´t because you are white and she only dates blacks cis guys.
There´s being sais I would date a trans man but I don´criticize womam that I mention because they don´t date trans man. Also my neighoood mothers don´t date trans man she only dates biack cis guys like her daugther in law.
The thing is sexuality is based in sex, not gender. Trans people need new words. The old words just don't encompass the nuance. If you want to date people who don't care about that fact, you gotta weed out the ones that do by being upfront. Wasting your time and theirs.
Delilah...I wouldn't think of it as a waste of time. You experienced something that was nice no matter how short lived. It was a good time. At least you are out there.
You should tell them before even going on a date. The vast majority of cis women would want to have romantic partner that they can have a sexual relationship with and they are mostly not sexually attracted to trans men. Some might be, but you will find her earlier if you are disclosing it sooner. I am a cis woman and would feel a bit tricked if i were to be Delilah. I’d fade away too because you can’t change a sexual preference.
@@paloma4444 I understand but that’s just the reality of the situation. I have a disability that makes me “undateable” to a lot of men. It’s not my fault but it does make dating difficult. I disclose that early on too to not trick people into a situation they would never otherwise want to be in.
Dude, no disrespect to you as an individual, but I’ve just watched so many trans activists say that a straight (cis) man having a preference for cis women is transphobic, bigoted, close-minded etc etc. And yet you get a pass because you’re a transgender minority 🤦🏽♀️ I know this vid is two years old but still, I hope you can call out the hypocrisy in your own community.
Hmmm well I’m my own individual…so idk about lumping me into a category like that without even knowing me. Its hard to tell what you meant by that guess… Anyway, Im not sure if you just read my (click bait) title…lol but if you watch the entirety of this video i never once mention anybody is actually transphobic. No one gets “passes” in life either, I think thats bullshit. Lol
i agreed up until you said you don't have to disclose something that important upfront like what if a girl really likes you but trans is a dating preference she doesn't want to be with that's not being transphobic that's just having a preference like i don't want to date bald guys or guys with no beard. That's like saying you don't have to tell someone your HIV positive, come on there is someone for every one but you have to let ppl have a choice.
I know this comment is already 2 years old but still wanted to reply to it. I am a straight woman, I never dated a trans man before and never imagined I would. If I read it on someone's profile I probably would've swiped away. But a couple of weeks ago I met a guy at a festival and we felt instantly drawn to each other. Spent a fantastic evening together and wanted to stay in touch. Only after I got home and scrolled through his Instagram I learned he was a trans man. And somehow it didn't bother me at all - I still feel just as attracted to him and will totally go out with him again. I know, it wouldn't necessarily be like that for everyone, but I personally am glad this piece of info didn't get in the way of me meeting a great and very attractive man. I find it very disrespectful to compare being trans to having an infectious disease.
I think that you should be open and honest with it, right off the bat, because by not saying so shows you are ashamed of yourself, thinking someone won't love you because of it and plus some people can become angry, because maybe they didn't want to date a Transgender Man or Woman for whatever reason and the assumption that they would have judged you without knowing if they would have judged you might hurt the person's feelings as well. I am talking with a guy right now that I found out and he told me on the second day he was and I respect that, I don't mind, I like who I like, I mean they are going to see the scars and if you are missing well you know, I just think it is better to tell them up front and if the judge you on it, they are not your person.
Thank you for sharing! I’m a trans man but I’m attracted to men and masculine people. I am intersex too so technically I was never male or female. I’m open and upfront with my gender identity and sexuality. It sucks that ppl won’t date or talk to you because of your gender identity but I respect ppl choices and preferences. As I have preferences too.
Her loss. I am not straight however I would date a transgender man. I would assume that they are the best of both worlds. Open feee with the capability to communicate what’s not to love? You sir deserve better maybe you need to open up your net to include lesbian or bi women as well
i dont know how to tell u this bro but you picked the losing side if you want to enjoy dating. Being a guy under 30 in the west unless you look like a freakin young brad pitt is a losing game - its a constant struggle
Okay so let me get this straight. You’re allowed to have a preference for cisgender women, but when straight cisgender women have a “preference” for cisgender men that makes them close minded? You’re a selfish hypocrite.
@@BeanBossing But it seems like he's just in it for the p*ssy if you're gonna say that. Like we can preference in what we want without hating other people. You can still support trans people without wanting to date them. Plus, it's hypocritical like the OP said.
Im a transgender man from Philippines. so far i only feel inlove with sys gender women but i'm not saying i I'm not fall inlove with sys gebderman or gay or transgay for me its not about the gender its how you fell inlove with the person.
Sorry for the things I said to you that things hurt. I would date a trans man I love trans man. I also wouldn´t date a trans woman because it´s my preference. You have a preference so do I. We have the same preference.
Hello dear, Firstly you are cute.:)))) I am a supposed cis lady (though as a matter of fact we never really know our real chromosomes unless undergoing genetic testing since naturally born XX men and XY women do exist, too, and there are some things that make me think I may as well be an XY person really instead of the XX one that is typical for most women out there). LOL:D I have to say - for me as a lady who doesnt want to have kids, a trans guy would be an ideal option since you guys are (luckily for me) infertile. So me being with a trans guy I wouldnt have to worry still about becoming pregnant. Though as a matter of fact I kinda suspect I may as well be very likely infertile due to a natural excess of T in my body despite being a woman. As I said I suspect I may be intersex as well. SInce I am not sure it is all about "just a simple" PCOS in my case. It may as well be something deeper, more on the intersex side. Anyways I would be completely ok even knowing I am technically "not a real woman" in the eyes of the society LOL.:) Since I am very open-minded when it comes to these matters. Thats why I have no problem dating a trans man. I even dated a very masculine lady in the recent past - she expressed her desire to become a man one day and I liked it about her very much. I have to admit I am kinda in love with watching all the fascinating changes the T makes in your body - I consider it magical how you are changed physically starting as a sweet crossdressing masculine lady and ending up being a full grown man/guy.:))) I am like wow....LOL:D Anyways unfortunately my relationship with the mentioned masculine lady ended very soon but not because of her wanting to be a trans guy. It was due to completely different reasons - very unfortunate ones - since it came out her character was very flawed and she was basically being paid to gangstalk me along with other very bad people, too. So in short her feelings for me werent genuine at all, she dated me just for profit LOL. Big LOL....Unfortunately thats something that happens to me with quite a lot of folks out there, by far not just the LGBTQI community.....So back to the initial topic LOL:D - I am a woman (even though not really sure of my real chromosomes:)) and I have no problem dating trans guys - as a matter of fact I consider you trans guys very adorable and cute, also fascinating. But I also have to tell you that I am a very unconventional lady, not just due to the fact I may be intersex. I have an unconventional style, as well - in that e.g. I wear short hair, no makeup and very casual or sporty clothing. I also do have a very unconventional character for a woman. Usu ladies like me are highly attracted to trans guys, too. Not just to cis guys. As we are highly intelligent and open-minded. But unfortunately we are often rejected for being unconventional women, sadly by far not just by cis men out there. As it seems most men (whether cis or trans) are quite picky and insist on dating only conventional women in character and looks. LOL. Big LOL. E.g. even the mentioned masculine lady used to evil-eye my natural and unconventional style while I dated her. That being said I know you trans people dont have it easy in love because such highly open-minded and intelligent people (as e.g. me - though I hope Im not sounding too prideful LOL:D) are rare......Both among men and women. Simply the majority of society is sadly neither open-minded nor intelligent enough to accept and date trans people but it doesnt change the fact that you trans people are equally physically cute and spiritually valuable as others out there. Wish you the best cutie pie.:) Im sure the right woman will find you. Just be careful with most people out there. Avoid all the bigoted ones (even though I know from experience its easier said than done LOL). And talk only to those intelligent and open-minded enough to accept and love you in all ways possible. :)))) Greetings from a (supposed) cis lady who would gladly date a trans guy.:) Im not alone for sure. :)
I have a third way for you. Learn to be brutally honest with yourself about whether or not a girl is attracted to you. Ask her if she feels passion for you, look at her and notice if she doesn’t. In fact maybe be more pessimistic. Learn to pick up on cues in women’s faces, voices, body language, is she really eager to spend time with you. Many times I’ve had cismen think I was more into them than I was. Don’t assume that because you think there’s a strong connection she’s feeling that; testosterone may be fueling your optimism too.
you absolutely must be up front about it. it is a must to say something right away.They absolutely have the right to know. It's not about benefiting you, because everything isn't about you. It's about not tricking someone into being in a relationship they would otherwise not wanna be in. That's what you're doing. You're just entitled
@@paloma4444 Lmfao, isn't your Christmas vacation almost over, child? You should be wasting it enjoying your last bits of freedom, not sounding like an absolute illiterate, bitter m0r0n online who makes inaccurate assumptions about people. Next, you'll be insulting Trump thinking it'll hurt my feelings, I'm sure LMFAO 😉
