How I Keep Going In The Face Of Total Apathy And Anhedonia (Apathyception) 

Very sorry for your loss.

Pet loss is so hard. I'm sorry for the loss of your little guy.

💔🐕🌟

So sorry, but great job! ❤👍

My heart dog passed almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t taken that walk. 🥺 I miss her more than words can ever say and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. 💔

Riiiiight!! That constant feeling of exhaustion ...

emu1028 That sounds horrible 😢😢 Anhedonia is such a nightmare. I totally understand being demotivated...feeling unable to do anything

@emu1028 😢that's rough

I’ve been learning about how to get the nutrients I need to help my brain make more serotonin and dopamine… B-6 and Tyrosine with magnesium Taurate to help make the dopamine… which helps me feel more motivated.

Vitamin D3 5,000 mg per day.

I am trying my best to do it that way. The side effects are tough when you try to get off meds if you have been on long term. I don't want to lose the progress I jave made but sometimes I think, "Maybe I should just try another prescription pushed at me". I don't want the meds if I can use tools. Each person is different though and meds can definitely be a life saver to many. Use them if warranted. Wishing you the best in your journey.

It's sad, it used to be different but insurance companies want psychiatrists to source as little time with patients as possible.

Me too.❤

And then there are psychologists that specialize in certain areas. I needed to find one that understood trauma, parental alienation, and addiction. Always make use of those free consultations to make sure there is a fit. It's SO important. Good luck on your healing journey!

Same here. I am trying to get off of them, but dealing with side effects angst, anger and lack of sleep is a bit too much. I've gone through video list on this channel, but couldn't find any specifically about medications... A video on this topic would be nice.

+1 here. Try and focus only on you and being the human you expect others to be.

Listening to Pink Floyd, "Brain Damage" in particular, helps. I've been kicked over and over, lost EVERYTHING 3 TIMES, and am so tired. I used to fight, stand up, and believed that things would get better, yet... I had to quit telling my friends how I feel. It wasn't helping me, or them. Sending you hugs, and hope.

Here too 😢

It's really that building yourself from nothing and losing everything multiple times that really sucks your motivation to do anything cause everything feels pointless when you know you can lose all the effort and materials from your hard work, ultimately making your struggles and sacrifices feel worthless

The world is going to shit. You are not imagining.

I literally have a video called that ❤️

I feel like I've only been surviving for the past 10 or more years. I don't remember the last time I felt alive.

Boo

Yes. but could it be caused by stimulants?

​@@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8btstimulants help me with anxiety because i have adhd

Yes both. You are not alone.

@@jaynegiampietro4134 thanks, nice to know! cold and nervous right now.

I hope you’ll find your light again. I believe in you

I feel you.

We are here for you

I feel like you just described my life. You don't have to get up and fight. You just have to get up. You are a collective wave of energy and sometimes thats all you have to be. Just a wave. Don't think, don't feel, just be. Give up on giving up. It's overrated anyway ❤

I don’t know what to say except every word you typed is my life. My whole broken and wasted life.

Exactly the same. COPD (emphysema) here. I get tired and sleep so much. I haven't left my apartment in over a year except for medical reasons. No friends or nearby family. In 10 years, I've lost both parents, my four closest friends, and my pet of 15 years. Every day is exactly the same and my fatigue is how you mentioned. Best wishes to you. 63 yr old woman with long depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder.

l feel compelled to ask why are you not medicating for depression because it sounds like that would help. I relate! Don't surrender. Talk to your doctor. We all deserve better. ​@@marlenechicoine4005

Yes, the same here. I have a depression that started 2001. I never have had 1 minute break from it, lost my job, friends, family, all my interests.... I am "just" chronically sad, everything is hopeless.

@@marlenechicoine4005you have the same name as my mom. Losing her is part of what kicked this off for me. I might be biased but I think you have the best name in the world.

Felt so numb today I could hardly move. When will this end. I used to be so driven. Time to make a new deal with myself. To start again in the morning. I want to break out of this hell. People are counting on me if I’m being honest.

💜🌷 I'm sorry honey 😢

@@nancyayotte2297 🥲 thank you, good soul. Hugs. ❤️🌹

Whoa - Don't make financial decisions. You got me with that insight.

This is exactly how I survived cyclical depression from my hormonal cycles, before I got medication for it. It was quite helpful! I'm proud of my 23 year old self for figuring out the reason for my depression. And this coping strategy!! 😂

I like that image. It sounds like something a person can traverse (and become more skilled at it), as opposed to being stuck in a pit.

If you do meditate, maybe you should try, when these feelings do come, to practice a whole body awareness. Every feeling is an awareness, and perhaps these episodes keep coming back because you haven't heeded their messages. Gendlin has thought the practice focusing on the 'felt sense'. You should check him out.

@gideonros2705 I'm 58 years old and I've been dealing with these cycles for my entire life. The thing I've learned from age is that there is a cycle to everything. The entirety of nature works in cycles.. everything.. including my body and brain. The key is acceptance of these cycles. Learning to accept and adjust to brain cycles (which are linked to all sorts of other cycles like weather, climate, magnetic field, kp index, food intake, seasons to include light exposure.. the cycles of living on earth are a huge part of my existence and I pay very close attention to how my brain and body react to the ever changing cycles. It helps to know that there is nothing wrong with me or how I meditate, think or feel.. its a part of how life just is.. for me.

That is death by comfort zone. It is short term versus longer term. And even though I am aware of that, I still feel the same about being in bed, like it is the one and only truly safe and peaceful place there is or something. ✌️

I'm SO feeling this

Me

@@stevenkovler5133 yeah

Me

@@pjlee2053 what a sad group...at least we can commiserate with each other

Me

Same. I fucking hate anhedonia. I've had it for almost 6 years. It sucks.

@@colin6673 Sorry to hear. I’ve had it for a little over for years but the last 2 years have been more severe. Do you know what caused yours or has anything helped even a little?

I agree with what you said.

​@@colin6673me too. My beloved husband died Christmas Eve 2017.. .for 2 years all I did was care for him and my mother. Then I had nothing.....

I go through the motions. Not long ago, I told my friend how depressed I am and how I don't care about anything. She was shocked, she said "since WHEN? Your always smiling and talking. " I told her, I only do that the little bit of time I spend with people. I fake it the few hours an months I hang out with friends

The unshakable belief that youll be 'punished' for any progress you make... The belief from past experiences apsect sucks a lot.

Start with making your bed and cleaning your house. You will feel so much better. 👍

Same , and with aging its worse & running out of time.

I’m have a similar presentation. I like the advice to focus on actions when thoughts & feelings start tanking. Stop thinking. You know when you are half listening to someone & their words are not registering? Do that to the critical voice & the feelings. Activate the part of the trifecta, Action, that is most controllable. The 2 min tool- “I will doing my morning things for 2 min.” Do & celebrate the movements that have the least resistance. Being upright, cleaning teeth, having a tea or coffee, even just sit in morning light.

There are times when putting off thoughts & feelings- when maladaptive- can be superpowers.

I understand

Absolutely, well versed x

I relate. You can barely remember the really good days on the endless bad ones. I get the odd good time and it's like all becomes clear. I'm going to do this, I need to do that, and I feel motivated. Then the fog settles on again and can barely even remember how I felt and certainly can't tap into feeling like I can do all the things that might help more.

Thank you for this. The way you said it helps.

I used to watch hoarders to motivate me to clean, or people sharing their WWII stories to remind myself that my life is amazing and I need to suck it up and move on. Only helped marginally... 🤷‍♀️

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Your comment is both insightful and encouraging. Thank you.

@@beverlytaylor1745 - Stay encouraged! It took all my strength to reason with myself against quitting completely, as I woke up this morning. It was not logical. It was purely emotional. Having lived on the edge of collapsing emotions for so long...keeping in "wise mind" is a challenge. It is my only hope to continue.

Thank you, from someone older who can appreciate being in a wiser mind. Godspeed. 🙏

I agree that I don't think that I will ever get totally healed. Recovery was originally a goal of the person who was suffering from a mental health problem in the face of professionals who didn't believe they could. After a while the professionals took recovery over and then the insurance companies got hold of it and recovery became mandatory. I really don't like having recovery shoved down my throat. I'm 77 now and I haven't recovered yet. How much longer am I going to be expected to do that?

Yes, and when I do spend what little energy I can muster on organizing myself for the action, and then I "do it anyway" with no energy left, and it turns out so badly (both process and outcome) that I would have been better off not attempting to do it, that's a problem. I'm open to ideas for solutions!

A good example of this would be when attempting to "do it anyway" results in a MELTDOWN in the middle of trying to do it. 😭

I feel the same disaster waiting to happen I burn things when I cook Make big mess when I try then end up in tears because there is more clean up. Then the cycle carry on the next day its the Same I never make any improvement I'm stuck can't move forward.

@@hasinapatel1233 I am so sorry. I feel your pain. Just came home from a weekend that was supposed to be really fun and I was totally shocked when it was a disaster! (Due to a health issue last Sept., and I keep WAY overestimating my new, limited capabilities.) Thanking the Good Lord that the friend I was staying with totally understood and was completely supportive. I did end up having a catastrophic meltdown when I got to her house. I really, really thought that what I had planned was well within my capabilities. Guess not. VERY thankful this one friend has superhuman compassion.

Me too. 😞

Here as well.but honestly it's also a worth it as people are a holes

Yep.

@@kensurdity3840 people are a holes and the world is hell.

Think it’s partly high ACES.

@@mommaninja51 ACES? What does that mean?

Yes! You got this!!!!

We have to be patient for the turn!🎉

Thanks for the support! 😃

@donflo3 I go to a psychiatrist every month to assess my state of depression & anxiety. He listens and adjusts my antidepressants. He is very nice, and I feel comfortable talking to him. However, I feel much more hopeful watching Scott's video. He has a beautiful gift being able to speak to our hearts.

Omigosh! You are describing exactly what i've been experiencing for the last couple of years. Wow, i'm EXCITED to know i'm not alone. I am gaining weight, energy sucks, I try finding times i will sleep to have the energy to do something like work, housecleaning, blah😢

@cherylbogdan5044 Thank you for your comment. It's helpful for me to hear from you, too. My new problem is mice in my kitchen! The challenges do seem to pile up, laundry, mail, etc, lly in there, and I'll be trying , too. I edited because I was pretending to be cheerful, and it wasn't really how I feel.

​@@cherylbogdan5044Get your thyroid levels checked this is what I have and the symptoms match. I have no motivation to do anything but sit in a chair all day... don't know if thyroid is out of balance as I keep going to Drs for test ...just fed up with being a vegetable 😢... hope you find help..

If possible you should perhaps see a doctor. Carbon dioxide retention is common in COPD and causes all of those symptoms . It can be resolved with BIPAP therapy if its appropriate. I don't know the situation you are in and Obviously it may have nothing to do with that, but if it's something that can be resolved it could well be worth it. I hope you feel better regardless because its awful to live in misery.

@thewickedpixie63 It's amazing to receive such thoughtful feedback. I'm seeing a pulmonologist this month. I have a bi-pap at night, but should wear O2 during the day, and don't. Cleaning is hard (and endless!) so the dust really gets to me. Humidity is not good, though, either! Anyway, on top of depression? Yeah, I really have to make an effort! Thanks again. Best of wishes to you. 😊

Me too, including my pet of 15 years...I understand.

I so agree with your first paragraph. I'm getting to old to enjoy life even if I could find the problem.

Same here, with you! 🙏for us. ( so unbearable).

It's not just your brain chemistry. The vagus nerve and your gut health have a lot to do with it.

😭I'm in it too! The prison!

@@JustVibingFullStop how do you cope. ? I'm really not doing very well... I've called for help, ... but

This.... 🍀🤗🍀✌️

but imho it needs to be a ‚what for‘ (too, at least), in terms of purpose. not only understanding about root causes (as ‚why‘). there needs to be a ‚causa finalis‘ in view, that is.

​@@VaronPlateandoYes, true on all counts, but "why"s and "what for"s don't run far or fast on cold logic, they require the steam of emotional/psychological reward to plot a course, overcome inertia, and create and sustain forward momentum. Cognitive navigational charts and a compass are certainly useful to know how to set the rudder to avoid shoals and hazards, but no water in the boiler and no fire in the furnace leaves a vessel a lifeless hulk, flotsam adrift on a sluggish current in a Sargasso Sea of apathy, or aground on a sullen strand waiting for a turn of the tides, not a drop for a soul to drink nor a twig to ignite to sustain the warmth of the last glowing embers. Chronic conditions of threat, invalidation, and austerity in early life necessitate abandonment of emotional satisfaction from the environment, a co-ocurring dark side of the relief found in flight into the soft light of the inner world. Some of us learned early ( in my case expressed by the age of 9) the Sysiphean futility of extracting value from a resource-poor world in which everyone you meet places all value in hedonic distractions and short-term pleasures, ignoring true worth and honest exchange; paper passions are traded with frantic exuberance while solid substance is dismissed as fraud, leaving the bearer with no currency in a market of limitless aimless pursuits that provide no satisfaction and incessant demands to participate in the never-ending pursuit of delusional riches that leaves the masses impoverished and starved. Why would I choose to pursue such a fruitless reality, and where within it would any reward be derived? Perhaps my perspective seems pessimistic to some, and it certainly is in the sense that overwhelmingly people either refuse to acknowledge or are incapable of grasping the barrenness of the world we have created; but in the acceptance of that awareness lies the only optimism I have seen, that in abandoning the pursuit of the mirage we could instead turn our attentions to a direction that would lead us to the cool oasis we all want desperately. "I hope there's something wrong with me, I hope this isn't how it's supposed to be." -Icon For Hire ... what if it isn't just me?

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I feel like this all the time. I do not know how to feel positive feelings, only negative ones. So, I stay home and in bed. I cannot hold down a job, because I have social anxiety, depression, bipolar 2 and feel I'm not good enough. So, I feel ya.

That's called masking, and it causes depression because you spend so much time being inauthentic.

You have come out of this before?! You can & will again!

I agree.

Keep doing those things you did. You can get those things again. I think of a man who lost everything…wealth, wife, children to a horrific violent crime. He got lots of therapy, kept taking it one step at a time. He is remarried, has children & rebuilt his life. He said one step, one day, one moment at a time. Live in the moment. Appreciate the present. It has a purpose, even if painful. The pain doesn’t have to be the biggest thing forever.

Yes!

If you ever find the silver bullet, let us know. 😊

@@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8bt I think his point is that this is an eternally evolving process, there is no silver bullet, we can only share insight that has helped us. Sorry if this sounded self serving to you, but I was literally amazed I felt better this quickly after a deep trough.

Good way to do things. I try to keep to routine tasks so some basic satisfaction at least in times of despair.x

Nutrition is very important for mental health.I didn't know how much what you eat can affect your mental wellbeing until I explored the so called "carnivore diet" about 6 years ago. Ironically, I became curious about it after learning how (physically) beneficial is was for healing those whose health had been affected to catastrophic extent by a long term vegan diet...(***) The more I researched the physical benefits of the carnivore diet, the more I stumbled on testimonies of individuals who'd experienced huge improvement in their mental health as well. As a sufferer of long term, quite severe depression (as well as grief from losing all my loved ones) I'd nothing to lose so thought it was worth a try. After doing my home work, learning about how the quality of nutrients matters I went carnivore and to my amazement, within just 2 weeks I was already feeling my general mood was much lighter.. Before I started I was already eating OMAD (one meal a day) for a few years and on carnivore it was even easier and enjoying a wide variety of animal based foods including, poultry, (sheep)fish, meat, cheese and other dairy products. While I could thrive off eating this way forever, I slowly started incorporating some carbs in the form of fruit and vegetables simply because I missed them at times. I am a passionate cook and creating some old family favourite recipes at times brings me great joy. As far as my depression goes? It's gone thanks to feeding my body great nutrition. The kind of nutrition plants simply can not provide. For if they may be present in another (plant) form, our body's ability to absorb their nutrition is lacking if not non-existent. (***) Statistics show 85% of vegans quit the vegan diet wishing 5 yrs due to catastrophic health reasons. Sadly some suffer such severe consequences, in some cases do permanent damage (to their intestines a.o) they are physically unable to tolerate ANY plant matter whatsoever. The reason I started looking into this (10 yrs ago) is because I knew a young vegan guy who required a bone marrow transplant after being vegan for 5 yrs. The more I learned about vegetables (and fruit) and their anti-nutrients, oxalates (oxalic acid) etc basically their built in defence against being eaten, the more I realised many of them are far from healthy for us humans. especially in large amounts. The biggest eye opener however was finding out we've been lied to about cholesterol and the so called "dangers" of high cholesterol and its role in repairing damaged arteries, needed for hormone production and balance etc. The fact every cell in our bodies (myelin sheath) requires cholesterol and every organ but especially our brain (latter is made of almost entirely cholesterol) needs it to maintain cell health and protect from damage.... you can begin to understand how infuriating it is to see a plant based diet being pushed on us more than ever.. It comes as no surprise to me to see a sharp rise in neurological ailments/ diseases, as well as fertility problems, Diabetes II, allergies, food intolerance etc. Anyway, sorry for the long post. I'll stop before I start ranting about the criminal known as Ancel Keys who hold a huge responsibility for the creation of "nutritional guidelines" , our governments have adhered to over the past 70 odd years... (just look it up) and continue to do so despite knowing better. Wishing you well! 💜

​@@bow53261000% agree with everything you said. I also went onto a carnivore diet 5 months ago and am completely off antidepressant meds. I actually have motivation to get stuff done which has not been that way in a decade or more. The other life changing step I incorporated is daily dosages of magnesium glycinate (500 mg) and vitamin D3 (10,000 iu).

Love this 💕