@@devilsfavorite999 that attitude is the problem... Society should agree that everybody is entitled to it, just as we are all entitled to food, shelter, education, healthcare
Well I hooked up with an ACTUAL murderer on grindr. Turns out he had murdered someone months before and was close to being caught. A few weeks later after the hookup he was in prison!
@@ConorODwyerExchange phone numbers with gay people that want to go out with you in gay places. Having new friends is good and you might find a relationship in a bigger social circle.
I can barely listen to these stories as it's happened to me and it's terrifying...the loss of control, that feeling of doom that can come over you, the deadening of your body...be careful out there kids.😮😢
Sounds lke you really freaked yourself out. Don't do drugs if your'e not a drug user with tolerance build up. Don''t accept drugs if you aren't in a known safe environment.
Call me old fashioned...but its dangerous enough to meet someone in a bar that you barely know and go home with them, but a complete stranger...who sets a string of rules...you are very lucky you're alive. Is the excitement of the moment really worth the ultimate risk???
Actually , this has become very common in gay culture U meet people through apps and then decide when and where to meet those total strangers So at this point no one is scared anymore
@@Rook-gz5dy C'mon, this was always a thing in gay culture. Back in the 80s people went to cruising spots all the time. Many were murdered or beaten. Usually by homophobic gangs but the point stands that we have always undertaken risky behaviour.
WOW, you weren't kidding when you said you had a very different video for Boxing Day. Yikes! A cautionary tale for us all. Thank God for the happy, safe ending. ❤
You can never be careful enough on grindr, i once had a date in Mexico with a British guy who years after i learned he was prosecuted in a UK court because he was a straight men serial rapist, i was shocked although nothing happened to me, and it was a nice date i felt so guilty because i put my self in risk and i was naive, i was 24 back then. I have friends who were also drugged and robbed during grindr dates or suffered stealthing. I left grindr two years ago and i would never go back there
Doing random and anonymous hookups are something I went through for a while because I was in such desperate need of validation. I did some really stupid and dangerous stuff back then. I let one random guy who I didn’t even know looked like pick me up at 3am and take me to the middle of nowhere in the woods to have his way with me. Not smart
I cringe when I think of the dumb risky behavior I did. And a couple of times I was attacked. And a couple of times I got away when I got strong vibes something was not right.
@@Landshark2020 I’m falling back into those ways and honestly don’t care what happens anymore. I have a boyfriend but are probably just going to break it off and go into self destruct mode. I’m honestly so done
As an older Irish gay man living in the U.K. 22 years, I refuse on principle to use Grindr or any other gay “dating” apps or websites, as I’m not into the gay “hookup” culture, which since my teens in the 1980’s I frankly find terrifying - besides, it’s a very poor way to relate to other people, as I do not believe that one can build meaningful friendships via casual sexual encounters - I don’t even go cottaging nor cruising nor to gay saunas, as sex is not the “be all and end all” to being gay
I've done some risky things, but then I was young, and my hormones were raging. I'm lucky I'm here today talking about it. On top of all that this was pre-AIDS...so all you had to deal with was STD's and again lucky for me...I got none of them. What saved me was finding Joe...there is no question about that.
@@Timeless80 I consider my not being really accepted within the gay community in my teens in the 80’s because of my Vatican II Catholic background and of being considered an outsider a blessing in disguise, as looking from the outside in, I was able to observe what was really happening about which I was not really fooled, as I was also guided by feedback from older gay men of my grandparents generation at that time who were totally opposed to what they were seeing, because in those days as it is now, the truth was and still is really important to me, as I found Vatican II full of hypocrisy, as I also found within the gay community - I returned to my family and to my Vatican II Catholic faith 18 years ago after prompting and encouragement from my Muslim friends whom I was fully out as gay to and eventually, after seeing the horrific changes to Vatican II since I’d left, I returned to the Traditional Catholic Faith and to the Traditional Mass in Latin which also led to my becoming an Irish Patriot, also keeping in touch what was happening in our world, the most heartbreaking aspects of which was happening to children during Covid - during Lockdown, I’d taught myself to pray the Rosary in Latin and I started to move away from Vatican II ever more
I'm a demi/bisexual guy and the entire hookup culture is like an alien planet to me. I can't even begin to fathom why people do it at all. It looks like a horror show to me. 🤷 But almost everyone does this one way or another. I'm in a vanishingly small minority. And these days even if you're not into hookups you need to be on some dating app to meet people. There is no alternative.
@@mikicerise6250 these people are their own worst enemies - by their own behaviour they are setting the gay community back decades in terms of rights and equality and quite rightly, straights are still homophobic and even more so in Muslim cultures for example - I come from a background in the 1970’s and 1980’s in Catholic Rural Ireland where it was the ultimate taboo to even talk about anything that even remotely nor indirectly hinted at any references to being gay, where even in the traditional Irish Catholic culture, even the gay orientation was itself regarded as sinful, just as gay sexual acts were illegal in Ireland at that time and rightly so - in our modern times we have went way too far in the opposite direction
No, the real moral of this story is: NEVER associate a drug with alcohol ! There are so much people in deep trouble in hospitals because of that. You're lucky !
What a great story! Thanks. On a side note, I was having anxiety before my doctor appt today (because it's hard for me to leave the house), and your video helped lower those nervous feelings tremendously. Thanks! :-)
I've met great people on grindr, even friends who I met there. There's the bad side of it too. The best thing to do is use discernment and chat with the person until you get the right feel. Sorry this happened to you. I've definitely put myself in unsafe situations in my younger years and caught some things. It all comes down to wanting intimacy and connection even for a few minutes. Unfortunately not many gays want commitment nowadays. Sad. Worried for the aging men who won't have the family to take care of them when old. That's my concern at least.
I haven’t read any comments before writing this. So I might be doubling up on some things. First of all: how brave and open of you to recount this on RU-vid. Thank you very much! My experiences on the apps are all positive, but I have been in situations where it might have gone the wrong way. And wow, some of them were highly exciting and satisfying! I don’t know if that was to my merit or just luck, but I agree with you: have fun, be cautious, and make sure you know where you are going, and that someone else knows where you are going.
The true moral of the story is that you don’t go to a complete stranger’s house in a strange place, strip off, and take drugs! Wtf!?!? Do you have a death wish?
NEVER go to strangers without witnesses. And you should have called the cops. You're gonna look like shit when this guy kills someone and the only thing you will be able to say is "I managed to escape him."
I have wondered how close I came to being assaulted or murdered on one night stands. Unfortunately it was very rare I got to have a meeting, twenty to thirty years ago when I was active/seeking it, but perhaps fate prevented me from getting HIV, etc.
The internet has taken over everything. We used to go out to the bars to drink and dance. And you could meet someone face to face. Then you decide what you want to do. If you are meeting on an app I think the best thing to do is to meet in a public place of some sort and take it from there. I never had a third party to tell where I was going and things worked out.
The first half of this sounds like my first experience with weed. The guy had cookies that his sister had made which were a bit more potent than anticipated and my symptoms match your description. Thankfully the guy was fairly good about making sure I was okay though. I think he had more of a tolerance but was still not expecting them to be quite so strong.
Well told story. This sounds like a storyline from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I think many inexplicable crimes start from these dating sites. Russian roulette. I miss the old days where you meet in a pub, read body language and trust your intuition. Glad you survived to tell the story.
While anonymous hook ups can be erotic in theory. They’re dangerous. Mixing drugs into the situation either by you (who doesn’t use drugs) or a drug user adds another level of uncertainty. I think many times ppl make poor decisions when they’re horny or impaired. Maybe if you’re into anonymous sex try it in a more controlled environment like a bath house. Glad you’re safe.
If you lose your "control" of your situation....Anything can happen. You were VERY lucky (this time). Knowing you don't smoke weed or anything else....that was a shock to your system. It's no wonder panic set in. No doubt your heart was racing. I think we all have had a situation like that, I did and it wasn't comforting to me. What got the hair on my arms standing up hearing your story was his mysterious approach to you coming over. He didn't want you to see him until the affects of the joint kicked in. No telling what was his "motives" here, but he saw the panic in you and backed off....how lucky were you ? I will admit I put myself in situations like that more than once....I was playing Russian roulette with my life and I STOPPED that from ever happening to me again.
Sounds like you had a Catholic panic attack. Grindr is scary enough and you smoked weed while already scared. Naturally, the weed intensified what you were already manifesting. I almost think that in Ireland, Grindr is the best chance of a good time. But I don’t know since I never visited. But I do know how Catholic it is there. Hopefully, by now, 8 months later, you made a choice that worked for you. Or do you need to move somewhere you can relax.
The “weed” they sell in the street is often times spiked with chemicals. It’s horribly different from good quality natural weed. The guy could have just offered you something he bought for cheap. This is so risky though - first of all from the health perspective.
Ive never been on a dating site. Im recently single after 26 year relationship. Seems like dating is a whole new world now. When i was dating in the 80's&90's it was all in person chance meeting. Now its all meeting online which ive never tried before. Feels strange
To be honest, it can happen no matter whether an app is involved or not.. I'm so glad nothing more serious happened to you. Also, I guess most of us have made some stupid mistake at some point just because we were too horny. I remember once I was so focused on trying to hook up with my crush that I totally forgot I was supposed to be home by midnight to let my flatmate in - she was arriving really late and didn't have her keys yet. The poor girl was unable to contact me and had to look for another place to spend the night.
Grindr has got really shi*t crowd. Dating in gay community is horrifying. Catfishing, party and play, STIs, emotionally unavailable men just to name a few
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you’re okay. You seem like a sweet handsome man! People can be so scary out there. I don’t use Grindr anymore. I prefer Scruff. Community is a bit more varied and generally positive. Looking forward to Edinburgh in May!
Going into a stranger's apartment is complete madness. Meet the guy at a public place first, and don't ever do drugs or alcohol on a first sex date. People are getting seriously harmed out there. Take care of yourself! 😎🖤👍
Sure you didn't overdo it with the pupperz... IDK if you can lace joints like that but pupperz can cause low blood pressure dizzeness not 100% harmless and effect smooth muscle which is why they help a bottom. They are much more active than you think. He sounded really sketchy either way i would worry more about getting bacteria etc. Getting winded going up 3 flights, being tall?, Combined with originally a heart medication .... bam! the dude still should have been nice tho
Be careful in bars too. 10 years ago, I was in a club in Prague, Czechia ("Termix") with a French friend. Long story short, he suddenly left the club all weirdly. The next day, his boyfriend told me that the French guy was clearly coming down from some drug, so we assumed his drink had been spiked. One week later, I was in a different club with the same French friend and a Slovak friend. The French guy was at the bar, the Slovak in the toilet and I was dancing alone. A guy approached me, chatted for a bit, but disappeared when my friends reappeared. We carried on drinking and dancing. 20 mins later, I started feeling really weird, like I was going to pass out. I staggered to the corridor where there were some seats. I sat down and the guy appeared again. He started rubbing my back and repeating "it's all in your head" in my ear. Somehow, I forced myself up and into the toilets. I put fingers down my throat and vomited, then I quickly drank some water and vomited that too. Then I went straight to the dance floor and grabbed my Slovak friend's hand and said, "I've been drugged". He checked my eyes and immediately started helping me toward the exit. Once outside, he took me to another friend's flat and that friend kept an eye on me all night. I was shaking all night. It occurred to me in the morning that when the French guy had been drugged, I had bought the drinks, I had put them down on the table and I had been approached by the same guy earlier in the evening. My friend wasn't the target that night, I was! It was like that guy had hunted me. I never went to a club again, despite living in Prague.
My advice: don’t date online AT ALL. The way this world is going … it is already dangerous to meet unknown people in a bar, imaging online where you don’t even see if they are real. At least in person is easier to detect red flags.
Be careful! Seriously you were given something else Bud doesn't paralyze maybe some indica can cause sleepiness but not drowsiness. You should have been able to think. Glad you lived, stay alive and be careful around strangers. They may be a stranger to you, but they might know more about you than you think. Stay Safe.
Tbf I had a similar reaction the first time I smoked weed. Like it was just with friends and my whole body went numb and I was disoriented. I have a similar experience every time I smoked weed, just doesn't agree with me. Have you smoked since?
I dunno, it could be either way. If you’ve never done marijuana before, and this was literally your first time smoking it, this *could* have just been a paranoid reaction to marijuana, and not actually a sign of anything spiked. Paranoia is the reason why a lot of people don’t smoke it. Not everyone gets paranoia from it though. I’ve only ever gotten paranoid once when I did a bong. Whenever I smoke it otherwise, it’s a joint or a spliff, and I get a pleasant, drowsy and hilarious feeling and yes, time does seem to slow down and feel heavy. So it *could* be that pot isn’t for you, and you are susceptible to have a reaction to it. Then again, I can’t rule out that you might have been spiked. It could have been either one. And I don’t want to gaslight you into thinking pot is just not for you. It really *could* have been that you were spiked.
Just running this through: he was shocked you asked him, he left (shitty thing to do to someone who's obviously in trouble, yes) but you were already with him so he didn't need to spike you for that...I dunno, maybe just a strong reaction to the spliff? Still terrifying though...
My experience with weed was the same except for the arm numbness, everything else tho yes. Difficulty trying to focus, impaired movement, paranoia. Edibles are even worse for me. Weed is definitely not for me.
I hate weed. That is exactly how it affects me too. It sounds so awesome to just have a mellow, bit for me its losing control of my body and a thousand cars crashing in my head the whole time. Nope
rewatched. I think the guy was legit, and he was disappointed, angry, it wasn't gonna happen. It was just very strong weed. I had a buddy who smoked every day, all day, and he wanted me to share, like a drinking buddy. Two tokes on that industrial strength stuff he smoked laid me out on the floor...don't underestimate the tolerance difference between a serious smoker and a newbie
I enjoyed your story despite it being quite scary. I am glad that you are okay. I wonder sometimes if the apps are worth it. Give me old fashioned dating any day, but, it never happens, so… 📱
this is just my opinion, first you said that you didn't like the first person because the photos weren't the same as how they looked now and then you go on an almost anonymous date with a person who is doing drugs, marijuana and you haven't been able to see their face, I think that more out of curiosity it's fetishism and apart from that you still start telling people that they're not your type or that you regret having gone to their house before wanting to learn or explore something different, first inform yourself and if you've already gone to the person's house use a condom and also you shouldn't penetrate in order to have sex, just play in bed if you don't like the person but you are contradicting yourself in many things, this is just my point of view and it is the way I am seeing your life and nothing more, don't be offended!😢
Understanding the gay community, in a large part, has moved online, I note that there are 8 billion people on the planet. Most people in this generation got "plugged in," they wear headphones walking down the street (and bump into people.) I say Hi to people, in a business setting or social gathering make conversation and hand out business cards. It is important for me to meet people face to face. The band Badfinger wrote "Perfection" with the line about "successful conversation." It seems to me that people in 2024 have lost the art of conversation. Swipe left or right, whatever that is? I've heard it, but I won't do it. Grindr? Nothing more than a pick up bar (or a rest stop) and kind of creepy for those of us who like to interact with a breathing human and not order sex up like it is off of a pizza menu. Too plastic, and strangers too interested in body parts when it is more valuable to see how people hold themselves, how they talk, how they act. Hey look, I'm happy with my life and if you are happy with your life, so be it. But 8 billion people, and a lot less talking face to face because of headphones and other reasons. There is a better way
Yes I applause the bravery, but it does get scary sometimes, the guy i met- i didnt like him in person, he was using pics from at least a decade ago, he looked like a complete ruin in person. I played cool and polite, pretended like im interested in small talk, then I said its getting late im actually really tired so im just gona go, I have that flight early. He said, oh can I at least have a pic of your d..? I laughed it off and went towards the door deflecting by saying its a nice apartment (which was far from that), I tried to open the door, they couldn’t open, here he was behind me, in those moments my heart dropped, panic started, and i thought ok this is the moment where I get kidnapped or trapped in the basement or something. But the reality was, the doorknob was old so it needed a little nudge which he did and the door opened. it was so scary, but like you said, the freedom you feel after that, its like, you avoided an direct car crash last minute. Thankfully there are more positive experiences from grindr and lot of fun
Not to mention this was still in the pandemic, I can only think that the entire totality of what you did was incredibly self-destructive, self-harming behavior. I think you should definitely get some counseling about this.
Hold up. You literally accepted and used drugs you’d never used before from a stranger BEFORE YOU EVEN MET said stranger? The fact that you can tell this story without being extremely embarrassed shows that you may not have learnt your lesson.
Dumb. Sounds like a hilarious story doesn't it? You're all smiley and giggly so apparently it wasn't that bad. But you were committed right? And you know once you're committed you definitely can't change your mind especially if your intuition's telling you something different....buuuut you're committed. So dumb.
![How I Nearly Died at a Grindr Hookup [CC]](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
