how it felt to lose my anorexic body 

can't imagine how hard this must've been for you, but I don't think there are enough words to describe how proud all of us are. your body is your only home and I'm sure that it's thanking you everyday for fighting for it, love you

this is EXACTLY what i needed today. I’ve been looking at old pictures comparing them to my healthy body and upsetting myself. Thank you Ro, you inspire me so much ❤️❤️

I was in a relapse when I first found your channel and it kept me from going back into full blown eating disorder

i recently gained so much weight, more than i actually needed to “be healthy” and it has been so fucking hard. my whole wardrobe i built and all my favorite clothes stopped fitting me and i never hated myself so much as i do now. what i wanted to say is that this video came just in the right time. thank you so much for being so amazing

I have never had disordered eating or an eating disorder but I want to say thank you so much for letting people go on this journey with you it was more educational than ANY OTHER anorexia related content I have ever seen and I studied undergraduate and masters psychology where these topics were brought up over and over. I really hope school and universities can make use of this content one day because it may actually help the general public understand one of the most dangerous and poorly understood diseases of mental health.

The difference between the you at the start of your journey and now is so noticeable! You have so much more light and emotion in your eyes, it’s wonderful to see that you got your life back. Thank you for reminding thousands of their worth

i’ve never needed to hear these pieces of information more in my life. i’ve recently gone ‘all in’, and i’m weight restoring. i’m so much happier than i ever was deep in my eating disorder. i do my makeup everyday to feel and look pretty, i can finally return to sixth form, i spend time with my friends more, i don’t argue with my family anymore, i don’t hate my body, i wear clothes i truly want to. thank you so much for helping me see light again💗i found your channel deep in my ed and it made me realise how much anorexia takes away from us. thank you ro x

'unwell me was never really me, I was just a shell of a person' wow - this hit me so hard thank you so much for being so brave and making this video. it has helped me beyond what I could have imagined and the way you describe things is exactly how I feel and really helped me put things in perspective. i have so much love and admiration for you. thank you ro!!!

things that helped and still are helping me recover: -not weighting myself. like ever. i honestly think i will never willingly weight myself and it's great -deleting all of my bodychecking photos -deleting all of my diet and exercise apps, (it was hard, but worth it) -wearing baggy clothes (i only recently started to wear other clothes) -watching body positivity content (helped me especially at the beginning) -eating with big spoon again (LIFE CHANGING AND MADE ME SO HAPPY SERIOUSLY), big plates too -watching "what i eat in a day" (with normal eating habits ofc) and copy these peoples meals -not looking at my body -finding a friend to recover with (dont send each other triggering things) -wearing clothes that i like and that are my style -not trying on old clothes. clothes are supposed to fit me, i am not supposed to fit in these jeans. it's problem with the jeans, not with my size. -watching videos while eating to disctract myself -not checking calories. i honestly already forgot how many calories most of the food i ate has. -deleting my youtube, instagram and tumblr accs, where i used to watch ed content -ending my relationships with people who i used to talk about ed and who weren't willing to recover -ending friendships with "friends" who would trigger me by any way (comments on what i eat, how i look like, my weight, anything) -never giving up, even if i can't eat enough today, there's always another day tommorow -take it slow. it will take time, it's worth it tho. your life if worth it you got it, it's hard, but it is worth it. you are worth it :))

i’ve had early intervention so it’s really difficult for me to recover because i’ve never been to a ‘hospitalisation’ sort of underweight. i’ve always compared myself to other people on social media who’re recovering from anorexia. it’s really held me back in recovery as when i look for people who are in ED recovery they talk about their low weights and hospitalisation. you’re one of the only/ very few channels that i am able to watch bc of your non-triggering content so thank you so much

Thank you for never trigger me. For never talk about numbers, sizes, showing pictures and for always talk so neutral about weight/weight gain. I have gained a lot of weight but I have some way left and it is so hard. Thank you for occurring me to complete it and for motivate by showing your life outside your ed. (Also, your eyes !! Wow, they are so much brighter and are full of light!)

you always know what i need oh my gosh 😭😭 i’m weight restored and have been for a few months but heading into summer and wearing “revealing” clothes is making me notice it more. trying to focus on the positives of feeling strong, being able to spend time with friends, but i’m glad you’re talking about this

Im so glad youre here, you've fought so hard and now you're helping us keep fighting. Ilysm Ro thank you for everything

Dear Ro, I’m a thirteen year old girl. I’ve been struggling with an Ed since June of last year. I’ve been in recovery for a couple of months. Unfortunately I haven’t gained the weight I should, because just recently I did give up working out. But I still struggle with letting my body rest, and I still move around a lot. It’s hard, when you’re fighting your mind. The one thing that’s supposed to side with you. So recovery has been hard. But watching you has been helpful. It makes me feel better that I’m not alone in this journey. Because it can be so lonely, and isolating. But I want to thank you for sharing your story, so other people like me, can watch your videos for comfort. Because truly it’s comforting to watch someone grow, and heal. It’s makes you want to heal yourself! So thank you!

already crying just reading the title 🥺 so so proud of you. thank you for saving so many of us❤️

i relate sm to everything in this video. honestly, you are so articulate and in my opinion would make an excellent healthcare professional if you choose to go down that route! healthcare needs more ppl like you

I feel so validated when people say those who struggle with this sort of mindset and restriction are not all underweight or deathly thin. even though I am underweight- I still perceive myself as fat which is why I feel like I’m not “sick enough” because I’m not even “skinny”. in recovery, Ive been getting closer to a healthy bmi every day. I feel terrible about it, and I feel like I’m still not valid. that’s what I really need to hear- that my issues are valid. it seems like a lot of people who go through this worry about the same things- not being sick enough or not being thin enough to have the issue. people with this mindset still struggle every day, no matter the shape, size, or wellness. whether in recovery or not. you have inspired me to embrace recovery, even if I have to fake it ‘til I make it!

I loved hearing this so much! I am dealing with extreme hunger and anxiety around the hunger and this made me feel less stressed about it.

This made me so emotional in a good way i’ve watched you through all of your journey that you’ve shared with us! You are glowing Ro, and you deserve it💜

i am so freaking proud of you and everybody who is fighting everyday

i’m so proud of you you’re such a big inspiration for my recovery

your videos have helped me immensely, your honesty and genuineness are inspiring and encouraging! from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing your journey with us 💗

So proud of you and seeing the progress you’ve made for yourself. Your journey has helped me pursue recovery & food/mental freedom. Keep doing you

You’ve helped me so much and helped me choose recovery! I’m so proud of you and you inspire me so much♥️. You are such a beautiful soul.

Thank you so much Ro for opening up like this. I can’t imagine how incredibly difficult this must have been, but I just want to say that your courage to create this video is going to help so many others. I’m so grateful for your videos - I truly cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for me and so many others

The most wholesome video ever. So proud of your journey. You’re an inspiration.

its great seeing you happier! that’s an amazing story! thank you for sharing it!

i fully relate to all of these phases. thank you so much for voicing this topic, i realize i am not alone in in this journey

The way you talk is so soothing! I‘m so happy you‘re now feeling so much better. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 😊

i am so so grateful for everything you do for me everyday, and i feel such happiness and pride when i see what you achieved ro

Tysm for making us in ed recovery see the light again We re So proud of u Ily❤️

A focking legend reflects on her battle! I will never forget seeing you looking stone terrified and still raising the fork again and again. Absolutley MIGHTY. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Really needed to hear this. I'm in a similar stage in life right now. Thank you Ro! That helps a lot xx You are such a source of strength and inspiration!

choosing to get my life back is the best decision i've ever made and i resonate sm with what you're saying. also i want to say that i'm so proud of how far you've come ❤️

Thank you so much for this video, you really saved me! I just started all in recovery and it‘s hard, but your words are helping so much. Ro, you are such a role model for me, thank you!

Currently having a hard day mentally with recovery and to hear your voice is so reassuring, thank you so much. Going to enjoy my tea now without guilt

going through the weight restoration process right now and this video is so helpful!! ro i thank you deeply for everything you do

This is honestly one of the most helpful videos I've ever seen. Thank you! xx

Your first ever video is right below this one and omg, the difference is mindblowing! Everything about you is so much healthier! As someone who's 6 months months recovery, it gives me so much hope and inspiration❤

Thank you. Thank you so much. I've been dealing with an ED for years. I really appreciate you being so open and honest about what you've been going through It's helped me be okay with recovering.

you're such a beautiful girl

This was such an important message. Thank you Ro. You're so strong

I just have to say that you are absolutely amazing! The way that you talk about your struggles without being invalidating or triggering is what all influencers within the ED community should try to achive. I love your videos, you are beautiful inside and out. Wish you all the best

I’m a teenage girl who just started my anorexia recovery journey, and I relate to all of the things you’ve said.. this really is so hard but I know it’s for the best and I’ll be so much more free and happy after. you have helped so me so much and I just wanted to say thank you (:❤❤

This video is amazing. I love how detailed and authentic you are. I really appreciate that you emphaiszed that we can't heal emotionally without healing physically. Thank you for sharing, I know you are helping many people.

I’m se happy that you’re happy whit yourself now, that’s the most important part of all the recovery 💕💕💕

"You are not meant to fit in your clothes; your clothes are meant to fit you." 💯 So many insightful things you said in this video that helps me reframe my mindset. You are so very smart and beautiful 💜

This helped me so much Ro. I'm in absolute awe of how far you've come and how much you've grown as a person. You're going to do amazing things in the future and you've done so much for some many of us already. Proud of you always x

I needed to hear this way more than I thought! Those therapy sessions sound so awful!! You are so so strong to face that week in week out. Thank you for this video, your love, hard work, support and compassion. You are a queeen!

I’m proud of how far you’ve come.

Hi Ro! thank you so much for your channel and your honesty and kindness! I began watching your channel when I was in a much worse place mentally and physically but I refused to believe i had a true problem. Watching your videos and hearing you speak about your experiences really helps me feel less alone and you are one of the reasons I chose to seek professional help! Recently I had been feeling so so down about my own body and the ways it’s changed so hearing you talk about your own journey gives me comfort and hope! Our bodies are our homes and my home is so much more colorful, bright, and warm now than it was before! Thank you again for being your lovely self and sharing things that can’t be easy to share!

I’ve been following you since January last year, when you posted your 19th birthday tiktok. I’m so incredibly proud of u and how far you’ve come and how different your mindset is now ❤️❤️

You sure did save your own life, beautiful!!! You are so MENTALLY strong, it’s beautiful to see how far you’ve come.

i’m going through recovery right now and i’m in the stage when my body dismorfia is tell me that i look bigger and ugly, when i’m reality is just my mind playing games, so you have no idea how much i needed this video, thank u so much, you inspire me everyday to keep going in recovery

I’m a psychology student and your videos are even helpful for me. I’ve learnt so much about anorexia and how I can better understand those going through it and be of help to them. Thank you so much for these videos Ro - you should honestly be so proud of yourself. I genuinely mean it when I say you are an inspiration for so many. Keep fighting and beating this cruel disease 💪🏽❤️

I just want to say thank you Ro. We have both started recovery at the same time ; i was admitted in a psych yard bc of anorexia and i decided to go all in, thats when i discovered you. You helped me so much, i felt like i had someone i could rely on, someone that understands what it feels like, someone to eat with through your video when i was alone etc. Now, i am weight restored and in a physical healthy place, i can go back to college after 3 years of drop out, can pursue my hobbies. Also got my boyfried of 2 years back, anorexia made me break up with him because i wasnt even able to handle relationships. But he stayed on the side and now we are back together. I just overall can keep on going with my life, and a good one. You played a huge role on this, I will never thank you enough for that Ro. You did amazing and are still doing amazing, you are really strong and such a beautiful soul overall, i am sure you are going to achieve huge things in the future. I'll keep following you and supporting you in this journey. Much love xx

I appreciate you addressing it as a mental state versus a body look. Even after gaining the weight back from being under weight, the mental battle is the hardest.

I'm so so so proud of you, a few minutes in and I've got chills. Love you so much!

You’re such a strong woman and so inspiring for others xx

You didn’t only save yourself, you also saved me and probably lots of other people ♥️ thanku ro :)

thank you for putting out this video. I myself don’t have an ed but sometimes feel like I’m very at risk of developing one, and videos like this help to give me the strength to fight against unhealthy thoughts around food and body image before things get worse. And you’ve come so far, you’re doing incredible ❤️❤️

you are incredible. you have helped me in my recovery soso much. thank you for everything that you do. i'm so proud of you!!!!!

this might be one of my favorite videos yet! I have suffered from anorexia since my early teens - I am 32 now and still struggle with bouts of anorexia. I lost a good chunk of my life to it. Never had a boyfriend, and just this year managed to got to college for the first time. Your recovery process is commendable! Keep going its worth it - anorexia on the other hand is one hell of a shit show 🖕

So pretty!! Proud of how far you've come

honestly, thank you so so much this couldn’t have come at a better time. have been in recovery (on and off) for just over a year and i’ve caught myself slipping a bit. as you said, i need to accept the fact that my nourished body is the only thing that will give me the fulfilled and happy life i want and deserve. i’m so glad you’re doing better now, i’m aiming to get there soon

I've been with you through most of this journey. You really have created a new life. I have gone through some of this myself so I know how your mind flips... But being free from critical voices and having self love is a huge reward. I know I still have those days but keep going and know that you are healthy and strong. That's quote "Do something that your future self will thank you for. " I have so much to be grateful for. I know you are happier and have moved out. A wonderful loving boyfriend really helps as well. Keep that lovely smile going !!❤️

Thank you for telling your story, it has really helped me. I remember when I had just started recovery almost a year ago, and your videos were/are such a comfort

cant believe i am so lucky to have you telling me just what i need to hear ❤️

I’m in phase one right now and your videos have helped me so much with accepting that I have to get better

girl i have been following you for a year now and i watched all of your videos daily because you inspired me so much to keep on with recovery! i just want to say that you’re literally charming to keep going even though it’s so hard for someone to do that, i hope you’ll answer me back plus i wanna say you’re my inspiration

So so proud of how far you've come!

i found your channel around when i started recovery and some days i had to watch your videos and eat with you because you made me feel so much better about food and my body. thank you so much, i love you

I appreciated this so much Ro. I really did. I really do love hearing things/people's experiences of their recovery journey especially the way that you shared yours. What I mean is that it is very realistic, honest, your words/opinions used were careful/not triggering, and for sure very much supportive. I have felt a lot of those feelings whilst recovering but I haven't felt it to the extent when I can completely let it go...I can tell obviously in myself...and hearing this helps me more and more. It encouraging to keep pushing, to put a bit more faith, and maybe when I don't have that constant motivation or will power I have other people stories to reassure me that it is okay for anyone even me ..that is even hard to say tbh. I'm so happy you did choose to recover for you now. You are soo deserving and so nice that I think it's so unfair for you to live a life of misery when I know you aren't a bad person/an evil being. And nothing is wrong with you..not your body, not your mind, not your personality, not your everything! Haha I know I can easily say this that others because I do see the greatness of people, like you, but I wish and want to see it in myself...I know you have shared this because and it seemed impossible for you before but like you said recovery did save your life and that could be for anyone and (scary to even phathom) me. I really loved this..thank you again for sharing (I liked how you saw/described it as phases) I'm soooooo proud of you Ro. Ps...ngl ..I kept looking at that stuffed leaf on your bed 🤭 so adorable. Love you loads 🤎 💚 🥊 🗣️✨🎥🥹😖☮️🧸

This is EXACTLY what I needed right now. Thank you so much for sharing! You are so inspirational, it’s amazing and gives me so much hope to see your progress. Loads of love. xox

Currently weight restoring and I can't express how much I needed this type of video. I feel like there's hardly any content out there that shares these types of struggles while still excluding pictures/numbers, so thank you so much for putting this out here. It was so needed. I'm so proud of you, and so glad to see how happy you are now

This is a message to everyone in the comments, thank you so so much for sharing your journeys too, because when i am feeling wistful or missing my sick self and my body before starting recovery, it helps a bit to see how anorexia has messed up so many peoples lives, becaude it is easier for me to see how it is bad for other people than to see how it was bad for myself for some reason, so thank you :)

I’m so proud of you and here for you 💕💕💕

ro I can't exactly relate to your struggles but ive been suffering with severe depression for a few months now and ive had to completely stop my education and social life and barely leave the house unless someone forces me. but your determination to get better has made me want to get better too. and ive seen someone who's lost control of their life gain it back and it makes me realise i can do the same. so thank you SO SO much

Thank you for sharing this! I am so grateful for having found your channel and your videos, you are like the friend I feel like I need right now. When I'm tired fighting and my ED tells me to stop recovery, you help me to silence that voice. Thank you for being a support in gaining my life back ❤️

can't describe how helpful is this and how proud I am of you!! You've helped me SO MUCH in my recovery and you're still helping me A LOTTT!!! Weight gain is still so scary for me and I started feeling like I'm slowly going back, but every Sunday when I watch your videos, you remind me of why I am recovering and that everything will pay off. Thank you so much for being so lovely and kind person!! Please keep making videos for YT. Ily🥰❤️❤️

as a person who struggled (and sometimes still does) with anorexia nervosa, this has completely changed the way i view my weight gain. tysm ro, i love you so much and am proud of u

This truly is one of your most beautiful video's. I hope you realise just how many people you are helping right now. When I feel the urge to restrict, I think about your story and the things you accomplished. Thank you so só much for inspiring us to get beter! Have a wonderful evening!!

Thank you truly, I've been needing to hear something like this in my own recovery journey :,)

Ro, you are so brave and beautiful! Thank you for showing me that recovery is possible and helping me throughout my anorexia journey. You are such an inspiration to everyone! You always post at the right time and know exactly what I need to hear! I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come…❤️😘

I haven’t watched this video yet.. but the title already is so comforting. I miss my old body so much but hopefully this video can help change my mindset. Ur videos in general are so helpful as a 14 yr old struggling. Thank you ❤️

u described everything i felt when i was getting weight restored, honestly you’re one of the reasons why i chose recovery, you showed me that there’s hope and there’s a second chance to fix things

This video could not come in a more perfect time, Thank u so much Ro💖

So much love for thissssss!!

I admire you so much. As someone with compulsions that I hide (constant disassociation and associated repetitive behaviours) knowing that you can get through this gives me faith that I can get through my own struggles with mental health.

you dont know how significant you posting this at this moment in time is important to me thank u

The whole video has really resonated with me and I just think you’ve captured the process so well. Thank you so much for sharing this ❤

Ro thank thank thank you. You’re so strong we love you

i am so incredibly grateful for this video. thank you SO much for being so raw and open, its helping people more than you will ever fully know

Thank you hugely for your honesty in sharing your journey. It helped me realise that there are still controlling behaviours that I have, that tbh I’ve been trying to ignore! Lots of love to you

your videos are so helpful. watching your videos helped me so much in the first few months, and now i have a life again. i genuinely can't thank you enough. you deserve the world🥰

It’s truly amazing and admirable the work you have done, the journey you chose and the strength you have to continue even though it’s been hard and challenging. You continued one step at a time and reached your goal. You are very inspiring also for a 36 year old with no ED as my self. Congratulations on your recovery, Ro and take care ❤️

i dont blame you for leaving that therapist. weighing yourself every week and talking about it seems like absolute torture, but it also sounds like it was keeping you within the ED mindset

Yay!! A post notification from the queen of creating a safe healing space! 😍🙂 We love u Ro!

Thank you for this video, I really needed it! I cried a few times while watching it but they were necessary tears

Just wanted to say, how inspiring you are and how proud I am of you. I am a completely different age and have a completely different relationship with food but I have learnt so much from you and been motivated by your dedication to recovery. Keep up the good work, you are smashing it, and I know one sometimes gets nostalgia towards a version of themselves that was never really good for them, seeing your confidence and the sparkle in your eye proves that recovery is totally worth it. Lots of love. Xx