We moved to Sweden a bit more than 2 years ago and the feeling is the same, we miss the people and places in South Africa but love the fact that we can walk out the house and within 2 minutes we are in the woods or at the lake. Glad you guys are enjoying the Netherlands as much as we do Sweden.
Welcome! We Dutch generally make friends in school and keep them all our life. New ones are rarely added. For "us" and to expats I always advise to join a club preferably where joint activities are. Teamsports is a good one, a gym is not (I only see people rushing in and out there) But it takes time. "Friend" for Dutchy is a very precious relationship. You have to "earn" friendships. Typically is "a handful", literally approx 5. The "rest" are "acquaintances" and they are NOT "2nd hand friends" but make up most of your social life. Also, per definition, co-workers will never become friends!! Keep enjoying your stay here, it is a FANTASTIC country. But I am bias, having 35 years expat experience in nummerous countries.
It might also have something to do with it being a small country. So, any family that lives in the Netherlands is close by. Even if they live on the opposite side of the country, you can still go visit them and be back home in one day. So people hang out more with family while in another country you might visit friends in the area.
Agree on most, except the co-workers statement: many of my best friends are or were colleagues ..., but that could be restricted to companies/businesses where many of the staff are non-locals (like for higher educated peeps who tend to end up outside of where they grew up).
@@grungegrumpy3585 Correct. I should have added this detail. I also experienced in all countries I lived that the easiest "friends" are made among the co-expats as you share a lot.
and it's why so much in The Netherlands works. if we aren't (completely) happy about something we complain about it, and that complaining leads to other people seeing the problem you're complaining about and realizing there's a problem that could be fixed. and so (eventually) we try to fix it. and when it's fixed we find the next thing that should be enhanced and complain about that, and the (bi)cycle goes on and on.
Mooie eerlijke kijk op wat je beleeft... Sommige dingen die je niet passen is omdat je op een andere manier je identiteit hebt gevormd, en dat botst dan even. Tijd slijt. Als je langer ergens bent leer je vanzelf je te nestelen(lees verbinden). En geloof me, iedereen is hetzelfde, maakt niet uit waar we vandaan komen. We zijn gevoelig voor dezelfde dingen maar uiten ons op andere manieren..... Go along with your journey!
My youngest daughter's boyfriend is from South Africa (Johannesburg and not safe). He became Dutch six months ago. He is actually an English speaker, but now speaks Dutch quite well. Some words are still not right, but he is doing quite well. But now a fun fact. His parents love a real South African BBQ. With wood and coal. Now they bought a Gas BBQ last spring. Well, I have to tell you: that was a challenge :-) They can't get used to it yet. I laugh my head off, because I do everything on a big gas BBQ. So funny to see that difference.
I am glad you are settling in Marté. Dutch society does not lend itself for making friends outside of family. I have lived here now for sixty years. I fully understand where you are coming from. I have not made many friends at all outside of family but that is common here. The odd friends I have made have already died I am afraid and the rest have moved on. It does not upset me as I was very much a loner back in Edinburgh. I love this country and have needed the great health care system rather a lot. Thank goodness we live here as I would be bankrupt in the States. The Dutch take the safety aspect as a given and the fact that everything works also they never think about. I have a great partner who is Irish but we have both dual nationalities.
Domestic assistance isn't normal for ordinary house holds with able people in the Netherlands. It is more common for elderly people who need that assistance and people who can afford it (let's say rich people who can't be bothered with cleaning). Go to a social/hobby club to meet and befriended Dutch people.
Nice to hear again from you, Marté.. Congratulations on your iron Man... quite an accomplishment! About the Dutch complaining about the Weather... well that's tradition.. and a bit of a sign of health. It just always is too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, too sunny, too cloudy, too windy... name it ! Start worrying about people when they stop complaining about the weather (joke). What I'm curious about is your work as an Attorney.. I'd love to hear more about it one day.
About the dust you see on the ground, or anywhere else....If you look at new houses these days in terms of ventilation, they have a recovery system in them, and that makes it so dusty. ''The abbreviation WTW stands for heat recovery and is a way of ventilation in which as little heat as possible is lost. With WTW ventilation, the used, warm air is simply discharged and the heat from it is transferred to the fresh, cold air that flows into the house through the ventilation system. A WTW unit keeps the air flows in your home in balance, which is why this is also called balanced ventilation. The system is also known as 'ventilation system D'.'' (Picked from the internet)
I'm Dutch with a lot of South Africa in my life. Studied there, brother in law in SA and sister in law as well. I do understand the struggle making friends, real friends can be difficult, but believe me, there are people out there that are open to new friendships and love to hear Afrikaans😊. dankie vir die videos, baie lekker om te hoor hoe mense met 'n ander agtergrond en kultuur dit hier in ons koue landjie vind. Hier is beslis vriende vir die lewe te vinde, dit sal goed wees! groete Jasper
Ja Afrikaans is een soort Nederlands en het klinkt grappig, zoals wij wel grappig voor hen zullen klinken. Koud landje is fors opgewarmd en veel zonniger geworden in de laatste 30 jaar trouwens. Er is niks kouds meer aan eigenlijk, wel natter maar ook veel warmer.
Welkom in Nederland! You may be right that it's hard to make friends here but I think that's true for moving abroad anywhere really. Please don;t worry about the language too much here, it really doesn't matter I think.
Hoorde ik dat nou goed Marthe , is Nederland geen mooi land , natuurlijk zoeen groot land als Zuidafrika heeft veel meer natuur , maar ook al is Nederland klein dan nog is het een heel mooi land , dan heb je volgens mij nog niet veel van Nederland gezien .
"Affordable domestic assistance" Sorry... but from a tourist being to SA. The level of entitledment employers had there was horrendous to see and was a big blemish on our trip. We still talk about it. I am glad you can't find that in my country. The words "modern slavery" come to mind. For a country so beautiful in views, the inequality was so ugly.
I’m sorry you had that experience. In my circles of people, the domestics become a part of the family. They are often so involved that they are invited to weddings, graduations, given clothes and furniture and basically become a member of the family. Wish it was like this in all parts of SA
@@vydrakk I hope you didn’t construe my comment on needing to create time for new household tasks as me approving of the inequality gap in SA, because I do not. That would be a stretch. However, by employing them (often solo female parents), they are given an opportunity to sustain their family where the government/infrastructure has failed them. Hope that clears it up :)
@@martebarnard The people I talked with were dependent on the food and housing they got from their imployer. So for them it sounded less lovingly more necessity to survive. I don't know if the wage you paid your help was enough to have the freedom to choose not to eat with your family. I don't know your specific situation. In the end you can check: Did they get a chance to build a family of their own and have a family life? (maybe the family was eating at your families place too), did they have other options of imployment and freedom to choose that? (Only if you have somewhere to go it is a choise to stay), did they have personal and financial growing options and freedom to ask for a raise without consequences. (Did they feel comfortable enough to discuss their needs) Were you paying a liveable wage. (could they survive of the money you paid them or live somewhat comfortably) Don't get me wrong. I really like my help and I understand you feel a connection beyond employer and employee. But in the end niceness does not get food on the table. I pay her well.
@@martebarnard Yes, the poverty was really rough to see when being there. And I know people were bending over backwards for money and I know I watched it with my western view. I don't know you, you might have paid your staff great seeing they were like family. But I triggered on the "effortable" thing in combination with my experience.
Hi Marte, Nice to hear you coming here. Im dutch and my wife is from SA, and we live in Amsterdam. A lot of South Africans moved here over the last few years.
Hello Marte, welcome in the Netherlands, and i hope you will enjoy life. This year the weather was terrible, to much rain in the summer. And about cleaning and dust, i clean with steam, is much faster and less dust. I hope you will meet a dutch friend soon. I only know, that work and prive are always seperated by the Dutch.
It is a complaint people have with northern Europeans, work and private are indeed almost strictly seperated. Most people tend to have friends they had in their youth. New friends can happen but it is not easy. She is a beautiful woman btw, so finding a boyfriend should be easy still but in these days of dating apps I think it is far more difficult since the spontenanity is not there anymore. I have heard that from other people. In my days we used to meet in disco's etc. That was easy and I think more natural.
@@Serenoj69 I believe making friends on a Dutch festival is the best way. If they are with you for a few days, they know you better, and Dutch people are easier to approach, they are more open to it. The same is for yourself, you can watch if there are some Dutch you have a click with.
@@helenooft9664 I have no such experience, so I can't comment on it. Just theoretically it seems that festivals ar emostly not held next to your door and the people you meet are from somewhere else. may be 100+ km away from you. It does seem far more difficult to keep a close friendschip let alone start one if that is the case. I think the best thing is meeting people in your town or city or at least near you so you can build up a contact. But I could be wrong.
@@Serenoj69 There are festivals everywhere in the Netherlands, but you can look to festivals that are in your Town. You can find festivals in the Netherlands on a webside, I have an Irish friend, she ask me to help here with her Dutch, and she helps me with my English, and that was fun. So she became one of my best friends.
Good to hear you are settling in. My upstairs neighbors are South-African expats and we have had drinks and a braai or two. 😊 We're now entering the part of the year that's tough on all: dusk at 16 hours. Hang in there!
Welcome to our little country. Hopefully you will make soon some Dutch friends 😉. Dutch people can be a bit reservated but if you meet them on a festival, concert, bar, sport event or... whatever is fun they will be much more open to get in contact.
😂 we will complain about anything and honestly that doesn't always say much. There could have been a heat wave for weeks and at the first sign of rain we be like "***damnit this horrid rain will it ever stop". It shouldn't be that hard to make none expat friends, but it's probably a matter of literally meeting people where they are at. Meeting new people in a bar isn't the easiest thing here, but go to a bouldering gym (as opposed to a normal gym) for instance and you'll meet people your first day there, be hanging about after climbing on week 2 and be planning a trip three months later. That's just an example, but I guess what I want to day is the where and when of when we are open to meet new people is a bit specific.
about the weather... i recently saw a similar video or an Irishman who had moved to the Netherlands and even he was complaining about the weather. Saying something like, I know the weather in Ireland is bad, but the weather in the Netherlands is on a whole different level of bad.
May be because our winters are a lot colder than in Ireland? Otherwise our summers are a lot warmer, spring too and it is also much sunnier. The amount of sunshine has steadily risen in the last 50 years and continues to do so. The amount of days with fog is 25% of what it used to be in the 80s. The snowcover amount is also 1/4 of what it was.
And he is talking nonsense. We have 1700-2000 hours of sunshine per year. Limerick in the centre of Ireland has 1300. That is a lot less. Limreick average 980 mm of rain per year, The Netherlands only has one or two spots topping that. Ireland has many more. Dublin is probably the sunniest spot with close to 1500 hours of sunsine which is still less. The amount of rain is 775 mm which is about the same as in The NEtherlands. Summers...daytime maxima are 3-4 colder than the Dutch average and winters 2-3 C warmer. What is he talking about? Ireland has more rain, more rainy days, clearly less sunshine, clearly cooler summers and springs especially during the daytime...Even when compared to the most continental place in Ireland, which is Dublin. I mean temperatures above 25 C let alone above 30 C are so rare the records for Dublin, Shannon and Limerick are barely above 30 C. The record. We have that easily every year a couple of times. Our April and september records are higher than that.
Domestic chores. Having some robotised vacuum cleaner, somewhat like those automated lawn mowers, doing the job 24/7 is really a big help when living alone. The ' dust problem' could have its origin in the textiles used in your house/appartment and/or the way they are washed ( agressive powders/liquids) or dried. About friends. Relax, you have a charming personality, meeting people nearby in an activity you like ( walking clubs ?) will not be that hard and perhaps you might get a friend . It's important to like the activity because people will see through it and than you'll be cataloged as 'fake'. All changes take time to appreciate, that goes for expats and immigrants but also for the locals having new neighbours from 'the far beyond'.
Hey Marté, good to hear from you again. Totally understandable what you said about friends. And missing out on certain things/events. But keep in mind that you just can't go everywhere, even if you were nearby. Because of work or something else. Oh, and yes. The weather, this year, is/was bad. I'm born here, 61 years ago, and I still don't like it. Wishing the both of you the time of your life. Greetings from the Hague
Great video 🙂 Well structured and explanetory, I loved it! Have you ever thought about becoming a attorney ;-) The weather 1. In every video about the Netherlands, people (that ARE NOT form the Netherlands) warn you about the weather. You must have stumbled upon them (videos).. 2. We (people IN the Netherlands) have only a few things to complain about. The weather is one of them. I am glad you are back. Missed your videos, I (educated) guessed you were training and doing the Iron Man. Flying to South Africa Tickets (in Europe) are the most expensive in Switzerland and The Netherlands. (we are the fools that buy the tickets at almost any price).| If you don't need a direct flight: - Look for (single) flights in Germany or Belgium - Fly e.g. over London or Warschau (Poland) - Buy (return) tickets in South Africa (or any country but The Netherlands or Switzerland). Nature in the Netherlands Try a weekend: - cycling in the Dutch provinces: Drenthe (heide), Gelderland (Hoge veluwe), Friesland (lakes and the islands Ameland and Terschelling), Limburg (zuid Limburgse heuvels) - visiting the Biesbosch (near Dordrecht) walking or by boat Nature nearby (distances compared to travel time in South Africa 🙂 ) - the Ardennes in Belgium - the Eifel or the Black Forest in Germany
Hello! I’m so sorry for being missing in action for so long, your assumption was correct. IronMan training, a new job and having relatives visiting meant there was no time to film and edit, but I am happy to be back 🤗 I wasn’t surprised my the state of the weather here, I think it was more like a shock on the system to get used to it coming from SA. But I have bonded with a lot of people in complaining about it hahaha, it really is a national sport! Thanks for all the tips and tricks, I really appreciate it 😊😊 fijne dag!
Dutch people already have their own social circle that's often not even remotely connected with their work environment. A lot of Dutch people make a strict distinction between co-workers and friends. As one of my friends put it: "I have to work with my co-workers, I choose to be with my friends. I can't imagine inviting a co-worker to my house. Who in his right mind is bringing his work to his house?"
Welkom terug, Marté! Ik weet niet zeker of ik je al in het Nederlands kan antwoorden, zie het maar als een oefening! 😉 Zoals anderen al zeiden: Nederlanders maken hun vriendschappen in hun jeugd en daarna komen er maar zelden nieuwe bij. Mijn vrouw en ik zijn (voor Nederlandse begrippen) ver van huis terechtgekomen, en ondanks dat we hier al 35 jaar wonen en aardig wat mensen kennen, beschouwen we elkaar meestal als bekenden, niet als vrienden. Wat het beste werkt: zoek verenigingen, voor teamsport of hobby. Gedeelde interesses zijn een goede start voor vriendschappen. Als je vaker Nederlands wilt oefenen: ik denk dat je online partners moet vinden die Teams willen gebruiken.
@@ronaldv_tm My Nederlandse begrip is goed, maar ek dink dis beter as ek in Afrikaans antwoord! Baie dankie, die lekker om terug te wees. Ek kom agter deur jou en ander mense se kommentaar te lees dat ek geduldig moet wees en aansluit by ‘n sport-klub of iets soortgelyk om mense te ontmoet. Baie dankie vir al die voorstelle, ek waardeer dit opreg. Fijne avond! 🤗
You are welcome. I would love 2 stay in Kaapstad or Anywhere in Suid Afrika for a year or so. The Netherlands are unique and therefore beautiful. Enjoy
When you meet someone, complaining about the weather is a useful conversation starter because everyone has an opinion about the weather. Making friends can be difficult for almost everyone. Everyone, including you, has built their own living environment. But the new social contacts can enrich that living environment. Make sure you get out and about regularly. For example, join a sports club or another one that suits you. Sitting at home alone rarely makes you friends. By the way, aren't we friends of yours?
Love this comment, because yes I feel very connected to lovely people like yourself who comment here. Thank you for the tips too, I’ll try them all out ☺️
Dust? Could be because you have much new clothes/linnen/furniture? New stuff often releases loose fibers for a while… could also be a bad vacuum cleaner 😬
"It's not beautiful here"?!? Then you really haven't seen much in the Netherlands yet. I guess it's a totally different kind of beauty. Of course there is way more (variation in) nature in SA. The NL is very small and has other qualities like old cities, the Waddeneilanden and much more. It's rather odd to state that "it's not beautiful here".
The Dutch always complain, primarily about the weather. Nothing new. And I don't think the Netherlands is dusty. We just don't have cleaners who clean it up for you. Fun fact, most of the dust is from your skin, some is from traffic, and at the coastal zone, it can also be fine sand and salt. Just work at your Dutch, and Dutch friends will come. They are hard to get, but if you have one, it is for life and extremely loyal. As for the countries beauty, I agree with you, but it is in the eye of the beholder. Some people can get extremely enthousiastic about the fact that every "polder" is different. I don't see it.
One source of dust we have that you might not have in South Africa is Sahara sand. But I've never heard of the Netherlands being dustier than elsewhere. 😂
I got 2 industrial electricians and the third one is coming this month, one is speaking or understanding Dutch the other one who speaks Afrikaans has more problems with it and looks like he is not really going for it. All went out of Africa for discrimination and criminality.
It has got zero to do with you being a foreigner that you do not have friends. And you being Afrikaans speaker should adjust your language just a little to be fluent in Dutch. We simply keep our friends we had and rarely make new ones after college or so. The weather was extremely wet (easily) record! rainfall the past 12 months. But he....if you had come here 30-40 years ago you would have had MUCH colder summers and MUCH colder winters. Imagine 2 months of continues snowcover, daytime temperatures between -5 and -10 C. A blizzard of an on etc. You know we are the best icespeedskaters in the world for a reason....To me these years ever since 1995 and more so after 2018 are exceptionally warm. Winters is basically one long autumn to most of us now. About language a bit more: Danes learn fluent, impaccable Dutch in a matter of months. If they want to you cannot tell they are not Danes, I have had this a couple of times now. Of course, this is because Danish is very similar to Dutch. But surely not as similar as Afrikaans is. I feel if you still talk Afrikaans with a twist after 9 months you do not put in enough effort. If a Dane is accentless in months and the grammar is perfect, you should be able to do the same. I would not mind you talking Afrikaans btw I can understand 90% of it and it is funny.
you answered my question (of antwoord mijn vraag) ((see, also broken dutch): how the language barrier for someone who speak afrikaan (see, also broken dutch) Thisn summer was awful, i almost had an hypothermia in june (fun part, the year before, week for week, it almost had a heat shock)
Welkom in ons kleine kikkerlandje en ik wil je wel een update geven hoe het in Afrika is aangezien ik er best vaak moet zijn als kassenbouwer zijnde :)
Read some of the comments already posted. Saw that speaking Dutch is an issue for you. But, just like cleaning the house and doing rather extreme sports (my opinion), NOT EVERYTHING needs to be (near) perfect. Immigrants from all over earth have retained or adapted some quirks in speaking Dutch. Famously ridiculed sometimes is the 'fat W' some people have from the former Surinam colony, and some repatriated from what is now Indonesia had a particular way of speaking Dutch. And don't get me started on people with heritage from around the Mediterranean. Not to forget many dialects within this country that are markedly different than standard Dutch. Point is, it does not need to be perfect -- the purpose of language is to be understood. JDI (or JFDI if you're in a bad mood). People will respond if on occasion it becomes incomprehensible, but they do it to help not to criticize! FWIW, people from the UK often compliment on my very good English. Though it is usually meant truly positive, it feels like "nah, not like a native". Just push aside that feeling. It is something that only exists between your ears!
Find a nice church, Pentecostal , Vineyard for example.. or join a sport club, .... astronomy club etc.. Be a friend, and you will find friends.. Dust??? You live near the coast?
I would like to be your friend.And yes South Africa so different but Holland is nice 2. Beautifull nature just flat perhaps in Limburg.Don 't worry about the language we can understand you.Have a good life .❤🎉😊
Spreek jij geen Afrikaans? Woon je in de omgeving van Maastricht. Misschien vind me vrouw het wel leuk om eens ergens een drankje te doen. Gr van een Italiaan al 20 jaar wonend in Nederland
most native Dutch people I know have cleaners. But only a half day each week. My grand parents had at least one helper allmost full time. Ordinary middle class.
@@1aapmens Don't know, the people they get in touch with at the railways station, the people who they encounter while doing there shopping? You know, the "average" Dutch person.
Hallo Marte , hoorde ik jouw net zeggen dat Nederland geen mooi land is , ok ik weet ook wel dat Zuidafrika veel groter is en daarom veel meer natuur heeft , maar om nou te zeggen dat Nederland geen mooi land is dan ben jij volgens mij nog nergens in Nederland geweest .
