How (Not) to Write Xenofiction: A Literary Autopsy 

If you enjoyed this video, please consider checking out my debut xenofiction novel, Winter Without End: www.fenrispublishing.com/winter A post-apocalyptic story told through the eyes of a dog, Winter Without End follows a Labrador retriever who, after being abandoned by his human family in the aftermath of a devastating pandemic, makes an uneasy alliance with a wounded wolf in order to survive.

The author maneging to write himself into a corner so hard that apocalypse is the only way out is the best thing i've heard about this book

To a certain extent I have to respect the massive balls it takes to end your story with "Because of a decision made in the last book, the world goes to shit and is running straight into the apocalypse, but then humans decide to nuke everything, but the rapture comes before that can happen." I was starting to think I understood just how bad the books were, and then you hit us with that in the 11th hour.

They portrayed crows as stupid!? The birds that can use very primitive tools and environment to get food? Those that can observe and analyze human behavior and movement so they can snatch food without risk? Those that can pay the humans for food with shiny objects they find? My god that author is stupid.

"This video will contain spoilers for: - World war 2" Fuckin killed me

I really think the author missed out on not giving the villains a "survival of the fittest" mentality, especially considering that the whole idealogy of the Nazis was that certain groups of people were inferior and deserved to eradicated. What if Slyekin was abandoned by his parents and had to resort to eating his sibling in order for him to survive, and this could be his start of darkness, justifying his cruel acts in the name of survival. Then, his superiority complex could be because he perceives corvids as superior to others birds due to their intelligence, and sought to wipe their natural competitors out. As for Traska, rather than just bloodthirsty psychopath, he's someone who wants to be in control, so it was easy for him to subject to Slyekin's ideology. It makes sense, too, since a lot of military leaders are driven by ambition and dreams of domination. But rather than take inspiration from what the actual motivations and ideology of Nazis entailed, Woodall just thought "Well they're evil, and Nazis are evil, so why not just make Bird Hitler?"

Birds are the last survivor dinos and it makes me sad not one author has used that as a mythos base. Nothing said "y'all pissed off the gods" like the fall of dinos

That bonkers ending to the second book kinda tells me "I don't wanna make this a whole franchise so I'm just gonna give it the most definitive ending ever but I didn't have time to think about it so, uh, wolf ghost apocalypse".

Slyekin is just a 12 year old's third warrior cats OC that they made after reading The Darkest Hour

Man, that "senseless murder there's nothing like it" line is on the same tier as that one kid from Cool Cat announcing he loves being a bully.

Your rant on scavengers is SO valid, as a zoology major it’s incredibly disheartening to see the stigma surrounding them. They’re super important to the ecosystems they inhabit, it’s honestly amazing how many people don’t realize that. Been binging your channel recently, your videos are top notch. Keep up the great work!

The fact that just about the only scene the author bothers to write in any level of detail is an extremely graphic rape scene, following up on that by making the victim a character consumed by revenge and then having it mean nothing as she gets torn apart without accomplishing anything… I think it tells me enough about what he prioritizes in his writing

I know I'm late to the party, but there's a children's bird xenofiction trilogy written by a kid herself. The first book is called Swordbird, the prequel is called Sword Quest, and the sequel is Sword Mountain, written by Nancy Yi Fan. I reread the original and the prequel recently, and while you can definitely tell they're written by a kid, it's still got its charm. It might be fun to check out!

52:06 I know this is completely irrelevant to the whole of the video but.. in TLK, they don’t discriminate against hyenas because they scavenge. They do because they’re lions. Lions and hyenas are natural enemies irl. It’s not explained in the movie why the lions don’t want the hyenas in the pride lands but it’s easy to assume that they just hate them because lions just don’t like hyenas. The only moment I can recall where one of the good guys talk down to hyenas is when Zazu calls them “mangy poachers.” Honestly, Scar, the hyenas’ supposed pal, talks more shit about them than any other character. Mufasa never said anything bad about them. He beats them up but doesn’t talk down to them. Sorry. Huge Lion King nerd. I have that movie memorized. Back on topic, fantastic video. Your breakdown on the importance of prose is really well done. Prose is so hard to get right and I rarely see many people actually explain what it’s purpose is and how to do it correctly. And your breakdown about verisimilitude and suspensions belief is great! Not only did you teach me a new word, you did a way WAY better job explaining the importance of building believability in the world itself than I ever could. I’ve tried so many times in the past to explain that distinction but could never get it worded right. Now I’ll just refer to this vid because you do such a great job!

i actually really liked some of the character names in this book, I think the name traska goes so hard. and then the same guy goes and names his continents "birddom" and "wingland" WHAT

Daaang, those Bradford excerpts be straight fire. Just, insane. "The wolves... spoke to me of freedom." Hits like a ton of bricks.

48:41 Reminds me of Over The Garden Wall. A bird character uses the phrase "wash my hands of this whole affair", and it's actually foreshadowing that the bird was a person who got turned into a bird. Don't make wild animals know what sleeves and die are for no reason. These birds could've like, lived in a park where humans show up sometimes. Wouldn't have changed that much.

The writing style makes me think that woodall has like no imagination or "inner eye", he can't visualize what's going on so they have to write it all out in detail, because if he can't then the reader surely can't. Some passages you showed are like rough drafts for a script, not a novel. I'll admit I'm terrible at writing, I can't get the ideas in my head on paper, but even I was cringing at the lines he wrote. Yet at the same time, he comes out of nowhere with insane plot points that make no sense and give the series the most anticlimactic ending ever. It's a work of art

As someone passionate for both biology and art, this piece of literary toilet paper inspires me to write my own xenofiction, cause if someone can screw up a story about birds this badly, I'm sure I'd be able to come up with a more coherent and engaging piece from scratch.

Note to self: Write hamster xenofiction that's partly a spiteful spit at hamster owners that think they're super UwU cutiewuties that can do no wrong and thinks all reptiles should go extinct. Instead of the reality that's closer to them being almost like real life Skavens.

42:37-42:45 See also Simba in “The Lion King”, who is kind and brave and smart in his own way and makes friends really easily…but is also impulsive, prone to indolence and hedonism, prefers to ignore/run away from his problems unless he absolutely has to confront them, is gullible when told what he wants to hear, and has massive insecurities whenever he thinks about having to live up to his father Mufasa.

I actually read this as a kid (yes, legally a child.) and I find it fascinating. Probably because 1. It was translated so the prose issue was partially fixed and 2. I was a kid, so that issue flew over my head completely. I, however, never got over the rapture ending because I'm not raised in a christian society and the rapture is a VERY foreign concept to me. I was left very... very confused. Thank you for this video. now I know why it left me with an unsatisfying taste.

This book is sold at one of my local supermarkets. Everytime my mum takes me shopping, we go to the book section to see if anything is new, and I point out this book to her, saying "Oh, that's the crow-rape book, why is it in the kid's section?" Edit: It's kinda confusing that you used a picture of an Aussie magpie in the video, half the time I was asking myself "Wait, are these Australian magpies in the book or European?" It's small but Aus magpies aren't corvids, so it matters, if only slightly.

This prose reminds me of the backstories I wrote as a thirdteen year old for my Neopets. There is a reason I chose visual art instead of writing. It appears I did more research about the animals I was writing about back then, than this author ever did.

I agree completely on the importance of prose. Nowadays too many books try to imitate movies, being written like screenplays, and not good ones. Or the prose is overly simple, stuff that would make Dick and Jane say “add some variety.” Prose is how we experience the story in a book, much like how good cinematography and acting are what carry a story in movies, good prose is what carries and conveys the story in books. People are needlessly scared of writing “purple prose”.

You NEED to talk about Wolves of the Beyond. The prose in that storyline is much more haunting and ethereal than all of Kathryn Lasky's books in Owls of Ga'hoole.

The fact that _the very first passage_ you show from this book is an owl getting shamed for its human fetish is making me scared of what comes next 💀 Edit: oh it’s a different book, thank _god._

Corvids as the authoritarians is a weird choice, historically they have been a Trickster archetype in folklore and religion

Another one about romance. Some animals do tend to mate for life. Including foxes. So Todd feeling affection for his mates is realistic. As fox couples tend to live together and raise their children. Most bird species tend to be with their mate and live together so “romance” makes some sense.

This is hands down one of the best critiques of bad writing, not only do you explain why it's bad in detail you don't rely on being overly critical to get the point across.

This is such a good video. You dont just say that somthing is badly written you say why and give good explantions that even someone who is not experinced in writing can understand. You also give great analogies that tie to popular media so its easier to understand. Also you give ways to fix it and actually put effort into them instead of half ass solutions. You make great videos that are totally underrated. You deserve alot more attention then you get, these are some of the best literature analysis on youtube.

As someone who finished his university degree in Literature... this first segment about prose made me question my writing in such a gut wrenching way, I had to pause the video for a minute. But hey, such is life I guess ^^' I prefer questioning my own skills rather than never learn and progress. (English is only my second language btw)

The magpies where I live are some of the friendliest, empathetic creatures I’ve ever seen. They literally befriended the contemporary crows, ravens, and northern flickers, creating a multi-species flock of corvids. While they certainly can be the glue that holds the foundation of different corvid species’ cooperation, it’s certainly not a system of domination, but, well, cooperation.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard of a book that involves bird Nazis, I would have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's strange it happened twice.

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE AN ANIMATED ADAPTATION OF THIS. That'd be PEAK comedic gold.

“With the skies clouded with famine, I could feed not my nest any longer.” Would that be a good prose for describing how a budgie or a quacker parrot would react to a swarm of locusts?

I recently read a great sci fi book called Children of Time and Children of Ruin. In hindsight they are perfect xenofiction as the animal societies follow a very logical path as the intelligence of the species increases. They aren’t humans with spider features, they are spiders who developed biotechnology to work with their physiology and neurology.

I have no idea how I found this video, nor did I realise I'd be watctching a 90 minute breakdown of what I can only conclude is a secret fanfiction attempt at writing xenofiction that somehow got published...but I stayed because I loved your breakdown of what works and doesn't work, as well s your incongruity about the story. This was an interesting ride, thank you.

52:00 There is an animated series based on The Lion King called The Lion Guard that touches on the idea of predators and prey in some episodes. It doesn't go into any detail, but it at least acknowledges that predators prey on animals, which have been shown speaking in other episodes. It also does a pretty good job of letting some antagonists become good guys, while others don't. It all comes down how well they respect the Circle of Life, meaning that you take only what you need. Actually, I really like the Lion Guard. I'll have to rewatch it sometime.

Honestly curious about your take on Kathryn Lasky's Guardians of Ga'hoole series after hearing about this chaotic mess.

35:25 GRRM actually gives a backstory for that, by the way. When Tywin was a kid, his father Tytos Lannister (the ill-prepared third son of Lord Gerold Lannister and Rohanne Webber of Coldmoat, himself the second son of Lord Damon Lannister and Cerissa Brax of Hornvale) was treated as a punchline due to his weak and flaccid nature. And that made Tywin mistrust the idea of being laughed at.

Man, that bit about birds just using human expressions brought me back to the few times I got to review student works for my community college's creative writing magazine. I don't even remember anything else about this one piece, I just remember being completely launched out of somebody's slightly edgy, fanfic-y, written-by-a-14-year-old-y story about a wild wolf pack. Basically, in response to something, one of the wolf characters quips about being "out of the frying pan and into the fire", and it just hit me like a truck. Also remember something in there about saying "pedal to the metal" instead of "hurry up", and I just got really frustrated by how lazy and unimaginative it was. I really wanted it to turn into a weird joke or something, like another wolf was gonna ask "Hey, what's a frying pan?", but naw, fuck it. The wolves know what frying pans are and how the gas pedal works in a car because *I* know what those things are, and I can't be bothered to consider how somebody different from me might speak, think, or behave. Caring about those things is for chumps; I just made them all wolves because I want my self-insert to be a wolf, because wolves are rad.

I just want to say: I find myself re-watching this video several times. The genre is not even relevant (though you have convinced me to read 2 xenofiction books in your other videos). This is simply one of the best advice and instruction on creative writing of all the videos I have seen on RU-vid. You make things wonderfully clear. I have recommended this video to several people who tried creative writing but had trouble understanding some of the aspects you touch upon in this video. I'm going to buy your book and read it. If you practice what you preach even half as well, it will be a good read I think.

I have seen crows once pick at a dead hedgehog on a mud track at the edge of an industrial estate. My firend has pushed the hedgehog off the road so it would not get run over by any cars come end of day rush hour. He thought he was doing the crows a favour with that, so they could keep eating without having to dodge cars. When we walked past that spot again two hours later, the hedgehog was again on the road, the crows pulled it right into the middle of the tire marks, ready to get pulped by the cars for easier pickings. It's almost symbiotic.

ohhh my gosh, the plotlines in both of these books just have me shocked. especially everything involving tomar’s plan with the insects, it’s so bad lmao. loved your xenofiction vid and loved this one just as much, was happily surprised to see you go into more depth on this one in particular. great work!

This video 1. has plenty of very instructive examples of good and bad writing, and 2. made me really appreciate corvids even more than I already did.

10:55 "Now that the time for parting had come, Kirrick felt sad to be leaving the owl. He had very quickly grown fond of Tomar, and had cherished the companionship and the comfort it gave, after such a long period of terror. Kirrick felt daunted by what lay ahead of him, and, not for the last time in his journerying, began to consider himself inadequeate to the task. But he knew that, once started, the adventure itself would carry him on, and would give him little time for such doubts. Survival itself would be enough to think about. His journery to find Darreal would be long and arduous, through unfamiliar territory, and Kirrick wondered what sort of reception he would get at the end of it all." I'm going to attempt to rewrite this using that "show, don't tell" rule of prose since I need practice and this isn't very good. (Side note: I didn't get far beyond this point in the video at the time of writing this and have never read this book, so the setting may be wrong.) "Now that the time for parting had come, Kirrick let his head fall lower than normal, a creeping feeling of what was to come. He hesitated to leave for a moment, his talons stuttering on the branches. Kirrick moved along with reluctant steps and looked to the sky with dreary eyes. 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯? He hoped that the trials of survival ahead would distract him from such doubts. Kirrick then imagined the piercing eyes of the eagle at the end of the road, causing him to shiver." Not entirely show, but I did my best. I'm still an amateur writer that's learning the ropes, and "show, don't tell" and brevity are the hardest for me.

I feel the biggest exception to the show don't tell rule is all of H.P. Lovecraft's stories. Dude doesn't know how to keep something short despite writing primarily short stories but damn does he tell it well. It's overly flowery, explains basically everything by the end, and even what is described can usually be summed as so terrifying it defies description, but for some reason it reads with such fervor that it's still fun to read. For me at least.

37:50 is probably the best definition of edgy if ever heard and will probably use it myself when talking to others about it.

Honestly, really glad to hear someone else talk about Garfield and His Nine Lives. Was beginning to think I was the only one who remembered that was a thing

This is quite simply one of the best things I've seen on writing; perhaps the best. Great work.

30:23 Slyekin having an EVIL LIMP makes you appreciate just how dedicated “A Song of Ice and Fire” is to smashing the Seven Hells out of the “disability/deformity as a sign of evil and malice” trope.

I genuinely feel like this video finally kinda made it click for me how Show dont Tell works. Like, idk if it's weird to attribute it to this to you, but after watching this I found myself actually pinpointing a few instances of really good "showing" in some of the books I was reading. So big thanks for the examples you used here! I found them very illuminating.

I don't know this channel, I don't know this book. I'm just along for the ride and want to write out my appreciation for the phrase "Just giving us a Wikipedia article on their war crimes" in reference to evil magpies.

For a moment I wondered if what the birds called "continent" could just been a big island, (like how in _The People the Time Forgot_ the cavemen talked about the island they lived in as if it was the whole world) wich would make more realistic that a council of only 12 owls ruled over the entire territory... but then I remembered that a lot of birds are migratory, so they should be even more aware than humans of how big the world is, so is just an oversight by the author

The thing that confuses me the most is how the author chose to portray crows. Everything else is bad, sure, but the *reason* crows and ravens are famous is because of their *intelligence*

*Garfield: His 9 Lives* was under the file of childhood trauma I'd forgotten.. The fact that particular, incredibly dark, episode within the story is based off of *Plague Dogs* is... Something. *Plague Dogs*- The book so dark the author re-wrote the ending to provide *some* hope.. And write himself into the story. Because why not at that point. And take a pop at his other light, cheery children's book... *Watership Down* .

your "non-humans shouldn't do/reference human things" point makes me really happy this is actually a thing and not just some minor thing that's bugged me every time a writer describes a non-human with very human words (i actively search out a lot of media with robots and you have no idea how many "the robot shivered" i've seen.)

When it comes to xenofiction I think one of the most fascinating examples I've encountered is in the game Golden Treasure: The Great Green, where you play as a dragon. It's amazing reading about how dragons perceive other creatures and their culture when speaking to each other.

The fact that this master piece only has 1,006 Views is a tradgedy

"You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!" Show don't tell in a nutshell

I kinda scoffed when you said "Show, don't tell," and I'm like, "But all you can do with prose is Tell..." But then you came back around and said "Don't explain the subtext". That makes sense. More sense than saying "Show don't tell" in reference to prose.

This is such a wonderful guide on 'how to *not* ruin your story,." In depth yet concise. One for Sorrow, Two for Joy on the other paw, yeeeeaaaah.. I've not read it myself, but dear sane animal gods, that book sounds horrendous. Especially the end of the second book, just wow, lol. The comparison with the Nazis all the way through was Apropos, "I wrote myself into a corner with this disaster, so screw it, everyone dies, the world dies too" Nuance is far too hard for some people apparently, I could feel your justified frustration all the way through. If I ever write a xenofiction story, I will keep these notes close. Thanks for your great work!

You know you've done something wrong when Skeletor actually feels like a compelling villain compared to yours. At least his explicit obsession with evil is more comical than physically painful.

Note to self: Write a bird Xenofiction focusing on corvids to show how they use teamwork and their intelligence to outsmart enemies.

Corvids don't just show some level of empathy to their own. The will peck at the ice around duck's feet until they are free, they will 'bully' a hedgehog until it reaches the other side of the road, they will pick up sticks and rocks to play fetch with wolves, they bring gifts and are friendly to humans who fed and are kind to them. And as a girl who loved crows to death, I'm offended at this book's simplistic portrayal of their family. Sure corvids can be bullies, thieves, and opurtunistic eaters, eating meat and eggs if they can. But they'll just as quickly sled down a hill on a piece of plastic or swoop at those who look like a threat to their friends.

This is so bad that I could write something up in minutes at literally 5am and it would be better. You know what? Sure, let's do this. Keep in mind, it's probably horrible. - Diamond winced, violently flapping her wings as snow dappled her beak. She shook her head as she ducked to the cover of a nearby bush. Her gaze lifted to the murky, darkly clouded skies above. The chill caught at her feathers, the air unusual icy. The brick forest was eerily silent, as if spring would never return. Diamond let out a bitter caw. The silence shattered as others joined her calls. Her siblings, echoing a mix of confusion, annoyance and laughter in return. "It's just a bit of snow, dear." Glimmer's chuckles seemed uncontrollable. Diamond rolled her eyes and beat her wings again. Like Glimmer could talk, if it was rain she'd be long gone. Her dear older sister was like that. It was when a blurry of black and white passed the branches of her hiding place that she knew she'd had caught his attention as well. "Is everything alright, Diamond?" Nettle tilted his head as he pushed his break through the foliage. Diamond could have sworn she saw a playful glint in his eye and she groaned in frustration. "I'm fine." She grumbled, nudging the other magpie away with a few flicks of her wing. "Go bother Glimmer or find Copper or something."

I’d argue all the rabbit villains in Watership Down have more depth to them than the protagonists in One For Sorrow. Apart from Woundwort having an actually understandable motive (it’s worth mentioning that his mother’s death by weasels comes after his idiot father pissed off a farmer so badly the guy killed both Woundwort’s dad and all his siblings, which then led to him and his mother traveling and so being found by the weasels. The fact his whole family’s death was explicitly caused by not being cautious enough around humans, you can see how things got to the point they did), all the rabbits under him have believable motivations beyond just “cus dey ebil”. You’ve got the likes of Campion, a more or less decent guy who’s basically victim to his own sense of loyalty. Groundsel, who’s pretty much just one of the bad guys because that’s where he was born, and that’s just what you do. Even the likes of Vervain, who’s admittedly a bullying bastard, isn’t cartoonishly evil. He’s just a dickhead who likes throwing his weight around, and happily works with the oppressive system to build his own power base. I don’t know, I just really love Watership Down.

Learning the rules teaches you how to most effectively break them. Shoutouts to disability = evil in one single throwaway sentence that adds nothing and doesn't matter. ...You know I was going to snark about some things like it being a halfassed excuse because the author just really wanted to write about bird rape for some reason, but the book ending with bird rapture really just explains a lot, actually. Enjoyed the discussion of writing craft. Seems to be something I don't see much, but maybe I just hadn't found the right corner of youtube until now.

This video was great. Thoughtful writing advice, fantastic breakdown of what was wrong with the prose. I loved how you even gave examples of how the author could've improved what he wrote, and how other narratives would've been harmed by using a similiar prose structure. I downright cringed reading some of the samples you used, as they reminded me of how I used to write when I wrote fanfiction in middle school. Thanks for the great vid West.

A lot of the excerpts you read sound like stuff I wrote as a little kid, just with better grammar... The fact that this is a published novel that so many people bought is curing my imposter syndrome

I completely forgot these books existed. I remember when I was a wee lassy grabbing the first book and being totally enamored by the cover art and concept (I loved avian xenofiction). Had a tough time getting into the first few chapters, then I managed to lose it while on a walkabout, and felt some remorse that I hadn't given it a proper chance. Now I'm glad I left it on a stump somewhere for the elements to claim. What a mess! Do you have plans to examine the Guardians of Ga'hoole series?

What I learned: self publishing is a double edged sword. *double checks on google* Wait... its not self published? How did this get past the editors?!

HOW did I miss this?! (OMG this was postedl iterally the day I helped puppies get born so i had been up alll night long on the 24th so tired and aboslutely drained) Been so excited to hear you do a full video on this monstrosity and I'm so glad the time had finally come. Poor trees had to die for this…! Lol Unfortunately there is a sequel to this. Yes; a SEQUEL. Oh nevermind, you already knew XD Your passages are such an improvement by the way. I’d pay you to rewrite the entire book, to be completely honest! On another note...This has made me more aware of my wirting skills, and I am worried about my WIP. I'm afraid my prose isn't very good. I feel I over-describe things, basically, and I fear I ramble too much. I hope this essay will help me find my footing and keep on writing.

According to the author bio, he came up with the story as a bedtime story to tell to his kids. You know, like that other renowned fantasy author. So, bizarre "wait for the rapture" message at the end aside, the author's other books on Goodreads consist of another Birddom book, this time starring a heron with an added dose of "Adam and Eve," and...saucy WWII romance dramas?

I want to write xenofiction in the future, and your videos are the best in that part, i love how you explain all.

I am HERE for this

the REDACTED part is insane, the fact its one of the rare moments they actually described smtn in detail, im concerned by how much the writer seemed to be enjoying writing it, let alone then try to make the villain now be all tragic n shit like boohoo who cares than i traumatised that woman? i love her!!!

25:53 The flashback point reminds me of my favorite book, Into the Pit by Scott Cawthon. While the Into The Pit story itself follows a fairly simple linear structure, the story Count The Ways starts off In Medias Res, staring right past the inciting incident, then our villan says something that launches our main character, Millie Fitzsimmons, into a flashback, of so many years ago. The book then continues like this, with long flasbacks and long stretchs of the present (but they don't seem to interrupt eachother) until the flashbacks lead us to where the story started, and we end the story in the present, with...well i'm not spoiling the ending, since I _heavily_ suggest you read it, if you're into supernatural horror and don't mind heavy mentioning of death.

1:25 I love how almost every corvid is in its emo phase, meanwhile you just have bluejays showing up in white and blue pajamas.

I find it very jarring how this book shows us things that though unfortunate, do happen in animal world- such as for example cannibalism, but then proceeds to moralize it in a very peculiar fashion. Like a small bird having to resort to devouring it's siblings because it had been abandoned by it's parents sound plausible but more tragic to me then a symbol of that bird being pure evil. It's like push and pull of author not being able to decide just how much inspiration from real life animals they want to take. Also I happy you mentioned the steretypical misscharacterization of corvids. Not so fun fact: On a quick study of ornithology I did in my highschool we learned the really terryfingly brutal birdies were the great tit birds. You want birds that are big on cannibalism, those are your guys.

i dont plan on writing xenofiction but i feel like this was very informative for writing anything in general!!! very good will be taking tips and tricks to heart!!

I cannot overstate the euphoric vindication in my heart that not only has someone else read this book, made a video about this book, but also thoroughly detailed why I absolutely despise this book. It was the first time I realized a book could be bad. Not flawed, not weak, not just not to my taste, but straight up bad. Also, thank you so much for pointing me in the direction of so much xenofiction I never managed to find. Can't wait to check out Fire, Bed, and Bone.

What's most ironic about the vilification of scavengers is that human meat consumption in modern societies is far closer to scavenging than to hunting. When we go into a supermarket, we don't buy live animals to tear apart ourselves, we buy dead meat. All the more baffling that we would see it as bad when animals do it...

Them calling crows stupid reminds me of E. Nesbit's "Wet Magic" where the sea kingdom of the mermaids also have other anthropomorphic sea life in the kingdom and the porpoises are portrayed as idiots. Even though dolphins are the smartest animals in the ocean and rival apes in intellect?

I think that another good example of handling darkness exceptionally well, especially darkness that seems too horrific to be real, is Come and See, a 1985 Soviet film directed by Elem Klimov, with the screenplay written by both Klimov and Ales Adamovich. The latter of the two was a Belarussian partisan Second World War (or the Great Patriotic War, as it was called in the USSR and is still called in Russia), to call what he saw the stuff of nightmares is a disgusting understatement. After the war he was one of the writers of the book Khatyn, also known as I Come From The Fiery Village, which is about the 1943 Khatyn massacre. Adamovich used his experiences as a partisan when writing the screenplay. Combined with great sound design, good directing, a strong story, and phenomenal acting, the resulting film at times seems like something out of the biblical interpretation of *Hell.* The things portrayed in this film seem *unreal* in their gravity and inhumanity, yet no, this is the kind of thing Adamovich *saw.* It runs counter to a lot of the films from my country that seem so gung-ho and pro-war, often portraying it in some positive light even when trying to be anti-war, by not only barely having any fighting, but holding NOTHING back. It *shows* the horror of war, fascism, Nazism, all of it, in a way that no movie I had seen previously even came near to, besides All Quiet on the Western Front. Come and See is a film that is not only a masterclass in how to handle morbid subject matter, but a damn important film that I think everybody should view. Not enough people know about it, let alone have seen it, and what makes that worse is that it's free with subtitles on RU-vid! This is the link: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NJYOg4ORc1w.html Apologies for my ramble, I love this film and this video, as well as how well you tackled dark subject matter and how it was portrayed in Downfall (which is another great movie, might I add) really struck a chord with me.

I lost it at "Senseless murder! There's nothing like it!"

"& tasted warm iron" is the most creative way to say the bird drew blood! Subscribed

I’ve not watched any of your videos before, but I have to let you know: 悪い(warui) does indeed mean bad, but 本(hon) is book and 鳥(tori) is bird! 😅 I’m so sorry, I couldn’t let this slide

That certainly was ... something. I clicked on the video just to have something playing in the background, but found myself utterly captured. The style-adapted passages of other authors were actually painful to listen to. I'm not usually drawn to xenofiction (I learned a new word today), but even so your analysis was really enjoyable; as well as your despair at the author's lack of skill. You gave me some good giggles throughout the video. Thank you for that!

Honestly I'm a believer that most boring and bland fiction could easily have good adaptations. So if Disney DID make an animated version i bet it'd be decent.

Regarding the importance of prose - This video really made me appreciate the video lectures on writing my mom had me watch as a kid. I don't remember what the course was called, but it was taught by a guy who basically would challenge students to think of more descriptive synonyms for ordinary words. "Said" became "whispered", "relayed", or "shouted", "saw" became "noticed", "watched", or "spotted", etc. The point of this wasn't just to create a clearer picture, but to help lessen the amount of words needed to explain what was happening to the reader. He also taught why lines like "Call me Ishmael" stand out and have impact, why the way a writer organises facts and details can actually change the meaning of those facts and details, and how to make your writing illustrative, instead of just informative. He also made the same point about repetitive word use, which was another reason to challenge students to come up with new words for the same ideas. One really useful trick I think I learned from him (my memory's a little foggy on this) was to read every sentence you write out loud. If it doesn't sound right or flow well, if you stumble over any of the words, rewrite, move some words, switch out for some better synonyms, add some alliteration or contractions, etc. to adjust the rhythm until it reads just right. Books are symphonies, sentences are songs, words are notes, and punctuation marks are musical notation. Everyone has a different taste in music, and writers are going to have their own prose, but off-key is still off-key. I learned a ton from those videos, and they still influence my writing two whole decades later.

I came here from watching your Shrek and Balto videos and I must say, you absolutely opened my eyes as to why my writing has felt subpar. As an amateur, and I do mean AMATEUR writer, I always get the impression that my sentences are not fun to read. I do try to stay mindful of my word choice and sentence variation but this video finally made me come to the realization that I am utterly terrible at the whole "show don't tell" thing. I always write like I'm submitting an SAT essay so it's no wonder why I always feel like something is missing from my writing. Thank you, Cardinal West.

Oh! I really liked your video on xenofiction and was intrigued by your shorter breakdown of this book, since I hadn't heard of it before. Excited to hear more about it and why you dislike it!

Bonus Derp Point. "Council of Owls" .. The collective noun for owls is *Parliament* That joke writes itself and .. He missed it.

These are excellent writing tips and criticisms. Your suggestions and analogies are equally matched. To echo other commenters here, this is the best instructive video commentary I’ve seen on writing practice. Cheers! The pacing beats of your asides, interjections, and humor are all quite entertaining as well!

It's always a great day when I see a new upload from you. I honestly enjoy hearing you talk about an awful book even more than one you love, just a lot of fun to hear about everything a book does wrong. Almost makes me want to see this but with the Ancient Solitary Reign series. I've looked up about Disney buying the rights and found out that it is either cancelled or on hiatus because of uncompleted negotiations with Woodall, so I've been feeling rather down in the dumps ever since. (Also, big ups for that Ghost Stories reference)

I just found your channel and this is a great way to kick off more awesome content

As someone who enjoys writing truly, the information you shared about prose is appreciated.

Are you ever gonna cover Guardians of Gahoole? I think that ones pretty solid and I read it often as a kid after being introduced through the movie. Even if it likes repeating exposition on the worldbuilding and owl biology which I think is like just so kids get the context for each new book. Its not like badly done cause its for kids I think its just being cautionary to them having information between books.