When I dared point out BP behaviors, I’m a gaslighter. When I restrained her from punching me in the face, I’m the abuser. With professional help, I’ve escaped the BP blender and things make sense again. RU-vid needs more videos like this. Thank you.
Yeah it's hilarious that a Borderline will tell you that don't do this, that, and a whole list of things. Well if you don't do these things then that means you don't have Borderline Personality Disorder. So disingenuous...Oh but I still need the label to be a victim.
@@Somenondual At first I sought professional marriage counseling to save my marriage. After a short time, the counselor saw through the allegations and diagnosed her BPD. This, of course, was too much accountability for her. She blamed the therapist, stopped going to counseling, and we are divorced now.
This is the thing I worry about the most with BPD sufferers and it's why I don't associate with them in any kind of personal way and avoid friendships with them. When they get into rages, if they're around people who believe whatever they're raging about, it can be really bad for the non-personality disordered people around them.
They aren't all bad. Some do have their issues undercontrol. Not saying they don't affect them anymore, but they understand triggers and how to handle them appropriately. I'm sure you have had borderline around you and not even know they are. They don't have distinctive marks or something on them😅
My ex wife managed to get a divorce based on a complete pack of lies! It was so so sad because everything she said I was the exact opposite, she is a Borderline.
My ex convinced almost everyone i knew that all she was doing to me was because she loved and was looking after me since she convinced them i was depressed, autistic and a cheater. The fact that all of my loved ones believed her hurt the most.
This happened to me. From Australia. Went to prison, and now find myself back with the borderline. It's destroying me. Once they have you trapped the system will allow them to falsely accuse and abuse. Can't take much more
Australia is the worst with all that right now. Seen so many people in and out while I was in there. Doesn’t take much to go back in once your in the system unfortunately. Only a wrongful accusation, you get locked back up no questions asked, sit there waiting for court or parole for a few months if you are lucky. Stay safe and stay out, I know it’s hard as I’ve been there myself. Luckily I left the country, it’s a blessing in disguise. God Bless.
I was always treated as a bad person. It did ruin me. As much as I smile and try to be good to others, I get treated--the same way eventually over and over.
Same. My mom now trying to convince me I'm a good person but realising the damage by others has left an irreversible mark so now I only listen to Allah.
Yes even on a public and National level affecting millions of people Like Hillary Clinton and her whole group of Believers and followers actually paying for false dossier and misinformation to falsely accuse an innocent man, smear him and slander him The whole Russia gate fraud that was perpetrated on the public and still believed by many She even got over 50 of her flying monkeys to sign a document saying that Hunter Biden's laptop was fake and Russian disinformation Then think about all the people that believed it and voted for her Incredible how these mental disorders can be so powerful, so effective, and their lives can be deceived by so many, it can change the entire country the entire world, and create Wars and kill millions of people
Smear campaign did a life altering trip on my life. I finally recognised this and just how fully it caused a total ruin. Well. I let all who participated and did not ask if things said were true…heartbreaking but I let them ALL go. That was so hard.
My BPD ex of 10 years who is also a psychologist posts quotes like "first butterflies in your stomack then mental trauma" WHAT? WHAT?! I never hurt here physically or verbally. What kind of accusations are that? Not only that i was brutally discarded and she monkey branched right next day, and now those phrases 8 month after? That is too much. What a person can think of themselves after such claims? Holy smoke...
This subject of false accusations is way more complicated than the evil maniac (BPD, Narcissist or Psychopath) that goes after your head. The judicial system PROVIDES the scenario for them to execute these false accusations. I was accused, went to jail but God delivered me in an amazing way. Everything was dropped and the psychopath ended in shame and defeated.
Glad to hear your outcome. But all the hell and abuse you went through before that materialized is not ok. So the person that was defeated and shamed more than deserve it.
@@jescowhite3708 thanks for the supportive comment. And I wasn't justifying the things I went through as OK because the goal of taking my life wasn't accomplished. They were terrible and evil. But I did want to make clear that if it wouldn't be by God's intervention I would it be swallowed by the wickedness of this situation. I'm also confident and deeply convinced that evil of this magnitude (mothers and judicial system separating children from their fathers) doesn't get overlooked by the One that has.....the FINAL word.
I'm facing the same issue. Not sure if my defense attorney believes me or not. I was falsely accused of domestic assault and it's her word against mine. She has been easily lying all year and I have evidence of such. Do you have any advice on dealing with the legal fight on this? I pleaded not guilty already, if the judge doesn't drop the case it will be going to trial.
@@fastrivers812 here we go. Your lawyer doesn't have to believe you. Court battles have ANYTHING TO DO with the truth. And unfortunately, the "word" of your ex wife has more weight than yours in the court scenario. Domestics or family disputes are designed to favor women. Man is perceived right at the beginning as guilty and a potential criminal just for the sake of being a man. THESE ARE THE FACTS. My advice to you is the following. You need to request to your lawyer a layout of his/her strategy on your case. This is fundamental. Next, you need to have MORE THAN ONE legal point of view in your case. DO NOT go to court with just one point of view. You've mentioned on having evidence of your ex's lies and manipulations. Don't think that this evidence it's a slam dunk. As I mentioned before, you're dealing with a HIGHLY deviated system that do not relate with truth. This evidence you have needs to be TESTED as useful by your legal representatives. If they are useful you need to demand from your lawyers how this evidence is going to be use WITHIN THE CONTEX of a strategic narrative on your defense. Finally and not less important, discuss with your lawyer the angle of initiating an offensive attack on your ex. If there's a chance here I HIGHLY recommend to take this route. Why? Because as long as you keep a posture of JUST defending yourself, this is the posture that feeds this corrupted system. And again, A LOT of lawyers play this game because they are part of the problem. MAKE SURE that your lawyer is willing TO FIGHT ((attack) your adversary. If your lawyer isn't willing to do this and/or is reluctant on laying down a COMPLETE narrative in your favor walk the f#*ck away from this clown!!!
Hi David. Still have that B... revolving her life around attempting to destroy you. While you are still helping folks to move forward and have a better life? It never ends, guess she misses you in her own way. You're much appreciated, don't give her an inch. This b.... is awful, should get a life of her own but she won't. Just a horrible person, with no life of her own. Hope she reads this. Take care David, you helped me in my life, bless you.
My told me to my face that he would blame me and make up lies. When I went no contact he did he rang my work to tell them I abused his kids. He said that I trashed houses when he did it. He is saying I have had relationships with people when I haven’t. Worse thing is I think he has started believes his lies. It’s been horrendous I can’t even defend myself due to what he might do next. However not responding to him for 3 months has improved my own emotional health. Feeling stronger everyday ❤
Hi David- Thank you for this video. This is an ugly & difficult topic that not many are willing to discuss or explore. Public smear campaigns are beyond torturous. They are meant to make the target implode.
Ive been Stalked so much I have had to stay off of Facebook and move Country...Who? My daughter, My son's ex wives, my Brother, my Step Father, and boyfriends... it's terrifying!🍀Smear Campaigns are actually Stalking too...😢
I don't get the stalking thing. I really don't. I don't see the appeal of stalking someone you don't talk to! I'm sorry you've had to go through what you've been through with the smear campaign. No one should have to endure that kind of thing. I won't support smear campaigns. I support you because you have helped me so much and keep helping me and others recover. Thank you. I'll always see the good in you, David! 😊
Thank you Terra! The recipe is simple and its to get attention. No life at all. Addicted to the internet. Obsessed on target. Filled with so much shame, must fool people to be a hero and accepted and make friends. No moral compass at all. No conscience.
The strange thing is the absolute support they get,especially if the person gets law enforcement, or hires an organization, basically they handle the PR, make sure others smear ,spread it,and the strange thing that all these people purposely ignore is,you can't confront anyone, they won't confront you,can't go to police and say these people are accusing me can you look into this,or sit down with those Involved, it's specifically designed where you can't speak out,it's controlled, I just get name called,everyone is rude in the community, get stalked,there's no way people don't see the red flags,I believe it's more important that they are part of the social group,they make it popular ,or something, it's hard to explain, make it popular to be against me,I get teenagers laughing and having fun stalking,bonding over the harassment,they all bond over it.
My ex smeared me all over town, even across countries. Blamed me for everything wrong in her life and claimed she didn't feel safe around me. But when noone was around, she would want to talk, be close and even invite me over. She stalked my online profiles, bank accounts and anything to do with me. She admitted that she was lying to everyone but could not undo it because so many people believe her now. Begged me to accept all the harm coming to me and forgive her because she couldn't stand up to her lies.
@be643 There's not one excuse for smearing like that!It's done only for a couple purposes, there's no relevance excuse, at the most you might talk to people your close to about personal things,maybe close freinds,or people you believe you can trust,it's part of bonding,explaining maybe difficulties you've gone through, but going around telling people things just so others will look down on that person is out of order,but it happens everyday doesn't it.
I just broke up with a couple of (now former) friends with this. Exhausting, mental vampires. I did so much for them, and in return all I got was drama and accusations out of the blue. I swear, the more people I cut ties with, the more peace of mind I get.
Anytime my husband would apologize to me , he would let me know it was my fault, because I wasn’t there, I didn’t pay him attention, I said No to him, I wouldn’t do what he wanted, If I didn’t feel the same about something! Love when you said, You made my Borderline come out! Don’t know if he was Borderline, but it sounds like something he would actually say, cuz everything was my fault! Hope I’m making sense! Thank you for the video!😎❤️
Now imagine person who is under smear campaign - and seeks psychological help and CBT tells him that this is social anxiety. And that toxic people do not exist and that we can cure ourselves with exposure to people and by changing our thoughts - that our thoughts are the sole problem.
personally i have been to jail after i was attacked by my ex and her friend. she just told the police i started the fight and that I put my hands around her throat! it almost caused me to lose custody of my child ay the time.
Mine constantly watched where I was looking and accused me of checking out other women. I could not drive, walk, go shopping with her. Any female that was in my visual range, I was accused of noticing and staring at. When I ordered her pj's on Amazon, she accused me of wanting to check out the catalogue models. This sparked a lot of bewilderment and arguments. To have cascading crazy tornado arguments over somebody on a shampoo bottle or magazine cover or billboard ad or someone walking in our vicinity.
Borderlines are completely insane. *I mean completely.* The smear campaign that I was the abuser when he criticized and shamed more and more as we got to know each other. A big muscly aggressive guy and turned a large part of my social circle against me. Edit: He was in the core of the social circle and me at the fringes. One of the biggest mistakes of my life as this guy helped me out when my flatmate and the owner of the house flipped out and I got scared and had just been in contact with this guy.
That's a narcissist. Borderlines do not scheme or plan anything. We act on our emotions, we are to chaotic to plan anything, let alone do a smear campaign. You need to educate yourself
Thank you so much.... i think alot of us really need to hear from someone just how risky this stuff is... i did. Thank you david. Ignoring red flags.... feeling sorry for people.... and a whole bunch of other stuff... theres nothing you say that i dont agree with... my self worth must be so freaking low man.... ive felt numb... for the past 30 days... am all of a sudden now just breaking down just hearing how dangerous loving the wrong person can be....
No doubt. Another question is, did you hurt him, and also, did you hurt him more frequently than he hurt you; if so, can you be honest with yourself about it? Not saying that any wrongdoings justify his wrongdoings. If he hurt you, then he does need to seek help (that's his responsibility to pursue). If you hurt him it is in your best interest to get help for yourself also.
This happened to me in a couple of my relationships. My bpd was used against me. I was cheated on several times and was made to believe it was just me being difficult because I have bpd. I learned in therapy to protect myself and not let myself be walked all over anymore. I used to stay in abusive relationships because I was scared to be alone
The root is demonic . The Jezebel spirit I evil look up spiritual warfare . The ddvil came only to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus came so that we can have life in abundance. Talk to God . If you are accused believe in Gods justice. Psalms in Bible Psalm 27 out loud prayers. 🙏🙏🙏❤️
All of my faith prayers patience didn't work, in fact it only triggers their demons and makes them worse. The only reason people who are Christians get involved with such people is because they didn't listen to the Holy Spirit warning them in the first place and they were not obedient to what they already knew not to do
I was bawling after our breakup and posted an instagram video about my feelings. She called me the next day and said I was a narcissist. She was diagnosed with BPD. Today she was supposed to come get her final things. She did not show there is at least 1200 dollars worth of things she didn’t get. She told my family that I lied about being abused my her. I never said that she did my family saw me change and overheard the mental abuse. Then before move out day she accused my dad and brother of wanting to harm her while she was moving out. I knew after this I could no longer take her back at all. Since I have been out I see it so much clearly now. I’m glad I get to move on. She also had no close family members and always was sick.
Hey Kat hope you're doing well it gets better with time but the most important thing is to only be concerned with yourself get back to what make you who you are the authentic you these relationships are incredibly toxic but if you go no contact do coda steps & put a regimen to your life it gets so much better sending love & light through a dark time take care
My ex accused me of threatening her and go a trespassing order against me yet forced me to go to her place to pick up my kids multiple times a week. Anytime she was upset, she would threaten to press charges when i would get me kids which would cost me my job and teaching career.
Some wise words here get a body cam & a car cam record your interactions with the alleged bpd at all times it helps especially if there is a history of criminal accusations do not engage personalize rationalize or get upset remember this isn't about you this person is simply using you as a way to project there own inner most hated self it's extremely common in those that suffer from cluster B personality disorders to do so
That is so true. Lucky for me I had so much evidence against him. That the Law saw right through his lies l. But to all his family and friends, he is the victim and I'm the evil one. How are the family so so blind to them and their lies and fantasy world?
Good to see you Miles. Thats why dates are only in public. Im going to make a video for a checklist when meeting people. I hear you on your concerns but you can't stop meeting great women and not find one you can love. They can say bad things about us too.
God! I cannot believe that you are the only person in the whole world who opened my eyes to the truth about what BPD personality Defacto is. It is clear to me now that I should trash all psychiatric material about borderline that I saved in my Drafts: "You must understand how terribly unhappy BPD-s are; you must help them; you must show them your love, and if you think they may become physically abusive sometimes, leave, go to a hotel or a friend..." So, they are dangerous for you only when they may become physically abusive. REALLY?! Ladies and gentlemen psycho-chiatrists, why don't you listen to a real expert in BPD for a change?! THANK YOU, David! I'm so sorry for all the horror in your life which you skillfully turned into your aftermath life vocation. I bow to you.
Ty for what you do. The breaking point is when he stated accusing my son of things I know were true. I packed and left that night with two black bags of our things. He did spill his poison all over our lives it’s not ok
Seen your other comments on this channel & I am really curious as to what you had occur in your situations, did you meet these women on dating apps? I’ve gone through a parallel experience
Wow I too was beaten for things I didn’t do. My bpd mother lied to my father and stood there while we were beaten. Then you say what I said for years and that’s it doesn’t bother me for beatings I got when I really screwed up
😂😂 it's hilarious how my stalker shares this yet I wondered if he listened to the compulsive liar and the smear campaign part. This video is very enlightening..
My Ex - Part Time G.F will accuse me of gaslighting, being Toxic - Being Mean. Anything really - she's an alcoholic / Drug addict. I go to Jiu Jitsu 5 times a week , run 5 miles everyday - go to the gym everyday. Meditate every morning. She's full of sh*t & definitely an abusive BPD.
I love your videos! That's why I'm gonna throw this bomb here, also 😀 One shrink from the famous McLean Hospital said she won't touch the attractiveness-in-borderlines-issue with a 5 foot stick. She had that stance, I think, because McLean treated many rich kids (equals rich parents). John Gunderson himself said his first borderline (patient? I guess 😀) had "strawberry hair" 😀 Which color is it, can you imagine...? It's not an everyday thing. The Behavior Panel said about Amber Heard that Johnny liked to fly too close to the Sun, and her chaos kind of amused him, in a Hunter S. Thompson way. My point is - borderlines have this magnetic attractiveness. The childish kind, at that. That's why everyone is talking about not being able to get over them. Maybe they were abused because they were especially attractive as a child, also. That's the very controversial stance, I think... And people continue to take advantage. The child thing is now broken, lost, derranged... Sometimes weaponized.
Wow . New sub. This direct "jolt" if you will FINALLY woke me up, its utterly insane (no pun intended) on how she did thee most extreme of these (claimed i pulled a gun on her / Never Happened, claimed i hit her Never Happened) she's the type that would literally poison your dog / puppy/ elderly dimentia laden Aunt (all while telling you how much she "loved" you) it is the most bizarro land hellscape youd ever experience of envy (if you acquire $$ FORGET IT she wants you dead EVEN IF she wont get a nickel of it, so long as YOU dont get another nickel of it) she was professionally diag "ALL OF EM'. " (When i inquired as to "which ones?" When she disclosed this info) She was sexy as all get out blonde perfect face/lips almost body (& a COMPLETE train wreck of CPTSD/NPD/BPD) the therapist said "you'll never have a meaningful relationship with anyone halfway sane"
No grain of truth to accusations against me! My ex committed elder abuse against his mother. Blamed me. Subpoena my kids bank accounts claiming I was hiding money in them. Absurdity! All in the name of self preservation!
I'm currently in court due to someone with BPD claiming serious offences against me. No one seems to take notice of BPD in the UK, almost like it doesn't matter.Are there any published papers on this and are you a professional in psychology?
What do you do when you have a BPD that you've known for 33 years (childhood friend) doing this to you? I can't afford therapy or wait 2 years to get it. This person has so far reached out to a family member of mine that they were never friends with, one they had previously blocked, now trying to befriend them. They've been sending me nasty emails telling me that I'm seriously ill and need help. All I did was tell them that I wasn't happy with our friendship and wanted space. They've blocked me everywhere, I've blocked them back where possible. But they have been emailing the one place I cannot block, my work email. I'm worried, even scared of what they might do next as I know what they have done to others. They write poems about their trauma and post them publicly online. I believed them, I still care about them but only a couple of weeks into the dark side of this and I already feel like I'm starting to lose my mind. How do you remain sane when dealing with this? I have thought about sending them a warning that if they continue I will take legal action, but I don't know if that might make them do something worse. They say that they have CPTSD and that everyone that has wronged them is a narcissist, but everything they do seems to be text book BPD. They were diagnosed with BPD, but have since said that a therapist told them it was never BPD and instead all caused by trauma.
When I get around my family I'm always told just try it you can do this you're just being silly it's so simple pay attention when I'm giving it everything I got to actually do it why do they make me feel like I'm too stupid to figure it out it makes me not even want to try
Just recently discovered your channel so I apologize if you have ever touched on this, but what about us single moms where our children are in one/many of these categories? Having my child go from adolescence into young adulthood, as a single mom, has been devastating and to boot, I now have custody of my 2 year old grandbaby. My son lives in my home with us but does not pull his weight or contribute (despite working) and certainly does not parent (other than to criticize every single thing I do). I’ve been victim of the constant smear campaigns and am accused of things DAILY that is just absolutely shocking. I’m defeated, exhausted and stuck and this little boy (as well as myself) deserve a peaceful environment. I’ve joined groups and taken classes and am constantly educating myself on BPD but rarely find content on single parents trying to cope or deal with our abusive children. Thanks for reading (and sorry for the all over the place rant)
My ex cut herself with my son in the house. And a week later files a pro order against me, comes back to the house before im served tells me she wants to save our marriage and coercively manipulated me for sex and then i get served the next morning, then that very same midday while im being served wont stop calling my phone, while im standing in front of the constable, oh but repeatedly calling my phone isnt harassmwnt cause shes filed the injunction but also has the next door neighbor call a welfare check on me the same evening! All to cover up her bullshit lies, affairs, lies, cheating. Complete borderline narc...
To all those codependents ho feel like victims, the truth is you knew from the beginning what they dealing with I've been tormatized in my childhood I very been in a relationship I was loyal to her I worshipped her like goddess she liked to have control I liked to be controlled I loved her like a mother she left me for someone else and told me I'm miserable spineless to someone with mental illness and she knew where i grew up I still feel tormatized.when she came to my life she liked playing my mother role and to control me just don't victimise youre self I do that but I have the awareness to acknowledge it as a part of my condition and the dysregulation that I feel in a day you wouldn't last a day in my skin
what happens if you tell a BPD ex who split and abandoned you after 7 years, who was also recently diagnosed with a non cancerous brain tumour (prolactinoma) and on dopamine agonist medication (cabergoline) that they have BPD and her mum is an abusive narcassist? Assuming I am correct about what ive said, hope will that play in the BPDs head, especially when you supply them with evidence?
How has this story progressed? I've recently told someone they have every BPD and to stay away from me. I've not heard anything since, but that doesn't always mean good or bad.
Ha. Every accusation i made was based on truth. Just had a gut feeling and found the proof. Tired of being gaslighted. Theyre not false accusations, theyre intuition. Thank god i had good therapists who made me realise i was being manipulated because of my disorder. Stop pinning narcissistic behaviour on borderlines. We are completely different. We act on our emotions, we dont plan anything. Please educate yourself because you are misinforming so many people and causing bad stigma
Nah. That's what you folks do in social networks, even months and months a months after you discard a person. Why don't you just be happy with your new supply you monkey branch to ? You still can't stop posting smear posts and cutting yourself. What a inadequacy. By "you" I mean not you personally of course, but pwBPD that unfortunately had a part in my life.
Also doesn't matter the intentions, narcissistic defences come built in from narcissistic abuse. Do you take accountability because it sounds like you pull the victim card when you say you're essentially just guided by your emotions.
Whatever a borderline accuses others of is what they themselves are guilty of, so read this borderlines response from that same view. It's all projection and a lack of self awareness to protect inner shame.
