How to actually sit with your feelings 

Amazing, Adilah! So glad you shared this with me.

Some people are lonely, why is that not OK? It is as normal as being not lonely. To be honest, I feel much better alone if the only other choice is to be surrounded by idiots and functional analfabeths who do not intend to develop their brain. Then I feel lonelier than alone. I understand if someone longs for company and experiences "being alone" as "lonelyness", with other words, as a loss. This is completely OK. However, it's also fine, simply not to experience "being alone" as a loss, but see the added value of the freedom that it brings you by not being owned, possessed, controlled by ones who only long for power and not your company, because they either don't care for your company or they just simply dislike it, or both.

I like your process. I believe it would work for me too. I am going to try it the next time I feel an uncomfortable emotion. Thank you for sharing that.

If I might interject, and I could be wrong 100%, so I am curious to bounce this idea around in this space. I relate to the comment and the feeling of loneliness, and also the meta-feeling of shame! At that point, while it is super helpful to sit with a feeling all the way through, without fearing it or shaming it, and just know it is a vibration that passes through the body (not forgetting the mind-body-energy link), I think we are missing a key point. Which is that feelings are data points and often point us toward action, often powered by words and communication with other people. Or not. Maybe just takes us to our own inaccurate stories. But it crosses my mind, especially as someone who craves and values and optimizes hopefully solitude as a cherished resource, that a lonely feeling might remind me of my need for connection and belonging and acceptance. If I am holding others in contempt, it is usually shadow work, where I have unfinished rejection and excluded and disliked wounds to heal. Just me. Definitely I am picky about who actually fills my cup. But even with the best people for me, being intentional about communication and boundaries and vulnerable sharing is hard. Good hard though. Like sitting patiently, with positive regard and self-compassion, with hard feelings. Hard feelings, if used to investigate curiously, can lead to hard decisions and transformative change. Which kicks things off again, because face it change kinda sucks. Or feels like it does. Until it doesn't lol

Yes! It's rippling throughout the world right now and many children are being taught these skills!

So glad you shared with us. That heart cracking open again - I know it too. Glad we're on the healing journey together!

So glad you found it helpful, Kassedina!

Yes and it helps me to not identity to much with my negative emotions ( doesn't mean I'm a negative person) As they say ' we are not our emotions'. .

So glad you shared, Ralf! I hear you - so much of what we dismiss has powerful lessons within it if we get closer and pay attention.

So valid - I see you. Thank you for sharing with us. You may also like some of my more recent videos about "parts" work and holding space for that inner child of yours. 💓

@@drcaitlinfaas Thank you

Great work ❤

Wow, what awareness! Yes, it's okay to feel overwhelmed and to then process it. One step at a time. And when we forget the process, we get back to it when we remember, so it becomes more natural. You're doing great!

You're welcome, thanks for commenting!

Glad to hear you could do it at work, David! Keep it up!

Thank you for having open ears to hear it, Rani! I appreciate your message and wish you the best in feeling your emotions. *😀*

I'm grateful for you, leaning into the work! 🙏💕

Thank you for sharing your perspective. 💕

God and Christ are always listening. We also have a guardian angel ❤❤ God is your true inner being. He is hidden in the deepest of your own heart. Trust him and go the way he shows you, always .

Give yourself containers of time to practice it - it doesn't have to be all felt at once!

Glad you shared and happy to help! Keep me posted if you have future video requests. 🙏

I understand, Khushboo. The brain tells a story about death, but you can always remind yourself of your physical location and that you are safe. (Assuming no medical conditions - this isn't medical advice!) I coach my clients through thoughts like these. You aren't alone. :)

@@drcaitlinfaas thankyou so much :) I'll do this

Sometimes I think we have a rulebook for how long emotions are supposed to last. But maybe there is no rulebook. :)

@@drcaitlinfaas thats correct :)) hehe

It's just like working out at the gym, the more you practice, the easier it gets Shruthi! Keep up the amazing work!

So happy you found it helpful, Mary! Love that request on anticipatory anxiety - I'll get that recorded and you should see it in November/December 2021. Be sure to sign up for my emails to get the weekly videos! :)

For me, it helps direct my brain to the awareness instead of getting lost in my thoughts. It also helps me then use my breath to "move" the emotion if it needs to do that. Then I'm not clinging or pushing away an emotion. But test it out for yourself and see what you find!

And your awareness about it will help you grow! Keep focusing on the breath, rather than what the brain says over and over. 💕

Thank you ,can you give any tips in those panicky anxious moments ?

@@Gohan00777 I would focus on the breath, not the thoughts. Relax the body as much as possible and soothe yourself. Those techniques often help me when I'm panicking or anxious.

Have you tried welcoming it in rather than trying to make it shut up? 😀

@@drcaitlinfaas I have to try that. I’m OK. Thank you.

I agree, Seamon! Panic attacks are different. 🙏

When someone asks me these days, "what color is the emotion?" I usually revolt in resistance. I hear you. And I've coached a lot of people who LOVE that question. It gives them access to so much. Different tools for different people at different times. 🙏

You're very welcome! I'm so glad.

Enjoy, Eddie! :)

Sending love! Many facilitators offer sliding-scale sessions - I'd look around locally for some options or search on psychologytoday.com. 🙏

You're welcome! So glad you did too!

Thank you! I didn't make that one up, but I love sharing it - such a good one. Analogies are my favorite!

You're welcome! Yes, you can tie IFS into this by sitting with the scared part and letting it have feelings. I didn't have that language at the time when I made this video, but several more recent videos on my channel talk more about IFS. :)

Glad it's helpful for you!

So glad you commented, Amatielle! Love the Anonymous concepts myself. 🙏

Well said, Diane. I earned an A for effort at attempting to avoid it forever. 😆❣

@@drcaitlinfaas me too, and it almost killed me. so now, I watch this kind of videos, and allow myself to be whatever I need (want) at least once a day. doing it on the spot is still a challenge. so I do it on my meditation time... and yeah, I have a meditation daily since I fell sick from my emotions.... maybe you can share this trick too. have a nice day!

@@dianemoril7612 That's a wonderful practice, Diane! I became a meditation teacher in 2021 for exactly this reason - it's my favorite set of tools to turn to for processing emotions. 💞

Emotions do not feel themselves, humans create them. So why is it so taboo to dismiss them? They damage so much and get in the way of everything

You're welcome, Daisy!

You're welcome, Millie! If you ever have video requests, send them my way!

For sure not a technique to use all the time or something that works for everyone. The point is to feel tension release and more freedom on the other side of the processing. So if that’s not happening, I wouldn’t do it. And I also wouldn’t “analyze” the negative emotions, but feel them. In small doses. Lots of different techniques out there to try! 🎉

@@drcaitlinfaas Yeah, absolutely it doesn't happen. It just becomes harder. Also, maybe analyzing is the wrong word, but surely _thinking_ about them. And most importantly, your penultimate sentence is probably the key: I never knew how to feel emotions in small doses (I mean, intentionaly -- of course it happens sometimes). Tried some techniques, nothing really felt beneficial in any sense. Thanks for the reply anyway!

Thanks for commenting, Sasha. I'd challenge that belief - boredom can arise and be felt without believing you "have to find something to do." 😀

That's wonderful, Adrian! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

I am in the exact same bucket!

I'm glad you found it helpful, Kay!

That can be a great opportunity to have someone hold space for you while you feel it, so you can be reminded you're safe and secure. 🙏

@@drcaitlinfaas but I’m always alone when I feel this way

@@jdprettynails I hear you! I'd keep practicing the tools that help me feel grounded and safe then, even if I'm alone while feeling intense feelings. And remind myself that someone else on the planet is experiencing the same feelings too, even if they aren't with me. Helps remind me I'm not really alone. 🙏

You're welcome, Hen! Happy to remind you of the techniques.

You're welcome!

Not the first or the last, Larry. And I'm the one responding to comments. 🙏

Great idea, Maria! I'll get that on the list, in the meantime check out my guided meditations here - www.drcaitlinfaas.com/meditations

Survive all of your feelings or did you mean something else?🙏

You're welcome!

You're welcome, Emmanuelle!

😄Awareness is key!

Hi Jodangarcla! It does make sense what you're saying. And thank yourself for showing up for yourself even when it's hard. That's amazing, right there. And positive reinforcement goes a long way. I have personally used Betterhelp and found them very beneficial, offering financial assistance to people too. Or you can look for a practitioner on Psychology Today as another avenue. You're doing great - stick with it!

@@drcaitlinfaas thank you so much you’re a saint 🙏

@@Jodangarcla You're welcome, Jodan. As they say, you're light see my light - we both have it! 🙏

You're welcome!

You're doing great work bringing awareness to your feelings - keep focusing on the body and processing them there rather than answering "why" questions for your brain. :)

@@drcaitlinfaas Thank you so much for the positive encouragement, it helps :) I have to trust myself and the process after many storms incl..being raped in 2018, them moved twice, now expensive rental apartment savings going down after losing my job of 16 years but as always it will be ok and yes accept my feelings and moments. Telling myself they come and go and I will make positive changes again. I'm to hard on myself, calling myself passive etc..but for what I went through I'm quite resilient and I will find the right job again :) I appreciate your reply 🌷 Edit and you're right, less thinking more feeling physically:)

Hey RA! There's not one "right" answer, but I like to check in with my feelings and process in different timed containers. So like you said, maybe 10 mins in the mornings and evenings if that's what you feel called to do in your life at this time. For me, I don't "sit with" my feelings all day. I also like to process with facilitators, not just by myself. I've found healing shadow work and working through overeating takes time and titration, not just a few weeks. It takes integration and brain consolidation. Many of the modalities I use at this point have taken me years of building up and I didn't see the effects at first.

@@drcaitlinfaas thanks for your reply! I have so many triggers I wish I can just do this one thing that takes care of all them

@@r.a9876 I hear your pain, RA, sending compassion. I personally haven't found one tool to work all of the time, but I do stay open to seeing what works for me and when to dive into repeating practices.

You're welcome!

Welcome, Ebonie!

Interesting! I haven't studied the link between hormones and emotions.

50 years old.. Id say men struggle , due to being shamed when crying, I recall so many memories as a child, and I watched elders or listened to them…. Then the jokes … it confused me really bad. i struggle with relationships and jobs, I can do the work, but it’s relations I struggle with on and off the job.

Glad you enjoyed, Malte!

Lol I hear you, Rachael!

You're very welcome, Anushka!

And you don't have to do it all alone! 💜

@@drcaitlinfaas true feels like it though....thanks

@@dmgsoultogetherness6667 All brains love to believe that storyline. I hear you. You're doing great and I'm cheering you on. :)

@@drcaitlinfaas dnt make me cry lol thanks

@@dmgsoultogetherness6667 LOL, I tend to bring it out in people. But that's good! Healthy releasing tears! 🎉

Yes. Every emotion is temporary, even when they feel like forever, or even when it feels like a really, really long stretch of time. Sending love. 🙏🙏🙏

​@@drcaitlinfaasthank you so much miss I really need a help from you I shreya from india... I broke up 2 months ago and I have been noticing many things that I am going to list down so I needed help from you so that I can move on and stop wasting my energy of solving things...... 1. Whenever a good thought pop up I get really scared that I will stuck to one guy forever even tho he cheated on me for 2 years form 2 nd year his behaviour was totally changed where he doesn't care at all what I feel...never seems excited to talk but he understood what I wanted but pretends like he doesn't care the relationship feels like I only making efforts....nd whenever I open up about what i wanted he just reply in casual way and afterwards convo move on he always like ok break up then Like he never tryyy....his best 2. Even tho I am saying this I feel like are you sure But I know yess it is true Positive things start overshadowing negative aspects 3. I really don't want to waste my energy in this....because it's so clear that he doesn't love me..and cheated on me ....and he even said I really don't care anything about you... 4. Can you plz tell me some strong phrases...that I can use Because always a image comes in my mind of 2 years back then he said this to you...even tho it wasn't true at all he was just trying to make his image good in front of me... 5. I just want to move forward and to tell my brain that whatever he said to manipulate you by saying I don't want to waste your years anymore you will get hurt....blah blah I just want to stay focused on my present and future and know that he has gone already 6. One more important thing that I told my brain " hey brain it's not important anymore " but the thing is I have to repeat what he has said to me..all the time whenever a positive thought pops up and then cycle repeats of proving myself right 7. The thing I noticed wht am I telling my brain the negative aspects it's like not accepting and taking it's false even tho I know it's totally true...

That's one perspective and if it helps you, keep it. For me, believing that is how I ended up as a brain on a stick, numb and wondering why I couldn't feel much. I'm in an animal/human body that has emotions. Accepting and working with that gives me way more freedom than believing they get in the way. 😃

They're a part of existence that connects the world around you and the world within you. The world under and above your skin. Existence would be awful without any emotions.

@@AkiIka-j5d Well said. I'd add existence would just be different without any emotions.

I'd say it's ripe for interpretation. How do you want to interpret it and use it in your life? What makes sense to you? Where do you need clarification after you've practiced?

Which feeling? Sometimes I think, "Come on, can't I stop feeling cranky sometimes?" But then I remind myself it's part of being human...all the emotions. (And check with your medical professionals of course, if it's feeling like too much / chronic!)

You're welcome, Megan! Thanks for taking the time to comment. 😍

Thanks, Emma!

Glad it's working for you, Vishal!

You're welcome, Callie!

You’re welcome!

Great connection!

Great visual!

Yep, it's just one tool - not to be used all the time, especially if it's more aggravating! ❣

@@drcaitlinfaas thank you for your reply! It’s because my nervous system became more sensitized so it makes it harder

Hi Mirza! Sending love for those heavy emotions. caitlin@drcaitlinfaas.com

That's amazing! Keep it up!

How'd you sit with it, Merishor? What did you do with your body and breath during that time? Try experimenting with those as you sit and process emotions. Sometimes emotions stay put and we have to drop any resistance to them staying put. And drop the expectation that they will change. It's counterintuitive, but it's what helps them keep moving - dropping expectations. Accepting what is.

​@@drcaitlinfaas❤❤❤

So glad to hear, Melanie! If you have video requests, please send them my way!

I'm so glad, Justine! You aren't alone. 💓

You're welcome, Gaella!

Great question! I like to check in with - can I feel any tension anywhere in my body or do I feel numb? If it's just numb, I'm probably in a freeze state and need to wait for my nervous system to regulate back into a zone where I might feel tension / emotions to process. And I can also ask myself, "am I feeling open or closed?" Those are two places to start!

You're welcome, Lora!

You're welcome! So glad to hear this example and how you're making it work for you.

Sounds like it popped up at the right time! Happy for you!

You're welcome, Delwende!

Glad you found it helpful and thanks for commenting, Simona!

You're welcome, Zain! Keep me posted if you have questions.

I haven't seen that before, but it's probably just because it's outside of my expertise. I'd check with your health team. :)

@@drcaitlinfaas I have no support

@@annaberg1200 Sending love! Here's a great resource for finding help - www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/tools-resources/individuals/index.htm

@@drcaitlinfaas I live in Sweden 🇸🇪

Happy to help, Robbie!

You're welcome!

You're welcome, Maximiliano!

You're welcome!

@@drcaitlinfaasJust wanted to say that after I saw you video I went out and what you said that feelings are just vibrations in the body, really stuck in my mind. I then started to have some uncomfortable feelings, but kept that thought in mind, and although it wasn’t pleasant , trying to focus on the vibration, changed everything. I did feel overwhelmed at times, but in a strange way the concept that this feeling was primarily a vibration was both calming and soothing and allowed me to fully engage with what I was feeling. Something I have struggled with all my life. Quite amazing!! Thank you so much again.

@@jayjmoi6744 Love that! And I've found some moments I forget the concept and other moments I remember. Many more moments I remember that it's a vibration these days. 💓

Of course, Mike! Keep me posted on how your processing goes.

Thanks, Cate!

Glad you watched!

You’re welcome!

@@drcaitlinfaas

A great opportunity to practice returning to your current emotion. :)

LMAOOO STOP

I understand, Sandra. Time helps sometimes, but not always. Lots of different tools for different moments.