How to AVOID awkward small talk 

I love to ask, where are you from. Unfortunately, in today's climate, it can get you in trouble like it did Queen Elizabeth's companion Lady Susan Hussey.

Please don’t ask ppl where they’re from 😡Or any personal questions .

​@mihaeladog7187 terrible advice. People love to talk about where they are from. You can either simply ask that and risk offending the occasional person who also loves to talk about but loves even more to call people racist (in which case you've understood they are not worth hanging out with) or you can try to not offend by reframing your question so that it is clear you are talking about however far back they can trace their ancestry. I've not met a single person who is not actually interested in their ancestry. I only realised how special this question was when we had a "how to network" session on a grad scheme upon joining a big4. Our facilitator suggested to ask about something you notice in the person next to you. I asked about something mundane like what they were wearing. The person next to me asked me about my heritage, and we built a far greater connection off of that. And I feel that is what the coordinator was actually getting at.

@@mihaeladog7187 I agree.

@@RVNmaxYou’re delusional 😂

That’s an interesting point of view. I like that 👍

That is great! Thank you.

what also helped me was asking about the place you are in or the event both of you are attending.. it straight away gives you both a common ground... talk about the weather, the venue, the event, the speaker, the topic, etc..

My answer ' Well what really makes it good is that Im going to walk away from you now and not have to put up with your unsolicited inquisition'

I've been there and probably this might help. Every deep meaningful conversation you have will leave you with certain feelings which might make you reevaluate your own life. LISTENING to stories of someone else's life will leave you grateful or inspired and even change your perspectives towards certain aspects of your life. The easiest way to care about others is by putting ourselves in their shoes e.g. if someone is telling me about their family member being sick I'd imagine how I would feel if it'd been my loved ones You can always learn something from everyone

I totally agree with you. Maybe this can be okay advice for someone who is just kinda shy and it's not really a huge deal for them. But as someone with pretty severe social anxiety, I'm plenty curious about people but it doesn't change the wave of panic I get when I walk into a room full of people. Even in a one-on-one situation, that weird, awkward feeling stays for quite a while. And asking a pre-planned question feels dumb and insincere. It's not personal to who I'm talking to so it feels more like both of us are just following a script. Also I think Vinh gives his advice in a way that's too assertive and definite. No one piece of advice is going to work for everyone and it's important to present any advice as one of many perspectives/solutions. There's no way to know every aspect of an issue so in my opinion, information like this should be presented in a way that isn't so black-and-white. Like sometimes I really hate talking about myself because it puts more pressure on me to make sure I don't say anything dumb. I don't like it when people get the wrong idea of who I am. Talking about something else is way less stressful. Almost all of his advice is theoretically good, but unrealistic and oversimplified. I already understand a lot about myself and my bad habits, but ingrained psychological patterns take years of work to crack.

i think the key to avoid "interrogation" is to - also talk a little bit about ourselves and/or make a room for the other person to ask a question

What were they