I started feeling more confident when I realized that the only people I want to impress are the people who already align with my values, and if someone expects me to act pretentious or dishonest to appeal to them, I probably don't want whatever they're offering.
I'll put it this way: I could go into an interview with the mentality that I should say what the person is expecting or wants to hear, or with the mentality that I'm just going to be honest about my capabilities, and if the job is a good fit then that'll be enough. The former mentality destroys my confidence, so I'm less likely to get a job offer that way. Maybe it's different for you though.
AHH! Love this video! I've done some research on this too! Due to the fact that it seems more confident people get better opportunities (that whole what you put out to the universe you'll get back vibe, but I won't go into that) A couple tricks I've tried: Back in the day I changed one of my passwords to 'youareawesome' so that every day when I logged in I'd be telling myself that. Another acting trick I learned is to say the word you're trying to convey 10 times out loud "confident.. Confident.. CONFIDENT!" It seems a little silly but it works for me :)
My way of being confident is to remember how little I think about other people around me, and know that everybody else is also in their own little world and that unless they're my friend or family they likely don't even care what my last name is. And also that they won't remember this in 5 years and neither will I so what's the point of worrying.
Something that significantly helped me when I was 18 to be more confident and come out of my shell was the "fake it till you make it" attitude. I wasn't confident, or comfortable with myself, but I started to pretend I was. The way people responded, and how it made me feel, actually gave me real confidence.
As you walk notice if you are watching your steps. While there is benefit in making sure you don't stumble, it is also a quick way to sense if you are lacking confidence. If you don't have an immediate need to watch your step, bring your gaze towards the horizon, or even occasionally skyward.
I read a comment thread where people wrote that actually taking a shit at the location where your job interview is right before the interview has made people more confident. Proudly walking from the bathroom and into an interview, feeling relieved and light has improved their ability to stay calm, apparently. It also made them feel like they "owned" the place, and has left a mark on the company already. It was interesting, to say the least.
This is probably an awful way to boost confidence but it works for me: I just think of how much what I'm doing doesn't matter. Like in the end we're all going to die anyway, so if I screw up this interview it won't really change much in the grand scheme of humanity or even in my life
The boogie is strong in this ficus. ...And it can be strong in you--if you have the confidence to let it. ...Not necessarily a Star Wars simile, but maybe I get bonus points for including the dancing plant that we all aspire to be? Hehe
It helps me to remember that people actually don't see the inside of me -- they won't know that i am scares shitless if I am not acting like it. Also I observe how other confident people behave and try to mildly imitate them. Maybe very helpful at first, I know, but it is really a skill, the more you practice, the better you are at this. Like, now i can actually talk for a few hours and go out with my classmates, when four years ago i would literally run away. Yeah, progress.
I listen to 'Shake a Booty' to prep myself for anxiety inducing situations. I don't know whether it makes me appear any better but I feel better and that's the important part.
I find that it helps to think you're terrible so you have nothing to lose, like Jar Jar approaching the Galactic Senate. Nobody's going to think poorly of him because they already do
This is super weird. I was speaking to my (amazing) boss yesterday about how I needed to be more confident... The timing in this is super weird for my life right now, but thank you.
Is it odd, that literally none of these work for me? I've tried them all, and none of them help boost my self confidence. That and I can't say I have much in the way of friends, to help boost my confidence.
Being a huge fan of a self proclaimed narcissist (Travis McElroy) IS narcissism really an unrealistic view of your self/abilities? I have always thought it was an unusually high love of self that sometimes can be dysfunctional in some people. I am not terribly educated on the subject though. So if someone else is I would welcome clarification.
cyangreyblack ooh I hope so 😃 update: had the interview and I think it went really well?!!? Yaaas mini Hank Green on my shoulder giving me confidence 😇
I'm not an expert by any stretch, but as someone with ridiculously low self-confidence, I get a slight boost when friends and family show interest in my accomplishments. It depends on the person saying it, but sometimes just knowing that they support you can help.
