Nr. 12 - be honest, but not discourteous Nr. 13 - do not get involved in gossip, do not gossip Nr. 14 - accept the opinion of others, stand to your opinion Nr. 15 - be unprejudiced Nr. 16 - if you argue, don't shout
Video summary: "1 - Be yourself 2 - Learn conversation starters 3 - Give compliments 4 - Learn how to accept a compliment 5 - Use self-deprecating humor 6 - Focus on listening 7 - Ask more questions [preferably smart ones] 8 - Be vulnerable 9 - Minimize complaining 10 - Make everyone feel included and comfortable 11 - Embrace a positive attitude Remember, you can't force everyone to like you."
I like to ask "if you could go anywhere and in any decade or century, where would you go?". This works well because it puts them in a great state of mind, it makes them smile and use their imagine.
People like to be remembered, so saying things like "I remember you mentioning that cruise you went on last year," or whatever pertains to the conversation. Also, sending thank you cards for invitations or gifts. As well as birthday cards and postcards. They are tiny little things but show that you thought about them and made an extra effort to express gratitude. Also, I find using a person's name more often, in a natural way, makes people feel good which is the mission of good etiquette.
@Sven at 6:19 "wow you wernt always that way" erm you still aren't well dressed! I'll be giving you some fashion tips Real men can you look good in a White T Shirt and a pair of denim jeans with casual shoes/trainers??? If yes then you are a winner If no then you have to improve yourself We all have to improve ourselves
I am a woman but i am still eatching this channel because some of the videos are not only for men, most of the videos are lovely, thank you for your good work!
After watching this video I managed to strengthen a few relationships with my friends. Until recently I never thought being vulnerable would be an asset however a close friend opened up to me more and I was able to better understand and help them. So I have to thank you for this video as it really has helped.
I'm reminded to make a much more conscience effort to be a better listener. I find myself often anticipating my response, to further drive home my point, than I do to lending more concentration on truly listening to what the other person is saying and feeling. Yes, it may be a better tactic to "Win" and argument, but not so admirable when the goal is to have a two-sided conversation. An excellent video.
I was always wondering how to be funny without hurting other, I'm a very kind person, and strangely it never came throug my mind to use self mockery as much, thanks Raphaël
As someone with severely lacking social skills and a debilitating anxiety, I automatically feel like I would come across a try-hard whenever I'd try one of the active ones you talk about. Also, you cannot make fun of yourself if you are really insecure. In essence, just be stable, not depressed and normal
Fly Swatter Good point about the bad breath. Some people have chronic bad breath that is not treatable with normal brushing, mouthwash, gum, etc. Their bad breath is caused by sulfur compounds they have no control over. They need to use a toothbrush or wash by Oxyfresh or Closys or Smartmouth, which break the sulfur bonds for about 6 hours. It will change their lives.
Another important thing I have learned could come under listening to others. If someone is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they are looking to be comforted. In this situation you should explain that you are sympathetic and will be there for them to listen to any further problems. You must never follow something like this by telling them about something similar that happened to you; this will make them feel unappreciated, will make them more upset, and they'll probably never come back to you. Similarly, if a friend is telling you about something great that happened to them, this means they trust you and that they are genuinely excited to share this with you. You should show that you are truly happy for them; that their joy causes you pleasure. This is not the time to break their trust by attempting to out-do them with something better that happened to you. Just listen and support your conversation partner. This could be effectively summarised as, 'don't talk about yourself too much.' We're all guilty of talking about ourselves too much sometimes, but when you do notice it happening, a good redeeming sentence is, "but that's enough about me, what about you?"
I don't know, I am liked by most person but I'm not forcedly trying to be - I am only trying to be me and I naturally understand not everyone can like you. It sucks from time to time when for example you really like some girl but she doesn't like you back, but that's part of life. But I think it's a good video for those who have problems to be accepted more !
Not being judgmental is important. When I see the video I came here expecting that Sven would talk about peasants again and how to handle them, etc. To my surprise I found it very humble and useful.
I have found that when introduced to someone and the conversation gets going, to use their name from time to time when making a point. It shows that you remember their name which makes them like you. And if you suspect they forgot your name put them at ease by using your own name in conversation.
Amazing video, I've learnt 11 different elements that are really... I don't know how to explain it because I'm french and I'm only 17, but it's WOW ! More seriously for 2 years I think I'm trying to have such a caracter. Moreover I'm always wearing a shirt and a kind of jacket, and m'y friend at school are stonished, they seing me as a trustful guy, a gentleman and every body says that I'm really gentle. It's normal it's my life philosophy.
I recommended This channel as well as RMRS to My Friends in my Firm, i noticed they tend to wear clashing colours and Dirty Tennis shoes without socks and a nice 3 piece suit to Gala Events and Black Tie events Now their Clothes are Sharp and Crisp, shined shoes clean shaven and hair kept tidy. The firms production Took a massive boost since suggesting this channel 3 months ago. Cleaning up the look and minds of the Agents in my firm was the key to that success Thank you for your passion Raphael!
The self-depricating humour... not everyone can do it, some people take themselves way too seriously. It also requires some confidence to do it. I only recently started this... but I really like people who do it, because they show themselves as human (nobody's perfect).
carry on the good work. i like your videos a lot. antonio has reacted to your video....just ignore it....he is so annoining. his manners n presenting skill, i reserve my comment. thank you. i hv learned a lot frombyou.
Making a genuine effort, at ANY of these things, will put you somewhere near the top of the social skills ladder. I'm constantly shocked by how unlikeable nearly everyone i meet under 40 is. There's an enormous break in social skills starting somewhere in the 80s and it's to the point where I'd rather hang out with the WWII generation listening to their fascinating stories than trying to have an enjoyable conversation with people younger than me. And I'm 42. I'll give a concrete example: my building has a single, small elevator so you're constantly riding with neighbors, and I'd say about 90% of the time anyone you greet under 40 will completely ignore you while anyone over 40 will smile and say hi. If you walk into an under 40 social gathering don't expect the host or anyone else to introduce you to others, or even greet you half the time. Socialize with older people and you will almost always be greeted and introduced to facilitate conversations. These are REALLY basic social conventions that exist for a reason. For whatever cause most young (Americans) aren't learning them and it makes them much less likeable.
Not only there in US. I leave in Italy and I work in a great University here in Milan (the most advanced city in Italy). I go back and forth by public transport as I live 35km far and Milan by car is a disaster. I also noticed how people in their twenties often COMPLETELY ignore you (I'm 44 by the way), even when you do something polite, like on the tube making a bit more room for them (making sure they understand your move), for instance. Well, life Karma will make them bite the dust later, probably.
I believe it had to do with the internet diminishing the social life in a major way. Especially in the US where opportunities for social talks are so rarer due to everyone being forced to take a car to everywhere
As a teenager I know its going to take a decade or more in order to afford dressing like a gentleman. But hey, a gentleman isn't a gentleman if he doesn't act like one so I appreciate these kind of videos, Raphael!
Good video! I agree with more or less everything you said, but I have a minor addition to make: Careful with #10 because there are people who are much more comfortable in the background when in a group situation and they will not appreciate to be put on spot. I know what I am talking about.^^ People like that appreciate it much more if they are approached under four eyes (is that a phrase in English?).
People like these really appreciate it if you say to them "Oh, you're so silent! Come on, say something!" It works best if you immediately interrupt them when they finally say something. /sarcasm
I find that being able to make fun of oneself and joining in the laughter is a great way to break the ice. Humor is one of the best things to use in almost any situation.
Hey Raphael, I’m a young guy from Denmark, and I wanted to know where I could buy a dupioni silk suit like the grey one al Pacino wears in godfather part 2. I’ve looked many places for a tailor, but I don’t think we got that kind of quality over here. So where would be a good place to buy a suit like that?
Hey, Mr. Schneider. I love watching your videos and I love every tip you give, and I would like to ask, could you do a video on dressing well with medical eqipment on your body? I suffer from type one diabetes and because of this, I require an insulin pump that must be with me at all times (connected to me by tubing and a needle that's usually in my waist or stomach). There's a clip so I can put it on my waistband, but that ruins my silhouette and creates a visible bump under my coat whether it's on the inside or the outside of my trousers. I've tried wearing it on the inside of the waistband of my underwear but that's also awkward, and the weight of it creates a visible box shape when it's in my pocket. A video on this kind of thing for people who suffer from the same problem or also have similar issues/require special equipment that can mess with the look would be a dream come true!
Hello Raphael! I want to ask you a question : I'm currently in high school and want to be a neurosurgeon when i graduate. I think of buying a gold lapel pin with the esculap (the sign of doctors) but i'm afraid it might come out as too pretentious. What do you think? PS: Great video!
Great video! Ask questions: like is the guy at 08:53 really wearing a left handed watch (crown) or is the photo flipped? And why does it look better flipped?
When I saw the title I didn't think this would be very good, but I actually liked it! A lot of this is good advice for dates too. I think for a man on a date it's important to give the impression that you take care of your problems rather than being too out of control. I also like to ask people what is one of their favorite books, and why, or ask them about their favorite movies since movies have replaced books for a lot of people. You can find out a lot about someone's personality and character from the reasons why they like the things they do, and literature is good because there are likely to be specific reasons why you like what you do.
Maybe these extra tips work for you: * Give value to the other person ( eye-contact, listen, pay attention with the purpose to be eager to learn from the other person, this creates a bond) * Don't focus on getting a positive or negative response, this is to never pressure the other
Usually when I get a compliment, I am self-deprecating and say something to the effect of, "no, it's just that the zipper on these pants is old. My eyes are up here, by the way."
I have a question or if you can make a video on it. When it comes to luxury furniture what do you believe is best for a man. I have a pretty good income and I have some ideas of what I want. Chesterfield is more of my go too. But other than that could you do a video on what is your thoughts on designer luxury brands like Versace and Bentley furniture etc things that are more know for making luxury clothes or cars would you say their furniture would be a great option if you can afford it. Also chesterfields while being very nice in the summer is so hot that its very uncomfortable for my friends and often need to wipe it down.
I find it humorous to think of a high school student going up to another and asking "Did you choose your profession or did your profession choose you?"
Your engaging smile makes up for the ill-fitting turtleneck and the fact that your grandmother picks your clothing. You also do a great job hiding your accent. Fun to watch! Keep it up! 😁 I'm sure I'll be more likeable after watching this!😁
Imraan Dawood you can definitely talk about movies that heavily involve cars like The Fast and The Furious or American graffiti for example and maybe point out what style of cars you like, and then ask what style cars they like, or vice versa, you can talk about what genre of movies you like and ask what genre they like and maybe point out some good car movies and ask if they’ve seen them and also start talking about your favorite car in one of those particular movies. Just some food for thought.
Hmm, one situation to consider. I'm someone who likes to ask questions and I haven't typically had someone react negatively to this, especially in a work scenario. However in the past I had to work alongside someone who would gather requirements for a project and would then explain back to me what needed to be done. He preferred to do it over conversation only, but he was not very good at public speaking and would use frustrated or accusatory language anytime I had to ask him for more details about a given requirement. It really felt like I had to have a perfect memory in order to communicate with this person. Any advice for how to deal with this situation elegantly?
