How to Deal With Difficult People

Подписаться 57 тыс.

Просмотров 20 тыс.

50% 1

Hello My More Melody Family, I hope this video came right in time for you for the holidays!
Summary:
Three Levels of Relationships:
1. rarely know: online, customer service, drivers
2. acquaintances: colleagues, church people, people you volunteer with, friends
3. close friends, parents, siblings, SOs
Closer people are to you (level three), the more influence and power they have. These people are the most difficult to forgive and the easiest to hurt.
Humans and animals respond to trouble with fight or flight.
Staying is better than flight, but flight is better than fighting.
Try not to take on more difficult people than you can handle because you'll want to leave or lash out (fight).
Genuine compliment, benefit of doubt, genuine interest, a listening ear, a gift.
Once kindness becomes a habit, the only times you need to be careful are when you are pressed to your limits (holidays, bad days).
One day we can look back and be proud of how we carried ourselves around the table, in the car, in the workplace when we encountered difficult or cruel people, which in the grand scheme of things is a very small blip in time, even if it seems like it takes every ounce of energy to be kind in the moment.
Why Care?
Everyone is connected. Their kids will be employed and date in society. Kids and animals suffer under difficult people. A little effort goes a long way. The best things take work, but are very simple in nature.
----------------------
Being nice to waiters and waitresses even after bad service is a great thing, because even though I've never served, I never know if they were overworked that day, had too many tables, or if they have a difficult personality and life has been beating them down. Either way, I want to be extra nice because we will probably never see them again. This is the best policy, to give people the benefit of the doubt, to treat them like we know them. On bad days, people need the most kindness. Even strangers.
----------------------
Connect With Me:
Facebook: / crmelody
Blog: www.thesimplebr...
Twitter: / thesimplebrief

Опубликовано:

28 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 86

@Hazel_Fox22 7 лет назад

You hit the nail on the head. Do the right thing. Just stop and think about it for a second, then do the right thing. Not always easy to do, I know, but when the day is done you can go to sleep with a clean conscience.

@MyBlackDolly 7 лет назад

There is just something about you , always calm n relax. U are very special and inspiring

@thefrancisfrenchichannel8100 7 лет назад

Dear More Melody, people who are difficult towards others, are people that are sick of people. And don't RESPECT their own intolerance for others by getting time alone. Obviously they don't know how to stop interacting. The best thing for them to SEE........ is someone that knows how to get away from toxic others. This is THE BEST way to help yourself, AND the difficult person @ the same time.

@deniseayres3409 7 лет назад

Reminds me of Romans 12:21 ..." Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil but KEEP conquering the evil with GOOD"

@r.z.608 6 лет назад

I love this.

@daniellemurgida6556 7 лет назад

I love your style and your flow. Thank you for being YOU 😊.

@joygross 7 лет назад

Thank you for the reminder!

@tvsma 7 лет назад

Great video, Melody! That color looks so good on you! And I LOVE the plain, beautiful tree! Merry Christmas!

@eugeniaisraelian-oliva7763 6 лет назад

This video was spot on! Loved it!

@thanhdevries9213 7 лет назад

good word for Christmad. merry Christmas God blesd

@amyhurley5303 7 лет назад

I'm enjoying all the little glimpses of Pat the Cat through the tree :) You speak with so much wisdom that it has me curious...how old are you?

@scorson74 7 лет назад

How do you feel about someone who deletes you on Facebook, then wants to add you back after three months because I'm her brother's fiancé? She thought a meme I posted was about her, and it never was. She added me back, but has yet to like, or comment on my posts, and that was three months ago. She has been very negative to me ever since and honestly, it had nothing to do with her.

@MoreMelody 7 лет назад

Someone was catty to me too on Facebook. I started watching their feed and realized they were really good at an off-and-on hobby they had. So I went out of my way to point that out on their wall, and she said it made her whole week. A compliment or asking people about themselves goes a long way. It makes people feel appreciated and cared about, which is hard to come by in life. I'd figure out what she values (maybe the way she looks, maybe something in the meme). Then you can find what you really like about her (because people usually excel in areas they love) and compliment it, especially in front of family members. There are no guarantees in life, but you will be a great friend anyway even if she doesn't reciprocate. One of my favorite quotes is by Abraham Lincoln: "Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"

@CalmVibesVee 7 лет назад

Shannon Corson that sounds challenging dear one. Keep being a giver of mercy & love expecting nothing in return and let that be part of something that might help inspire her to walk toward the light. It sounds like she has some hidden insecurities and she probably did the only thing she knows how to do. Keep being kind and giving of love - it's what we all need in our wounds. Much peace & perseverance to you dear one. Merry Christmas. 💜

@trishawhitehouse4226 6 лет назад

Perhaps you can choose to totally ignore the fb drama. It’s what happens when you see her in person that counts. As her brother’s fiancée, that means that YOU are engaged! Congratulations! You have far more exciting and romantic things to do than be worried about her right now. All you can do is, be polite, do what Melody suggested- find something to compliment -and live your happy life with her brother. I have a similar situation that has been going on a long time and silly me , really struggled with not taking the bait! ( responding catty for catty) Not directly, but I noticed how I managed to throw the back handed barb in with others, and was never proud of myself. Don’t say anything about her negatively to others, though you really want to. I pray like crazy for this person for blessing , health, wisdom..and every other good thing I can think of. Pray for her, then let it go..and have a fabulous honeymoon, and joy filled life. I would do whatever I could to keep thoughts of her to a minimum, and good boundaries. Most likely, and I am just guessing, she is used to having a certain amount of attention on her, and your beautiful self comes along and sort steals her limelight, and guess what, you are the Bride! The bride is the center of attention. Include her as much as you feel comfortable doing so she feels a part of it, and not left out. When a new person enters the family, old roles get displaced, and you have to make room for someone new. Many people have trouble with the restructuring of family. It might make her feel pushed to the side, or bring up some past trauma if there ever was a divorce or remarriage in her childhood. Sometimes, the little boy or girl inside us acts up like a brat , even if we are grown people, because those childhood wounds get triggered. We may want to be “ the princess “ forever. Much joy to you and your future husband.

@webarts4you 7 лет назад

I'm a firm believer that all people should be given second chances, however, my sister chose to walk out of my life recently when I very gently stood up for my grown kids who she has bad mouthed for 40+ years. She walked out of my home and my life - her choice - I forgive, but will not forget this time. :). It is sad at the Holiday time, but again, her choice and my kids are so much happier with her not attending family functions now. it was hard for me to let go, but in actuality, I'm much happier now as well. So, when appropriate, letting go is a good thing. :)

@HannahJoy333 7 лет назад

Pamela DuBois definitely! There is a balance to everything. Letting go or dismissing people too easily isn't good but holding on too long isn't good either ☺.

@MoreMelody 7 лет назад

When it comes to people that are closest to you, it's a personal thing, as I mentioned, and leaving is always better than fighting. My exceptions are: The way I handle my FB newsfeed is to curate it, even though I don't delete people. The people I live with or that are my best friends, I am even more careful because they influence mood and thoughts very heavily. I don't cut people out completely, but I will limit them if they are affecting me negatively and I can barely affect them positively. For really negative people, it's important that they are added in as you can handle them, and not close enough where they can add themselves in whenever they want. Not only will they reflect you being that close, of what you feel is okay, but the negativity or drama will affect your mood and productivity, which is bad for either of you.

@TijmenJanssen 7 лет назад

Letting go is perfectly fine, just always leave the door slightly open when they finally see what they do wrong. You can still love someone lifelong and never see them again. Deciding not to be around toxic people does not mean there is no love anymore. But shutting the door completely on people doesn't just affect them and it will not make your life any better, that's the same as ignoring your feelings, it basically is the same.

@pameladubois 7 лет назад

Tijmen J. - I agree about leaving the door ajar - I've always done that in the past and have eventually been the one who always reopened the door - this time, however, I will NOT be the one who initiates contact again. However, I will NOT turn her away if she chooses to walk back through. I will forgive but not forget.

@Mondoshawn 7 лет назад

Your Sister could be my aunt. I think you did the right thing. It is hard to understand for people from good families sometimes that related people can be bad people too.

@tawnytuppence5573 7 лет назад

Such wisdom!!! Thank you so much. Are you sure you're a court reporter and not a counselor? Haha. Well done.

@glennamartin193 7 лет назад

I'm so glad your such a nice person!! Thank you for an inspiring video!

@TijmenJanssen 7 лет назад

You perfectly described my view of life. Only you forgot a small part (or I missed it): Most things aren't personal, if any. Even if it seems that way.

@colleenanne4032 7 лет назад

So eloquently stated! You have no idea how perfect the timing is for this video and compassionate approach. Warm wishes and happy smiles.

@LovedHappy 7 лет назад

Wow melody I am so impressed by this video and the wisdom you have! You should definitely share more of this sort of stuff! 😊💖 it's really great! Xo kaylyn

@LovedHappy 7 лет назад

I love the idea of 'grading people on a curve' :) I shared a video about tips to reduce holiday stress and some of the tips you share relate to some of mine about butting heads with family :)

@MoreMelody 7 лет назад

You are always so kind, LovedHappy. I always love reading your comments.

@LovedHappy 7 лет назад

Aw love you Melody! I'm happy to support you and love seeing your sweet personality come through in your videos! So grateful you share yourself with us online :) You make this world a brighter, more organized and peaceful place! haha. Merry Christmas! xo Kaylyn

@ciaociao9377 7 лет назад

you are so young, yet so wise! lots of love from Italy 😍

@ItzelHortaCid 7 лет назад

I enjoy your videos way too much! I feel very inspired after watching you 😊 and I'm always looking forward for the next one. Thank you.

@cpa7414 7 лет назад

Hi Melody, I just started subscribing from you. I'd like to find out how you developed all this wisdom. How did you become so spiritual? You definitely is helping me. Thank you so much!

@arborwv 7 лет назад

Wonderful thoughts, advice, and reminders before the holiday season of gatherings!!! Thank you!

@Aphrodite004 7 лет назад

I love your channel and all your videos Melody! Im one of your fans! And i was so happy that i did my happy dance when you liked my italy picture on facebook! Thank you so much! You made my day! And this video couldn't come at such a perfect time!

@janeendaftary8911 7 лет назад

Thanks so much Melody!! You are such a wise,kind person. Always love your videos. You inspire me xxoo

@brendasligar2346 7 лет назад

I love your heart! Way to influence and make a difference, Melody!

@katereaume191 7 лет назад

This is a great video Melody as usual! I agree with everything you said! I always try to be kind because it always pays off in the end. Even if the other person doesn't react the way you want at least you know that you did what was right and can have a clear conscience. Have a great Christmas!

@petitemountain 7 лет назад

Such a great food for thought video! I work as an elementary school teacher and will often work with difficult children. These are really good things to think about for many social situations.

@got2bmetodd441 7 лет назад

Such kindness you always show and this video is wonderful! love your videos!

@patschomann7338 7 лет назад

Very good topic Melody. We all have come into relationships close or distant with toxic people. I like what your said about handling each situation. Everyone has a story and we need to be good listeners, ask questions and try to understand. Thanks for another great video as always!

@melissawilliams4682 7 лет назад

Thank you! I needed to hear this today

@Sveedle187 7 лет назад

Love love what you had to say here. Thanks!!

@MySiamesedreams 7 лет назад

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop-Rumi

@pollydolly9723 7 лет назад

Wise words honey!

@kathyw9256 7 лет назад

Great advice Melody! 👍💖

@BeautyNotes 6 лет назад

What an interesting video from you, Melody. I've recently discovered you and had been watching your videos to wind down. Here is a bit of a different thought process than what seems to have been expressed in your comment section. From what I see and where I stand, this seems to conflict with how some of us understand minimalism (well, it is whatever you want it to be I suppose). I subscribe to minimalism in relationships in addition to practical minimalism when it comes to the physical world. What does that mean? If as minimalists we are able to declutter unnecessary items that do not enhance our lives, why in the world do we not do the same with relationships? We have such limited time on this planet. So, yes--I put down a bad book, turn off a bad movie and walk away from a bad person. Do I ever feel bad about it? Not for a second. I can better spend my time investing in relationships that are far more fruitful. This does not mean "meanness" or resentment on my end, it does not mean any negativity what-so-ever. Let things go, let people go, allocate resources (including emotional resources) wisely. Everyone needs to deal with their own headspace and their own issues. You suggest compliments, gifts, trying to strenuously create a connection where there isn't one. I say--leave people who are toxic to you to deal with themselves and limit/eliminate these contacts. Declutter emotional mess and keep negativity on the other side of the bridge you are trying to hard to build. Sometimes compassion is understanding that adults are allowed to make bad decisions and live with them.

@maryc2204 7 лет назад

This channel is such a gift! Thank you so much, Melody! I wish I knew you in real life. I don't know why RU-vid keeps unsubscribing me from your channel, though...

@melrose718 7 лет назад

I'm watching this on Christmas morning, and what a wonderful message/reminder for all sentient beings...expansion of the heart is always healthier than constriction of the heart...Good will towards all is always a good outlook in life. Thank you for your loving, thoughtful words Melody! Kindness is definitely a bridge of unity. xo

@CynthiaAva 5 лет назад

It's very difficult but I appreciate what you're saying. If you are dealing with narcissists, they only enjoy talking about themselves or "performing" in front of a captive audience. When I see them, I do not want to ask them questions. They have overshared, so I know the answers. I am respectful, but I no longer fawn all over the difficult people in my life. I keep a safe distance and when I have to be around them, I'm decent and respectful.

@WannabeBetter 7 лет назад

Melody. I enjoy all of your videos. But this video is by far the one that reaches down to my very fiber and resonates with me. Thank you for sharing a message of second chances, and seeing the good in people when so many people are so quick to write people out of their lives.

@bluelove33 7 лет назад

Heather My thoughts exactly! Excellent comment!

@crystalbyers9931 7 лет назад

Thank you sooooo much for this video! You are so right one,we can not judge anyone, but show kindness and a helping hand if needed. Have a Merry Christmas! And thanks for your honesty too! Hugs Crystal

@jasonbean7296 7 лет назад

interesting. I don't interact with many people at the moment, as I live alone and work alone. I'm the last member of my family as well. oh, I have a few cousins, but they live in other states, plus we didn't grow up together. there's no hostility, just distance. the people I do interact with are friends, neighbors and community members. I am relentlessly cheerful and constantly gregarious, so problems are few. one friend has a terrible temper and yells a lot, but he'll be the first person to lend a hand. others are friendly and calm. I think a lot of how we interact with others reflects how we interact with ourselves.:)

@CherylMacKay11f 7 лет назад

Thank you Melody. This comes at just the right time. Merry Christmas 🎄 to you and your family. ( toxic or not). Lol.

@happyperson7090 7 лет назад

I am new at my workplace and two people kind of bully me in sneaky and open ways. It would be extremely hard to compliment them or give them gifts. I tried to be nice so long but it all already went too far. I never reacted with a fight, I have always tried to remain professional as it is a workplace. I honestly don't know what I can do. I have already spoken with two supervisors but without any result.

@ElenaSpanou 7 лет назад

Δίκιο πολύ! Βουνά! Which translates to: You are so right! Mountains of right! :-)

@yochanan5463 6 лет назад

Your a great minimalist . I wish i can apply this and change my life. Thanks to yoir videos. So much helpful .

@dikshyachapagain5442 7 лет назад

Can you give some tips on moving out on your own and some saving tips . How to manage things because i am really struggling i am planning to move out in next six months after my divorce . I am an international student and i will get my Permanent Residence in next six months. I won't have any job after six months i am planning to start nursing so can you please help thank you

@catherinelevison3310 6 лет назад

The topic is so important and your information so valuable that I hesitated to ask an off topic question, but is that your minimalist Christmas Tree? Bare?

@dulcissimetalib6441 7 лет назад

Omg may God bless you for this. I genuinely love all your videos, they are so real and add massive values to my life. Thanks Melody! xo

@camillocci 7 лет назад

i agree and disagree. i always try to give ppl a chance, but if they really disrepect me, or family, im not going out of my way to change their view of me or how we interact. i think its misleading also, if you try to befriend someone without really enjoying them. too many times i can think someone liked me, but were talking about me behind my back, or did not have my best interest in mind. it felt more like they were just indulging in secrets.

@dwebb4666 7 лет назад

Excellent advice. You are a very good - hearted person! Thank you for another great video :)

@ellielovelove7552 7 лет назад

Love love love your videos. So positive, relaxing and interesting! Definitely my favorite RU-vidr and thank you for making videos! I look forward to every one! 😊❤️big fan!

@TheMalteseVegan 7 лет назад

Such an important for these holidays :D

@ladyfae4797 6 лет назад

Thank you Melody for the great tips

@lilylebowsky5908 7 лет назад

This came at the right time. Im finding im ALWAYS correcting my parents, angry about every decision they make, find witnessing the struggle they experience due to their decisions soo hard. I dont lead by example so at times preach thing i dont do, even so after years of preaching pushing angering ive achieved nothing. They have not changed at all but i find im too short tempered when around them :/

@kimbrown7992 6 лет назад

Lily Lebows

@hollowlegsalvage 7 лет назад

I live by this--- it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice. Many people may not appreciate this to it's fullest. But it was my attempt to deal with bullying when I was younger. I might say it's another way of saying to give someone the benefit of the doubt maybe?

@MoreMelody 7 лет назад

I love that, Kendra Jo! "It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice." It takes a special person to give kindness to childhood bullies and some exes. That is the highest level

@hollowlegsalvage 7 лет назад

Melody, I really appreciate the directness of your videos. They have really given me some guidance over the last month. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

@dizzyk54 7 лет назад

Great video! Thanks! Vicki

@suh-lihwu3572 7 лет назад

thank you very much for sharing

@kellymburton 7 лет назад

Out of focus :-( but great content!

@yeseniasolis4042 7 лет назад

i do it ! i stay away from those plp.

@kathicallahan4496 6 лет назад

Wonderful advice!

@Ginab33 7 лет назад

i've been encoutering sooo many types of people and it's so hard to try to teach them the right way, when they are already in the wrong state of mind. I need more practice in dealing with an angry stubborn person. Thank you for shedding some light on this subject!!! Love it

@Ginab33 7 лет назад

my boyfriends relatives get under my skin.

@MoreMelody 7 лет назад

There are some people that I can never help, but then I know that it wasn't my purpose to help them, but maybe they were supposed to teach me things about myself. Also, their kids, pets, and friends you can still make smile and influence, even if the person whose life is in shambles or who is cruel never comes around. So you always, always end up changing someone's life when you care. You just never know who it will be

@Ginab33 7 лет назад

Its like i know that- but at the same time i feel like at least if i tried and i learned something for myself for next time, i benefited in a good way. As long as i take something positive out of it, it's a positive gain. Even though i didn't get through to the person. I love this way of looking at it thank you so much for the response!! I love your advice :)

@Ginab33 7 лет назад

I feel like this video popped up at such a right time, almost meant to be.

@MoreMelody 7 лет назад

Exactly, Tiffany! One of my favorite quotes is by Nelson Mandela: "I never lose. I either win or I learn."

@xelykoyax2997 7 лет назад

Good advises....

@jessiemadanat5455 7 лет назад

love this!😃

@SarahZenBrady 7 лет назад

Love this!

@africanunicornprincesses7806 7 лет назад

great

@amychen2504 7 лет назад

I think you are such a kind, generous person. You're right, this isn't the easy way, it's the good way. I need to practice a lot more. I'm sure I'll be rewatching it. Thanks, Melody, hope you had a good Christmas! I'm so glad I found your videos!