I think you have "loneliness" and "being alone" confused. I spent four years as a solo explorer (I hate the word "traveler" or "nomad), and you are absolutely correct when you describe your definition "loneliness" (being able to have creative ideas, time to think, etc.)...but that's not loneliness...that is "being alone". Loneliness is a deep rooted feeling. Something that humans, being a social species, all have. But that feeling is kept dormant by family and loved ones; not by "being alone", meeting new people, or hanging out with short-term friends. In the four years I was exploring, I was living in hostels in over 50 countries and all 7 contents; I met 1,000s of people and made 100s of friends. I in fact was rarely alone and also had many wonderful moments while I WAS alone. But I was ALWAYS lonely. I went almost four years without being able to reminisce more than a couple weeks back with someone, having to constantly introduce myself and tell my story, etc. The entire reason I stopped exploring and came back home (and first thing I did was get a dog), was because everything that type of lifestyle gave me...it took away and couldn't give me something far more important; true deeply grounded reciprocal relationships. So please do not confuse "being alone" and "loneliness"...not the same thing.
I hear you - your topic is what I was looking for insight to also. I have solo travelled many years and never struggled finding people to hang with (except maybe the very first week ever), but its the 'truly deeply rounded reciprocal relationships' you talk about that I need. Have you had anymore insight since then about other ways to combat this, except for living a non-explorer lifestyle? All I can think of is having partner(s) who you travel with all the time, but that's not necessarily easy to find...
@Winchestah thank you for this response. Just moving to Vietnam, I thrive on depth not breadth, and was wondering if I would survive, but you're so right, my family will be their for me here (via phone) and when I move home. I need to relish this experience and try and make solid friendships while here as an expat.
Great insights. There's a big difference between between being alone and feeling lonely. I often feel the most lonely when I'm around people who don't understand me. Solitude makes for a solid dude.
I’m also feeling lonely sometimes travelling and making travel vlog but it’s ok still because I make new friends where I came to and sometimes make friends with local to learn their culture and language
Awesome video, I'm solo traveling to New Zealand next month and I have friends but definitely appreciate and don't mind alone time. I think branching out on the road will be a big step for me but like you said getting the confidence and seeing it as an everyday thing will really help change me as a person
Great video Pat! Beautiful shot of us in front of the church in Hanoi! Being alone is something I really becoming to love in my 8 months of travel. It makes you appreciate contacts so much more. What I found difficult is to CHOOSE for being alone. Lots of solo travellers jump in the first group of people they meet and form a pack. Maybe out of FEAR of missing out. I had the tendensy to do so as well. Now I just love to balance the social/soltitude moments.
Glad I could fit that shot of us in there :) You make a good point man. Yes I see a lot of travelers jumping right in to any group that can find first, I see that as more of a way to "cope" with traveling solo. What you mentioned in the form of balancing social/solitude moments seems like a more conscious effort of solo traveling. Cheers mate, safe travels
Awesome video, I'm solo travelling later this year and I know a lot of people are questioning why but there is a huge difference between being alone and solo travelling. I'm personally really looking forward to the adventure and the opportunity to meet a lot of new people!
This is the exact technique i've used for a while! Also, if in my experience if anyone has trouble riffing or feels stagnant, just start hi-fiving people randomly,,,it knocks down the social wall,, great vid pat!
Loneliness is most definitely a bad thing. I think you may be getting loneliness confused with aloneness, which is understandable - but they are quite different. Aloneness can indeed be positive, especially for the more introverted types who thrive in solitude. Loneliness, on the other hand, is the feeling of being isolated, cut off, alienated etc. It is strongly linked to poor physical and mental health outcomes.
I love how the kid mimicked his laugh. LOL that was so cute. But yeah I think when I lived in Shanghai, the local people are the people I miss until this day. I remember telling an ayi that I bought breakfast from everyday that I was going home and she cried and I cried. Like it was a bittersweet moment.
Thanks Pat! I liked your point about making a human to human connection with cashiers or people you would normally have service-type relationship with. Just discovered your channel, and have enjoyed your videos. Keep it up!
I wish I could have been out in Chiang Mai and become your friend Pat! Your outlook is spot on and makes me miss my nomad backpacking days. They will return. Will check out your other videos too :) Live happy dude!
Awesome video dude. I'm desperate to go travelling but my friends aren't in a position too at the moment, so I'm thinking of solo travelling and this is a great help and encouragement 👍🏻 Cheers
I guess the idea of traveling for me is to truly find myself and experience many different things to experience the enlightenment that I otherwise wouldn't find here. I'm from the iron range in northern minnesota where he's it maybe a very breath taking place with beautiful scenery but at the same time after you've grown up there it starts to become very repetitive. I know I do need to be social and talk to people especially in a place where no one knows me but like you were saying sometimes you have to be alone to truly discover thing and come up with ideas. Really liked the video tho. Happy travels man :)
Hey man, nice video! I'm a digital nomad as well! Love it! The hardest part about being social for me is the meeting people and then (mostly) after a very short while have to say goodbye again. I am in general a person who really likes to develop good and deep relationships with people. But can't complain at all. Totally love traveling like this! :) Keep it up mate!
That is a good point and definitely something I ran into as well. When living a transient lifestyle its a bit hard to make deeper relationships. Luckily, with the internet we can easily keep in contact with many people. Thanks for watching!
I am not a native English speaker so I might be mistaken with the terms. I would say there a significant difference between being lonely or lonesome which is an emotional state and being solo or so to say be by yourself which is a state. You can be among a bunch of people and still feel lonely, not being emotionally connected and you can be by yourself and feel rich and abundant. And I think you mix up those two different spheres.
You definitely have a point there! If I were to dig deeper into this topic I'm sure I would touch on this. Mostly in this video I wanted to help combat the state of loneliness with changing personal habits.
I have always been very social. But with that said and can't seem to do public speaking! But getting to know people and learning the cultures in foreign lands would be amazing. Great times..
Hardest times I've had is when getting sick lol. Which I NEVER get sick. However almost always seem to get sick SOMETIME the 1st month of every trip lol.. Cool vid man.. 1st time see'n u online.. Jason.. x digital nomad soon to jump back in
I was feeling extremely exhausted, major headaches, and pain behind my eyes in Luang Prabang, Laos. I thought I had Dengue fever so I rested in my dorm room. I soon found out that it wasnt Dengue Fever but an open exhaust pipe leaking cooking smoke into my room while I slept. Definitely hard times when you are sick!!! Cheers Jason, best of luck.
True Transient oh and the fact, that while on the road , you go on these random WILD binges. It's been 10 or 15 years since I puked when drinking... I puked 3 different times while on my last 6 month backpacking trip lol.. that loninless factor is a big deal.. andit creaps up on your in ways you woudln't expect or out of the blue
Hey Pat! Im starting my hitchhiking adventure tommorrow on the west coast(starting in Flagstaff). Wanted to know if you had any tips for hitchhiking in the west? Thanks for the videos as well, really inspiring!
Smile, make eye contact, and keep your thumb raised! People are more likely to pick you up in the west, in my experience. Other than that, it's not much different than the east. Good luck!
i think that the concept of loneliness as not a bad thing is really a cool idea. I have traveled and lived abroad by myself for over 4 years now and I have never been 'lonely' and I think to be more social means for me to just go out for beers and just play pool with cool people or watch a game with some dudes at a bar and friendships tend to develop from there :) GREAT VIDEO DUDE :)
You're getting there, Budgeteers. Many years ago people that spent a lot of time alone were simply called "loners". I've been traveling/working/living around Africa and Europe for the past 35+ years. Long before most of this new crop of ""be like me" digital nomads were born. Before cell phones, internet and reliable telephone or mail service. On my first job in West Africa it took 2+ days and WWI HF radio technology to get a message to me that my mother had passed. I've always had friends where ever I've lived and as much of a social life as I wanted. The trick is to be able to be alone without being lonely. If you've been a loner most of your life you already have the skills. If you've always been more of a social butterfly needing people like you need air you'll have to work on becoming as independent as you always thought you were.
It does stem from that fear. The more you "interrupt" people, the less anxious you will become about it. And in fact, you will start to realize that you aren't interrupting them at all.
there is a very big difference between being alone and being lonely, if you think you need friends, go spend time where the people are and say Hi, how you doing, mate and then it starts...or if your by yourself...have a good book, journal, walk, yoga, and do things that are good for you and good for your soul
P.S. Im considering wwoofing in Hawaii in about a month and a half, I noticed thats something you did to start you off on you nomadic journey, do you have any advice or suggestions for where to go?
I only have first hand experience on Oahu which is the most populated and heavily touristed island. I had a great time there. I've heard Kauai is an amazing island due to how remote it is and the little development going on there. "True Hawaii." It all depends on what you are looking for really, I'd do some research on each island and see what works for you. I've been wanting to make a video on how to find a farm to WWOOF on in Hawaii but haven't made it a priority yet. Good luck!
Hey sweet video, I'm wondering how expensive/cheap is it to travel to neighboring countries/islands around Thailand after the initial flight there (since I know that is quite expensive from the US). Thanks
Very cheap depending on where you go. South Thailand is more expensive than north, but overall in a relative sense it's a very inexpensive country. Here are my prices from a day in the life in Chiang Mai, Thailand: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-XNRWFNKPugQ.html
Sorta agree, but there are degrees of loneliness - like depression, colds, happiness - where riffing doesn't necessarily apply adequately. . ......but it is a good thing - will add though that when you riff here in the western world, you could be stood off, because people don't wanna connect - scared - but in SE Asia obviously a different thing, plus you have the "farang" factor going as well - I find riffing when travelling as second nature, language barrier or not.....your own crowd back home is the challenge.......:-)
Go to a lot of places by myself and always talk to anyone around me. Must have inherited it from my father, he has the exact same outgoing personality. Oh and by the way love the shirt! It fits perfect.
A lot of people think that this type of behavior is just how someone is naturally and can't be learned. They say "I'm just an introvert." or "He's just an extrovert." I used to be a loser introvert and learned painstakingly how to become more and more social. It's good to know that these attributes can be learned and I'd like to help others learn them. Glad the shirt fits well mate! Thanks again for getting one!
hello I'm planning a trip to Thailand and I'm teaching myself Thai language your video are awesome great advice thanks for all that you do as they say in Thailand keep fighting lol next time khrap khun khrap mark
Firstly, where did u film this? Abandon building? Secondly, love the tash. Thirdly, love your vids, keep it up! I don't get lonely, I'm too introverted to care about social interaction but I still meet a lot of awesome people, when they start the convo :P. Edit: Just realised you're actually in a barn, I need to catch up on your vids!
How deep do you feel those relationships are when riffing. I am an ENFP and have a hard time with small talk with people. I just moved to Vietnam, and I know that it is going to be a hell of a go for me, because I require substantial deep relationships.
It's not so much about creating deep relationships from the start, it's about changing how you interact with the world. Molding yourself into a more social person in order to create more opportunity for deep relationships.
I am Danish and moved to Bulgaria, alone. working from home. it's very hard to be social here as no one speaks a word of English German or any other language.
If you are going to college try to leverage traveling for school credit. There are many college programs of that nature. If not, save up money and do it!
I travel with home made scooter. Its unique and i am never on foot and its a fantastic icebreaker. I go to hostals that have TV in the room, i look for whores and i talk to people that appears to be symphatic..
Thanks Bro I listened to every word.. Sooo True .. "once you've tried connecting with people - its like an "adrenaline" perfect word to describe it.. some.people dont get it.. travelling solo - but i recommend it - i love it - very healthy..
