To the person reading this: THANK YOU for being here and adding value to our world 💖 Hope you have a blessed day filled with joy, happiness, health and love! 💖
Also I wish the best for you and beloved ones. You are right, everybody is reading that is a nice person and deserves to enjoy life (excepting the boss who fired me 7 months ago!)
Hi Echkart ! YOU have been the master to me for 4 years now ! If I had not found You on RU-vid by accident, I am not sure I had been able to live my life being present ! I went through a horrible suffering for many years, fighting my ego ! I am gratefull to You for Sending out all Your healing talks and meditations! Namaste !❤
There are states that use this collective victimhood and inflict suffering to other communities continously ! And this results of course in a vicious cycle of aggression , pain and injustice . Everyone suffers in the end. This is the evil power of the ego . Ego is extremely dangerous . I wish that all humans would become conscious of that. Thank you for all your teachings 🙏
I've been dealing with the loss of a family member and other family are upset with me because I'm the executor and they feel the will is "unfair" to them. Long-term grudges are being resurrected, by the same people who always seem to have "victim stories" of how they've been hard done by (one uncle has been this way as long as I can remember). It's triggering my OWN feelings of how THEY aren't being fair to me, lol! So this video was very timely. :) I do feel the "story" of victim-hood often comes from traumas, which are real things to acknowledge (I myself have done trauma work to free myself from the grip of the pain body) but when it becomes WHO a person is it's destructive to them and others, too.. As humans we do need a sense of self, of some level of control/autonomy but I'm so grateful for Eckhart and others who have taught me that this True Self comes from the abiding space within. From that place I'm reminded that whatever these people "do to me" it's about THEM, about their "identity" and nothing really to do with me. And maybe I can even start to have compassion for them (a little lol). Namaste everyone
Your post is timely for me. thank you. i was in the grips of a trauma painbody and although i was aware and could observe it, i could not stop it from becoming reactionary.
@@slporter722 It's very hard when in the grip of it! I think maybe the way into being able to observe it is to start with self-compassion (it's ok to to that, real self-compassion isn't self-pity/victimhood). That helps me at least, stops me being upset with myself for my reaction, softens the reaction, stops the mental spiraling etc.
As the person in my family who will be the executor, but also the youngest child and only female, this is a scenario that I would not be surprised about. I admit I have spent time worried about this future scenario, and did some mental practice to prepare for it.
When understanding is possible then healing can arise. Thank you eckhart for showing how this understanding is. 🙏 blessings for anyone who has this understanding and for those who have yet to receive this message as intended. 💚🌟🙏🦋
The ego is intrinsically weak as it subsists solely on a diet of fear! The need to feel superior to others, by whatever means, no matter how petty or nonsensical, is fundamentally fear-based. I like to talk about the "3 S's": the ego is concerned only with its own Safety, Security, Stability; the ego is attracted or addicted to Suffering, Sacrificing, Struggling---as these provide portals through which the ego builds its own (false) identity & 'earns' the attention/sympathy/praise of other (likewise unconscious) people. We've all met peeps who wear their suffering as a badge of honor, haven't we? The ego is inherently incapable of making any love-based choices, namely decisions that align one with one's own Truth, one's authentic Self.
Very true as usual. My mother, sweet and so good person, wears this victim's dress and never takes it off. This fact makes me lose awareness and presence very often when I call her. Less when I go to see her because I force 😁myself to remain present. Being a victim I find it such a waste of life and energy and so useless! However, it is also true that if I lose patience and presence it means that I am NOT PRESENT AT ALL and this is given to me to go even deeper ❤️ THANKS for always being there Mr Eckart Tolle 🙏💓
Well, I know it too. My mom often does the same. It is a sort of defence mechanism. Being consciouss of it most of the times I let it go but sometimes I lose patience and have to utter a word or two about the annoyance of her playing those ego games. Does she understad it ? I don't know ... ;)
@@jacekmiksza505 Thanks for your reply! Yes me too lose patience as I wrote, now less and less, anyway I perfectly understand you . I felt terrible sorry and my mother too suffered from it and this was the thing that made me suffer the most. Seriously, hurting others out of distraction, certainly not out of will, is NOW unbearable to me.There has always been this feeling of transcendence in me. I have always looked for it since I was a little girl and Tolle's teachings have been a real revelation for me. I have always looked for to know what WE REALLY ARE so I observed all I could, I was reading all I could but E. Tolle teachings have been the keystone. Now when I see my mother or call me if she catches me off guard (you know life as it is) I stop for a moment and say to myself "stay PRESENT". IT Works. It's the simplest thing in the world and we make it so hard! Your words are undoubtedly the words of a son who loves his mother so even if they were said in a difficult moment I am convinced that she knows perfectly well that behind your words there is only love, nothing but that! I am convinced that you are a wonderful son! 🙏✨🌟⭐
@@veraintuizione6497 Yes, thanks. The reason behind those words is not that we want to fight back, but that we care, that we love, as you said it. The worst that can happen in any ralationship is indifference. As Osho once said "...if someone no longer cares to express any emotions, not even anger with us, then that relationship has died completely... " And I see so much indifference around ...sad. E. Tolle is certainly an amazing mystic, par excellence, but it was from Osho that I have absorbed most of the wisdom. Maybe because I came across his teaching years before Eckhart, over 20 yeras ago. But I don't compare them, not in the least. Both are unique in their own ways.
@@jacekmiksza505 Yes they are unique and the same thing contemporary. At the end of the story there's only Consciusness...I perfectly understand what you meant about relationships and indifference...So true and SO said... We are living a robotic times, these are very strange times where a cold indifference and obtuse sloppiness are accompanied by a ferocious rage. They made a god out of money. I don't think they know what they're doing. Do you remember the words' Jesus ?Father forgive them because they do not know what they do. " But we know which path to follow .. Do not worry we have to remain present in the Truth. This only matters.🙏🌃🌟⭐✨
Thank you for your invaluable wisdom ❤️ starting from my childhood I’ve had a lot of victim identity and tons of suppressed anger and sad ness resulting therefrom because I didn’t fit in school and also grew up with emotionally neglecting parents. It’s not easy to grow up in this unconscious society and some of us experience it more than others but therefore we get the chance to become more conscious! ❤️🌸🙏 Every suffering is a chance to awaken more
I.. Should bookmark this and watch it daily. He had me ego-monologuing. Objectively I agree with everything he said, but subjectively I felt rage and resentment for my past and how I was treated by "my detractors" at the time. But I need to find a way to move on.
The past isn't real. It's just a story we tell ourselves. The only thing that's real is this present moment. Yes, the past may have caused the present moment to be what it is. Maybe if your father hadn't re-married you would have had a different life, other opportunities, gone to medical school, been more... but even those people are never happy either. You'd probably be one of them too. Ultimately it doesn't matter because there's no going back and changing it. It is what it is. You can begrudge it, letting the past continue to affect you in the now (through your own narrative to yourself). Or, accept what is. It's the only thing that's real.
This is why I stopped watching anything on narcissistic abuse. I was beginning to "see" that everyone in my life was a narcissistic abuser. They say cut these people out. And I did. Until I had only one person left. Who also showed narc tendencies. And I realised that I would just end up completely alone. Someone said in a YT video comment about narcs that "don't you people realise how hypocritical you all are?!" And I thought about that. At first I was hurt (my victim identity/my ego), but I then realised the identity that all the narc victims had was collectively looking down on all these mean people as bad, and they themselves, the nice people, as good. Not only that but the victim mentality was hard to give up, some other people were saying, like me, they were addicted to "learning" as much as they could watching narc videos every day. Now I geddit. It does give you your power back in a way. But at what cost? To lose everyone in your life? To split up marriages, break up families, lose your children, have no friends and no job? Cos everyone is mean to you? I say no. Sure, keep your distance with some people, don't engage with them very much, don't react to their goading, don't show emotion.. but they are still just people. Like us. Of course, if there is imminent danger to life, leave them and seek legal advice. But all this other stuff. People being constantly mean. There must be a better way to deal with it. And here, Eckhart makes sense 👍 and provides answers. And you know what, once you feel your own sense of inner peace, not much these mean people do, can upset you any more. And I feel that they can sense your newfound inner "confidence", your serenity, your peace and they stop baiting you. They pull back. Their narc radar for you turns off. They either implode and back off, or just go and find someone else to inflict their unconsciousness onto. 😊👍 Oh and BTW, this message needs to be out there for those other "victims of narcissistic abuse". I will certainly be advising people of it. Plus, if others don't agree, that is fine with them. I'm not pushing my opinion on anyone who doesn't want to accept it. Also, if you have serious abuse in your past, you could report it to the authorities. I was recently asked by my psychiatrist if I wanted to report historical abuse and I said no at the time. I often think about that. It would be a way to get heard and be recognised. But I am more interested in finding my own inner peace.
I've seen the same tendency (trend). It's been my impression that people obsessed with learning more about Ns are distracting themselves from more fundamental & productive questions about themself. Typically, when you hear the story of their experience with an N, there were tons of warning signs, seduction. There is a definite co-dependent type that is more easily mesmerized by an N; they push each other's buttons in ways other people don't. Victims of Ns often make the N out to be supernatural, demonic, evil to explain how the victim succumbed. IMO, that's a cop-out. A way to avoid asking hard questions about one's own self. "How did I allow this to happen? How did I not see it? What was I getting out of it?" Sure, they were lied to, manipulated, preyed upon. Ns are extremely counter-dependent. They "supply" their need for a mirror through others in that way. Some people more than others fall for it. (I've seen people who have, as you described, endless Ns in their life. Seeing Ns under every rock they overturn. Once again, why that one person and not everyone else seeing the same thing? It goes from blind acceptance of a real N who others would see through pretty quickly, to seeing Ns everywhere where most people don't. This kind of mentality should be a warning sign that it's not the N who was the entire problem.). Usually there's some kind of co-dependency problem within the victim. Or, the N stirred some past experience to re-live again. Or, a fairy-tale belief that something can be extraordinarly special (knight in shining armor; love-bombing is "real" affection/valuation). There's so many warning signs that were usually ignored. The'd be better served contemplating that than developing an unnatural fascination with what is essentially mental illness, imbuing it with concepts of evil, demons. They give the N free room & board in their head that way. Ns lack boundaries -- and their victims often do too. That's where the positive can be found. "No contact" means no-contact. If a person can't get the N out of their head, it's that person who has a problem they'd benefit more from than becoming a "narc hunter."
No just something the ego needs to hear. The real you doesn't have any problems or unconsciousness to deal with. That all happens with who you think you are but you are not really who you think you are. The mind is what thinks "I" and personalizes that thought. Where the true Self doesn't think I, and thus never says "I" but it is the true I without the word or self-concepts. So with that being said, it is the mind that "needs" to hear this message because it is the mind that doesn't understand its own true nature which is nothing mental.
Thank you for saying “all” and thank you Eckhart Tolle for saying “some have been victimized more than others.” Several mainstream narratives are fighting for who is most victimized, many are projecting when they tell people to “stop acting like victims” when really they’re just tired of hearing about the problems of marginalized people, and they feel victimized by always hearing about things they don’t care about. They do this without realizing that it isn’t weird for marginalized people to want to speak up. Ultimately, the best solution is for individuals to awaken to their own egoic tendencies, I am grateful for the opportunity to do so in my life. Then one can begin to respond to people who are either just complaining or legitimately struggling for dignified survival with more grace and understanding, less circular arguing.
You really need to BOOST the volume and straighten out your wonky WiFi, in these videos. Thank so much for your continued outreach. This was another deep one.
People also don’t understand that effects follow causes…whether in this life or a past life, we did to such a person what they are doing to us now….if we react, we keep the kamma going and suffer accordingly. Of course if we don’t identify with anything, we won’t suffer but for most it takes a lot of effort and practice to realise non identity and for those very rare few who ‘get it ‘ relatively quickly, it is because they put in the effort in past lives.
I trust Azrael and the source God to guide me through the process of grief, fully processing it so I can move forward in my life. And I ask him to help me remain open to better things, situations, and people coming into my life.
I think Eckhardt would allow that we mourn what was taken from us and acknowledge that others may have treated us badly. Sometimes, especially as kids, we were not responsible for the neglect or mistreatment. But after allowing ourselves to feel the pain, we must then forgive and let it go.
I have often thought: "Your parent(s) may have broken something in you, but you have to fix it; they can't fix it." The difficulty is a lot of what Eckhart profoundly describes is deep in the mind, almost unconscious, but if one keeps working with the mind, it becomes more conscious.
ECKHART...WHAT ABOUT WHEN SOMEONE LITERALLY FEELS AND LIVES WITH THE PHYSICAL PAIN OF CHILDHOOD ABUSE? IT INTERFERES WITH MY DAILY ACTIVITIES AND MY WORK. AND SOMETIMES IT JUST PISSES ME OFF.
It's not enough NOT to be afraid. The major step is to recognize the innate power. It's always been there. It's a matter of recognition. Look for it and find it. You always had it. Check out the latest video of Gregg Braden, from yesterday: " directed mutation". Our DNA is in fact scientifically proven to be made of the ultimate power. It's our belief that's messed up, not the body nor the DNA 🙂
Well you are always, all-ways in danger of going to die, sooner or later. And the older you get, the more the statistics don't work in your favour either. We all are going to die at some point! Maybe that is why you should embrace life, as it comes, and don't take it for granted?
Eckhart, many of your recent videos recorded in this studio have audio issues. Like an echo-y. garbled sound. I hope you can fix it because they're hard to listen to.
I want to ask anybody who understands how you deal with victimhood identity, how you heal yourself from it ? I understood presence is very important, but what you do with it, what is the step by step ?
This video sounded like a judgment. You feel a victim, thus it means you feel superior. You create an ego identity, but you can go beyond it. How? This video didn’t make me feel better. It made me feel worse because so far I wasn’t able to overcome the anger, hurt and resentment that I have toward people who abused me. The trauma caused by abuse should be dealt on egoic level, at least first, through talk therapy. How many people are able to go beyond what had happened to them and do not identify? It’s easy to go beyond ego identity when you do not have a heavy load of traumatic experiences. When you have a ptsd, lot’s of trauma and you’re being haunted by experiences, telling somebody “are you a victim??” is a another form of abuse.
I hope a good therapy and reliable friends can help you so that one day it’ll be possible to accept what had happened as it was and start a new life where you have the power over your life as life only happens in the now. Good luck 🍀
From my own experience: the only thing that's real is this very moment. Everything else is just a story we tell ourselves (about what happened, or will happen). Ego is strange because people typically think of it as grandiose, vain, bragging, perfectionist, self-love (to the extreme). But, there is a perverse form of ego which is all that, but expressed as a victim. "I can't get over my own loss. I'm erecting a temple to my lost self, and will mourn at it forever." When you think about it, that is just as much _ego_ as someone full of themselves in more typical (show-offy, vain) ways. I don't want to minimize the reality of psychology, and how dis-integrated pain, shame, anger (in the subconcious) can affect us in very real ways. But, when you get down to it, it's all a story we tell ourselves. What happened, happened in the past. Our subconcious clings to it as "who I am" and tells us (our conscious mind) this through self-talk, inner-narration, rumination, patterns of thinking. It's a difficult topic because Benjamin Libet (and Dr. David Vago) have proven that our sense of the moment is actually formed 1/3 to 1/2 second before we believe we're sensing it. Decisions, judgements, observations all happen 3/10th of a second before the conscious mind (5% of your mind) believes it manifested the thought. We go along with it like "that's how it is. I'm my thoughts. My thoughts are what make me exist." But, it's not true. Our consciousness emerges from the subconscious (95% of your mind). Awakening is to differentiate yourself from that (to have a "veto" power over your thoughts; stop the mindless autopilot following of thoughts.). Talk therapy and such can do that. But, just accepting that this is how it is, and there are two you's (the narrating self, and the observer self who exists without narration) can do it too. It's painful because the mind ruminates on "the story" for a reason. It's more soothing, understandable, in control. The more a person needs that (perhaps due to past trauma, dis-integrated feelings), the harder it can feel when you accept this is how it is. It's like ripping a security-blanket away from a child. So, in the midst of dealing with this, it can feel rough. It's real that way. But, when you get through it, you realize it was something you did to yourself (carrying it all that time, narrating about it, mourning something excessively). Looking, it will look as insignificant as tissue paper. But, entering into it, it will feel like it's real (because of what we project onto that tissue paper, and believe in it, and use it to explain everything. We give it meaning. That takes some pain and effort to undo when there's a reason for it being that way. But, when it's over, you'll be surprised how it never really was anything. Just a rehearsed and ruminated story we tell ourselves. Why? Because it gives egoic satisfaction. It's control. It's "never getting over something." ("I'm too important to get over *that*"). Not getting over it doesn't change anything. All it does is define who you are in this moment, when that's not who you are in this moment (it's who you were in that moment). I could say more.
Hold those feelings close to your heart . They want to be held . Everything is allowed and you’re not a victim for feeling them. Sending love. I love Eckart but Jeff Brown a very well known teacher feels like you.
@@gilbertgoodman1659 _"So, talk therapy is a way to tell it, to see it, and recognize it for what it is… a really long, sad story… I just haven’t written the ending yet."_ Nothing wrong with talking (much better than thinking -- which becomes ruminating, a pattern of inner narration). I think traditional talk therapy tends to reinforce living in the past. But, that _can_ be the only way to reconcile to the subconscious (integrate it). There's a fine line between nurturing/savoring the past and confronting it, accepting it (primarily that it *is* the past, and we're carrying it around with us unnecessarily, letting it affect us in ways that reality (this moment) wouldn't. It's in our heads. It's nothing other than that. But, that can be something very big. I don't want to sound like I'm minimizing it. It's strange how it's more real than real on the front end, but completely nonsense when you work through it and view it from over your shoulder, looking back.). From my experience, the most influential thing to me was realizing that our thoughts, judgments, choices occur 3/10ths of a second before our conscious mind says "I did that!" That doesn't sound like a lot of time. But, install VLC player and play any video. Use the "j" & "k" keys to add 300ms delay to the audio/video. It quickly stands out how we're not really in control the way we think we are (or, our thoughts are not a product of our conscious mind in a way we think we're "doing" it.). It's like a "ghost in the machine." This is where someone would object that this means there is no free will. In fact, Libet's discovery became overshadowed by philosophical debates like that. It's unfortunate because the real point is: you can individuate yourself from your thoughts. You can cultivate an observer-/agent-self who can exercise a veto power. It's only "no free will" when we go along thinking on autopilot, accepting everything that the subconscious (95% of our brain) emerges into our conscious mind (5%). There is a *huge* difference between going along with this movie playing in our heads, and being "aware" and able to say "no. I don't need to think about this right now." That's more free will than most people have ever experienced. It all starts with being aware of the thinking mind (individuating one's "self in the moment" from their "self thinking/ruminating/confabulating in the moment." The goal isn't to never think (as so-called "non-dualists" peddle). It's just to be aware that you're not your thoughts, and that you can choose not to think. Just because it emerges into the conscious mind out of our conscious control doesn't mean we have to follow it as if it's reality. It's just a story we've practiced telling ourself for decades. It's a habit. But, when you start to break that habit, it can feel like coming off a real/narcotic habit (withdrawals). It's like a pacifier. We're so used to existing in the moment with these stories/habitual "telling ourselves, that it can be rough when you expose it, and start doing something different (choosing not to follow it). There are people who get hoodwinked into "pop consciousness" and how it's so easy. Just "have my experience; get rid of the self; nothing's real, it's all just a thought." I do believe consciousness and reality does leads to that awareness. And, maybe some people without buried trauma can have an instant awakening listening to someone else's hypnotic suggestions about "what it is." But, there are people who have seriously buried trauma who suffer from trying to be awakened this way. The inner-narration (the confabulation) exists for a reason that's more existential for these people. Turning it off can be very rough. They've developed an addiction that they need. It's like "self-medicating" with ruminating thoughts and sense of "who I am." Traditional talk therapy can expose them to what's going on within them so they can better balance the withdrawal effects when seeking awakening, quieting the ruminating/narrating/confabulating mind. When the withdrawal symptoms occur, they can know why and weather the storm. That can be a 2-3 year process and not fun. But, looking back later, it's amazing how what felt so real was nothing but my own thoughts. My own *need* to think those thoughts. All I needed to do was recognize it and choose not to need it anymore. It's that paper thin and inconsequential (but, it sure doesn't feel that way when you're working through it). FWIW: I have a playlist which you and Lily might benefit from. It's basically how I did it (if I could write a "how-to" to myself 10 years ago, "just do this"). The first video is the "guided mindfulness meditation (on the present moment)." That's the process of individuating one's self (from the thinker). The 2nd video was helpful for the withdrawals. If you "view full playlist," I wrote a description about how to "orient" yourself to it. Not really "how to think about it" (the goal is to not think, or think less). But, there is a sense of presence when you do it. An awareness of where you are, what you're doing. There is a way to orient your presence to it. The goal; what's happening as you do it. Sorry for another long one. The playlist description is long too. But, I'm serious: that was the *only* way I can imagine myself awakening. I did it that way. I didn't listen to Eckhart (or anyone). I just knew my thoughts were controlling me. It wasn't until 5 years later that I read a youtube pyschologist refer to Eckhart as being all about this (what I had learned myself). The first time I listened to Eckhart, I was like "omgosh! I know what he's talking about!" If I'd listened to him in the start, it would have been woo-woo nonsense to me. "Blah, blah, anyone can say anything they want and believe it." Same thing with buddhism. I feel like I had the buddha experience. But, if I had come at it as "I want to be a buddhist," then I would have never gotten it no matter how much I read and listened to such teachings. It was something I had to do myself, my own way. IMO, it's not that complicated. It's all in one's own head, and they can get there themselves without following someone else's path. For me, the key was individuating "my self in the moment" from "my self thinking in the moment" (which tends to be _furiously_ thinking; compulsively, too may thoughts, not enough time to think properly about anything.).
@@teahealingprocess6052 _"Any more ideas how to deal with this?"_ I had to re-read above. I can't think of anything (and frankly surprised I was allowed to post such long comments. Usually they ghost.). It just takes time. "Normal" people narrate their existence to themselves. Theyre just not as obvious because it "works" (they don't have as much subconscious repression/dis-integration causing conflicted thoughts, emotions, actions. For someone with repressed anger, shame, trauma, the habit of narrating can be more compensatory, even existential. They haven't just been practicing comfy self-talk, but conflicted and self-sabotaging. They're more invested in it as the only way (they're avoiding something). Talking to a therapist could be wise in such case. Both psychology & mindfulness (presence, awareness) seek the same thing: a healthier relationship with now, less neurotic habits. IMO, Jungian psychology looks more related to awakening. In fact, Jung had such an experience himself around 1918, and kept it secret until almost 50 years after his death (when his "Red Book" was published, and sounds a lot like awakening). Shadow, Anima/Animus, ego and eros & persona are concepts that seem familiar to me. Many therapists use mindfulness in their practice (be sure to find one in that category). Part of the benefit of therapy is talking. Autosuggestion is a real thing. It was discovered by Emile Coue over 100 years ago when he had half his patients recite daily, "every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." They really did get better. They didn't even believe what they were saying. EFT/Tapping helped me and I think it was the autosuggestion part. If you know what's affecting you, just having that verbal conversation (assuring yourself that you know what's going on, it will be ok, it will pass) can really change what your subconscious produces to you. The 2nd video in my playlist is the one that helped me. I changed his social-anxiety conversation into my "I'm getting behind my self-talk. It's destabilzing me. That's ok. It just takes time."). If you view the full playlist, I wrote a description in a way that I thought might have gotten through to me back when I went through awakening.
All your wishes will come true, every wish has its own appointed hour. You can't miss it. Everything you do brings you closer to your desire. or your imaginal act. You get what you think about. ~Much Love from a Law of Attraction RU-vidr💜
This video is so important! I was just meditating on this. Yes, we’ve all been victims to something but to maintain a victim mentality is very debilitating. When repressed memories surface it’s brutal but videos like this and your books help to reprogram into useful energy. Thank you so much for all you do and share it has impacted my life in a massively positive way. 🙏
This is so profound! I’m getting more and more aware of the ego’s tendency to complain in every day life. With every complain you install a small entity of victimhood. If you stop complaining and listen to other people who are still doing it, you can sometimes feel the impulse to add your own story, because it is kind of a competition who suffered the most.
I became so much freer when I discovered I am not a victim...it's not personal. I forgive a lot quicker Set healthy boundaries. Love without being involved...it feels good. Yes, there are times I still hurt from perceived slights but not as deeply or as long.
Me too ! I discovered I'm not the center of the world. Things happen but it may not be because of me. Sometimes what happens is the direct result of my actions and words, even if initially I did not intend them to have that kind of results. An incredible teaching.
Yes forgiveness is more for us, not them. It can have nothing to do with them. It's not letting them get away with it. It's letting *us* get away *from* it.
Yes. We tend to form addictions to avoid our emotional injuries. We are literally addicted to our pain & suffering! Almost to get sympathy or empathetic energy from others.
I have also experienced some emotional abuse from my parents as a child that I still need to fully heal from… it’s not easy but it’s possible…I wish you all the best 💋
I suffer cause i think i shouldn’t live happy while there are children suffering this stuff! I feel guilty as a person who cant and doesnt do anything to help in this problematic. I really hope you fully heal, how have you been doing? Are you capable of love and happiness nowadays? Anyway i can help you let me know. Big hug!
I once read a phrase “the pride of the worm” which catches me sometimes when I identify with bewailing my woes. Beautiful explanation 🙏🏻 I often ask myself if I have fallen back into learned helplessness which is such a delusion.
What was the creepy picture that popped up after he said some people are not good looking about half way through? That was pretty spooky, not a fan, great video other than that
I have a joke for Eckhart. Hopefully most of the subscribers will get it. How do you ruin a field of beautiful flowers? Look for the prettiest flower. 😏
Thanks so much for your insights. I was hoping you were going to address what one could do to diffuse this mind set. I'm guessing it's not a mental transaction as a means to give consultation but to de-energise it by returning to the present even while things seem to be triggering an underlying lack of ease.. I find if I can name the feeling and acknowledge it's a common feeling for many and not to continue to seek to validate the feeling of offence it can take some of the heat out of the initial reaction. Thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks again.
@@luckyPiston You know, I hadn't thought about it that way before. Maybe. And tbh, it's not like that was a total "cure" either. I still struggle with living in the present and being conscious (as we all do). Anyway, it helped. Thank you for that question.✌️😊
@@orbitalpl1 It certainly wasn't easy. It took being away from them for many years. I was able to look at them with empathy for what was done to them. Also remembering the things they taught me (both good and bad) and that they made me see how strong I actually am. It was just such a burden to carry the anger for so long. This all sounds very egoic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing when you're healing from it. 🤷 I wish you well in finding your way. 💜
@@StephanieJeanne He talks about the victim being in a power struggle with the abuser, so the victim needs to recover from being taken over. So if the abuser is acting from a place of extreme selfishness and greed then they are indulging in a perverse form of pleasure. So when you forgive, are you forgiving the act or the mental state the abuser was in ?
Thanks! That was exectly something i've been struggling with, and the thing is this victim identity was rejected and repressed for many years by me and by others, also by those ones who I believed were inflicting that harm to me... So like anything repressed it became stronger, hidden, etc... It is an importent step to admit and to see that identification in yourself vs trying to reject and to deny it. To admit anything that is an internal process of your mind is important, which ego and victim identification also is... which I think some of viewers could be trapped in after seeing your videos, that people could start to fight their egos, which only could imply more conflict and more suffering (who is fighting who?)... But thats because all spiritual teachers use words, which could lead to a misinterpretation.
That conflict of fighting the ego, you speak of, comes from a misunderstanding of what ego “is”. A practice on the spiritual path should always be of a transcendent nature, not a war on the ego. After all, ego is just a mental construct of our own doing. Ultimately, it is only realization of wisdom that erases our false sense of self. Since this is at the core of our own being no one else can do the job for us. When insights dawn in us we know something that can never be undone again. We walk towards higher and higher levels of knowledge and wisdom and that is an irreversible process. It is this wisdom that is the antidote against inferior beliefs such as a belief in a self identity. Along the way it is often helpful to understand what the ego is built on. Victimization is certainly one such building block. Group identity based on any criteria, such as gender, race, social status are all detrimental to our own liberation from bondage. In fact, group identity is an extension of our ego that works to justify our anger, hatred, blame-game, resentment against a perceived enemy. We must remember that if we truly want to be liberated from bondage we will only find the power to do so from within ourselves. We always have the choice to choose a path away from a reinforcement of ego and self clinging. This is an on-going process, moment by moment, rather than an once-in-a-lifetime event. Since ego is continuously manifesting itself our job is to continuously work on those liberating practices that undermine and dissolves our self-clinging. That is the spiritual process towards true liberation. If we wage war on our ego it will only become more and more prominent until a monster is created. If we listen to Eckhart Tolle’s words we will find a healthy way to understand how to overcome our debilitating wrong views about ourselves.
I see myself so clearly in this ego identification of victimhood. Anger is the thing that switches off awareness and has led me into the victim state and blaming others for everything wrong in my life. Thankyou Ekhart.
Every ego identity is a delusion. Determining who you are from victimization by others is not who you are. To stop being a victim it is important to determine who you are without it and continue to grow from there. I love this video.
Thank you, this is so well explained and I imagine it would be hard to listen to some and for us to recognise the victim in us. The ego is so clever, thanks for pointing this out to all of us. You’re doing a great service to humanity.
@@jaymidavern2620 thank you for your response. I called him master of masters more as a manner of speech, it's a personal sign of appreciation I have for his teaching because it was through a very rough time in my life with depression that unintentionally I had an awakening experience, a brief time of enlightenment... And coincidentally I started meeting people Aligned with this and his book the power of now came through dude at my gym that was annoying me that wouldn't stop talking and he told me "I don't know why but I think I have a book that you'd like" (Never seen the dude before). When I read the power of now it was a 100% accurate description of what had happened to me which I was kind of ignoring cause I thought I was going crazy and he*taught* me through his book that this was actually a thing. After that I started practicing meditation and mindfulness and managed to expericne the same a few times after. So he taught me how to interpret my expericne, through his experience. So if I say master, I say it more as a "thank you" but I don't see him now as my superior, I even stopped reading or watching any of his videos to avoid any pedestalizing, and also because I think I've learnt all I needed. Now it's just doing, contemplating, action of what I've learnt.
WOKE: : "aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)" - VICTIM: "one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment; one that is tricked or duped; a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite" WOKE vs. VICTIM - 2 different things
Thank you for bringing this up. I feel that for a while now society has been encouraging and rewarding victim mentality. It may have come from a noble place, from wanting to recognize and be there for legitimate victims, but it has degenerated into something bordering on lunacy in my opinion. Right now the more you present yourself as a victim, the more you are given a platform and people bend over backwards to accommodate you.
I am really enjoying engaging more with Eckhart but I feel he misses a crucial point here. He talks about instances of individual and collective victimisation as memory but that's not how things are. It is a very present everyday lived experience for billions on a personal, institutional and systemic level where people are forced to navigate endemic inequities, bias, discrimination, hatred and violence because of their identity. It is hard to transcend the ego or find the resources to start doing so or focus on that when others are forcing it down your throat, daily, on multiple levels, in negative, hateful and oblivious ways. The ground is not equal.
Realise that you are consciousness; that there is only the present moment. Don't deny the memory, but don't allow a mental idea like "I am a survivor of ____". Instead, "I am John. There is a memory of a past happening. Only the present is real.". Do presence-practice. Past memories may hurt - don't suppress it. But keep doing presence practice to try allow the mind to realise a little separation between past memory (mind) and present reality.
The essence of the victim mentality is not wanting to be responsible for one's own life, and the spiritual food of the victim mentality also comes from feeling anxious about not being able to find someone who can take over the responsibility in one's own life. That’s why I don’t like mainstream artists, they are ALL telling and teaching us how to be a more Irresponsible and more complaining negative people.
