1. Be calm in situations where most people would show fear; 2. Hold eye contact during conflict; 3. Don’t let other people dictate where your attention goes; and 4. Be honest even when it goes against your best interest.
One important thing to know here. In other videos handling more physical confrontations. If the person you are talking to is breaking conversation and eye contact and moves their eyes down to one side (noticed right side is more common) it is a good chance they will chose to attack you. By disengaging and distancing themselves for the conversation they give away that they plan another approach to the ongoing conflict. This has saved me from getting punched in the mouth several times. Many spend time talking as they want to be heard but in a conflict I rather let my opponent talk and even ask questions as they won't think of attacking you when they're thinking of the next thing to say. There are of course exceptions but then it's most likely a planned attack to begin with so always be aware of your surroundings and keep distance.
This guy makes u acknowledge any form of Insecurities that exists, makes it relate to u, with the fact that how u can tackle it. but before u know it completely, or are willing to know more of it now, he Sells his Program at that exact same point. ~Just appreciating the marketing efforts. ~
That's a wonderful theory, and I'd love to see if it works in Mediterranean countries where most wouldn't give you 3 seconds to pause and collect your thoughts so serenely.
Respect is always earned and never imposed or commanded. If mastery and masculinity are topics of interest to you, I invite you to explore the videos shared on the Mastery Order Channel to challenge yourself with some ideas about manhood and to become the kind of man you would admire. We can only better ourselves together, as men among men, so I invite you to use what I share and, of course, give your own opinions so that others can benefit from them as well. Looking forward to your points of view. All the best to you!
The whole point of this video is to sell a product. Read the comments, that's all you need. Some really insightful folk in the chat that can offer more than what is being pushed in the video.
“Attitude is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” Roy T. Bennett 🖖
Both Tommy and Alfie always command attention and respect when in any place but in completely different ways. Tommy is calm, calculating, and unreactive while Alfie is loud, unpredictable, and intimidating. The one thing both share in common is intelligence.
“I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.” Ayn Rand
I think Alfie likes & respects tommy just not as much as he likes & respects himself. but he always betrays him & Tommy knows there’s always a risk of that. Loved it when Alfie set Tommy straight “live by the sword…” he just understands their lifestyle & all the underhand shite that comes with it.
@@nulle.k Yeah, but I'm sure Young Vinny's comment that "Alfie...doesn't give af about Tommy" means that he doesn't care about Tommy's potential to harm him. So yes, there's respect, like you say, but that's not the point you are disagreeing to. And this ConC video shows that Alfie is one of the great gangster movie characters of all time, played by one of the great actors of the last 20 years. (Mad Max, Locke were his masterpieces.)
Here's the problem...you have to BE this type of individual. In confrontations or other high stress situations, it's not as simple as "act like alfie" if you're not this kind of person naturally it won't work!
Exactly! There’s this old saying where I’m from “I’d rather take a sore face than a red face” meaning you’d rather face the challenge of a fight that be embarrassed (red face) for walking away from the fight. When you grow up with that psychology, these tips seem ridiculous. There was also the fact that if you went home beat up, your dad would tell you go back & finish it or slap you for getting a kicking. Characters like Tommy Shelby, Alfie Solomons are products of their environments. It’s not something you can adapt to ppl, you learn it cos it’s your real life.
@@basedWisco715 agreed! If you could just fake this attitude everyone would be an intimidating gangster. Christ knows what happens when they’d actually need to beat someone up or kill them cos they’ve disrespected your pseudo hard man reputation. It’s ridiculous
@@lyndsaycrawford i kn now its been a year, but this is absolutely the truth. If you grew up with a hard life, you have no choice but to be a stronger, harder person. You either are, or u arent.
@bodosam7798 It's scary how much people take things out of context to prove a point. makes things so conveluted, to an extent that the original point is lost. Good examples of this are the LGBTQ community, religious finatics, the telephone game, and the comment above.
A few years ago back in NYC, I was droping off my ex at her place after a movie. As I headed home a guy pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me. I had only a 20$ on me and thought if he got pissed off I was dead. I reminded calm and collected, and started a dialog. Guy responded and we spent the next 20 or so minutes talking about how F---Ed up life had gotten. I remember these words clearly "I was going to rob you, but there's something different about you and it doesn't feel right". He started to walk away and I told him to hold up and gave him the $20. I of course called the cops right after. I got lucky but he still had weapon and was ready to commit a crime. I hope he decided to not do it anymore. Times are tough but we shouldn't be in a position to harm others just to live. Anywho, 580 comments I doubt this will even get looked at, but I was reminded of that day when he was calm and honest with a gun in his face. Feel like it might be harder to lie and convince someone with a gun on you when the person you are lying to can just end your life if they feel wronged.
Why would you give him the $20 THEN call the cops on him? Until he had the $20 your version of events was hearsay at best but with him in possession of your $20 your story has a little more credibility meaning you essentially set him up.
@@Random-sk6hmI was kinda thinking that! Why give him a score then grass him in anyway. Your twenty quid would’ve ended up in evidence. I wouldn’t even pick him up in a line up then get the bastard when he left the cop shop..…without his gun lol
The 3 second rule helps alot. I used to just pop off with my first verbal jab just to prove they didn’t want to argue with me. Over time, I realized I didnt want to win that way. Staying calm, pausing and saying what needs to be said, not what I want to say. Im the type of guy that doesn’t talk much, I’ll show interest in the convo, but not much banter. Then when i speak up, even to interrupt, my words hold more value with their unsaturated rarity. I commanded respect from top level professionals when I knew i was in the right. Dont be a victim, speak up, clearly.
>Im the type of guy that doesn’t talk much, I’ll show interest in the convo, but not much banter. Then when i speak up, even to interrupt, my words hold more value Not really. I've know a lot of men like you and when they finally speak people just say "who tf rattled his cage" then everyone laughs and the group moves one while mister shy and enlightened goes back to being ignored.
@@montybarrington2732 You misunderstood my comment. I speak up a lot actually. I say what others wont. I just don’t need to use a lot of extra time repeating myself. Being the loudest person in the room doesn’t make you right. I’m the guy who asks why you wont stand up for yourself, not someone who just speaks up to whine. Sounds like you need better friends.
1. Be calm in situations where most people would show fear 2. Hold eye contact during conflict 3. Don't let other people dictate where your attention goes 4. Be honest even when it goes against your best interests
As someone who has spent thirty years in public service jobs, I've had numerous opportunities to use such tactics. They definitely work. When dealing with rude, angry people it pays to be cautious with them. Remain calm and collected always.
A favorite of mine when dealing with angry customers is to talk calmly, slowly and the more they scream the lower i get my voice. If they interrupt I let them talk then go back to repeat the same sentence I was trying to say before from the beggining. And if they talk too loud I make a face like I have a headache and tilt my head, close my eyes for 2 seconds then go back to my original point.
People break eye contact and get distracted all the time in the middle of a conversation with me. Not much are more disrespectful than that. While it's on me to earn more respect too, it'd do them good to know these things.
@King Apri - this! But also some people may have more sociopathic tendencies than others, and they will cope with all of it quite easy. In fact they will feel like fish in a water in some scenarios. Applicable to the office/corporate life too of course, and also on the other extreme, to some dangerous places in some cities around the world. Edit: grammar/spelling
Having to do with eye contact and eye direction: While walking towards any location, stare directly at the path you are going to take. People will move out of your way because they see that you have a purpose and a clear mode of direction. It's like parting the Red Sea. I use this daily for work and it helps wonders especially in crowded areas as most people are looking around, down on their phones, or otherwise not sure where to go.
i do this too!! like a lot, even when i’m just walking on the streets and yk streets here in the philippines are very crowded most of the times and people would avoid my direction when they see me walking straight ahead with my head up high and my eyes to the front, mind you, i’m a woman and only 4’11 (yes i’m small af) but it does work!! even middle aged guys here that usually catcalls women gets silent when i walk past them and let me tell you, it brings me so much confidence 😩✨ (sorry if i have grammar mistakes, english is not my first language)
I am still in school and I don't use this in order to look more outgoing and practice holding eye contact. But when I need to get somewhere now, I surely will employ this method
Great content. 1) when you pause it makes the other person feel you are thinking about their feelings or request, giving them some hope. Works in many situations. When you react immediately it makes a person feel as though you weren’t listening at all and that you were just waiting to say what you wanted to say.
Many years ago I took a job as an engineering area manager in the UK. My boss had this trait where he would do just this...go silent for several seconds rather than immediately respond. It earned him the nickname of "Antichrist" with the other area managers. It was extremely off putting in meetings & definitely works to get someone rattled!
I remember when I was too shy to look anyone it the eyes. Especially girls. I never practiced, all I did was switch off my emotions and go for it. Now I look people in the eye like its nothing, I often think I'm a freak. When I'm mad, laughing, or just talking I'm always having eye contact lol I also taught myself to be composed, So when there is a argument (I take seriously) I wait a few seconds and then reply. on normal arguments I just goof around or just get mad. business to personal matters are different. This video was pretty much useless since I already taught this stuff myself. (people need to know when to be serious and when to goof around) otherwise you will die young. oh, and when you are scared, don't panic. Never panic. look them in the eyes and collect yourself. wait and be composed. being collected and composed you can get rid of any danger coming your way. if you panic, you are a chicken ready to cut its head off.
Don’t get me wrong, I like anime, but sometimes I wish someone would say “you’re acting like a f***ing child” to anime protags. Those guys ugly cry way too often. (;
Not really, but I do know one anime protagonist that ugly cries too often, which is Takemichi from Tokyo Revengers. Makes sense though because he is written to be a coward.
If you have ever met SAS soldiers you will understand how this works. They are calm, never shout, are fully ready to deliver overwhelming force but do it very controlled.
Tom Hardy is so entertaining to watch on screen. Enjoy all the characters he portrays from Mad Max to Bane, Black Hawk Down, and my favorite of his; Taboo
My dad used to scream at me sometimes and expected an instant response because he knew I was just a scared little boy. Today when someone asks me a question, I pause and respond in my own time. Nobody tells me at what moment I should speak now.
_ To COMMAND respect is the sign of a very ruthless person who cares very little for the welfare of another. Their importance is paramount. This leads to conflict. _ Tricks do not work when facing wisdom. _ Compassion/Love is the only true answer for all situations. _ Commanding respect is always the wrong approach. I say this from 75 years of experience. _ To give respect is always proper because everyone you meet is a manifestation of the same life that you are. By respecting others you are also respecting yourself. _ Analyzing scenes from a STORY to tell people how to behave is rather asinine. It is not actual life experience. _ To try to act a certain way does not reflect the actions of wisdom.
When someone gets really mad or angry at me, I calmly say: "I love people who show passion", it usually disarms them and gives me time to think about my next move.
Then how many smack you? Just curious cause that can come off as smug not confident. Be careful how you respond to someone angry. Sometimes your attempt to disarm can just piss them off more.
There’s this old saying where I’m from “I’d rather take a sore face than a red face” meaning you’d rather face the challenge of a fight that be embarrassed (red face) for walking away from the fight. When you grow up with that psychology, these tips seem ridiculous. There was also the fact that if you went home beat up your dad would tell you go back & finish it or slap you for getting a kicking. Characters like Tommy Shelby, Alfie Solomons are products of their environments, not to mention they’re fuckin actors. In an actual argument, no one ever lets anyone get their point across. There’s no cue just ppl getting louder & cheekier till someone throws a punch. It’s not something you can adapt to ppl, you learn it cos it’s your real life.
#3 is the one that gets people tripping. When someone tries to take away from what you want to discuss and you take that bait or even consider it, they will subconsciously not respect what you say.
To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
The trick is not simply convey confidence, you want to portray honest confidence. The 3 second rule only works if you are true in your purpose. If you are not, then you have lost all leverage.
Not saying I did everything right but I recently got in an argument with somebody over something that I perceived to be trivial applying this video to my actions in the situation I’m glad to know that I at least appeared confident well trying to communicate that I no longer wanted to waste my time on a friendship with them
That long bit about confidence... one thing that was pointed to, but never once mentioned is called integrity. Standing behind the right thing whether you've enabled it or not, yeah, integrity. It's an extremely important factor in life that has been gasping for breath and nearing death quicker and quicker by the day. I'm not surprised, considering the state of humanity, that it wasn't named.
Just here to share some things; knowledge cant be lost, time is gold, and let me share a quick motivational quote :) "I've never seen a strong man with an easy past" Thanks for your time and have a good one :)
I didn't realize that I already use the 3-4 second rule. And that I speak slowly at my own pace. I don't do this in intense conversation, I do this all the time. No wonder people take me way to seriously
When I’m in a conversation with people and someone butts in and the person I’m engaged with has turned to engage with the other person I walk away and I don’t engage with either of these people again until they engage and apologize. It drives them crazy, I simply wont be dismissed by either of them.
Knowing number 4 may have saved my marriage lol I always took the blame eventually in order to end the argument, and it seems I helped create a monster
My experience is that apologizing if I am wrong does deescalate and saves my integrity. The best tactic I have found for addressing when someone wrongs me is to have them swap roles with me and tell me how they would feel as the recipient while maintaining eye contact the entire time.
This channel is my absolute go to for honing my charisma. The material is so extremely valuable and well put together. I was able to take something that was stressful before, like job interviews, and make it something I can genuinely feel comfortable about. This content was able to help me tease out a quality in myself that I now consider to be one of my greatest strengths. So, thank you! Keep up the good work!
'This channel is my absolute go to for honing my charisma.' - But the fact that you have to use a RU-vid video to develop 'charisma' shows you have none and never will. Anyone with genuine personality can always see through an adolescent who has tried to learn the tricks.
That was fun. Take it from me, these things do work in life or death situations. Those themselves build confidence to know you're ok however it plays out. Principles are dying out, as quickly as mutual respect; living by them gives everyone around confidence in you.
i have always found you can completely dis arm an opponent in a tense situation, by pointing at some random place and excitedly exclaim. Oh look at the squirel. they will b stunned and completely immobile . and you attack.
Obsessed about your channel guys thanks! Can you make a video about fluently speaking and staying on point when you are telling something. You never ramble and always on the right track when you are speaking it makes me think that you might be using a prompter actually 🙈 i know youtube videos are mostly scripted but i would appreciate any advise on this topic! In my videos i always use cuts in order to make the whole thing more fluent 😂 and also how to be “quick witted” could be a topic thanks in advance 🙏🏼Greetings from Turkiye 🙋🏻♀️
On the list of things Not to do like Alfie: When two people have guns pointed at you, pull your hand out of your pocket as if you might also be pulling a gun.
I've been doing most of this gestures since I was young, like it was naturally in my personality, maybe this is the reason why I always been chosen to be a leader in a group, tbh I don't want to lead people or tell someone what to do and lastly I hate responsibility. but yes I can handle stressful situations where others go blank. I've been Team leader,Venue Head, supervisor, manager before I turned 27, but I still prefer more like a non-leading solitary role.
The only two questions you need to ask yourelf are " how far am I willing to go and how far is he willing to go." Sometimes it's best to walk away, or you might end up wearing a grass coat and a headstone for a hat. I'm speaking from real life experiences. Assess the situation and respect when it's smart to step down. You'll live longer.
yeh what we see in movies is make believe, not really the place to take serious life lessons. A quick way to get respect is to floor the other guy, in a 1:1. - not good, it's the only way some people understand. I think there's different "respect" for different situations, not all are violent intent.
A great way to increase your self confidence is working out. There is something magical about how great you can feel with yourself when you see your body changing because of your own effort, it gave me a great boost of confidence.
Direct eye contact states you are willing to listen. People that eye pierce while you eye engage have something to hide or a different motive. Easy side thrust of the eyes is an easy way to disengage their thoughts and allow you to get a thought in. Thank you for your vids and keep them up, please.
How do you stay non attached, and centered when holding eye contact? I struggle with boundaries between self and others, and often in life feeling scattered and overstimulated.
The thing is, anyone who is genuinely confident sees through these little learned tricks and despises the person using them even more. This is clearly something for adolescents.
My older brother enjoyed accepting a bully's challenge with a few, well chosen words. My favorite was when he would get face to face, speak in a low voice, and reply "I can't stop you from trying but I'll break you of the habit."
5:36 I remember when our boss had to mediate me and my collegue about having my collegue aren't recieved a set of copies of booklet for distribution to a certain number of stores. I am shocked that she had to spend a narrow time alloted to us instead of finding ways to cope up with the demand. She kept insisting that I should alloted her a sets of copies of that reason. At that time I am busy counting and binding booklets to be delivered to my own intended group of stores. I said in the mediation, I would alloted a sets of booklets to you first even if am left behind because you are assigned to those big stores BUT you aren't there at that time...so what should I do? I'll wait for her presence to come to our facility just give to what she want? And I said, No! I would rather give it to my assigned stores in order to get their copies. And my boss looked at me, and said you should appologize, in my mind "what the heck I am appologizing for?" In that moment I looked my boss her eyes evading her command. Then my boss concluded that I am a hard headed employee, then I felt puzzled by her utterance and left me speechless. To break the hiatus, I looked my phone then I said, excuse me I have a deliver to be taken with. Up until now my relationship to them revolves on work related and now I felt invinsible to them but that's ok for me at least.🙂
Alfie to Tommy be like: Ahh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was a man. But it was nothing to me but blinding.
Hey guys can y'all please, please do a video on James Spader's character of Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, i mean not only is he a total badass but he's also super smart and confident and doesn't care what others think of him at all, he would be great to do a video on i think.
Great idea. The thing I like about him is his ability to always have the conversation he wants to have. For example, he rarely answers a question from someone when it doesn't align with his goals for the meeting. Instead he briefly acknowledges it and then bridges to a more relevant point.
I don't feel like appologizing when you're not sorry shows low confidence. Appology for me are sometimes just words, which people say to make others feel respected or better. It's not like we're kneeling on the floor crying and begging for other's forgiveness.
While I hope to apply these lessons for personal reasons, they work great when it comes to customer service. Still, I to develop those skills in my profession over time. But when I have had to "go off" on a customer, I never raise my voice, and use pick apart the irate customer's counter-argument (if any). The moment profanity is used against me, that's when I know I "won". At that point, my typical response is to point out their crude-ness before telling them that they can call back when they behave themselves. Works every time.
Repetition is the finest teacher. By 'acting as if' you have confidence, you gradually become more confident. Find role models you respect and study them. Then adopt some traits you see working, but always remain yourself.Truth is, most confident people I ever met were faking it until they made it, because confidence comes and goes.It's not a sin to improve yourself, but it could be to settle for less than you deserve? Best advice is to cheerfully make mistakes until you make yourself a success. At one time, as a known top Salesman, I actually gave Seminars on my mistakes in Sales, which i couldn't have if i was perfect. That way, other people learned from my mistakes and paid me for making them. Nobody is what's on the tin, inside they are all just like you, human, and they all have confidence crises. And i do mean all, and don't you forget it...
Bit late to the party but, hey, all that matters is that I'm in the right spot! Came here for the Peaky Blinders connection but stayed for the impressively expert analysis and presentation. Oh, and I'm joining the channel for much the same reasons. Keep up the great work!
Rolling my eyes. No wonder it's harder every day to find good people, everyone and their 3 yr old sister is running an online store, pretending to be something there are not, or blaming anyone and everyone else for their poor choices.
