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I was never in the friendzone for the reason I make my intentions clear early on. Never accept to be their friend, you gain nothing. If you enter the friendzone she will ask you for favors and use you for her own benefit while you gain nothing. And once you are no use for her I assure you she will cut you off, this is the female solipsism for you. If she doesnt give sex to you there is absolutely no reason to invest your valuable time. Dont involve yourself with women that are not willing to do sex with you. By being their friend you are actually one of their girlfriends. Huge time and energy wasting. Women as friends are a big joke compare to men friends. Male friendship is priceless. Those are the male truth bombs. We want youth, beauty and sex from a variety of women. A woman friend will never be loyal on your friendship. Never. Their hypergamy and solipsism skip men faster than you will ever imagine. You can protect yourself by never pick a woman by a place of scarcity, but from a place of abudance, meaning that you should always pursue more women, having more options to choose, options, options, NEVER focus on 1 girl. Even if you get the girl you like NEVER let your guard down and always talk to other women as well. It doesnt have to be sexual, just keep them around (spin plates) and meet more and more while you keep the girl you deemed worthy of your time. She will feel that competition anxiety deep in her and she will try to push your comfort zone every day to turn you into a beta. Keep your frame intact at all cost, the shit testing will be relentless, its a tough game out there brothers and I promise you anyone can change their circumstances if they are truthfuly willing to change. Dont let past failures limit your potential, continue to fight and be the man you are proud of. You are the prize.
I got friendzoned after a few 10-15 sec conversations and being added on social media (she added me) and she said she didn't want to lead me on and I never even asked her out. I didn't beg her. I didn't chase her but we are in the same social circle. Maybe I didn't show intent or who knows.
I always ask if she has single friends lmao and they usually ask why i would even ask that. Well obviously since you're off the market then i figure your friends would be a better use of my time. I've actually had chicks take this and go out with me again. otherwise i just ditch them entirely
@dave4248 You're half correct...…….being seen in the company of another (attractive) woman or women is pre-selection (in her mind). The 2 problems are: 1) A HUGE percentage of women spend the bulk of their time with the guy(s) they're fucking. She miiiiiiiiiight gab on the phone with him, but not very likely to hang out with him. 2) I have never met a guy who was introduced to an ATTRACTIVE woman, by his female 'friend'. Women aren't that stupid. She ain't gonna help you to take away her free attention AND she ain't gonna' get rid of her 4th string QB. If ALL else fails, and nothing works out with the 5 or 10 guys she wants, then, she miiiiiiiiiiiiight let him sniff it.
@Shaun A this is how we do it. And that first chick will eventually chase after you because you will become more sexually attractive to her. Both chicks banged. What's better than that. Maybe a friend of that friend? 🤔😀
Advice to the fellow: forget about women for now and focus on improving your health. Lose weight, eat healthy, get better sleep, exercise and be the best you can be. As a student doctor, get on track with your studies and job opportunities.
Very good advice. That is what I did long ago when I was overweight and tired of living. That alone gave me a crazy alpha attitude and I got laid a lot, with women pursuing me, because I didn't give a shit about them. I was focused on my goals.
Agreed, she has already put you in the "friend zone box", it's very difficult to get out of this from this woman specifically. Almost always not worth a man's time, on to the next one.
*This brother needs to get his own sh|t together before worrying about women.* His mental strength is in the gutter and I would start by working on self-esteem and physical health. This won't change over som week. Give yourself time.
Yeah, trying to attract any women (let alone the girl of your dreams) while you're not anywhere near being your best self is a recipe for disaster. Trust me, I know from personal experience, lmao. The better of a man I've become, the less desperate I've been for women -- and the more women have been attracted to me. It's really not rocket science. Just focus on being the best version of yourself you can be, and women will come naturally especially the more comfortable you feel about yourself.
@@brandondaniels9471 This is very true. I get more attention from women, since I started concentrating on myself. If you look desperate, you will find it hard to attract anyone.
I took out a girl from school to the sushi bar and we had a great time. I took her back home and she hugged me and kissed me after I walked her to her door. She said " think we'll be great friends." I told her that I wasn't interested in being her friend. I told her I was much more interested than that. She said she wasn't looking for that with me. I never gave her the time of day again and she texts me from time to time to this day. I have not answered her and her texts get meaner and meaner.
" She wasn't emotionally available for another relationship yet" ...short time after banging his friend....women will break the rules for the Alpha that they make for the Beta....
That’s not really how this works. She is just lying to him. That’s her way of saying, “I don’t find you attractive,” and she wants to keep you in the friend zone. Women are always available for a relationship with a man of value.
1. Health / Muscles 2. Purpose (leads to money & status) 3. Quality woman If 1 and 2 aren't on track, forget about 3. If you put women first, you'll always lose in life.
I was once dumped after 3 years and put in the friend zone. She said “I hope we can be like best friends”....My reply was “In the exact same way that I wasn’t good enough to be your man, you aren’t even close to being good enough to be my friend”..then I went no contact forever. She couldn’t believe it and begged for me back. But when I make a choice I stick by it, no I never looked back. 💪🏻
It is easy. View your friendzoning for what it really is, namely a rejection of you by her. She has rejected you. Accept that immediately. Then break off contact. And move on to better and more satisfying prospects. Do not let her back in. She had her chance and made her choice. Now make yours. There is no oneZ
Any time a woman has placed me in the friend zone, I placed myself in the former acquaintance zone. If you ever manage to get yourself out of the friendzone, she is settling and it is only a matter of time till she hates you for it. If she puts you on the back burner, you will never be the main dish.
@@Kaz.2719 Kaz I was as deep into the abyss as the guy in this video and pulled. Myself out. You know what? The guy is right, gym and putting yourself out there was the best thing I ever did. Oh and discovering red pill
My husband was a master on this, We were friends but he say to me "I don't want to be your friend, I want everything or nothing so this is our last conversation" and that was it
@@netfischer it wasn't our last conversation, We are married. We have being together for almost 16 years now. When that happened I was calling him all day and night bc I really like him.
I got friend zoned by a woman at work. I still remember how painful it was when I realised she was banging some other jerk when I thought there was something developing between us. It's really difficult when you still have see her everyday at work. I distanced my self from her, but still I wasn't over her. Eventually after months, I internalized all her lies, and I got angry with her. Really angry! I told her what a lying cow she was, and told her she could fuck off. And boom, like that, I was over her. This was the start of my red pill journey. 2.5 years later, I've now been trough my first ltr, survived to tell the tail, and I currently have 2 plates spinning.
"You need support after a death in the family".. Women dont care about your feels .. They talk about wanting a guy with feelings.. They want Chad to have feelings.. My biggest mistake with a women was to show her my pain after my brother passed .. Sad but true..
The last girl I dated, she tried to put me in her friend zone. I told her I wasn't interested in having a platonic relationship with her and she went no contact with me. This was very heartbreaking for me because I truly feelings for her, I even was ignorantly blissful at the time, thinking that she could be "The One". Me like a lot of us, I never grew up in a loving family, so I never had a level playing field in regards to learing about emotional maturity. My emotional immaturity has lead me down the path of having a pathetic love life, and life long bachelorism.
Man, the cure for that is clubbing, banging and dumping. Once you you got laid a lot and learned more about women, you will stop worshipping them or seeing them as special. If you have no game, just go for it without minding the rejections. It's better to go clubbing with really good buddies, the kind you have fun with and can be natural with them. Then you will oberflow confidence, and when women in a club see you are having fun with your people, they will flock to you. Like dogs, they go to where the fun is.
How to get out of the Friend Zone? Don't put yourself there to begin with. Only spend time as friends with people (both men and women) who you are happy being friends with. If an individual is someone you can't appreciate friendship with without wanting something else, do both of you a favour and move on. Also, if you're finding yourself swooning for someone who doesn't reciprocate, start working on yourself; you obviously don't see yourself as deserving or worth enough if you don't find those feelings naturally fading quickly when you discover they aren't reciprocated.
I had a fwb who during pillow talk would tell me about her male friend that her and her friends loved to go out with, because he would buy them drinks and when they needed to move they would call him as well. They would laugh behind his back because he never got any sex from any of them. Don't get friend zone.
I was in the friendzone for 3 years. She finally wanted to date, but I had already mentally moved past looking at her romantically. After a little pushing from her, I decided to give it a chance. It never felt right. I backed off. She questioned, and when I told her it wasn't working after she asked what was going on, I was called an a-hole and blocked on all social media accounts. Getting out of the friend zone isn't worth it. It's not what you expect, and it won't end well.
Hes needs a different field. Those female nurses will drive you crazy and turn you into a woman. My health has been a lot better since if left the medical field.
My friend was on antidepressents (lamictal)(zeldox)for 2 years but it never helped him it had side effects like him gaining weight etc about 2 years ago he decided to taper off of these medications and start weightlifting he now has a sixpack with a v line and is the happiest ive ever seen him
I feel sorry for the guy, we have all been there a time or two. Also men need to realize time easily spent is time easily lost, and they'll never get that back. Time is VALUABLE; and the time he has spent working on attempting to be with this person, he could've been spending it on fixing himself. The advice from the video is priceless, great advice. I wish I could've had advice like this in my twenties.
Without redpilling RU-vid videos, my generation had to guess and experience how women behave, how they think, love and play games. Now, with all information out there, it doesn't take a lot of IQ to just make a simple search. But knowing about hypergamy and the female nature is just a part of the whole picture. Richard Cooper is the guy who could have spared me years of grief and shitty experiences beyond imagination if he had been around in the 90's. But I have to blame myself too: it took me a long time to make the steps which are needed for a great life as a man in his fourties. Everything will come around and one day you will be proud of what you have become and how so many of your dreams came true.
I would in this order: -Own the fact that your values and actual belief system put you in this holes -Change your diet cut the junk food and everything soy related. Also the meds. If you don't have any medical conditions look into IF. - Then pick up heavy stuff like Rich said. Time to focus on yourself and turn it around
One of the things I love about your videos and statements is you focus on the guys themselves and try to fix things from within (which is the fundamental requirement to become a better version of yourself) rather, focusing on women and try to analyze or judge their thoughts and actions, as a matter of the fact, you always respect women for what they do and what they are (i.e. "she is a single mom and her children are her priority which they should be, she is their mom") The fact that a guy (in my opinion anyone) needs to be held accountable for what he is going through in his life should be a lesson that everyone should learn regardless of their gender Best of luck to you
I constantly got put in the friend zone by women because I lacked an abundance mindset was 100% blue pill. I was given a copy of the rational male (no plug) and began to live by red pill principles. I lost weight, put on muscle, got my finances in order and developed an abundance mindset. biggest key for me was being my own mental point of origin, operating in my frame and deciphering the medium in the message when listening to what women were saying. These things have helped me avoid the friend zone with women
Great points Rich but I would also tell him in 3-5 years, he'll be a practicing physician, easily making six figures and in his peak SMV. Which means he'll get the last laugh to all the women who friend-zoned him.
Don't waste time trying to get out of the friend zone. Just walk away and don't be a friend to any of them. When you are not a friend, and when you do not care for their attention one tiny bit, suddenly they will not allow you to be alone.
Friends zone? Fugget about it. The "Let's just be friends" cliche is basically a middle finger and it's best to move on and not waste your time pursuing a dead end. Personally, I'd prefer a more honest response like "I'm not into to you." Move on if you get the LJBF line.
Bro, this is eye-opening. This guy is me in high school. Thank God for the hard lessons in the past and for this guy to make me understand what I did wrong.
When she tries to put you in the friend zone you just reject the offer. Just say "No I'm not interested in that." Then she will know you are the one controlling the situation and not her. Also cut all contact with her if you can. Then ask someone else out.
How to avoid the friend zone? Don’t be ugly. It also helps if you are not poor, and/or you are high on the social totem pole (I.E.: not a mere middle manager, but upper level).
You will have more confidence and become more attractive to woman by getting yourself in shape physically and mentally. A starting point is getting the weight off---I did it and you can do it----it makes a big difference in how people view you and how you view yourself. Work on yourself before chasing women.
I find if you are "friends" with a woman that doesn't want anymore than that let her see you with another attractive woman and watch her interest in you change. Women are very competitive and it clicks in another woman see something in you. Works quite often.
Dude ive stopped chasing them ladies and taking care of myself . For a month now. Its like ive reached the light at the end of a tunnel Life had never been great. Now im the one being chased and its great being able to choose what i want when i want Keep up the great work i apreciate it
Whatever is happening, just be sure to live your life, you only get one life. If she doesn't want you, she just doesn't, and it's time to move on. There are plenty of girls out there to choose from.
A girl I've been lightly chasing at my company for a year blew me in the front seat of her car after a company social. What did I do different in the last 30 days?...........treated her and every other woman in the office like crap. No validation, no conversation, no attention, no anything.......BINGO, IMMEDIATE attraction!........women are weird, it's actually pathetic. The whole time in the front seat I'm thinking I Won, you lost!
haven't watched this yet, but I'll share my comment anyway. sorry if it's a repeat of what you said, Rich. If you want to get out of the friend zone, you have to be willing to let her go. Permanently. You're in the friend zone because she thinks she can keep you as an orbiter and that she can push you around. Put your foot down. You don't need to turn it into a passive-aggressive "you won't have sex with me so I'm taking my toys and going home" thing. don't make a scene. JUST GO. And be glad you saved yourself the trouble of dealing with her in a relationship.
Correct. She’ll get pissy, but if you stand your ground, state you’re not interested in being friends, she’ll feel your strength which will actually make her feel some respect and attraction for you. The quickest way to get someone’s attention is to remove yours. You’ll stand the best chance of getting her back... if, that’s what you want.
I don't understand this friendzone stuff. Women can't put men anywhere. Guys put themselves on the friendzone when they keep hope after being rejected. It is a self-imposed situation. If a woman rejected you, be friends with her if you may, but give up on her romanticaly and don't go out of your way to please her because she "might change her mind" or "finaly see the great guy you are". Women are oblivous to how good you are or what you feel for her, they only care about what they want and will only be pleased with men that have the qualities or resources she wants to get. The amount of women I've seen go for guys that match their superficial type just to bitch about them endlessly is no joke. They don't know what they want and I'm not interested in discovering. They are dumb as fuck and are in no position to validade you as a person.
It's taken me a while to realize that, but you're spot on. A woman doesn't friendzone a man, a man friendzone's himself. He gives the woman the initiative to "come around", but does that by his own free will.
Workout in the morning, 2 hours after waking up, chug some coffee too, then go kill it. Working out at the end of the day NEVER works for me, I'm too tired (I'm 50) ..also, do a 2 week fresh press juice FAST, this will reset many things in your body (see John Rose videos).
Grandpa's Swapmeet, how long have you been doing the juice fast? I turn 40 this November and I seriously need to retool my lifestyle regarding diet and exercise. Juice fasting is an option I’ve had on my mind, I just want to do it correctly. I’m not overweight; I’ve actually lost ten pounds in the past couple of months but it’s due mainly to calorie deficit and work related stress. That and I’ve made drastic cuts in my beer drinking. This was very painful but I bit the bullet. Still, I’m feeling the decline in energy but what really scares me is a decline in cognitive ability at work. I know I need to sort myself out. I see you work out two hours after waking up, am I reading that correctly?
I went swimming with a girl a few months ago. After sex she told me she didn’t want to “friend zone” me after she saw me with out a shirt. Working out will help you in a way you can not imagine until you get it. Do the work! You’ll have fun!
Just wanted to add that grad school is extremely difficult from a psychological standpoint. There are multiple anecdotes and peer-reviewed studies confirming this. For me personally, by the time I got out of grad school I was completely fried. If it were me being asked I'd say seeking love or relationships at this point is going to be too much. Fill your fridge up with healthy food, walk everywhere you can, and focus like a laser on your studies and job search. There'll be plenty of time to do everything else once school is done, and you'll be able to do it well. Grad school and career at this point are more than enough.
Never trust a girl's excuse ...because it's an excuse 🙄 for god sake.. Each and every man should note this " I am getting out of a bad relationship...drug addict etc...etc."..like she told him in his face that she doesn't like him.. Just get out of this societal conditioning of true love bs
There’s 3 ways you’re in the FZ! A) She saw you and simply put you in the friend zone category. B) You started a sexual chemistry with her but you lost frame n started turning beta and she put you in the FZ C) You went the FZ route in the first place
Arrrg you have covered this situation many times! Why do people only listen to you Rich if you talk to them about their exact situation...when it is exactly the same as the other stories! Your sir a very patient teacher.
1. The suicidal ideation worries me. You need to talk to a psychiatrist who can adjust your medications and get you into counselling to deal with the suicidal thoughts. A lot of this comes from being in a high stress field where you are working long hours. 2. You are a doctor. You are sitting in the cat bird's seat. You are/will be working in hospitals where every nurse wants to marry a doctor. You do not get a higher sexual market value in anything other than being a doctor. Any woman who would not be interested in marrying a doctor is brain damaged and you don't want her. 3. Forget this girl. She is using you. She will continue to use you for as long as you let her. (Been there, done that.) You need to put distance between you and her. This is hard when you are working together or are in the same program. But you will not have any peace until she is out of your life for good. This may mean transferring to another hospital and eventually moving to another city -- the geographical cure for oneitis works wonders. At the very least ghost her. If she wants to talk to you, you are too busy and will get back to her later. 4. As a doctor, you are in a better position to evaluate your weight problem than anyone here. Lifting weights builds muscle, but aerobics burns fat. You should be making enough money to hire a personal trainer; having a personal trainer with a scheduled time forces you to work out regularly, whether you feel like doing it or not. A personal trainer will help you lose lots of weight (been there, done that). Riding a bike or walking on a treadmill an hour a day or so can work wonders.
Exceptional video. I've been struggling with a version of this problem. I've been broken up with my ex-fiance for three years now. I've dated more than a dozen women in that time but I keep comparing them to her and oddly kinda end up resenting them for not being more like her. I feel like it's not fair to date more women until I can get this one out of my head. She only had sex with one guy in those three years and, of course, he just used her. In fact, she hadn't had sex for four years before we met (single mom focusing on her son). She also had sex with me once about a year ago when we both got really drunk together. Bottom line is that she's not a good partner for me because I'm very active and success-oriented and she's not. but I love her feminine personality, her tight little body, her natural beauty, and we have a great time together. When we were together the sex was the best of my life and I've been with a lot of women. It's bizarre to me that a woman that is so amazing in the sack goes years without having sex. She even agrees that the sex was amazing with me but thinks that would complicate her life. She's pretty much decided that she's going to be single for the rest of her life. I've been there for her emotionally and helped her with different things in her life... but I'm deep in the friend zone at this point. Sooo.... I'm off to the gym now... and I've been thinking about starting up Judo again... with your advice to that guy I'm going to join up today. Also going to work that much harder to build my digital agency. Thanks for the great advice you gave that guy... because you gave it to me too.
I like being in the friend zone with women. That way they let their hair down and show me what they really think. And I get to know if they are manipulative or deceptive. And when I find the right one, I start doing things that will make her think about me in a loving way.
Wish I could see a picture of this supposedly amazing unicorn. In my experiences (my own and others) we sometimes fall head over heels for someone that’s probably not even worth it on many levels. I went through a similar situation but it was more a barrage of smaller friend zones and rejections that made me suicidal, at a later age. Somehow I got lucky you get being unskilled with women and all. My suggestion to the guy, if he needs no one in general, to press the nuke button, disconnect, isolate, keep contact only with family and maybe best friend. Some might say that it’s unhealthy but it did a hard reset on me, the afterwards gaining back slowly the right amount of commitment with people in general that doesn’t become a burden and by extension falling in those oneitis conundrums. When an equilibrium is formed at least I think twice before adding someone more to my world.
Hey man, Rich is right. You're super young. You have a lot of potential and if you're studying to be a doctor you obviously have smarts to go along with it. I had trouble with an LTR and had a absolutely destructive case of oneitis just a couple months ago, so I'll do my best to help you out here. For me, I'm a college kid and recently just got attractive because I started to take care of myself. Dated a girl for a few months, she broke up with me when I flew out to visit her and I put myself in the friend zone afterward by saying that I wanted to be FWB. Fast fowards, she manipulated me and destroyed my self-confidence eventually leaving. I can get into it more, but just know I've been there done that. Dedicate time to work on yourself. Be in solitude. Lose the meds, the weight, and the previous mentality that you had. It's all crucial to re-establishing who you are as a person. Make sure that your priority in life is your success and your dreams. Understand that life sucks for everyone, but we need to get over it and work through it. Power through and keep yourself as first priority. Invest into thhis you enjoy in your free time. Hobbies you had from years past or anything that spurs your interests. Politics, motorcycles, you name it. Just have some productive stuff that you can use to reinvent yourself. This will be essential because the more you devote to the promotion to your own life, the more women will come to you as a result. You eventually might find yourself turning down women. From my experience, after I started working like crazy on myself, my attention with women absolutely skyrocketed. Remember, that the only person in life that will be with you till you die is yourself. Don't let the external world shape who you are. Take advice, but meditate and create your own truth based on what you see, both factual and opinionated. Also, read a shit ton of philosophy. I like nietzsche, jung and peterson as a start. Good luck brother. May the transformation begin.
Holy shit...reading these letters from these poor forlorn men is painful to hear. I was put in the friend zone a few times when I was very young and had very little experience with women. Once I became "tuned in" or was red pilled (before that was even a thing) I made it a point to make my desire of her known. If the vibe was not reciprocated I moved on. This is one of the first steps a young man takes going from a beta to an alpha. I haven't been put in the friend zone since my teens simply because I don't allow it. There is nothing more awful and pathetic to watch than a beta who is clearly a "girlfriend" of a woman he is attracted to and continuing down this path with the thought that he will eventually "triumph in the end".
WAIT until you finish med school and residency/fellowship. Once you start making money as a doctor and improve yourself women will come along. You can never lose women chasing money.
The best way to get out of the friend zone is by ignoring that woman/ not give her any attention. However, don’t show her that you’re booty hurt because this will lower attraction for you if she has any. Like what he says, work on your physique and try to stay busy/ healthy in general. My advice for you is to date a hotter chick, and she’ll start boiling.
The majority of men simply cannot get out of the friend zone once a woman puts them there. If you try, she will just stop interacting with you. The exception to this is for the top guys who are really good-looking, as in the top 10% of attractiveness. Women will give them a 2nd chance if they start acting like they have value.
Was in a long term relationship from 2010 until 2017. Dumped her and immediately started dating women who came onto me. Clueless as hell! I thought that if I tried to let her see I'd make a good boyfriend she'd find me sexually attractive and I'd get laid. LOL After 7 boring "nice guy" dinner dates she rejected me with a text that read "I'll text U another day". I never contacted her again. But caught oneitis. It took lots of education and WORK mental and physical to over come that crap and update my thinking. Thank you Richard! Big brother I never had.
Women don't put men in the friendzone, men put themselves there. The woman will stick around as long as you're giving them attention they don't have to reciprocate. It's taken me my lifetime to figure that out.
I was this poor dude when I was 20 years old, I hit rock bottom. But I studied and mastered David DeAngelo material and turned things around in my favor. I look back and thanked the girl who broke my heart but taught me a very good lesson.
Women Gatekeep Sex-But Men Gatekeep Relationships, it fits for all kinds of relationships with women, including that FRIENDZONE bullshit that men keep get trapped in. When you have a "friendship" with a woman, and want a sex relatioship with her, and she said that only sees you as just a FRIEND, and wants to be your "FRIEND" and not lose the friendship, cut off that relationship, because YOU ARE the gatekeep of relationship. Don't give her the power over the relationship, it's not her who decides to be friends with you, it's YOU who decides to be friends with her. I see many men whinning about girls who put them in the FRIENDZONE and keep having a friendship with them and give all they want. NO, STOP this, tell her the friendship is over and you don't have interest anymore, she will drive crazy, because she wants that friendship with you, keeping the friendship, you are providing, giving her the power to something that only you has control. If you keep that friendship, you will end up with nothing and she will win. Don't let her have that friendship with you, MEN ARE THE GATEKEEP of relationship, remember that. The best way to get out of the FRIENDZONE is walk away, end up any kind of relationship with the woman who put you there, it's sex or nothing.
Two things if one uses in his life can never be mislead: 1- watch actions, not words, and it will show you what a person is. 2- if you do something, it produces bad or no results,,, change your behavior. If you combine the above two, you will be guided to happiness. No confusion and no misleading.