How to Get Real Friends 

Father, could you pray for me if you have time. I am very lonely, and I have no friends or family. I just want a few Christian friends. Thank you.

I started losing friends when I started becoming closer to God, I guess that was a sign from God Himself that they were not real friends. But I have the best friends one could ever ask for - Jesus, Mary and the Saints. 💕

Our daughter is desperate for friends. She is a wonderful, sweet 17 year old and it is so difficult for her to find good girls who aren’t all about partying and social media scores. Please pray that K will find 1-2 great friends. Thank you 💕

Availability and vulnerability. Oof. Needed this reminder.

This is how to BE a real friend, not how to GET them. I can tell you that I've created many one-sided relationships that way.

The Lord Jesus is my best friend Alleilua

I'm introvert and don't like being around most people but would love at least one close friend that I can rely on

Please pray that someday I will be surrounded by people that understand me and accept me for who I am. Just one friend not loads just one true friend :)

I'm so grateful God gave me friends that strive to be holy🙏🏼 They each have virtues I wish to obtain some day and they only encourage me to get closer to God.

Good friends are hard to come by. The Imitation of Christ Book leads me to believe we shouldn’t desire too many anyway. I have a few good friends but I’ve learned to be friends with myself...

I’m praying for true friends for me and my husband 🙏🏻

I have, within this past year, become a widow. I have found out that most folks don't want to keep up with you after the funeral or right after the hospitalizartion, having visited the dying person. I have been left alone. My late husband and I had a circle of friends, and they had slowly passed on in the last 10 years or so, and their spouses, had relocated to different states, where he had kept up on Facebook. (I did not care to join FB.) They had gotten on with their lives. I called them up, and they all told me to get involved with grief support group. I did for a bit, having gotten recommendations from the hospice services. I did go, but Covid cut that experience short ( group meetings were dissolved.) Everything was closed for awhile, just reopening up not too long ago, for instance, Senior services in our community. But in my business, of which I am the manager, I had a close knit group of friends of various ages, we all worked together. Only one talks to me, and even that is very sporadic. I text them, but many times they do not text me back. I just give up. I wonder why people are so scared of talking to widows and widowers? It's like WE were the ones who died. It's extremely hurtful, especially since one might have been sought out and needed. Now, you only hear the crickets chirp. We had no children/grandchildren, all of our elders are gone for years, so I am very much alone. I had, 2 weeks after my husband died (right before Christmas) a mini stroke, which felled my going out, as I was wobbly and unsteady walking. I just stayed put. I was able to go out by February, and went to 2 meetings. It was nice to be around folks but they were all strangers. In March, I got Covid and was sick for a month. I did not need to be in a hospital, but it was no cakewalk, that is for sure. When it was time for work this past May, I found out my boss did not want me back since I had the Covid, was healed, but we did not know if I could infect anyone..like everyone else that had Covid and recovered. But he drank "the Koolaid" and asked me not to return. Just one day's notice. I worked so hard to recover, so I could work. Right now, I am cleaning out my home so I can sell it. I am doing this by myself, as there is no one to help. I should be done in about 2 or 3 months. I am moving to another part of the Country, and hope to find a new set of friends. I just wanted to relate my story and hope that if there is a Senior in your life, that we need friends too. We need to rely on those who are still here, and we have not passed on alongside our spouses. We are getting up to rebuild our lives. What is left to us, we wish to live in the Graces of God and His Mother. Prayer is welcomed as I talk with God, Jesus, Our Lady all the time. They should be anyone's "best friends". But we, as Father has said above, were not created to be alone.

This is the second time in a row you cover the issue exactly when it starts to bother me! God's timing is great

Why is it hard for some of the nicest normal and genuine people to make friends?

I was really bummed this morning because I don’t have any real friends and then this came up in my feed. God has a great sense of humor 😂🤣😂

I offer you Jesus my hurts of unresponsive friends, rejection in love, and my loneliness. God bless all the girls who rejected me and friends who don't love me back. 🙏

Social media is toxic to find friends . True friends will be the ones who hold god closest to them 😇 those who pray and here his word ... The few little flock .

I think another important thing about friendship and community, is having common interests and values. You can be the nicest and kind hearted person to anyone you meet, but I think true authentic friendship is going to stem from enjoying similar interests and activities- likes what you like. It’s sometimes hard to continue through conversation when ultimately you don’t enjoy similar things or your personalities just don’t click.

Please pray for me as I begin my first year of college. I’ll be attending a large Christian university, and as a Catholic I pray to find a strong community of other Catholics that will guide me throughout my first year. I really hope to make new and genuine friend that will allow me to be my best self!

52 years old here, have had a lot of disappointments through life with friends, I finally gave up and realize that true (human) friends do not exist, I do have three friends that would give their lives for me, I did not find them at a bar or at church, I found them at the shelter. "The more I know people, the more I love my dog -Diogenes-".

I don’t have any friends (unless you count family members as “friends”). I don’t mind friendships but I desperately don’t long for it neither. I honestly don’t mind being friendless most of the time, and I don’t like how society make it seem like there is something “wrong with you” because you have no friends. Some of us love solitude and peaceful living, and people or “friends” often time bring nothing but anxiety and stress on our lives.

Kitchen conversations are the best.

i lost every one of my friends, yet i forgive them even though they don’t know they’ve hurt me, please pray i find more friends, i’m literally so alone and lonely :(

I find that a lot of introverts never were close with their parents. Like they couldn’t talk with them about anything and everything, that sort of thing.

**virtual high five** Fr. Mike 🙏🏼

THE TIMING! GOD, ARE YOU STALKING MEEE???

Availability and vulnerability. [Transparency vs Vulnerability] ... We are not meant to be available and vulnerable to everyone. - Fr Mike Schmitz Let's pray for the right pray for the right people to be available and vulnerable to. May the Lord heal our woundedness to be able to discern and act upon this healthy nugget of wisdom. Thank you as always, Fr. Mike Schmitz!

I’m in need of caring friends. My social anxiety prevents me from meeting new people and I always feel like a bother whenever I talk to someone like I’m wasting their precious time. Something in my head there is wrong. Anyways it’d be nice to not have a one sided relationship where I’m the one always keeping a conversation going and not always being the one to talk first. I feel like I’m not cared for. Please lord I would absolutely love some good and caring friends.

Its funny because sometimes animals become our greatest friends. I don't have many friends but i have a lot of cats and 2 dogs and a turtle. Its a blessing to have them in my life.

if anyone could pray for me that would mean a lot to me. my best friends completely dumped me and turned a bunch of people against me. school just restarted and i don’t really have anyone to be good friends with

Thank you father

I 've been developing a deep sense of understanding to certain aspects in life ever since I started listening to Fr.Mike. Every tiny thing being presented beautifully, I'm forever grateful to him and to this channel.May the Lord God bless you more abundantly.💜💒

A friend will be there for you in times of struggle, even if it means being silently present while you cry for losing your dad to death. And then you are there for them in struggle as well. Having one or two good friendships is a sign of maturity. Having none at all, or too many friends mean something is not right, an inner hurt needs healing from Our Lord Jesus. Some people don't have friends because their life at that time is not enabling for solid friendships such as in a nursing home, or all the people around you are godless people. Holy saints of the past had very few people who really were their friend, only faith filled friendships thrived. We are living in a digital age where everyone is a friend, yet we are all friendless. Something is wrong with this picture!

In this time of combustive politics, revealing oneself to others is risky.

Availability and vulnerability. Agree Fr. Mike.

My friends in the past were let downs. I stopped trying! My fiance is my best friend and that's all I need.

Somewhat unrelated, but I love how Fr. Mike's clap at the beginning of the video syncs perfectly with the intro haha

I met one of my closest friends last year at uni. I prayed that I would have nice flat mates....and so did she! I do believe God introduced us :) As Christians we are more open to accepting our faults, admitting our mistakes and trying not to repeat them, at the same time we try to be more forgiving and loving because this is what we're taught. And because of this I think it could be easier to better maintain friendships with other Christians....

Thank you, Father, for always giving me perspective during these hard times! Not only with the lockdown but also the fact that one year ago I became an exiled. No family or friends. Starting from zero, I've struggled so much with loneliness and anxiety, and I'm desperate to find a place at Church where I can serve others and feel at home again. Please pray for me and all the exiles!

I'm a hairstylist. Believe me, I'd give almost anything to have real friends - the "friends" I have now just want to use me for free haircuts, and then not talk to me for six months. But I don't trust anybody to be real anymore, and if people are just going to use me for free labor in the name of "friendship," then I'm not interested. On a related side note - no, fellas, me giving you a free haircut is NOT a "cute first date idea".

Does anyone else use their social awkwardness as an excuse for not having alot of friends 😂😂

The devil has sent me a lot of “friends” but they’re disguised as good ppl. I wish he would send normal good ppl that love God. What he sends is usually not from the Lord. It’s sad. No one wants to be lonely, sometimes the devil wants you lonely so that u can feel unwanted and sad.

excellent teaching on making friends, Thanks a lot Fr. Mike.

I found out slower speed 0.75 very helpful to understand Father. He speaks very fast but too briliant to give up. Thank You for every word, Father.

After the death of my best friend and husband, it seems I have no one. People Who I thought were friends of my husband and me have just moved on and it's apparent they don't want anything to do with me....I thought I was a good person but apparently not good enough for them....I am a cantor at church and an artist, but what I'm hearing from people is that they are intimidated....I'll keep trying to make friends but sure am getting tired of being alone...

Being lonely is so paining. How I wish everyone has a gold heart ❤️. But what happened to humans for real. I can't stop shading tears 😢😢😢

This was needed, thank you father 😃

Thank You Father Mike. God Bless You!

I had tons of "friends " back before I became religious I have zero now I'm okay with that just like I'm okay with being single don't really want neither in fact less responsibility and drama is the best

Thank you so much Fr. Mike.

You are such a blessing Fr Mike.

I wish more priests had your energy and excitement. I’ve been an atheist most of my life but am trying to not only fully believe but grow a relationship with Christ and it’s hard when the people that are teaching me and showing me how to be a better Christian don’t have that spirit if that makes sense. Like I wanna believe that you believe with all your heart and Fr. Mike just has so much soul and energy and it helps me understand. I hope that makes sense!

Thanx Father!

words of wisdom. Thanks Fr. Mike!

Thank you Fr.Mike Blessings

Beautiful talk again. But there was too many availability and vulnerability in my life, so i focus my friendship to Lord primarly, and then thru Him on people. And i see one thing: closer i am to Him, more people going away from my life. That's why i don't have "chit chat friends" anymore, but sisters and brothers in Christ. 🙏✝️😊

Lovely father Mark so true god bless you

I have an acronym that I use to remind myself what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like (this could be for romantic relationships, friendship, family, even with yourself) based on what I have seen from the inside and outside of them. I came up with it a year and a half ago, and I’d like to think that it’s a pretty good way to gauge healthy/unhealthy relationships. I call it T.A.L.A. - Time, Attention, Love, and Affection. Time - How much time are you spending with the other person? Are you spending too little or too much time with them? Do they get upset when you need to have time away from them? Attention - When you spend time with this person, are you paying attention to what they have to say? Have you responded absentmindedly when they try to talk to you? Is it too easy/too hard to get their attention or for them to get your’s? Love - In your heart, do you care for this person? Do they have importance in your life that isn’t solely for convenience or out of use? Is that love eclipsing other parts of your life, like your own wellbeing or your love for God? Affection - If you do love this person, how do you show it to them? How do they know that you love them? Have you shown too much or too little of it recently? How much of your efforts have been used to make sure that the other person knows that you love them? I imagine each of these on a scale, with the objective to keep it as balanced as possible. Of course, there will be times when the scale for one of these may lean more towards one side than the other, but it should always return to a relatively equal balance. If it starts leaning heavily towards one side and stays there, that’s when a relationship of any kind can become toxic. (Also, you could substitute Affection with Kindness, which then turns the acronym into T.A.L.K., which puts a heavier emphasis on the use of communication to support healthy relationships. Haven’t toyed with that idea enough yet for me to make the change completely, but it could still be used in that way.)

The timing of this video was perfect for me!!!!! THANKSSS

One of the best talks that I have ever heard about what true friendship entails.

Thank you, Father Mike! This one is super important! :) 🙏💜

Vulnerability is risky. So true

Too true Fr. Mike, thank you! God bless you!

Your videos are always great Father Mike

Thus we are all related

Thanks for this father

What a teaching on True friendship!! Thank u Fr Mike for your insights.😊

I once had what I thought were great girlfriends in church. After a few years, I realised that they did not feel about me, the way I felt about them. Some were mean to me and had feelings of envy towards me and others really could not care less about me. I became a very hard and harsh person. To date, I have no real friends but with God's help, I am getting over the hardness of heart. It would be nice to have a few good friends but to tell you the truth, I am not really willing to be vulnerable again. I'd rather just draw closer to God.

Bring it home ....Pastor mike and this is different talk that I anticipated...So good

I learnt during these years about making friends is choosing my friends wisely with good discernment from the Lord. True friendship is mutual and good that keeps me on the right path.

I have a friend in Jesus! He is like no other!

Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.. if something scares you do it.. even if you fail atleast you wont regret that you never tried.

I love that fishbowl analogy and thank as always for the life teachings you give

Another ingredient is a shared search for truth and virtue. The two people need to be seeking God, and capable of giving and receiving real love, at least to some degree - we're all broken in some way after all.

Thanks! Father Mike for your videos they are appreciated have a great week.

Father listening to you has helped me to believe, to remember what i had lost my faith. Thank you

"The more I know people _ the more I love my dog Ollie"

Recently came back to the faith in a very strong way. All my friends are mostly atheist and my friendships have been founded on very secular things. To boot I always kept my belief in God to myself. I was living in two worlds, very separated, and now it's difficult to associate with my longtime friends because of my silence, but also because I cannot continue living the way I was, joking about the things I was joking about, talking the way I used to, etc. SO my advice to all y'all is to be honest with your friends and acquaintances hah. Thanks for this Father, needed to hear it.

I NEEDED this video ❤️ especially this week .. God is so good

This video came at the right time. Lately I feel like God has been speaking to me in many ways. Throughout high school and college, I did not have many friends of faith and because of that I lost mine. I just recently started dental school and have found a group of Catholic student dentists and I can already tell the difference in my heart and happiness. Thank you Fr. Mike :)

Thanks a lot for this video, Father! God bless

In my experience one of the best gifts we can give each other is quiet listening. Some of the most profound things I have received from the Lord have come through quietness while sitting with another. When that person trusts the Savior for my needs and listens to the Holy Spirit on when to speak and when to remain silent, it is that act of faith that sparks my own and strengthens me greatly. Thanks be to God for those rare friends. I pray I can be one.

Making yourself available but not just to talk on the phone but being willing to jump into action when someone needs you. It’s hard for people to ask for help, when they do, if you turn them down, chances are they won’t come to you again for help. Physically being available is very important when you can. 💜💜💜 also trying to be available to those in need you don’t know. There is so much need out there.. a simple smile, or cup of water or listening ear can make all the difference in the world.

all good Father! I have been studying the Book of Sirach which has been so helpful to me and I am a bit picky about developing new friendships, but one thing in particular that will open every door for a new relationship is to 'ask questions', because asking questions yes is vulnerable, but it shows you are interested, and so many friendships for me have developed this way, and amaze me...even asking where they grew up? But I do always ask the Holy Spirit to help me, gets me through that 'nervous' stage, but I am always amazed....well except a few times..ha ha

I think a necessary ingredient for a great community is sowing love and kindness towards the people in your life without expecting anything in return.

Excellent video Father Mike Schmitz! I will keep on praying for you as my friend and I hope you have a great day!

Thank you for this video.

Best video ever!

I really like this! I spent so long complaining about not having community where I live. So, I decided to do something about it. I made myself available and I was persistent about being intentional with those around me. There are times when sometimes I still feel as though I have no community, but they are there. Pray for the people around you and ask God to help you to be the light that they need. Utilize your awkwardness! Embrace the weird! I went up to a stranger and said "hey, we work together and are about the same age. We will now be friends." Half expecting this to never work, I continued to just make myself available and ask how I can pray for them and now we are friends. We are still digging deeper into vulnerability, but as Father said, that takes time. May the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary be with us all!

Wow! Thank you for that!

Sending love from the Netherlands.

I like this homily a lot

Gracias Padre 🙏

i so needed to hear this ! 🤍✨

beautiful! Thank you!

Boy I needed this. I'm at a point in my life where I'm realizing the few friends i thought i had arent really my friends, mainly because of different politic views which is so sad. I dont mind if we differ politically as long as you are a good friend. I long for friendships with people who think like I do and actually want to get to heaven one day

LOVED this and funny timing - I just went on a girls very low-key beach weekend with 2 friends and it’s because we have follow through...we don’t just casually say “Let’s have coffee soon” or “We should go on a girls trip”...we actually follow through and make it happen. It’s like the saying “How do children spell ‘love?’ - T- I- M-E.” Same is true in friendships - availability.

Thank you, Aneb

It's hard to open up & leave oneself vulnerable. But ,I found, trusting in Our Lord ,He I'll guide you one y or the other. God bwy Father. Totally enjoy your influence.

Love the example of the fish 🐠 tank!