What I do when my wife's family come and ask for money. I put them to work. Examples of work, cook diner for us at my house, clean my house, do some laundry, baby sit, wash my car,. There is always something that needs to be done. Don't give them the money until they work it off.
Some of the wife's family might threat you when you refuse to sponsor. Sometimes they harm you. All because guys fail to tee it up properly. Set things straight from the get go. *Live far away from her family *No unannounced visit allowed *No overnight stay allowed *The answer is always NO
I have been married here in philippines 28yrs . I look for things for them to fix or paint around the house this way they earn money and keeps there honor that way they not worry about paying back.
When i visated I used walla pera as my name. it stopped them asking for monies.the people around me would stop others stating he is a fillipino dont bother.. really it works
You hit the nail on the head. A good friend is more important than a small amount of money, especially if you can verify or if you know they really need the money. I never lend money to friends or family expecting them to pay me back. I tell them pay me back if you can and if you can't, don't worry about it.
@@shakabra5 A real friend would not go hiding from you. A real friend would go find himself short term gigs to make extra cash to pay you back. A real friend would talk to you and discuss terms of how he could pay it back that are realistic and not lie just to get the money. A real friend would talk to you and be transparent Hey dude I really need the money but I can't pay all of it back. That is one thing I like about Japanese culture They would rather commit suicide than loose face or dishonor the family. Go anywhere in Japan and drop your wallet anywhere and come back in 2 hours Trust me your wallet will still be there or someone turned it in to the local police department. You will meet many friendly people in phillipines but to find a real friend is almost impossible. As long as you understand those things phillipines can be a wonderful place to be. Me personally I prefer Thai people. In Thailand people tend to work harder, They follow buda which is basically like KARMA beliefs. If you do something bad to someone else it will come back to you. If you do something good in life it will elevate you in your next life or in this one. The main issue is when looking for a woman don't go for the bottom of the barrel just to get a woman. My advice is find someone who has some level of education even if it is 1-2 years of school past high school. Find yourself a woman that comes from a good middle class family that the people do honest work.
#2 Benjamin Franklin said " Fish and Relatives smell in three days " Lucky me, my wife's relatives know better then to ask for money. Yet if she gives some, I tell her to just give it and don't expect any return. Less stress.
This is exactly how Filipino clan culture works. Every clan has a leader. They get to be leader by being good with money. Not just having money, but understanding capital. Someone needs money... what do you have for me? Sign over title to property maybe. They stay in their home and pay rent. Rent is how the loan is repaid. In this case the next clan member asking for a loan... "No problem. You need 2k or a phone? Go get it from that kuya who owes it to me. Then you owe me." That's how businesses handle non-payment. They hand it off to a collection agency.
Marcos, you are so right, you have to set your boundaries at the beginning of your relationship with the PI family regarding money. If not, they will work your feelings with all the stories why they need money.
You brother absolutely right about not giving any loan to anyone here in Philippines as a local or family members. I had an experience even they have a money they don't help you if you need as a family member. They just don't care and say have no money as a recording machine. I recommend everyone here never ever give a loan just help your wife mother of she is widow every month as fix.most of them see us here as a wallet. Greetings from Bohol.
You look to have carved out a good, leisurely life for yourself. Congratulations, you are a wise man. Love the videos you dont pull any punches and that is appreciated, E
So spot on Marcos on loans and gifts.. I've learned it the hard way. But great info.. 😎 And if someone surprises me..does pay me back..I give it back to them
My dad used to say... you loan someone some money. They don't pay you back. That's how much it cost to never see them again . Unfortunately, they look at you as a personal 🐷 🏧 Desperate people do desperate things.
You did the right thing with the phone, and very sage advice about treat your local friends well. They are worth way more than money. I think I made the same mistake with someone I care about and I don't know the last time I heard from him, I should have just given the money as a gift. Live and learn.
Haha when I came to visited my wife from the states. Her family or friends would hang out with us while I was there. When I returned to the States, family and friends would Disappear.
Good job Po. I was 15 picking through the change in my pocket in Mcdonalds and some old guy just bought me a meal, I was ordering something for $1.00 That was 15 years ago and I still always think about it. Like me, maybe this motivated him to help others.
Whenever any of her relatives ask me for money I say talk to my wife, she is the boss. And yes, she is thrifty. She give to her mother and sometimes siblings but since she works its her own money. We did pay for her brothers education in return for that he will be the one taking care of the mother when he gets a work (lets see how that goes, who knows).
Strother Martin in "Cool Hand Luke." "What we have he-ya ... is a fay'ya of cumun' cation..." Paul Newman as Lucas Jackson ends up getting shot dead by a bunch of ignorant red-neck prison guards because he was suffering from PTSD after the Korean War and kept trying to escape the prison gang he was enslaved in.
My wife and I have been giving supporting her family members for over 25 yrs. They never appreciate or pay back what they borrow. We understand and we just carry on. It is what it is here. We will keep on helping not all but some in need. Love the philippines. ....
When we get mud, we get rubber boots and call it good . Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and that works for the relatives. Travel costs money, so some distance makes it just that much more difficult for them to just pop in whenever they want to.
I always watch your blog it pops up in my co ...i open and listen carefully ....i know i can have more learning i can get from you ...thank you more more interesting content love both of you folks Here Dr. rachel
Hey Marco, Yes, that was me that messaged from my new Philippine phone. Registered under my son's name, Kyle. With my old phone (this one I AM using now), it only work with Wi-Fi connection. Well..., that's a whole for deep thoughts. Anyway, make it a better day than yesterday. In one of Your previous videos, You said You don't like cluttering Your mind with unnecessary garbage. I AM the same. And more so since I found my guru, Sadhguru. Provoking thought and more control of mind and body. I AM not my mind. Nor AM I this body. "If You are conscious that You are mortal, there is no time to do anything stupid. You have to stay on track."
Oops *not whole. It's supposed to be hole.... Ay-yooo. I AM my own spelling police. My thoughts are faster than organizing my grammar and spelling. I even catch myself skipping words. Because my thought is already past it. And moved on, "NEXT!"
It is as you say, if someone borrows money, word gets out that you loan money. Yes they will for sure call you a tihik ("tea hick" in bisaya) for not loanind money out. I have been called that and I told them, thank you.
husband speaking age 81 - story time - Filipino folks can be the hardest workers and at the same time the laziest. Our home in Vistamar Resort is about 4 blocks to the water. There is a BIG shade tree on the bank that I am surprised is still living because on rainy days the ( non thinking ) men will build a picnic fire inside the opening of the tree at the base. Then folks, young and old climb down the bank to the water, about 10'. Of ALL the locals who use that area you might think some of them, even one person, would dig out steps, put rocks in and maybe a small railing to help the elderly. Nope, either too lazy or they just can't think of making it easier.
That's overly dramatic. No family member schemes to off you over $500. They're not that bright tbh, but they're not stupid either. Anyone realizes that playing the long game is where it's at.
I have never left the US & I have used what I call paying off/loan to get rid of inlaws And it's easy to blame the people who I loaned money for never being able to do it again " I'm so sorry after that person I just don't feel comfortable and family is so important to my wife and myself I just can't have anything like money hinder our relationship" Just my personal experience
Marcos, you know that in Amerika, as a debt collector, that a "Settlement" for upto 70% off is acceptable. So offer homeboy that option, its the Amerikan way. Of course you never loan him any money again, but you look at it this way, it only cost you 37 bucks to weed out a deadbeat! Arriba!!!
I have a business in the Philippines and it’s expected that you allow the employees to do CA or cash advance and we just agree upfront to withhold a certain amount from their salary every two weeks. Also, we only allow CA for emergency like medical or some kind of emergency not just because they need a cake for their kids birthday party, etc..
Growing up poor myself, I've made it a point to let my friends know I'm not loaning them the money, I'll need their help(something they do) one day, and that's what friends are for. When it's family, I'm broke, but I'll work to help them get it figured out.
You need to realize that whatever happened in their life got taken care of before you showed up and will get taken care of when you are gone so whatever you do doesn't really make a difference because shit always happens.
I never loan,I give money. If someone is down on cash,a loan just delays the financial issue kicking it down the road..Also the money gift keeps them from asking twice..
Five hu'red goes a loooooooong way in da' Pillypeans mi amigo! Like all the way around the block. To a casino in Manila and back again, never to be seen. Syinara from Yourigama.
I have a Filipino friend and I have loaned him money and he always repays the loan. LOL now when it comes to her family members there is no such thing as a loan it's always a gift.
Straight out he will not pay you back hell man it even happens in the states I just let it go he needs it more than I do but still don't see him either !
That works in any culture? Loan money and you will never see them again? Really? I wish. Maybe... maybe it doesn't work like that on son in laws. Or maybe that dude is a dirtbag without a conscious. I do not profess to know. Only thing worse than that is staying with a Filipina who has a 22 year son and he goes through your stuff finds money and steals it. Yep... I'm not with her anymore. Doesn't anyone work for money anymore? They got to "borrow" or steal? I feel so much better far from family here in Southeast Asia and more importantly not in a relationship. The only thing I do now is ignore panhandlers. Much simpler. Much less stress.
I now have a new Philippine phone. Unfortunately I have no clue how this newer technology works. And the worst part is, it's asking to get full access to all parts of my phone, my private photos, private messages. How stupid is that.... That for sure is a definite fail if people allowed to give up that right and set themselves for future problems. This is one of the biggest failures to have been allowed.
Haha, great video! You finally got a comment outta wife#2, haha... A spin on what you're saying is someone taught me give the money, or give the money in exchange for future work. I'm gonna give you this cash and when you have a day you can dig this ditch for me... I do that will homeless people and beggars all the time. I ask them to do something, run an errand or even pick up trash...
The flies are horrible lately!! Just sitting outside they swarm you. Annoying. 3 in 1 coffee is way to sweet for me. I was using Nescafe Gold instant coffee, but after awhile that still didn't seem like good coffee. I got a large can of Folgers coffee from Shoppee which is not great, but better than instant coffee.
Bought my filipino wife a coffee maker at sm mall then got ground medium roast coffee. Not hard to find. Coffee maker was around 1,800 pesos then the coffee was around 350-400 pesos. Blanca 3-1 is nasty.
