How to improve your SELF-ESTEEM: the second step is the tricky part 

Self-esteem is the belief that, all things being equal, you're a worthwhile person. It's related to self-confidence, but it's technically a separate construct. Unfortunately, many folks out there struggle with low self-esteem, and don't think very highly of themselves (even if they're otherwise successful). Fortunately, there is a simple way to improve your self-esteem. It's a two-step process, and I'll outline both in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com

This part about not showing or telling anyone is powerful

The part of keeping it to yourself is Gold. This is why I deleted all my social media it has really help me kick the “validation” way and just move on with my life

I’m a student therapist and this short video has been absolutely enlightening. Building the relationship with yourself without the need for external validation is golden. Thank you

‘The Six Pillars of Self Esteem’ might be the most helpful book I’ve ever read. It’s my mental health bible when I don’t feel good about myself

My summary: We must always do the right thing no matter what others think.

If you rely solely on external validation for nourishment you'll be hungry for the rest of your life. What good advice to keep esteemable and difficult acts private to nourish your soul.

This channel needs WAY more views.

It is so refreshing to have such a helpful insight without rambling on - just over 5 minutes - thank you

This makes so much sense. This channel is a hidden gem.

This man needs to be rewarded enough for the inmense help he is providing us with.

Never thought of receiving external validation was robbing my own internal validation before. Quite eye-opening. Thank you

I feel personally attacked by this video. Well done sir.

It’s so hard to not gain validation from others but I am working hard on this to boost my self esteem . Thank you for your help

Thank you for this! This is very helpful and the way you escorted external validation leading to less development of self esteem is something I've not thought of before.

That makes so much sense. I am definitely a validation junkie. I appreciate the tips. THANK YOU!!

There’s so much meaning to these 4 minute videos. I just subbed

I’m glad the algorithm has finally blessed me, this is like the 7th video in a row Ive binged on your channel. Sub worthy for sure!

I really needed this today. I'll keep working on myself in this way..feeling the positivity

This is a great way to begin the new year. I am working on becoming impervious to the opinions of people around me while keeping an air of mystery as I challenge myself. What I notice is the more you do this, the more people admire you, which builds up your self esteem. Thank you and keep these nuggets of wisdom coming. Happy holidays!

You’re awesome bro. Regardless of money or recognition, i want you to know that you’re doing something positive for the world that has real, substantial and lasting impact. You’ve helped me reflect and sort out my world and i can only assume that you do that for others as well, my gratitude to you good Sir. Thank you

What succinct, transforming guidance to help build self esteem. So much to unpack and expound on. The fact you mentioned slavery hit my gut. Thank you for sharing such practical steps. Appreciate this more than you know!

this was so simply explained.....but it is such a rewarding process particularly not sharing the part of your gain. stoics also said the same thing never share your self-improvement with others. thanks a ton

Doing difficult and eestemable things without telling anyone! Dr Orion, I love your work. Thank you for all of these insights!

Fantastic, what a clear and precise explanation. The best I've heard on the topic. Massively valuable content. You deserve and will soon have more views and subs.

When you have to internalize to yourself and not to others it brings in the sense of loneliness. As if it is you and only you that can change your self esteem, which IS very true! BUT! As you build your self-esteem, you will still need to socialize with others so you won't remain in a lonely space. Don't get anything twisted. Social interactions (NOT social media likes or comments) are very important even to the introverts. The key here is: Focus on healthy interactions and healthy relationships (friends and/or family). That does matter. Stay far away from unhealthy people, unhealthy music, and unhealthy interactions.

Wow, never thought of that second step but it totally makes sense. Thank you!

I have done this! Self acknowledgement of my achievements to myself. It's catching those moments. Sometimes they are small. But I love the excitement of conquering myself & skills! I don't need to share with others because I know the journey it took to get to that moment.

Great advice. It all makes so much sense now. I learnt to play the guitar something I had wanted to do for years. When I learnt a piece of music I recorded it to share with others, I waited for their response to hearing me playing the guitar. Why did I do this? Why could I not wait to see what their response was? Gradually I have been able to continue with my practise without the need for validation from others. I praise myself now when I do a challenging piece on my guitar, it feels good and quite liberating. Your video is so accurate and now I know why I felt like I needed others for validation.

Understanding the significance of self-praise in this video has taught me how to appreciate and love myself more. Embracing a positive perspective toward my own achievements has become a priority.

I'm so happy I found this video where the guy doesn't play bursting out of his confidence and preaching at 1,5x speed "3 easy ways to boost your self esteem". A very decent advice.

This makes so much sense, I promise I will try because I am really having problems with my self esteem here

It turns out I really needed to see this video. It was very useful to me and I really appreciate what you’re doing.

Wow, never heard this explained this way! I do this naturally, but never really understood this is what I was doing! Thanks for the explanation!

Thank you for confirming for me what the struggles of the last 21 years have shown me. Self-validation, yes.

This is a massive truth for someone like me, i always had this need to post on instagram what i was doing, specially the things that were difficult for me to do just like you mentioned in the video, - Waking up at 6am and go for a run, **takes a picture of the watter bottle next to the running shoes and upload it on my histories** 3 hours later, 10 or twelve replies saying "oh that´s cool, when are you going to run with me?" and those comments make me feel special, but, it was a double-edged sword because the day i didn´t wanted to run i was feeling like sh*t about myself, and i didn´t know why, and now after watching this video i know why ! it was because i didn´t received any replies that day ! no likes or external validation, so .. what you´re saying is tremendously true, because i´ve lived it, social media is indeed like a drug, or even more dangerous than an actual "drug" we are slowly becoming more and more addicted to it and not even being aware of the damage it does to our behaviour and Brain funcionality.

Loved it. .. very deep yet practical ... Thanx Orion ❤

Thanks a lot doctor, this really makes sense. I have been bullied in school for being dark skin complexion and this had left a huge impact on my self esteem while growing up. Although I'm now a successful engineer doing good work and earning a decent salary, due to this lack of self esteem, I hesitate to talk with women (don't go on dates) and take the easy way out. I did learn a ton of skills over the years like guitar, soccer, piano, sketching, tennis, karate, cooking, juggling, German language, etc. But I have a tendency to show off on social media and this clearly hasn't helped my self esteem in any way. The above mentioned things has definitely improved my self confidence, which I think is a gradual process in life and we should keep building it through out. Self esteem I feel is a much more important concept that is not taught in schools (loving your self for who you are). I think with today's social media age, it becomes really hard for people to avoid showing off their accomplishments. These skills should definitely be taught to our kids for their better future and we definitely should pick it up first to become a better version of our selves.

That is the reason I never made it so far as an artist, because part of your life as an artist is the exposing to others. I have not found a solution to this problem without getting dependend on external validation.

Wow! Thàt makes sense to me. Like a key that opened something i lost for long time: not sharing to others so u can get rid of external aproval. Thank you so much for sharing this in such short time and in an easy understandeble way!

Thank you man. That triggered on me a lot of stuff which I have dealt my whole life. Thank you for the wisdom

This is powerful! Thank you for sharing this!

Thank you Doc for your no nonsense and to the point videos very very helpful. 👍👍

This is so great and definitely resonates with most if not all set of virtuous principles

Crazy, so the social media influencers are actually training their self-esteem to be worse. This explains a lot.

Thank you for this. Your message was simple and effective.

You're an amazing doctor thank you for this advice.

This is SO good. I had to pause this several times because I hadn't heard anyone say this before, despite the solution being so simple. Thank you, you have a new subscriber.

Man this was a good one. Thank you.

Thank you for such a concise and direct video!!

Love your videos and knowledge ❤❤❤❤ thank you 🙏🏼

Wow . I need this.Thank you.

Great advice… simple in theory but not in practice if your struggling in this area… I am and thanks for the reminder sir 🙏🏼

Wow great advice and breakdown, simple and effective!

Thank you for this. I recognize it at truth and truth I need to put in action.

Thanks doc for the real reason behind not tell the goals

Thank you. This education is exactly what I need

God! I’m so grateful for watching this video. Man, you really helped me to make a puzzle of what I needed to feel confident 🙏🏽🙏🏽

Thought provoking and inspiring, thank you!

Second part or trick, I really agree on. You need your own validation, not validation of others. Validation of others is nice, especially because we are social animals, but your own validation is most important.

This may be my favourite RU-vid video of all time

This is the best channel on youtube

This was great. It makes a lot of sense.

Liked and subscribed, high value channel giving constructive rational solutions. Thank you for your time and work!

Wow, was not expecting that plot twist but thank you!!!

Do good things but sneaky. Got it. Be the one to give yourself praise.

I thought i have low self esteem, but from this video I think I have high self esteem because I don't need validation from others. Maybe sometimes I like to take advice from friends. And I sometimes do hard things and don't feel urge to tell about it.

this is super helpful! thank you 🙏❤

I'm fortunate to have a mother who has always pushed me to succeed in life and belives in me. People can try and destroy your self -esteem with comments etc. But I project that right back onto people I don't let anyone put me down. One lady at my job asked me what was the point of my existence . This was the same lady who previously was saying that I was crazy at work. I told this lady that the point of my existance was to learn, be successful , helpful towards others and to live my life how I see fit. Then I told her, unlike you where you seem to only be alive to be used and abused by men and get drunk. I knew that her previous boyfriend had beat the crap out of her. I know this may sound harsh to tell another human being. But people can be extreamly detrimental towards your self-esteem. If you're gonna dish it out you have to be willing to take it. Haha!

Thank you. I mus tsay it again - your insights are just genius to me.

I think the hard part is actually picking the goal or activity. If you decide for example, that you will walk around your apartment complex and pick up trash that people have thrown on the ground, is that a difficult and esteemable enough task even if you don't tell anyone about it? Or do you have to walk uphill a mile to another apt. complex that has messy grounds and then pick up trash, the walking the extra mile being more esteemable?

This is very helpful…thanks for sharing

Thanks for this advice. Just subscribed. ❤

Concise and extremely helpful. Much gratitude from New Zealand 🙏

Thank you for this post.

The information need to be heard by many

Second video I've watched from you and wow. Subbed.

The best way to improve self esteem is to face problems. In school I remember I was this joker of the class who always seeked attention (not in a good way). After that my parents sent me to a hostel. There I got to know how hard life is, but it also thought me how to motivate myself in terrifying situations. It really helped me developing my self esteem. As a result i got this really introspective personality. I am glad that now the the best person that knows mme now is me myself.

This is mind blowing. Do you have any examples of any hard or esteemable goals/activities?

Thank you. Very helpful indeed. No one tells you that. Do hard things, go to the gym etc. yeah and then I got a lot of praise for that. And it happend as you said: My last girlfriend was so into me because of my six pack, my work ethic, my intelligence, my "wisdom" and I got addicted. When it stoped, I got needy AF and she left in an instant. I will never again sell my self-respect and -esteem for validation.

Very practical stuff. No woo woo nonsense.

So good stuff!!

Actually for me the 2nd part seems easier than the 1st part. Both make good sense, good video

Absolutely agree!

This just blew my mind!😯😯😯

"a slave of a thousand masters"... Powerful words

I think most people who do arts for a living have high self esteem, and I'm trying to be that person!

Wow...Brilliant!

My first taught is what is the difference between self estem and self confidence Im going to Google it right now Thanks for video

Good morning 🌅☕ I do that 😀. I talk to mySelf very often before when you talk to yourself you are insane but nowadays it's a sign of intelligence 😀 , it's an affirmation. And I do things because I like it , and because I'm enjoying it , it's my own way of sharing what I have . I apply the principle of never get too attach with the outcome. Love, Peace , Joy, Wisdom and Abundance to All.

Wonderful advice! : )

Genius ❤️

I always consider my time well spent, if the videos from the content creators I've selected to subscribe to; leave me will at least one great idea or thought. You did not disappoint with this topic: Bravo! I love the concept and the phrase, doing "esteemable things". I would never have thought of that expression but it helps to form a great way to sculpt our selection of people, things and experiences; we choose for our lives - living less of a random set of life experiences and more "life design". For instance: > Is bringing a certain person into my life to explore the possibilities of a relationship a potentially "esteemable thing" or will it tear me down? > Is that thing I'm tempted to purchase really necessary or can I get the same result with what I already have, so that I can more quickly achieve other, higher rated "esteemable dreams"? > Will this experience I'm thinking about making a time and effort investment in, offer me a thrill that life won't have been worth living without or is there a better use of my "esteemable investment and time"? Though the expression isn't a deciding factor by any means; it certainly offers another way to ask the question. Thank you.

One of the most beautiful video, I think this video was more important than all videos on women ❤😂

This is really good advice

good stuff. thanks!

Woah! This video reached deep

So true!

Amazing video, have you thought of doing a TedTalk? And also speaking in school, you are amazing. Thank you Ryan!

Even searching this on youtube helps ❤