Gender is a very fluid thing. If you're gender expansive, it's okay. Don't over think gender, its already complicated enough. Experiment at your will, but safely. Sometimes you won't ever know what's your sexuality or gender, which is perfectly fine. Things takes time, so if you're questioning yourself, just be easy with yourself. Be gentle. I'm trans and trust me, it took a while to figure out why I felt a certain way and why I never felt like I was in the "norms". But other than that just live comfortably and not worry so much about your gender (or sexuality). You as an individual is more than just what body parts you are born with and who you want to throw a TV at. ((:
This is probably the best answer I've seen. Honestly I don't know what I am... Luckily I'm busy enough with my studies that I don't spend much time to think about it, but every time I see a video of people coming out, I always question myself about my gender identity. I know I am not comfortable as a girl, but I have to play that role everyday because of the path I'm taking in my career. Now that I have played that role for 3 years, I feel like I might be ok with it =S idk man, it's so difficult...
Simon Buckley that actually helped me since I’m sometimes like “WHAT IF IM JUST ANOTHER TRENDER. IVE LIED TO EVERYONE IM A PIECE OF TRASH. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS??!”
im honestly so confused bc when i was little ( like 5 or 6)i was perfectly fine with being a girl, i was practically a walking gender role, but now i feel like shit being a girl. that's what's the most confusing, because being trans isnt something you develop, but for the past few years ive been unhappy with the gender i am. its really just fucking me up man
it's okay man, that kinda happened to me too. a lot of people don't realise until they hit puberty. and even if it is a "phase", it's what makes you happy now and that's what's important. also, i didn't know trans was a thing until recently so i never even questioned anything because for me it was always just "this is me. i'm a girl." which is actually fuckin painful for me to write now. honestly, if you feel dysphoria and stuff like that, there's a good chance you're trans.
i would say that you sound like you are non binary, not trans. If you don't grow up feeling you are the wrong gender from an early age then it's probably something to do with how the hormones of puberty are affecting you and it will settle in time. Maybe just try and be non binary till your 20s as doing anything permanent can really mess up your mental health if you weren't trans from a child. That way you give your hormones chance to settle and if you feel the opposite gender then, you can start to transition... but being non binary is totally fine if not. Don't be bound by gender roles. Hope that all makes sense.
m hm People are born trans, some just don't realize it early like others do. For example, I'm 15 and didn't find out until last month that I could be trans. I had been going under a male alias for months online, but never in real life. So I transitioned it to real life, and once it stuck, I began the social transition. Currently still refilling my wardrobe (friend's daughter needs clothing, so that was perfect for my situation!), and preparing for any arguments that wearing eyeshadow, having a small purse that could pass for a satchel, and wearing female dress shoes makes me no less of a male than a female who sags and has masculine behavior.
If you have any guy friends who you are super close to ask them if you can wear a some of their clothes. Ik it's scary to go to someone and ask things like that but only do it if you trust the person, it makes things easier and better.
bts ash what I did is just cut my hair and if you mess up they will have to go get it fixed that's what I did and if you put on a sportsbra on and one on backwards it flattens your a chest a little bit and layer shirts
how to know (kinda) •do you feel uncomfortable when people use she/her pronouns and do you feel better when people call you he/him (or vise versa) •do you like it when your chest is really flat •do you feel uncomfortable being called a girls name? •do you feel dysphoric about your boobs or 'girly' figure? how to figure stuff out: •make online friends and introduce yourself as a boys name and tell them you hobby he/him. •if that makes you more comfortable, then maybe tell some of your friends that you are having trouble finding out. •get them to call you he/him for a week and see how it goes
- does being made to pose for "bridesmaid" pictures ruin ur whole day? If so, you might be entitled to social transitioning /j (Fr tho I doubt myself all the time, but recently my dad and stepmom married and she made me pose with "bridesmaid" stamped across my back and it was severely upsetting)
Panda god I’m 13 and I’m realizing how much we’ll.. of a boy I am. I read books a lot and think of fictional characters for myself and there always boys and I like thinking of myself as a boy at times but I’m afraid I’ll regret it if I change or that I’m subconsciously doing it for attention
Panda Did you start questioning at 12 out of curiosity? Mainly cuz I’m 13 and had dysphoria since 11 but recently started to question my gender maybe about a year ago. It would be nice if you could share your story or experiences so I can possibly get some closure. Thx! -kacey
Callen Maes I’m the exact same way! I’m 13 as well and I do the same thing. I’m like so sure I’m trans but that is what’s holding me back. Hoping it’s something I won’t regret.
tip: make online friends and introduce yourself as he/him and use a boy name. since it's online, no one can judge you that much and you could just block them if they judge.
I'm frequently confused by this advice- where on the internet do you go to make friends? (few people on google actually respond to me- and facebook is full of family. :P)
+Ger Does Art thanks :) im really not that brave at all, though. i had to tell him over text and when he told me to call him after school, i "accidentally forgot to."
When I was 3-4 yrs old I look at my brother and I said I'm like you, I started wearing his clothes and eventually my parent started buying me boys clothes. When I was 11 my mom pulled me aside from my friends and she said, "do you want to be a boy". I didn't say anything because I was like wtf you talking about I am. She asked me the same question a couple years later and I just couldn't say anything because we were with our neighbors and they were b**ches. I found out what transgender was when I was a sophomore in high school and I started binding with ace bandages. I got my first binder from trans fellas on RU-vid a couple months ago. Im going to be 18 in 5 months and I hopefully will start T sometime soon. But I love your videos 😊
umm well i don’t know how to tell my mom and do you think there’s an age to know if your trans because i’m 11 and i don’t know if i’m wrong because i’m young
@@kazuichisbraid753 i think u can be, just dont stress over it dont think that ur 100% trans instead just take ur time and stuff, finding someone like a therapist (or the fancy word i forgot) who can help u with gender and stuff could help if ur parents are ok wih
I tried many things, like, I even thaught I was trans at a point. Being a girl isn't my thing, being a guy either, like I don't feel that confortable being only one of those. So I tried just being myself. I look like a mix of both, so I just say I'm like, gender fluid. I wear mostly men's clothes because I feel more confortable in them, but if I ever feel more "girly", I have some little things to help me. I even have two binders. People might not understand me, but I don't even care anymore, I'm me and fuck the others. It took almost 19 years to be myself, I'm not going back. You helped me a lot to be more confident with myself. Thank you, I love you so much xx
i bind, i wear "boy" clothes, i have short hair, and i act pretty "boy-ish" like, i like when people "misgender" me as a guy, but im still pretty fucking scared. i dont know. my friends are supportive and i guess my family is too because they let me wear whatever i want, yet i dont think they will like if i tell them "hey im a boy now! these are my pronouns!!" so idk. i just... its difficult because i really want top surgery and hormones. but idk.
I'm only twelve and feel the same way. I feel like when your in middle school it's hard cuz everyone judges you. I think I'm gonna come out to my guidance counselor, I dunno. I hope you can start you transition soon.
Ezra Jaramillo. Literally same I feel they're okay with me wearing guys clothes and short hair and stuff like that. But scared to tell them and have them react badly. My cousins are cool with it they ask me what they should call me and pronouns and I get shy/ scared and then I say idk.
You are so cute! And I think I'm a transgender boy, but sometimes I feel really feminine. Boys can be feminine, but sometimes I feel like a girl, I suppose. However, female pronouns make me really uncomfortable. Being misgendered isn't exactly a stab to the chest, its more like an uncomfortable feeling that I can explain. At one point I thought I was genderfluid and then I thought I was agender (they/them). I'm still not sure about my identity, I am only thirteen after all. But I'm glad I watched this because I feel like experimenting could really help me out. I never had early signs of being trans, by the way. The thought just suddenly hit me a few months ago like "woah wait.. what if I'm not actually female?". Anyways, you're so cute and I love you and you're amazing and thanks for making this video
Dahvie Fang You're at a tender age right now and I am a transsexual and if you didn't have signs as a child it's probably not your path because trans is a condition one is born with. If I were you just be yourself, girls can be masculine and it's ok to feel insecure about your body. Just take your time to discover yourself and be cautious. You are very young and it's normal to have these thoughts at your age. Have a nice day
schmutzcityusa thanks, I guess? I know you're trying to be kind but I don't really think its a "condition". And I hate my body, I hate when people refer to me as female, and I hate when people call me by my birth name. I'm rambling as usual. I'll leave, sorry
Dahvie Fang Science says that it is a condition. (And there's nothing wrong with having a condition) Well I'm just saying that you're thirteen and lots of people, boys and girls hate their bodies at that age. I think you should give it time. And the fact that you had no signs in childhood signals to me (a transsexual who has a lot of knowledge on this subject) that you don't actually have the condition (which is a good thing because being a transsexual is extremely hard) and you might have something else going on. Well, now I'm rambling. Just take your time and try to figure yourself out.
When I was 12 (last year lmao) I thought I was trans and asked people online to call me male pronouns and I was fine with it and it made me happy. I'm still kind of confused but hey! It doesn't really matter
I can completely relate to that. I'm 12 and I don't have a social life online but all of my game characters are male and I used to call myself Jack. newly updated to Grayson. glad to "meet" another person so much like me.
I'm 12 and last night at 3 in the morning I was crying because I didn't understand if I wanted be be male or stay a female. I told my best friend this morning that I was questioning it and she really wants to help me and I'm so glad I told her she is so supportive.
CC The Wolfachu i am doing so so wonderful thank you i’m going to be 16 in less then a month and i’m an awesome trans guy now. i know who i am and i’m so so proud of who i am now. transitioning changed my life and i’m so happy with who i am.
I can remember when I was like 5 or 6 me and my parents were at this fountain thing, and they gave me a penny to throw into it. When I threw the penny into the water I whispered under my breath "I wish I were a boy." I still think about that to this day and it kind of makes me sad because I'm scared that I'll never get to transition and my younger selfs wish will never come true.
I’m 16 and I’ve just started questioning/feeling dysphoric about everything but for most of my life I’ve never questioned my gender or even considered not being a girl. I’ve always felt like I was different and I’ve always felt like I was pretending to be someone who I’m not, and not knowing who the “real” me was. Idk if this means I’m trans but I’ve recently been going by he/him or they/them pronouns and a more masculine name on the internet and with a few of my friends and it feels super euphoric every time they call me by my chosen name or use my preferred pronouns. I still question myself every day because I feel like since I didn’t show signs earlier that I’m just faking it or it’s something else entirely. To sum it up, I’m super confused about my gender but I’m pretty sure I’m not a cis girl (maybe non binary idk) but I know it’s ok to not know right away so I’m just gonna wait and see if I still feel like this in like a year from now. I know probably no ones gonna read this but if you did thank you and I hope you have a nice day/night k bye
OK this comment is kinda old but i heavily relate, it's so weird being young and being able to identify that you're not like everyone else but you just don't know what's up. i'm 16 as well and have started going by he/him pronouns and a masucline name too ^^ i hope this isn't awkward or anything i just feel relief seeing someone in the same position as me!
@@breakerbeams yeah i getcha. i actually came out to my family recently and they were surprisingly supportive! i hope you find what’s right for you and what makes you happy :)
I am really happy that you made this video. My head is literally such a mess for the past few months. I was raised in a really conservative environment, basically the topic was always very tabu, and I didn't know what trans was until I was at least 14, when I learned english and got into international social media. But even though I never knew the word, I recently remembered, how when I was 11, I told myself "I'M A GAY BOY TRAPPED IN A GIRLS BODY WHAT DO I DO", and then I repressed that feeling till three months ago. Relationship with a straight guy totally made me repress that even harder, I think, and I'm still not out to him, and I'm scared he will break up with me, because he's not attracted to guys at all 😔😔😔😔😭😭😭 Sorry for the wall of text, I just have A LOT of feelings rn
I said to my best friend, that 'I want to be a boy who likes boys" when I was 12. We just didn't know that word "gay" back then (it was a long time ago). I said "want" because I didn't know best expression. In my fantasies I always was a guy with another guy and never a girl. However, I started dated guys because I liked guys a lot, so it felt right at that moment. But in fantasies I always was a guy. I tried to hold as a fantasy, something that I can't ever get, but that was just a denial for years and years. I always was dysphoric somewhat, but it was mild, and now dysphoria really cripples me.
Sam (or literally anyone else who has an answer to my question), do you think there's an age that's "too early" to be trans? I've never been a very masculine girl but once I hit puberty I was just kinda like, 'oh I think I'm a boy'. I've been going by male pronouns and a more masculine name within my friend group and it really feels right, but, I recently told my mom about the way I've been feeling she basically told me 'you're too young'. And not like, 'you're to young to go on T' but just like 'you're too young to be trans'.
Aaa tysm your videos are a huge help and inspiration in my life and I really appreciate what you do. Watching your videos have helped me feel so much more confident.
I am literally doing the same thing! (Ironically the name I chose isn't Daniel). I'm not even 16 and I already said I was trans and came to a conclusion with myself. You can never be too young to know who you are. Just if you can hold of the transitioning (if you're going to do it) until you're 16-18 so you know for sure.
I was really relieved when Sam said that it's okay to find out that you're trans at twelve. I kept feeling invalid or like I was faking it because I didn't think that I was a boy when I was really young, even though I feel different and was devastated when I hit puberty.
oh my gossh i dont know what feels right? :(? im so confused. all i know is i have a strong desire to be a guy, i enjoy dressing like a guy and dressing girly makes me uncomfortable. but then when i think im trans, i start questioning myself.
I get that feeling sometimes, like I'll feel set on being a guy an then I might over think it one night when I cant sleep and get all worried that it was phase. Then when I wake up the next day I go right back to my normal feeling male, but I always know I'll end up doubting myself in a week.
Same here its like im glad i can hide my stuff but i hate my boobs period and hate girly clothes and being objectified by men and i like being extremely masculine so im thinking maybe in just 80 percent 20 percent femme
one of my co workers the other day told me he was trans and I was so accepting of it and I told him about you and Wes and he smiled knowing there is more people like him in the world I am so glad me and him are now friends and because of you I have a really good guy friend who satns you and I love you and he was able to come out to his family with your videos and you've helped him so much
Many transgender say, that they already knew about it when they were 4 years old or something. Like, they always knew. That's actually what makes me so unsure, because I just started thinking about how I wanted to be a boy when I was 12. Now I'm almost 17 and I'm pretty sure that I'm a boy, since I thought 5 years about it and experimented a lot with clothes, cut my hair short and let my friends call me "Nate". But I always keep thinking about, why other transgender already knew so early and I so late. I'm so afraid that I'm just wrong the whole time. Sometimes I think I'm just telling myself that I was born in the wrong gender, but idk. It's confusing, I have so many doubts. My parents are literally telling me every day "what if it's just a phase, you'll make a big mistake". I'm kinda under pressure. And since I'm already having social phobia and my appearance is very shy and insecure, my therapist thinks I'm unsure with being transgender, too. Idk what to do anymore.
Nathan Benning i get what you’re feeling. I always get worried and unsure when I hear trans men say they knew at a young age such as 5 ect. I only started questioning at age 13-14 which is very late I find. I haven’t heard any other trans men start questioning they’re gender that late into they’re teens. Looking back yeah I see some signs that maybe show that I am trans but then again I could just be a Tom boy/butch lesbian. I only came to terms and started doing research and informing myself of trans topics last year two months after my fifteenth birthday. I’m sixteen now and I still am stuck in the same position. Sure I’ve answered some of the big questions I have and I kinda know where I stand but I’m still very unsure. For example dysphoria I do have dysphoria but only about my genitals, my breasts I do not think I have any and that’s why I’m so confused. I have experimented in clothing and even cut my hair short like a boy haircut and omg when I tell you how good it made me feel. I gained a lot of confidence ect I feel comfortable. I still have many doubts about if I’m really trans or if I’m a butch lesbian who wants to use straps and ect. And what if I’m not trans what if I’m wrong and I’m just a trender?? If asked myself if I’m a trender multiple times, so many I can’t even count. But a comment I saw made me feel better and reassured me. Maybe it will help you. « If you’re questioning if you’re a trender, you probably aren’t. ». Anyways to sum it up it’s very confusing trying to figure out if I’m trans just like you, and by what you said I think we have similar issues/doubts and thoughts on this, so I’m here to talk if you’d like. Now I’m not sure if you’re even gonna get back to me because you posted this two months ago or if anyone will get back to me in the Comments because this video is old. But yeah I’m here to listen and share my input :)
I can't really tell if I'm NB or FtM, but I'm gonna keep going I guess. I feel like I'm somewhere in between. Cuz when someone refers to me as 'son' or 'brother' it feels right, but at the same time someone referring to me as 'mister' feels strange, but so does 'miss'
ok so I'm questioning my gender hardcore but the thing is, I never knew that I wasn't cishet when I was young. I know I'm not straight, I'm 100000000% sure of that now but I literally just thought I was completely straight until right after sixth grade.I was 12. I went 12 years without questioning myself and that's what's holding me back now. I'm not comfortable with my gender assigned at birth but I was for 12 and a half years.Please tell me I'm not the only one
kallmekitty you're not. The same thing happened to me and I'm still wondering if it's just a phase idk but when i think about people calling me by he/him pronouns or by the name i want i feel so happy
I started questioning my sexuality when I was about 16. Until that time I was convinced I was straight but now the thought of being with a guy feels ridiculous to me. I couldn't understand how this is possible. Then just about a year ago (I'm 20) I started questioning my gender and now it starts to make more sense. I think that I've always thought I'm straight because when I was looking at guys I just always thought something like "He looks cool", "I love his hair, etc." and just recently I realized that it probably never meant "I want to date him" and it's more like "I want to be like him". I still don't get how I could get those two things confused but now it makes perfect sense to me and I know I am not a girl (more like non-binary than trans). I'm still not sure about my identity so I don't think that your case is weird or anything. There's sure more people like that who start to understand what they are pretty late.
That's totally fine to only start questioning now. I honestly was super clueless about the differences between male and female until I turned 12 and felt uncomfortable and decided to actually do some research. Not everyone works the same away
So. Much. Nostalgia. I first watched this video over a year ago, when I was still figuring things out and I was terrified of being trans. Damn, how time flies.
I first watched this video when I was 19 and it inspired me to try and present masc. I did, and it felt great, and then I got scared of the path I saw ahead and it dragged me into a hyperfemme phase. I knew I didn't have the freedom to really explore myself at the time so I waited and tried to "make" myself be cis. Didn't work. Now it's over 2 years later and I'm experiencing consistent gender dysphoria and euphoria that I've allowed myself to feel. And I can freely experiment with presenting masc and being referred to as a guy. It honestly feels amazing and I can't wait to take more steps forward.
ive known for the longest time that i was different and i just didnt know actually what it was, my uncle is a cross dresser and ive always wonder why he was. after having SEVERAL questions i talked to my older sister and she started explaining the lgbt community to me and i was so afraid to label myself it was scary since i hardly understood it. soo i kept asking questions , my sister never knew why i kept asking such questions at a rweally young age. i honestly thought there was something wrong with me because all the other girls wanted to wear makeup and dresses and stuff, but i didnt. then i began to think i was just tomboy- ish and i didnt think of anything. theeeen one day i read this article about transgender teens and i starting questioning myself. after a couple of years of learning more about it i started to accept the fact that i was transgender. ive told several adults and a couple of friends, and they all accept me....but then there's my mom she found out in the worst way, we stopped talking for about 2 weeks , i guess she is just trying to ignore the fact that she knows now, im no longer able to cut my hair because people are asking questions. ive actually sat her down and told her i know that it isn't easy and that people arent always accepting but if i wasn't sure about it i wouldn't have ever told anyone, and if i wasn't prepared for all the questions then i would've waited til i was a bit older.
Thank you for this. I’ve felt more like a boy than a girl for the past two or three years and when people called me by my deadname or used she/her pronouns, i felt kinda uncomfortable. this was before i found out about transgender. people never really talked to me about transgender and stuff, but i did know about gay and lesbian and stuff, like sexuality. i didnt know about the gender part of the lgbtq+ community. anyway, i did end up coming out to my mom saying “hey, i feel like i might be trans, i dont feel like myself when people refer to me as a female and that stuff. i feel more comfortable when people use he/him pronouns for me and it makes me feel more like myself.” she said she accepts me, but to be honest, she sadly doesnt act that accepting. she now says “oh, you’re too young to know.” (yes, i am a little young but still) “even if you are trans, you wont be a boy, and you will always be a girl.” and theres one thing she’s been telling me thats been making me feel unvalid and it’s been confusing me. “it’s just a phase. actual trans people have felt like the opposite gender since birth, you’ve been girly when you were little. these past couple years, you have been acting like a tomboy, but thats also around the time puberty starts, so you’re probably just having a phase and need your hormone levels checked.” i started feeling more boyish since i was like 8 or 9, and im pretty sure puberty doesnt start too much at that age :/. she’s said things to me ever since i came out to her that have affected me and hurt me. she says transphobic things, not only about me, but about other trans people. she says that they arent actually another gender and are still who they are born as. i have short hair now and i cant get a binder atm so i just wear a bra and baggy clothes, but my mom wants me to grow out my hair because she says i havent been taking much care of it (she isnt wrong, but ive been really upset and depressed lately and i dont really have any motivation to take care of myself or anything, and also her being transphobic isnt really helping) something i do is when i sign up for a game and they ask for my gender, i like to say that im a boy and i make myself look like a boy, it makes me happy and makes me feel better. i also have a boyfriend. he’s very kind to me and uses he/him pronouns for me and uses my trans name (which is elijah, eli for short) and he makes me really happy. he’s also very supportive. i wish there were more people like him in the world, kind and accepting people who have feelings and care about you and use your prefered name or pronouns. anyway, if anyone wants to talk to me or help me out in the replies, go ahead! and again, sam if you’re reading this, i just wanna say, thank you so much for being here and helping us trans people out, we all really appreciate it. -elijah
I've had two or three dreams (One recently, two in the past) where I was trans and went by he/him pronouns. Dreams are reflections of your subconscious... so... idk. Sometimes I feel super girly, and other days I wanna wear button ups. I don't know if this is part of it, but I just got my hair cut super short, but I still want it shorter. It's annoying. UGH.
Thank you very much for this! I started questioning my identity when I was 12, but when I started listening to others’ stories, they always said how they experienced dysphoria their whole life. It made me feel like I might’ve been faking it. This video gives a lot of support and really helped me remember that it’s my own experience that matters. I hope to start T within the next few months!
I always felt weird wearing female clothes and playing with dolls and girl toys I would always feel uncomfortable when someone called me a girl or female but i pushed it aside saying that im just growing up but as i turns 11 i found out about lgbtq and studied about more only the gays pansexuals an etc i never really understood about the trans part but i pushed that aside and continued in my life at the age of 12 i thought i had a crush on many boys and continued to hang out with them but when i turned 13 (still am 13 lmao) i found out why i tried so hard to push aside my feelings and why i thought i have had a crush on many boys i felt confidence in boy clothes and being called a man and no i didnt have crushes on those boys i admired them alot after i while i thought i was going though a phase so i waited for about a week or two (cause my staff member told me that i might be going through a phase) and still felt the same i never got a binder because i need a approval by my social worker and she never got back to me im going to have a meeting tomorrow with her so wish me luck cause im gonna tell her how ive been feeling. P.s i love lgbtq events like alot... lmao Update: i was called allen for 3 years and felt nice and whenever im called allison i want to cry but i cant And i would have the worst feeling when im in public like i need a binder i need to cover my non flat chest and i try to make my hoodie hide my curves, i cant even look in the mirror when i jave to take a shower but i look i just see someone else that isnt the real me.
I’m 23 and I’ve know since I was about 13/14 that I was a bit more different than I originally thought. I got bullied a lot through my school years for different reasons so admitting I was even more different was out of the question. However I have always worn different items of male clothing since that age and my younger brother tends to give me any old clothes he doesn’t like. I came out to my mum as trans recently and bought myself some clothes and started binding properly. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin and I just know that it’s right. It’s been a year as well since I cut my hair short and honestly I’ve never been so sure of myself. Now is just gathering the courage to try a more masculine name and try out different pronouns!
SAM: the other most common question I get is "How do you have sex?" like tf?! Me: Me to Sam me to Sam: I throw a tv at her I don't know Me:*grabs tv* Who wants to be hit?
Your experience growing up trans is very similar to mine. For the longest time I thought that everything I was feeling was nothing. I thought maybe I was overthinking. It helped me to hear how you felt.
this honestly helped me find out that I am trans I have been trying to figure it out for over 5 years thank you so much dude honestly thank you for helping me
I told my friend about your opinion and she bought me binders and men's clothes for trying to make me comfortable! I'm realy happy now so thank you! Ps: I'm French and my English is not amazing😂
I just want to say Thank you Sam. I've been struggling with being Trans my whole life. your videos have helped me so much. It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone. So Thank you.
A few days ago, I kinda had that "oh shit, I might be trans" moment, so I've been watching a bunch of videos like this and finding ways to experiment. Today I bought two pairs of boxers (literally the cheapest ones there) and although I was super anxious buying them bc I knew the cashier, I got home and put them on and it feels so right. Like, it's hard to explain. They're different from other shorts. Not stretchy like my pajama shorts and not as comfy, but they still feel so right compared to those shorts. I've been wearing mens clothes since I was like 13-14 and shopping in the women's isle for myself is super rare. I only browse out of boredom or if it's a gift. I also had short hair since I was 12, but once I got the "men's" undercut I've wanted since I was 11, it felt g r e a t. I've been experimenting with male pronouns and the name "King" with my best friend and people online, and although the name is weird to get used to, it feels right. I doubt I'd stick with King when I'm older, but it's just testing for now. I also absolutely love it when some kids at work tell me I look like a boy or if someone asks me if I'm a boy, even before I considered the possibility (I came out as a lesbian at 12 bc I'm certain I like girls.) Yeah this turned into a rant oops. The main areas I hate are my chest, waist, hips, and my thighs. I'm also 16 atm, and recently got diagnosed with ADHD, so I don't wanna rush it or anything. With how right this feels, there's a good possibility I'm actually trans, but there's no guarantee yet. I also only started feeling this way when I was 10-11, roughly when puberty started. At 12, I thought I was genderfluid, but drifted away from that due to lack of support (my dad said it was a phase and it hurt r e a l bad), and thought it was just a phase until recently. Now I'm pretty sure it's relevant.
i did the same thing, i felt like that for a ehile and brushed it off and tried to girl. but that didnt work and so i started accepting myself over the course of three years after finding the word transgender in the first place. for about a year I denied it but still kept looking up videos and blogs about it and i knew that, that is what ive been feeling for all thoes years
It makes so much sense why I’m so jealous of my brother and how my parents treat him and how he can go to the beach shirtless and he is comfortable with his body. Also, being in the girls dressing room in theater, girls used to change and be in bras and underwear and I would always wanna ask “how are you so comfortable looking like that and being like that?” but not in a shameful way, but a genuinely curious way. how are they so comfortable with themselves?? then i realized i’m trans and it made so much sense
I honestly have no clue at this point. I know I would feel way more comfortable in a mans body, flat chest, no hips, but I dont know if being a man would make me happier.
i feel exACTLY like this. like, i feel as if i'd be more comfortable with a mans body, but i'm not sure if fully transitioning/coming out as a dude is actually what i'm feeling/what is going to make me happy (also this is a really old comment so i hope you've got things figured out by now!!)
Sam I just want to thank you. October 2017 I started testosterone. Prior to that I was so lost, so confused and trying to find answers to these voices and questions inside my head. Februar 2017,almost 20. I came out as possibly trans when I was 13 and was never taken seriously. I stumbled across your video back then. And It was one of the few that helped me along the way. Now I 3 years on T. I have never thought I could start to live
I'm ftm myself and you're my biggest inspiration! I recently came out (last year around November) and I wanna wait a lil while before I start T and shit but seeing you makes me so happy Bc I want to finally be able to be my true self just like you are!
I'm trans FTM and I have felt like this for a long time. I'm not 17 and I'm not telling my parents that I'm tans. and this videos really help me think and know that I'm not alone. so thank you Sam for being there for all of us.
I remember at 5th grade I refused to say the pledge of allegiance in school and they always asked me to stand up and put my hand on my heart and say the pledge. I refused. They asked me what, so fifth grade me stumbled over their words cause could I really explain that I felt as I was touching my (very small) chest/ (ugh, hate his but, boobs) and I hated that part and wanted it flat like a guys so I refused to say the pledge. I also refused to accept that they were growing I remember like 4 or 3 years ago I saw my brother working out and had big muscles amd I wanted them so bad so I began to work out a lot, he noticed and said that I would rip my muscles cause of it. I got discouraged and cried and quit. I hated when my parents said "my little girl" I go by Aj, I know this is a gender neutral name, I was going to pick Andres but that's my dad's, step brothers, and brothers name soo no. Original name is erica and eric reminds me of a person that portrayed up . My school counselor is a femme lesbian and she started calling me he and Aj and I love it!
Thank you so so very much for this video. This explained so much to me, though I didn't grow up with the feeling that something just wasn't right. Starting at around 5th grade I saw myself differently than I had previously, I didn't want to wear dresses or have long hair. I've been telling my mom I'm just a tomboy until last year when I started REALLY thinking about this. The only times I've really felt comfortable were in boys clothing (I have some cargo shorts and baggy t-shirts and such) I convinced my mom to let me get a haircut, like an actual full-on haircut, I'm so happy with it. Yet something still doesn't feel right, cause I know that I'm never going to be able to come out to my (transphobic) parent who doesn't understand any of this. I'm not going to be able to get a binder till I move out or turn 18. So i've been questioning this a lot recently, and thank you... This video helped me a lot
I just recently found out that I'm transgender FTM. And that's when I found your videos because I was looking up stuff about transgenders and stumbled across you. You have literally helped me out so much through this process. Thank you💖
Me feeling gender dysphoria, feeling gender envy, liking it when people refer to me as a boy, wanting to cut my hair, and wanting to bind my chest My pea brain: *”nah I’m cis”*
I’m 14, and I’ve known I’m bi since I was 9 or 10, but even before that, I always knew I was “different” I guess. I would have crushes on girls and not understand why, but I liked them just as much as and sometimes more than guys. If you are LGBTQ+ don’t worry about labels. I hate when people assume you “are” or “aren’t” something. And even stupider, someone will assume that (let’s say you’re gay) just because a guy is hot or whatever you have to like them. Be yourself and don’t let people tell you otherwise because you are the only one who ever really knows you. Love your videos Sam:)
When I think of myself as the girl I was born as, I have felt very self conscious of everything, my hair, my clothing, my body everything, I was not happy with myself and I was confused for a while. I started wearing men's clothing and even got a haircut, I started acting more of a boy then a girl and I felt good about myself. I felt like I could and can do more than I could as a girl. I saw how I was able to talk to people, not as shy, my self conscious grew when I saw myself not as a girl, I was and is happy. I just came out to my family two weeks ago that I'm trans and they took it well surprising. I also told a childhood friend who I thought would take it ok, but was not what I was excepting. It hit me hard, but I am glad to have those close to me be supportive of it all. I just became a subscriber of yours Sam, after watching one of your vids. I plan on watching more. Good day to you kind sir, was nice watching you and look forward to more.
i like when people call me with male pronouns online, and i changed my name but only the people who know about it are my friends online. i feel uncomfortable because i feel forced to be a girl but i like being a male more. my friend ash actually helps me a lot and i look up to him and you. i currently use he/him/they/them pronouns and identity as trans/non binary. this video was amazing,, thank you sam💜💜
Thank you so much for making videos, I'm a trans guy in a religious family, my parents try to understand me. I showed your videos and it really helped! Thanks bro ❤💪
I get so happy when you post videos even when they have nothing to do with me, like stuff about being trans. The video is still entertaining to me. Anyways you just make me happy love you Sam 😊💕
Hey, Sam. Can you make a video where you show us what you looked like before you became trans it would be cool to see that xBTW I love your videos, and you!
One thing I want to add with experimenting is that, even if it is right for you, it might feel weird at first. When I first came out, it wasn't all instantly wonderful and better. It was actually weird to hear people call me Jake and use he/him pronouns to refer to me at first because I'd had a different name and pronouns for 16 years. But after I got used to it, it made me feel really good. So don't get discouraged if you decide to experiment or transition socially and it doesn't instantly feel amazing. Maybe that means it isn't right for you, or maybe it means you just aren't used to it. As with every other part of transitioning, be patient, talk it out with people, and don't rush anything.
YES!! this is the thing most people don't think of. They'll be like "my mom just called me a he for the first time and it didn't feel like the best thing ever" and stuff. I've been through that too lol. I've literally felt guilty when anyone in my family called me by my preferred name. Now it's amazing. It took a while.
How do you begin to feel validated in your gender when half the people are telling you you don't exist and the other half tries to be supportive but still thinks there is something wrong with you?
If anyone could possibly help me it would be amazing. I’m 13 currently and female (I think?) and my story is a bit confusing but gender is confusing as fuck either way. When people use he/him pronouns I get so happy (my friend used Sir instead of Ma’m and it made my heart flip and my stomach tumble with happiness.) and with she/her I’m fine with it but it doesn’t give me the same rush he/him does. I like most girls clothing (although I would never wear it.) and I like to wear and do makeup (it’s mostly only winged eyeliner and blush but it’s still makeup.) my relationship with my chest is.. okay but not great. I hate my chest personally, I would like it to disappear. I try to bind it with a smaller sports bra but it doesn’t feel right because they’re still there. Every time I get my period it’s not the normal girl hate, it’s almost a “this doesn’t feel right” kinda hate. Although before I hit puberty (I was about 9 or so.) whenever I met someone online and they asked my gender I would say I’m a boy, whenever a site asked for my gender, boy, etc. it’s only people I know I will get close to I call myself a girl, and at times it doesn’t feel right. (I tell people I know I will close with I’m a girl because I feel like if I say I’m a boy and they find out I’m not I will get so sad because they might find it weird or gross.) and I still say I am a boy at times to people or sites. But here’s the most confusing part, I don’t get terrible gender dysphoria, it’s only at certain times. (My period mostly or whenever I start to think on the topic of gender.) But my body dysphoria seems to be the worst out of it all. At times it feels right but also at times it feels wrong, horribly wrong. I do not know what I am. What would I be considered? Would I be FTM? Would I be better as a they/them?? I know it takes some time to think over (and by time I mean years for some.) But I think it’s better to have a possible answer in the start. (Thank you if you actually read this.
I almost feel the same, although I never referred to myself as a boy before this all, and also I tend to question myself bc im the exact way almost. Although, I hope you have found out who you are ! :)
I knew I was different ever since I was young but I was so occupied with ballet that I never explored anything else but ballet. Then, I went to the hospital because of suicide attempts. Then, I got into college, and I found out what trans was and it matched me. It was amazing. I just came out to my family and it went great. I love it.
TW kinda venty thing about self doubt and internalized transphobia . . . . My dad told me that when I was little I'd watch him shave, he said he used to watch his grandpa when He was little to try and learn to shave. I don't know if I was trying to learn cuz I was a little baby child, I don't have those memories. I do remember being a 9 yr old who tightly held onto the "tomboy" label, cut my hair short for my 9th birthday, and got really excited when I found out girls could be called Tyler bc Tyler was a "boys" name so I wanted that name I have this "proof" I'm trans, and I Still doubt myself sometimes cuz theres so many things that get drilled into us My mom believes transition is SH, that being queer means well never have "paradise" after life (as if I care about that part tho), that I'm only this way bc of trauma or body dysmorphia. Like maybe I just have self esteem issues or think I just don't look attractive enough, I've Even TRIED being "more feminine " as in "maybe I feel like a guy bc I'm not feminine enough to feel like a girl" But then I just end up feeling like a guy in a dress, and then getting upset bc ppl read me as a girl even more than they already do Theres so many things that point to me being trans and I've even tried to repress it so many times yet I still have doubt bc of society ig. And fears bc we already get harassed enough pre-medical transition
Not me coming back again 😭. It's just, I'm going to get my first hormones in March (testosterone gel, yay) and I've been questioning if this is what I really want. But looking at all my fears, I realize that most of them are about how others will feel about me, not about how I feel about myself. I have kind of a crush on this guy at school, that was the trigger for all of my questioning. I think he's straight, so even if for some miraculous reason we end up dating, it'll be very short lived because I'm a trans guy. So I think that if I remain looking like a girl, he'll like me (this happens every time I get a crush or fall in love smh). Also, since I'm in highschool, everyone will see my transition, and I hate it so much. I hate that it's such a public thing. I'm scared of getting bullied, of teachers accidentally misgendering me in front of my classmates, of being judged,,, it doesn't help that I'll be the only trans person in the entire school. My country is very transphobic (Brazil), so there's also that. I guess what I've been thinking subconsciously is "is it worth the hassle?". It is worth it because I feel miserable in my body, I'm just scared of others. I think I'll just keep in mind that once highschool is over, all my documents are fixed and I get top surgery, I'll be able to be 100% stealth and no longer at such high risks. Just a bit of self reflection. Idk, maybe this could help someone who feels a similar way?
I am thinking about changing my name, i have one picked out but how do you tell people that, that is happening or like how do you tell them at all I am just a little confused why people never talk about this. Can you help me please?
Liv LeBlanc make online friends and introduce yourself as he/him and your new name. then when it comes to telling ur real friends, it'll be hopefully easier for you
Well I changed my name to what was already kind of a nickname amongst me and my friends. Please, if you want to change it by deed poll, choose something non-regrettable, because I changed it to what was essentially an inside joke and now I'm named after a murderer. My name isn't Andy, BTW, I'm on my dad's account.
Um hi Sam... I just came out as transgender today at my school to a teacher I trust.... He was very supportive and glad that I came to him about it........ I cried because knowing who I am and someone excepting me is the best feeling in the world......
I think that if you're confused, about either your gender or your sexuality or anything else, you should just focus on other stuff. Like school, or friends or family. You'll figure out eventually how you feel, but in the meantime you won't waste a second wondering how you feel. Just keep swimming and try to see the good things in life. There are many of them, and sometimes it's hard to find them, but they're still there.
you're my favorite youtuber for so many reasons. Watching all your videos and just hearing all of this just makes me feel not so alone. After I watched some videos before it encouraged me to come out. and I have. But the way my family react is denial and it puts me down. but when I'm watching and listening I'm somehow reassured. Reassured that it's who I am. thank you so much sam💙
this will be a long comment, but it’s a summary of how i’ve felt and i post this in hope of people, who are confused and questioning, reading this and maybe finding some answers to their questions i didn’t have the early signs of being trans and i never had a problem with wearing dresses, but as i grew older and could choose my own clothes to wear, i wore more and more masculine things. i had absolutely no reason to cut my hair short - i just wanted to - and when i got it cut, people’d call me a boy all the time, and it amused me so much. on the internet people’d also think i was a boy, which made me happy, and whenever someone on the internet would call me a girl it felt wrong. i also remembr when i was younger, my chest hurt a bit, so i asked my mom what the cause of that could be and she said “i think you’re growing breasts” and i was like, um no that’s not what i want. but it happened, i completely ignored it for three years until someone pointed out to me that i had them (which made me so fucking uncomfortable, like the feeling was immeasurable). after that my chest dysphoria got worse. i would try everything to hide them away by layering and wearing hoodies. later on i met this girl who was just like me: a tomboy. i really looked up to her and i really wanted to be like her. but one day i figured out she’s actually trans ftm, and that made me think like “huh, so if i want to be like him, maybe i’m trans as well?” and boom here we are i’m coming out to my family as ftm in less than a week.
This video is a godsend because I've been questioning my gender for about a year now and I've wondering if I could be trans. I actually just found and subscribed to you today lol but thanks for making this video, Sam
Hello. I am a 14 year old girl, having second doubts about myself. The feeling had always been here since the age of 6, and only at the age of 12 was I beginning to realise that there was indeed something different about me. I was never a very social person, distancing myself from people as much as I could, avoiding friends and parties like the plague, I assumed that something was wrong with me. Only recently have I been considering that I was born the wrong gender, sometimes it makes me feel extremely depressed, and nervous, sometimes I stay up till 3 in the morning researching what I can do for myself to feel more comfortable. I stumbled across your videos a few weeks ago and have been watching all of them ever since. I find them relatable and funny, and it made me realise that I indeed might be transgender... I just kind of need to come to terms with myself I guess?? some days I don't feel like my gender is necessary, other days I'm glad to be a girl, others I hate myself, and my body with a burning passion, scratching at my wrists to fill a desire to hurt the cursed shell I have been placed in. Though I know I just need some time, sometimes it annoys me, I wish I could just jump genders whenever I wanted (I think a lot of people can relate with me there pffft) so I could be whatever I wanted! But unfortunately that is not the way of the world haha. I believe your videos may have changed my life, and I hope one day I can figure out where my place is in this world. Thank you Sam, your really fucking cool
After consciously questioning my gender for four years, only to finally realize I'm trans and come to terms with it and another year to make sure I felt this way and come out to my brother and two close friends, here I am watching videos to make sure I'm not faking
Hey, I'd like to add something here. When I began regularly wearing men's clothing, it highlighted my discomfort whenever I switched back. I noticed I would change out of my women's clothes ASAP and I realized I felt as though I was cross-dressing when I dressed femininely. I would have never come to this conclusion without experimenting. Hope this helps others.
For me it has never really been about the clothes all that much. It's more about the sheer wrongness I feel when it comes to my body and the way people call me something that feels wrong for reasons I can't explain. Hearing about other peoples experiences is really interesting tbh.
I’m 13, a girl, and I’m always acting like a boy. If people called me a guy I don’t think I would mind it. People actually do say I act like a guy most the time which I’m okay with. I think I’m trans, and it scares me to death. My mother, I think, would be supportive... my father on the other hand... Whenever me and my twin sister are talking about a cute gay couple my dad will scoff, one time a Drag Queen came on the tv and my dad was saying “I’m gonna black this channel because this is not right! They shouldn’t be putting this on tv because then kids will think this is okay!”. I hate that part of him, I hate it. If I was trans, he would disown me for sure... that scares me. I think I’m trans, I’ve been quiestions for for like 2 months now, and I keep crying and stressing myself out over it. Idk what to do, it’s almost 1 in the morning rn and I’ve been doing research and different stuff with my hair for almost 6 hours now. I hate long hair that I’ve been thinking about cutting short (like boy short) for a WHOLE now, but my mom would KILL me. My mom might be supportive, but she’s strict about how short I cut my hair. My freaking Bitmoji I designed to what I want to look like, and now I’m like “I might really be trans”. Edit: this is the FIRST time I’ve EVER talked about this. This took me some guts to actually say all that, so thanks if you read that.
Wearing mens clothes in the beginning, when you alredy dont know if you're trans, does feel comfortbale. Not that comfortable when you have your partners hoodie on, rather the comfortable feeling of being yourself.
When I was younger I was hyper feminine, to the point where everyday I would wear just the most outrageous and girly kinda clothes. But I still remember certain parts of my childhood where I just kinda thought I was a dude. Plus when I started going through puberty and got my first ever " shark week" I kept telling my mom "why did I have to be a girl" just constantly. I started to hate my body, my hair, my everything. And it wasn't just an insecurity thing, I just didnt feel like it was my body. Then when I was 12, I impulsively got my hair cut super short, and my mom was okay with it. I had many people start calling me sir or using Male pronouns to refer to me. At first it felt kinda weird bc I was so used to being referred to as female but then I eventually got to the point where I would just go out and dress very masculine just so I would be referred to as a dude. Rn I'm at this point where idk if I'm trans or not. Every person who's open about being ftm online has said they knew when they were younger, but I didnt, at least not that I remember. I remember being super girly and feminine, to fit in. But I dont know. A cis male friend or mine said its bc I'm lesbian and lesbians "will sometimes try to be really masculine to attract females" which I tried to research but didnt find anything on it. But he also said that he k ew what he was talking about bc another friend of his went through the same thing but I dont thing hes right if I'm honest. Idk I'm just confused. If you can help please do.
sounds like dysphoria. Also, I've not been really masculine before puberty either and I'm transgender too. Also there's a difference between wanting to attract "other" women and having dysphoria. Most butch lesbians I've been in contact with don't really like being gendered as a guy and get like annoyed. So if for you he/him feels right, you're probably transgender.
I’m starting T next month in April and honestly you’re one of my main role models, thanks for posting your vids and stuff they’re really inspirational and help me understand my own actions when I was younger (I catfished too, am 5”1 and really hated myself :/ ) My family is very conservative, always pressuring me to dress and look feminine, get married to a man and have kids (I’m in Hong Kong) and it took me more than 10 years to make the decision to transition. I’m 25 this year (renting my own apartment, financially and emotionally independent) and Sam your vids let me feel like there’s hope in this world and I can be happy if I live on my own terms too so thank you again for being such a cool guy and sharing your experiences with us!!
I've been searching if I'm trans for years. I doubted myself because I knew I could never do it. These past few months have opened my eyes. I know who I am now. I imagine myself in everyday situations as a boy and I know it's me. I may be trans, but I know I'll never give up makeup. It's a part of me that I really enjoy and I'm good at. I don't really like wearing it too much, but I love putting it on other people. I know I'd be more comfortable wearing guy clothes. I've only told 2 people and I wish I could tell everyone. I wish we had enough money to start t, to get top surgery. I've chosen the name Remus for myself. (I was experimenting with names on RU-vid and I didn't know you could only change it 3 times, so It's stuck on James.) I'm just ready for everyone to see the real me.
Thanks for making this video. I am 22 and just realizing seriously for the first time that I might not be a cis woman has been really hard for me and really confusing. I just can’t believe it took me this long but I always knew something was different. And thank you so much to everyone in the comments helping each other out as well, people like all of you are the reason I can be myself and I will forever be thankful for that.
I love you so much. You probably won't see this but you have inspired me so much and helped me come out and feel more confident about myself. Thank you so much💓
I had a really difficult time figuring stuff out. I grew up as a girl, feminine clothes, long hair, barbie dolls, but I also played with the boys and dressed in shorts and a T-shirt as well as all my frilly dresses. The first time I had started to question stuff was in sixth grade. I was singing Hey There, Delilah and I realized I sounded very masculine to myself. So, I went to my brother, said some other kids said I sounded like a boy(no-one said that, I was lying), I sang for him, and when he said I did, I felt really relieved. I had this moment asking, "Wait, why did that make me happy?" Throughout middle school I continued to question, I came out at school in seventh grade, cut my hair short and started going by Daniel. My parents didn't like that I was cutting my hair short, they refused to acknowledge the pronouns and name I went by. By the end of eighth grade, something felt off. I still didn't have a binder, wasn't on hormones or anything, but I realized how feminine I was. "Am I not a boy? I still kind of want to wear a dress, I still want to get into makeup, I guess I'm not a boy." So, I took a step back. I started going by Dani, using they/them pronouns. I started to feel a little more comfortable, until I actually got a binder Christmas of this year as a sophomore. My friend gave this to me right after I had to go bra shopping with my Mum, and that started a really big thing in me. I realized, I never wanted to wear a bra, even on days I thought were girl days (gender fluid) I wouldn't put on anything but my binder, even if I was in a dress. So, I started going by Danny, he/him pronouns and I'm the most comfortable I've ever been even with the dysphoria. I pass really well, thankfully, I've always been a twig with no chest or hips, my voice can go deeper, and I can pull off the look. After years of contemplating, I realized, I'm just a semi-feminine boy. So what if I wear a dress sometimes? I wear it better than you do anyway, Emily, go bake your brownies, I'll be over here being myself. I want to start taking T, I know I'm going to have top surgery, but my family is still transphobic. We'll see how it goes in the end, but it will be a process and I can't wait to finally look in the mirror and see my face, my actual face.
