It's too bad youtube does not promote channels like this, it's clear that you care about your audience and want to add value to them, oppose to the other money grubbers on RU-vid. If you ever want an animation done for you you, let me know :) Keep up the great work Charlie
So the 100 million views this channel has, from RU-vid promoting his videos hundreds of millions and even billions of times, doesn't count?! I agree that this is a great channel but come on...
Yonatan24 Let me make myself clear, in comparison to the absolute trash channels such as the Paul brothers, this channel isn't promoted enough for the quality content it produces.
Just roll with it. You are a Charlie now. Accept it, move on, and see if you can find another Charlie out there who can't figure out how to substitute proper nouns in pre-set introductions.
I've always done it with all videos. Your mind can get all the informations normally and it consumes less time, your mind just needs to adapt to the new speed
I walked up to a woman and said "Hey, I don't think I've met you yet. I'm Charlie" and shook her hand We're married now She still thinks my name is Charlie
Teacher: Did you do your homework? Me: You are asking me if I did my homework? Teacher: Yes. Did you do it? Me: Hey, I don't think I've met you yet. I'm charlie
I'd like to expand on Charlie's summary: 1. Do the opposite of what your body wants to do: Take a deep breath, put your arms down, and stand "tall" with shoulders back, chest out. 2. Have a "go-to" phrase that you can say each time you meet someone in a certain situation, such as "Hi! I don't think we've met yet. I'm (your name)." Your go-to phrase(s) can be anything that have worked well for you. 3. Know your framework or "step by step" process. For example on a date, start with fun banter, then share each other's values, and then make longer eye contact or even non-sexual touching. (Charlie has a link to the different frameworks.) 4. If you ever feel lost in a conversation or are unsure of what to say, you can repeat what you (think you) just heard as a question. This forces the other person to repeat or clarify what they said.
Thank you so much for creating this content! As someone who has ADHD and Autism I struggle so much with social interactions and you are really helping me learn more about what to do, even if I don't really understand it.
Even for me just adhd, there is so many layers to things humans do. Understanding it can help but is different than learning how to relate to it to some extent.
"Do the opposite of what your body tells you to do." *twerks against management table* Job Interviewer: "What are you doing?" Me: *In a more relaxed tone* "Relieving my stress. Why the concern?"
I didn't start doing this first tip until a few months ago when someone told me, "Anything you feel, besides physical pain, you have the power to change." This has got me to start controlling my breathing, taking control of my feelings. Once you even have even just mild results it feels amazing!
How is this guy so genius. The sheer simplicity of the things he says blows my mind. “Hey, I haven’t met you yet. I’m Randy.” That is the simplest easiest thing I’ve never thought of. You can say that to ANYONE you don’t know and it’ll just unfold into a conversation. Thank you Charlie, I’ve watched your videos for years and you’ve helped my interactions so much. There’s just nowhere else to get this help!! Not everyone has the confidence to trial-and-error human interaction
This video is so needed for me. When I feel like there’s a lot of attention on me (from presenting or even putting my hand up in class to group situations) I feel like my mind goes foggy and I can’t think straight. I’m usually pretty confident but I become a different person and it’s the worst because I feel like there’s a physical boundary that I need to put the work in to stop.
No no... if you doubt you have that, you might decide yourself that you have social anxiety. Go to a RU-vid channel named Vanessa Van Edwards and look at her recent about how to deal with social anxiety. This might help you.
Responses like these are usually because you're so focused on yourself that you lose confidence. The techniques in this video are genuinely helpful. One other thing is working on your mindset as you'll develop your confidence. Do things, routines, that put you in a frame of mind that will have you believe the day ahead is going to be an amazing day. You'd be amazed how much of a positive effect this will have. In addition, practice! Seriously, if you get nervous in a group setting, then don't be afraid to push yourself to speak your mind. At first it's hard, but I promise it gets easier
In the Marines, we are taught a phrase over and over when dealing with high pressure situations- “slow is smooth, smooth is fast.” What do you think about that? I thought about that especially on your first point.
03DM M240 My Soul Mirror was in the army; she taught me many things, along with “slow is smooth, and smooth is fast” and it has been absolutely one of the most consistently useful bits of mindware I’ve yet acquired.
Epic Mautauche It means to slow down your movements and thought process enough for your rational mind to keep pace. For example, in Boot Camp the drill instructors are constantly screaming at you to go faster and faster and faster while you are required to perform different things from simply unlocking a combination lock to disassemble and assembling crew served weapons for cleaning and maintenance. You have to be fast and accurate in your movements, because in a combat situation your body movements will often go faster than your mind which makes you spaz out. So just take a breath remember slow is smooth and smooth is fast and you will find that what you’re doing is much faster than if you just go as fast as I can but really all you’re doing is shaking and spazzing out.
I found your comment very helpful and have learned something today. Thanks for sharing that. Also, kudos on the way you treated 14-year old 'Epic Mautauche'...your patient explanation, I think, clarified it for more than just him/her and we have gained valuable insight on something we didn't know that we didn't know. You have the makings of a great teacher, as well as, no doubt, being as chilled as a cucumber in an iceberg when under pressure. Awesome stuff. :}
Good stuff; here's my summary: • If there's something valuable to win, a high-pressure situation is usually the gate-keeper, e. g. dates, exams, job interviews etc. • 3 strategies to excel in high-pressure situations: 1. Do the opposite of what u'd do by instinct □ We tend to do the wrong thing by instinct, that is get nervous, shut down, close off etc. □ Better: Consciously open ur body language, take a deep breath & calm down □ Think of the rituals athletes use to change their physical state 2. Know the first thing to do/say in a particular type of situation □ Have a standard go-to-strategy, e. g. particular ice-breakers for meeting new ppl at networking events □ e. g. "Hey! I don't think I've met u yet. I'm [insert name]." 3. Know ur frameworks for each type of situation □ There are many different frameworks (due to processual regularities), e. g. for dates, first impressions, case studies etc. □ e. g. good dates have 3 elements (in that order): 1. Intrigue / interest (first spark; light fun; air of mystery) 2. sharing of values, ambitions etc. (make a deeper connection) 3. physical / sexual tension (comfortable long eye contact etc.) □ Use these frameworks as mental checklists to navigate these situations • Extra tip: Caught off-guard by a question? Rephrase the last words as a question ("Blablabla. What do u think of X?"->"Oh, u want my view on X?") ○ That gives u valuable time to change ur state, think etc. ○ Bonus points, if ur opponent even elaborates the initial question as a follow-up
I just wanted to say thank you so so much. These videos help someone who has a behavioural disorder to read other behavioural traits and stop them from feeling lonely and unwanted. On behalf of myself and others like me, thank you ever so much!!!
Charlie, thank you again for your words of wisdom. They really do work! I was in a public setting all of today, and just by opening up my arms and rolling back my shoulders, I was totally at ease! Thank you for your dedication to this channel, it really does make a difference.
Ryan Secord this works 100 % if not then u still care but when u dont give shit anymore ur rock solid but yes u do end up as a litte cold on the inside haha
I can't express how thankful I am for coming across this channel. As a person who has gone through a very rough year on my personal self worth, it's amazing how motivational these videos are to get myself back on my feet; whether its taking mental or physical notes on my diary. Keep up the good work!
Superb video. But, let me share this here knowing it can uplift someone that comes across it. Effective financial management made me rich and it is all you need if you want to build a strong financial future tomorrow. I started with 1000USD, 3 years ago I invested in a diversified stock market and fast forward to now I am worth 500000USD and am currently finishing my 8 unit apartments. I'm only 35 years old. Diversified stock investments have always proven to be very profitable, especially with the help of experts.
I'm really impressed. At 35, i was worth a little over $200,000 from * in the stock market. But what you've done with your *finances* and numbers you worth, is pure genius.
You have done well. It's people like you who set the benchmark for people like us to know that achieving financial stability and transition of status from being comfortable to wealthy is possible with the right *investment* plan.
@@arlingjonathan4263 Experience plays a key role when *investing* in diversified *stock markets*, which is why I have Rachel Hilda, whose experience has greatly helped me persevere in the diversified *stock market*. For three years she helped me grow my portfolio using her diversified knowledge of the financial *market*.
@@charitytoke6461 Thank you very much for the response, I don't know if you can share a medium that I could use to communicate with Rachel. It's really a tough time for me due to inflations and an additional source of *income* would be exactly what I need for me in these unprecedented times and does she accept a minimum amount for startup?
Jokes aside there is a lot of stuff that he covers that you'd expect people to have already (charisma wise) then you go out into the world and everyone's a jerk.
Charlie i have recently seen all your *infront of the camera* videos, it is amazing how much you have imporved your presentation skills, honestly i dont think there is a better presenter considering that you only make one take videos, with no cuts. I would love if you could go deeper on explaining how you prepare the videos. I know you already did a videos called "zero notes needed", but if you could go a little deeper it would be awesome. Thanks for sharing amazing, mind shifting content.
This is what I was thinking, his on camera charisma is amazing when you consider the subtleties of how he communicates. In general, I feel they've really done great work with how they generally edit videos, it's really come a huge way.
I had a similar experience with this, had this one friend that always attacked me in a social situation, I tried this technique. after a while though all the humility, I started speaking up ... go for it!
My guess is that the number one thing that would help you is slowing down. Often times we think we are speaking much more slowly than we are (if you've watched yourself on tape, it becomes obvious). Take a deep breath, collect your thoughts without filler words, and take advantage of the silence. In addition to giving you a few extra seconds to think, it can be great for commanding attention if you don't interrupt it with filler words
My guess is that the number one thing that would help you is slowing down. Often times we think we are speaking much more slowly than we are (if you've watched yourself on tape, it becomes obvious). Take a deep breath, collect your thoughts without filler words, and take advantage of the silence. In addition to giving you a few extra seconds to think, it can be great for commanding attention if you don't interrupt it with filler words
Charisma on Command I think you're right. Many times I scramble through thoughts in my mind and can't seem to get anything out. Slowing down will definitely help. Looking back, I also do tend to interrupt silence and use filler words often. I will make a conscious effort to stop that. Thank you very much!
lol, I was about to respond with the same suggestions as the guys at Charisma on Command (not sure if it was Charlie or Ben). Another thing that might help is consider where your focus is. Often when we stumble on words or feel nerves it's because our focus is so heavily on ourselves rather than who we're talking to. For example, if you struggle in social situations, one really good thing is to keep asking questions, because if you ask others about themselves, then your focus is on them, not yourself. This can be a great confidence booster as you feel more comfortable in the conversation. I'm aware that may not be an answer to your specific issue, but hopefully identifying where your focus is when speaking will help you understand how to overcome it.
I'm like this. And then I try and jokingly address the fact I'm being inarticulate but then am inarticulate in doing that and come across as a complete mess. Charlie is right though, I slow down and try and form the sentence in my mind first, even if it means pausing for a while mid-sentence, and it does help.
People, this stuff is gold. I used to have people tell me I was bizarre for "always thinking about situations constantly" and it was just my OCD when I'd ask if other people did that. (I think about every conversation I've had or will have over and over and over and why I said and why they said, etc) Turns out, if you think all the way through possible responses and your answers and again, their responses, you can literally queue up an automatic response to anything a person says because you've already 'loaded the magazine' and just have to shoot off your response. Because you've already "experienced" the situation in your head, it's like muscle memory and it's all right there for you to use. Sure there are an infinite number of responses, but you can ALWAYS narrow it down to just a couple of the most probable situations yeah, this is good stuff.
Hey, what's up? I haven't met you yet but you're reading my comment. The reason that I am here watching this video with you is because I haven't been social with anyone when i was quarantined during the Covid-19 pandemic. This youtuber is very skilled in helping me with social skills, when I talk to people, I would first introduce myself while emptying my mind and only after the introduction, I will read the other person like a book and if you cant read them, just ask what do you do for a living? It's actually really easy when you think about it
HR Manager: So I've called you in because of the sexual allegations against you Me: Hey, I don't think I've met you yet, I'm Charlie HR Manager: You're fired
@Fluffy Waffles HR Manager: “So, I've called you in because of the sexual allegations against you." Me: “Hey, I don't think I've met you yet, I'm Charlie!" HR Manager: “You're fired." Me: “No, I'm Charlie..."
This channel has improved my life and mind a thousand times more than anything else.I found all the videos I have watched on this channel useful. Thank You
These are all great tips I've tried to apply lately to varying degree. However, I must say that working on being conscious and aware throughout the day, really has paid off good to these high-pressure situations. It's like I've gotten better at "slow-mo" down the time to think and be less reactive. This is the more longterm fix that also requires tons of work. I've been using meditation, journaling and just focusing on being more present and aware. Thanks for GREAT content as always Charlie, /Alex
I can’t overemphasis the value in making a habit of visualizing possible scenarios and mentaly practice routines. This might require you to put down the phone and study your surroundings though ;)
Oh people dont already do this? It's actually nice to visualize a universe with a conversation that I'm anticipating. Sometimes you can take replies you used in that scenario and place that in a real convo you're having, almost like reading a script from your memory. The more you do it the more accurate you can become and the more fluent your sentences will be.
This video just magically appears right after I worked in a shift where we were severly understaffed and a crowd of people exceeded our projections. Awesome!
Loved the video! Staying sharp under pressure has been a problem for me for a while now... when I create content, such as blog posts or my youtube videos, I can take my time with thinking and aligning my thoughts. But when put on the spot I tend to crash and burn. Definitely something I need to work more on in the future! 😉
Great video as always! This video focuses heavily on high pressure social situations, but the principle ideas can be extended to other pressure situations too. I've personally worked a lot on coping with stress myself and doing so allows me to achieve so much more in life.
I consider and apply that sometimes in my life, but I have other way. Mostly in my free time, when there's nothing to do, I just think of situations: "If this, then that" thing. I don't really need to think about it but because of boredom, sometimes philosophizing makes me interested more.
Thing is, even if I do say what I want, I still end up kicking myself thinking "why didn't I say this today?" even though it probably went pretty well.
I came here in order to learn how to think 10x faster under pressure but now I can think 12x faster than normal under pressure. How can I go back please?
In med school, I learned the perfect way to stall. When being asked questions, my answer was "it depends". Because in medicine nothing is absolute. They will then reply "It depends on what?". Sometimes that was enough time. Otherwise I'd just say "The patient. Are we talking someone young? old? Preexisting conditions? Terminal?..." and so on. I had it in my hard drive so hard I could say it and also think of a reasonable answer. It's not to be used often, or people will see right through it, but it does work, because technically you're answering their questions and even if you're wrong, you gain bonus points for pointing out the question is incomplete. Critical thinking is a thing Doctors value, also learning how to bullshit your way out of an answer. That ticks both boxes.
I have some friends that I can’t even get past the small talk phase. We’ve known each other for like 3 years now and our conversations still feels so shallow and unsatisfying to me. Where we ask each other stuff like how was work and what have you been up to lately. It’s getting to the point where I don’t know what to ask about anymore, and I’ve started to stop visiting as much because of this. Small talk feels like a waste of time and doesn’t get me anywhere.
If you have self belief then you won’t feel the same panic and may even enjoy some of these situations. You might not say the right thing but you will be more relaxed about it and even be able to laugh about your mistakes or imperfections. That’s charisma.
Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu bum da de PRESSURE! pushing down on me Pressing down on you no man ask for Under pressure that brings a building down Splits a family in two Puts people on streets
Hey Charlie, I was just wondering if you could cover some texting or online behaviour that is charismatic. Like a certain way of texting because texting is a pretty big part of dating and relationships these days. Just a suggestion, keep up the good work!
Without watching this video I can surely say that 'take deep breaths' will feature among one of the tips. That seems to be the favorite among RU-vid gurus as a solution for everything whether it's public speaking, exercising, anger management, decision making or even simply living a fulfilling life.
3:10 "Hey, I'm not sure we've met yet, my name is Charlie" "Hey Charlie" "oh, I'm actually called Markus, I just heard this was a great conversation opener on the internet"
Is it just me that I noticed this guy is talking about the topic straight throughout the video without any cuts or edit? I think in his other videos, too. If that is, well that's quite amazing.
As a child, my father told me to SMILEEE while he screamed at me?!? I never understood until years ago... Smiling when I got into trouble got me into more trouble :D Smiling before a fight? Smiling when I'm nervous? He made me charming. *mind blown*
Or you could get into a bunch of different extreme sports that seem really dangerous but in actuality aren't that bad and eventually you'll rarely get adrenaline rushes any more and when you do they'll be much sublimed. Then the only thing is that teammates might wonder why you don't panic when something goes really wrong; you just weigh the options and calmly choose one; it can really freak some people out and make them wonder if you really care.
I'm glad this channel has passed the million subscriber mark. Lot of value to be found. You're doing very well and I wish you the very best on your rise. Cheers!
