One thing I've learned from following Tom Hiddleston is to not be afraid of wearing your heart on your sleeve. Basically a fancier way to say be real and genuine even if it means you might look like a dork in some situations :D
Absolutely! My voice teacher used to tell me to "sing like no one's watching," and my acting teachers motto was "reckless abandon!" Letting go of fears and "shoulds" and "what if they laughs?" is not only immensely freeing and good for out mental health, it makes us more attractive to the kind of people who'll be true friends and positive influences in our lives.
@@kristinewalberg2938 I loved choir. I had these same ideals as well and it really made my choir group feel like a family. We weren’t singing for them, we were singing for us
"This ability to laugh where others get defensive is basically a charisma superpower" this is so true, because it shows you are not bothered by the embarassment, you embrace it instead
As a kid, I used to practice this behavior frequently. Back then, I realized that you can't stop people from embarrassing you so just deal with it graciously. Besides, sometimes they expect a specific, angry reaction, so if you give them that, then you are giving them power in a sense. I was seen as "aloof" but was much happier then. However, over the years, it became a bit fuzzy to discern someone poking "innocent" fun from being subtly disrespectful. Now, I just feel enormously bitter most of the time. This video reminds me to just put more effort into practicing this mindset again.
@@pcharm3711 But won't others recognize your fake laugh as fake, which might then make you seem less attractive and charming? Maybe it's better to cultivate a sense of humor and genuine interest in others?
@@kristinewalberg2938 depends. fake laughs can sound pretty genuine, even as thevinternet doesn't want you to think that. the truth is you've heard fake laughs that you thought were real, but will never know they weren't
1. Make a good first impression 2. Use a 1 second cliffhanger pause 3. Keep your voice confident using pace 4. Commitment 5. Find humor in your embarrassment
@@MrGW2fanboy Yeah... when the "to be impressed" person looks at you as if you were something disgusting which was stepped on, and dont really know how to wipe it from the shoe... No rules will help.
@@mwatson5702 Lol no 🤣 . The video is specifically about how to be charming when you're NOT at your oratorical best. A practiced and polished accent(like Tom's British RP, which is often learned rather than picked up), certainly helps. Why be in denial about it?
@@danivasquez1984 Received Pronunciation. The polished accent otherwise called Queen's English or Oxford English. Used by most English newsreaders, actors and debaters. Often cultivated in good schools, distinctly different from local British accents like Cockney, Liverpool, Northern etc.
I still remember to this day seeing the Hiddles-fever on Tumblr around 2012 and not understanding what all the fuzz was about, but then I started watching his interviews and completely fell in love lol
I agree. I always found him handsome, but just by looking at pictures, you cannot truly appreciate his beauty. I think that part of his attractiveness is also in his expressions (he's got a great bone structure and everything, but it's only when you see him in movement that you really see how attractive he is). Of course, his voice is also wonderful, so that's another thing you cannot see in pictures...
Yeah, I remember thinking he was good looking, but not attractive as people say, but after watching his interviews I understand why so many people love him. The way he talks, his expressions, his manners, everything makes him so attractive. It's rare to see people like him now days.
Yeah I’ve always admired Tom as an actor and thought he was handsome and a good person. But I only became a full on hiddlestoner as of recently after watching more of his interviews. Makes me wish I had seen them earlier so I could have fangirled over him for longer. God such a kind, charming, humble, intelligent man
@@fire3986 People always joke that he’s a man written by a woman and I now see it. He’s a real life Disney prince or a love interest from a Jane Austen novel
In Tom’s case, it’s even better to appear a little bit shy or nervous. A very rich famous handsome man has the risks of being deemed as cocky loud and overly confident in themselves, so this absolves him of those biases by dampening him down to look sweet and humble ‘like normal folks’. This might not easily work with lesser men though. Might look uninteresting or pathetic I think, and there’s no guarantee people will patiently wait for your awkward pauses like they will for Tom. For most men, confident humor and fun personality should work better because they will be the main thing shining in compensation to their looks/status. So assess yourself before choosing strategies.
What you're saying is completely true in most situations and applies more to the, general way of living. But the thing is, even if you do not earn so much as Tom Hiddleston you still can demand respect when you walk into a room. Your earnings do not define you (in some situations if you're confident enough) and even after being a low paid person, you can DEMAND the respect you deserve. It is more about your demeanour and the way you talk/behave. But again, if you have such a confident aura that even after being low on what the world counts as a measure of success, you can demand such respect, I highly doubt you'd be that nervous. So you're right there in what you're saying. But still, it's alright for people who don't earn enough to be nervous and still be charismatic.
And Tom is a genuinely compassionate and kind person. There was some awards show where he got interviewed on the red carpet and apparently it was rather chilly. The reporter interviewing him was wearing an evening gown but it was obvious she was freezing. So Tom offered his jacket and after the interview was over, he walked away letting her keep the jacket to stay warm.
Human nature is human nature, regardless of being a celebrity the people he’s talking to are also celebrities. I doubt they’re giving him special deference as a rich famous handsome guy. That describes half of Hollywood.
One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no RU-vidr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear d
@@user-uw6wc3uh9c I think he's saying "he's all that'' even tho he's playing it off as if it's a bad/weird thing to have a bunch of subs, when in actuality he's promoting his channel here
The avoiding ummm thing is a standard thing you learn in theater and drama studies, so it's not a surprise a graduate of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art will not be suffering from this lil behavior tick
Got a date tomorrow this could not be more clutch 😂😂 Edit: THANKS SO MUCH for the amazing messages guys!! It was INCREDIBLE!! We spent the whole day together and made a really strong connection, I’m seeing her again this week!! (The LAST tip is the most important imo..) 😁
WTF oh good god I thought it was joke when i first heard about it.......this has gone absolutely beyond stupidity...what's the deal at the end of the day...
Many years ago, back when I used to do AMVs, I had my first channel struck with copyright claims. I think this was because my AMVs started going viral. But I didn’t want to lose my channel, so I stopped posting them there. Then one day I uploaded a very cute video of my, at that time, five year old niece doing a “magic trick” at a restaurant. They had these HUGE cloth napkins so she held one up in front of her legs, raised the napkin up to reveal one of her legs were missing. Then she repeated with the other leg. I, as a professional clown, was very proud of her goofiness! I uploaded the video but BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC PLAYING IN THE RESTAURANT… my channel got shut down.
I always have a really big, goofy smile whenever I see Tom and not just because he’s cute. His charm is just infectious where you can’t help but feel happy and relaxed watching him. Even his nervousness is endearing.
@@Scottlp2 Craig Ferguson is great as well, what I'm looking to get from Caffrey is not only his Charisma but his confidence in such tense situations. He is after all a Con (Confidence) Man. So there's space to learn something there
Sooo.... basically do the exact opposite of everything that comes naturally when you are nervous but at the same time don't forget to be yourself and act naturally. Got it. Thanks!
He looks like a real sweetheart. That is so cool to see how person is in real life and as a character. When he in character this shyness just disappears.
*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."* The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤
For me, the nervous fidgeting makes me like a person more. It shows me they are down to Earth and care about your perception of them. It’s endearing and lets me know they aren’t cocky.
Y'all thinking Tom is nervous but that's just a part of his charm. He's not always nervous when he's fidgety or blushing. Some people have those qualities as standards personality querks.
I couldn’t agree more, unlike my family. We have a habit of watching movies and shows together, even Anime, and it just so happens that the other day we were watching the Loki series when my father turned to me and said “Wait, how old is Loki’s actor?” I just said “He’s 40.” He made this shocked face and said under his breath “he looks really old.” To say I was appalled is an understatement. Tom does NOT look older than 40 😂
I'm glad that you said "You don't have to wear suits if that's not your style / you don't have to blend in with the crowd". As someone who dresses in alternative fashions, that was REALLY relieving to hear. As long as I think I look good! Thank you.
I think a lot of times in these clips here, Tom wasn't actually nervous but giving the impression of nervousness, playing it up for dramatic effect. Actors are good at that.
It also helps to be a celebrity whose naturally incredibly handsome good looking, charming and very humble Tom doesn't mind putting the spotlight on those around him It's about sharing the envireoment / scene regardless of your status Also he is sexy af and not over the top about anything just living in the moment with his attention at the right place
The hardest thing for me is keeping eye contact, especially when talking to multiple people, I just don’t know who to look at, I don’t want to just stare at one person.
That’s really interesting! I’ve never heard of a channel that helps you be more socially confident and charismatic. You’re definitely helping people a lot, big time!
perfect example to use for this. Tom teaches us about many things without him being aware of it. the manner of speaking and confidence is but one of them. thank you for this video! 👍👍
I've been considered 'cool and charismatic' by many friends and I never understood why they thought so when I am so dorky and socially inept most times. When I saw the things in this video, I realised some unconcious behaviours I developed through the years to 'not get mocked'. Its quite impressive how spot on it is. Cheers 🌼
Taking a pause in the middle of a sentence could invite people who are impatient, have disdain, or another reason, to finish your sentence. How do you handle this?
I when I pause and the other person cuts in (usually in a heated argument, so not in a day by day situation) I just keep talking as if I wasn't interrupted, it makes the other person stop because they were expecting me to stop talking. I usually use them for emphasis not just to react to uncomfortable situations. Know that what you're saying is important.
This isn't about changing who you are when you interact. Its helping your brain calm down, relax and be immersed with the situation instead of your panic factor overriding and causing you to fudge the situation up! I love these tips and I've admired tom for being so humble and real. You can tell he doesn't try and mask himself, but just adjusts to the situation well hes been put in. A true improv master Haha
He’s respectful, classy, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, humble, generous, talented, fun, gentlemanly charismatic, well dressed and groomed & has a nice voice and body. Not a bad face either with nice bone structure and dreamy eyes.
He’s now another actor I’m trying to follow like this. Johnny Depp I’ve followed like this since 2003. I’m disabled so things like this I really try to take to heart. And I hate talking in front of people. Speech class in college (online) was kind of hard for me to look in a camera and just talk.
I must be the worst introvert ever sometimes when I get a chance to comment or talk around the group of people I get so nervous and even start to shake I hate myself for it I can't seem to have control over it let alone stuttering when I'm on spotlight
I fell you bro. I'm coming from the same place. Let me tell you something, one day, gradually, it will come to you, that it is so OK, to stutter, to be nervous, maybe even shake a bit.. It'll still be there.. sure it gets better with time, but it'll be there, and it won't bother you as much as it used to.. heck.. it'll even begin to feel enjoyable in some moments, like a signature of yours, something that you'll be proud of in a way. In your way, your unique way. And that is beautiful. And you'll start to realize that people don't mind it, and probably you'll even start to feel that people even actually enjoy your quirky way of expressing, or lets say just - your way of expressing, because it is completely normal and it' so unique to you. I know that one day you will realize it too. Wish you all the best bro.
I stutter as a default 😂 imagine how bad it gets when I’m nervous. What helped me is 3 things: preparation, passion, and practice 1) prep: the more I know about what I need to talk about, the more confident I am 2) passion: I only talk about things I’m passionate about when I’m in social situations. That way I forget about my nerves completely, because I adore what I’m talking about 3) practice: I’m so much better than how I was when I was 20. The more I had to present to clients, go to networking events, the easier it became. Sure, I have some really embarrassing moments. But, no one remembers them.
Never see being an introvert as a negative. In a world of millions of people talking loud and saying nothing, you have an advantage. I have ADHD and really struggled in Elementary and High School 30 years ago when ADHD wasn't even a diagnosis. I used to view my -dis- ability as a negative, now I see it as a positive. I can dream up some creative and almost genius designs that the common person cannot. ADHD is my strength! So what I am saying is....don't try to _become_ an extrovert..instead embrace your unique self and be the best you that you can be! good luck!
Same here, I don't like being on spotlight it makes me nervous when people talk to me I give short answers. It is so annoying specially because I live in France I understand when people talk to me, but I can't talk in french people try to help me by starting a conversation but I get nervous and I create an awkward situation.
I think there's a good argument that committing and not cutting yourself short doesn't actually make you look less nervous, it makes you look braver in spite of your nerves. People can gauge your nervousness from the fidgeting etc, but when you commit anyway it shows them they don't have to feel shame for your giving in to it. When you cut yourself off or give up, it makes other people self conscious on your behalf because you let your nerves get the better of you.
Am leichtesten im Leben haben es die Menschen, die Humor haben und über sich selbst lachen können. Dann kann einem nicht viel passieren. Er hat Humor, ist super schnell im Kopf, also schlagfertig und trotz Nervosität ist er selbstbewusst und weiß, was er kann. Und nicht zu vergessen, er ist ein großartiger Schauspieler!!!
I didn’t realize how much I paused mid sentence until I had to make a recording of myself speaking. I’ve always been self conscious about it but I guess I should embrace it!
I think true self-confidence is not about following any so-called "tricks" but it's about being totally ok with yourself. Its about wholeheartedly accepting yourself, loving yourself, and being happy and at ease with what or who you are, without bothering too much about what others might think about you. Without any comparison or judgment with anyone or anything else. In fact, trying to follow such tips and ricks can actually make you more self-conscious and anxious instead of being more natural, relaxed and going with the flow.
These are excellent points, and they work for ordinary people as well as celebrities. People tend to make excuses or fall into a pattern of victimhood for the things that have gone wrong in their lives--to say "if only I was taller, richer, thinner, prettier"--but I'd encourage them not to limit themselves. As a young person, I was painfully shy. My family wasn't well-to-do, or always functional, I'm geeky, have crazy hair, and my peasanty origins are pretty obvious in my body type (seriously, that body type could basically be described as "troll doll")--and yet I've always had both friends and genuinely lovely and loving romantic partners. Even my daughter's friends seem to genuinely like me, Boomer though I am. Genuinely listening to people when they talk (instead of spending the whole time, instead, planning what you're going to say), taking every opportunity to be genuinely kind, showing interest in other people's interests and being passionate about your own, being curious, non-judgmental and well-informed (not to be "the best" or put others down, just to be a more interesting, better-rounded person), making eye contact, having a ready smile and laugh, good grooming, an open posture, a firm-but-not-crushing handshake, a sense of humor and a pleasant speaking voice really are all key. Those are all things any one of us can cultivate by putting in the effort. That being said, Tom Hiddleston really is a treasure, and a perfect example of the points you're making about charisma.
As a person who's had a stammer since forever, using brief pauses within sentences or phrases gives the time to make your ideas whole. It also grants you the appearance that you're thinking about what you're saying. You also tend to avoid mistakes like saying something wholly inappropriate - but not always. Doing so also invites whom you're speaking with to do the same. In the end, you tend to have deeper and more fulfilling conversations, which builds better relationships.
Mark Walsh calls it the 'British Airways' voice - deep, resonant, calm, slow. The voice you would use to tell people that everything is fine and you're in control, if you have the calm authority of the pilot you'll seem cool even when nervous.
He is an Intelligent wise man, that is automatically charming He is an Aquarius He is an Introvert and talks less, But his Posh British accent, makes everything POSH
The Problem with this though is that you try to win others for you. It is loving other people and being natural. Then you are just the way you are and people will like that however you are.
