i know how hard it is to believe, but everything will get better. there will always be someone who cares about you. heck, i care about you. i don't know you but i know you are a wonderful person. please try to hang in there.
i’m going to finally end it all this winter. the only person that had relevance in my damn life was my girlfriend, she was gunned down along with two other people. i’m sorry but i just can’t live anymore like this.
Seeing people vent and having others actually support is the most sweetest thing I’ve ever seen on RU-vid. Everyone is amazing and I hope all of you have a goodnights rest. You are a amazing human and you are loved I promise you that.
i used to listen to this song at my all time low a little over a year ago. this song used to give me anxiety just because so much shit used to go down when i would listen to it, but now i feel comfort in it. The song is actually quite beautiful without the dreadful lyrics talking over it. I’ve been told many times before at my lowest to “keep my head up” and to “fight harder to get better”, or to “never give up”. It was never easy, because nobody has the ability to press a magic button to fix it all, because if anyone did, nobody would be this depressed this day in age. Suicide rates would go down. I’ve been told to “not let it get to me” as if i could help it, or i’ve been told to “talk to someone” about everything going on, but those outside of that low point could never understand. However, I do. I’ve had ups and downs for years on end. I started self-harm when i was around 8-9 years old, using scissors and wondering why nobody seemed to care. I’ve been clean for a little over 4 months now, not the longest, but im proud of it. Be proud of every single day you make without hurting yourself, every second and cherish every minute you get to have without thinking s blade is your only friend, because it isn’t. It is impossible not to be loved by someone else. I’m not going to be one of those people who assume that they know what happens behind the screen, behind this mystery of a person I don’t even know the name of, because there is no way for me to know. But truly, if there is ever a time where you feel nobody else in your life has the time to listen and understand, come to this comment. I can’t promise to know all of the solutions, i cant promise to change everything, but i can promise to see you. To see and ACKNOWLEDGE you. I know it’s not easy, i know it doesn’t seem fair, but the least you can do for yourself is hang on. Not hang yourself. The second you step off that chair, the second you step off that ledge, dig that dagger into your wrist, pop those pills, lay and wait in that water, pull that trigger, intake all that salt, any last decision at all, every single chance you had to be happy again fades. If you’re questioning your existence, only staying for someone else, or even planning it all out and writing your last words… please rethink it. Please try to understand your purpose. If people have used you and abused you since you’re such an amazing, lovely, kind hearted person… then please acknowledge how much you mean to the world. People use the good in others. If you feel like the opposite of a good person, there’s room for change. Every single human being on this earth has made a hurtful mistake and has either acknowledged it or hasn’t… and the fact you have, says a lot. You have someone out there waiting for you. Whether it’s in the present, or in the future. Someone out there is waiting. If you believe in a religion associated with a god of some sort, look to them. If you don’t, remind your spirit that it shines bright and deserves what it hasn’t gotten, or lacks. If you’ve lost someone to depression, or to anything in general… don’t let them down. win the battle they lost and make them proud. Give them the opportunity to smile down at you and how far you’ve come, same with those around you. Or even just YOURSELF. Yourself, you, you are the most important thing in your life because You are what controls it. Don’t let those people push you around. Don’t kill yourself staying with someone who cannot help you. Don’t stay with someone because you’re afraid of being alone. One step at a time, find a way. A step as small as going to school, or a step as small as appreciating something in your life. Im not an expert, im not a professional, but i know what it feels like to be lost. I know what it feels like to want someone to care and be disappointed time after time with those in your life. Heartbroken, depressed, stressed, anxious…I know what that feels like and it pains me to know that this comment section is FILLED with people who are at their lowest currently. Lay in a bed of comfort , not a pool of your own blood. If bed rotting is all you can do, so be it. but don’t do something you’ll regret. write notes to yourself to look back on and look forward to seeing again in a year. Find a way to yank your current self by the shoulders and tell them god has a plan. Or that you are going somewhere if you dont believe in a god. I promise you, your future is SO bright ahead of time. If you attempt now, if you try to leave now.. you might not even succeed. you might just hurt yourself even more. Please. save yourself the trouble. Come back to this song and instead of bawling your eyes out like i used to, or just stare and wonder where it all went wrong like i used to… look back at this song, give it a long listen and find the beauty within it. It helped me so greatly. Find the songs you used to find sadness in, in different ways. Im not telling you that you cant be emotional every once in a while, or that emotions are invalid and you need to change right away, because thats a bunch of bs. if someone tells you that, kick their assSSSSSSS. Not even playin either. You are seen, you are heard if need be. Call me, text me. 587-985-3417. Tell me you need to talk and i will be there. Don’t hold a knife over your throat because you think it’s over, because you think it doesn’t get better.. because it does. the sun always shines in the morning after a rough night, the stars always shine in the end, the nightmare always ends when you wake up and the flame of fiery and pain dies. The fire in your heart and eyes doesn’t, until you mask it and put it down yourself. Every human being makes a difference, whether it’s significant or small. without you, without your existence and what you have done and could do for people, the world will grow less bright. yes, it will go on, life goes on, but that’s why you need to hang on. If you hate the world, give it hell and give it all you got. Beat this world and what it has done to you, become bigger than the pain inflicted upon you. become something more if you feel like nothing. it isn’t easy, never will be, never has been, but it’s an accomplishment to go for. Do what you enjoy, find something to enjoy and most importantly, appreciate the time you’ve been given, even if it’s been rough, a bumpy ass ride… You deserve to enjoy something and you deserve to wake up every day to live through another. If you have no friends, no family to rely on, come to me. Be stronger than your sadness. Your struggles do not define you. Live with purpose, die with even more. Suicide is NOT the answer. Take care my lovelies.
If only anyone knew the struggles I was facing. I am the definition of truly no longer having nothing. I watched 3 of my best friends kill themselves right in front of me. I held my mothers hand as she faded from this earth. I watched as the love of my life cheated on me a week later bc she didn’t wanna deal with me being so “susceptible”. My brother was shot he’s dead now too my sisters don’t want anything to do with me any type or little bit of family I have left doesn’t care for me bc the family basically wrote me off after my mother died. I’m 16 years old with no where to go. No home no money just legs n a phone that is getting paid for by my dead mothers money… I just wanna go say hi to my mom. I wanna talk to my mom again. I wanna hear her tell me everything’s gonna be alright. I just wanna know why me… if love is real if anything at all any bit of feeling is real why is it that ever bad one is dealt to me. What’s the point of me going through all this pain all this struggle just for it to not be worth anything in the end. What’s the fucking point. N it’s not like I could just go out and get a job bc no ofc I have to be the one to fuck up my life before my mom died and she was helping me fix it. Now nobody even cares so why should I. I’m homeless can’t get back into school can’t get a job haven’t ate in 4 days anytime I do eat I steal it from a gas station. Like what’s the point of living a life when all you do is pollute the air with your oxygen.
@@Splixx420the world is cruel. you know that much. but your mother wouldn’t want you to give up. I know everybody says that when you’ve lost someone and you’re feeling lost, but it’s true. she gave birth to you so you could live and find a way out of this. You are not alone, she is always there. I swear to you, there is a way out of this, you will find that way. give yourself and the world another try. you deserve that try and those you lost want you to take it. You’re going through a lot for a 16 year old, im 15 and cant imagine losing what you have… but you still have so much to gain. Loss is tough, it’s an unforgettable pain and experience and sometimes the healing process is very, very slow. but it’s a process and you’ve already started. don’t give up what your mother wanted you to have, you deserve far more than to let yourself go, even if it seems like the better option. It isn’t easy (no shit) and being homeless makes it harder, but you have so much potential. potential that shouldn’t be wasted.
Determination, to live this life no matter how painful Determination, to see things to the end no matter how ugly Determination, I don’t really wanna do this anymore
life can be rough but you gotta hang on. you gotta realize that your family loves you and cares about you no matter what. and I know that depression can break you down until you think the only answer is suicide. But it isn’t, suicide is permanent, your problems are temporary. even if you want to commit, you have to be strong. you need to realize that the people around you who love and care about you will miss you if your gone. life gets better, believe me. Suicide isn’t the answer please reach out to a family member or a friend and tell them about what your going through. They would much rather hear you talk about your problems and get you help, than them blame themselves because they didn’t notice that you were going through all of this. please stay safe even if your struggling to.
Whoever sees this... Things may be rough at the moment but they'll get better with time. You can get through this! You've already made it so far and I'm proud of you. You have people who love you, who are willing to listen. It may not seem like it to you but I promise you that. There will always be someone there for you even if it takes you to find that right person. And the people who aren't willing to put in the effort, showing their true darker colors aren't worth your precious time. If you're stuck in a bad situation, I know one day you'll escape it. I believe in you and I know other's do too. I wish nothing for the best for you. Good will come one day, it just takes time. You're special, one of a kind! We all make mistakes and people shouldn't hold those over your head. You're not a disgrace, a burden, a failure. None of that. You're doing what you can at your own pace, the best you can. Hang in there for the people who love you, okay? It's not time for you to go yet. I love you and I'm super proud of you for getting this far.
I don’t know why, but I have always struggled with change. I remember being 5 and crying till I couldn’t breathe because I was so scared of all the change that was happening at that time. I’ve never told anyone about it. It makes me feel selfish. I should be so lucky to have a life full of friends and family, surrounded by love. But secretly, there has always been this hole in my heart. I feel like, as the years go on, that hole just gets bigger and bigger.
i can’t help but to get lost again, i can’t find my way out of it. once i think it’s gone it js comes back worse. i hate summer depression, i can change it but i’ve lost my motivation to even clean my room, the smallest steps are the hardest rn. but once the day is over and i lay down in bed i js count all the restless nights there’s been and why i didn’t clean my room or other stuff knowing i can do it, n i js tell myself every night, “tmrw i’ll do it” i promise myself i will but my promises always become lies. and i see everyone enjoying their lives in summer n hanging out w people while i’m pushing away those people, i don’t mean to push them away it js happens. and ik by time schools starts im gonna wish i didn’t push away those people. not one day, afternoon, evening, and night has gone by w out feeling that stinging sharp pain in my heart. i’d hope that feeling would away, but i’ve lost my hope. i’m lost w a big hole in my heart.
It's strange, really. I don't want to be here, be around people, around all of this, but I also don't want to die. Maybe I could disappear instead, and see who'd come looking for me with their flashlights and see who'd be sad for a day or two and then go back to their normal lives like I never existed. I want to see proof they care.
i cant grasp the fact that she loved me once. I couldnt have possibly guessed it, but a person as absolutely perfect as her loved me. I wasn't able to love her back in time. She's moved on. But i cant. It hurts to know that your no one's favorite person. There is always someone better at having connections with the people who matter most to me than i have. I've accepted the fact that my mother's expectations are unreasonable bc of how much of a crappy person i am. People can be nothing. I will never be more than nothing. I am a dry husk of disappointment. I can never have enough love in my heart, i can never be funny or kind enough, i can never be good enough. I am never enough. i dont deserve any of this. i dont deserve a loving family, i dont deserve loyal pets, i dont deserve for her to love me the way she did. I am a lonely girl. Less than that. I am a shit human being who is incapable of treating anyone who loves me they way they deserve to be treated. I couldnt even afford gifts for my mom this christmas year. Why do these people love me? I cant understand how they can possibly stand being around someone who just hurts them I dont mean to hurt them, but i cant keep myself from doing it accidentally anyway People are too kind to shit people and too mean to nice people
@kiwibird5104 You’re more than just an empty husk. Your very own existence isn’t merely just a coincidence. You were created with a purpose; with a hope and a future. You might’ve messed up in the past, or hurt those that loved you, and those that you came to love and cherish when it was too late. Not everything in your life is meant to stay or last forever. However, that isn’t an invitation to be sorrowful, but an invitation to cherish everything you have. Every moment. Everyone around you. Every bad moment. Every good moment. It’s all a part of being alive. It’s okay to be sad, but don’t allow yourself to be stuck like that forever. My life hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows either bro, but the more I came to suffer, the more I realized that it was a part of life. I too hit rock bottom. In my loneliness, darkness, and agony, there was a light. God saved me. I don’t mean this in a religion-type-of-way, but He personally saved me. I didn’t meet Him in a church, I didn’t meet Him in the Holiest of places or circumstances, I met Him in that pit. That dark pit of despair. The one I thought I was going to be stuck on for the rest of my life. The one that had me rethinking my own life and existence. I too messed up, I too hurt the people that loved me. But, my God saw me struggling, and I reached out to Him, and He rescued me. I’m still going through that process, but I wanted you to know that there is a hope, and your situation will pass. Forgive me for offending you by bringing up my personal testimony, and if I offended you for providing you with someone (God) that helped me get back up. I hope you see this, and I hope you’re doing better now.
i just wanna feel truly loved, i wanna be enough for my family, i wanna be seen as something more than jus a kid who grew up in new york i wanna be seen as a son, a boyfriend, a friend, not just me. im not enough, not yet.
Hey I don’t know u,but u got this.I understand how you feel,I’ve been crying for a whole week straight lol,but I promise you are enough.God made you the way you are,it’s people who don’t see that how great you can actually be,I’m sending peace and love to you ❤
At our lowest point, God is still there. He is the one who sees you and knows what your going through. Can you see Him physcially there, no yet He is there in Spirit with you, holding you, cherishing you....waiting for you to call upon the name of Jesus Christ . Able for you to speak to Him at any moment. Imagine that a Father, friend, lover, best friend... waiting for you just to ask for help in those lowest moments. He was with nathaniel when he was under the fig tree and everything he had done came to ruin, yet God saw him at his lowest moment of great despair. Jesus Christ is waiting don't hesitate:) I love you all dearly. If you guys need help or anything reply.... ill be around ❤
im not gonna be here longer and i’ve realized my life never had or has any meaning to it im tired of living like this i wake up everyday to the same cycle i keep to myself but in my head theres a literal war going on
If only anyone knew the struggles I was facing. I am the definition of truly no longer having nothing. I watched 3 of my best friends kill themselves right in front of me. I held my mothers hand as she faded from this earth. I watched as the love of my life cheated on me a week later bc she didn’t wanna deal with me being so “susceptible”. My brother was shot he’s dead now too my sisters don’t want anything to do with me any type or little bit of family I have left doesn’t care for me bc the family basically wrote me off after my mother died. I’m 16 years old with no where to go. No home no money just legs n a phone that is getting paid for by my dead mothers money… I just wanna go say hi to my mom. I wanna talk to my mom again. I wanna hear her tell me everything’s gonna be alright. I just wanna know why me… if love is real if anything at all any bit of feeling is real why is it that ever bad one is dealt to me. What’s the point of me going through all this pain all this struggle just for it to not be worth anything in the end. What’s the fucking point. N it’s not like I could just go out and get a job bc no ofc I have to be the one to fuck up my life before my mom died and she was helping me fix it. Now nobody even cares so why should I. I’m homeless can’t get back into school can’t get a job haven’t ate in 4 days anytime I do eat I steal it from a gas station. Like what’s the point of living a life when all you do is pollute the air with your oxygen.
i am devoid of attention and in my mind is a lingering of a person that made me define my self worth. over the years i haven’t been feeling confident. neither looks or personality. i don’t think i miss her, i think i miss what could’ve been and how she made me feel. i miss feeling happy and content. i miss being confident. i haven’t experienced anything like that before and it was comforting to me telling me i was of worth. i fantasized and idealized this dynamic between us not staying true to myself and trying to feed into ideas of what or who i should be for myself and for her. this didn’t play out like i wanted to and she stepped out of my life. she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore and never communicated why. i never dared to reach out cause i didn’t feel worthy enough to ask for an explanation cause maybe it was all in my head. months went by and i had been crying every single night wondering what part of me made her turn away. i get that i wasn’t the perfect person but i did my best to meet your standards. i think you liked the idea of me and when you got to know me it wasn’t what you expected. i’m sorry for this
im at my lowest rn and my bf cheated on me, all bc i was too depressed he couldnt handle it, now idek if im gonna stay for much longer, ive lost everything in life, my friends, the love of my life, my support system is gone i have nobody, nov 3rd will be my day im gone, but for everyone who got through the hard days, im so proud of u, u guys are so strong.
Hey I don’t know you. Nor I know who you are. But trust me everything will work out at the end. Keep your head high. Just don’t die. It’s all going to work out. Trust me
i lost my mom to cancer a few months ago, and its impossible to just accept the harsh reality, i feel so jealous and spiteful when i see other people having fun with their mom, id do almost okay during the day and then 1 am hits and im sent back to where i was; sobbing, numb, and empty. its gotten to a point where it becomes a struggle to get my sleep schedule in check or other basic needs or tasks, ive started lashing out at my friends, and im afraid im going to lose them to, i still cant believe im going to have to go through high school without my mom here, im going to achieve so many great things that my mom will never be able to witness. i want to reach out and ask for help but i always feel so embarrassed about it, the fact that i cant keep my mental state somewhat tolerable is ridiculous. i cant even appreciate the good memories i had with my mom because ill get reminded even more that shes gone and never coming back, and ill be even worse than where i previously left off. so my message to the reader, if you spent your time to read this, i just want to thank you, i want to thank you for listening to my hardships and struggles, thank you
this is the only iteration of this song that sounds this good tbh. I listened to all other slowed instrumental and for some reason, they sound quieter. Like this actually reaches my soul as it plays. I wish it was shorter so I can put it in my playlist of good slowed songs but I just don’t want to settle for anything less
nough to make me feel some sense of self worth. i don’t think i miss her, i think i miss what could’ve been and how she made me feel. i miss feeling happy and content. i miss being confident. i haven’t experienced anything like that before and it was comforting to me telling me i was of worth. i fantasized and idealized this dynamic between us not staying true to myself and trying to feed into ideas of what or who i should be for myself and for her. this didn’t play out like i wanted to and she stepped out of my life. she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore and never communicated why. i never dared to reach out cause i didn’t feel worthy enough to ask for an explanation cause maybe it was all in my head. months went by and i had been crying every single night wondering what part of me made her turn away. i get that i wasn’t the perfect person but i did my best to meet your standards. i think you liked the idea of me and when you got to know me it wasn’t what you expected. i’m sorry for this
No bs this yr is over wit fa me I lost the loml I lost my job have a temp job lost my car lost myself trying to build myself back up but still struggle a lot mentally n emotionally I haven’t been the best of who I need to be but I contemplate suicide a lot I’m tired of being here physically I’m already spiritual I’m ready I already feel everyone around me n myself I’m tired if I can already feel everyone then why can’t I just go live in the spiritual realm I’d rather be invisible than to be alive consider that doesn’t make a difference either
that's awful dude. it's so hard when life knocks you down like this. but if you can find the strength to keep living, life can be beautiful. i promise you, no matter how hard it is to believe, everything will get better. hang in there bro.
ppl online support me so much more than others irl, ppl who are suicidal are known as annoying and irritating but when you do commit people wish you hadnt done it. and they wish they saw the signs. thankfully i am no longer suicidal and am doing better, you can all do this!!! - random 13 year old british girl on youtube
Before 12 grade I was always lonely never had friends and I suffer depression because of it during the beginning of 12th grade I made some friends and my birthday was close to I invited some of them but only a few came it was me and 5 others and we all had fun and they sing happy birthday to me that day I felt diff and something told me from here and out something gonna be different a mouth later we all in the class grew a big connection with each other and we were all like a amazing friend group at school and every now than we will plan events to go hang out after school and we all will have a blast and we be at class working together and talking and than time to time we will plan events again. 1 month before graduation we had one more event at my house also I forgot to mention that within those times I have gotten close with 2 people 1 name is Isaac we became brothers and the other one is Sabrina she was like my sister always correcting me when I do wrong and I love both of them like family and the rest of the friend group now going back to the last event I said before we had one more event called the graduation event and I will make a video on CapCut showing all of the memories we made together I show them and they all love it we all had fun and now it is graduation we all graduated together and celebrated by going to a restaurant it was a good night I text my friend Sabrina hey thank you for everything I love you and see you again soon I said see you again soon cuz I wasn’t sure how things was gonna work out now since we all graduated but she respond (no your gonna be with me forever your my bff) and I said we family fr💯 also that night I was staying over at my bros house cuz we were going for to Hollywood studios to celebrate together and have fun and we did couple weeks later I been feeling weird and depressed but I don’t know why I was feeling like that and it was seriously been going in my head for awhile but I ignore it couple days later I went to my bro house and we were chilling and talking and he said he been feeling down but not sure and he ask me if I been feeling depressed or anything I said no why would I we graduated together and we have the friend group with us and if we ever wanna all hang out and stuff and he was like alright. a mouth later things were happening the friend group were all arguing with each other and I tried to fix it but it didn’t work and I lost some of them and than things were happening between me and Sabrina and I was mad and sad and another friend told me some things that Sabrina said and I believe her and I blocked Sabrina out of anger and heavy depression but before that I went to her house to drop and note explain why I did it and I left a lot of photos of me and her and the friend group and than I left, I left crying and trying to stay strong time couple mouths later I felt better and horrible for what I did and I said to myself why did I do that when I could have met with her and talk it out with her so I contacted her couple days after new years and I explain why and what been going on and she told me that the person that told me that about her was all a lie and unfortunately she doesn’t have the ability to bring back our amazing friendship we had but she said she will always be there for me if I ever need someone to talk to after our talk if came to the point I can’t get back our amazing friendship again after what I did I starting crying in so much pain and starting thinking what has happen to the group I lost literally all of them and one close friend to me and I was in so much pain suffering soo much trauma of being lonely when all I ever wanted was to have friends by my side. There is a better way to handle problems but I did it the wrong way and i ended up losing the group and Sabrina and mouth later I’m a lifeguard just monitoring the people in the pool as I’m doing that I’m thinking about them and I said to myself in my mind what has happened made me mature and do better and it was a life lesson to watch out who you call your friend and watch with what you do cuz you have 2 choices and 1 is good and 1 is bad i choose bad out of anger and depression and since than I will never ever make the same mistake again but I feel happy that at least once in my life I gotten to see what it feels like having friends before I lost them it feels good and it hurts knowing you don’t have them anymore but there is 1 thing tho I only had 1 friend by my side and always by my side and that is Isaac Joel my other close friend who is my forever brother we have argued about no matter what we will sort it out and continue to be brother no matter what he has help me through my darkest times and save me from depression and suicidal thoughts and never left me alone he has made me mature and become a better person without help I would be dead or living the cycle of depression loneliness trauma for the rest of my life regretting everyday. I know is just 1 friend but he been there since the beginning and he feels like enough for me just how good and close he is with me, remember fam to always be good with each other and not toxicity love each and respect each and have fun if anything happens fix it don’t make it worse like I done i promise you do not what to go my route, God bless yall
I don't think I'll ever be loved deeply. I don't think I'm the kind of person that makes people want to bond their soul with, because it has been the case since I'm a kid, girls in primary school used to prank me by making me believe they were in love with me. I swear that i wont complain about that cause it's ridiculous to do so while people are dying and stuff. So i made a promise to me and the entire world to love deeply everyone and everything around me, so nobody has to feel like me, because i will love them. But yk sometimes the gut wrenching realization of feeling that you will be apart from the greatest dance in the history of the universe kicks in, and i listen to this song
Love is beautiful and cruel, i was in the same state as you before until i knew real love. My parents divorced when i was young and i'm the middle child of my family since i have 2 brothers. It's been only recently that i've been conscious of the fact that i didn't receive all the affection i needed because my mom couldn't give it to me, it was too much for her. She gave me everything she could and it wasn't enough but it will never be her fault. So for all my youth i tried to search love in everyone i could. It made me suffer so much, to the point that i can't fall in love anymore, like a huge wall blocking everything. I used to be a soft boy but i don't feel it anymore even if my close friends tell me i'm still the same and it scares me because i don't wanna change. Love made me smile like i've never smiled in my whole life and it make me cried and hurt until i ran out of tears, until i lost feelings for the last person i loved. Still, i hope you will find love one day and you know what ? You will. I was the same as you before. I had my first kiss at 20yo but before that noone thought about touching my lips. We're all meant to be loved with our qualities and flaws. And I know even without knowing you that you're a kind-hearted person. Until your special person comes into your life, take care of yourself as much as possible. We build a garden so that the butterfly can sit to it, we don't chase it. The whole world is love, we're meant to love and be loved. Love you buddy, take care of you and don't lose hope
Oh how I used to wish for the feeling of death but once it almost happened I didn’t want it. I knew I everything bad would be over but also everything good everything that made my life complete gone forever. I couldn’t let that happen so once I got out of that hospital I started fresh and now look where I am I animate,have tons of friends a girlfriend and my life is just better
You took everything from me. My virginity My curiosity My want to bring a child into this world, what if it happens to them? My trust for others My parents trust in me My friends My sanity, sometimes I stare at the night sky and put myself back to figure out why me? My vice presidency My place in leadership My spot on the cheer team My role in the school community My ability to sleep at night My days where my anxiety doesn't feel like I am being shot in the chest My confidence to go out in public, I was in sweatpants and a t-shirt. You gained everything from me. Your masculinity Your curiosity in sexual intercourse Your want to “please Ella”, did you do or want to do these things to her? Your trust in the people who want your validation Your parents trust due to lack of knowledge of the situation Your friends Your disguise, do you ever reflect on what really happened and why you did it? Your seat at lunch Your kleptomania Your spot on the football team Your upbringing of lies in the school community Your ability to sleep with multiple girls Your days where you feel accomplished in life because you got away with rape Your confidence to touch unconscious girls, even if they are in sweatpants or a t-shirt.
I can't do this anymore. Why would my uncle do that to me 3 times. Building uo my trust doing it again. Even got me drunk to try his stuff. I cant do this. Ive scrubbed at myself till my skin went red and still felt his touch on me. Its getting hsrder snd hsrder thinking about it.
i don't know what you're going through, but i promise everything will get better. life can feel impossible sometimes but if you can persevere it will get better. please bro, hang in there.
I just want my family back. I want the family I grew up with the ones that loved each other who truly cherished and cared for one another. My family now hate each other. They don’t even act as if they are family they act like they are mere classmates in a highschool science class having beef. I hate it. I just want them to be a family again
