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How to Overcome Fear & Shyness with Josh Pais 

Marie Forleo
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C'mon over to www.marieforleo.com/blog/over... where the main discussion happens after the episode!
Overcome fear and shyness - but how? When it comes to something as scary as public speaking, it might seem impossible to overcome fear, but it is possible.
In this video, you'll learn Josh Pais' tips to help MarieTV viewer Miriam not only overcome fear and shyness about public speaking, but also look at those feelings differently.
1. You're a vibrator. There are no good or bad sensations in the body. All the emotions we have are vibrating atoms. Instead of trying to overcome fear or shyness, recognize it as simply a sensation in your body.
2. Nickname your vibes. We try to overcome fear or shyness because we feel them in our body and label them as good or bad, and as something to overcome. Instead, give those feelings a different name that you don't associate with being good or bad.
3. Ride it, don't hide it. When we try to overcome fear or shyness, we take the wrong approach. Instead of trying to banish the feeling, learn to party with the sensation and speak from that feeling rather than suppress it. Any sensation you truly let yourself feel will shift in 7-12 seconds, even fear or shyness.
Now it's your turn. Share with us in the comments over at marieforleo.com an emotion or sensation you'd like to overcome. Describe that emotion in terms of vibrating atoms. If you want to overcome fear, for example, tell us how that sensation feels in your body.
And finally, nickname your vibrations and commit to partying with them!
If you enjoyed this video, subscribe to our channel and sign up for your free weekly business and life advice at www.marieforleo.com
And if you're interested in more videos on conquering fear and limiting beliefs like this one, check out our RU-vid playlist on that exact topic here: • Overcome Fear & Self D...
Thanks for watching!

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14 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 267   
@kaysong4015
@kaysong4015 10 лет назад
Marie, what an amazing show. I was moved to tears when your husband talked about shyness as something to feel rather than something to overcome. The love between you two is inspiring. Thanks for your shows!
@thtrnerd221
@thtrnerd221 11 лет назад
I really like Josh's ideas. Emotions are just a flux of energy and calling them vibrations is just genius. I'm going to have to remember to use this.
@TheTiffanySquared
@TheTiffanySquared 9 лет назад
Marie is the epitome of someone who has found her true purpose. what a gift. and on a side note with this video ...absolute relationship goals
@coldspirit26
@coldspirit26 6 лет назад
Loved the way he says "I love you"..it's was natural and authentic...a beautiful moment..makes me want to fall in love again❤️
@morningglory3644
@morningglory3644 7 лет назад
I love the idea of riding through the emotion, rather than trying to hide it.
@Ittybittysteph
@Ittybittysteph 8 лет назад
This is so true, I dealt with anxiety and it wasn't until I stopped paying attention to the feeling and stooped associating my emotions with illness or having a heart attack, immediately I was able to focus on the moment and disregard the anxiety . I felt free. If everyone would do this I guarantee it would eliminate so much anxiety. Now when my heart beats faster I think to myself, wow I can feel my heart because I am alive , it's a good thing not bad! We can control so much with just the thought.
@julie5310
@julie5310 7 лет назад
steph vega THANK YOU! I really appreciate it.
@lizlopez1745
@lizlopez1745 5 лет назад
I agree, it is sooooooo true. I believe it, I'd be honest there was a time I didn't believe this could be true however when I'd put it into practice I came to realize how you really overcome so much, truly thankful and grateful for this major lesson learned☺
@ImRichardShepherd
@ImRichardShepherd 7 лет назад
This video has INSTANTLY changed my life. Thank u guys for sharing ur love and wisdom!
@riasb
@riasb 6 лет назад
I have fear sometimes that tingle around my belly and when it gets a little worse I feel tightening in my chest. I learned to sit with it and meditation helps. The video reinforced me to stay within and feel what I feel without trying to change it. It does go away after I breath in and out several times and think about what the worse case scenario might be. I have an exam tomorrow so I was going through these feelings a few minutes ago. However, I feel more centred now and am instead focusing on what I can do to get ahead on my exam. Gotta stay calm and carry on. The video really helped, thank you!
@nayinayi1
@nayinayi1 11 лет назад
There is so true if you aware of your feelings and yet be yourself instead of trying to be someone else, you appear as genuine person.
@elizabethruse
@elizabethruse 11 лет назад
I learnt this lesson recently when I had to give a speech at my sons wedding. I was terrified and thought I'd end up in a teary mess. Someone said to me 'Great! Use your shyness as an asset. People just love an emotional mum. So for the first time I considered my shyness as an asset rather than a sentence to doom. I shed a couple of tears but everyone thought that was a beautiful thing.
@helfulvids
@helfulvids 11 лет назад
I love that they did not try to hide their affection, which makes him totally relatable.
@jepkoechcaroline5663
@jepkoechcaroline5663 6 лет назад
I have been struggling with this for so long and today I came across this. Thanks alot Marie n Joshua.
@brenda6315
@brenda6315 6 лет назад
11:55 the way he looks at her ❤️Awwwwe
@susannesullivan3926
@susannesullivan3926 8 лет назад
I can totally see why you guys were/are drawn to each other You guys are awesome together.
@KarateNurseStacy
@KarateNurseStacy 7 лет назад
This was SO GREAT! Totally gave me a new way to look at my shyness and fear.
@effortlesslymish3458
@effortlesslymish3458 9 лет назад
I experience shyness when it comes to public speaking, small talk during networking and when filming videos for my blog. I experience a disconnect between my thoughts and my words. The vibrations feel like a huge wave coming towards me and that complete breathlessness right before it crashes because it is going to crash me down. If I have to nickname my vibes, I would call it 'surfy!'. lol So I can remind myself to ride it! Thanks Josh and Marie. I needed this!
@shellbell8062
@shellbell8062 7 лет назад
Ooooh you sound like me - right down to the name! And yes networking is when my anxiety rushes up in me too - and in making videos. I suddenly feel outside of my body as if someone just banged a pair of symbols against my head and I still need to act normal but I am suddenly clueless as to who I am in the moment. I think I'm going to call it Bunny - as I feel like a rabbit in the headlights. Bunny's here!
@Simplyresonate
@Simplyresonate 8 лет назад
One of my favorite MarieTvs! The simplicity of energy - vibrating atoms constantly exchanging with other vibrations. It is the nuts 'n bolts of what we are. Thank you Einstein - E=mc2 for this simple truth.
@parkerday308
@parkerday308 3 года назад
He's absolutely delightful and shared so much wisdom. What an amazing couple.
@creativityguidejenna
@creativityguidejenna 6 лет назад
My favorite episode even after all these years! Love you Marie and Josh😘🤗
@princessvoiceover522
@princessvoiceover522 10 лет назад
I'm going to be performing live improv acting in a month, and I am bubbles in my tummy when I think about it. I'm going to call it "I feel bubblay!" ready to rock!
@Flamingobear
@Flamingobear 5 лет назад
You guys are an adorable couple!
@Rally1ification
@Rally1ification 8 лет назад
Does anyone else think it's cute when he says "my daddy" ? Awwwww.
@tatianavalencia6286
@tatianavalencia6286 7 лет назад
Wow. Amazing video. I am currently a Dance and Psychology major in NYC and have been struggling with performance anxiety both when I dance and when I publically speak. It may stem from some self-esteem issues and my habit of creating ideas around what people may be thinking about me. I can see how looking at this shyness and anxiety in a different light without labeling it as "good" or "bad" and instead ride it rather than resist can really help me. Now that finals, presentations and performances are coming up I am going to try to alter my mind into viewing these feelings as empowering energies that can propel me into doing, what really is, two things that I love. Teaching (informing people) and dancing! Thank you both so much, I really appreciate your openness and willingness to share! Subscribing right away!! :)
@29wsani
@29wsani 11 лет назад
Thanks Marie for bringing Josh and sharing your ways to overcome shyness...got to remember that it's all atoms and vibrations!
@AmyTV
@AmyTV 11 лет назад
Love this video. Great pep talk on fears and I'll definitely keep this in mind should an emotion overwhelm me. I think I've been really good at embracing those feelings so far because it was as easy as being confident about what I do and the type of personality I have rather than emulate the way someone else may do the same thing. Just my thoughts. Thanks Marie!
@audragrady
@audragrady 11 лет назад
My atoms get tight and hot! Around my heart center and my shoulders like to crowd forward to try and protect them. This was an awesome message today! Thank you Marie and Josh.
@Kingofmyworld87
@Kingofmyworld87 8 лет назад
wow this video helped me so much to get out of the drama in my own head and remind me of my truth.
@Pathrissia
@Pathrissia 9 лет назад
Just perfect. Alright. My fear is to be myself 100% by expressing feelings and sharing thoughts to people (usually doesn't matter how many, but the more, the worse the feeling is). Its always starting in my chest an stomach. Little vibrations and a nauseous feeling. Then dizziness in my head and "cold sweat". The vibrations then move to the rest of my body such as legs and hands and the chest feeling gets heavy and head feels very light/empty. I would call this bubbling :)
@LovedHappy
@LovedHappy 7 лет назад
This is so simple but so profound and empowering! What a powerful duo you two make 😘
@lizlopez1745
@lizlopez1745 5 лет назад
Sooooo true, i agree you really have to change your mind set. I think that the reason you don't receive and practice this SIMPLE lesson (as it happened to me) is because if you are raised or come to realize or learn in the world (as I was) that you have to work hard to get anything in life and nothing comes easy, then in your mind set you dont believe nothing is easy and things in life are not that simple, however practicing this simple lesson first really empowers you more to take action confidently which causes you to overcome major hurdles and accomplish greater things and things don't look as hard as they once were😉Be blessed😊
@MadameApolantTV
@MadameApolantTV 9 лет назад
my emotion is anger and it feels like an explosion, fire, stop it and i am going to call it dragooon
@SunWellBeing23
@SunWellBeing23 11 лет назад
Yayyyyyyy....thank you for describing so beautifully what I am teaching people about sitting with their sensations and feelings with no judgement.....through my yoga and pt classes.......yayyyyyy.......am sharing this video........everybody so needs to be educated about this.......it is so important......have raised my children to embrace their feelings.......xx
@oozingcooleli
@oozingcooleli 11 лет назад
God bless you both for sharing these three points. I needed this not as a business advice but as a personal advice that is helping me with a breakup. The sensation/vibe is a rush that i get when someone wants to talk to me about myself and my flaws or anything of concern and i burst into tears immediately. It's an automatic thing i do which is what i am trying to work on. The only way i try to deal with it is by avoiding the talk with that person. I am not dealing with it at all.
@ennvee1989
@ennvee1989 2 года назад
Off topic but he's fantastic as Wade Miquelon on "The dropout"! Loved his role.
@marg2711
@marg2711 11 лет назад
Amazing! Here I was trying to change myself all these years! Josh you've articulated what I've always felt! Thanks for validating this,all the literature is about overcoming shyness. Shyness is such a noble trait,and so true about the wisdom of speaking from your heart no matter how your voice sounds. My struggle has always been about what other people think of me when I speak, I look too much into nonverbal gestures that it keeps me distracted. I get one mean stare and it shuts me right off!!!
@TheLexieWilson
@TheLexieWilson 11 лет назад
THANK YOU! I was JUST saying a similar thought earlier to myself and then BOOM! I see this video and it solidified for me what steps I need to take in order to truly live the life I want! You guys are GREAT together and I truly TRULY loved the steps Josh gave! THANK YOU!
@rainbowintheclouds6811
@rainbowintheclouds6811 9 лет назад
Feels like fight or flight when I feel like all eyes are on me or even just one set of eyes and I'm the center of attention and uncomfortable, I really can feel the vibration now that you mention it like heat creeping up my neck and poof instant red spots all up my neck and over my chest. It's like there's no hiding how I'm feeling. I can be outspoken if I need to be yet I'm actually timid in on the spot situations where I'm watched. I'll nickname it spritz because I just want to reach for a cool spray bottle to make those spots disappear.
@ambiliSM
@ambiliSM 3 года назад
Being an anxious or shy person I've always felt that I have a drawback and that I have to overcome those tendencies in order to be normal like others. Thank you both of you Marie and Josh, to assure me the value of 'feeling' natural and 'being natural'.
@fearlesssoul9408
@fearlesssoul9408 4 года назад
I'm really grateful for this incredible energy, thank you!
@AmySatori
@AmySatori 11 лет назад
Marie, this is so BEAUTIFUL. I love it. What a fantastic gift you've given us here. Thank you for sharing this great shortcut to dis-attaching from fear. Love you guys!
@shannonmauraconway
@shannonmauraconway 5 лет назад
There's something about your energy that is soooo great and comforting like I literally love you!!!
@naeemahjade
@naeemahjade 11 лет назад
Awwwww just that little snippet you could see all the BIG LOVE you guys have!! That is beautiful!!!! Made me happy inside.... AND those were awesome tips that I'm definitely going to put to use... I can't wait to try them. 7-12 seconds.. loooooveee that I know that now!
@natalieaojvan
@natalieaojvan 5 лет назад
I absolutely love love love this perspective and reframing of the emotions we feel! So many times these vibrations act as triggers where we spiral into the negative thought process of what we have experienced with this emotion before that it can seem out of control. But this approach brings back a sense of control and is such an amazing tool to reshape your relationship with your "negative" emotions into something more loving. SO AWESOME! so helpful, thank you guys so so much
@ElenaLipson
@ElenaLipson 11 лет назад
I love that tip...if you just FEEL the feeling it will move through in 7-10 seconds.
@ulsonn18
@ulsonn18 8 лет назад
Thank you so much for this episode! Extremely priceless for me in this very moment! Sending love and gratitude to all of you that made it possible
@TheExMuslima
@TheExMuslima 9 лет назад
What you resist, persists. :)
@alami6758
@alami6758 8 лет назад
I struggle most with anxiety, fear when I speak in front of people my hands are shakeing extremely I fell tightness of the chest and in my throat. I'm going to call it gone with the wind.
@jennboyermusic
@jennboyermusic 5 лет назад
Not only was this an amazing video and SUPER useful to dealing with my stage fright, but the "I love you"'s at the end of the interview literally made me "awwwww" out loud.
@LydiaTheLadybug
@LydiaTheLadybug 11 лет назад
This is brilliant. My favorite episode of marieTV so far! :)
@tamanresa
@tamanresa 6 лет назад
Absolutely love the advice given in this episode. So true.
@Itsgorgejess
@Itsgorgejess 11 лет назад
If this video wasn't inspirational enough.... The ending with you all dancing was the kicker!!! Thanks for sharing this tip! I'm thinking up a nick name for my emotion right now
@samuelb1638
@samuelb1638 2 года назад
I’m going through the roughest period of my life. So, thank you for sharing these powerful ways to help me to overcome life’s challenges. The video was funny, entertaining, and you and your husband shared a lot; definitely a channel worth investing my time into! Thanks 🙏
@jesslittleangel5
@jesslittleangel5 11 лет назад
This was so helpful! I cannot wait to consciously put these tips to use! I'm struggling with trying to feel comfortable and easy going around a new guy I've been seeing. I like him so much that I'm like a deer caught in headlights, and I can't be myself. The anxiety is hurting my relationship.
@mr1379
@mr1379 11 лет назад
1- fear which manifests itself as anger 2- hot tingling in my tummy which explodes all through my body often resulting in outbursts and slamming doors etc. 3- WOOSH!
@WebTrafficCash
@WebTrafficCash 9 лет назад
1 - State: unworthyness when public speaking/stepping up front (lack of confidence, shyness All kinda the same) 2 - Vibration: slightly uncomfortable within but sealed by a dark thin unpassable HARD shield on the outer aura. CLOSING OFF. Retiring within. 3- His name is VIKTOR, he melds by riding it. Awesome. psmsl. lol. I love ya too. lol
@tammylombard
@tammylombard 4 года назад
That helped a lot! Thanks to Josh! Thank you Marie.
@min0502y
@min0502y 8 лет назад
This is so great!! Thank you very much for sharing this. Such a great conversation and so creative!
@littleelfBC
@littleelfBC 11 лет назад
I found you videos yesterday and I adore you...you make me feel so excited about life in general...
@Lifeofloops
@Lifeofloops 7 лет назад
Seriously, my atoms when I feel shy or nervous reminds me of pop rocks after they touch your tongue... :I Great video! I love Marie TV!
@sharkypowerr
@sharkypowerr 8 лет назад
thank you so much! I have been struggling with this for years..
@cindyrodriguez1594
@cindyrodriguez1594 5 лет назад
Thank you Marie !! This was really helpful! Love this
@nicolebhappy888
@nicolebhappy888 9 лет назад
So great! Thank you much!!
@TheSerennaSpring
@TheSerennaSpring 11 лет назад
Thank you Marie! Im one of those people that are fighting with shyness, I'll try for sure this advices
@kennynguyen2318
@kennynguyen2318 11 лет назад
Thank you Josh and Marie! Def a game changer! Feelin' all the love "vibrating" from you guys... :)
@Happy_Stuff
@Happy_Stuff 10 лет назад
Love this... Thank you MAMA MARIE XOXO You Rock!
@misspede
@misspede 7 лет назад
I absolutely love this reframing!!!! Practiced it for anxiety and after reframing, I just felt sooooo calm!!!! :D
@hectorsmith1308
@hectorsmith1308 10 лет назад
Awsome! The most helpful words of wisdom I ever heard besides the scriptures! Love you both!
@annichristina5318
@annichristina5318 11 лет назад
I'm going to work on these concepts for myself. AND with my 6.5 year old. Thanks Josh!! thanks Marie !!
@EvelynGresham
@EvelynGresham 11 лет назад
I FEEL FEAR OF FAILURE OR PEOPLE NOT WANTING TO WORK OR BUY FROM. IT FEELS LIKE A BURST THAT NEVER ENDS. MY VIBE IS BAM!
@carlathomas281
@carlathomas281 9 лет назад
Great, great, great insights!
@jogaserca
@jogaserca 11 лет назад
Fantastic. Thank you Marie, you're both amazing!!
@DeniseOBerry
@DeniseOBerry 11 лет назад
Amazing ideas. Thank you for sharing Josh with us. There is so much energy between the two of you. You bring the world good things.
@chanilior4994
@chanilior4994 6 лет назад
I feel extremely nervous and tongue tied when I have to explain what I do to others or when I try to sell my products. I feel it in my extremities, specifically, in my hands and knees. My hands get sweaty and my knees all wobbly. Maybe I'll nickname it "sweety" and embrace it rather than avoid it, fear it or deny it.
@DarkBlueNutrition
@DarkBlueNutrition 7 лет назад
Preparing for a big presentation in grad school this week ❤ this helped so much! I struggle the most with fear of feeling "stupid" or "not good enough". I worry that people are judging me. When I reflect on it, it sounds so silly! But it feels so real in the moment.
@Charlotte_5612
@Charlotte_5612 11 лет назад
Such great advice! Thank you for sharing
@mb7a4fmlg
@mb7a4fmlg 7 лет назад
You Too are Awesome! God bless you Too,with lots more love and Happiness! Thank you So much for your help! Take care!
@ginarose3571
@ginarose3571 11 лет назад
Thanks for posting! Never looked at my fear in this way. I'm gonna try to roll with the feelings next presentation :)
@kgstiles
@kgstiles 11 лет назад
Beautfiul discussion about embodiment of the truth. Thank you!
@Fabieisthebest
@Fabieisthebest 11 лет назад
He is amazing! Shyness is not bad :) He is a great balance for you!!!
@Ihopeitsshittyattheblackdog
@Ihopeitsshittyattheblackdog 11 лет назад
Thank u for this advice I am going to practice this immediately
@tammyfana
@tammyfana 11 лет назад
i absolutely love this! thank you!
@adiroxstr
@adiroxstr 6 лет назад
I've ALWAYS had this feeling of fear and shyness, My father always tried pushing it out of me, but I wasn't able to overcome it in my youth and early 20's. It isn't until now that I'm 30 that I find myself becoming more and more fearless and less shy! I assume this comes with growth and age...but I feel like that feeling affected me and my opportunities. I do like the steps explained here because there are times that I get hit with these emotions and it just shuts me down completely. Thanks for another great video, I'll call my shyness and fear: Googly & Googly (this reminded me of a part in one of my favorite movies called The Fall)
@MeelisMatt
@MeelisMatt 4 года назад
Good content!! im thankful for everything you give Marie!
@fotofemme1
@fotofemme1 11 лет назад
Never thought of things that way. Public speaking is a necessity - might as well face it and call it by name! You might just like it - I know I did once I overcame it!
@user-xn2jc8yn1s
@user-xn2jc8yn1s 9 лет назад
This is literally awesome
@MrKrivchev
@MrKrivchev 10 лет назад
thanks of both, for this video
@SaraKanwal28
@SaraKanwal28 9 лет назад
Amazing! I have been stuck in this one. I had a real rough patch of time and during that period I had an interview to attend. First time ever in my life, I stuttered there in front of the whole panel and I was literally literally paralyzed in my chair Marie! I could not hear what next questions were asked, I could feel a loud buzzing in my ears. And since then I always have been stuttering during interviews (one of the biggest reasons of why I try to avoid them). But I am practicing this advice now (AT THIS MOMENT) and I am really feeling the "shiZAAM" effect :)
@biggernadz
@biggernadz 11 лет назад
This theory needs more attention.. It is powerful for anxiety and fear
@semt9
@semt9 11 лет назад
I love the little bits of affection seeping through the professional-ness :)
@TheMelEngland
@TheMelEngland 8 месяцев назад
10 years since you did this and I loved it!
@TeamForleo
@TeamForleo 8 месяцев назад
Glad to have you in our community for 10 years Melanie! 💗 Thanks so much for watching! - Monauar, Team Forleo
@roshanrahealer
@roshanrahealer Год назад
I love this video! :) A little late, but whatevs. :) Riding through the emotion is great! I do my best writing and art after I've processed an emotion, as the weight lifts and I feel freer. I struggle with a lot of emotions. They send me messages. The depression is like sulfur springs, where the scent pulls down the joy of the moment, into the sulfur springs of my gut. Anxiety is like uranium, which causes the split in my mind and compartmentalizes memories until they're ready to explode from me. Fear links with anxiety, and becomes neon, sending my cognition out the door so the hyperactive side of me appears manic because of the identity confusions. Anger is like the oxygen and silicon in volcanos. It remains dormant until I explode, just like the memories explode. The way I ride the emotions is through my multi-character writing, singing, researching, and practicing new skills. Like the video on perfectionism that I've been struggling to do because of perfectionism. So, researching psychological skills to enhance my me-ness is another atom, necessary for life. Curiosity is carbon. The building block of life. (I took atoms seriously. lol)
@lesalgado1
@lesalgado1 7 лет назад
So Josh, how's it like to win the lottery? Great job folks, thanks for providing actionable insights!
@dzihanahajdarpasicmisirlic5347
we want Josh in the show again.... great guy
@EleanorJustice
@EleanorJustice 11 лет назад
Best. Episode. Ever.
@VeggieMagnifique
@VeggieMagnifique 7 лет назад
These tips are genius! Thanks Josh and Marie - a power couple if ever I saw one
@rifa502
@rifa502 8 лет назад
Great talk, especialy the point just ride it instead of hide it. That was excactly what is was avoiding that people see my anxiety when speaking which made me just more anxious. I wil try to just ride it and be open about it.
@ibraidhair
@ibraidhair 11 лет назад
I was always a very shy quiet child. As a teen, I got embarrassed easily and HATED it. I hated any type of public attention. I would feel hot all over and feel tightness in my chest and head. When I realized I was blushing, it made me blush even more. Basically I was embarrassed that I was embarrassed. I hated it so much that I determined to change. I feigned confidence and boldness until it came naturally. Now, in my 30's, I sometimes wish I could go back. I don't like the "not me" I've become.
@BrendanrBrownify
@BrendanrBrownify 11 лет назад
This video came at a great time! Been giving a lot more workshops as of late.
@liznt
@liznt 11 лет назад
This is amazing.
@SoulSouffle8
@SoulSouffle8 11 лет назад
This is so darn helpful....superb..love it...
@tiffanynapier6361
@tiffanynapier6361 3 года назад
I’m New I love this video. My shyness And self doubt is making me feel like can I do it. I get tongue-tied And gets jumbled up . It doesn’t come out the way I want. I’m a call it sparks.
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