How To Overcome Your Self-Defeating Behaviors and Heal Your CPTSD

Подписаться 881 тыс.

Просмотров 125 тыс.

50% 1

🟢 Order My New Book and Attend a Special LIVE Workshop Sept 25: bit.ly/4dRI8Sj
Do You Have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
Everyone knows that past trauma generates struggles -- some caused by the people who hurt us in the past, and some caused by our own self-defeating behaviors, which can reactivate old wounds and keep us stuck in CPTSD symptoms. Many people are eager to help you focus on what other poeple did (which was no doubt harmful), and things in the past. But your own healing power lies largely in seeing where YOU are still acting on past trauma. Changing THESE behaviors is somethings the burst of power you need to break free of your trauma-driven patterns, and the suppression of happiness that so often goes with CPTSD. Here are ten clips from some of my best videos on changing self-defeating behaviors and healing your life.
***
🟢 Letters: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
🟢 Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
🟢 Take My Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
🟢 How I Recently Lost 27 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
🟢 Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
🟢 Learn to Heal Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
🟢 Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
🟢 Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
🔹 NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
🔹 8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD Symptoms: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
🔹 Join LIVE Webinars with My Team and Me: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
🟢 PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
🔹 Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
🔹 NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com...
🔹 Try MUSE Headband to Calm Your Mind: choosemuse.com...

Опубликовано:

28 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 418

@SweetSoulAwakening 8 месяцев назад

Thankyou for your videos, you have helped me so much. I found your channel yesterday and i havnt stopped watching your videos. You have turned your trauma into a gift to heal others, i would love to do the same some day. What a great inspiration you are Thankyou 🎉

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 8 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing your kind words towards Anna! Glad you are here and that you have found Anna's content helpful! Nika@TeamFairy

@cristinaevans139 Год назад

Is anyone else crying through this or is it just me please post

@jennykelter9518 Год назад

On the isolation piece, a lot of traumatized people just like myself isolate to stay safe because we are not healed enough to set healthy boundaries so even coming out a little at a time to me social can quickly lead to more traumatic stink because we are not healed. I understand you have to be in connection with others for healing but a lot of us pick the same types over and over without even realizing it

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Small steps to rebuild connections that are safe :) -Cara@TeamFairy

@petrastrong7799 Год назад

I completely relate! Keep whatever boundaries you feel you need! You will know! Dan siegel’s book mindsight and britt franks book “science of Stuck”are super helpful te boundaries! Nurture yourself as you heal and grow! The company can wait! Being by oneself is not necessarily the same as being lonely or alone! Stick with your process! Your SELF!! Keep on the path! we can do this! …we are doing it!!!

@evadebruijn Год назад

@@petrastrong7799 Thank you for the book recommendations 🙏

@FB.RocksannROUW Год назад

Hoping to see red flags faster

@Elizabethsumpter86 Год назад

100% this. Every time I try to connect with people, I end up majorly triggered and retraumatized. Starting therapy on Friday. Hopefully I can break the cycle

@mindfulmarie- 5 месяцев назад

I have watched 1 or 2 videos every other day for over a year now. I sometimes go back and re-listen to clips just to find a different more healed perspective. Thank you Anna x

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 месяцев назад

Wow, thank you!

@mindofthespirit1543 Год назад

Praying for those who've not gotten their breakthrough. Hugs Love and Blessings to All 🤗🤗 *This channel is great.* Hugs Anna

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks so much! -Cara@TeamFairy

@RockyRoad17 Год назад

literally me 15 minutes ago coming home, I was deep in this helplessness state then your video popped up. Thank you 🙏 I always tear up when I watch your videos, you’re offering outstanding value ❤️

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

So happy to hear that, sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@tanyacarlyle1422 Год назад

I tear up sometimes too 🙏 blessings on your journey 🙏

@teriskipper573 Год назад

I like to think my mind and body have a vibration. When I can clear negative thought with good and thankful thoughts, it changes the vibration that affects my whole day for the better

@witchhazel8583 Год назад

Thank you ANNA!!! I have heard people telling me " why haven't I heard this before? This is so good and gives us a clue about our own traumas"🎉🎉🎉🎉

@aintnoneyabusiness7634 Год назад

one of my traumas is writing down how i feel. when i was a kid my older brother and his friend found my diary ripped off the lock then proceeded to read me my diary entries and laugh at me and made fun of me. since then i have been very skeptical on writing down my real (or false?) feelings. i don't want someone to find them and then read them and then have to deal with them asking many questions or whatever their reaction may be towards me and what they read even though it wasn't theirs to read in the first place

@pattielliott1378 Год назад

Now to apply this. Like she said, hearing the words won't set you free. Like in golf, it's the follow-up that counts. Thank you for helping so many take the steps to improve lives. Entire families can be helped by her.

@deborahjofischer5692 5 месяцев назад

I’m so grateful I found you! I didn’t think this would apply to me… but trauma is different for everyone - I shouldn’t discount my own experiences just because they weren’t physical abuse! I’m in therapy for “elderly women with anxiety, depression & hoarding tendencies”. Your channel is frosting on my therapy cake! I cannot clear my home’s clutter, until I clear my internal home! Knowledge is empowering and I feel ready to take on my house with cleansing tears and joyful hope ❤

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

I still struggle with feeling like I'm a victim and that someone is out to get me. I'm currently working on this in therapy.

@evadebruijn Год назад

🍀❤️❤️❤️🤗❤️❤️❤️🍀💪

@CorporateQueen Год назад

Such great advice in this video. 😍 Removed someone unstable recently. Don't let people stand in your doorway and block your energy.

@EricaAbbate 7 месяцев назад

❤I found out 2 weeks I have CPTSD from watching a video that popped up. I’m story is so unbelievably insane and adventurous. No longer dissociative so yea….. NOW I KNOW EVERYTHING. AMNESIA

@adamwells515 Год назад

Thank you. I now have a starting point. This is going to be a very long journey for me. I will methodically watch all of your videos over the next few weeks.

@cherbuck1525 Год назад

Oh my gosh Anna...Fear, Anger, Analysis, Diagnosis and Fear again. Have you been in my head again?

@SuperMar10GalaxyBro Год назад

Every video is rich with incredible content!! Keep pumping them out!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Appreciate the encouragement! -Cara@TeamFairy

@robingoodfellow9171 Год назад

It is on the one hand creepy and on the other hand very, very consoling to find oneself in your descriptions. Thank you so very much for your videos!

@erinsmith1293 Год назад

I'm so thankful to have found you & your site & videos Anna! It seems the last piece of my puzzle is to do your courses to FINALLY complete my healing so that I can truly move forward in LIFE & LOVE.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

We're there when you're ready :) -Cara@TeamFairy

@lavd7932 Год назад

I just searched your channel as I was feeling a bit out of sorts today, and this video was exactly what I needed! Thanks for the work you do. Btw you look lovely! Love that hair and shirt color!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy

@susie5254 Год назад

I am amazed at your ability to quantify everything that has happened to me. My path to healing was so close to what you described that it's as if you knew me.

@hyperchord Год назад

I hate bitterness. When I'm disregulated, I get bitter as hell. I hate people that talk about letting the story go, moving on, etc. I want to burn them alive, burn everyone who even looked at me funny and destroy the world. Sometimes, I hear these ideas, and I want to scream "I'm sorry, I DO NOT want to live in the same world as these a holes. You're minimizing my trauma and these people need to be held accountable!" Though nothing ever changes. Its about maturity and I cannot reason with someone who wants to burn the world. It sucks

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

I like the Daily Practice technique because I can be as bitter as I want in that context without hurting anyone or triggering myself with resentment bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy

@evadebruijn Год назад

❤️❤️❤️🤗❤️❤️❤️ It can feel very catch22-ish to me: not wanting peoples moods contaminated by my bitter energy vs avoiding socializing unless I feel almost hypomanicly 'upbeat'.

@mrskmonster Год назад

I was careening toward the second group. Just feeling really hopeless, and honestly spending way too much time watching narcissism youtube. It kept me on the blame wheel and just spiralling downward. I'm so glad that I made my way back to your channel. I bought the CPTSD course and I'm working on it and doing the daily practice. I'm feeling better already. I just recently got married. I used to only really feel responsible to myself in regards to my healing, but now that I have a husband I feel even more determined to figure this out. He is a wonderful, supportive, patient, amazing man and I want to show up the best that I can in this marriage.

@jerryfinn7237 Месяц назад

No one hurts me, disappoints me, ridicules me, disrespects me, vomits contempt on me when I’m alone.

@jeanjacobs9965 Год назад

Greetings! I am new to your channel and I just had to stop the video and say that I am a part of the second group of discouraged people who can't see the possibility of healing for myself. I love what you have been telling me about your techniques and I am starting to try them. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! Love and blessings ♥️🙏

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Welcome to the channel! We're so glad you're here. We understand feeling discouraged, but we're rooting for you and hope that the techniques help :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@yellowsunflower7714 Год назад

Dear Anna, thank you SO much for your inspirational and educational videos. These make such a difference to us! Please can you do a video on how CPSTD affects sleep, and sleep maintenance? Thank you so very much 🙏🍂🍂

@sunshinepadawan Год назад

Your genuineness shines through

@wkrapek 8 месяцев назад

38:00 “Didn’t get the memo.” Exactly. I’ve thought for decades my tombstone would read “I Don’t Get It.” I’ve also thought a lot about “giving up on humans.”

@salparedo 10 месяцев назад

You rock! Im on my healing journey for 3 years and for sure you have given me direction. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! -Seth

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for being a part of our community here! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

@cristinaevans139 Год назад

You made it Anna you did it ❤

@wkrapek 8 месяцев назад

5:42 It’s true. Everything you said is true. I blew off the Daily Practice because I just wasn’t down for yet ANOTHER thing to do that doesn’t work. But it’s worked for me. And since I know my nervous system is permanently damaged I know I have to do this for the rest of my life. No big deal. Half hour a day more or less? Although I’m just starting so I’m doing it twice a day. And that’s exactly what The Wheel does - it evaporates. I’m shocked it worked so fast. OTOH I’ve been “managing my damage” for decades so I’m primed for this. Diet. Lots of exercise. Good sleep. Etc. So others might be slower off the blocks.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 8 месяцев назад

So glad to hear it. Thank you for sharing this with us! Nika@TeamFairy

@wkrapek 8 месяцев назад

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy The black and white thinking has also disappeared. I’ve been letting down my friends lately - time to make amends. I’ve been insulted at work for several months, and although I’ve been quietly talking to people, it’s just getting worse. Time for a frank conversation. :-)

@justknucklesandtails Год назад

5:01 “And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t 🤷🏼‍♂️ And it was so nice, so peaceful and quiet” -Taylor Swift

@barbpace-lamb Год назад

After divorcing all narcs and I’m finally starting to heal, yeah!

@petrastrong7799 Год назад

In short: No one can “make” us feel anything! That’s our job!

@quiethours1818 Год назад

As always, I appreciate you guys, Anna and company. Thankyou for this.

@restauracioncorporal5775 Год назад

Oh Crappy Child hood Fairy thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this channel!!! All the videos I have seen so far speak to me with so much clarity and reality . God bless you and your loved ones!!!!

@matthewjay2680 Год назад

49:25 I can emphatically tell you that it’s my abandonment melange that kicks into high gear & literally paralyzes me to try new & different experiences and opportunities. Anna, you are a godsend to those of us who want so badly to heal and feel Joy in life again but due to their being abused & neglected in childhood made it excruciatingly difficult to see with clear and uncluttered lens because of Life-robbing dysregulation. It took me 53 years to finally realize why all my relationships were either inappropriate, unfulfilling, and just plain wrong, and learning what being the family scapegoat as a kid conditioned us to feel apologetic about our existence. I watch your videos every day and slowly but surely I’m beginning to juuust bounce back, the first steps in realizing my triggers and anger issues and people-pleasing passive aggressive behavior. My late fiancé died of long-term alcohol abuse and the both of us loved each other but in a very codependent situation that prevented it from being healthy. Your insights and reflections on C-PTSD have provided a space for my soul to breathe and look at the reality of my lifelong crap-fitting. Bless You & keep up the great work. I’m so thankful for your gifts you share. You help us start going in the right direction again 🙏💜

@TheLordsbattleaxe Год назад

I'm a good soul no matter what I am struggling through.

@cristinaevans139 Год назад

I can’t change quickly enough I just found out my mother has dementia she is asking for me and I feel if I see her I will fall into a thousand pieces I haven’t seen her for 20years and I live 3000 miles away I’m not able to drive 100miles from my town let alone get on a plane I just don’t know what to do can’t stop crying

@lambsauce1468 Год назад

Can you phone your mother instead of visit?

@cristinaevans139 Год назад

I talk and write but it’s not the same as a hug thank you so very much for taking the time to say that ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

If you don't do Daily Practice, start now! bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy

@The_Vanished Год назад

ADHD amounts to CPTSD, period. The prefrontal cortex is the part of us that "learns" not just keeps memories. Maybe you kept some behavours that you leaned earlier in life. Shutting people down due to your feelings are exactly the same, or you think your pain is worse? Then you just think everyone is as simplistic as that? Nobody heard you and you think someone's acting like their situation is worse? No, people have extremely complex thoughts, which occur no matter what. An intense emotional reaction is due to CPTSD and no longer being able to exhert control over the emotion, either expression externally or to automatically redirect that emotion into motivation or just feeling calm. You need emotional concordance with someone like a parent, then they would normally tell you its okay. Then even try to soothe you with externally soothing behaviors. When you lose your anterior cingulate cortex then emotional immaturity and emotional control, blame, unregulated displays, denial, narcissism, annoyance with other people expressing themselves, that's your fault go figure it out because bringing your abuse to other people is abusive. Get over it, I'd be more interested in providing emotional support and concordance if you weren't about to just make me take the blame for your emotional regulation problems.

@babettegrimaldi4574 Год назад

I am at that place were I am surviving without damage but I am still struggling with abandonment. I don't know how to feel the pain that sometimes washes over me. I do not hate me. I think I am a great person. I meditate. I self reflect. I do à lot of spiritual work but the abandonment feeling still comes to haunt me and it is painful.

@yourresidentialhomegirl6577 Год назад

It hurts so bad how true this is 😅

@johnnyutah6056 Год назад

Notes to future self: Must listen to 1:02:39-1:12

@moonstonemystic Год назад

Ok, so I will watch the video, but I'm commenting to say, "ooo, girl, you got GOOD HAIR in your thumbnail!" I realize this has zero importance, but I really like it!

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

Obesity is a common problem for Molestation survivors like myself....

@steph6109 Год назад

Sorry. I know its off topic but your hair in yhis video is gorgeous.

@pandapanda7664 11 месяцев назад

I am veryyy clingy, needy and in victim mentality. Moving abroad made it worse. And the offers like „take some courses, meet new people“ felt so wrong-fake: why do I have to pay money to find friends?? So I did nothing and stayed lonely for long🥴

@mimig474 Год назад

I either numb or get over emotional when I am emotionally hurt or betrayed. I like ppl & i am very kind and non judgemental and ppl share with me very personal things with me. The last couple of years I have started to lash out ,act very emotionally immature,etc. Im pissed at myself bc I dealt with my CPTSD,ADHD,Autism very well even my neurologist was impressed but At 40 I had 3 gran mal seizures and even after 8 years I am struggling with how I am different from before it. And even my neurologist of 15+ years has mentioned her concern

@kaziquefly Год назад

I wake up disregulated on the weekends. I think about phoning my family and right away I get anxious and worried that something horrible has happened to them. Then I am super sad most of the weekend for no reason. I just want to cry and stay in my bed. Anyone can relate? 😬😩

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Good time to try Daily Practice out :) bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy

@motivationalpeptalk-withmu4630 Год назад

“Like you didn’t get the memo on how to act”. EXACTLY

@anza-annaretha Год назад

Thank you SOOO much

@genievibes3675 Год назад

totally isolation has worked for me. thanks for good info

@hoshboshbgosh514 Год назад

What a great compilation. Much appreciated... You got a book on the way?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Yes, soon

@joannapowell3579 4 месяца назад

“Ticking timebomb of triggers..” 😅

@rsi4561 Год назад

my 450k waking hours not to mention the 10s of thousands of hours of nightmares LIVING with CPTSD far outweighs someone reading about it in a book here n there over 4 years in school.

@andycodling2512 Год назад

I have just asked my boyfriend to find somewhere else .. he said loosing his parents and home was the reason why he didn't touch me or kiss me.. we were together 3 months and he ended the relationship last year.. he found himself falling out with his friend and having nowhere to go so I offered him a bed .. first night we were intimate, then boom we were a couple and he was asking if we could live together as a couple A couple without intimacy until he recovered from loosing everything Pretty soon I could see and feel this isn't right and pretty soon I was being triggered.. once again I found someone who made me feel unloved.. this time it didn't take long, half a year and he was out.. I feel guilt because of his situation but I just couldn't do it.. and he's now at his friends, sofa surfing but safe.. not a easy one but he was seeing this as his forever home, Politics of having a girlfriend is hard for him he said... Its not hard to kiss your new partner.. it shouldn't be anyway... It wasn't easy but the alternative wasn't an option for me now.. he's out and I can relax again,

@ariconsul Год назад

My reaction is to feel tired whenever anyone talks positivity -- I feel invalidated, ashamed for not being more positive, and defeated because my feelings don't align with the presenter.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

When we're full of fear and resentment, that's exactly how it feels. Try this free course bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy.

@ariconsul Год назад

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you very much Cara!

@williamstone2125 2 месяца назад

Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 месяца назад

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy

@williamstone2125 Месяц назад

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy This is very helpful for me and a few of my ACOA friends.

@adrianaledezma6920 Год назад

where is the carb sensitivity quiz?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Sorry, they changed all their links. You can check out the website of Bright Line Eating to learn more.

@aliveslice Год назад

42:10

@loombandz6722 Год назад

I think there is a reply clip here

@helenatroy33 Год назад

You can heal, but then you clearly see how most people haven't done their healing by the way they respondto things, conduct etc.. Quite the paradox.

@denisepeiris3222 Год назад

What do you do instead of watching tv if it is the only company you have for days on end. I walk and possibly say hello to someone. But I can’t walk for hours. I can’t clean the house for hours. I have no work. I have no relatives. I have no friends. So at least tv keeps me company

@vidamariaixchel4962 10 месяцев назад

Well, it can be worse. Today I visited a guy in my street who turned out to have a silicone sex doll seated in one of his chairs, not even for sex, but “to have some company”. 😢

@Christina-ot9ie Год назад

Mmmm energy , need more energy , physically exhausted

@laraslong Год назад

I was so disheaerend by hearing that i am likely to struggle with relationship in proportipn to how long i have been disregulated.. I am 37, and i have been disregulated since i was 16.. Am i getting this right? Does she mean i am likely tonatruggle with relationships til i am aproching 60? A little help, please :)

@lorraineamico42 Год назад

I’m getting angry at myself so angry why but why did I torcher myself beat myself down 😢all my life thank you for waking me up before I drop dead I’m in the breakthrough healing now is possible for me can’t be angry anymore because I’ll die in the process I didn’t work this hard to give up the pain always up and down I can’t be trapped anymore just can’t suffer anymore I don’t blame but more angry at me not at the people just not I should know better that’s why I’m angry all at me 😮@lorraineamicothe makeupartist I’m never helpless running for my life I’m not alone many many people like me and worse trying so hard to heal have to have a vision I’m getting physically sick because I know I’m so so close to recovery of this scared to be not suffering don’t know how to handle new me thank you Anna ❤

@phemery1182 Год назад

Hate the holidays, feeling like such a loser, having no family now all dead. Having grown up in very disfunctionally neglectful & abusive way. Everyone else got "the manual" I didn't, feeling like an alien at times around people. Your support, guidance, perspective helps a lot & useful so much more than therapist can. Thanks!!!

@lorriepowers3086 Год назад

Your family of origin may be deceased. Hopefully you have a network of friends who are your family of choice. If not, it's something to work on if you choose. We are never alone. We are surrounded with angels and guides to support and love us. And I'm sending you my love, too.

@ruthiescafe Год назад

Me too. I rarely know what to say when people wish me any form of Happy Holidays...when they are not happy at all.

@matthewjay2680 Год назад

Hear hear!!

@melissahood2960 Год назад

The holidays are a brutal reminder of all we don't have

@Annie-442 Год назад

😞

@helenmorgan1807 Год назад

Going to bed, this popped up on my phone. No accident. I needed to hear this truth. Deregulated for months. I have to break the cycle. The most helpful advice ever. I had almost lost hope for recovery. These suggestions will work. Something you said was a breakthrough. I will revist this particular video until I don't need to. Thank you Anna

@blackthornsloe8049 Год назад

This is so pertinent for me right now . I've been hiding and protecting myself so much that ,without realizing it I have been stagnating. I like to say " hunkering in my bunker " . Before I knew it I was in deep despair and feeling suicidal . I've looked that feeling in the eye and decided instead of self destruction I'd join the local Co op and sell my paintings and jewelry. I'm afraid I'll screw up and people will hate me but I'm not done trying to figure out how to live like a regular person.. I'm using these videos. Thanks.

@hcf555 Год назад

I hunker in my bunker too. Good luck with your paintings and jewelry! Talented!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Really glad the content is helpful to you! -Cara@TeamFairy

@KathyHussey063 10 месяцев назад

Try to release yourself from thoughts that pop up that are fearful. I found my thought, the ones that doubted me, doubted my worth, doubtedif peoplelovedme, doubted everything only sapped my spirit, my joy and they actually kept me down & crippled me. I had to change alot of my inner thinking by saying more positive, uplifting, reassuring & empowerng things to myself EVERYTIME I noticed I was thinking or saying anything negative aboutme or anyone else, about life. Now I use this daily to counter any automatic thoughts that try to pop up, anything that brings me down, devalues me or in any way puts myself down,I would respond to it with a statement that was positive. Before very long, I realized the thoughts no longer plagued me & if one even tries to start now, it's pretty amazing, to me, that I've managed to retrain my automatic stream of constant thoughts so that if anything disempowering, fearful, negative, insulting or critical begins to be thought, my inner voice will immediately LEAP to MY defense & say or think things that will counteract the misery increasing thoughts I had ALL the time. WE need to talk to ourselves the way a LOVING Mother would if she heard us saying the things we say to ourselves. Those thoughts kept me trapped in self doubt, self pity, thinking I had no power to effect how sad I often felt, thinking there was no way I could effect my own happiness. But we truly CAN change the inner dialogue & that's where most of our unhelpful, judgemental, perfectionist, critical thoughts about ourselves come from, most of our insecurity & unpleasant feelings come from what we keep telling ourselves. We need to decide we're done with the hurting 'US,' that we will use all our brain power now to HELP & to HEAL us, because we CAN actually help ourselves so much to crawl out from under a lifetime habit of treating our own selves so badly. I send much LOVE to you, and I want to say, to your inner dialogue; "HEY, she needs your help from here on out, she does not need your negativity so start HELPING OK?"

@Gemisnotmyname Год назад

I think huge part of CPTDS healin for me has been to be compassion to myself. The same compassion I show to others is much needed for my own inner child

@SvayaG Год назад

My husband and I are both working on healing our own CPTSD and we try to help each other at times when we see the other "stuck". Recently, at one point when I was in the middle of some self sabotage he said "you need to forgive yourself" and I physically recoiled and mentally said "absolutely not!!" and nearly yelled it out loud. It really caught me off guard tbh, I've never had such a clearly mean reaction to myself, and made me start thinking about why I was doing that. Having compassion for myself has never been a consideration for me, so I need to work on it too

@BitsyBee Год назад

Great insight!!!

@KathyHussey063 10 месяцев назад

@@SvayaG I forgave others going through absolute he&l in 2011 and aprofound cleansing peace of mind and spirit engulfed me thst it's hard to describe. In those moments, I realized how much I'd been holding against my OWN self, how much of my bitterness against others for the times something they did or said had hurt me, how much of that truly stemmed from my internal decision & judgement that MY OWN behavior (at times) had been so unacceptable, so abhorrent or completely unforgiveable in my own eyes. When I finally found the compassion to RELEASE the pain & anger I held in me, the judgement I'd clung to towards others (for being hurt) it was a total revelation, an epiphany to me, to feel myself release all that judgement towards my own self, too. There was a flood of healing I felt through opening myself up enough to really forgive others (for their faults, short comings, bad decisions, etc. whatever had hurt me in some way). I had to enlarge my heart with real understanding so I could forgive fully, from my heart, from the swell of compassion I felt for others & their missteps, for our shared human condition/existence (which has us all fumbling through an insane existence where we know very little & so far too often must learn the most important things THROUGH our bad decisions.) I got there by thinknig about every person as if they were my beloved children ( all 4 adults now) & how eager I always was to let go of & forgive them of anything, how easily I understood their human imperfection, frailities, worries, their own bad choices. The reason I could do that, it hit me, was because of my intense LOVE for them. It hit me why people can forgive horrible things, becsuse a person is millions of moments of life, relationships, good and bad choices. I realized that a few minutes, a few choices, do not encompass a whole life & so too, our errors do not DEFINE us. It's what we learn & what we remember and choose to do every moment that decides who we'll be. I never ever expected to discover I'd been holding myself as judged and condemned, in my own heart. So ofcourse, with that inside, judgement towards others holds on like a leech if we can't forgive ourselves. But this is why the Bible tells us repeatedly to forgive others fully, because in that fully loving space, we can love ourselves fully and forgive ourselves too. It relesses the energy binding us to those we can't forgive, and it heals us also, to love that widely.

@imatubewatcha Год назад

"Don't let your CPTSD become your identity" .. I tell other people and myself.. "That's what happened to me, that's not who I am!"

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Exactly! -Cara@TeamFairy

@sarahneels4331 Год назад

Exactly what I needed to hear thank you ❤️🙏

@devanshgupta4107 5 месяцев назад

🙌

@Jach28 Год назад

Today, I am free. Your lessons have mirrored almost everything I have been struggling with, and have made it easier to recognize the patterns I no longer have tolerance for in my life. I am so grateful for your videos and your advice. Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Wonderful! -Cara@TeamFairy

@red2843 Год назад

I am doing a series in a Live Talk on Reddit each week ,playing your videos on Audio and helping groups of people with your messages. THANK YOU SO MUCH ! these videos set me on a new course of healing and I am spreading it to others. Appreciate your work so much ! Healing each day more. I will be doing these for a few weeks. It gives me the opportunity to talk with and listen to others with CPTSD and Limerence. I hope it continues to help others in my group. Thank you Anna! Your videos change and help lead to healing.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

How cool! I just took a listen while preparing my desk for a day of work. You're wonderful, and what great work you're doing attracting an audience into discussion for mutual healing (so important). I'm guessing your finger is fine after the bite -- yes?

@julieschaefer9964 Год назад

Thank you, Anna, for all that you do. I love the practical way you help us with our cptsd. At 63 I'm a slow starter here but, I am determined to heal and not lose any more time. By the way, I love your new hair color and style. You look wonderful!

@cherbuck1525 Год назад

I am also 63 and am healing at a whole new level watching Anna's videos and using her tools. I still get abandonment milage especially with my parents and F.O.O. So glad to have found the Crappy Childhood Fairy.

@mountain5623 Год назад

Hi Julie, I'm new here and like you, determined to not keep living this way. I will be 61 next month. I'm Thankful I found Anna's channel. Many blessings on our determined journeys. 🙏🏔️

@wendi2819 Год назад

❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@julieschaefer9964 Год назад

@@mountain5623 so glad to see I'm not the only one that's older and just starting out on this path. Thank you for your encouraging words!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

You can do it! -Cara@TeamFairy

@northofyou33 Год назад

I spent most of my life isolating myself, even in the midst of my quest for healing ,which consisted of therapy, 12-step programs, and spiritual questing. Several years ago, it just hit me in a very strong way, in a knowing way, that everyone is broken and hurting and struggling to heal. That made my experience of being around other people less of a challenge and more of a learning and awakening experience. I started going into social situations with a kind of openness and wonder rather than fear and defensiveness. My life changed a lot as a result. Now, these videos have added so much to that healing journey. I have many challenges still, but ultimately, I feel life is a wonder, and I am so happy to be where I am. I am even strangely happy for the challenges I face.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Wow, thank you for sharing this! It's so great to hear about your healing journey, we're sending your encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@rozreynolds4663 9 месяцев назад

I hope I can get where you are.

@lisalambert81865 Год назад

I was born and raised into that environment and it was until I was 47 that I started on a path to find the person I never knew, the person that I was born to be, me! People say I act like I know everything but they would be surprised to know what I really feel inside. I speak things out and to others to hear them myself, many times just telling someone of the tools to heal helps me absorb it better. But I am proud of who I am becoming each and every day.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing! So happy to hear that. -Calista@TeamFairy

@imatubewatcha Год назад

I do that too! When I say something helpful to someone in a conversation it's like it echos back at me and cements it inside me! Then I actually use it to help myself 😉 I can actually feel it when what I'm saying comes back at me. I usually tell the person I'm talking to that I can tell God is using my own mouth to speak to me and we laugh.

@mariaprovkina Год назад

Thank you for this long video with a lot of details. 31:34 #1 34:49 #2 37:47 #3 38:53 #4 39:39 #5

@DEEPCYCLEGARAGE Год назад

Got rid of the ex wife and am out of debt, grateful and happy in my relatively lower middle-class life. I don't make a lot of money but I just went and walked the dog in the middle of the work day. I also get to be at home and homeschool my 8 yr old. Being a single Dad is so great w/o the ex sucking all the air out of the room. I get to be a Dad! When you have a kid with an overbearing control freak you are always 2nd and taking the lead is never good enough and will lead to a fight! Get out of bad relationships and BE FREE!

@lowings848 Год назад

Same my friend, well I'm almost debt free probably another two years or so. I'm really happy for you that you get to enjoy your fatherhood now, it sounds like it does you good. I feel the same about being a mother to my 5yr old daughter, and our relationship is doing a lot better. A lot of money doesn't mean a lot of value.

@lorriepowers3086 Год назад

Thanks for sharing your story. I need to move on from a bad relationship, too. My spirit has been in survival mode too many years and there is no real hope in sight. My husband is entrenched in CPTSD and a sex addict in denial. He has a lot of self-defeating behaviors and my studies and evolution into being a better person myself have not created a solution. I think I'm going to chalk this one up to a soul contract and be grateful for the benefits for both me and my husband. Unfortunately there's just nothing to base a real relationship on. It was destroyed a long time ago and I've been living like a love addict and ignoring a lot of important stuff. Heartfelt compassion goes out to everyone wearing these shoes. And thank goodness for the crappy childhood fairy! Love you, Anna.

@loriraemorris4142 Год назад

@@lorriepowers3086 sounds so similar to my self defeating living situation. Would love to connect with other women to help heal.

@lorriepowers3086 Год назад

@@loriraemorris4142 I believe when we reach out in Anna's comment section we are creating a connection energetically. Hearing from others on their personal journey helps us to know we are not alone.. as does Anna's beautiful videos. Sending you love and strength for your journey upward and onward.

@manyBlessings2all Год назад

@@lorriepowers3086 Thank you for saying about commenting creating energetic connection, I feel that too altho not seen anyone say it before. Sounds like you are on a full-on healing journey, bless your heart and wishing you all the best & happiness

@TheLordsbattleaxe Год назад

My life is real. My life is important.

@socialdistancingon8333 Год назад

Thank you for this video. I had all my plans down for the day, but when I saw this video, I knew I had to put those plans on hold that long and continued with my current passion project (I finally have one after so long of feeling nothing for doing things!). I used to be in the 2nd group for so long (over 3 decades - and, occasionally, it still comes out from time to time), however, I am also moving my way into the first group. There are many things you mentioned in this video that I am actively working on at the moment. However, I am okay with being pretty (not entirely) isolated at the moment. I just have too many things I have to work on for myself, and other people truly are a distraction from what I am working on. Plus, there is eventually wanting better friends around myself. I feel I get enough people time chatting with cashiers, my worker, a pen pal, and the one neighbor I visit occasionally these days. I'm going to save this video so I can listen to it over and over again, to make sure I'm keeping up with my mental self care. The continuous self talk in conversations, instead of just listening, or showing an interest in what others have to discuss is something I just noticed recently, and is something I am paying more attention too, as it annoys me that I even do it. Bc I understand how others view it, and I want to change that for myself. There are better ways for me to feel connected to others in conversations in that particular manner. I am grateful that you are here making these videos to help myself and others through the daily struggles while navigating life in general.

@krystalhoekzema2578 Год назад

I just quit my job of two years after enduring a toxic, cliquey and bullying environment. Loved the job, hated my peers. Your video is coming at the perfect time bc i def needed this.

@jessh1401 Год назад

That’s me rn…4 years in. Heading to school in January so I can get out of the industry completely.

@godzillamanstreb524 Год назад

You did the right thing

@ms.harripersad8227 Год назад

What would you do now that you quit your job because of a toxic environment ?

@dianeatpeace337 2 месяца назад

I always ask "would you rather work a job you love surrounded by people you hate or a job you hate surrounded by people you love?" Personally, I'll always choose the latter, as good people can make even the worst jobs better.

@bohansenboh Год назад

When you get emotionally triggered try to be hyper aware of your surroundings. So if you're at work focus on what other people around you are doing. In nature, focus on the wild life or bird sounds. Alone in your apartment, focus on what you can do to better your living situation or go outside and focus on the world around you. It's one of the things that I've started doing when I get triggered and I think it's really helpful.

@uzoo9505 Год назад

Healing is absolutely possible....it takes decision, determination and love.....Praise God.....

@andylima24 Год назад

🙌🏻✝️

@musicmaker4life20 Год назад

I like connecting with people, but I thoroughly enjoy being alone though. I feel the most comfortable with myself, I rarely crave talking to someone and get enough social interaction at work and through volunteering. I'm an introvert and being around people for too long drains me. I don't have negative nagging thoughts of worry when I'm alone, I have peaceful, creative, introspective thoughts when I'm alone. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I prefer only having a handful of close relationships.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing! -Cara@TeamFairy

@evadebruijn Год назад

Solitude feels different when there is a handful of close connections only a phonecall away, than when you have pets and that's it. Happy to hear you have that handful to cherish❣️✌️

@another20sth Год назад

Everyday, I am grateful that this channel exists because I get an inch by inch insight into why I am the way I am right now without hating myself. I am a 22 year old med student and I've been working on healing myself since two years ago, it hasn't been easy. I keep finding myself in similar patterns or losing focus and getting frustrated and dissapointed when I find myself slipping into self destructive patterns. I know I am a long way away from loving myself fully and I am super grateful for the reminder that I am not my trauma because for a while I have been feeling very lost from who I am and this has been unsettling. Either way, I am reminding myself that change is possible and there's always a choice. Thank you CCfairy ❤

@mayarose2267 8 месяцев назад

Please would you like to help me I'm a first years student and I don't who I'm . I'm preplexed in all my decisions I don't know what to do I constantly lose a piece of myself like I want life but I can't live

@anitanez8425 6 месяцев назад

Awesome a med student. It sounds like you are worki g on your healing!

@mayarose2267 6 месяцев назад

@@anitanez8425 no i'm actually at my Bed covered with blanket having bad Dreams not going to school ruining my future the issue is I'm aware of everything but I can't move anymore it's harsh when you're the enemy in your story

@anitanez8425 5 месяцев назад

Support to you

@mayarose2267 5 месяцев назад

@@anitanez8425 thanks

@vespertine789 Год назад

I've been isolating myself for years now but I don't feel healthy enough to let someone in yet. Whilst I've made strides in self-awareness, and emotional regulation, my life is no where near in order and I'm still lacking direction.. My issue is that I can feel how deadening life is without love, I think it's precisely what makes anything meaningful, the sharing of it. And it's a critical step to moving beyond developmental trauma, and these patterns of limerance I tend to find myself in because obviously there's unmet needs there, otherwise that wouldn't be happening. At what point are you ready to put yourself out there? is the voice in my head that says I have nothing to give, that I'm too much of a dysfunctional failure for love, a voice of reason or of trauma?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

This is a daily technique Anna recommends: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy

@SJ-li6ho Год назад

Hear all of that. Same shit happens here in the UK!

@mattie7965 Год назад

😢

@circularisnotthis4316 Год назад

Anna Runkle and team: I could fill up a library with self help books. If they helped then only one would do but they didn’t and your help does. This real time, constant total reinforcement of good practice helps. I’m so grateful that I live in this world.

@IamStreber 6 месяцев назад

I know this is a year old, but I want to say I questioned myself worth. I asked myself have I ever felt worth and I believe when I was a child I knew to some extent. I found myself looking back and this is what I have seen: 1. When I was a little girl I asked my dad, “Dad, can you ask mom to stop calling me names?” That was me advocating for myself. Sure he didn’t do it, but that doesn’t change the fact that I knew what she was doing was wrong. 2. I ran away from home. I knew my home was not safe for me. No there was no sexual abuse, drugs or alcoholism, but abuse is abuse. And I knew I didn’t want it. And again advocating for myself. I told myself to leave. I know I still have pain from my past trauma and I also know there is something in me that wants what is best for me. I always knew it but the pain or should I say flash backs are not fun. I also want to add a thank you to everyone for sharing because I am finding hope from this experience with all of you. The videos are so helpful.

@angiedawn-nq3tn 8 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this comprehensive teaching Anna it gives me a glimmer of hope. I’m 55 and only just starting the healing journey from cptsd and adult ptsd. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes as most of my adult life has been destroyed but I’m hoping somehow despite my age and trauma I can heal and find love and have a good life for the next 30 years or so. Bless you. Angie uk

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 8 месяцев назад

Thank you Angie!

@christinagurrola5335 Год назад

These videos teach me more and help me find tangible solutions to think differently, than any therapist I’ve seen during my awful spousal abandonment. I’m 39 years old!

@valeriasindicic6256 Год назад

I watched a lot of your videos, and you helped me tremendously. I don,t comment because it's quite hard for me to keep focused, so I use my energy on things that help me stay regulated. You explain everything so detailed and so relatable and I have to go back, than write down, than go over it....I,m still work in progress, but I,m still here, fighting for myself and my healing. I just wanted to say thank you Anna, thank you so much. Things I learned from you have offten been things that kept me alive.

@vickistrouse850 Год назад

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@anikalee9012 Год назад

I has been very thought. I don't have any supported system. But finally I'm healed.I feel greaful for this channel for being part of me and many people in healing journey.Thanks you so much. I hope you all who going through this can heal one day. And I'm sure you will.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@DancingL704 Год назад

Thank you for your help 💕

@gimj1_8 Год назад

Such excellent, astute and practical content. Even your delivery is warm and kind you're truly doing great work! Thank you

@jilli813 Год назад

Thank you for what you’re doing. It’s been so eye opening.

@roycexroyce6446 Год назад

Holding stuff in is half my problem. I need to be yelling at people.

@AADM.1 Год назад

10:58 “Well now you joined the ranks of the First group”😭❤️

@Artistpath Месяц назад

Loving relationships? That’s why I have a dog. She’s the definition of love and happy. I sometimes believe I forgot how to feel anything anymore. A few moments with her I begin to experience good emotions again. I can listen and she can listen without the need to talk. She is the most intuitive creature on earth. People only know how to betray you.

@VJolie3 Год назад

I must say, you are looking gorgggg in that thumbnail.

@shannonshaw1463 5 месяцев назад

Wow.. you are an Angel sent from God!! I found you by typing in cognitive behavior therapy for self destruction and came across you! I was just 7 minutes in and was in tears.. every word that came out of your mouth was every thought that I have felt or am currently feeling.. oh my 😢… I truly thank God for you💗🙏

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 месяцев назад

I'm so glad you're here!