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I tried this tactic and it worked. It gets the player so confused, they start to chase after you. But because you had moved on and don't really care, it drives them nuts at the same time. Brilliant!
When you meet a Player, you move on, find someone who is serious. You dont stay to win over them, u have nothing to prove coz you are capable and attractive.
You said girl.....no one has time these days to keep these games going ....if someone is not for you move on and find someone else who is truthful,positive,and worthy of you.
You don't want him back but they don't go away until they finally realize they have no effect on you. They still hate that they are not winning so unless you don't have to come in contact with them you will almost have to deal with them and still not be moved by anything they do. I see my ex every week at church and it does nothing to me. I feel nothing for him so it's easy to deal with him.
Let's face it: Players never change. All you can control is the way you react to the whole situation. You playing him isn't going to get him to respect you. He cares more about how situations are in his favor as opposed to who you are and how you feel. You're a game piece to him. Even if you pull one over on them you might not get them. If they cared about you they wouldn't have pulled their tactics in the first place. Your best bet is permanent no contact. Oh, you can bet that when he sees he has no control over you it'll piss him off, being your best successful self and working towards your own happiness will make him upset because it shows not everything is in his favor and you'll be happy with a new man. During the no contact, start detaching yourself and take note of the process that way you'll know what to do when you find one of these boys again.
Yeaah cutting contact is the best way. Plus a player/grown boy can change when he meets first woman to say "No" the woman who isnt like the women hes played.
the thing is how u disconnect and cut your emotional ties.if u still want the guy of course your still in the rollercoaster.cut him out completely dont even play him.your heads not in the game.your a mess.fix yourself.BUT if you can do him,play the game and flip it.use him then ditch him. now hes emotional cuz his ego and rep are in jeopardy.
Just curious why is that type of life style important to you? I suppose if meaningless sex is all you want out of life then that could be the reason. Or is it you just like the game of hunter. You will wind up alone and old sitting in a Nursing Home playing with yourself cause no one will give a rats ass. I don't understand people who like to deliberately break hearts and find that fun. Something is wrong with your heart and mind. Just saying. And yes karma does exist.
Marilyn Bradley ...YES GIRL! YOU ARE MY KINDRED SISTER.....SOME FOLKS STILL CHASING ME AFTER 10YRS..LOL....NOPE..LOLOL NOT INTERESTED THEY HAD THEIR CHANCE LOLOL
I've played them. I always ended up with feelings seeing the good in them. not enough to fall for them but enough to care about them though they are selfish egomaniacs. I recommend just walking away. They'll get their karma and it's a waste of your good energy trying to give it to them.
But if they are going to hurt other women you should play them u til they break so they don’t hurt other women. If you can, you should break them down all the way.
victoria ann zabaras look well said I have a best friend who is a player he likes me and I was like break his heart but he is different wirh me they just have to find the right women players are use to women throwing themselves when that cease to happen with one woman they are like wtf is happening
my player is the one that I fell in love with... As things progressed I realize that he was just playing me... "Not ready for a relationship" ... when I stopped trying to get his attention... He contacts me back with saying that he Loves me & I'm a beautiful, respectful, a wonderful person. it stopped me in my tracks for a moment, because I wanted to hear that from him. I thought he had really changed and wanted me to be a part of his life... But now I have to love him from a distance and keep my heart open for other men to step up that might really want to really be a part of my life. It is not something I want to do... It is something I have to do.
Oh that must have broken your heart dear lady. I feel for you, I should cause I am in that boat now. I see it has been a year since you posted your comment so hoping you have moved on and found happiness that you deserve.
You can't play someone who doesn't care. If the player doesn't give a damn about you. Why would any of this matter to them? They'll just move on to the next female.
Author Janae Marie It matters because these types can't stand to not win. Their egos make them keep trying so you sometimes have no choice but to play them the way Chazz is saying.
luulips That still doesn't make sense. A player or narcissist won't care that you're talking to someone else because they are too. They would have to value you to some extent to have been played by you. I've dealt with someone like this. I'm quite sure if I decided to stop dealing with him he wouldn't care. I actually don't think I could play him. Because I honestly don't think he'd give a damn. Unless I'm missing something on what you're saying.
Shantanell Wilder I don't understand why they would care or why it would bruise their ego if they don't care about the female. If one chick walks away they already have like five lined up. No harm. No foul on their part because they don't care about her anyway.
If you enter a relationship be sure that you know how to play the game or else you'll be the one to get played. Don't be carried away by too much emotion because you also need to use your brain for you to win the game.
love love love this video! women need to know is that once they been played- they have to emotionally disconnect but ACT like they hav feeling still. and flip it on the person that played them. use them. they are now your game piece.u dont want them anymore. ur the man chazz!:)
Honestly, I feel like trying to play a player is a recipe for getting played all over again, for the simple fact that you are putting so much emotion and energy on them. And I'm certain that even if you did burn or get them back, it won't make them stop or change, hell it probably won't even really effect them all that much. They probably will still get over it fast.
Just got played from a woman whom I was emotionally connected to. When the flame was burning at its brightest. Bam, ghosted for 2 weeks. She comes back with I met someone else. Was emotionally KO'd. Even though I won't play the player, this has helped me gain a new understanding of what happens to me. So thank you.
+katharine vann that's true. But right now I'm trying to get over a guy who played me and it's so hard I don't know what to do, but your right I don't see the point of trying to play him back
ive been there and done it all....I just realise that it is a colossal waste of tine and energy....be kind to yourself and love yourself! There are wonderful things waiting for you if you would just distance yourself from it all and that guy x
+katharine vann thanks for the lovely advice .. I'm doing my best to put distance from this guy, however we work at the same place so it makes it a bit challenging. But I just need to maintain my strength n not fall for him again
Step 1 - Accept the fact that you've been played. Step 2 - Go No Contact for a while; not to be petty or hurtful, but to get your own mind together, to regroup, to cool emotionally, so you can look at the situation logically. Step 3 - Start looking for other people to talk to. Step 4 - Reconnect with the player only to let them be your emotional dump. "Too bad things didn't work out for us." They will think that you still want them. They will believe that you want them back, and that they can keep the game going. Be aloof. Step 5 - Take little personal shots at them - about their appearance, or how they seem less than when you were together. Have fun with it. Step 6 - As you keep talking with others, just check in with the player from time, "Hey, what's up, player?" They will start realizing that they aren't gaining any ground with you.
This is very juvenile. The best way to deal with a "player" is to leave him in the sandbox to play with himself. The player is not worth your time or energy. Work on improving yourself and give your time to someone you like that is truly interested in you. Who has time to waste on a player who does not like you. The player is a non factor.
How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class 101. Devalue a players: When someone plays games they generally do it so that they can get attention and gain the upper hand in the relationship. Most people don't really care if this is negative or positive attention as long as they feel that they still have the same or greater value because to their actions. Showing a person that is playing games that they have lost value is a great way to let them see that what they are doing is negatively affecting them so that they will stop. 102. Ignoring: We often spend a lot of our time paying attention to things that make us unhappy, instead of focusing on the things that make us smile. When someone is playing games, they are generally trying to get the attention that they probably didn't get it their previous relationships. Ignoring them can show them that this does not work with you and that they will need to try another method. 103. Rewarding good behavior: We often want people to behave a certain way but often take it for granted when they do. A lot of people have been taken for granted in the past and this is why they choose to play games in the first place. Rewarding good behavior shows that once they act the way that you want them to, they will get the positive affirmation that they may not have received in previous relationships. Save 15% on the How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class with Coupon Code: stopthegames sellfy.com/p/38Eq/
This is your best video. I now fully understand this player/ target situation. I can now gauge whether I want to throw little shots or just dump on the player. I very recently had a situation where the player called me almost a year and a half later talking about "... I just wanted to say hi." He would not let me know who he was and I had completely forgotten about him. But, I was curious. He sent me little clues and I still didn't recognize who it was. I got fed up with game and told the person to stop texting me. When they wouldn't, I went into beast mode and text something horrible to him. I got a reaction and a heat filled text that jarred my memory to exactly who it was!!!!! I was so glad when I realized who it was , I was not sorry about what I had texted. He was a man that i had not dated because after several conversations i realized he was full of it and had the nerve to be condescending. I was playing a player and didn't even realize. I went to the extreme with him , after wards I felt a little guilty but when I realized ( by the words of his response.) Who it was, I was supremely happy. I dumped emotionally on him because he was being rude and that was how he had been in the past.
That was interesting and the best advice I think is the no contact. However, I can't play other people or use people. I'd rather just cut the cord, knowing that the person is just working to get me on the hook, but has no emotional connection.
I understand his logic in this however...playing games with a player is just as manipulative as them doing it to you. It's a waste of time and a distraction. Just let it go...give it to God...and move on.
@@livelafnlove1545 it was a joke... u rite 2 give it 2 god.. its jus sometimes niggas b n they feelings and wanna c da person get got rite den... I talk hella shit but I ain't doun it.. cuz feelin guilty and not being able 2 look in the mirror is a real thing. FACTS.
Truth be told “players” are honestly the best guys in the world…but let me explain because it’s kinda tricky to truly understand at first. In short-really getting a “player” to fall in love will do 2 things: it will truly show whether you really love him & most important it will make you fall in love with yourself for sure. So it can be a win-win for both parties:) These guys are charming, sweet, sexy, & confident. They appear to be every girl’s dream & they know it. BUT all of that is really just a thick armor & mask protecting what’s really inside. Deep down these are the most sensitive guys in the world. When they love they love hard & that can make them vulnerable which is more terrifying than death to them. But it’s also what they want more than anything… So they put up walls around their hearts & use barriers so that women can’t trigger their feelings. They use charm & sweet talk to maintain control, attention, validation & to get their emotional needs met without having to actually fall in love & risk getting hurt. It takes a special & patient woman who is willing to understand him, trust him & to be able to penetrate the walls gently & prove that she’s worthy of him letting her in. I find most of these guys don’t lie with the big stuff. They’ll tell you straight up they’re not looking for a relationship for one reason or another but they’re so charming that women continue to date them thinking & hoping that eventually the guy will fall in love. But that will never happen because these guys can’t fall in love with a girl that allows herself to be an “option.” They need a woman who is genuinely a game changer & who knows not only her worth but his as well & requires it from him before she commits to a relationship….& the truth is it’s always YOUR choice as a woman to decide what YOU want from HIM. That’s the real beauty that women sometimes don’t understand. The key is to see past the mask & speak to who he really is inside & turn his “game” directly around & do it to him. You need to completely open yourself up by being vulnerable & tell him exactly why you’re into him while being 100% prepared to walk away calmly when he can’t give you what you want. If your guy works on Wall St compliment how hard working he is. If he’s in the military tell him how much you admire how brave & manly he is. He has to feel what’s in your heart for his to unlock. Tell him how sexy he is..tell how good he makes you feel when he’s around you. Tell him how amazing he is in bed. Wrap your arms around him & hug him every time you see him, take him by the hand, put your head on his chest, & don’t be afraid of showing your affection. You have to stroke his ego & make him feel good. (Lots of girls think they hate this part but it’s honestly the only way to jumpstart his feelings for you…plus it’s adorable to watch how happy he gets when you compliment him:) You just want to use your emotions as an asset to make him realize that you see who is really is & how amazing you think he is…But then you also have to be extremely firm that you “don’t share well” & like him too much to not have exclusivity. Tell him you would never put yourself in a situation where you could get hurt & say goodbye with a smile :) You HAVE to walk away calmly, friendly, no hard feelings & wish him all the best if he’s not claiming you as his girl. No excuses ever!! He can’t trust, respect, or love a woman who can’t see thru his bullsh*t & require more from him. Don’t be concerned with his response when you do this…The really good “players” will respond either 1 of 3 ways. They will either say, “Ok” & pretend like they don’t care or they might just completely ignore you. Or they might be totally cool with it & wish you the best as well. Don’t react at all if he’s not showing any emotion. They are looking for you to get upset- it’s almost like a little test. Stay calm & don’t show any reaction other than being friendly & wishing him the best!! If a guys gets mad though & tries to insult you he’s not a real “player” & it shows his true character which you shouldn’t want in the first place. Even still don’t react negatively. Say something like, “awww I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m just doing what’s best for me. Best of luck :)” It’s like acting at first & seems scary but it works like magic. Most of the time this process needs to be repeated multiple times but in the process you actually see what he’s really about & whether you REALLY love him, you learn to value yourself, & it allows him to catch GENUINE feelings for you. Treat yourself as the prize by opening up to him without fear by telling him exactly why you’re crazy about him but at the same time having the smarts to walk away when he still can’t commit. He will be fascinated, in shock, & come back enchanted. **Never just believe what a guy tells you until his actions consistently match his words. & don’t be surprised if he starts distancing himself. That’s usually because he’s feeling his feelings which makes him uncomfortable. Never get upset-you’re the prize & he will come back with more intensity. Remember that you as the woman are in control. If you ever feel that he’s not being honest for whatever reason instead of getting angry or upset or stalking his social media, or going through his phone, say something like, “Hey hun. I can just feel that you’re not ready to give me what I’m looking for. I would never want to pressure you in any way but I want you 100% or I can’t have you at all. I know you understand exactly where I’m coming from… I wish you all the best always.”……And then you walk walk walk with your head held high. He can’t have a relationship with you until he proves he’s trustworthy! He will learn very quickly that you are not one that will be “played” & his respect for you will skyrocket to another level…& so will his feelings for you :) & p.s. he will come back!!! Always use your intuition but see the best in him & talk only to that part of him. The REAL man behind the armor…. But put yourself first & make him fall in love by letting him go every time he can’t give you what you want. Respect his choice & walk away nicely. It’s the walking away without drama that entices these guys-they don’t understand it & sets you apart from other women. As long as he’s attracted to you & you make him feel like no other woman does he will always come back... & he will adore you all the more for giving him the real challenge that he’s looking for. ***Oh & I almost forgot to mention- patience is key!!! These guys don’t give their hearts up easily (they talk like they do but they really don’t. They talk really smooth in the beginning when they don’t have any genuine feelings. You can’t listen to smooth talk because it means nothing…You have to go deeper to see what a guy is really about… The quieter these guys get the better it is because that means they are starting to develop real feelings - which is uncomfortable for them & makes them get a little distant…That’s actually a good thing! Let him have his space so he can figure stuff out.) When he reaches back out again & the charming smooth talk stops that’s when you know that you’re getting closer to seeing the REAL him. I think that the more masculine & stoic they are (soldiers, athletes, firefighters, alpha males, etc) the longer it takes for them to realize their feelings & trust you. You have to walk away ALOT in the beginning & sometimes they stay gone for months before they reach out again…But they always come back more genuinely & with more intensity each time. This is also the part of the process where you decide whether you are really in love with him in the first place. You are both feeling each other out in a legit, genuine way. Once he realizes that you’ve gotten into his soul he won’t fight his feelings anymore. He knows he’s home with you & he will cherish & love you like no other man ever could…..He will be your hero….& you will realize that he was worth every second of the wait :)
@ sabrina rios very well written. you have almost given answer to my every question. tell me one more thing. should i have sex with the player meanwhile? will he lose interest if i do so? or should i hold it back? what if he asks for money? who should pay for the things meanwhile? and what if he falls for another woman/women?
Mehjabin Sithi if you haven’t gave him anything don’t please don’t I can testify to everything she says she 100 percent accurate please don’t this is my current situation once you give Him your cookie he Will loose interest okay he may press for It he may push His way through But do not I repeat do not these men are use to Women flaunting at them what makes yours different I’m not being rude but they have felt every type of gential out there a lot of girls think well mines is different it will tame them No it wouldn’t they just take it and on to Another what tames them is the fact they can be handsome and smooth and you don’t even budge now a tip from my end be yourself please don’t play these games well I got to wait to text him or pick up the call on the thrift time you can do these stuff but not always switch the game up my friend who is my best friend now he is a Player he says he can never pin point me he can never figure me out they like that at times I’ll flirt and at times uninterested but I never declared a relationship I actually told him I’m scared of commitment and I am listen players are looking for reactions when your upset texting him about this and that they feel it and you just told them your true desires instead I joke to my friend saying oh you got the sauce you need to teach me I have a spirtual mother that is 98 percent accurate in her reads and her guides she told me he really really likes me and he isn’t someone with human basic common human empathy but I have convince him to come into my space time and time again even when his energy wasn’t like that it’s about being authentic being real opening up yourself you need to open yourself up so he can get to know you .. my friend is the type that doesn’t want a girl as his friend he just wants her for sex but he managed to tolerate me as his friend .. he is actually excited me he sees me and my spirtual mother tells me that and he does too before ... you got to speak to he is inside that is so true what this woman is saying he has someone in the inside and you need to learn how to connect to that person my spirtual mother said he talking to a person of interest but there is no connection as yet and he wouldn’t like her as much as me ...because of path is more deeper more innocent is pure ... I went to his house and even compose myself we were drinking I even vomit all over his house and his bed he cleaned it that was gross and he put me in the shower wirh my clothes and turn on the water and told me to bathe and put some clothes our for me I was lying in his bed most vulnerable and I know he knew I like him and he did not take advantage despite being sexually frustrates he allowed me to sleep and slept and I respected that he is a true gentleman so many guys would take advantage at the weakest moment he turn his face literally because of the respect I gave myself from the beginning and letting him know my boundaries let that be clear from the beginning don’t put none in place after the fact let him know he knew I was celibate waiting for the right man and even though he dosageee because I’m not a virgin with four kids he respected me holistically . Respect yourself and they will respect you even in the most comprising positions . Now we haven’t talked in two days I reached out and guess what he expecting a reaction don’t give him that be cool when he reaches our welcome it and say I was busy don’t complain be secure in yourself and what you have to offer to the table let him know your not afraid to eat alone to be alone let him literally know that in your conversations these woman are use to insecure woman always worried about the next woman and how he looks good and most of their target are woman that are vulnerable and insecure by heart let him know your okay and let your actions match your words .. don’t create drama like she above no player wants to come home to drama always complaining no peace he wants someone who basically worry free like ohh your not ready to give me what I need .. and make a quiet exit .. always let him think about your next move .. always be you that sweet woman ...keep your feelings in check always stay grounded mediate to do this talk to a spirtual leader if you believe in those things ... evulare the situations use logic instead of emotions to react if your upset cool off and come back to the situation with a pair of new eyes until you feel that you have reached a place of reason without emotions getting involved think about every text sent out make sure it isn’t mirroring negative emotions insecurity controlling those stuff ... this lady is right they may distance themselves from you and don’t be mad they are falling for you just understand the distance and be patience smile and be willing to always walk away
I love his disclaimer because this is too much energy for me to give someone who needs to be completely in my past aside from the lesson they taught me. I don't want anything to do with a player even if it means playing them....I rather heal quickly as possible and move on...time is everything
Dang. Crazy insightful how deep you went with that. You anaylzed the hell outta that! WOW. I agree that women really should just move on from a playa, but having been in the situation where feelings occurred, I also know it's important to gain yourself back from situations where you feel trapped into being someone's pawn. Luckily, I believe that the natural transition is just what CHaz spoke of. Eventually you move on, and the playa is once again attracted to winning. Best part though, is it doesn't matter to you - and YES, your confidence is restored...as petty as it may sound.
If I get tired of the cat and mouse game I erased the number and usually when they hit me I hit em wit da who this, usually they say Nevermind or I got the wrong number don't hear from them again or they start to explain theirselves. When they explain theirselves I lie and said you got the wrong number 😂😭 tired
Y’all need to stop misleading people my best friend is a player yes he lacks common basic empathy but when he finds the right one he settle down I say this Cause my best friend is crazy about me but I when I met him I didn’t flaunt over him like the other woman I barely replied and I still ain’t give him anything I inspired him to connect with me purely without sex over his head and he has never felt that so with being said they have to find the right woman
My thing is to cut them off and ignore them yes the player will wait it out. Psychology one has to reverse the game ignore and keep moving on. Ignore and delete their ass, get a restraining order let's see who's gonna win this immature foolish game
This feels like reverse psychology :) I can’t imagine doing that to someone. It is a very good first person perspective on how a player sees the person that they are playing. Awesome 😎
1. Accept you've been played. 2. Go no contact for a while. 3. Start talking to some other dudes. 4. As you start liking someone else Start talking to the player again. 5. Emotionally dump your hurt feelings onto them. So that youll be more aloof when with the New Guy, which will make you more attractive. Because ur mind is still a little on the player. 6. Take small shots at the player. Little insults here and there. 7. As things move forward with you and the other people you are talking to, just stop calling thé player. Then use them as needed. When you are on breaks ect.
Thank you for the video, you always have great advice! In this case, the roles are swapped, but then you become the player. Which like you said, it’s a moral call that you’re not making, just giving people options! I respect it either way. As a woman, I think it would be hard not to catch feelings for the player again if you entertain their company at all. For me, I think ghosting them for real and not looking back was my best bet. Being happy and cutting off any and all energy really sparks the interest of these psychopaths. A psycho should be treated to the “smile, nod and run” treatment
I've actually done all this stuff to an ex boyfriend over 5 years ago. I didn't learn it from anywhere. I just listen to and followed my intuition (my gutt). It came naturally.
wow! I have been already doing it without knowing it was an strategy to play the player!!! Thank you for your videos, they have been very helpful to me.
wow just saw your post on HOW TO PLAY A PLAYER THANK -YOU SO MUCH i have been in tears and bed did't want to live OMG YOU HIT IT ON THE YES I HAVE BEEN PLAYED ! GOT OUT IF BED ON GOING THREW ON TABLET LOOKING FOR ANSWER and found you you hit it on the nose for EVERY THING YOU SAID WAS TRUE , I WILL DO EVERYTHING YOU SAID NOW I I A PLAN (FOR ME) ! HE LIVES IN ENGLAND ! ME ON A BUS TRIP TO CALIFORNIA RUSH ME FOR A DATE TO COME AND VISIT CAME 5 MONTHS LATER THAN HERE IT REALLY STARTED CAME MARCH 2015 2WKS LED ME ON NOE HE IS GETTING MARRIED BUT SAYS SHE DON'T MIND IF WE STILL KEEP IN TOUCH !!! WHAT! ! HE DOESN'T know i know who he is marrying , the girls real name he lied so now i will do like you said get myself back THANK YOU AGAIN GOD BE WITH YOU
This video is the only thing that has helped me get over my ex the player. Smart and secure as I am I always treated him as I wanted to be treated but never ever though of using him as an emotional dump to rid the frequency and move on.....very smart sir :)
smh...this is too funny. Thank you. I needed this cuz I landed in the driver seat and didnt even realize the control I had...now that I do...know I am gonna have fun wit it.
I will tell you why this Chaz is DIFFERENT. CHAZ sticks his neck out and does what every Dating /Relationship book/ video in The World. does Not do- He gives perspective from. WOMAN'S point of view. This is Truly a FIRST. ( I dont know if anyone else ever noticed this when browsing bookshops )
Right trying to play a player is a waste of time .The best advice you can give ppl is to just leave them alone and be happy . ✌ Their so not worth it , bt i get what you saying aswell that if they just must play them back you know how to do it.
Chazz is absolutely right. I've done what he's saying and it works. I'm so turned off by the player now YUK!!! Especially after I saw some of the type of women he's started picking up. He has gone down hill so horribly. Sad. I don't call him or anything unless he's driving the church van. I see him in church all the time and I can tell he still tries to pull me in in stupid ways. So sickening.
Hmmmm. I dunno. If you need to do all that just to prove that you're winning then are you really winning? Surely the best way to win is to see how it happened and ensure it can't happen again. I can see the logic in the method you're describing but that's for someone who wants the player to know that "heyyy you didn't really hurt me cos lookit I'm OK". Since most players display sociopathic tendencies, they'll see through what you're doing and could even end up playing you again! The best thing? Kick them to the kerb mentally and get on with creating a wonderful life. Because as sure as there's a sky, they WILL come back round and when they do you want to be in a position where you can look them up and down and say thanks but no.
Janae Marie But you're making it and you've seen him for the person he is. He can't hurt you again but the hurt he's already caused will take time to heal. But know that you are healing and even though it may sting, it's a good thing. The worse alternative would be to be so hurt that you couldn't feel a thing. People who can't feel are usually the ones who end up hurting others. So you are on your way sis. Good luck and keep going.
The thing is ; a player, liar or cheater first has to play, lie or cheat themselves before it is imposed on anyone else - they play themselves first & foremost. The key is to Observe and vet better before picking anyone to engage with in the first place
