I WISH YOU READ THIS: I read on Robert Greens books " the different from a victim and a true victim is that a true victim is almost ashamed of being victim and a manipulative victim will keep on telling you they are a victim.
About having a serious face expression when someone disrespects you. It's crazy how narcissists are trying to make you laugh at yourself while they verbally abuse you. That's why. Cause if they manage to train you to laugh at the abuse you're basically killing even the last ounce of your self respect. I never realized this before. This is genius tbh.
Yup mine trained me to laugh at the jokes he made about my body etc I actually use to laugh.. then it turned into ignorant comments about my body and privates during arguments. So true.
I like that this helps prevent disrespect from jump. I’m a kind, caring, and hardworking person. So I tend to take on a lot before I’m like, “ok time to switch s**t up”. Then I get all the love and respect in the world. However, I hate getting to that point and have been searching on how not to reach that level of anger. I definitely will be using this knowledge… Super helpful 👏
@@Demi1369 I always let the person know. for each step so they have a chance to change their pattern before it hits three. builts great communication and boundaries☺ I'm glad you like it.
In ANY relationship be ready to walk away if things are completely detrimental to your mental health or anything else...disrespectful and unthinking behaviors are a red flag. People don't change easily.
People allow satan to use them to disrespect people.. that's when I distance myself because they no longer operate as a human but a willing vessel for the devil
I don’t see how “licking your a** “ or cooking you dinner naked is showing that the person actually wants to do different. Needing someone to “submit” by decreasing their own self respect (by licking your a** or cooking while naked and demeaning their own self) is not showing effort, it shows a tendency to want to be abusive. (Sure codependent people who are have felt slighted alot have alot of anger, but making someone disrespect themself doesn’t show they are willing to come to the relationship genuinely and such anger should not manifest as abuse/submitting another human being.) asking people to show that they are willing to do things that PROVE they are coming genuinely like honesty, is more important. The kind of woman who will allow themself to be abused or submit to debasing demands is not the type of woman you want. Don’t demean or debase women as “punishment” or as a way for them to “prove” themselves. Seek for them to prove themselves in ways like openness, going to therapy, honesty, (in your case, enforcing a probation period where you ask her to engage with you for weeks on end and NOT block you-I don’t think this girl is interested in you though so better to try this tactic with someone who is not cheating with another man)
He ain't lying. Don't get manipulated because they will try to play games and keep a friendly distance as a form of distraction so they don't have to endure punishment or accountability 💯💯💯💯
Something similar happened to me with the Carlton. A friend approached and didn’t even greet me just started asking for help. I said calmly “good morning”. They looked puzzled and was like “oh good morning!” Ever since then, they come correct.
I have dealt with being disrespected by my parents my whole life and years ago, my dad, his wife and my siblings had crossed the line and I calmly blocked all of them for over two years, no warning, no explanation. They knew what they did. I eventually went to a family party where they were and their respect level was was thru the roof. It has been years, and they are still very respectful toward me and my children although I am still fairly distant.
I have block my family for years on several occasions. They just don't care so I permanently keep a far distance. I live in Indiana and they are in Florida 😊
Ex called me pathetic, embarrassing, ignorant and a disappointment. Also told me my feelings were garbage. Understand I'm non of those things and I'm actually an successful entrepreneur. Loner had attachment issues so I stayed. However I know I deserve better. I asked for an apology was told f u. So yep... I choose myself. My healing and not Attracting this same love from another soul. Moving On. Stay Strong.
The chemistry is so good because it was toxic, we’ve all been there Alex.. the only mistake you made was even thinking about ‘if she wants to make it up to me’ lol, like you say people don’t change. These things/people are meant to challenge us for personal growth, use it as a lesson. Love these videos when you’re so transparent thank you 🙏 and happy new year 🥳
You're doing amazing work father Alex. Your advice in this video applies to all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. PS. The irony in that Will Smith clip is too real.
i like to make myself small to see who the fkers are, you find out character very quickly .. grt way to get the measure of someone and therefore move away from asap
Degradation of anyone is a Major 🚩 Taking a person who is trying to heal and asking them to do a degrading thing for you is some twisted stuff right there. That’s so messed up. I’m glad for her that you blocked eachother.
Damn. I ain’t even finishing the video. I’m 18 minutes in. When will I learn to never give men the benefit of the doubt 🤣 she sounds toxic for sure but fucking hell, the answer isn’t to become a coercive rapey dude
Okay alex, the minute she said she has a homeless ex i wouldve blocked her. It says a lot about her standards and self worth that she would go as low as deal with a man that can do nothing for her.
@@MindfulAttraction2.0 oh hell no! Lol, the type of men a woman deals with says a lot about their standards. She's lame. She should've dumped the bum and kept you. You're ambitious and going places in life.
You weren't in a relationship so you were both just non stop playing games with each other. I assume you both were seeing other people the whole time. So the whole ass licking stuff is just ego and toxic.
I loved this SO much! I am Sarah “the white girl”, who needed to hear this! I had the same thing happen to u with that girl happen to me! I have been SO mad and aggressive lately and I am normally the nice sweet white girl and I thought something is wrong with me now (for being angry), but this made me feel soo much better.
U dont have to be nice all the time anger is another emotion that humans feel...but don't stay in that tho u can feel that but becareful with it and don't stay in that energy...u are attractive as nice girl as u are...people be wanting to take that from u because it makes u beautiful and attractive 😉
Good for you for saying enough is enough. Don't even let her lick your arse. Having borderline personality disorder, disrespect is rejection. Rejection leads to splitting. I go from being sweet to the coldest person you've ever met. People then jump loops for my forgiveness. Punishments don't feel good though.
But if you never tell people your boundaries and preferences. They deserve communication before you express anger towards them. In the form of a request to start.
Wow. As a life of being an overly nice lovergirl who’s been WAY too vulnerable and loving and tolerant of disrespect and disgusting behavior hoping that others will love as much as me, it has gotten me nowhere but stepped on heartbroken played manipulated so on. SO fckn glad I found this channel can’t ty enough
Change your ways don't be something different than who u are tho u attractive the way u are but there are boundaries certain behaviors u do not have to accept...reel it back 🤗
*You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.*
Super valid points. This is is a highly informative video and I'm taking this into my life going forward but I know for a fact that this is why I have no friends (and why I also have more male friends). I don't operate on a level where I'm keeping score, or feel like I have to "work" for someone to respect me so I immediately cut people off. I'll hold in everything (people pleaser) till I burst. I grew up being taught that manners and politeness is key so if someone shows a hint of a red flag or act oblivious to behaviours I deem as "common sense" - I'm out. It's something I'm really grappling with right now - loving people conditionally versus giving them grace. Which is a crazy contradiction because I'm married and can give my husband grace lol... we can both be mean sometimes, and we work through it but I don't have that patience for friendships? It's weird :/ I should really inspect this.
I love this video and found it really informative. When you break down video examples, it would really help if you let them play more before you interjected and explained. The constant pausing is distracting. Again, loved the content and I hope you consider the suggestion.
If u could do some examples that would be helpful too. On a regular I don’t feel like I want to manipulate people, or get revenge or harbor spite, etc….i just want to be happy, joke around & make money. I also grew up in a highly narcissistic environment …so *I can* see the manipulation, but I guess I’m partially addicted to the highs & lows of it too. Plus I know all about manipulation etc In family dynamics, but I was so busy with that I never looked into romantic relationship dynamics. I just don’t know if my reactions to disrespect are too much & then it’s going to make me feel weaker than I’d feel by not responding at all, but then I wonder if I’m tripping & will start feeling bad & hangout with them after a while of ignoring them. Some people you can’t stop from being around, like your child’s other parent. I really think the man,”trapped me” & don’t get me wrong I love my son & would go through his father’s b.s. again solely for my sons existence. It’s just fuc*in weird & I wish folks wouldn’t play so much, *I* want peace in my life instead of worrying if someone’s messing with my head bc they derive power from others emotions (which is actually weak af if u can’t give yourself that powerful feeling & u actually *need* these people to manipulate to feel anything, but ok, let’s go with,”strength”) Ugh it sucks!
@@katrinabrown3561 thank u! I’ve seen a few and about to start again, plus there’s so much on RU-vid which is helpful. I’m just realizing I need to focus on relationships other than family of origin
Sorry but she told you this Ex is controlling and sbusive And to leave her in his hands Cause your ego is Hurt Is not Love! I hope she could tell her Side
I’m curious, have you ever considered you knew from the start she had red flags but in some ways you self sabotage cause your use to the toxicity? I mean this with respect. I find many of us are wise but trap ourselves in this pattern till we break it.
Using anger for revenge is alright if you use it well. If you break down the person who disrespected you, you actually get your self-respect back. It doesn't matter if it's by hook or by crook, your brain can't tell the difference.
does ghosting for no reason and coming back and acting like nothing's happened counts as disrespect? I'm confused asf, i acted cold and he did nothing abt it :/
May I please ask… does anyone know what mic he is using outside in this video ? I really need a mic I can use with my iphone for videos 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 does anyone have anyone suggestions ?
You’re real and in truth. I love examples of personal experiences you can draw from and explain it. Right we’re nice ppl and it must be under control. The worst is taking ppl shit big mistake ever, lol. Conquer the dragon slowly thinking always.
This video is truly amazing!! Thank you so much. I had a really rough week and I’ve been listening to you for 5 hours today while mulching my front yard. You are turning my whole attitude around.
I am 35 and I wish I had these self help videos in my first and second marriage in my twenties. Life has taught me❤ Much love to y'all nice people but please let them lick your tail dirty because folks will treat you like dirt and yes disgust is the correct answer. I am glad I just don't even date anymore because why are people this messed up 😂🤦🏽♀️Salute to this content creator🫡!
How much you want to bet she was voluntarily with that dude the whole time. You seem to be in denial about her role in it. She was not actually a victim, so this story is even darker
@4:37 it's Not about weak, it's about being indoctrinated a lot of times. Eg. I was brainwashed for 4.5 yrs, it became me, and it's sooo hard to get back to base!
dude this is soo helpful. My sister has been acting kind of rude lately. She didn't use to be like this and I simply started to respond to her by joking rudely back to her but I think just showing anger with my face would be more powerful
Works much better, not on everyone. I had someone where Id stop talking every time he'd be rude, id just read the messagw and be gone. It didn't help a lot but at the end the person was so angry when I let them talk they showed me something that finally made me block them for good (like he exposed himself for stalking me and taking videos with no premission). So it doesn't help always to teach them how to act,but might expose them even more 😮
I get told a lot I scare people where I stare at them and not utter a word😂😂😂true, I even scare myself when I see my face (especially my eyes) in a mirror when I feel disrespected. Ion play that nonsens€ 🥶
Bro. This was on my recommended and I hoped you’d be decent, so I gave it a chance. No unsubscribe needed. You cannot use sexual shit as a punishment. You just can’t. People are gonna judge you dude but all you have to do is learn from it and not repeat it. She won by bringing out the dog in you. Never let yourself sink that low again. Once you get into SA type stuff you become the type of dude no self-respecting woman wants to be alone with. Please hear the women telling you this because the normal mode of operation is to just let predators tell on themselves and say nothing. People are bringing this to your attention because they want to think you can rise above it. I’m VERY glad y’all stayed away from each other.
I was always punished for showing any kind of own will or negative emotion, so I'm really struggling to keep boundaries with people. Not to mention punishing them for disrespect.
Much needed Alex thanks so much. What’s crazy is today earlier I picked up the law of human nature and started reading it on my break before I came across this video. Must be for collective!
Thanks for this comment brave _heart.. How are you finding the book? I’ve had my eye on it for a few years, but I’ve read a lot of “self help” books that weren’t as helpful as they claimed… LoL!! I think I’ll take a chance though, Robert Greene is pretty good ~
I was sucked in by a smoooooth talker. His actions weren't congruent with his words. I learned the hard way and it hurt bad. He also didn't have the capacity to take personal responsibility.
I must look easy to people. A lot of people brag about having a dark side. I was raised in a narcissistic family, and I brought my narc parent to tears. When I attack back, I don't try to win for an audience, I try to destroy your self image, so that it never recovers. Then, people try to make it look like I'm the bully or make the guilt 50/50. No, I don't let them have that comfort. I am actually mostly dark side. I try my best to seem normal and be a good person, but I'm a fighter. I wish it weren't the case. Still funny, though. The more they try to backpedal, the worse I get. They think they'll get out of it that way, but now they're being easy.
16:47 you "let" ? it happen (??) It was HER place which SHE was paying for..she can make any decisions for her place that she wants. Especially since you stated you two weren't in a relationship.
@16:17 and respect! @16:23 Sheraven7 says let them buy something lol she makes me laugh! I always feeling she so harsh, but males are wayyy harsher to females in the millions, compare females received treatment to general males received treatment! 🧐
I wish you would have talked about how to apply these strategies in a feminine way because it’s more difficult to be in touch with the aggressive side without looking ugly as a woman.
Sounds like she was in a toxic weak situation. It sucks us girls are so naive and manipulated or insecure can make us not care about people even though we make that decision. But thank you for not bashing her for being in that situation.
