I've always battled with social anxiety, and many of the things I've learned in these body language videos is that I realized I sometimes default to some of these body languages like arm crossing and mouth covering while genuinely being authentically 'myself'. It opened my eyes to see how some of my default body language such as mouth covering could be seen as deceptive when I'm actually being authentic. It also made me realize to be careful of how things appear, and also to be wary that some of these body languages in others could also be their own form of social anxiety. Since learning this stuff, I am trying to be more conscious of some of my default body language and how it could come across as.
Agreed! I too suffer terrible social anxiety, so I often give out wrong signals due to just being uncomfortable around people. I am also watching Vanessas videos to try and help myself change this. ☺
You may find Joe Navarro’s videos on body language to be much more informational. He’s a former FBI body language specialist and he debunks basically what she is saying in her video about crossing her arms and stuff. That’s actually a normal human comfort response and doesn’t mean what is being said in this video.
I had a sociopath in my team and she wreaked havoc and turned the entire team against me. When I confronted her, she acted very innocent and I almost believed her because she gave good explanations for everything I asked. Then I stopped paying attention to what she was saying and focused more on her facial expressions because I had recently read your book captivate.. and yes, I was able to see through her lies because her facial expressions did not match and then a caught a minute facial expression which shocked me...and that's I found out who was sabotaging the team because up until then I didn't know who was speaking the truth and who was lying.. we removed her from the team and things have been good for the past year.. thank you Vanessa.. I owe you !!
For me, the one thing I would add around the second one is, I personally, will cross my arms while talking to someone. For me it is not to close a person off as I am invested in what they are saying, it's because I suffer from chronic pain. It's my way of physically dealing with the pain I am curranty feeling during a conversation. I might also cross my arms if I'm feeling exhausted, like I'm trying to hold up my body to stay focused on the conversation. Of course this is while I'm standing for the conversation.
So many of these behaviors can be caused by social anxiety, be careful when interpreting what they mean in other people! If you have social anxiety yourself, it can help to be aware of the signals these behaviors send even if you struggle to not do them.
No, you misunderstand this and the work she is really doing. Vanessa is teaching us how to be more in tune with the people and environment around us, so we can make better decisions about what we want to do.
Body language must have convicted many innocent people...people supposedly educated in this grevious misjudgement will have glorified themselves in their accusations
I'm on the autistic spectrum and this series of videos that you put together have explained everything that I always wished I had known. You are making a difference in the world. Please, continue to help us.
I love Vanessa! I have learnt so much from her. She is such a marvelous giver of herself and the information she wants us to learn - and she doesn't seem to be forever saying, "Give me, give me, give me.....this only costs.......".
Vanessa is very smart and very good at this. I need to watch a lot more of her videos, for several reasons. 1. To more understand people and life around me today. 2. To understand what people are communicating to me, which is not always what they are saying, it's not just me, this is how people interact with so many others today. 3. To better understand the direction I want to go and why in different situations faster.
I can read that your coworker has a slight crush on you and that he is mildly insecure about himself, which explains his overly cautious approach to how he presents himself. There is a hint of nervousness emanating from him due to his unfamiliarity with being recorded while having to follow a specific script (what he is supposed to do, the list he has to follow, and on).
FYI the auditory canal angles up ..so tilting your head aligns the "tube" or "canal" to the source... so I believe it's a combination of that and your attention...
I have also noticed that when a person becomes uncomfortable about what they are hearing they will pick up their glass and drink. You must pair that one with the context of the discussion but I always notice this.
Eyebrow raise is wrong. When you're speaking to someone and you raise your eyebrows, this is made to get more attention from the listener, to what you are saying. not the opposite as she says. it's basic and she is wrong there. Americans are super expressive. In other cultures, if you are listening and paying attention to something you find more interesting during the conversations you close your eyes a tiny bit to focus better but don't raise the eyebrows.
I hear and see this a lot solid stuff, but in my case when i close up cross my arms is when i'm really comfortable and ready to listen carefully to something more interesting than usual 🤷🏻♂️, i prefer to examine the face cause he is crossing arms but his facial expressions and how he reacts and what he says doesn't show nervousness or faking, still taking this into account cause i can misread what's happening.
Hi Vanessa, how do you get an emotional connection with a woman? You are so right, I am that kind of guy who lacks the experience of talking with women. Shy and lacking confidence! 😢
Becasreful with this, its not all true. I have adhd and many of the topics do not match with certain people. You will exclude or miss read many people and could cause more harm than trying to read someone. I know of stories that people were discredited ignored and resulted in a fatality. I have met thousands of people in my life. And there needs to be further research into this.
Note: Resutled in dead meaning the person tried to warn the others but they blew him off because his actions made it questionable that he was lying, so they got in the car to prove he was wrong and they crashed and the front passenger has died. Driver was jailed. Found the gard way that blinking eyes do not indicate a lie- all The time. True story
Saw the part online about RBF ... I have something to share! Getting a small injection of Botox in my DAO (depressor anguli oris) muscle on each side of my mouth was a game changer! It neutralizes the mouth by temporarily weakening the muscle that causes the mouth to turn down on each side. In my own personal experience, I found my overall mood seemed elevated and I felt friendlier.
Great information. I've subscribed and seen some of your videos on studying human behavior and there's so much to learn. Grateful for your knowledge. Can I suggest though for you to talk slowly sometimes and not to mumble your words, as if you are in hurry to finish your sentence. It sounds more like a teenager talking (I have 2). My apologies to comment about this but I can't help but notice. And I think as a communicator and an advocate for human behavior, conveying your idea in an understandable way is very important especially when you have a vast number of followers from different walks of life. Thank you Vanessa.
That first one about shame: I'd argue that we do that as much as a social cue than anything else and that some people may ONLY do it as a social cue and not do it if they don't want others to know of their shame.
I've always been quite good at reading people but this really helped me and I realized that I do some of these and that i should be more cautious when it come to body language so thank u
It really thrills me to see adorable women like you with such an amazing smile, i really would love to learn more about you but if you dont mind for to be friend request thank you 🇪🇬❤️👍😉🌹
Yet her legs stay crossed and closed off the entire time. Which either means 1. She's relaxed.. based on other body language signs.. 2. She's closed off.. based off online (Negative body language signs)