How to Relieve the Stress of Caring for an Aging Parent: Amy O'Rourke at TEDxOrlando 

Can relate brother, wish you all good, hope you find space for your own mind. A big hug from Portugal 🇵🇹 🙏🙏

@@tiagobjesus Thank you sir 🙏 I'm so out of it I was at the market yesterday and wondered why all these flags on cars everywhere 🇵🇹 ⚽️😄

@@chrislim7976 Portuguese people are a proud people my friend, we love our country as much as cats love catnip. True story lol im a stranger but if you ever need to talk brother, let me know and I'll definitely listen 👂🙏🙌

@@tiagobjesus 🙏

I’m in the same boat friend. 82 year old father losing physical, mental and now financial faculties. Most stressful period of my life right now

God bless you abundantly. You are in my prayers.

I hug you from distance, truly hope you can find someone to give you all the love you deserve

Sending you all my love, you are what they call an Angel on earth 💖

It's good of you to do that but you need to make sure you are ok too. Caregiving is really brutal and unhealthy in the long term. I'm living it.

I have tears rolling down my face. You are incredible.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :( I hope you can get your life back and be financially stable.

You are a lovely mother, that truly loves their children. God bless you!

Wow. I wish my mom was like that. She is taking my whole life away from me and making me feel guilty for even bringing up putting her in assisted living.

Ditto

And she put her life aside to care for you when you was a child so.. ​@@wordswordswords8203

@@wordswordswords8203 Same here.

Sy Hussaini I hope that this season of your life passes and you will have time alone with your husband to “enjoy” your life....it’s okay to miss the time you could of had. It’s even more okay to enjoy your life without the worry and stress of caring for others. Just thought u should know that.

you are a hero, sir. you don't give up or abandon anyone. inspirational.

You did a great job. I can’t take it anymore.

I loved caring for my dad & now my mom. Living together is our normal. It's what families used to do without thought of another way. Multigenerational living is making a huge rebound! As a Dementia Caregiver Coach, End of Life Doula and Alzheimer's Advocate why would I EVER teach others to care for their loved ones at home and allow a peaceful death there and not do it for my parents.

Good for you. Truly inspiring!

@R I - I totally understand your situation because I live it. You feel trapped, because their caregiving needs always trump yours. Nothing satisfies my Mom right now. She’s a sweet person, but totally self centered. My wife and I are constantly on guard that the next crises is right around the corner. Our lives revolve around her care needs 24/7.

Im in the exact same boat as you. And just like you I also feel alone and trapped with no one to help take the edge off. So I totally feel ya.

Tell your siblings to take their turn. Living in another country is no excuse. You need a break. They can fly her to them to live or at the very least they can spend their vacation weeks living in your home so you can get regular breaks.

I'm also going through this experience without understanding ,lost my community life,mission but thanks be to God friends also call me

Please take advantage of what resources you can! Is she eligible for disability?

Same, I'm 19 years old and planning ahead of the time when I won't panic and stress over "How to do? What to do" type of questions if my parents get really old. I'm studying, learning to do household chores well and working online so I can support and help them in every single way. :) Also practicing meditation and stuff so that I will be very slow to anger and frustration because it's really gonna be hard in the future. But it's worth every effort. May our parents live long and have a healthy, happy life with us. ❤️

I've been my mothers primary caregiver for almost 5 years now. The best advice I can give you is to learn about the services offered by your local or state department of human services (if you're in the USA) and involve them early in the process. Particularly the details related to if/when your parent can't be cared for at home any longer. It's complex and EXPENSIVE! I neglected to do this before the situation turned into a crisis and it's my biggest regret. Good luck.

Most importantly, start saving now for your retirement and accept their retirement will look the way they prepared for.

I would recommend that you start by having open conversations with them about it.

You are Indeed a super hero, That was really good of you my friend.

I’m in your same boat. Respect you. I’m trying to do the same!

Really I am going through the same phase

My dad is in the advanced stages of Parkinson’s now. Don’t have to tell you how stressful that is. Glad to read a comment like yours especially during days when you wanna give up

I am getting burned out overseeing my mother’s care in asst. living with Parkinson’s disease. Already taken her to 7 doctors appt. this month, she doesn’t get around well & her room is a mess at the facility. I am EXAUSTED taking care of her laundry, getting her diapers etc. My brother won’t even drop by to see her & say “hello”, he lives in the area. My life isn’t the same, I am raising two teenage sons & married, this sucks I can tell you honestly it sucks, I cannot take her in or quit my part time job either. I HATE this!! I hope I die first before becoming a burden on my sons!!

Yep Yolanda ...taking care of 2 abusers due to a sense of duty. They dont even try to help with their grandkids

I think it depends on the person, honestly. But I do see your point.

The people giving you their opinions can always choose to go and visit or do some of what you are doing. They can help just like you can. I'm sure you have asked them by the sounds of it. If you haven't recently, ask them for help again. Since they care so much to offer their advice on what you should be doing. I find the best way to quiet the crowd is to ask them to do something.

Sometimes asking is not enough. Some people ask, even beg for help and never get any. Sometimes you just end up going crazy over it all. @@TVResults

I would love to listen to your TED talk. V powerful story.

Obviously the woman knows of the most difficult situations, and had no way to cover all that in under 15 minutes. There's a lot more on her own YT channel, I see.

I already commented above to someone else on this particular aspect of the issue, but generally I found this talk mostly useless when you are in the middle of the situation.

I thought the same thing after listening to it.

You are a blessed soul for taking care of all these people and I agree with your doctor, you do need to keep caring for yourself or you won't be able to care for anyone else soon. Everyone needs to find their own way of caring for themselves but having emotional support is key, do you have enough of that ?

I feel for you. It is exhausting working & worrying on your own & you will need to grieve this time. I do hope you have respite & reclaim your energies for new pastures.

Hi i understand moms 83 and im caregiver!

Hi Chelle, I don’t know if you are still reading comments, but as a stranger I just wanted to send you a little light and love. 💕

I'm with you

@@robertdavidson9393 i am also my mom is 83

sorry to hear that...i am single 36yo taking care of my parents.... not that i was so determined to get married but then it sucks that i now dont even have the chance... i am constantly sad, depressed and angry..... God, pls help us all...

There need to be more options, affordable options, for families dealing with this. Given your mom’s age and condition, that would be a situation that warrants her being cared for in a nursing home.

I’m sorry sometimes when people take over our lives it’s best to let them go.

Wow that is bad. I'm in a very similar situation. If I can't get my elderly mom out of my house I think I am going to die. I have so many health problems now and I feel like I am going completely insane.

My Father's got dementia and is getting a narcissistic kick that I'm a Bachelorette at 49 w/no kids.

God bless you. Not easy.

Specially the mother in laws who treated you so badly when she was the bossy person. Now in her 80s she still wants to boss you around and you have to take care of her. You remember all the mean stuff she said and did.

gosh i cannot imagine.. i am single but my parents are also financially dependent on me as well....i am angry about that...and just feel really depressed....😭

Wow. That is not good. I hope you can get some help.

♥️

Jessie dear- I will keep you in my prayers” And may God Continue to grant you the health and courage to go from your strength to Strength!.”

Can you get any help in any way with it. You're too young to be saddled with this and for how many more years? I'm a caregiver too. Yeah, we can love our parents but caregiving can still destroy your life and health. Take care. Really sit and think about what you need for you life to be ok.

@@wordswordswords8203respectfully, telling someone they’re “too young” to be going through this is very hurtful and unhelpful. They may genuinely not have any help.

My dad is 74 and still strong..

You speak the truth... What you are going thru is the same thing I 'am going thru ..So many people are fast to give you advice.... put they will not lift a finger to help... You don't have a life and this goes on 24/7... Know that I 'am living this life.....I think 🤔 that it's not for everyone.....

Ditto about the Vacation plans. I had to cancel many because there is always a crises with my widowed Father who's in his late 70's isn't accepting the realities of his living situation and laughs that I'm the Sole caretaker while his side of family and relatives are on the sidelines sadistically entertained by the situation. None of them (his relatives)care to ever visit my Father just keep tabs over the phone.

14:31 yes. I get this. Two hours of looking up videos and typing questions like how do I get through this and finally someone writes something I can relate to.

Wow im so sorry

♥️

Right? I needed her to address the stress we caregivers go through.

i'm numb inside and looking for ways to manage

My heart goes out to you. It’s tough. I’m sure they all appreciate you very much. Sending love and strength, and I hope you have some respite and time for yourself too.

Same here a none verbal 3 year old and an autistic 19 year old plus my 79 year old diabetic mother with dementia… there are days when I feel blessed then there’s days that I hate my life. I know it’s a strong word … but that’s truly how I feel at times. I love my children more than life but mother is hard to love at times. But I always think of the times I had no one else she was always there for me. That keeps me going. And I refuse to let anyone else do what I can. ❤️

Stay strong your not alone!! ❤️❤️❤️

@@perlahamilton6314 sending you a huge hug.

🤧My Father's is the same way. His personality drastically changed for the worse. Gives me cold looks. Periodically verbally spits out some really off the wall stuff. Eats and acts like a toddler with temper tantrums and stubbornness.

I hear you I'm going through the same situation. I'm 67 taking care of my 96 y.o. Mom. I want to enjoy my retirement and my life but I can't. You'll be in my prayers

i am 36 caring for my parents at 60s and 70s.... very unhappy right now.....😭 my parents dont let me go and meet friends for the past 3 years, because they are reallly scared that i may catch covid and pass onto them... my mid 30s gone....😭

Set boundaries and you can move out or there is placement

​@@youngkim5515Two years later, how are you??

Hello, 2 years later how are you today?

can we talk. i need solution.

C Liberty - I am 56 and have an 87 year old mother who is slowly succumbing to dementia. I live with her and I find my life now consists of shadowing her every activity. Among other things she leaves taps on in the bathroom sometimes with the pug still in. I now have to put her medication into her mouth and spoon feed her meals. She can just about still toilet herself. But there are frequent unpleasant problems. My sister urges me to put her into a care home. I am despairing at the moment. Caring for an aged parent is challenging enough. But once they have lost their minds it becomes impossible.

C Liberty Hi, consider yourself lucky you don't have them both living with you, you are blessed, you can leave them and go home. Be grateful at least for that.

C Liberty, I did the same thing with my parents. Boundaries are everything!

Totally understand. I exercise every morning before mom wakes up. Seems to help.

This is hard. You should try to relax yourself. All we can do is let it pass. Take care. Do meditation. May all beings be at peace.❤

@@SleepGoodyall thank you x

Please know you are not alone going through this. Your comment tugged at me deeply cause I do relate what you are dealing with. All we can do is one day at a time and remind ourselves, that this too, shall pass. ❤

I know! My mom was always controlling and perfectionist and often said cruel things when I was a child. Much of that behavior is still present (I'm 62!) Now I have to constantly remind myself that she is sick (dementia) and I need to be understanding. It is really , really difficult. Sending positive thoughts and prayers.

You deserve better than that. Try to start finding an alternate place for her to live. YOU deserve the RIGHT to have a decent life. Don't wait until you're too old to enjoy a few years of freedom from her.

its not about toxicity, its about the diseases and differnt thinking that comes with aging, like alzheimers.

Both is exhausting. However, taking care of self is important.

@@100anti Hard to do when they demand attention 24/7 and refuse to let others help.

Totally agree. It is the most difficult thing in the world.

Helping our parents certainly makes us take a look at what we want as we age. Have you done a personal health directive and/or talked with your family about what you want? So many of us delay this. (Including me.!). eek....maybe I'll get on that.

mirka narika I kinda see how you could believe that.

It would be helpful to your family to put it in writing--advance directives, living will, etc

I will be 64 in a few weeks. I am in fantastic shape. I cycle 120 plus miles every week and I do pull ups, chin ups, dips and leg raises every single day. Seems to help. Have always lived an active life. If I become ill and get into a situation where I cannot take care of myself...my wife knows what she has to do.

Patty Dixon d

I thought it was lousy advice. When your elderly parents are sitting in their home, with a busted plumbing pipe spewing water all over their carpet, while they sit at the table eating breakfast - just ignoring the living room filling up with water - it takes the kid becoming a parent to get things under control.

I feel exactly the same, recently it's all that I think of.

@@TMADstudio Please take breaks and ask for help. This kind of care is mental abuse to yourself. You must spend enough time on yourself not to lose yourself in this.

@@chrislim7976 thanks. I’ve asked family for help multiple times. They refuse it there’s always an excuse. I had to enlist Nurse on Call services and get my parent a therapist to hopefully give them an outlet other than myself for complaining to.

You are a champion as a 24/7 carer I know how hard the path you are on can be, we run faster than needed because we have to get everything done, an to out run the fire that's trying to burn us out of this battle. Keep fighting my friend you are not alone on this battle field there are many of us. God bless you 💛

My mom scares me because my brother installed one of those voice-communication systems in this new house... I would be in the kitchen trying to de-stress and she would say my name suddenly and I would jump out of my shoes. She literally takes up 1/2 to 3/4 of my day every single day. Honestly, you just gotta put your foot down and ask someone else to step in and help out.

Okalani5000 I’ve come to the place where I just give her whatever she wants and go out to the garage and work out and watch videos. You’ve got to have some space or you’ll go nuts! But yes, the demands can be overwhelming. My own mental health has improved, since I abandoned arguing over what’s good for her with her. I just give her meds to her and say , I’m going out to the garage, goodnight.

Lol you know it. @@noneyabusiness5222

Im in the similar situation with my mother and have some of the same feelings ......pls tell me some ways to cope...everything i do seems to burry my emotional state deeper in a hole

You have helped so many others, like myself, who are going through similar pain by sharing your struggles. You are so brave!

Amen.

Well said!

It's her JOB.

I have cared for many elderly family members. I'm currently living with and caring for my mother in her home. Never is a long time. There are situations where caring might require a different setting. I HOPE it never comes to that.

GL with that. They get spoiled like a kid does.

Janice Bowman It’s tough overwhelming tough!

I literally train families to allow the loved ones to stay in a loving home. However, there are times when that promise isn't reasonable or the safest choice. If ever you find yourself needing to rethink your idealism please know it's the love and care you give that matters, not WHERE it takes place.

Janice Bowman Make sure you have the financial POA the bank excepts... Plan ahead way ahead... I'm disabled and now suddenly my father who has brain damage and angry to be alive every fee days. He is angry and depressed.. I need help and he wont pay for help... so I'm doomed medicare has fail over 160 days now no speach thearapy I did it all alone with youtube help... I'm exhausted And now have high blood pressure... make sure you have help!

Learn to "GREY ROCK" all her attempts "Grey Rock" while *GIVING GRACE* you got this bro👍

I hope she's doing well

With dementia it may appear the person is manipulating but their personality changes. It’s part of the disease. I would encourage you to also think about your safety and her safety. If it becomes unsafe you may need to consider placement. Have an advanced directive for medical and power of attorney for financial reasons. Self care is very important.

Amen, wow, you understand well

Keep faith 👍

You are not required to care for a parent. Say NO. Set boundaries. You deserve a life. Guilt will hold you down. There is such a thing called unhealthy guilt.

The fact that you were there and cared for him is something to be very proud of. I'm sure he was so happy that it was you who kept a watch on him and loved him and just perfectly done in his eyes. I sure hope you are healing gracefully these days. I mean that! Take care💓

@ Ms. JaCee Yes that's where I'm at right now Tired . My mom 70 and got custody of my nephew that is 7 and he's disabled. And I'm caring for both of them the best I know how. My mom having health issues. It can be tiring 😪

@@walkandtalkwithvette I understand. I have six other siblings and they don't step up as much as I do. I pray that you have the strength to continue to be there for her. Our mom's deserves the world. Things will get better.

@@LadyLoveMsSunshine Unfortunately it's just me. My brother is somewhere in this world living his life..... But Thanks I pray things get better for you and family. 🙏🏾

I get like that too somedays and I have only been taking care of my wonderful Mommy for 10 months!!!

Check for resources maybe respite. You are not required to care for a parent. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them because you place them in a care facility. Set boundaries. You have a right to any feeling you have. They are neither good or bad. Just feelings

exactly

You wouldn't exist if it weren't for that said parent. There are problems with the role reversal model of what's happening. Two are rather glaring. One, you're dealing with a person who has lived independently more years than you have. (And you think you're not happy giving up your independence to care for them?! You feel life is giving you a raw deal? You still have a choice - care for them or not. They have no choice but to be dependent. Who's the one with the greater need?) Two, unlike most children, the elderly person is only going to fail more and more in health, physical ability, etc. Instead of becoming more and more independent, they increase in dependency -- plus there's no time horizon on this -- no end point in 18-20 yrs. As the speaker said, it's not a role reversal. You need another way of looking at things. Both sides need to give, not just a little, a lot. Never going to work one-sided.

Hang in there. I’m 26 and trying so hard to learn to care for my 75 year old grandfather who has dementia, is blind, cancer and mobility issues. He only has 3-6 months left to live. Im 125 lbs and I cannot lift him not help him much at all if he can’t stand.. I’m focusing on what his life was and all the positive impacts he has had. It’s hard everyday. I get emotional seeing his mind go and his quality of life change. But your grandfather is so lucky to have you. This is the darker side of life. Celebrate the beautiful and I’m so sorry for your pain. I wanna say I love you but that’s weird lol it just feels so much less lonely in these comments.

Nope. Can't help just sympathize.

just get it and put it on him. He will be happy you did

:) i hope things are going better for your family! there are some tactics you can try. (1) constantly talk about the need to get hearing aids; eventually your father might do it, because you keep talking about it all the time; (2) many people who have hearing loss don't think they have a problem; they think others aren't speaking clearly; so, another tactic is to bring them to an audiologist for a hearing test; even after the hearing test, they will probably tell you, they hear fine/enough anyway; but now you have a hearing test to prove they have problems hearing, (3) hearing aids aren't cheap; try to find a good brand; there's no point getting a cheap one that doesn't really work; the more expensive ones (like 2,000 - 3,000 Euros) will work better than very cheap ones. (4) many people who buy hearing aids, throw them away ("lose" them). they don't want to wear them. it's a hassle to put in the ears. and they think they hear fine. also --- a major point, they get used to the silence. here's a very important point: hearing loss, and not using hearing aids, can lead to dementia. not always. but often. in other words, it can lead to cognitive decline, loss of memory (because part of memory comes from hearing things). any sound (even hearing birds, the cars, traffic) stimulates the brain. it is good for the brain. that doesn't mean the louder the better. it means the brain needs to hear all these sounds (like turning of pages when you read). if you emphasize the importance of hearing aids to slow down cognitive decline, that is useful and important. (5) when they get hearing aids, they will most likely not want to use it, and only use it a few minutes here and there. it helps if you do hearing exercises together with the person (with their hearing aids on). if possible daily. then it becomes a habit to use hearing aids. if they say, "it doesn't work", "i don't hear better" -- it's not true. it just needs practice. one needs to practice using hearing aids daily, for several hours every day. after about 2-3 months of using hearing aids daily, they themselves will realize they indeed hear better with hearing aids. they might not get 100% perfect hearing -- but, much, much better hearing with hearing aids. they will also notice that indeed, with hearing aids, they themselves put the volume lower when they watch TV. i hope your family is well!! nice wishes from me to you and your family!

@@irenegaltung9304 Thank you for all this information. I'll will try these suggestions!

Absolutely!! When I dare to correct her she calls me a liar and screams. I think part of the dementia must be that they hear negative things instead of positive things. It's very odd

tom11zz884 Facility care for my mother at 64 would cost about 100k a year and there isn’t reason to think she won’t live another 20years. Even if she had put money away it wouldn’t have been enough. What we’re lacking in the US in a system that addresses the costs and problems while supporting the caregivers.

My parents did relatively well on preparing for the future but so much changes; Medicare, politics, social security, senior laws. I cashed out my retirement thinking that helping my folks was the answer. I was wrong.

jennifer bee Hey Jennifer, you're right there about a good system needed. Same needs here in UK, more should be done to make things better. I was surprised to hear Amy say on 'Less is More' TEDTalk that there's no research done on old age care. Guess it's not much of a money maker ey..

@@jenniferbee1500 Exactly! We would save so much in government money if they would pay family caregiver support to live in a multigenerational environment! Instead of $5k a month to a likely poorly run facility and then hospitalization we could care for our own loved ones in the manner THEY ask for.

Welcome to the club of "not my problem". I've been there and the more you read about these situations the more you see there are family members who for some reason think it's perfectly fine to leave the tough work of caring to others (and find creative excuses in the meantime that rationalize their NEGLECT). You need to stand up for yourself and do your best to make sure those who are stealing your time and peace of mind understand that you won't just quietly accept this. Not easy to do, because for those of us driven by a sense of obligation and duty we think of ourselves last. But if you burn out, then your poor grandmother will suffer just as much. Hope since you wrote this that you got more help.

@@tselinsky6452 thank you for responding ☺️ it’s been a year, and thankfully I can see my grandmother improving😊 tho there still times we disagree and I sometimes scold her but I’m happy to see her moving forward. It was a tough year, really.

@@aliyahhh2300 glad to hear your grandmother is doing better! I've got a 103 year old grandfather who I do physical therapy with every day. I didn't ask for the job, I'm not a physical therapist, but if I don't do it he may never walk again. We're making progress, though I likewise need to scold him from time to time for his own benefit. It's psychologically draining but seeing results makes it so worthwhile. Hope your family started pitching in more.

exactly. it sucked. she is an administrator, talks and walks like one. so removed from reality.,

EXACTLY!!!! What does she know?! It's her JOB!

She was talking to massage her own ego.

Stay strong kitty vortex am in the same boat, when people say it's not hard it makes me mad, for only a carer knows how hard it really is. Then i explain it as best I can, I say pick up half a brick an hold it out straight, it's easy at first but keep holding it an see how you go. We never can put it down. God bless you an keep holding on💛

I find cycling helps. I call it cycle-therapy! Try it.

I'm currently taking care of my 74 yr old mum ...made a rule for myself ..get up before her have my coffee & alone time ..make breakfast for both of us ..eat wth or without her ..but it's prepared so I can just give it to her...bad mood I take shower, if nice may sit /talk.. while she gets ready 4 day ...I check calendar of appt..options of activity or needs of the day ..my cut off time for service ends after dinner / bath . ..learned to say NO just like u would a kid ...have her set up 4 night (tv/book ) ..I relax in my room Options: (draw,meditate,tv,Dvd,RU-vid comedy,or things to make me smile ,play game to conquer something (therapy)...talk to husband/friends , ) ..brush teeth/ bedtime is 10:30pm or earlier ...Learn to say NO, I'm not here to be a robot , quite time,me time , team up wth someone to physically remove myself even for 2hrs is pure bliss , cry and force myself to return , Im human so take power naps whenever possible....knowing I am not alone..others are doing this 2 ...secretly knowing this to shall pass ...just not on my terms ..

You're right, the title is misleading. She does not directly address coping skills to lessen caregiving stress. She makes some good points but doesn't address the burnout and stress caregivers face. In that respect, it was a disappointment.

Marcie Willis Awesome comment. You made me smile, Thankyou 🙂☺️🙃👍🏽🌷

That's so horrible I'm sorry. I agree

I'm hoping not to live past 65

My both grandparents are in their 70s and they are capable of doing Everything on their own. My grandpa still works and owns several companies and my grandmother take care of at least 3 grandchildren at a time. So it really depends on how long you can maintain ur self and stay healthy.

You are not required to care for a parent. It’s ok. It is very stressful. Placement in a great care facility is ok

Sorry for your troubles, I'd get a PO box for mail or sign up for electronic bill pay. It sounds like your dad may have dementia and I hope you've found help. Hang in there.

AlyArt Hearts & good thoughts out to you so much. P.O. box such good idea Christina L! This is a good vid but has not much to do with the realities of caring for someone at home like so many of us have to. The new lifestyle - just to endure!...(and endure, and endure,...). The reason why is sad but at least we know we're not alone by far. Oh! Almost everywhete in the country has an Area Agency on Aging. They're non-profit so can tell you things & processes & laws & other agencies who can help you & what you/dad may qualify for; answers that you'd never get out of Medicare & Medicaid. Wouldn't have made it w/o their help. Hard part is squishing one more thing into a schedule to get there, eh!?

AlyArt, little late for you perhaps, but maybe it will help someone. You can now put blocks on your credit (& take them off when you want a new credit card, loan, or whatever) for free.

AlyArt -You post is a year ago, so this may be too late. However, if not, if you have not already, get a post office box for your mail. That will solve the problem of him getting your mail! You can also stop mail delivery to your house if you want to do that which would solve the issue of him trying to get credit cards in your name.

And there is no help. I'm going to an attorney this coming week who practices Elder law and see if he can help

You shouldn't be in that position. It will destroy you. I'm going through something similar. You're way too young to be saddled with this. Can you put her in assisted living or something?

At 62 why would your mother need someone to care for her? I’m 65 and work full time plus. I try to eat healthy and go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I pray I live a long healthy life but have no plans of asking my kids to care for me. That is kind of you to do that

don't get down about it. he's probably talking about it because it's closer for him.. or seems that way. it's ok to talk about death.. it's part of life.

I would kill to be in your situation. Try living with the alternative- someone who is dependent on you to do most things for them and has very limited independence.

blueminnie13 I absolutely understand and agree with you 100%

I think we all should remember the lifetime of situations that our parents went through with us from being newborns to adults. Imagine the times you rebelled,know it all, imagine them caring for you when you were sick, changing your diapers, food and shelter. We all need to do the best we can. It’s very trying seeing your parents get older. We can do it and I wish you all love, a peace of mind and a warrior spirit💪🏽🤜🏽🤩🥳🥰 you are going to need it. ❤️❤️❤️

I'm just getting high blood pressure... It's been years of travel and care now its 24/7 ... no help at all!

hahahahahaha thank you, i needed that!

🤣

@@KIC-7766 yall are crazy 🤣😂

And they wont take your house away your kids were going to inherit because you cant pay for the nursing home..

You are so right? Where are our values and priorities in society when we have better care for convicted criminals than our elderly parents?

I hope you have looked into resources in your area.

sometimes we need to choose. talk to me. i have same situation here.

It's all about time management! I have been caring for my mother for 17 years and I don't regret it all. What I do regret is allowing my siblings to get comfortable with, me not asking for any kind of help from them and now that I do need their help they are MIA. a little background story.... I've been married for 14yrs, have 3 children and resently

Its good to ask for help. There are compassionate people around. Use social media. Ask for help for maybe one day a week.

With you on the sibling regret. Might be a lost cause there now. Time to look elsewhere for help -- from more compassionate, caring resources. Check with your local gov't agency on aging to help you get in contact with local resources.